FREELAND TRIBUNE.
PUBLISH Kl> EVERT
MONDAY AND THUKSDAY.
tTHOS. A. BUCKLEY,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
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Keep the tlgures in advance of the present date,
lie port promptly to this office when your paper
Ms not received. All arrearages must jmJd
when paper Is discontinued, or collection will
be made In the manner provided by law.
ID advertising, always say what you
believe, if you wish people to believe
what you say.
Times are getting distinctly better ID
New York. Dress suits are now being
rented freely at 50 cents a night.
New York is puzzled over the pronun
ciation of the name of the famous vio
linist, Ysaye. Pshaw! That's easy.
If men didn't get sick and tired of
boarding-houses there would be very
few marriages. Stewed prunes drive
lots of victims to matrimony.
"W hat most college young men really
need when they are out celebrating
is some good, competent musical di
rector to conduct the yell chorus.
Outsiders do not perceive the advant
ages of either of the rival cities of Min
nesota. A man's nose is frozen as quick
ly in St. Paul as in Minneapolis, and
vice versa.
The fact that two persons have been
convicted of fraud in connection with j
the claim to the Townley estates will !
not make the English estate swindle j
any less popular with American gulls, j
Jokes and puus are not to be found in
the Bible, the Declaration of Independ
ence or the American Constitution, and
advertisers cannot afford to be very
funny if they wish the public to take
what the}' say seriously.
More frequent mails for country dls
fricts ami their free delivery in ail sot
pod townships, is an issue that will 1101
down. So far as possible the country
should enjoy equal privileges with
large towns and cities. This must be
accomplished even if the expense if I
partially borne by the cities. Tliej !
draw their very life blood from the
country, and their commerce depends |
upon agriculture. National develop I
merit for several decades now has beer
tn a measure at the expense of the rum
districts, until the flow of populatlor
from country to town is pregnant
with grave danger. If the recent elec
tions mean anything, tliey moan thai
the people want government to take
hold in earnest of just such problems
as this that so vitally affect the everv
, da 3' life of our people right here ai
home. Experiments show that rum
free delivery would be very nearly self
sustaining, but ninety-nine out of y
hundred of the American people arc
willing that the postoffice departmein
run behind a few millions a year, il
necessary, in order that the rural re
glons may have more mails and free
delivery. A simpler classification oi
postal matter, a cheap parcel post and
a fractional currency for use in the
mails are also needed to make our puat
office department serve the people an ii
should. Let this issue be agitated tin
til, if the present Congress fails to ac
cede to these demands, they may b<
promptly granted by the next Con.
gress. Fortunately, no partisanship I*
Involved, and it is simply a question oj
the people expressing their desire*
with sufficient force to compel acquits
cence.
Birds in Egypt.
It is delightful to note the lameness of
tlie birds of Egypt. They enter rooms
and houses through windows or en-v
--ices left for ventilation, and. once in
side, hop fearlessly about the floor,
picking up stray crumbs* I have seen
—and the sight was a pretty one—a
sparrow perched on the corner of a
table during the progress of a crowded
hotel repast; and it is not uncommon to
see them flitting across the ceilings of
lira wing rooms at Luxor.
All birds, from largest to the small
est, go unmolested, unless they are
definitely useful for food. The great
"brown kite sits fearlessly on the roofs
of Cairo, hard by his cousin, the crow,
.which is not black, like our crow, but
is black and gray, and might easily be
mistaken for a pigeon. Every garden
jit any rate, in I ppcr Egypt has its owl
•frequenting a tall palm tree, and hoot-
Jug or whistling as Nature guides it
Pearls in Paris."
The leaders of fashion in Paris have
declared that pearls shall be the most
fashionable of all ornaments this win
ter. Strings of line pearls will be
twisted in arid out among the coils of
the hair, a happy revival of the styles
in vogue in the days of Louis Quinze,
when the ladies of France wore their
hair powdered and decked with pearls.
The use of pearls will not be confined
to the hair, however, for they will be
worn in every kind of a necklace, from
a single bow to a wide collar made in
rows of pearls caught together with a
diamond clasp at intervals around the
neck. A long, slender chain of pearls
is another fancy, and this is worn twice
around the throat, forming a kind of
necklace. It falls in graceful loops to
the waist, and is caught at one side of
the corsage by a jeweled pin.
THE TELEGRAPH*
.The darkness .and the silence Ktt
Between your soul anu mine.
Bike some great river rolling b
Beneath a night of stormy sky,
Where not a star may shine.
But, as beneath the sullen brino
'Twixt lands of kindred speech,
There runs a slender, living lino
O'er which there flash,by lightning sign,
The thoughts of each to each,
80. 'neath the parting flood of death
There runs a living lino
Of stoadfast memory and faith,
Of love not born for mortal breath,
Between your soul and mine !
—Samantha W. Shoup, in Independent.
AS IN A LOOKING GLASS.
I SCENE.— Boudoir and toilet of a society
j belle. The belle, who, besides bhing very
beautiful, is still young and fresb. is seated
in front of her dressing table under the hands
of her maid, who is proparing her hair for
' l "° night. On the dressing table arc a mir
| rorand various articles of the toilot.
| |HE Maid—"Made
\f >J moisello was a
> V great triumph to
/ night; no?"
"" The Belle (ab
jvprfc stractedly)—"Yes,
ffISSJ Celeste, I think
jTI The Maid (witli
if I pr de)--"The men
< all fall down and
adore mademoiselle; no?"
The Belle—"No, not all the men.
Somo of them. Enough of them.
(Sighing). Too many of them."
The Maid—"That is good. Made
moiselle has embarrassment of choice."
The Belle—"Yes, an embarrassment
of choice. You speak truly, Celeste.
(Sighing again). It is that which
makes me—but, bah ! why think of it
all? I suppose it is the experience of
all girls like me in society, with a for
tune, a face and a facile tongue.
There! That will do for to-night,
Celeste; I am going to sit up for a
little. I may read and I may write, I
cannot say."
The Maid (horrified) —"But made- j
moiselle has already lost so much of
the beauty sleep."
The Belle—"I am restless. Be- |
sides, if all be true that men have j
told me to-night, I do not need it.
Good night, Celeste."
The Maid—"Goodnight, mademoi
selle!" (Exit maid).
The Belle (alone) —"Fivo proposals
in one night. That is, counting one
that I suppose does not—ought not to
count. Four of them at any rate such
as a girl in her second season should
jump at. As for the fifth —well, I
won't think of it, I mean, if I can help
it I won't. Yet.—but what nonsense !
Let me review the others. First came
old Totterly. Sixty years old ho said
he was. He is eighty, if he is a day.
Worth four millions, ho said. That
part is probably true. But, oh! Let
ns pass on to the next. Philip Eger
ton Denning, the writer and thinker ;
the literary lion of the season. Funny j
ho should fancy me. I like him, too,
myself. I cannot help admiring his
intellect, and I feel that I should
always respect him. Yet—(muses sev
eral minutes, then sighs). Who next?
Oh, yes. (Laughing heartily). I must
not forget him. Lord Tuffnut, the
latest British importation, who did
me the honor to offer mo, with a
monocle in one fishy eye, his title, his
mortgaged estates and the family
tree that, in its time, has borno an
abundance of just such overripe fruit
as he is. Anil for what? My youth,
beauty, and money. Nonsense. Next.
Ahem! The same thing, in a measure,
only of our own manufacture. Tracy
de Puyster Van Treller, of tho most
cerulean of blue blooded Knicker
bocker stock. Truly our country has
reached a wonderful height in her in
dustries when she can turn out any
thing so nearly like the English arti
cle, even to his morals, as Tracy de
Puyster Van Proffer ! There they are,
all of them, labelled to the best possi
ble advantage. All—except Jack.
Poor .lack ! Well, I might as well list
him. Jack Willoughby. Something
down town. Poor as a church mouse,
handsome as Apollo, and true as steel.
Ah, well! (sighing) I suppose I must
not think of him. It is lucky, though,
that somo one interrupted us when ho
proposed, or I might have said yes. I
was overcome with the lieat of the
ball room ; anil when he put his arm
around me, and whisperingly begged
for an answer, I felt so weak, for the
moment, that I don't think I should
have had strength to refuse him. But
somebody came, somebody always
does, and I suppose I am safe. I
promised them all an answer iu a week.
An embarrassment of choice, Celeste
said, (Closes her eyes and thinks.) km
A half hour or more passes, during
which the belle appears to sleep. Sud
denly she opens her eyes.
The Belle—"I must have slept. But
nothing iu my dreams seemed to offer
mo any help. Oh, dear! Is there
anything or anybody that can show
mo what to do?"
A voice—"There is."
Tho Belle (startled) —"Good gra
cious! What was that?"
A Voice—"Don't be frightened. It
was I."
Tho Belle (still more alarmed)
"But who are you? Where are you?"
A Voice—"Your mirror."
The Belle—"But, good heavens!
Mirrors cannot speak."
The Mirror —"Mirrors can do a
great many more things than people |
give them credit for. Wo reflect; i
why should we not speak? That we
can do so is proved by my talking to
you now. I have listened to all you
havo thought and would help you."
The Belle (trembling)—" Was I
thinking aloud?"
The Mirror—"No. But you cannot
think and look into my face without ,
every thought being known to me I
even though I may not reveal what is
in your mind. I want to help you to
decide ynr future. Are you willing,
that I shuld?"
The Belle— "You maun with regard
to—"
The Mirror (blandly) —"I mean
with regard to the live proposals you
received to-night."
The Belle (after a pause) "Which
shall I accept?"
The Mirror—"That I may not tell
you. I can simply help you to judge
for yourself."
The Belle (anxiously) "How can
you do that?"
The Mirror—"By showing you
yourself, your surroundings and your
condition of mind, five years after
your marriage with any one of your
would-be husbands of this evening."
The Belle—"Oh, dear! This is
worse than chiromancy. Wouldn't—
eh—wouldn't it be wicked?"
The Mirror—"Not so wicked as it
would be to marry the wrong man."
The Belle—"I suppose that must be
true. Well, what must I do?"
The Mirror—"First, turndown the
gas. Then place yourself facing me,
and light the spirit lamp of your curl
ing-iron apparatus. Now, take some
of your pearl face powder, sprinkle it
on the flame, and wait. (She does so.
The surface of the mirror becomes
heavily clouded). Which would you
see first?''
The Belle (laughing hysterically)—
"Oh, take them in their regular or
der. "
The Mirror—"Then, Mr. Totterly,
the eighty-year-old millionaire, first.
What can. you see? Speak!" (The
cloud on the face of the mirror gradu
ally clears in the centre, disclosing a
picture.)
The Belle (in a low voice) —"I see
myself, handsomely dressed, covered
with jewels, at an evening . reception.
Many men are ground me offering me
attentions. For some reason T dare
not accept them. In a corner, jealously
watching me, I see Mr. Totterly. He
scowls every time a man pays mo a
compliment. Everything is bright
( around me, but the very brightness
seems to weary me, and remind me of
something lacking."
The (grimly) —"Are you
happy?"
The Belle (shuddering)—" No. Al
though bored to death where I am, I
dread to go home, because I shall be
alone with him, my husband. I see
nothing but .despair and waiting, con
stant waiting for release." (Picture
vanishes).
The Mirror —"You will not forget
that. Now look upon this. (Again a
picture forms). What do you see?"
The Belle—"I see myself again, but
alone. I have been reading, but have
tired of it. There is something I want
to do, something I want to*feel, but I
cannot. In a little room nearby I see
Philip Egerton Denning, my literary,
intellectual husband. He is very busy,
writing. In my utter loneliness, I get
up and go to him. Stooping over, I
gently kiss him on the brow. He
frowns, pushes me away, and tells me
I destroy his ideas. I sign, turn away,
and go to bed."
I The Mirror (ironically) "Are you
| happy?"
The Belle (bitterly) "No. AIJ the
warmth in my heart is gradually be
ing frozen by the cold indiffereuce of
the man I have married. He is too
brainy to lavish any affections on his
wife; his growing fame is more im
portant than domestic ties. Show me
the next."
The Mirror—"Well, what see yon
here?"
The Belle—"Another reception. I
am sitting alone, however, utterly
ignored by the many women present
except in the way of an occasional
supercilious gianco at my gown, or a
whisper to some 0110 else about me be
hind a fan. I think it must be in
England. Some of the women have
red noses, and they all look tired and
I bored to death."
The Mirror—"lt is. It is the fifth
year of your reign as Lady Tuff'nutt."
I The Belle—"I see myself moving
into another room where everybody
is playing cards. His Lordship, my
husband, is there, gambling like the
rest. I tell him J do not feel well and
would like to go home. Ho advises
me to go home alone or amuse myself
in the conservatory. He says there is
too much of his money on the table
to go then. He means ray money. I
have seen enough of this."
The Mirror (mockingly) —"Are you
happy?"
The Belle (sadly) "No, but I am
gradually becoming deadened to my
misery."
The Mirror (as a new picturo ap
pears)— "Now you are Mrs. Tracy de
Puyeter Van Treffer, a member of the
native aristocracy of New York. Can
you seo yourself?"
The Belle—"Yes. I see myself once
more alone. The room is handsomely
furnished; everything looks rich and
good. But I am waiting anxiously
and listening intently. At every
sound I get up and look through the
blinds into the dark night. At last,
as dawn is breaking, a cab drives up;
I hear it. A few minutes afterward
nty husband enters the room. He
scolds me in a thick voico for remain
ing up. A quarrel ends in my burst
ing into tears. He stoops over mo to
kiss me and I nearly faint with nau
sea."
The Mirror —"Are you happy?"
The Belle (fiercely)—" No. I am hu
miliated by his neglect, disgusted
with his manner of life, and harassed
with constant suspicion. I am utterly
wretched."
The Mirror (slyly)—" There is only
one more picture. Do you want to
see it?"
The Belle (confusedly)—" Yes, I sup
pose I may as well. It is probably
like all the rest."
The Mirror (as the last picture ap
pears)— "Then behold ! And tell what
you see."
The Belle (very softly) —"I see my-,
self again. I am sitting in front of a
cosey fire of soft coal, sewing some
thing light. Near me is—near me is
—yes, it is Jack. Mr. Willonghy. I
mean. Ho is talking to me very gay
ly, and I am smiling and listening.
Now the door opens and two children
come bounding into the room ; a boy
and a girl. They want to bid us good
night, they say. They look so mfioh
like Jack they might almost be—al
most be—his nephew and niece."
The Mirror (gently) "Are you
happy?"
There is no answer from the belle,
for she wakes up with a start.
The Belle (after looking earnestly
at the mirror, which is as bright as crys
tal) — "I liavo been dreaming and it is
nearly five o'clock. But lam not sorry.
An embarrassment of choice, Celeste
said. I thought so, too, but we wero
both young. I told her I might read
nndl might write. (Smiling.) Well, I
have read a great denl; I think I will
write a little. (Writes.) *
My Dearest Jack- I don't think I will
keep you waiting a week for my answer. I
am yours as soon as you como to claim me.
ETHEL.
—Life.
WISE WORDS.
A rogue is a roundabout fool
A full jail is better than an empty
one.
Gossip is generally a desiro to get
even.
A drop of ink may make a million
think.
It is a rare mnn who can do a favor
delicately.
You seldom admire a man you see a
great deal of.
Bank and riches are chains of gold,
but still chains.
It is not hard to forgive a lie told
with good intent.
One drop of scandal will spread over
a whole life-time.
What we place most hopes upon
generally proves most fatal.
Everything a man likes to do a
woman can prove is wicked.
The man who knows the worid and
is not a cynic is usually a fool.
An evil intention perverts the best
actions and makes them sins.
In the meanest hut is a romance, if
you but knew the hearts there.
The fools are not all dead'yet, and,
what is more, they never will be.
Every human heart ought to be a
bird cage with a singing bird in it.
Of all virtues justice is the best.
Valor without it is a common pest.
The happiness of your life depends
upon the character of your thoughts.
The wise man expects everything
from himself; the fool looks to others.
The people pay more for love than
for any other necessary evil on earth.
The mora friends a business man
has tho more things he sells below
cost.
The trouble with most people's
economy is that they don't save any
money by it.
The younger a woman is tho more
indignant she is when she hears of a
bad husband.
It is all right to vote for tho conn
try's prosperity, but you must work
for your own.
What is birth to a man if it be a
stain to his dead ancestors to have left
such an offspring?
A Remarkable Fall ot Stone.
M. L. Fletcher, an English mineral
ogist, tells of a remarkable fall of
stones which took place at sotno early
date in the history of Mexioo. He
describes fourteen huge masses in all,
and advances the very likely theory
that they originally formed a single
meteoric mass that was shattered by
the intense heat engendered while
passing through the earth's atmos
phere. Tho fragments of this immense
meteorite are scattered over a section
of country sixty-six miles in length
and twenty-two in width, and it is es
timated that its total weight was but
little short of 20,000 pounds. One
piece of it, now in the National Mu
seum at Washington.—Atlanta Consti
tution.
How Horses Sleep.
When the horse sleeps, one ear is
directly forward, why it is not known.
A naturalist thinks this is to guard
against danger, being a survival of
their original wild habits. He says:
"Watch a horse asleep through the
window of his stable, and make a faint
noise to the front. The ear will be all
attention, and probably the other will
fly round sharply to assist. Now lot
him go to sleep again, and make the
same noiso on one side. The forward
ear will keep his guard, with possibly
a lightning flick round, only to re
sume its former position."—New York
Dispatch.
Tauieil a Pair ol Elk.
A Chehalis County (Wash.) farmer
has lately been creating a good deal ol
interest with a pair of elk which he
had tamed and trained to do mnny
things usually done by horses. A few
days ago a traveler offered him a good
price for his elk, but the farmer re
fused to part with them. The same
night a cougar got into his barn and
ate up one of the creatures.—Chicago
Herald.
"Wroth Silver."
"Wroth Bilver," from the several
parishes ofhis hundred of Kuightlow
in Warwickshire, in England, was col
lected a few days ago by the Duke of
Bucoleugh as lord of tho manor, Tho
custom dates back to feudal times.
For every penny not forthcoming the
prescribed penalty on the defaulter is
$5 or else the forfeiture of a white bull
with a rod nose nd ears.—Chicago
Herald. - "*
'THE MAN OF DESTINY."
STORY OF NAPOLEON BONA
PARTE'S WONDERFUL CAREER.
% Soldier of Fortune—All tlie World
Now Discusses Ills Life and
Achievements.
Everybody is supposed to be ab
sorbed in the first Napoleon just now.
I'lie current interest in him is reflect
ed in the magazines. For reasons as
mysterious as the source of fashion in
slothes, he is the prevailing literary
fashion. Yet how many know the
salient, significant facts in his life?
Well, here they are, as given by the
New York Press.
Napoleon Bonaparte was born near
the town of Ajaccio, on the Island of
Corsica, on August 15, 1769. Tradi
tion credits him with having boon n
child of the people, but thut is not
so. His father was of the nobility
and among the most prominent of
Corsicans, although poor and inclined
to be lazy. His father's home was a
gathering place for political discussion
among the Corsican gentry. His boy
proved to be violent and passionate,
morose and stubborn, lie had a nas
ty temper and was bound to have his
own way about everything. Muskets
and cannon and wooden soldiers were
his playthings, just as they are the
ehosen toys to-day of the children of
Emperor William, of Germany, upon
the eldest of whom the future peace of
Europe no doubt depends.
Napoleon could speak very little
French when, at the age of ten, he
was sent to a military school at
Brienne, where he developed a fond
ness for mathematics and a hatred for
Latin, devoured Plutarch's lives of
heroes who wero not as important in
thesvorld's history as he himself after
ward became, and achieved a reputa
tion for being overbearing and ambi
tious. He was reserved and sullen
and the big boys made fun of him,
while the little ones wero afraid of
him. The stories that ho assumed a
post of dictatorship over the whole
school do not appear to be borne out.
In 1784, when he entered the mili
tary school in Paris, he found himself
moro unpopular than ever. He left
the school when he was sixteen, and,
upon the death of his father, lie bo
camo a sub-lieutenant of artillery.
He took a notion to achieve literary
honors and undertook to writo a book
in imitation of Lawrence Sterne's
"Sentimental Journey."guided there
to by a young woman with whom he
had fnllen in love.
Napoleon's first military battle was
fought, not only against France, but
agninst his native town Ajaccio. He
was twenty-threo then, and had taken
the side of tho rebels in a Corsican
revolt against French rule. He was
defeated, besieged in turn, and hail
to live on horse flesh for three days
before he and his handful of troop 3
were rescued by shepherds. Na
poleon's attack on the town made it
necessary for his mother and the
other children to leave it, so they
moved to Marseilles in 1793, Na
poleon soon went to Paris, where his
Corsican campaign was forgiven in
view of the fact that the Government
needed trained officers, and he was
sent in the same year to tako part, as
a colonel of artillery, in tho siege of
Toulon, which was held by the Span
ish and English.
If Napoleon had been content with
doing only moderatoly well in this
siege tho whole course of history
might have been changed, for it was
his amazing activity, foresight aud
kuowleJgo of military tactics that
were chiefly instrumental in causing
the fall of tho city and in bringing
the young soldier into notice. He
was made a brigadier-general of artil
lery in consequence at the age of
twenty-live, the recommendation for
his promotion being worded thus:
"Promote this young man, for if he
should be ungratefully treated he
would promote himself." That was a
tribute to his genius, ambition and
power of will that makes light of
theorios that his subsequent owner
ship of most of Europe was consider
ably due to good fortune.
Jealousy took root in Napoleon's
success at Toulon, and |lie was soon
afterward thrown into prison on a
charge .'of being in sympathy with
Robespierre. He was released in a
few days, but his prominence had
made him an object of intrigue, and
he found it difficult to get new mili
tary employment. Ho had the blues
and wroto to his brother Joseph:
"Life is an empty dream, soon to be
over with." Ho was completely dis
couraged and impoverished, nnd came
near ollering his services to the Sultan
of Turkey. Ho was ready to fight for
or against anybody.
His opportunity came when tho Di
rectorate, then governing France,
stirred up civil war by trying to per
petuato itself in power. The people
rose against it, and after one general
had tried in vain to put down the re
bellion, Napoleon was called on to
take charge of tho few troops the Di
rectorate had at its disposal. His
brilliant maneuvers at Toulon wero
remembered. In one night he made
his plans, and the next morning, when
the troops of the people advanced on
the Tuilerios they met with a resist
ance that amazed them. Napoleon
had divined their plan of attack, had
prepared for it in the night, and in
one hour of fighting he had won a vic
tory over troops that outnumbered his
own six to one.
He was made a commander-in-chief
for this success, and then, while wait
ing for something to turn up, he met
Josephine Beauharnais, a beautiful
young widow, who came from the Is
land of Martinique. He fell in love
with her and married her in 1796,
when ho was twenty-seven. In the
same year he was given command of
the army that had been listlessly try
ing to whip tho Austrians, who were
contending with France for suprem
acy in Italy. With a ragged army of
25,000 ho moved on 60,000 well-drilled
men with such suddenness and pre
cision that he appeared to have
dropped down from the Alps. He de
feated them, then another army, then
a third, find finally a fourth, and then
I proceeded to Austria to attack the en
emy on their own grounds. He cut,
hewed and slaughtered right and left,
men, women and children were sacri
ficed to his ambition, and at last re
turned to Paris after a campaign of
two years, the conquorer of Italy, the
humiliator of Austria and the cham
pion and hero of France. Nothing
was too good for him, and Paris threw
herself at his feet. He took his hon
ors modestly, and thus saved himself
from the reaction which usually fol
lows Freuch enthusiasm.
In 1798, at the age of twen
ty-nine, Napoleon, who dreamed
of setting up for himself an em
pire in the far East, started
out to conquer Egypt and India. He
failed, but succeeded in making
France believe that the failure was not
ignominious, and returned in time to
take advantage of the topsy turvey po
litical condition of Paris, and to get
himself appointed as First Consul of
France in 1799.
From that time on his career is
more familar to those who are
now making fashionable talk about it,
and it can be sketched in briefest out
line. He undertook to make himself
master of Europe, first by giving
France a better Government than it
ever had before, and socondly by or
ganizing an army with which to hum
ble the enemies of France and to ex
tend his glory and power. Apparent
ly he accomplished the onf
with his left hand while he accom
plished the other with his right. Hie
judgment and energy werebeyond be
lief.
The administrative departments of
France were reformed almost as sud
denly and as surely as the battle of
Marengo, by which supremacy in Italj
was regained, was won at the same
time. Austria, Russsia and Turkey
and England in turn were forced tc
acknowledge by treaty the position of
France among the first class Nations,
and then in 1802 the First Consul, the
idol of France, was proclaimed Con
sul for life, and Napoleon became
practically Emperor.
Two years later, after further re
forms aud incidentally centralization
in the Government and the organiza
tion of many of the institutions of
which France is proud to-day, the
Consul was proclaimed Emperor iD
name as well as in fact.
In 1805 Austria and Russia joined
hands to wipe out Napoleon and
France. The Emperor jumped in be
hind the Austrians, cut them off and
compelled them to surrender, and theD
and there overwhelmed tho Russian?
in the battle of Austerlitz. He prac
tically disintegrated tho Germar
States by the battles fought with the
Prussians at Jena and Auerstadt. He
defeated their allies, the Russians, put
his brother Joseph on the throne of
Spain and then stood forth on the
continent of Europe as tho King of
Kings in 1808. He divorced Josephine
in order that he might increase his
power by marrying the Archduchess
Mario Louisa of Austria, giving his
excuse tho fact that his first wife had
borne him no son to whom he could
bequeath the imperial crown. He an
nexed Holland and Westphalia, and
strove to han-ass British ocean traffic,
helping indirectly to cause the War of
1812 with the United States.
Napoleon's downfall began in 1812,
when he invaded Russia. The attempt
was a fatal failure, and when his army
retreated it was a wreck. In 18W
Russia, Prussia and Austria invaded
France, the French armies suffered re
verses, Napoleon abdicated under
compulsion and hurried away in dis
guise to Elba. He returned to clutch
for the reins of power again in 1815.
He was given his final quietus by the
Duke of Wellington in tho battle ol
Waterloo, abdicated a second time,
and was exiled to the island of St.
Helena, where he died on May 5,
seventy-three years ago.
Slack in His Geography.
A curious incident regarding a straif
occurred during the Russian War. If
would have been ludicrous, if nny
thing can be ludicrous connected witb
war. Commodore Elliott was block
ading a Russian squadron in the Gulf
of Saghalin, on the east coast of Si
beria. Thinking he had the Russian?
in a cul ue sac, he complacently wait
ed for them to oomo out, as the water
was too shallow for him to attack them.
As the enemy did not come out, he
sent in to investigate, and found, tc
his astonishment, that Russians and
ships had vanished. While he had
been wuiting for them in the south
they had quietly slipped out by the
north, teaching both him and the
British Government a rather severe
lesson in geography, as it had beer
thought that Saghalin wasan isthmus:
and they were totally uu aware of e
narrow channel leading from tho Gulf
to the Sea of Okhotsk. —New York Ad
| vertiser.
Pneumatic Postal Tubes.
The pneumatic tubes laid dowr
some years ago between the mair
office in London and the railway
stations have been abandoned because
they were not always reliablo. It sc
happened that when they were most
needed they failed to work and some
foreign mails of tho greatest import-
I ance to the British Government got
I stuck in one of them one day and
missed a steamer. Tho tubes would
be a great convenience if they could
be relied upon, for they carry in twe
minutes the same amount of mail that
it would require a wagon twenty
minutes to carry. The tubes are still
in the earth and will probably be im
proved some time so as to make them
successful.—Chicago Record.
LULLABY.
Dear little girl, good-night, good-night!
The pretty birds in their nests are still;
We watched the sun as he sank from sight,
Over the tree tops on yonder hill.
Two stars have come since the daylight went,
Away over there in the sky's dark blue,
They must be angels that God has sent
To watch my baby the whole night through*
Dear little gtrl, good-night, good-night 1
I hear the frogs in the meadow call;
They croak and croak in tho evening light,
Down in the pond by tho old stone wall.
L think, perhaps, that they tell the flowers
Never to fear, though the world is dark
They know tho firefly lights the hours
All night long with his cheerful spark.
Dear little girl, good-night, good-night I
Dear little lioad, with your silky hair,
Dear little form that 1 hold so tight,
Cozy and warm in the nursery chair!
White lids are veiling the eyes so clear.
Over their blueness tho fringes creep,
Slower and slower I roc c you dear,
My little girl is asleep, asleep.
—Good Housekeeping*
HUMOR OF TIIE DAY.
Only the untried man wholly trusts
himself.—Dallas News.
What nine meu out of ten want is a
home with hotel comforts.—Puck.
A preferred creditor is usually ono
that doesn't fight for prompt pay
ment. —Puck.
These balloon sleeves evidently
come of a desire to widen woman's
sphere.—Boston Transcript.
A man who is a complete failure ia
nearly always particularly fond of giv
ing advice.—Atchison Globe.
It was a junior in the Abilene High
School who wrote "Evening Dawned
at Last."—Leavenworth Times.
An egotist reminds one of a lizard;
lop off a bit of him, he squirms a littio
and straightway grows on again.
Some future generation.
If we mnke no mistake.
Will kick about tho biscuits
That papa used to bake.
—Detroit Tribune.
If you can't remember what tho
string tied on your finger was to re
mind you of, you are getting old.—
Atchison Globe.
"That must bo a very good book
Jumper is reading." "Impossible.
He seems to be profoundly interested. *
—Chicago Inter-Ocean.
A housekeeper up town says her
grocer is so slow with his delivery
that when she orders eggs the boy
brings her chickens. Philadelphia
Record.
Morton —"Are you sure that Peuam
is really reconciled with his wife?"
Crandall—"Yes, lam sure of it, for
she reads what ho writes and ho eats
what she cooks."—Truth.
"They say it is electricity," said Pat,
as he stopped before the incandescent
street-light, "but I'll be hanged if I
see how it is they make the hairpin
burn in the botthle."—Yule Record.
Sympathy—"My lord," said an
overworked parson to his bishop, "I
have not had a holiday for five years."
"I am very sorry for your congrega
tion," replied his lordshij), with a
smile."—Tid-Bits.
Hostess—"l am going to ask you to
take a charming widow down to din
ner. Will you?" Burrows—"Cer
tainly. I'll take her anywhero that
there is a crowd to protect me."—
Boston Transcript.
Loud sobbed tho trump : tun groat wet tears
Left largo and briny tracks.
•Tray what," quoth I. "If not too bold,
Your heart so sorely racks?"
''Alas !' sobbed he. "I've just been told
About this income tax."
—Boston Budget.
Wo often sneer at the Egyptians for
being a slow people, but on the con
trary they must have been a very busy
race. Even tho mummies appear to
have been pressed for tiuie.—Rock
land (Me.) Tribune.
"But, Emma, how can you prefer
the plain and shabbily-dressed Julius
to my elegant and handsome broth
er?" "That is quite simple; your
brother is in love with himself, and
Julius with me."—Life.
"I think Miss Smith and Mr. Jones
must be engaged; they have had their
portraits taken together." "Indeed?
lam glad to hear it. I knew when I
introduced them that she would bo
taken with him."—Now York FxJ33 t
A Huge Moorsp-Hcad.
What is probably one of the finest
moose-heads in the world was taken
to Bangor, Me., this week by G. H.
Crocker, of Fitzburg, Mass. The ani
mal was shot up in Aroostook County
at tho Ox Bow, and the moose weighed
1400 pounds. It is about absolutely
perfect in size, shape and spread of
the antlers. The antlers spread sixty
inches, and when it is considered that
fifty-one inches is a large spread, some
idea of the iminen3o antlers of this
moose is obtained. The largest set of
antlers of which there is any record is
sixty-one inches, and this moose sur
passed that animal in the shape and
formation.—Boston Herald.
Loaf Sugar in Morocco.
An important aiticjo of trade in
Morocco is loaf sugar, which is in
general demand for presents. Every
person approaching a superior, whoso
favor or good will it is desired to pro
pitiate, is bound to bring a gift. Ho
cannot appear empty-handed, and tho
form that is most commonly taken by
the gift is loaf sugar.—New York Dis
patch.
A Storn Disciplinarian.
General Count von Heseler, of the
German Army, is a stern old soldier
and a strict disciplinarian. He has
been known to stop a subordinate in
the street and make him remove his
boots and stockings to see if his feet
were clean. —Chicago Herald.