The Mont Plenannt Way Of preventing the grippe, colds, liea-lnches and fevers is to use the liquid laxative remedy, Syrup of Figs, whenever tho system needs a gentle, yet effective cleansing. To ho benefited one must get the true remedy manufactured by tho California Fig Syrup Co. only. For sul by ail druggists in fjOc. and $1 bottles. In Austria there are 1,85),000 savings bank depositors. " 1 BROWN'S Bronchial TROCHE* ' are ex oellent for tho relief of Hoarseness or Sort Throat. They arc exceedingly effective."— iJhrustuin Bond, JLumlvti. Enu. Peru has but 30 telegraph offices in the utire country. p _ :DUTY PUBLIc' "* felt it a duty to the public to send th?i certificate. 1 had t tie grip in the winter of'9l •nd '93 so severely that it deprived me of tin Use of try arms so that my wife had to dresi end undrt ss ine. 1 tried live doctors and not one aoc mi pi.. shod anything. Then i deter mined to try Hood's Sarsaparilla Before I had taken one tot tie 1 had the use oi jny arms, thank God. These are facts and caa be verified by many persons here. lam psstoi •of tho M. K hurch," ('. W. CI.ARIIAM, Churl) Creek, M-1. C. t <.lll> 11,, ,|v. IIOOII'M Pills ai tho bunt after-dlnu, r illlg. " P N U 4 'O4 Thin Children Grow Fat on Scott's Emulsion, fat food They are thin, and remain thin just in proportion to their inability to assimilate food rich in fat. Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil is especially adaptable to those of weak diges tion—// is partly digested already. Astonishing how quickly a thin i person gains solid flesh by its use! Almost as palatable as milk. Preparnd by Scott ,t Botvne. N. Y. All dmggintn. WALTER BAKER & CO. (7h COCOA ond CHOCOLATE Highest Awards World's Columbian iHkIV ° n ,the fullowlu ® arUcle# a Mil bbkakfast COCOA, ffl PIPfIPREMII'III So. I tItOCOLATE, 19! WvSMiKJIAS SWEET CHOCOLATE, ra I M [ifiVAMLLA CHOCOLATE. Hal COCOA BITTER, For ••purity of material." •'excellent flavor." and "uni form even conipositiou." •OLD BY GROCERS EVERYWHERE. WALTER BAKER & CO., DORCHESTER, MASS. a H| T a source of much H am I 9 Buffering. Tho system UrvtU should bo thoroughly cleansed of all Inipur ■H rifc an Ktn || j J Our Rook on Hlcorl And Skin HBS I B MH P(JRE THE WONDERFUL MECHANICAL SPELLER. /Ota PIANO MOVEMENT BEAUTIFULLY FINISHED. /. aft*'] c The Child's Be6t Teacher Have you seen it? Older folks will find tt very fiW .( h ftt amusing. Would you like 1 '! v\ one? For SI.OO wewffl AflfilFSMl ■' Big send to JOUr ftdJress ' ILeNHIs f Y KINDERGARTEN MFG. CO ' ■PTIY> CAT 026 Sansom Street. ■fceHlf® Philadelphia. P4 1,000,000 A DCLUTU RAILROAD COMPANY In Minnesota, fc'eud for Maps and Circus lars. They will be Lent to you FREE. Aidraa HOPEWELL CLARKE, Ind Commissioner, St. Paul. Mina A THE WALL PAPEB MERCHANT V 111 Til SELLS THE BEST, Oml 111 THE CHEAPEST WALL PAPER (iood Ppcr*3c. nnd ATCMTQ—'TIIOMAS r. NIMPHON, IIA I til I O Washington, I). C. No aty's fee ■ until I'ateut obtalued. write for Inventor'M Uulde FOII HAIJKI'II KA I'. Oue 25 U.P.SdtlHldlerand 1 McNttniar engine; l, H H.l'.scheidlor traction en Sne; 1 Seheldlor awmlll: I Huber Sena rut or. Writs r particulars. J.U.Cainpbell, N.CuniiHrland, W.Va. IJTa rp IA V 'IV I lnl,i M v, ' us Kv "iiinuti ,11 A 1 TiiN I O.iUHI U.I Vice Ji, to patentability of Invention Send for lutcutorxlUttlde.or how t<.t $ potent. PATRICK - • lUPKI l„ W ASUiMUTos, D.o. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BT THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Human Nature—To lie Expected— ••When Greek Meets Greek"— Woman's Itlglits, Etc., Etc. "Man wants but little here below" Is soothing as to sound. But doesn't count, most people know, Wben pay-day comes nroun J. —Washington Star. TO BE EXPECTED. Cliolly—"Yaas, wo missed each other iu the crowd." She—"That's just like her. She's always losing things."—Life. THE RIGHT AGE. Sarah—"She's worth a million, nnd just the right age for you." Jerry—"Any girl worth a million is the right ago for me."—Detroit Free Press. "WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK." Wife—"There's a- burglar going through your pants." Husband (unconcernedly)— "You two fight it out between yourselves." —Puck. WOMAN'S RIGHTS. He—"Will you be my wife?" She—"No." He—"Ah ! May Ibe your husband?" She— 4 'That's different."—Detroit Free Press. WHAT AILED HIM. "What's the matter with your fun ny man? Is he mad?" "Oh, no," answered the editor. "He's just out of humor."—Atlanta Constitution. DECLINED WITH THANKS. Miss Spinster (to small culler) — "Will you have some tea?" Small Caller—"No'm, thank you. Mamma Hays if I drink tea I'd be a sour old maid, like you."—Good News. A DISMAL PROSPECT. "Do you ever have to mind the ; baby?" "Not yet, but I s'posc I will when she gets older, that is if she's got any of her mother about her." —Atlanta Constitution. SELF-SACRIFICING. "Papa, it is our duty is it not, to | provide for the unemployed?" "Yes, my dear child, so far as we j tire able." "Then it is clearly my duty to marry Willie Waffles."—Chicago Record. A FATAL MISTAKE. Henderson—"You say you are broke. Ask your friend Collins to lend you a few dollars." Williamson "lt's no use. The oth- I er day he told several of us fellows a ! jdko and I forgot to laugh."—Truth. AROUND AT THE RIGHT TIME. Angry Father —"How was it, young ' man, that I saw you kissing my daughter iu the hall last night?" Youug Man—"T suppose, sir, be cause you happened to be around just at the right time."—Kato Field's Washiugtou. ALWAYS GET THE BEST. Mrs. Youngluv (at the grocor's for the first time) —"I want some egg plant. " Grocer —"Yes, ma'am." Mrs. Youngluv (severely) —"And I j want some that is fresh laid, too."- | Chicago Record. THAT SETTLED IT. He- "You seem to be thinking hard ?" She—"Yes." He—"Of me?" She—"Why, Mr. Timmid? I just couldn't think hard of you."—lndi anapolis Journal. TOO HOMOEPATHIA. Mamma—"Now, listen, Freddie ; the j doctor said that it wks that little bit of candy you ate last night that made you sick." Freddie—"Well, you know how I asked you over and over to give me n a whole lot."—Chicago lntcr-Oceau. CRUELTY TO INFANTS. "How did it happen that Biggs was arrested by an agent for tho S. P. C. C. ?" "Ho was caught in the act of abus ing his baby." "What was he doing?" "Singing it to sleep."—Chicago lu tec-Ocean. INCONSISTENCY IN HIGH PLACES. First Tramp—"These Fifth avenue | people are very unreasonable with us." Second Tramp—"Yes; never give money, nnd lecture you for being dirty." First Tramp —"And yet, when I tang and asked for a bath only, I was refused."—Life. ONE ON THE GAS MAN. The gas man called on the dentist to have a tooth extracted. "Do vou want to take gas?" asked the D. D. S. "How much will it require?" "Oh, don't worry about that; I'm uot going to measure with the meter you use on me." —Detroit Free Press. HOW HE CONTROLLED THEM. Visitor—"How beautifully still the children sit while you talk to thorn." Sunday-school Superintendent "Yes, I've got them pretty well trained. I told them right at the start that every time 1 caught, a boy squirming around in his neat while 1 was rnaking a speech T would talk ten minutes longer."—lndianapolis Jour nal. A UTTLE SET BACK FOB HIIR. The question of ages and the ability to guess them had como up, and Mr. Smartly announced that he could tell anybody's ago by just looking at them. "Do you want me to tell yours?' he added, turning to Miss Antique. "Mo," she said, coldly,."there is no use of your telling it to me ; I know it myself."—New York Press. DISAPPOINTING. "Sister," said the little boy, "will you please make me a lot of biscuit, like those you gave us for breakfasf the other day?" Sister was touched. They were thf first cheering words Johnnio had spoken to her in a long time. "Cer tainly," she answered. "Are you go ing to have a party?" "No; I want to try them in my new slung-shot."—Washington Star. ONE OF THOSE POSERS. Physically little 'Liz'beth was in the bath tub; but her mind was soaring into infinity, as it has a very uncom fortable habit of doing. "Why are you keeping your eyes shut?" asked her mother. " 'Cause I'm trying to think of some thing." "What are you tryiug to think of?' "Of how things looked before tho world was made."—Washington Star. , NO SENSE AT ALL. New Boy—"I tried to sell a woman one of them cheap clocks while you was out, but she wouldn't take it'eaust it didn't run." Notion Dealer—"How did she know it wouldn't run?" " 'Caase I wound it up." "You ain't got tho sense of a last year's bird's nest. Them cheap clocks aiu't meant to be wound up till tho customer gets 'em home."—lndianap olis Journal. WASN'T SO AWFULLY DEAF. An instructive dialogue is reported to have taken place at the opening day I of the Sussex assizes, j A juror rose iu the box to ask to be ! exempted from service on account o) deafness. "Are you very deaf?" said the judge in a low tone. | "Yes, my lord," was the prompt re ' ply "You had better be sworn," said thf j judge.—London Globe. A PHILOSOPHICAL MILLIONAIRE. j Attorney—"lf you leave all youi property to your second wile youi children will certainly try to break your will." Rich Client —"Of course. That's what I want them to do. I want them J to have their full share of my money.' j "Then why bequeath it all to youi ' wife?" | "Well, you see, it will be easier foi I my children to break my will than il is for me to break hers."—New York | Weekly. RATHER SEVERE. She is the brown-eyed girl whe works in tho telephone exchange, and he is the young man who is sometime! more energetic than courteous. "Hello, Central," lit called the other day. "This is the second time I've called you. Have you been asleep?" "Yes," she answered, sweetly, "1 have, and I had such a strange dream. I thought I heard a voice from the in fernal regions, nnd awoke just in time to hear you calling, 'What number?"' LIGHT WANTED. The professor of the chair of politi cal economy had talked to the class an hour and a half. "I have tried to mnko this whole question of the tariff perfectly plain to you," he said, wiping the perspira tion from his glowing face, "and I trust 1 have succeeded. Still, if there should be some among you who desire further light on this matter lam ready to auswer any questions you may ask." "I think I understand tho most of your lecture, professor," spoke up a deeply interested young man on tho front scat, "but I'd like to know whether this Ad Valorem you've been talkiug about is a man or a woman." —Chicago Tribune. Artificial Maple Sugar. Decoctions or extracts of the wood or bark of trees are frequently used for flavoring sirups or sugars. Dif ferent extracts differ in taste. The hickory tree, it is said, yields an ex tract that will impart the flavor of the maple, and Daily's method of pro ducing artificial maple sirup of sugar is as follows: Make an extract of hickory bark or wood by allowing water to percolate through the same. The bark or wood may be ground, or sawdust therefrom used. Hot water may be used, or the material boiled in water. The strength of the extract may be increased by increase of the quantity of the wood or bark. To our gallon of hot or boiling sugar sirup add, say, three tablespoonfuls of ths hickory extract. It is said the effect of the extract is to produce a flavor that renders the sirup indistinguish able from tho genuine maple sugtu. If the sirup is boiled down, a sugur resembling maple sugar in taste is produced.—London Public Opinion. A Lay of the Times, Oh ! they arc wise Who advertise In winter, spring And fall; But wiser yet Ar. f I ley, you l.ef, Who never |t up A! all. -cinolniiall Tribune The Astor women have $3,000,000 ia jewels. Braids come in all shades for trim mings. Teagowns are of light colored vel veteen. Petticoats are made of striped silk and velvet. Heavy white satin is seen with a sort of ground-glass effect. The leading florists of San Francisco and Cleveland are women. Curled cock's feathers are used a great deal on black hats. Fancy handles of fans are extensively adorned with gold fleur-de-lis. France has had sixty-seven queens, of whom thirteen, an odd number for luck, led happy lives. Golden cornelian is heard much of. Abroad it appears in everything, from match boxes to brooches. In Brooklyn, N. Y., there is ahorse shoeing establishment that is owned and run successfully by a woman. Twenty-two spinsters are numbered among the inhabitants of the Cherokee Strip. They have located their homes. Velvets and bcngalines will be used for coats, and so will cloths, the new est of which are rough cheviots in plain colors and in mixed effects. Pearls, black, white and pink, of unique beauty of shape and color, are worn set bud fashion in a tiny cup of brilliants as ornaments for the hair. A Swedish woman lias hit upon a i new field for women's work. She, has started in business ns an analytical chemist iu a town which is the centre of the mining industry. New gloves in prune, navy blue and j bottle green have moderately heavy stitching, ending at the wrist in fancy scrolls. Large buttons in horn or nickel are in high favor. Jet in every form will bo more iu ; vogue than ever—crowns, bands, aigrettes, buckles and sprays being eagerly sought for hat and bonnet decoration by both young and old. Miss Fareedi Flutie, of Bayrout, Syria, lias presented to President Cleveland a portrait of himself made in mosaic in Damascus. It took four months to complete it, and cost SSOO. White silk hose intended to accom pany rich bridal costumes have "real" lace inserted over the instep or a lace i .effect woven in. The silk is beauti- i fully fine and the lace handiwork truly exquisite. Mrs. Flora Kimball selected and superintended the planting of trees on seven miles of the streets of National j City, Cal., by request of the Super visor, who deemed her the most com petent person in the place. There is positively an epidemic of moire antique raging in London. You may have it in black or in mother of pearl tints, in combination of blue hnd green and brown or heliotrope, j but have it you must if you would be in the fashion. The new bAsket-plaited Fulalie coiffure is worn with a high Spanish comb set with Irish brilliants. Often j this comb is set in sideways in coquet- i tish fashion. To some women this is becoming, but to others it is little short of ridiculous. Glovesaregrowing longer. The short sleeves are pulling them up the arms. All the shades of red and brown are worn in the dogskin and heavy kid walking gloves, while suede and glace kid dress gloves are in colors to har- 1 monize with the costume. llosa Bonheur is still painting in her quaint study near Fountainebleau, j France. She is now an old woman, I small, sunburned and wrinkled as a ! peasant. The grey hair is cut short and is still thick. As she wears a \ blouse she dons a cloth cap. Mme. Fateno, wife of the new Japanese) Minister, likes American dress, with the exception of corsets. 1 She is trying to accustom herself to them, but finds it very hard to sit on the floor gracefully and comfortably, : as she cau in her national garb. A letter holder is made of a square of cardboard covered with dull, dark green silk. To this is overhanded n cloverleaf piece of cardboard covered with a somewhat lighter shade of the silk and sewed at three sides so that ! the letters may be inserted at the top. ( There are ladies who would be j strongly tempted to turn back if, while on the way to church to be married, they should happen to meet a funeral, and others who would be almost as greatly shocked on seeing a black cat ' or a crow, both of which animals are known to be unlucky. Mrs. N. E. Bronston, of Atchison, Kan., has been setting type for forty- ! three years. She learned her trade in | her father's office, in Newport, Kv., j beginning when she was twelve years | old. She has been pare owner of one or two newspapers in her day, and has set type in many offices in Kansas. A new career has been opened to German women by the foundation of a I school of decorative art in Berlin. At a moderate feo girts receive instruc tion in all branches of the decorative industry, such as arrangement of cur tains and draperies, the manufacture of fringes, pattern drawing, etc. The course lasts from four to six weeks. Miss Roberta Ackerly Ims been ap-i pointed by Hon. John Paul, Judge of the United States District Court of the West District of Virginia, deputy clerk of the courts at Lynchburg. This is the first instance of a woman filling such a position in Virginia. Miss Ackerly has for some years been a copyist in the offices of the Circuit and District Courts. A "Well Trained Out, I I once had some cats which really could be taught to do anything. I They were white Iceland maltose, and their eyes were as blue at the &kics in June. Unlike others of their species, they dearly Ipved to play in water, and they would apend hours fishing chips out of a pan of water. One of thom, Jab©*, was a regular John Sullivan of a oat. He would fight anything and everything. ! The only safe way to take him out was in a bag. I had one made with perforations which I carried on my arm and in which 1 saw something which 1 fancied he might possibly think he could fight, when, as a measure of safety, I would bob his j head down and tighten the draw i string. He knew his bag as well as I dil, and when ho wanted to go out he. would go and take it down, bring It*io me and sit down and look wist fully first at the bag and than at me. Another trick of this intelligent creature was, when wc were In the park, where he dearly loved to go, to' run to a flower bed, hit off a blossom and bring it to me. As these Ice land eats are the most desirable of household pets, It is a pity that it is ilraost impossible to keep them any length of time in this climate. Like trout, they require a low tempera ture. Anything above sixty-five de irrces is unfavorable to them.—lnter view in Chicago Herald. Ooktng and Throat Diseases. Specialists on throat diseases are begining to take unusual inter et in culinary methods. They advise a kitchen quarantine on wash days and boiled dinner days, giving as a reason that the steam from boil ing clothes and \ ickled meats that rc uire much heat produces many ili ne so* of the respiratory o gans and aggravates slight or chronic disea-cs of the nose, throat, and lungs. Pa. lient* are ad ised to >acate apart ments having da k or 111- ventilated k t li ns an I to keep all babies and ailing children oit of the kitchen when cooking is going on.—Pitts burgh Dispatch. Colorado's Contribution* Colorado has 3,000,000 acres under artitlcial irrigation. The farm prod ucts exceed $13,000,000 a year; there arc 1,500,000 c.ittle, 3,000,000 sheep; the coal Held cover 40,000 square miles; the supplies of marble, granite mil other building stouo aro luei haustible. Is II Poison? Paris has an insuran e company ihat refuses to insure the life of auy me who uses bair dyo. Elfrtder. Tliero ought to bo au eleotrlc machine to Jog tho memory; wo forgot too much and | learn too little. We know what's beet but forgot it nt tho wrong time. Drain action •houUl bo like a Hash. There are thousands now suffering lulensely with neuralgia. Lot thom remember the cure, Bt. Jaoobs OIL Its effects aro electrical. Rich in Remain*. There have been more remains of mastodons and other extinct mam moths found in Ichtucknee River, Florida, than in any other stream in the world. "Swrrr Sixteen." Fool's calendar, always a welcome guest, has made its appearance for 1894, and is more beautiful than ever. Tho head is that of a lovely girl just ".sweet sixteen," indelicate Hint natural colors. Besides being a thing of beauty, it is especially valuable for tho ven oral information presented. The figures are plainly printed in pleasing and harmonious colors, and the efTcct is most ! satisfactory. The calendars (tan be obtained of any druggist, or by sending six cents in stamps for one and ten cents for two to C. I. Hood V Co., Lowell, Mass. Over eight mil lions of them were printed to supply the immense demand. These calendars are issued by the pro prietors of Hood's Sarsaparilln, the well, known medicine which has gained such renown by its wonderful cures in cases where t' e blood was poisoned or impure. The great laboratory in which it is made has a capacity for fifty thousand bot tles n day, and is the largest building in the World devoted to the manufacture of a medicine. Tim sales of Hood's Harsaparilla in all sections of the country are enormous. The proprietors have never claimed that it would cure every ailment, hut they show by thousands of testimonials that Hood's Ratsaparilla purifies and vitalizes the blood, builds up tho system and cures those dis eases caused by impure blood and debility, such JUS scrofula, suit rheum, catarrh, rheumatism, etc. It is a great preventive of the grip, and it restores the wasted vital forces after a siege of that dreaded malady, fortifying the system against future attacks. Tiio fact that great care is exercised in the preparation of this medicine, and that noth ing has over been claimed for it except as warranted by previous cures, has much to do with tiie confidence felt by the public in its curative powers. The motto of the pro prietors is, "It is not what wo say, but what Hood's Barsaparilla does, that tells the story," and it is what Hood's Barsaparilla has done, as shown by the published state ments of persons whom it has cured, that has placed It at the head In the field ol medi cine in the present day. l lmpaired digest ion c ured by Beechmn'e Pilis. Beet-bam s-no others. 25 cents a box. If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomp ton's Lye-water. Druggiatasell at 25c per bottle. ▲ TERRIBLE CASE OF DHOPSV CUUXD. §Jsro. MALLON, ESQ., Xn. tl McLean St., Ml left ull strength! sto anion became pnin ' a^ agony. The doctors nil JOHN MALLON, LSQ. MLT ,| F could not get well ami in that 1 was liable to drop dead nt any moment Mv wife sent for the priest, topre nn red me for death. While wait fog for death, 1 ivi < -inhered rending of your'tioldrn Medical Discovery,'and thought I would try it as a lust hone. When I hud taken throe bottles, I whs almost well. The swelling entirely disappeared and I was soon able to resume work. My health is better now than it has been in twenty-five years." &aagß33i The Origin of Earrings. It Is a strange tradition among tho Arabians that earrings came into use in the following way: When Pharaoh summoued Abraham and reproached him for his untruth (111 saying that Sarah was his sister), Abraham praved for the King, and Allah healed the King, who now gave Abraham many rich presents, and among others an Egyptian slave named Hagar. She bore hira a son, whom he called Ish mael. But Harah was barren, and the more jealous since the light of Mohammed shone on lshinael's fore head, she demanded Abraham to put away Hagar and her son. Ho was undecided until commanded by Allah to obey w urah in all things. Vet he entreated her not to cast off her bondmaid and her son. But this so exasperated her that sh 1 declared she would not rest until her hands had been imbrued in Hagar's blood. Then Abraham pierced Hagar's ear quickly and drew a ring through it, so that Harah was able to dip her hands in the blood of Hagar without bringing the latter into danger. From that time it became the custom atnoug woipen to wear earrings. S- TN all receipts for cooking "W JL requiring a leavening agent (| | the ROYAL BAKING f j|j POWDER, because it is an || $2 absolutely pure cream of tartar 2 5? powder and of 33 per cent. W h greater leavening strength than p other powders, will give the Jj best results. It will make the food lighter, sweeter, of finer flavor and more wholesome. i i 2J ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO., 106 WALL ST., NEVA YORK. %&&&&*&& TDRFF If p have not re- cure it you must, take internal reined.es. Hall's ( at arm * uro is taken internally, and acts di rectly on the Mood and mucous surface. Hall's Catarrh ( hire is not a nuack medicine. It was prescribed by one of tie- tied physicians In this country for years, and is a regular prescription. It is compose I of the best tonics Known, com bined with the best blond purifiers, acting di rectly on the mucous surf.-n-s. The perfect combination of the two ingredients is what £roduces such wonderful results in curing ca irrh. Send for testimonials free. F. J. Chkney tk ('o.. Props., Toledo, O. Sold by druggists, price 75c. There are .'{.000,000 bachelors in this country over.{'). Are your lun-rs sore? Hatch's Universal Cough Syrup will cure them. 36c at druggists, [ Geneva has a watch school.