FREELAND TRIBUNE.
pesuuHxn iviitr
MONDAY AND TI TUESDAY.
TLIOS. A. BUCKLEY,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTO*.
BUHBCBIPTION BATES.
One Year ......................Ji go
Six Months 75
Four Month. 50
Two Months 25
Sutiflcribera are requatm to observe tho data
following the name on the labels of their
papers. Dy referring to this they can teU at a
glance how they stand on the books in this
office. For instance:
Orovor Cleveland 2&Juue9s
means that I• rover is paid up to Juno 28, TSB6,
Keep Die tlgurcelu advance of tho present data.
Report promptly to this office when your paper
is not received. Ail arrearages must bo paid
when paper Ih discontinued, or collection will
br made In the manner provided by law.
Tho Harvard Graduates' Mngnzino
sayß that there is not an institution of
learning in tho country that teaches
tho Russian language and literature.
Search lights are such good targets
for tho enemy's guns that tho Ger
mans are arranging to throw tho light
first on a mirror and thenco on tho
enemy, thereby concealing its real
source.
Only two killed and eight injured is
tho casualty record of tho Citizens'
Traction Company, of Pittsburg,
Tenm, for tho past two years. Twen
ty-eight million passengers were trans
ported during that timo.
A curious scientist has calculated
that the oltspring ot a single mierobo
in twenty-four hours will outnumber
tho population cf London, whilo in
forty-eight hours they will reach tho
number of 280,000,01)0,000,000.
Tho pawnshop established by St.
Bartholomew's Episcopal Church, of
New York City, for tho benefit of tho
poor has been so successful that tho
congrogation is trying to raiso another
SIOO,OOO to put into it. It pays its
own expanses.
Tho estimated losses from hog chol
era and swino plague of between $lO,-
000,000 and $25,000,000 per annum
in tho United States of the treatment
and means of prevention of these dis
eases in a bulletin issued by the Agri
cultural Department, is of great value
to tho farmers of this country.
English newspapers aro warning
persons against emigrating to Mexico,
with a view to permanent settlement,
without informing themselves in a re
liable way as to the prospects of earn
ing a livelihood. It is claimed that
numbers of Englishmen have boon
deoeived by unscrupulous speculators.
Baring Brothers & Co. will soon bo
roady for business again. Tho great
liquidation is endod, a syndicate hav
ing taken tho last block of securities,
amounting to $7,500,000, held by tbo
Bunk of England. It is thought that
about $3,000,000 will bo left over
from the settlement for tho Baring
family to divide.
Two striking instances of tho de
pression in tho value of agricultural
land in England are reported in tho
Chicago Herald, from Kent. Forty
acres of good arable land near Lvdd,
which a few years since was valued at
$350 an acre, has changed hands for
$2500. Another arablo farm of 170
acres, mortgaged for SIO,OOO, has been
sold for $9350.
Tho Suez Canal is characterized by
Mr. Mnlhall, in tho current Contem
porary Bo view, as "by far tho most
important waterway in tho world, and
perhaps tho most useful work ever
made by man. It shortens tho voyage
between Europe and the East by one
third, thus enabling two vessels to do
tho work of three, and its traStto has
increased fifty-four per cent, in ton
years," from 7,120,000 gross touuago
and 5,070,000 net tonago in 1882 to
10,870,000 and 7,710,000, respectively,
in 1892. In 1892, seventy-six per
cent, of tho vessels were British, aud
the profits of tho company in tho same
year amounted to $7,200,000, aftor
deducting working exponses.
A Clever Advertisement.
A physician of Muntpeiler was in the
habit of employing a very Ingenious nr
lltlee. When lie came to a town where
ae was not known, he pretended to have
lost his dog, and ordered the public crier
to offer, with bent of drum, a reward of
twenty-five louis to whomever should
bring it to him. The erler took care to
mention nil tho titles and academic
aonors of the doctor, ns well as Ids place
of residence. He soon became the talk
flf the town. "Do you know," says one,
"that n famous physician lias come
hero, a very clever fellow? He must
lie very rleli, for he offers twenty-five
loots for finding Ids dog." The dog was
aot found, but patients were.
±D DORATHEAM.
I KPQwxAere there is honey in a iar.
Meet for a certain little friend of inlno;
And, Dorothy. I know whore daisies are
That only wait small hands to intertwino
A wreath for such u golden head us thlno. v
The thought that thou art coming makes nil glad;
The house is bright with blossoms high ami
low.
And many a little lass aud little lad
Expectantly are running to and fro;
The Am within our hearts Is all aglow.
We want thee, child, to share In our delight
On tßts high day. tho holiest and best.
Because 'twas then, ere youth hud taken flight
Tby grandmamma, of women loveliest,
Mode mo of men most honored and most blest
That naughty boy who led theo to suppose
He was thy sweetheart has, I grieve to tell,
Been seen to pick the garden's choicest rosu
And toddle with It to another belle,
W ho does not treat him altogether well.
But inind not that, or let It teach thee this—
To waste no love on any youthful rovor
(All youths are rovers, I assure thee, Miss.)
No, If thou wouldst true constancy discover,
Thy grandpapa Is perfect as a lover.
So come, thou playmate of my closing day,
The latest treasure life can offer mo,
And with thy baby laughter make us gay.
Thy fresh young voice shall sing, my I)orothy
Songs that shall bid tho foot of sorrow lieu.
—W. E. Gladstone.
"NUMBER 29."
The vast, mud-colored building
loomed out of the fog as the doctor's
brougham drew up, with a jerk, under
the portico. Against the dark lining
of the carriage the set face of a man
inside was visible by the light of a
portable lamp. It was the face of a
man whose mind is not at ease. There
were irritable folds at the corners of
the mouth, a restless look in the keen
eyes, even as they traveled over the
page he was reading. Sir Kenneth
Brandon only shut his book as ho
stepped out and entered the White
chapel Hospital. The doctor always
read as he drove about London from
one consultation to another. It was
his habit to allow himself no leisure
for idle thoughts.
Sir Kenneth Brandon was one of the
few London doctors whose names are
familiar abroad. He had made one
big discovery, he had done a great
deal of useful work, and at 50 he was
already making a large income. His
recent knighthood was popular—not
only among his patients, but among
his professional brethren—and his din
ners were among the nicest in town.
And yet many people—and, who
knows? pertiaps Sir Kenneth himself—
missed a hostes' smile, a woman's win
ning phrases, at his brilliant dinner
table in AVimpole street. Sometimes
—if ever he had timo to think per
haps the great physician might have
regretted the pretty, bad-tempered,
foolish wife, whom ho had scolded and
neglected in the old days; the child—
for she was little more—who had fin
ally left their dingy suburban villa for
good; the girl he might have saved be
fore it waß too late—£or at first she
had left his house aftor one of their
miserable, sordid squabbles, and had
gone back to her father and it was only
after a humiliating scene with her hus
band that she had finally disappeared.
6he had disappeared, and she had never
come back. The police had been un
able to find a trace of her, beyond that
sho had first gono to Spain with some
man who was unknown to him. After
that all was a blank. To all intents
and purposes his wife was as one who
is dead. Y'et the embittering qunrrels
of those early years; his severity when
he should have been lenient; his care
lessness when he ought to have
watched over the foolish young life
that he had sworn to cherish and pro
tect—were facts which, though he sel
dom allowed himself to think of them,
had left their traces written on the
great physician's face.
Inside tho large hall, where a mar
ble statue of the Queen loomed chilli
ly out of tho vague half-light, a lady
was already waiting for him—a fair,
high-bred face, with something of the
look of the student, modernized by a
slightly bored air, such as is often seen
in a cultivated woman of the world.
Lady Sibthorpe was a widow of leisure,
and was intermittontly interested in a
variety of questions. She occasionally
wrote a short article for one of the
monthly reviews, preferring such top
ics as do not usually commend them
selves to the more tender-hearted sex,
for she by no means posed as a phi
lanthropist, and was understood to
have views a little in advance of those
of the British matron. Jußt now, for
instance, sho was interested in the hos
pitable question, and at a dinner party
the night before Sir Kenneth had vol
unteered to explain the internal work
ing of the "Whitechapcl." The doctox
never missed an opportunity of being
useful to Lady Sibthorpe; Bhe was just
the woman he would have asked to be
his wife
They met as people meet who are
more than interested in each other.
For some time past Lady Sibthorpe had
known that he liked her, and fur some
timo past she had almost made up hoi
mind that she might accept him, but
there was no hurry; they were both oi
a certain age; they both had their oc
cupations, their aff airs. And now they
turned up the stone staircase together
on their way to tho woman's wards.
Lady Sibthorpe paused for an instant
as they passed the operating theater
The doors were closed. Out Hide ttvc
porters were waiting with a stretcher
Suddenly the door was pushed ajar
and then there was a vision of anxious
interested faces, lit up by a strong
glare of gas; of u nurse's hack bending
forward, and of a Burgeon's face blow
ing spray on to something that was in
visible. Over all an intense silence,
broken only by the hoarse whispers ol
tho porters with the stretcher, wonder
ing how long they would have to wait
* * * Lady Sibthorpe was not emo
tional, but she shivered a little as slit
passed on.
In the "Catherine ward" the fifty
blue coverleted beds effaced themselves
in the gloom of the long room. Hers
and there the firelight illumined the
bland, unemotional features of a nurse
under her smooth hair and white cap
the sexless features of a woman who
has learned to witness suffering with
out a sign.
On seeing Sir Kenneth Brandon
Sister Catherine, a long-nosed woman
with bright eyes, hurried forward as
superintendent of the ward.
The doctor introduced the two wo
men to each other, and for a while
Lady Sibthorpe, note book in hand,
was absorbed with statistics.
"Now take me round to your pa
tients, Sir Kenneth," she said when she
had done. Sister Catherine moved for
ward, a professional look on her bright
face. They stopped at every bed.
Lady Sibthorpe asked questions in a
business-like way, and Sir Kenneth,
whose "hospital manner" was pro
verbial, addressed the patients in the
same tone he would have employed to
a duchess. J lis way with women was
one of the things for which he was
justly famous. They had come to the
end of one of the lines of beds, and
were now turning up the other sidn of
the room.
"We have a new patient there, Sir
Kenneth," said the sister; "No. 29—a
hopeless case—the last stage of con
sumption, aggravated by want and
dirt. They brought her in from one of
the common lodging houses. Poor
creature! she was in a terrible state
when she came."
"Indeedl" ejaculated the great physi
cian, in his sympathetic voice.
All three approached the bed. The
patient'B back was turned to him, but
as steps approached sbe tossed over
and lay on her back, her weekly vicious
faco, with its flush of color on each
cheek bone, looking sharply emaciated
against the witnesses of the pillow.
There were streaks of gray in the dark
hair, and the eyes—dull, slaty eyes,
which had once been blue—were blood
shot and red-lidded.
Sir Kenneth leaned forward and their
eyes met in a long star, jf * * The
years seenyed to roll away. * * *
The doctor's heart stood still. Great
God! Coukl this horrible wreck of
womanhood bo his wife? * * *
And she was going to speak? It was
a fateful moment.
But No. 29 only langhed—an un
mirthful coarse and empty laugh
•'Oh, Lordl Are you here?" she mut
tered, and tossed over.
The doctor drew a long breath; he
had grown a little paler before he
spoke. "Poor creature; she mistakes
me for some one else. They often do
it the last," he whispered, and then,
taking down the usual cardhungabove
the bed on which the patient'B age,
disease and diet, as well as tho doctor's
name in charge of the case, were writ
ten, he added urbanely: "Quite right
—perfectly right. Dr. Brown lias or
dered everything that could possibly
oe of use. Sister, look after this case
specially."
Lady Sibthorpe said something gra
cious and passed on. Not a feature of
the strange scene had escaped her. It
was evident that something extraordi
nary had happened. That these two—
the fashionable physician and the piti
ible outcast on the hospital mattress—
xnew each other she had now not tho
smallest doubt. But the three moved
on to the next bed, smiling and chat
ting as they went. Presently Sir Ken
neth Brandon urged a consultation at
the other end of London at 5 o'clock
And offered to drive Lady Sibthorpe
oack, as sho had sent away her car
riage. They were both rather silent as
they were bowled, along westward.
A few nights afterward they met, by
accident, at a dinner. The talk, like
tho food, was stimulating; the wine,
(ike the beauty of the women,
It was in gracefully artificial moments
like these that Sir Kenneth, pessimist
though he was, felt tenderly toward all
the world. Sir Kenneth, in fact, was
delighted, for he was deputed to take
I.ady Sibthorpe down to dinner. She
was a woman who looked specially
well by candle light and at dinner time.
Her teeth her shoulders, and her dia
monds were proverbial three things
which, added to hor native wit, made
the widow a much-coveted dinner com
panion. Sir Kenneth, indeed, had
never realized how devoted he was to
tier before. And yet there was an ex
pression in Lady Sibthorpe's eyes to
night which lie had never seen there,
and which ho could not quite under
stand.
"I see from the papers that you have
been In Paris tho last few days," she
said, as they ato their soup; "I hope
you have saved Europe one of its ex
crowned heads?"
"To anyone but you I am profession
ally tongue-tied," whispered the doctor,
gallantly. "Her Majesty is now out of
danger. I was, in fact, able to leave
Paris by the 11 train -just in time to
dine here to-night. But X haven't
opened a single letter or telegram."
He kept the talk of the gossip of the
day until he saw the corners of her
mouth give way with a little tired
droop.
"And your article on the hospitals,"
said the doctor, bending his head and
suiiliag at the charming woman at his
side, "X hope you're going to let us
down easily."
"All, my article will be on quite an
other question," said I-ady Sibthofpe.
"I have boei: curiously interested in a
case which is typical of one of the great
problems of modern society. I have
been three times to tho 'Whitechapel'
since that day."
"I wish to heaven you would not run
any such risk I We doctors are hard
ened, you know, but there is always
che fear of infection for delicate wo
men."
"But that poor creature, No. 29?"
"Ah!" sighed Sir Kenneth, frowning
slightly, as he reached out his hand to
ward his champagne glass. "Deal
Lady Sibthorpe, these are terrible
cases. They are cankerous, evils, eat
ing away the very life of our social
system."
"My dear doctor," urged the lady in
lier most "delightful drawl, "you forget
what Mr. Leekv says. No. 29, on the
contrary, is the martyr of civilisation."
"Possibly," replied the physician,
dryly; "but meanwhile—"
"Meanwhile the woman has suo
etimbcd. She diod last night."
There was a burst of laughter from
each side of the table. A well-known
Q. C. was telling the latest joke. In
the pauso that followed Lady Sibthorpo
studied the menu and Sir Kenneth lin
gered some grapes on his plate. How
much did she know? It seemed to him
an eternity before she spoke again.
"I have taken 'No. 29* as a typical
case. The woman seemed to be what
we are now agreed to call a 'morally
deficient' person. Yet, properly trained
and protected, 'No. 29' might now bo
alive, well, and a tolerably useful mem
ber of sofciety. Think of itl That
pitiable woman was barely 40."
"My dear lady," said Sir Kenneth,
slowly, "you have probably only heard
half her story. Do you really know
anything about her?"
"Yes," said Lady Sibthorpe, abrupt
ly. And. as she looked him straight
between the eyes, the doctor knew that
she was aware of the whole story. "I'm
not sentimental," she added, with a
smile, "but I have taken a fancy to
have this wretched creature decently
buried—in some little country church
yard. She shall rest now for good.
Shall I undertake the necessary ar
rangements, or would you perhaps pre
fer ?"
The ladies were rising to go. Bran
don bowed his head.
"I—l think I would rather see to
this thing myself."
Nothing more was said. He sat
down again when they were gone, star
ing blankly at the fruit-strewn plates
a;id the half-drained glasses. Her
crumpled napkin fell across his knee,
and as it fell he saw with a shudder a
vision of a stiff, silent figure in the hos
pital mortuary. He could hear the la
lies' silken trains and high-bred voices
as thoy trailed upstairs. And the doc
tor knew that when that suave, desir
able, but unrelenting woman hud
passed out of the door, she had also
passed finally out of his life.—London
World.
Not Vet Whipped.
A French army surgeon, Doctor Snr
az.ln, writing of his experiences during
the Franco-German war, mentions two
striking Incidents of tho disastrous bat
tle of FroescliwlUer. lie was hard at
work among the wounded In the field
hospital. The French forces had been
routed, and were lu full retreat The
day was lost hopelessly.
Suddenly the Doctor looked up and
saw a little French soldier, with IIIH
kunpsack 011 bis back uiul his musket
In his hand, walking tranquilly up the
street toward the enemy's position. At
that moment a letter-box against tho
wall caught his eye. He stopped, took
out a note-book, scribbled 11 few lines,
folded the leaf, addressed it and drop
ped in into the box. Then lie looked
at the lock of his musket, nnd alone
took up bis march uguiust the German
army!
"What became of that bravo boy?"
Doctor Saruztn asks. "What insensate
courage pushed him thus to the front,
one boy against an army, when thirty
thousand ineu were fleeing behind
htm? To whom did he confide his last
thought? I would gladly have saved
that letter, hut the next morning the
box was gone. The Prussians had car
ried It away."
Hardly had tills boy-hero disappear
ed, when the Doctor noticed six miners
of the! engineer corps, who came up
with pickaxes to make loopholes In the
walls of the buildings. They were 11
little late. There were no longer any
men to put behind the loopholes.
So the miners reasoned, for presently
the Doctor saw them conferring to
gether. Then they put down their pick
axes, took up some muskets and car
tridges, and like the boy before them,
they marched against the German
army!
Ijovcr and Plana.
if would like another room, land
lord," said a mild young man at the
office counter of a private hotel accord
lug to tho Detroit Free Press.
"What's the matter nawY" asked the
landlord, "anybody committed suicide
next door?"
"Worse than that," said the mild
young man; "the next room is the par
lor of a suite occupied by a widow and
her daughter."
"Exactly; you've hit it right the first
time."
"The daughter has a piano."
"Well, do you object to the piano?"
"Not in the least; but wait a mo
ment. The young lady also has u
lover."
"Oh!" said the landlord, "is ho the
obstacle?"
"Let me state the case plainly. He
bought her a new waltz, which thev
practise together every evening, hut
they will never learn it, never!" and
the mild young man sighed.
"Why? Too difficult?"
"Too difficult? No, sir; it's too easy.
It'B called the 'KIBS Waltz,' and at the
end of every bar I hear him say, 'Now
we kiss,' or she suggests, 'Here is more
kissing.' Now, what I want to know
is, why don't they give up either the
music or the kissing? It's the com
bination that's killing me by inchos."
Tho landlord told him that No 13
was the only room vacant, but be said
he'd take the chances, anil moved in.
Too Cheap.
A writer who does not believe much
In the honest Judgment of uinuteurs, In
matters of art, cites the case of an
Amerleau, traveling in Paris, who saw
a picture in a shop window, took a fan
cy to It, and went In to ask the price.
"Five francs," said the dealer.
"That's twenty-five dollars, Isn't It?"
said the American to the friend at his
side. "I'll take It."
"No, monsieur," said the liouest shop
men. who understood some English.
"Five francs, not five louls. About a
dollar, I think, In your money."
MILITARY PARKS.
TIIE PEACEFUL FATE OF FOUR
FAMOUS FIELDS.
The Government. Intent on Preserving
the Scenes ot Gettysburg, Shi 1011,
Aiitlctnin, and ChtckHiiiauga
and Chattanooga.
j V MONO the first bills passed by
l\ the Houso at the present
session was ono making nn
£ appropriation of 375,000 for
establishing a National military park
at Shiloli and another appropriating
320,000 for the dedificatiou, nest Sep
tember, of the park already founded
on the battlefields of Chickaruauga
and Chattanooga, says a Washington
correspondent.
Tlio promptness with which theso
measures tvero acted upon is signifi
cant. Four of the most famous fields
of the Civil Wnr aro now to be pre
served for tho wonder and study of
future generations, and that, too, with
a hearty co-operation and by the mu
tual desire of victors and vanquished on
the field. It is doubtful whether there
is anything qnito like this to be found
in liistorv.
The first field to bo set apart was
naturally Gettysburg, tho plaeo of the
most tremendous battle ever fought
on this continent, ouo fraught with
momentous consequences. A state
ment in Secretary Lnraont's report of
Inst year showed that, besides tho
largo sums expended 011 tho field by
the Memorial Association and other
bodies and by individuals, no less than
$803,017.82 had up to that timo been
contributed by States whoso soldiers
took part in tho battle. Tracts of
Inud have been bought, roads laid
out nud monumentsaud tablets erected.
In this present report Mr. Lamont
says that tho movement undertaken
by troops on both sides, as well as
tho lines which they held, havo been
in the main accurately established,
and, after final verification, tablots
will be placed at points on the flanks
of each regiment in its various posi
tions, while surplus cannon will in
like manner identify tho positions
held by tho batteries. When it is re
membered that 2.10 Union regiments,
with sixty-seven batteries uud 189
Confederate regiments, with seventy
batteries took part at Gettysburg, it
will bo seen how great is tho labor in
volved. The suggestion, however, of
fers itself that care should bo taken
not to overdo tho details, and so con
fuse by needless miuntai a study so
impressive and instructive in its broad
er and more general aspects. It can
also bo understood from tho figures
just given why so largo an expense
has been laid out upon this field, aud
why so many monuments, some of
them costly aud beautiful, mark this
wonderful snot.
Tho Chickamauga and Chattanooga
I'nrk is to tho West what tho Gettys
burg is to tho East. Chickamauga
was tho bloodiest of tho Western
battles, and if Chattanooga iH added
it towers up with a great strategic im
portance. When tho bill for estab
lishing this park was before Congress
tho Houso Military Committee made an
elaborate comparison, basod on the
losses of tho combatants in Napoleon's
great bntiles, such as Marengo,
Austerlitz and Waterloo, and again on
tho losses at Sadowa in 18GG, and at
Gravolotto, Sedan aud other battles of
tho Franco-German war of 1870, so as
to show the deadliness of tho struggle
at Chickamauga. Tho committee de
clared that tho "average IOSBOS on
each side for the troops which fought
through tho two days were fully
thirty-three per cent., while for many
portions of each lino the losses
roaehed fifty por cent., and for somo
oven seventy-iivo per cent." It con
cluded that such a field had "an im
portance to the Nation as an objoct
lesson of what is possiblo in American
fighting."
Mr. Lnmont tells us in his present
report that of tho 5521 acres compris
ing the Chiokamauga and Chattanooga
Park, 2100 have been cleared of under
brush to facilitate the work of tho
States locating tho positions of their
troops, and 000 remain to be cleared.
So yet possibly tho underbrush rather
than tho clearing may best represent
the condition of tho field in 1803.
Roads aggregating forty-ono miles
have been completed. A committee
from the Society of tho Army of tho
Tennessee and twenty soldiers there,
hro expected soon to co-operate with
the Park Commission in establishing
the lines of battle, and Alabama,
Connecticut, Kansas, Maryland and
West Virginia, which also hid soldiers
there, are expecting soon to co-oper
ate. Some of tho lands on Missionary
Uidge and Lookout Mountain, desired
for the park, have been held at such
exorbitant prices that tho commis
sion recommends tho abaudomeut of
efforts to purchase them; but tho
further purchase of about 1000 acres
at Chickamauga is contemplated. Tho
monuments of Massachusetts and
Minnesota, and tho fifty-five of Ohio
havo been completed, as have also the
uino monuments to tho regnlars,
while pyramids of shell mark where
general officers fell. Various tablets
for army headquartors and to mark
corps, division and brigade move
ments are up, aud seventy or moro
guns will denote the position of bat
tories by tke end of tho year. Thus
far the sum ef $G51,710.G3 has been
appropriated for this park alone.
Antietam is tho third great battle
field preserved by tho action of Con
gress for determiningaud marking the
lines of battle. Hero, howover, tho
task undertaken is different. The
battlo was fought on farms, and it is
bolioved that by leaving tho land in
private hands, so that it may bo used
fur farming, tho best method will be
taken for keeping it as it nppeared to
the combatants in September, 18G2.
The same considerations inicrht profit
ably bo kept in mind in the manapjo
mont of tho Gettysburg and Ckicko
mnagn Holds, although there tho es
tablishment of a park requires somo
what different rules. Yet tho pur
poso should bo to keep thorn looking
as nearly as they wero in 18G3, oxcopt
for tho monuments and identifying
marks and tho means of transporta
tion. However, even at Antiotam it
is tho purpose of tho War Department
to acquiro certain lanes and roads
along which tho most severe fighting
occurred, providing tho laud can bo
bought at u reasonable rate, and not
otherwise. Then tablets and markers
on such roads will be set up. Tho
Antiotam sceno was, in fact, occupied
with cleared fields and cornfields, and
tho famous "sunken road" ran from
tho Koedysvillo to tho Hagarstown
pike. It is to be hoped that tho effort
to acquire some of tho old roads and
lanes ut a reasonable price may not bo
bafiled. Still, at present it would not
be correct to speak of tho battlo field
as a park.
At Shi lob, however, a National mili
tary park is contemplated by the bill
of Mr. Henderson, which tho House
has passed. Mr. Henderson explained
that ho and Mr. Black, of Illinois, and
Mr. Wheeler, of Alabama, had under
taken to look after the interests of the
bill, and that options of the land had
been secured at an averago purchase
price of sl2 an acre, whereas tho
Chickamauga Park had cost an averago
of S2B an acre. The bill provides for
a commission, to bo selected from
what wero once known as tho armies
of tho Tennessee, the Ohio and tho
Mississippi.
Thus two great battlefields at tho
East and two at tho West will bo ap
propriately marked for preservation,
assuming that the Shiloh bill is to be
come a law. They will form a remark
able scries of memorials for futuro
generations. Gettysburg and Chicka
mauga wero in tho broadest sense
National battlo fields. Tho former
included troops from Ohio, Indiana,
Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota
on tho Union side, and from Louisiana,
Arkansas and Texas on the Confederate.
Chickamauga and Chattanooga, chiefly
the latter, brought in eleven regi
ments and two batteries from Pennsyl
vania, sixteen regiraonts and batteries
from New York, two regiments each
from Connecticut, Massachusetts and
New Jersey, and an artillery battalion
from Maine.
All four were battles which tho sur
vivors on both sides can look upon
with memories of pride as well as sor
row, and with tho feeling that military
laurels wero won for both parts of the
country.—New Orleans Picayune.
Talking Timepieces.
Thero is no longer any necessity of
aslsiug, "What time is it?" as now the
hour und minute are accurately spoken
by a phonographic attaohmout to
clocks and watches recently dovisod
by M. Hivan, of Geuova. The noarest
approach to this has beon the repeat
ing watches having a striking arrange
ment to givo the hour and minutes.
This is monotonous and too much like
counting the strokes of an alarm bell
to locate a fire. Sivan's watch is froo
from all theso objootions; the pho
nographic sounding plato is mado of
vulcanized rubber with striated fur
rows and a delicato point resting
thereon as in tho ordinary phono
graph. On this rubber plato are
forty-eight furrows, twolvo of which
correspond to tho twelve hours and
thirty-six representing tho quarter
hours traversed by the hands of tho
watch or clock in each circuit of tho
dial plate. Tho traversing point
vibrating with tho sinuosities of tho
furrows translates the vibrations into
spoken words as for instance : "It is
0 o'clock." "It is quarter of 8." "It
is half-past 10," and so on through all
the quarter-hours of tho day. This
rubber plato is only an exact repro
duction upon a plain surface of tho re
ceiving cylinder of a phonograph.
Tho possibilities of such a watch aro
immense. It can wake you in time
for your early trnin or remind you
that you ought to be hungry for your
breakfast, or inform tho long-winded
statesman that ho is wastiug too much
time and money on impracticable and
tiresoino oratory. What a weleomo
convenience such a pocket-piece
would be to tho convivial club man
when in tho weo small hours ho could
gaugo his gait by tho oral passing of
time. Uowover, this phonographic
watch is practical and has come to
stay.—Atlanta Constitution.
Sneezing.
Dr. Scenes Spicer, reading a paper
tho other day before tho Chemists'
Assistants' Association on "Sneezing,"
told his hearers that tho act of sneez
ing has always been regarded as super
natural, and by many races was held
in reverence. Hence arose tho custom,
not oven now altogether obsolote, of
making some remark dirootly after
sneezing. Sneeziug was regarded as
a sign of impending death during the
plaguo of Athens. Muny classical
writers make especial reforenco to
sneeziug, and some supposed thut dur
ing sneeziug dovils wore expelled.
Sneezing itself iB a reflex nervous
action, and js brought about by me
ohnnioal irritation to the ends of the
ncrvo fibers which occur in tho tissue
of the nose. Whon this irritation oc
curs, whethor it bo duo to a foreign
body or change of temperature affect
ing tho tissuo of tho nose, a nerve im
pulse is transmitted to tho brain and
certain ncrvo centres in tho medullu
oblongata ure affected; this results in
certain impulses being transmitted
along tho nerves to tho muscles con
trolling respiration. By this means
tho egress of air during expiration is
delayed, and tho various exits are
closed. When the pressure, howovor,
reaches a limit, tho exits are forced
open, "a powerful blast of air is ex
polled, and tho patient sneezes."—
London News.
OUR BUDGET OE FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Boon Recently Horn—Sayings mid
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able—The Week's Humor.
Let Us Ail Lauzh.
She (innocently)—" Landscape! Na
ture, indeed! Why, It's no more liko
nature than I am!"—Tid-Bits.
She—"And what would you be now If
it weren't for my money?" He—"A
bachelor."—Pall Mall Budget.
"Why so glum?" nsked a friend.
"Aren't you doing n roaring trade?"
"Yea, I am," admitted the bnsno, "but
It Is all on notes."—Cincinnati Tribune.
"But what earthly use Is It to dis
cover the north polo? I can't see."
"It will save future expeditions."—Har
per's Bazar.
Lady—"Are you full of gratitude for
that meal I gave you?" Lane Wnlker
—"Better than that, lady. I'm full of
your splendid hnsh."—Philadelphia
Record.
Papa—"Where did tho count say his
castle was—on the Rhine?" Agnes—
"Yes; on a high cliff." I'apa—"Guess
It's on a high bluff, rather."—Now York
World.
New Boarder (shivering)—" This stove
is too small for this room." Landlady
(kindly)—"So It Is. "I'll have It moved
into a smaller room for you."—New
York Weekly.
Cholly Chumplelgli—"Y'es; gloves are
worn In bed at night to make the hands
soft" Miss Coldeal—"lndeed. Do you
wear nightcaps, Mr. Chumplelgh?"—
New Y'ork Weekly.
"Bcin' funny," said Uncle Ebcn, "am
sumpln' dnt cr man liez ter be mighty
kynhful 'bout. 'Tain' so much In know-
In' how ez 't Is In knowln' when."—
Washington Star.
Little Boy—"How old are you?" Miss
Antique (confusedly)—" You should not
ask a lady how old she Is." Little Boy
—"Oh, 'xcuse me. How young aro
you?"— Good News.
Miss Passe—"Don't you consider it
unlucky to get mnrrled on the thirteenth
of the mouth?" Miss Ilose—"Not so
unlucky as not to be married at all,
dear."—Boston Courier.
"You'll please look over this small bill,"
Exclaimed the dun. The debtor took
It;
And then said he, with weary smile,
"I'd rather overlook It."
—Philadelphia Becord.
"Why do I follow tho vocation of a
wandering tramp?" said the peripatetic
scarecrow. "I'll tell ye, marin. A
tramp don't have to pay no tips to
waiters."—Boston Transcript.
"I would kiss you If I dared," ho said.
"If I were a man," she replied, with a
determined air, "I think I would dure
anything." Just then a cloud passed
over the moon.—New York Press.
"Colonel Spouter claims that tho
women supported him during his cam
paign, if the men didn't." "Yes; his
wife took in wnshlng and his mother
plain sewing."—Buffalo Courier.
Grimes—"l don't believe a woman
could be kept from talking during a t
game of cards, oven with a club."
Grumper—"Certainly not, If It happens
to be a whist club."—Buffalo Courier.
Policeman to Wheelman (who is rid
ing on the side path)—" See here, young
man,you can't ride there." "Can't, eh?
Well, you just watch mo." And lie shot
out of sight.—Tho American Wheel
man.
We see all kinds of books—
Those that are stupid and gay—
But the flattest one we flnd
Is the pockotbook of to-day.
—Chicago Inter Ocean.
"Some women can't believe a word
their husbands say," she remarked.
"Well," confided tho other, "I'm not
quite so badly off as that. My lmsbnnd
talks In his sleep occasionally."—Wash
ington Star.
Nettle—"What did Mr. Knowall wrlto 1
on the card he put in tho basket of flow- '
ers?" Blanche —"Kor the one I lovo
best." Nettle—"The horrid creature
lins bought them for himself."—Chicago
Inter Ocoun.
Eenderson—"Evidently my friends
think I'm smart, whatever you muy
say. I know that whenever I say a
bright thing they remember It for
months." Fogg—"l should think they
might."—Boston Trnnscript.
"I cannot live without you,"
The love-lorn suitor sighed;
"And I could not live with you,"
The wealthy maid replied.
—New York Morning Journal.
Friend—"Mercy! don't that drum nnd
whistle drive you almost crazy?" Hos
tess—"No, I rather like the noise; you
see we are going to move Into the flat
right above the lady who gave them to
Willie."—Chicago Inter Ocean.
Upton—"Don't you think that Mrs.
Wabash was In rather an unseemly
hurry to marry after getting her dl- x
vorce?" Lakeside—"Goodness, no! She
waited until the decree wus brought
to her by a messenger boy."—Buffulo
Courier.
No Use for His Feet.
The first mot of tho new Czar was de
livered upon tho occasion of M. do
Giers's ofiiclul visit to the Emperor, who
received him with tho greatest demon
stration of friendship, at the same timo
expressing the hope that, notwithstand
ing M. do Giers's reported wish to re
tire from ofilec, he would still continue
to work with him for many years. "But,
your majesty, It Is scarcely possible;
look at my feet, they will hardly carry
me." The Czar replied: "I am very sor
ry for you; but as far as 1 am concern
ed, I do not want your feet, I want your
bead."