Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, September 27, 1894, Image 3

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    TIIE COMFORTS OF HOME.
Why Mr. Plumbottlo Doosu't Like
Summer Outings.
In rt Moment of Triumph 110 Tolls Alex
Sweot About Homo of the Things
That Aro Usually Caught at
Fashionable Resorts.
[Special New York Letter. 1
The number of New Yorkers who
have visited health and pleasure resorts
this summer has been smaller than for
many years past, notwithstanding- that
the heat in giddy Gotham has been
simply frightful. The season has been
intensely hot, meteorologically speak
ing, but financially it lias been quite
chilly all over the country. According
to a pat proverb: "Winter sets in when
poverty begins," and this has a great
deal to do with the strongly developed
sentiment that this year there is "no
place like home." I will not elaborate
the points. The average reader knows
precisely what I mean, and the subject
is a very painful one to most of us.
Among those who have discovered
that New York is a splendid summer
resort is the Plumbottlo family, of liar
lem. where I, also, reside. The first
member of the family to arrive at this
sensible conclusion was old Pulsifcr
Plumbottlo himself, lie, however, had
some difficulty in persuading Mrs. Pul
sifcr, her three daughters, and that
gilded youth, Oscar Plumbottlo, to
share his views on this subject. There
was a clear majority against him, but
the rest of the family could not pass
the appropriation bill over his veto.
This is the first year since they were
married that the Plumbottlo family has
skipped its regular outing. During one
year of unusual financial prosperity the
family, after having summered in the
White mountains, wintered in Florida,
where the entire family caine very near
being carried off by yellow fever, and
their pet dog actually was carried off
by an alligator.
The elder Plumbottlo is averse to the
annual outing. lie has protested time
and again against the extravagance
and dissipation of fashionable summer
A STREET CAR CONVERSATION.
resorts, but this is the first year, thanks
to the financial crisis, and the spirit of
insubordination that is in the air that
he has been able to carry his point.
I met him a few days ago on a cable
ear, and we rode together down to the
city hall, a distance of seven miles.
During the trip ho told me all about
his great victory over the allied mem
bers of Ids family.
On taking a seat beside him I ex
pressed my surprise that he was still
in the city.
"It is a little unusual," he replied,
"and the old lady and the girls made n
kick about it, hut I made 'cm realize
that I was the pantata of the family,"
using a word that is very common in
New York since it was coined by the
Lexow investigating committee. It
means "the boss."
"ll<*v about your son Oscar?" I
asked.
"lie cwyed," chuckled the old mrvh,
imitating Oscar's dude dialect, "lie
said that to stay in Harlem during tho
summer was fin dooced bad fawm,
doncher know,'but ho is here all the
same," and once more the bad old man
indulged in heartless merriment.
"And this is the first year you have
summered in New York?"
"The very first. We have been to
the Cutskllls, nnd contracted a new
kind of malaria that bafiled the medi
cal science for several months after
our return. The well water at the ho
tel was stiff with typhoid germs and
other bacilli."
"How about the Adirondacks?"
"We've been there too—splendid
place to get chronic inflammatory
rheumatism, besides, it was there
that a bear walked off with another
one of my pot dogs."
"Nothing of that kind could happen
at Saratoga." I ventured to suggest.
"That's so, but that's the place where
I was steered into a bunco game, and
it cost me S4OO to get out."
"I have always heard that it was a
favorite resort with society people."
"So it is. It was at Saratoga that
poor Oscar came very near being picked
up by a designing society widow, with
her face kalsomincd, and six children
by her first husband in the background.
Such creatures are thicker there than
red ants at a picnic."
"How about Long Branch?"
"Great place to spend money. You
can't steal a side glance at the porter
without paj'ing a dollar, and when you
stump your toe It's a dollar and a half,
If you want a cigar you havo to pay
forty cents for it, and they charge you
ten cents more for a match. If that
man who was going down to Jericho
had been going to Long Branch, ho
might havo congratulated himself on
falling among thieves before he got
there. They didn't understand tho
business compared with tho Long
Branch landlords."
"It is very convenient to Now York,"
I remarked, apologetically.
"I suppose so, looking l at it from a
geographical standpoint, but it is not
very convenient to get money enough
to stay there any length of time."
4 Ms it really so very expensive?"
"I should say so. It is much easier
to get your name in the papers among
the distinguished arrivals than it is to
raise the money to got back homo
with."
"Why not try some western resort,
Mr. Plumbottlo?"
"Wo did saturate our systems with
stagnant pond water, flavored with
carbonic acid gas, at Waukesha for one
entire season, but I didn't relish it
enough to justify being mixed up in a
railroad wreck by going there this
year."
"There arc some very nice places on
the New England coast."
"I've been to Bar Harbor, where it
is a darned sight easier to find the har
bor than it is to discover tho bar. No
Bar Harbor for Plumbottlo."
"There are some nice quiet nooks up
tho Hudson."
"Yes, they have unrivaled facilities
for getting your face swelled out of
FLUMROTTLE LORES IIIS DOG IN FLORIDA.
shape with poison ivy. That's whore
you loop on mattresses that arc hard
enough to be used for a meat block,
and the spring chickens are just about
as; springy as an India rubber teething
ring. They : end their fresh butter to
Now York and give the city boarders
tho stuff that's made in an iron pot
under a fir \ I am getting to bo too
oi l to stan 1 the wear and tear of a
summer campaign. I don't want to
crav. 1 kilo a silent tomb until I have
to."
"But, my clear sir, you should have
iom. c n id i ration f >r your family."
"I:; r "r'vr I to Oscar, when he asked
nr 1 if he couldn't go to a watering
pi: c, I gave him permission to go to
the no : . horse trough."
"But the girls, Mr. Phimbottle—
don't toy n. • I variety?"
"Var.oly moms change, and I haven't
got a::;, change to spare. Besides,
what's the use? They don't get mar
ried, anyhow. There is no end of
riding and boat-rowing, and spooning
behind opaque sunshades, but there
are no permanent engagements. The
simple truth is, Alex, the men at the
summer resorts have been hunted un
til they aro shy. It happens so seldom
that one of them is trapped that it
ought to bo published under tho head
of "Casualties, "
"Then you are not going away at all
this summer?"
"No, I shall stay right here In nnr
lcm, where wo have gocxl beds, good
water and plenty of good stuff to cat,
but I am not going to lead a life of
idleness. I shall keep myself busy at
home, figuring out how much my
friends at the seaside arc indebted to
me. However, toward the close of the
season, I may take the family to Coney
Island, where wo can get a cool glass
of beer with hydrophobia on top, and
Kfe,
.
'O - <
<2?
OSCAR PLUMBOTTLE'FL SEASIDE PERIL.
some salt pretzels at reasonable fig
ures. Well, I must got off, here," and
giving me a wink of intense meaning,
the wicked old man stepped off tho car.
ALEX E. SWEET.
Applying Ills Knowledge*
"Whah yoh git dat chickin yoh's
pickin'?" asked Aunt Seraphina.
"Ncmmind," replied her husband.
"Ef yoh's gwine to bring chielcins
roun' hyar, I kaint see why yoh doan
wait till de folkscs gits 'em cooked."
"Dat shows yer weakness 'bout p'liti
cal eonomy."
"G'long."
"Hit do, sho."
"How do it?"
"Er cooked chickin am In de house,
locked up, but de nat'ral fowl am out
in de henhouse, whah yoh kin git to
'em. All ob which am in accordance
wif the well-known principlo dat do
raw material doan 'quire ez much pcr
tcction ez de finished ahticlo." —Wash-
ington Star.
Shocking to fontomphite.
It was a Cambridge car, and it
had stopped in front of Beck hall.
Mrs, Casey, who sat near the front
door, tackled her bundle of washing
and started to leave by the front plat
form. The bundle was rather large and
decidedly awkward to handle, and
when she reached the street it slipped
from her grasp and fell upon one of the
tracks. She started quickly to recover
it, but a sudden apprehension seized
her and sho stopped. Looking y.t tho
motorman she said, doubtfully: "If Ol
put n.e fut on the track will Oi liov a
shock?" "No, mam," replied the mo
torman, gravely, "not unless you put
your foot on the trolley wire."—Array
and Navy Journal.
FASHION NOTES.
A HAT of black Neapolitan i i wired,
and the wire is covered by u narrow
fold of bluek velvet. The hat is
pinched up at the side, and the trim
ming consists of handsome black
plumes and a bunch of black silk this
tles.
SCENT bottles arc a new fad. They
are in all sorts of elegant designs, one
of the new ones being in shape of a
ripe strawberry in enamel. There are
green enamel leaves, and the seeds nro
of diamonds in one design and pearls
in another.
A LITTLE luce bonnet is an eccentric
ity in trimming. On either side of the
front are very full pompons of plaited
lace from the middle of which perky
. little aigrcts set up about four or five
I inches. The bonnet proper is made of
shirred lace, and the pompons are the
only trimming.
DRESSES of batiste are made with
three or five narrow ruffles edged with
very narrow Italian val lace. The
waists are made in simple fashion,
gathered at belt and collar, and over
the shoulders are lace-edged ruffles to
match the skirt. The sleeves are in
bishop shape, or are made after the pat
tern furnished for the lining in leg-o'-
mutton sleeves, and are then trimmed
with three or five lace-edged ruffles set
on in shingle fashion.
MEDICAL STATISTICS.
ONLY 000 persons in 1,000,000 die of
old ago.
TWELVE Englishmen in every 10,000
die of gout.
FRANCE has 18,000 cases of smallpox
every year.
EUROPE has 383,200 blind, 230,200
deaf mutes.
IN Holland more women than men die
of apoplexy.
OF 10,000 deaths in England 184 ure
from measles.
HEIGHT'S disease is most prevalent in
Shanghai, China.
OF every 10,000 deaths in England 270
aro from apoplexy.
IN 1857 the Russian hospitals had 02,-
000 typhus patients.
DECEMBER is the most fatal month in
the year for asthma.
THE number of persons born blind is
sixty-five to the million.
TWICE as many women as men are
afflicted with ncurnlagia.
OVER GOO new cases of leprosy are
annually registered in Russia.
HYMNS AND HYMN WRITERS.
"LET us with a gladsome mind" was
written by John Milton, when only fif
teen years old.
"OF llim who did salvation bring"
was translated by A. W. Boehm from
tho Latin of St. Bernard.
"How DID my heart rejoice to hear" I
Is by Watts. It was originally entitled
"Going to Church."
"IN evil long 1 took delight" was by
John Nowton. He called it his "spirit
ual autobiography."
"INFINITE God, to Thee wo raise" was
a translation by Charles Wesley of a
part of tho To Dcum.
"ARM of the Gospel, awake," was one
of tho first of Charles Wesley's hymns.
It was published in 1739.
"HE dies, the friend of sinners dies,"
was by Isaac Watts. It IRIS been ma
terially altered by John Wesley.
"WHEN on Sinai's top I see" is from
the pen of Montgomery. It was origi
nally called tho "Three Mountains."
MISSING LINKS.
POLICEMEN in Austria must under
stand telegraphy.
PATTI has a gold watch only three
fourths of an inch in diameter.
OVER 200,000 postal cards are used
every day in the United States.
IN France, Belgium and several other
European countries all elections are
held on Sunday.
CANADA'S divorces for the past twen
ty years havo just been figured up and
they amount to only 110.
THE water that pours over the falls
at Niagara is washing the rock away
at the rate of five yards in four years.
THERE are more artesian wells in
California than in any other stato in
the union. One county claims four
hundred and fifty-seven such wells.
ACCORDING to the Electrical Engineer
there are good reasons for believing
that tho friction of rain is the real
cause of lightning.
FRUIT DUDS.
GREEN currants make good sauce or
pies.
RASPBERRY Jam has no superior among
the sauces.
THE currant is n native of tho north,
perhaps of Holland.
Do NOT have the currants too ripe !
when making jelly; but they must not ;
be green.
IN making raspberry jelly, add con
siderable currant juice; the llavor will
not be impaired.
A CURRANT bush will grow almost
anywhere, and give good returns for '
even indifferent care.
RASPBERRIES arc best when plucked,
fresh and ripe, from the bushes and
immediately used—and so are other
berries.—Good Housekeeping,
POINTERS.
AN electric railway mail service has
been established in Montreal.
AN extension ladder for upper berths
of slceing cars has been devised.
THE brilliance of candle (lame can be I
measured with compasses and calper.;. ;
PINEAPPLE juice is a valuable medi
cine for indigestion and throat trou- 1
bles.
THE two swiftest runners of tho an I* 1
mal creation are tho kangaroo and the i
ostrich.
EARLY Christians inherited their be
lief in witchcraft from their pagan
forefathers.
GREEK national elections are held
every four years. Tho polling places
are churches.
The Trouble with tho Hut.
' At an evening entertainment in this
, city n a recent occasion a gentleman
met a lad of about eighteen years of
i age, and, with some surprise at his
■ recent rapid growth, said: "It is won
: i dcrfhl. Billy, how these boys do grow.
. Now. there's my boy Tom, not as old
as you yet, and so largo that ho can
r wear all my clothes already, except my
hat."
"What's the matter with the hat?"
inquired Billy.
"Oh, it isn't large enough for tho
boy," replied the fond parent.—Albany
Journal.
A Wildly Improbable Fiction.
| j The Police Justice —What were you
' I doing down by the lake front?
Tram pit (tho vugrant)—l was just
J talc in' u bath, yer onner.
The Police Justice (sternly)— Twenty
! days.
Trampit—You ain't goin* to give me
' that sentence for just takin a bath, yer
1 onner?
' The Police Justice—No; for perjury.
Chicago Record.
j Our Superior Help,
i Mistress—lt's absolutely disgraceful,
Mary; the dust Is an inch thick all over
tho furniture! Why, you could write
i your name in it!
Maid—Oh, no, mum; 'deed I couldn't,
mimf!
Mistress—But you can, I tell you!
Ilow dare you contradict me!
Maid—Hoggin' yer pardin, but if I
was to die this mlnit I couldn't—l
never learned how.—Truth.
i
A Tereo Definition.
Mrs. Sauers (to Willy, as minister
calls to sec Mr. Sauers) —Willy, is your
i father in?
Willy—Yes. lie's up stairs going
over your scrap-book.
Mrs. Cuucrs (puzzled)— Scrap-book!
You mean my family account book.
Willy—Well, it's all the same! lie
and ycu always have a scrap every time
he goes over it.—Puck.
frtudy In Psychology.
Mrs. Bloom—Did you over notice how
hard it is to keep from laughing on sol
emn occasions?
Bachelor Bounce—Once.
"I thought likely. Nearly every one
lias such experiences. Tell me about
yours."
"It was the day I was told that the
baby no::t door was dead."—N. Y.
Weekly.
TOOK COLLATERAL.
Churlio Debroko—l suppose, Miss
Boxy, that you arc aware that for somo
time 1113' heart has not been in mj' pos
session?
Miss lioxy—Why, Mr. DcDroke, I bad
no idea that you could borrow money
on that] — Brooklyn Life.
An Olil Acquaintance.
A dissipated old man applied at tho
quartermaster's otllco in Sun Antonio,
Tex., for a position as cleric.
"Do you know anything about gen
eral management of the offices?" asked
the. officer.
"Do I know anything about Gen.
Management? I should smilo. 1 knew
him when he was a lieutenant."—Texas
Siftings.
Eve In Embryo.
"Iluh!" exclaimed tho first little girl,
after sho had hoard tho story of the
fall of man, "tho serpont couldn't
tempt mo with an npplo. I don't like
apples."
"But," argued the second girl,
| "s'posc somebody told you not to oat
: apples."—Dotroit Tribune.
Setting Matters Riglit.
I Mrs. Ciimso (to her husband) —Do you
think it is quite tho rosthotio thing to
i wear a flower in your button-hole and
n cigarette in your mouth?
Mr. Cuinso—l'm glad you called my
attention to tho impropriety. (Throws
away the flower.)— Judge.
Another nold Texan.
A young married couple from Texas
wore doing Niagara Falls. They were
being conducted under tho Falls by a
i guide.
"You must take care now, for if you
, let your foot slip you will bo lost."
"Jane, you go on ahead," said tho
man from Texas.—Texas Siftings,
An Exception.
Teacher—Plants thrive only in sun
i light, do they not?
Smart Pupil—Not all of them.
"Can you name an exception?"
"Yes'in. Ail electric light plant."—
Arltansaw Traveler.
Obscure.
Olilbonrder—You oupht to get a filter,
madam.
Mrs. Wlsftkhonrd (tho landlady)—
V.'hy? I thought the water was remark,
alily clear,
j 01dl>:.arder—So it is; I referred to the
| ro.:;).— Brooklyn Life.
Necessity Known No Law.
! Sho—l hope you didn't leave your
heart behind you at the seashore.
Ho—No; something far more impor
tant.
She—What Is that?
He—My trivuk- —Puck*
MISS IDA B. WELLS.
A • mine Colored W<>. > ui' Ex
ponent U t. i ;laml.
Miss Ida 11. Wells is the young col
c iv I woman of Memphis who iias just
returned from the second of two re
markable tours in England, where she
endeavored, with marked success, to
arouse a public feeling- which would aid
her in this country in her crusade
against lynching. One of her most
I successful and significant efforts in
this direction was that by which she
induced the labor organizations of the
grout manufacturing centers, Leeds
and Bradford, to pass resolutions to the
effect that they would dissuade their
class from emigrating to the southern
states until negro lynching should
cease. Everywhere she was received
MISS IT>A B. WELLSJ M. A.
with (treat consideration, "it was,"
she said, in speaking of her experiences
in England, "like being born again in
a new condition. Everywhere I was
received on a perfect equality with the
ladies who did so much for me and my
cause. In fuet, my color gave mo some
agreeable prominence which I might
not otherwise have had. Fancy my
feeling when in London I saw the lady
mayoress taking a leading African
prince about at a garden party and evi
dently displaying him as the lion of
the occasion. I forgot while there that
I had ever lived whore I was subjected
to the indignity of being obliged to ac
cept inferior hotel and railroad accom
modation because I was colored." The
deepest interest was shown in her and
In her work. Whatever effect it
may have on the ultimate object at
which she is aiming—that of protecting
her race in the south against lawless
ness—sho certainly succeeded in her im
mediate purpose of arousing public
sympathy in England. Mas We 11..,
who is now in Now York, whore she
recently arrived from her trip abroad,
brought with her bulky flies of English
papers containing strong editorials in
favor of her agitation and many inter
views with her. The London Chroni
cle of April 23 contains a two-column
interview and the Lancaster Era con
tains a two-column report of her dis
cussion which 1h very favorable to her.
The London Daily News of June 15
contains a half-column leader equally
strong and favorable to her cause. The
llristol Mercury of April 13 contains a
long account of her lecture in that city,
over which llcv. 0. A. Sou-tor, vicar of
St. Silas, presided, and In this way
throughout Great Britain her work
was noticed.
CABRiLLO'S BONE 3.
A11ki1 Discovery of the Skeleton of the
Spanish Adventurer.
For years an Interesting dispute has
been going on between Snnta Barbara
and Santa Oatalina, Cal., as to which
belonged the honor of furnishing the
Inst resting plnee for the bones of Juan
Cabrillo, the Spanisli adventurer who
discovered the islnnd anil harbor of
Santa Catalina three hundred or so
years ago.
A recent event, however, seems to
throw the burden of proof on Santa
Barbara. The matter lias been kept
secret for some time, says the San Fran
cisco Examiner, but the facts are that
a grave was found on the island of
Santa Catalina that was so evidently
that of some person of importance that
the discoverer notified the owners of
the island and the remains were taken
out almost complete. The body was
evidently burled with as much pomp
as circumstances would permit. The
head was laid to the north, and in it
was a heap of shell beads, cut with
great labor from tho shells found on
tho boneh, several beads of uhalone
being among them. Near by was a
flno stone mortar and pestle, an Indian
paint pot and various objects which it
TIIE MYSTERIOUS SKELETON OF SANTA
CATALINA.
was customary to bury with the dead
as a part of the ceremony. There was
also an ax of Spanish design or shape,
with the broad blade common 300
years ago; also a knife. These had
been carefully wrapped in cloth which
had long since disappeared, as had also
tho woden handle; but the texture of
tho cloth was still to lie seen on the
nx. Near one of the hands was a round
copper button,Tsimilar to those used by
the Spanisli gallants, and various
articles common to the Spanish of long
ago. From the care evidently taken
at tho burial it would appear that tho
deceased was n person of distinction.
it is believed by tho advocates of the
Cabrillo theory that the body was
buried there by tho crow of the vessel,
and that tho friendly natives, wishing j
to shotV their respect, deposited in tho ;
grnvo a number of objects according to |
their custom.
Victoria's I ul Can*.
Quoen Victoria's walking stick is nn !
Interesting one hist -ideally. It is made
of oak, cut from tho famous tree of
Boscobel that sheltered her ancestor 1
Charles 11. after the battle of Worccs- I
tor, /\s a handle it has a quaint little :
Indian idol, which her majesty received j
from tho spoil of Scringnpat&tp
j What is
Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants
and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morpliino nor
other Narcotic substanee. It is a harmless substitute
for Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor Oil.
It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by
Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and allays
fevcrisliness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd,
cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. Castoria relieves
teething troubles, cures constipation and flatulency.
Castoria assimilates the food, regulates the stomach
and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas
toria is the Children's Panacea—the Mother's Friend.
Castoria. Castoria.
„'' Cft T ri r ls T " Castoria is so well adapted to children that
i. o lers avo l M . !a y fold mo of its I recommend it ossuperiortoauy proscription
good effect upon their children." known to me." '
DR. a. C. OgaooD, H. A. ARCHER, M. D.,
Lowell, Moss. 11l So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. Y.
■' Cnstoria Is the best remedy for children of " Our physicians in the children's depart
which lam acquainted. I hope the day is not ment have spoken highly of their oxperi
fnr distant when mothers will consider the real ence in their outside practice with Castoria,
interest of their children, and use Castoria in- and although wo only have among our
Btead of the various quack nostrums which are medical supplies what is known as regular
destroying their loved ones, by forcing opium, products, yet wo are free to confess that tho
morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful merits of Castoria has won us to look with
agents down their throats, thereby sendiug favor upon it."
them to premature graves." UNITED HOSPITAL AND DISPENSAR*,
Da. J. F. KIVCHELOE, Boston, Mass.
Conway, Ark. ALLEN C. SMITH, Pres.,
The Contour Company, Ti Murray Street, New York City.
We Impart a thorough knowledge of the COMMERCIAL STUDIES at the cost of less
time and money than other schools. THOUSANDS owe 1 heir success In life (so they say)
to the training they received here. We made HKEAD-WINN KltSof them. We want you
to know us; write ami we w ill mil v.u 11 about this 1,1 VK St 1 lO( >h. N. It. WeasMst grad
uates t PALMS BUSINESS COLLEGE, 1908-ITIO Clicitniit St., PHII<A
"VfOTrCE. Notice is hcrubj r ivi ntl at the
- > SIII'ITX i">"is of Post! I t )\x whip im\ •
applied to the court <>l quarter • SNIOUS, l.u -
erne county, it i s,.proud., r lenn. I .<!. tor a writ
ot nmndumus to direct the proper ollieer by
special taxation t.. I.v\ and collect -utlicient
amount to pay oil the present indebtedness of
said township. October , Wd, at 10 o'clock a. !
tu., has been appointed as the time for hearing.
( has. Orion Stroh, I
Attorney for supervisors, i
Fortunes Made and Saved
by following the advice of the
JVail Street Daily News,'
(established 18711)'
it- speculating o investing in
Railway 3xcks and Bonds.
Subscription. $.- per >etr. Sample copies 1
I fee. Address 11. Mr riin lli.u k, <"litor. No. P
Exc ia.i: e I■. • . .\. V.
Mm
l Caveats, and Trade-Marks obtained, and all Pat-i j
ient business conducted for MODERATE FEES. # I
I OUR OFFICC IS OPPOSITE U. S. F'ATENT OFFICE' .
J and we can secure patent ia less time than those J
* remote from Washington. 4
f Send model, drawing or photo., with descrip- *
Stion. We advise, if patentable or not, free of t
#charge. Our fee not due till patent is secured. 4
I A PAMPHLET, "How to Obtain Patents," with'
J cost of same in the U. S. and foreign countries jj
gsent free. Address, 4
jC.A.SNOW&CO.:
5 OPP. PATENT OFFICE, WASHINGTON, D. C. #
Complexion Preservßd
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