EKEELAJSTD TRIBUNE. POBLISUr.O BVKRY MONDAY AND THURSDAY. RILOS. A. BUCKLEY, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTEX. SUBSCRIPTION HATES. One Year $1 Fix Months 7b Four Months 50 Two Months £5 Subscribers are requested to observe the date following tho name on tho labels of their .papers. By referring to this they can tell at a glance how they stand on tho boohs In this office. For iiifitaucc: Grover Cleveland SSJuuettt means that Grovor Is paid up to Juno 28,1880, Keep the figures In advance of tho present duto. Report promptly to this office when your pu{>cr is not received. All arrearages must bo paid when paper is discontinued, or collection will be made in tho manner provided by law. When you llnd you have broken your good resolutions, make new ones. According to Mojor-General Tul loch, oi Victoria, New South Wales,de pends for its defense on ten obsoleto torpedo boats. Tho San Fraucisco Chronicle re marks: "Tho Actors' Protective Union, of 80-ton, has under consider ation a plan for securing lor tho D 0,033 actors of tho country an amendment to tho National election laws v hereby they will bo allowed to voto iu the place where their profes sion may call them on Election Day. At present they aro unable to vote ox copt at their own homes. Tho qucs tioti is a plain and simple ouo. It in volves only ar> amendment or two to tho Constitution of the United States, two or three aci3 of Congress, tho joint action of tho Legislature of more than forty Stales, and a completo re versal of tho doctrine of suffrago which has obtained since tho republic began. With these trifling obstacles removed thero could bo nothing in the way of the desire of the Actors' Protective Union, of Boston." Tho sjiaee given iu the annual mes sages of tho Governors of various States to tile question of good roads is indicative to tho New York Tribuno of tho growing popular interest in a question of largo importance in all parts of tho country. It cannot bo eaid that legislation his kept paco with tho demand for improved roads, and even whero laws have been en acted they have nob always accom plished the end in view. In this State, for example, through tho infinenco of Governor Flower a law was passed two cz three years ago which it was be lieved would stimulato a number of counties to engngo in road construc tion cn approved principles. But this result has not followed. Not a single county, wo believe, has taken advan tage of the provisions of that law. It is plain, therefore,that additional leg islation is demanded if Now York is to do its duty in providing good reads. Says tho New York News: "There' is a good deal of activity, particularly in tho New England States, among those who desire tho further restric tions of immigration, and it is not at all unlikely that Congress will bo asked to amend tho present law. Tho facts eet forth in a circular just sent out from Boston in justification of tho movement are that last year, uu der the present law, fourteen per cent, of tho immigrants who came to this country could not read their own language, while nineteen per cent, of them could not write, and that while tho foreign born population is not quite fifteen per cent, of tho total it furnishes one third of all the insane and nearly one half tho paupers. It is also urged that the immigrants now coming aro from countries whoso people are not good material for tho making of American citizens, nearly one-third of tho males over twenty-one years old already hero not having been naturalized, and about the same pro portion not speaking our language. These are grave facts and well worth considering. Thero is no doubt that many of those who land on those shores ought to be kept out, but it is extremely difficult to draw tho lino between thoso that arc desirable and those that are not. It will not do to require that an immigrant shall havo so much money before he is per mitted to come, for tho poor but in dustrious aro far more valuable acquisitions than tho indolent who may havo a few dollars. A racial dis tinction might bo made botweon im migrants from Europe, es wo havo al ready provided in the case of tha Chinese, but it would be difficult, if not quite impossible, to mete out absolute justice in that way. While the vast majority of tho arrivals from a certain Gountry may bo extremely bad material, there is sure to bo a minority who should be made wel come," TLL!S POLICE OF THE NAVY. DUTIES OF THE MARINES ON WAR SHIPS. They Aro ITcarllly D!.s!ikc:l by Jack Tar—A Lazy, Listless Life—The I'ay and the Togs. "V" \ 7*HEN anyone speaks of a \/\ I marine in these times tho \ Y hearer, if ho is a landlub ber, immediately thinks that a marine and a sailor aro pretty much the same thing. But if tho laud lubber does not want to got into seri ous trouble ho had better not address one of tho llat-cappcd, blue-jacketed sailors that he sees ashore as a marine. For if there is anything in tho world that the true sailor hates more tbau work it is a marine. There aro several reasons for this dislike, and not least among them is the fact that tho marine wears soldier clothes, and on shipboard ho is noth iug more nor less than a policoman, who will report Jack's every infringe ment of the rules. Jack does not like rules much better than he likos tho marine, aud so tho good sailor breaks tho rules and fights the marine when ever ho gets a good chauco. Another thing that adds to tho sail or's hatred of the mariuo is that, though tho sea-going soldier will re port a sailor nfc every opportunity, he will not report a brother marine whon there is any possible way to avoid it. For anyone looking for a life almost devoid of work tho marine corps is tho place for him, but a mariuo has many troubles that are even worse than tho sailor's work. It is a very easy matter to got in the mariuo corps, as there aro recruit ing stations all over tho country, aud any man over twenty-one and un der thirty years of age, who is in good physical condition and of fairly good character may bo enlisted. After tho ceremony known as sign ing the articles has been gone through tho marine is taken to tho barracks and receives an outfit from tho slop chest. This outfit consists of a fatigue aud a dress parade suit—four flannel shirts, two suits of underwear and a pair of shoes, if needed. Aud then the new mariuo must got iuto his "Government togs" and go out among his comrades to show them that lie has for §l3 o month and §l2O worth of clothes annually agreed to servo bis country for threo years. The marine during his term of cn listraeut has two years at sea aud one year in barracks, aud ou bis enlist ment ho begins with six mouths of his barrack life aud does tho other six mouths after he has been two years at Eca. In barracks the sea soldier is placed in the awkward squad, aud there he spends soiuo timo learning tho myster ies of "faclug," "dressing," and start ing off with tho left foot. Next comes a period of single rifle drill, aud then tho mariuo is assigned to his company and regiment. His life then is simply a round of meals, drills and guard mounts, and just as ho is beginning to think ho knows pretty near all about soldier ing, ho receives orders to prepare to go on board somo man-of-war, and his seafaring hfo begins. Ono day to prepare his bag for in spection, and then with his enlistment record in his hand, his knapsack on bis back, and in company with some eight or twenty men, as now in tho service as himself, lio marches to his lloatiug homo and lakes up his quar ters. At night tho marine guard is called aft by tho officer in charge, and the men rcceivo their instructions. They are told to report all breaches of dis cipline aud regulations and also how often they aro to go on sentry duty (about six hours oat of every twenty four) aud then they march back to their quarters aud think of what an easy time they aro going to have ou shipboard. Tho hammock is something of a puzzler to the new marine, aud it will be quite au hour after taps boforo ho learns to stay iu it without holding on to tho beams. When this lesson is learned, however, ha turns over and goes to sleep as quickly as ho can. But tho marine's first sloop ou ship board does uot last very loug, for the approutico boys single out one or two of their number for a court martial, and when tho eoldier gels well asleep his hammock is cut down, and as he strikes the deck with a bump a blan ket is wrapped around his head. Almost smothered and wondering "where ho is at," tho marine is led to somo quiet place under the forecastle, tho blanket is removed aud tho court convenes. He is asked his name, and if he has any sense at all he answers civilly, for if ho does not eomo strong, young ap proutico will strike him on tho head with a stuffed club and some oue else will wrap the blanket around his mouth to prevent his making an oat cry. Any well constituted court will order that the marine "walk the plank," and the marine, blindfolded, is made to perform this clangorous feat—only the plauk is turned inshore. Then ho will bo pounded with stuffed clubs until the boys get tired or the officer of the dock interferes. A marine on shipboard rises at 5.30 or 7 o'clock in the morning, accord ing to the watch that ho had tho night before. If bis was au evening watch, he rises with tho early mou, but a man standing morning or mid-watch is al lowed to sleep on until 7 o'clock. Ou most of the ships it is tho duty •of tho marines to scrub tho dock and ' clean brass work ou tho poop deck, 1 aud this is u good two hours' job, but j after it is completed tho marine has | the pleasure of stauding against a rail ■ in idleness while tho sailors work. I Thero is a separate meal for the i marines, and they breakfast at tho re gnlar ship hours, except tho men who aro going on watch, and their meals aro always ready half an hour before tho regular time. After breakfast comes the polishing of arms and equipment, and tho cloth ing must bo brushed boforo quarters. Tho marine has a harder timo at quar ters than does the sailor, for tho for mer has so much brass about his uni form, and all of that must shine. Extra sentry duty is the punishment for untidiness at quarters, though in extreme cases the delinquent is de prived of shore leave. Tho marine has two hours' drill n day, and with his guard duty that is all of his work. Tho life would bo very easy were it not for tho pranks that the sailors aro always playing on the marines. No sea soldier need hope to win tho respect of the sailors, for if ho does his duty they will dislike him, and if ho neglects it they will call him a slob and despise him just as much. —Now York Sun. Good Manners of the Elephant. While visiting the "Zoo" somo timo ago I took my children to sco the | elephant and to give them a ride. Af ter tho ride I wanted to give the ele phant a bun, and, to make him say "Please," said "3ulaam kuro"—that is, make a salaam. The animal looked at me hard for somo timo with a bun in my hand ; at last mornory came to his help, and up went his trunk aud ho made a most correct "salaam." Tho keeper seemed very much sur prised and asked mo what it meant. I told him it was a point of good man ners for an elephant to raise his trunk up to his forehead if any one was go ing to food him, and that frequently elephants will ask in this polite man ner for something when they seo any ouo pass by who is likely to food them. The koepcr assured mo he had never seen tho elephant do this before, aud, if I remember rightly, ho had beon in charge of the animal since it arrived from India, and that it was one oj those which took part iu the grand procession at Agra when His Royal Highness, tho Prince of Wales, visited India, and where I doubtless saw it. For sovcutceu years this animal had never hoard these words and hud al ways taken his food without this mark of good manners, but now I dare say tho koepor makes him remember his youthful good manners, and tho little children will see on their visits to tho "Zoo" this instance of "always say please."—London Times. Snails For the Market. Tho edible snails, which appear on the cards of certain New York restau rants, are chiefly imported from France, whore they aro propagated lor the market at a prico of about eight cents a pound. Extensive parks are prepared for them, and during the late summer months they aro fattened upon cabbage and clovor. A wagon load of cabbages, coating less than $2, will put 100,000 Hnaila in condition. Along the Cote d'or and in the lowei Alps, snail picking is as recognized an industry as berry picking, and i 3 car ried on in something the samo way. Iu tho early morning of March and April when the dew is on tho grass and the slimy trail of the edible little morsels glistcus on theleavos with the first sun rays, tho pickers set forth with baskets and pails. They find the snails in swampy places resting on the limbs of bushes aud vinos and slug gish with tuo chill of tho spring upon them. They pluck them from leaf and twig very much as tho farmer's boy gathers the dewberries iu August, i These snails are of natural growth. Tho most desirable species of snail ! is known as the esc argot. It is pro- ! pared for the table by separate baths of vinegar, and of salt and fresh j water. Tho snail is ready for tho market when it is larded in a paste of ; butter, garlic and othor favored Gallic condiments. When the housekeeper doos her shopping in tho markets of Paris she pays from ouo to two cents for caoh snail.—New York Mail an J Express. Extracting Teeth by Electricity. Trials have been made at London with a now apparatus for tho extrac tion of teeth by electricity. It con sists of an induction coil of extremely fine wire, having an interrupter that can vibrato at tho rate of 430 times a second. The patient sits in the tra ditional armchair and takes the nega tive eloctrode iu his left hand and the positive in the right. At this moment the operator turns on a current whose intensity is gradually increased till it has attained the utmost limit tho pa tient can support. Tho extractor is then put in circuit aud fastened on the tooth, which, under tho action of the vibration, is loosened at once. The operation is performed very quickly, and the patient feels no other sensation than tho pricking produced in the hands and forearm? by the passage of tho current. It would bo interesting to huvo a de tailed description of tho apparatus to completo this somewhat brief deeerip tion.—Nature. Xlomnrkabio Second Sight. A romarkable incident of "second sight" occurred iu the Scotland min ing district of Benhar ou Now Year's Day. A minor named Donald MeFar lauo disappeared Sunday, leaving no trace of his whereabouts. After two days' search Robert Halbert, an old rnau who had the reputation of possess ing second sight aud was a brother-in law of McFarlane, fell asleep and dreamed he saw the missing man iu a particular part of Almond Water. Mentioning this to neighbors, they went to tho place and saw tho foot prints of the missing man in tho snow. Eventually they found tho man him self standing upright iu the water with tho ico frozen around him. He was dead.—Trenton (N. J.) American. j SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. i Arterial blood is red because it has I just been purified in tho lungs. Tho eye is not sensitive to cold be cause it is so well supplied with blood vessels. Tho sca-nottle stings its prey to death by means of a poison secreted i in its tentaolos. ! A recent industrial innovation in , Switzerland is tho manufaetura of ' floor mosaics from wood pulp. | The Board of Health of Tekonsha, Mich., has ordered tho dogs and oats killed belonging to families afflicted j with diphtheria. I Action of sea water lias so loosened tho joints of the aluminium torpedo boat recently built for the Froneh Navy that it is in danger of falling to pieco3. Tho Secretary of tho North Caro lina Health Board cites many instances of towns which had been almost uninhabitable from malaria becoming all right when pure water wa3 intro duced. Professor Williams, of Edinburgh, after a period of investigation reports that the danger of tuberculosis spread ing among human beings is vory much greater from the milk than from the flesh of cows. Ono of tho balloons recently sontup by French scientists with automatical ly registered thermometers and ba rometers reached a height of ton miles, when tho thermometer registered 110 degrees below zero. A German scientist says: "Tho eye should never be rubbed save with tho elbow," meaning that it should never be rubbed at all, for tho reason that this most delicato organ should al ways bo handled with tho utuio3t gen tleness. Tho eyelids eloso involuntarily when tho eyo is ihroatened in order that this organ may bo protected. If a man had to think to shut his oyes when something was thrown at them he would bo too slow to savo tho eyo from injury. To prevent tho spreading of conta gious diseases through tho tolephono the Paris Faculty of Medioiuo recom mouds tho use of a specially proparod antiseptic paper. Diphtheria is said to bo ono of the complaints most oasi ly propagated by telephone. Iron, through its uso for electrical purposes, sebms to have developed a new quality, magnetio fatigue. In tests made of transformers lately in London to ascertain tho open circuit loss, it has been found that tho loss inoroaso.l steadily for tho first 2JO days until it reached a fairly constant value of forty per cent, moro than at starting. Tho rapidity with which certain species of insects inovo is something truly astonishing. Tho common house lly is known to luako 001 strokes per second with his wings, and tho dragon fiv 1500. In tho caao of tho fly tho 600 stroks causes an advance move ment of twenty-seven feet. Those are fignres on ordinary flight, and it is believed that tho fly is capable of in creasing both tho strokes and advanoa movement seven-fold. It is now woll established, U3 a ro suit of tho studios of Lo Couto, Hunt, Sponcer, A. Agassiz and others, that tho winds and ocean currents very largely determine tho position and ehapo of circular coral islands, or atolls. Iu tho case of plauts, besides tho action of gravity and of light, their shapo is doubtless influenced by currents of air. And tbeso physical causes havo also a potent influence in determining the plantlike shapo of fixed animals, like spouges, polyps and all animals when symmetry is ra diate. Russia Has Largo Cavalry Forces. A German paper states that tho cre ation of the new Russian army corps in Poland will lead to tho concentra tion of Huch masses of cavalry an aro found in no other army in tho world. In tho Government of Warsaw there will bo throe divisions of cavalry, three rcgimonts of Cossackß, and cor responding batteriesof horse artillery. This great mass of cavalry will face the German frontier and havo its ccntro at Warsaw, its right resting on Plotz and its left on Lublin. It is re ported that some time ago secret maneuvers wero hold in tho Govern ment of Wilna to test tho possibility of handling such masses of cavalry, with tho rosult that tho commander in-chief expressed an opinion that no troops conld stand boforo them. This may be true, says the German critic, but how can snch numbers be marched about nuy country and fed altogether? Handling tliom would bo an easy mat ter compared with tho commissariat officers' work to provido food. —Chi- cago Herald. Care of the Ears. A prominent, physician sny3 that moro than half of tho ear troubles from which people suffer during tho cold weather can l#j traced to the liahit of picking at tho ears with the fingernails or hairpins or somo other hard substance, whioh irritatos tho dolieate insido of the ear. Instead of this injurious "picking," tho cars should ho washed out with warm water and a littlo good soap, and thor oughly dried after tho operation. If tho ears aro sensitivo a littlo cotton may bo put in before going into the open air, though this is apt to mako them evon moro sensitive. In ex tremely cold weather before venturing out a good way to clean tho oars is to wrap tho corner of a towol around tho finger, and with a littlo cold cream oarofully wipe out tho auricle. It will remove every partiole of dust and will really protect the ears from the cold, but it can scarcely bo recom mended for regular use. —New York World. ADVANTAGE OP WARM FEED. Giving warm feeds to young animals not disposed to be thrifty will very otteu have a happy effect. Thcso an imals may suffer from weak digestion, whioh in turn produces a poor appo tite. The animal docs not eat heartily, and what it docs cat is not well di gested. A hot mess somo cold morn ing sharpens tho appetite and tones up tho digestion.—American Agricul turist. A I:OSE PIT. Ilnva any of you ever triad growing roso cuttings in a pit? asks a corre spondent of tho Detroit Free Press. I am making my first trial with one. Some lady recommended this plan last year, hut I lost the paper containing her directions and am working by guess mostly. I had u pit dug two feet deep and just wide enough to ho covered with a Inrgo sash. I had about six inches of rich dirt spread in tho pit and packed down. The cut tings were stuck in this soil in rows four inches apart, and woll watered. Then the sash was put over them, resting on tho surface of the ground and banked around with earth to keop the water from running in. Wo have had hard weather for Middle Alabama, but up to date the young roses are looking groen audi hope have takon root. They aero planted in Novem ber. I don't know how it will turn out, hut so far am well pleased with this new method of planting cuttings. I presume it will bo equally good for other plants. THE MAIiKET FOB FHTJITB. Will tho markets for fruits bo over stocked? There is no probability of it. Hardly a possibility. This an cient habit of eating fruits, which has grown with our race from tho first, when it is alleged that our first parents threw away their homo and happiness for an apple, increases with civilization. Flesh eating is a relic of barbarism and savage life. Fruit consumption is quite the reverse, and is tho outward sign of a high state of cultivation, which—no ouo can deny, notwithstanding tho scandals and general wickedness that arc un covered by the nntiring and omni present reporter—is far ahead of any other period in the history of the world, and, as improvements once be gun go on forever, so this adjunct of it, fruit eating, will increase rather than go baok. The farm orchards oven aro neglect ed for the business plantations which aro managed by tho most skillful ex perts. Every device of good nature is made a mere matter of business, and thus it is that tho farmer will bay his fruit moro oheaply than ho can grow it, while ho may produce moro milk and butter, or potitoes, and soil these to tho fruit grower, who sup plies him, iu exohange for his needed farm prodnots. It is tho samo in every industry. There are no more the jacks of all trades. Special industries and products aro tho rule, and with these the quality and tho cheapnoss increase together, for with constant experience and practice come skill and excellence, and these necessarily mean a greater cheapness of production.—New York Times. THE AItT OF FEEDING. Feeding is an art that doserves much thought and experiment, write 3 N. Sumner Perkins. It is not much to throw downa little grain andhay to whatever stock may be kept, using any kind of grain and fodder that comes most handy; but it is something entiroly different to have sufficient Unowledgo of tho character and com position as the various feodstufla, to bo able to compound rations that closely meet the neods of the classes of farm animals, and at tho samo time are most economical for tho feeder. It is very obvious that each feeder must first consider what articles of feed aro cheapest for him, what ho can produoe or buy at least expense. There are many mostexcellont feed stuffs tho liighpricesof which, insomo sections of the country, forbid their being used profitably by farmers in those localities. It is very plain that tho best possible ration for a givou animal may bo so expensivo as to en tirely preclude its use. Iu such oases a really inferior ration must bo fed in order to givo the feeder any profit. Therefore tho problem that confronts each and every individual farmer is to determine what articles of stook feed he can obtain most readily and cheap ly, and to strike a oombimition of tho samo that is well balanood, having duo proportions of nitrogoneou3 and car bonaceous elements. It must be always borno in mind what tho ago of the animal is, and for what purpose it is being fed. A young animal requires a great deal of such foods as form lean meat (tmucle) and bono moHt rapidly. These ore termed nitrogenoous, from the fact that they contain considerable nitrogen. Among tho grainß we find bran, oats, linseed, cottonseed and glutton moals to bo highly nitrogeneoas in their composi tion. Cloverß of all species are also exceedingly rioh in protein or nitro gencous matter. For a corbonoocous food, corn is found tho cheapest and bost over tho larger portions of the area of our eutiro country. Hence it 1b that there is nothing like corn to finish off (fatten) cattle, shoep and swine. There aro a few things for the feeder to keep in mind. Other things being equal, the stock receiving the largest variety of foods will grow the best and fatten the quickest. Anothor item is to give reasonable bulk to each meal of tho stock. Substances taken into tho stomach must bo light, so that tho digestive fluids may act upon them with thoroughness, ease and fa cility. Otherwise, indigestion and derangement of the alimentary canal, together with failure to assimilate the food, will occur. Regularity is an other important essential. How it frets a hungry man to wait for a meal. Therefore, how it must worry an ani mal also. This worry will always re sult in a loss to tho feeder. —Ohio Farmer. ccp.E FOB noa CHOLERA. Chief Salmon, of the Bureau of Ani mal Industry, in an offioially published nrticle on hog cholera and swine pleague, does not uphold tho theory that these diseases are caused solely by germs in the food or drink. He says swine will contract hog cholera in this way, but also by inhaling tho virus with tho uir, and less frequently by iis gaining entrance through tho surface of a fresh wound. On the other hand, "the virus of swine plague is generally if not always taken into tho lungs with the inhalod air." Tho first effect of cholera is believed to bo upon tho intestines, with secondary invasion of the lungs, but the firat effect of plague is believed to be upon the lungs, and tho invasion of tho in testines a subsequent process. Ono or both of these diseases gener ally aro at work among hogs, espec ially tho young ones. They are esti mated to oanso tho loss of $10,090,000 to $25,000,000 worth of hogs per year in the United States. It is understood that this fall tho troublo is moro prev alent than ordinary, and this fact is cited by some to explain tho pheno menal aotivity with which hogs have been marketed in the last two mouths, with tho accompanying decrease of not far from teu per cent, in tho avor ago weight of the animal sent to market. The hogs have not been kept to fatten so long as usual, but it is only fair to say that this may bo in considerable part duo to scarcity of feed on account of tho paucity of the corn crop in nearly all the Northern States except Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. Nevertheless, tho suspoeted prevalence of one or both these mala dies renders it of interest that tho fol lowing remedy should be known by overy farmer who is a hog grower, sinco it is recommended by the depart ment as tho most efficacious formula which has been tried: Wood charcoal, sulphur, sodium sulphate aud auti mony sulphide, one pound of each, and sodium chloride, sodium bioar bonato aud sodium hyposulphate, two pounds of each. These ore to bo com pletely pulverized aud well mixed. The dose is o large tnblespoonful for each 200 pounds weight of hog treated an:l given only oneo per day, boing stirred into a soft feed made by mix ing bran aud middlings, or middlings and commeal, or ground oats and corn, or crushed wheat with hot water. A great recommendation for this re medy is tho fact that hogs aro fond of it, and whon oneo they taste of food with whioh it has been mixed they will eat it, though nothing else would tempt them. They should bo dreuuiied with it iu hot water if too eiok to eat, aud most of those so troateil will bogin to eat soon after. The report recom mends tho medicine for use as a pre ventive of thoso diseases, for which purpose it ought to be pat into tho feed of tho whole herd, presumably in much nmaller quantity than above stated for Biol: animals. It is said to be an excellent nppotizor aud stimu lant for tho processes of digestion and assimilation so that it causes the uni mals to take ilosh rapidly and "assume a thrifty appearance." Of course isolation should bo attended to in cases where infoetion from other animals is feared. FARM AND GARDEN NOTES. When you buy a horse, tako off his harness and let him walk by himself. If ho runs into auything you will know he is blind. If a horse is bad tempered, be is apt to keep his ears thrown back. If ho is a kicker, his legs will be 6carred. If his skin is rough, his digestion is not good. Tho bicyclo has out down tho busi ness of oity iivery stables fully half. This must bo remembered in tho brecdiug of common little scrub horses. All animal fnts aro a mixtnro of three substanoos — oloiD, stcarine and palmatine. Tho fat of men and dogs contains most palmatine; that of horses and cows most stcarine; fish, most oleiu. A pig is a pig till it is a yoar old. Then it becomes a hog. In classifica tion for fairs, however, when a pre mium is offered for a sow and pigs, it is understood that tho pigs ore to be under six months old. When a cow dies suddenly from un known caures open her stomach, and you will sometimes find therein not less than u pound of nails, taoks and bits of wire. BUe lias swallowed them along with the ground feed, bran, grain, middlings, etc., tiiat you have been giving her for several years, A' loot the mess has killed her. THE MERRT SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOED BY THE FTJNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. There iff No New Woman—Etiquette vs. Cynicism—C. O. D, —Tho Dis tinction, Etc., Etc. Now woman? Oh, bloss you, sho isn't new, Though she's callotl so. at uny rate, Sho shops just the same us the old onus do, And uska if her hat's on straight., She's as curious ns other women are, And a big hat wears ut a piny, And she always steps o.T a trolley car With her iuoo turned the other wuv. —Now York l'ress. SUPERSTITION. Poet (with MS.) —"What floor is the editorial department,?" Elevator Boy—"Thirteenth." Poet—"Good day."—Puck. ETIQUETTE VS. CYNICISM. Novice—"When a man and a woman become engaged, which one is it propor to congratulate?" Cynic—"Neither."—Chioago Rec ord. HIS ATTENTION DIVIDED. Mrs. Jones—"John, yon didn'tkeop your eyes on tho preacher all the time." Mr. Jones—"How could I? I had my umbrolla with me."—Life. TIIE DISTINCTION. Teacher—"What is the difference between victuals and viands?" Soholor—"We have victuals on wash days and viands when wo have company."—Detroit Free Press. A TAMILIAN EXPERIENCE. Plugwineh—"Toll you what, old mnu, if I'd my life to live over again I'd marry money, wouldn't you?" Enpeck (decisively) "No, sir! Money talks I"—Philadelphia Life. on, YES I CERTAINLY 1 "Now, you will have to ask papa for his consent," said Miss Willing to her accepted suitor. "Oh, yes! Certainly!" rcpliod Jack Coy. "Of course ! Er—has he a tel ephone: at his office?"— Puck. O. O. D. Willie—"Marjorie, yon have re turned my written pruposal marked 0. O. D. Tell me, what does it mean?" Marjorie (blnshiug) —"Why why, C. O. D. means, Call on Dal."— Truth. VANITY. Maude (at tho piano)—"l do hato these linger exercises. I think they'ro just horrid. Editu -"Why, I think they'ro love ly. They do show off one's rings to such advantage, you know."—Boston Transcript. END IT ALL. Cholly Chumpleigh—"Miss Coldeal, onr friendship has lasted a long time. If I should ask yon to marr.v me will you promiso to think it over?" Miss Coldeal (rising) "ITos, Mr. Chumpleigh, I- should thiuk it was over, at onoe." A WAY THEY HAVE. Mrs. Hieks—"Dick was sick all night, and, as a consequence, Mr. Hicks is ill in bod from worry and loss of sleep." Mrs. Dix—"Whcro is Dick?" Mrs. Hieks—"l sent him after tho doctor." —l'uok. A SUPERIOR ATTRACTION. First Small Boy—"Come over and play in this mnd-puddle." Second Small Boy—Nope; youoomo over and play in this one." First Small Buy—"l won't. Tho water's dirtier in this puddle than it is in yours."—Judge. IIF.n IGNORANCE. A five-year-old, who went to school for the first time, came homo at noon, and said to his mother, "Mamma, I don't think that teacher knows lnuoh?" "Why not, my dour?" "Why, she kept asking quostions all tho time. She asked where the Mississippi was."—Philadelphia Life. VERY UNFORTUNATE. Whimsiens—"l always know that thirteen was an unlucky number I Jol lious gave au awfully swell dinner at Del's the othor nigbt, aud there wore just thirteen nt table." Flimaious—"Woll, what happenod?" Whirnsicus "What liappoaoili Why, I wasn't invited!"— Life. TIIE MYSTERY. First Depositor—"l supposo thoro's no telling how tho bank's money went ?" Second Dopositor—"Oh, yes! That has all been cloarod up. There's only one thing that isn't clear, now." First Dopositor—"What is that?" Second Depositor—"How they caina to leave any assets."—Puok. A PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATION. "What do yon Western poople mean by 'rouudiug up' cattle?" asked the Boston girl. And the Chicago girl, who would not admit that she didn't know it all, replied: "Ob, that is a sort of slang term for tho fattening of them—of course, that makes them round in out line, yon know."—Cinoinnati Tribuno. White olothing is cool, because it reflects tho heat of tho sun; black clothing is warm, beoauso it absorbs both heat and light. Iron bedsteads are safe during a thunder storm, because, being good conductors, they keep tho electricity from the body.