THE PICNIC SEASON.
OFFERS MANY ADVANTAGES IN A
SOCIAL WAY.
PlrnlrA Are Tlrropnlinl an Promotive of
Love-Making—The Mont Direct Way to a
Blan'ft Heart—Mistaken Enterprise at Plc
nlos—Some Ludlerous Features.
Picnics and Pleasure.
/pT]OME crusty old lit
ff Kerary bachelor says
he can understand
Vw/ / Ivf yhow people can go
t geologizing, or
botanizing, or col-
IA i IWI \ lecting Bnells, or
//yL'vja 1 \ hugs, or worms, but
yjLaTrlJggA how they can go
A out ' nto 'ho woods
VA simply for tho pur
pose of eat In# somo
thing they have ta
'them passes all
oomprehens ion.
Such a declaration as this, however,
exhibits not the sarcasm and ill-nature
only, but also the impenetrable lgnor
oneo of him who uttored it, for it is at
once plainly evident that he entirely
misconceives tho object of the pic
nic. Tho picnic was not con
ceived for the purpose of eat
ing; were this the ease, it would
be a lamentable failure. The eating at
the picnio is an entirely subordinate
part of the performance, and merely
accessory to the real business of the ex
pedition, which is love-making. It is
true that it is an accessory of some im
portance; for, as everybody knows, the
way to a man's hoart is straight down
his throat, and the lady whose dain
ties aro most savory stunds tho host
chance of attention both during the
meal and afterward, for the open uir
sharpens the appelite of even the most
devoted lover, and lovers, like other
people, appreciate a good thing in tho
culinary line whenever it is commended
to thefr attention. Careful reflection
JTTST OUTSIDE THE GROUNDS.
bestowed on this axiomatic statement,
th Globe-Democrat, may feerve to
clei. v several dark points in sociol
ogy, and among them the fact that
both at picnics and elsewhere the
widow is more attractive than the
young girl. The power of the widow
is so well known as to need no demon
stration. it is everywhere recognized.
A widow will come into a cummunity
and at the very first picnic will take
her choice of young men despite the
most earnest efforts of all the young
girls present, llor sucogrr is duo in no
small measure to a knowledge of the
fact that a well-fed man Is always in a
good humor and disposed to regard the
feeder ns a benefactor. The widow
knows how to do the feeding, hence her
prominonce.
Speaking of the eating, however,
few people ever saw a picnic at which
from 25 to 50 per cent, of the viands
were not rendered unsightly if not un
eatable by carelessness in transporta
tion. The baskets are crowded into a
wagon, often piled on top of each other,
some are unset, others have their con
tents tossed upside down, and cake and
sandwiches, sugar and salt, custards
and broad are hopelessly intermixed.
A hard-boiled egg, by some mysterious
mischance, finds its way into the mid
dle of a pie; a pot of mustard omptios
its tingling contents over the squares
of dainty sponge cake; the neck of the
champagne bottle is prematurely bro
ken, and a dozen disasters of this na
ture, combined with the unwelcome
Sresence of ants, spiders and flies, ren
er the eating a thing to bo hurried
over as soon as possible.
Not so the love making. From the
time the pairs of happy lovers climb
on the cars or squeeze into the crowded
wagons that are to bear them to the
•lysian fields, the billing and the cooing
FWIN ;ISQ THB TLI'MP r.r.Al Tf.
go steadily on until the falling shadows
put an end to tho excursion. Thorn is
a pleasing absence of restraint that en
ables the lover to make more progrers
during one day than otherwise no would
he able to attain during weeks of calls,
theater, opera and balls, and many a
pair comparatively indifferent to each
other have go no to a picnic and re
turned home firmly set in the resolve to
enter as soon as possible on the miseries
of matrimony. As a rule, lovers are
not particularly sensitive to tho opin-;
lens of their fellow human beings. If
they wore, the number of marriages
would fall off 50 per cent. In a single
year. If they were in tho least dis
turbed by the whisperings, the grin
nings, the nudgings. the glances of
merriment that continually go on about
thorn, men and women' would shun
courting as they would the plague.
But all these things are nothing
to them; if they are seen, they are
not in the least regarded, for the lover
has a hide like a rhinoceros to every
thing but hh passion, and is not in the
least disturbed by incidents or remark*
that would drive other people wild.
Particularly is this obtuseness to pub
lic opinion visible at picnics. As soon
as possible after arriving on the ground,
tho company divides into couples, and,
geared hUpsfully on logs or bowlders.
they becomo tho objects of derision and
the prey of seed-ticks without giving
evidence of fooling by so much as a
single g'ance of uneasiness or a solitary
furtive scratch. They are happy and
that is enough for thorn; the world may
call them fools, and in sober moments
they are not altogether sure but what
the world was right; but what does it
matter? Anybody has a right to be a
fool at a picnic, and armed Dy this con
soling reflection they are armor-plated
against criticism.
Tho picnic, Darticularly the largely
attended Sunday-school or day-school
picnic, is, therefore, an admirable place
to study human nature, for thero hu
man nature is found at its east 1 and con
quently off its guard. The natural
tondencios of men show themselves
more fully than elsewhere, and it is
possible, if anywhere, at a picnic to see
what a man really is. There is the
committeeman, with his badge show
ing that ho is on the committee of
amusements* or of lomonado. or order '
of procession, or music, or any one of a
dozen other committees to do little
things to contribute to tho success of ;
the picnic. He Is thus a man of im
portance for tho time being, and feels
his responsibility. If a marshal, he
has accoutered himself with a sash
that would make the heart of a Zuia
danco with envy. If on amusements
he personally arrangos the contestants
for the sack race and lays down the
rules of the contest with a
dignity that a judge of tho
Derby might in vain strive to
emulate. If in charge of the
lemonade, he regards it as axiomatic
that tho refreshing mixture would not
bo properly manufactured unless he
himself squeezed tho lemons, measured
the sugar, and stirrod tho mixture in
the barrel. He knows his businoss,
too. To prepare himself for this im
portant function ho bought a barton*
aor's comploto guide and carefully
studied those sections which treat ot
the various varieties of lemonade, and
is prepared to give chapter and verse
to any doubter who may suspect that
too much sugar or not enough lemona
have boon employed. Ho knows his
businoss, he does, and while ho is stir
ring the lemonade und exposing the
knots in his suspenders it is not safe to
meddle with him.
Not loss important, however, are the
members of several other committees
who are commonly self-appointed. The
committee on swings lias generally
the pleasantest job of the picnic: for,
after having, at the peril of their lives,
urrangod the swing in a proper place,
cut off a limb or two that interfered
with the movement, and pullod the
rope ui> an d down until the Boat was
just right, it is theirs to invito
the young ladies to be swung.
Seldom is tiio honor declined, for, al
though the lady properly approached
011 the subject is morally certain that
she will full out, arid in addition urges
the consideration that swinging always
makes her dizzy, the urgency of the
inviters prevails, and with pretty littlo
shrieks and squeals, and much and
careful adjustment of her drapery
about her feet, she gets hersolf in po
sition and is duly swung, amid many
prote.stations that the is going toe
high, and that she knew she could not
stand it. The misery of the swinging
committee comes when a stout miss
who is fond of swinging makes hor ap
pearance and stands about, with perse
vering patience, waiting to bo invited.
The slim youths manipulating the
swinging circle prolong their exertions
with the petite beauty In hand as long
as possible, keeping hor going far be
yond her own desire in the hope that
the big girl will go away. Vain is
their expectation. She has come to bo
swung, and by and by it becomes im
possible to ignore her any longer. The
slender youths take off their coats and
settle down to the tusk with dumb res
ignation, all of which is needed before
slie becomes tired and requests them
to "let the cat die."
A' display tf enterprise is alway-9
pleasing, though when the enterprise
is misdirected it has a comical aspect
which often excites the risibilities In
no small degree. The presence of a
considerable number of persons as at a
picnic generally attracts individuals ol
the (-loss that lives by providing oheap
and humble popu'ar amusements. How
ever rigid the prejudices of the clorgy
men and Sunday-school superintendent
may bo against the canvas screen with
the agile black load thrust through
the silt, the owner of which stands
prepared to dodge any number of base
balls thrown at his cranium, the screen
and Its appurtenances are almost sure
to appear, the loud-voiced proprietor
lustily commending the sport to world
ly minded youth. Were there none
such In the guthering the fat man with
the loud voice and his hard-headed
dusky assistant would lie forcod to go
away In di gust, but hanging to the
skirts of every Sunday-school there are
always several young reprobates who
have no ta-tu for Sunday-school singing, i
who regard tho speeches by visiting 1
Sunday-school "workers" as a'bore, anl
who slip away to try their luck at the 1
darky s head. So tlio darky generally
has u busy time, and the fat proprietor
reaps a harvest of nickels and dimes.
Much more doprocatod, however, Is
the presence of the operator who with
his rack of canes, his bundle of rings
and his keg of boor advertises his
business in a set formula of words.
"Walk up now, gents, and try your luck.
Five rings for a nickel, and every time
you ring a cane you get a glass of beer."
Sometimes, mistaking the nature of
tho entertainment, ho bobs up at a
Sunday-school picnic, to the horror oi
the preacher, superintendent and old
ladies, who immediately take measures
looking to his summary ejection. His
is a case of mistaken enterprise, and
he must suffer the consequences.
Viewed strictly as a business propo
sition, the picnic is an undoubted fail
ure.. Purely from an economic point
of view, it does not pay to run around
in tho hot sun all day long in the effort
to enjoy yourself; viewed from a socio
logical standpoint, it is a brilliant suc
cess, for, while statistics on tho subject
are lacking, there is little doubt thnt.
wore they available, thev would dem
onstrate that of all the marriages in
tho country no Inconsiderable propor
tion have their beginnings at the picnic.
THE OLDER USE—The happiest
tltne in my life was when I was ap
proaching womanhood. The other-
Yes? But you always seem happiest
when approaching manhood.
GOVERNESS—How long Is it since
Borne was founded? Little Fanny-
Rome was founded 2,848 years ago.
Aged Grandmother—Dear nic, how
time does slip away.-
j
/■ \ A 1 b&t l/Meanlecl to tfo 1o aea— zaiik )l
t oon uRTii T* soPi couldn't 3® tßat
lie (jc d liRTc To smo\e
(i *^ >o ffuoKtE a cidar Trorn KTa {ulfjr* des\,
lie ojlerurard saTcl tome— 4 J
f/ w/ifMl w " 11 Tod mv smoK? orf3 it -rnaßeme jtel I
yW 05 f to seo " I
Baby or Hoy.
The youngest In our household
Is Eammr. six yonrs oldj
Ills cheeks are re Idest ro 3 es,
Ills hair Is purest gold
Wo often call him "baby."
And "di.rling " " Icar." and "pet,"
And If he hadu'. s'o iped us
We'd cad h m tbuse names yet.
One evening when liN papa
Was slttln? all nlone.
The littlo fellow sought him
Ai d made hl9 wishes known.
I want to toll you something,"
He said, with serh u eyes,
"I wish we ha l a bstby
To papa's gre.it suiyrlso.
"Well, I declare?" cried papa,
"What niako- y u wish so, dear?"
And littlo Fatnmy a iswcrod
In accents calm und clear
"I'iu tired of bain* 'darlln*,'
And 'dear' I don't enjoy.
I wish we had a baby
8o I could be a l>oy!"
—Our Little Onca
My <)11 Wife and I.
—Our Little Onu
ltahyklns nnrl Ills Friend.
Babykins had a littlo friend that
used to come to visit him once a
week. It was the day of the week
when the nursery was swept. Nursic
would put the glass from the bureau
down upon the floor whllo she wa>
dust uk and putting things away,
and then It was that this other little
Babykins came. It was a dear little
Babykins that had curly lialr waving
all over its head.
Babykins wou'd creep close to the
glass, but never could touch the
littlo visitor. One day Babykins
thought he would creep around the
glass and have a romp with the dear
■ Babykins who lived there. Oh, he
I was so disappointed! What do you
1 suppose was there? Nothing at all
but the back of the glass! Babykins
made haste to creep back again to
I llio front of the glass, and tlicro was
I the visitor. Babykins played with
| him until Nurse came and took the
glass away. Then Babykins' little
friend went for another week.—Baby
land.
A Little Doclhlou.
One day a small boy entered a
store. The merchant lookc d at him
and asked, "Well, my little man, what
will you have to-day?"
"Oh, please, sir, mayn't I do some
work for you to day?"
"Do some work for me, eh? Well,
what sort of work can a littlo chap
I like you do? Why, you can't look
over the counter."
| "Oh, yes, I can; and I'm growing,
plcrtHe. growing very fast; —there, uow,
see if I can't look over the counter!"
said the little fellow, raising himself
on his tiptoes.
The merchant smiled, and then
came around the other strlc of the
j counter.
"I thought I should liavo to get a
magnifying glass to seo you; but 1
reckon If 1 get c'ose enough 1 can
tlnd what you look like."
"Oh, I'm older than I'm high, sir,"
said the boy. "Folks say I'm small
of my age. You see, sir, mother
hasn't got anybody but me; and this
morning I saw her crying because she
eouldn' tlnd live cents in bar pocket
book. She thinks the boy that took
tho ashes stole It—and—l—haven't—
had—any breakfast, sir."
Then his voice choked, and his
blue eyes were tilled with tears.
"I reckon I can help you to some
breakfast, my llttlo fellow," said
the merchant, feeling In his vest
pocket. "Here, will this quarter
do?"
The boy shook his head, saying:
"Thank you, sir; but my mother
wouldn't let me beg or take money
unless I did something for it."
"Indeed!" said the gentleman.
"And where is your father?"
"He went to sea in the steamer City
of Boston. The vessel was lost, and
wo never heard of htm aftor that."
"Ah, that was sad! Hut you are a
plucky little fellow, and I like you.
Let me see." and then, after thinking
a few-minutes, he called out to one
of the clerks: "Saunders, Is tho rash
boy, No. 4, still sick?"
"He died last night, sir," was the
reply.
Alii I am sorry to hear that.
Well, here is a little fellow that CUD
take his place. What wages did No.
4 get?"
"Four dollars a week, sir."
"Well, put this boy down for $4 a
week.
Then, turning to the astonished
boy, ho said: "There, my little fel
low, go up to the clerk yonder and
tell him your name and where you
live, and then run home and tell
your mother you've got a place at 4
a week. Come back on Monday
morning and I'll tell you what to do.
Here's a dollar in advance. I'll take
it out of your first week's wages.
Now go."
Tommy darted out of the door like
an arrow. How he rushed through
the street! How nimbly he mounted
tho creaking stairs that led to his
mother's room! As soon as he en
tered it he ran across the room, clap
ping his hands, and jumping up and
down, and crying out
"Mother! mother! I've got a place
at $4 a week. There Is the first
dollar to get something to eat with.
Anil don't you ever cry again, for I'm
th mn of the house."
1 Bui Tommy's mother did cry then.
And how cou'd she help it? She
took tho little fellow In her arms,
wept tears of toy over him, then
kneeled down and thanked God foi
giving her such a.treasure of ahoy.
—Boston Traveller
Not * True Story,
There Is a funny lit le girl, who reads m#
every day
The most eurprlslng travels from a volume
worn *nd gray,
In lands whoro monkeys buy and soil, and
talk, and go to school;
And there aro lions, numerous as fishes in
a p 01,
And dreadful savage men who build great
c'tlosoutof bones,
And duarfs whose wod< are bits of most,
their mountains pobble-stone*.
Hut tho book In which she reads about
theso travelers of renown
Is tho Family Receipt Hook, and she hold*
It up-ldo down.
—Youth's Companion.
Childish Chatter.
SOME boys arc like clocks. They
are going nil the time, but never get
anywhere.
"Is YOUR rarrot a bright bird?"
"Oh, yes, aw fully bright, lie's yellow
and light green."
"ISN'T there a flsh called a skate,
papa?" "Yos, ray lx>y." "Well, doci
it come from the Worth l'ole, wlier.
all the Ice is?"
"WHY don't you take your little
brother coasting. Arthur?" "'Cause
he's so awfully little that ho cries 11
ho Isn't allowed to ride up hill, too.'
CROSS Nuioitnon—Are you the boj
that took my front gate off the < thei
night? Oliver—N-no, sir; 'cause the
gate's lots bigger than I am, and 1
couldn't li t It.
ARTHUR—I wonder how it would
do to have a game of base hall on the
ice? Bert—l don't know; it would
be easy enough, though, to slide to the
bases.—Harper's Young Pcop e.
"HAVE you got a collection of an?
kind," asked Uncle Mark, "that 1
can help you with?" "Vos, sir," ro
plied Ned; "I've got a collection ol
United States coins in my bank, but
nothing^argerthan a dime."
THE fellow who Is always boasting
how he itches for a fight seldom comet
to the scratch.—Buffalo Courier.
THE BEGGARS' PARADISE.
NEW YORK A FERTILE FIELD FOR
MENDICANT 3.
It Is KstlmatedTlint Gotham Supports
5000 Professional Beggars—They
Are Nearly All Frauds.
71 MONO the large cities of the
/\ world there is said to be no
more fertile field for the
practice of mendicancy than
New York City. Indeed, it is claimed
for this city that it is the beggars'
paradise; and the cause assigned is
the credulity of those who give to beg
gars, the disinclination in most peo
ple to investigate begging cases that
appeal to them, a distrustfulness that
charity agencies will not help cases
that are sent to them (and this is given
as the chief element), and finally, in
considerate lavishness in giving. Thus
begging is very profitable. The sums
so easily gained are not, however, ac
cumulated, but in nearly every case
the day's results are spent in drink and
other formfc of vice.
The number of beggars in the city
to-day is estimated to be 5000. This
number would quickly reach 20,000,
those say who have the suppression of
the evil in charge, were it not for the
vigorous vigilance of charity investi
gators and the police.
Every New Yorker who walks much
in the city's streets has met with the
solitary and decrepit women on the
curbstones, grinding whezy hurdy
gurdies. They look forlorn enough to
excite the sympathies of the hardest
heart. They are all frauds, however,
and come from that fruitful region of
beggars the Neapolitan district of
j Italy. They are licensed beggars, the
| city lioensing them on the theory that
they furnish the public with music. A
I woman of this class who proved a re
markable fraud used to sit on Four
teenth street from eight o'clock until
ten o'clock in the evening, even in the
stormiest and coldest nights of winter.
As she sat wheezing away, it seemed
there could be no more decrepit crea
ture than she. But it was noticed that
when she arose to depart she was an
able-bodied woman. Bhe was warned
and finally arrested. In court an Ital
ian swore that he knew her to be worth
many thousands of dollars; she sent
to Italy her accumulations acquired
here. Bhe was sent up for six months.
The abandonment of a profitable
business for mendicancy is not often
recorded, but a Twenty-third street
fruit dealer made the change, and this
in how he came to do so : On one oc
casion he went down town to buy
some goods and unwittingly spent all
his money, which fact he did not dis
cover until he had arrived at an ele
vated railroad station. There he asked
for and obtained from a gentleman a
half-dollar. He secured this money so
easily that it occurred to him it would
be a good way to got more, and every
time he went down town he solicited
money on that plan. He finally sold
his business, and began begging in
good earnest, leaving daily a comforta
ble home raggedly attired. After some
time ho was arrested as a beggar and
committed. He wrote a note to his
wife, who came to court, a well dressed
woman, with her well dressed daugh
ter. Bhe confessed all.
The beggars all make money. Some
have been arrested who afterward paid
SIOO to a lawyer to prevent being sent
to prison. Beggars who are blind or
crippled naturally make more than
those less unfortunate. But the extra
liberality for sweet charity's sake is
but money thrown away. Nearly every
one of this class of beggars is a spend
thrift, and in addition, what is worse,
dissolute. Every Sixth avenue shop
ping woman will remember the sandy
moustached blind man who used
plaintively to sing on the avenue,
holding out his open hand inapocnliar
manner. He was suspected of being a
fraud, and a charity officer deter
mined to see what becamo of him.
He was led about by his father, au
able-bodied man. After some time
the officer saw the two start for home.
They first stopped in a saloon and had
drinks. They then took the elevated
cars and proceeded down-town ; on the
train tho blind man counted out the
money he had received from the shop
ping women, putting it from the right
pocket to tho left. He counted more
thau sll. As he concluded his count
he said : "There i 5511.35, dad. That's
pretty good for two hours' work."
The father grunted back: "Pretty
good." They left the train at Twenty
third street, still under the espionage
of the charity officer. He saw them
make a round of the saloons in tho
neighborhood until 1 o'clock, paying
up the scores of the week, and finally
staggering home as drunk as they
could be. The officer soon afterward
ran across the blind singer again, and
told him all he had observed. The
beggar promised to reform, and ended
the interview with the remark, "I
knocked down on the old man; it was
sl3 I collected that night."
Many beggars work in organized
gangs. These aro the ones who go out
of the city in summer robbing country
stores and postofficcs. They have boys
with them whom they teach their evil
| practices.
All sorts of devises are used in beg
| ging. Borne of them are cleverly
I managed. A tall man was once found
begging, alleging a broken arm. This
was found to be a fraud, but the arm
was done up as skilfully as though
done by a physician. When accosted
he said, "I acknowledge I am a fraud."
, Concealed about his person was found,
. to bo used when occasion required, a
I sign which read, "Deaf and dumb.
Charity, if you please."
Mendicancy long persisted in be
comes chronic, and cures are affected
only rarely. Only one successful case
is on record, and that may yet prove
I vain. A gentleman met a street beg
ger in whom he recognized a former
faithful employe of his fother. The
ease was put into the hands of a so
ciety, and money was left to work his
correction if possible. It appeared
that ho had learned to beg from being
employed as clerk of a Bowery lodg
ing-house, where he saw the success of
beggars. Ho had begged five years
when he was recognized. He has been
placed at work and given a good job,
but he can easily earn twice as much
a day by begging than what he is now
receiving.—New York Post.
WISE WORDS.
A doubt is the heaviest thing man
ever tried to lift.
Cheerfulness is health; its opposite,
melancholy, is disease.
' Many a man who tells you how to do
a thing can't do it himself.
There is no genius in life like the
genius of energy and activity.
The future destiny of the child is
always tho work of the mother.
To be good and disagreeable is high
treason against the royalty of virtue.
It is as great a point of wisdom to
hide ignorance as to discover knowl
edge.
Culture may sandpaper and polish,
but it cannot change the grain of the
! wood.
| Fashion is only the attempt to real
i ize art in living forms and social inter
course.
It is a good plan to say as little as
possible about that of which one knows
nothing.
Pride is a vice which pride itself in
clines every man to find in others, and
to overlook in himself.
There never wat found any pretend
ed conscientious zeal but it was at
tended with a spirit of cruelty.
We notice that when a man is eco
nomical, and saves up money for a
rainy day, one generally comes.
Mankind is always happier for hav
ing been made happy. If you make
I them happy now you will make them
thrice happy twenty years hence in the
memory of it.
Despondency is not a state of hu
mility. On the contrary, it is the
vexation and despair of a cowardly
pride ; nothing is worse. Whether we
stumble or whether we fall, we must
only think of rising again and going
on our course.
Vast Extent of Texas.
Texas, the largest of the United
i States, has an area of 262,290 square
miles, says the Memphis Appeal-Ava
lanche. To the casual reader these
figures may seem very little; they
show, however, that the Lone Star
State is more than fifty-four times as
j large as the State of Connecticut. If
j it were possible to run a railroad train
from Connecticut to Texas and back in
a day, and if the train could take the
entire population of the Nutmeg Stato
as given in the last census at every
trip, and upon its return to Connecti
cut there should be as many persons in
the State as there was before the train
I left with its cargo, and if each were
placed upon an acre of ground upon
hie arrival JU Texas, the train would
be obliged to make 224 trips, or to
depopulate Connecticut 224 times, be
fore accomplishing its mission, and
then there would remain in Texas
703,808 empty acres. If the entire
State of Texas were planted with corn
and the hills were two feet apart and
the rows were three feet apart, and if
every man, woman and child in the
State of Connecticut were set to work
in tho field to hoe the corn, and each
person were able to and did hoe two
hills in five minutes, it would take this
army of laborers seven years 280 days
and seven hours to hoe every hill of
corn in the State, laboring continu
ously day and night 365 days each
year. The man who fears that he
could not elbow his way around in the
crowded West without chaffing the nap
of his coat sleeve may gather some
solace from the statement that the
entire population of the globe, 1,400,-
000,000 souls, divided into families of
five persons each, could be located in
Texas, each family with a house on a
half-acre lot, and there would still re
main 50,000,000 vacant family lots.
A Wonderful Discovery.
It is reported that Professor Em
merich, of Berlin, has made A very
valuable discovery in the treating of
infectious diseases. In the course of
his experiments he lias discovered that
the blood of an animal which has re
covered from an infectious disease
will, if injected into it 9 veins, cure an
other animal suffering with the same
disease. At the last meeting of the
Berlin Physiological Society somo
statements were made regarding tho
actnal experience of those who had
followed out Professor Emmerich's
idea experimentally that were strongly
confirmatory of their soundness. Mice
had been inoculated by the serum or
watery portion of a horse'B blood, the
horse having already l>eing cured pf
the disease; the result was that the
mice, which had been previously in
oculated with tho bacilli of lockjaw,
did not die when subjected to the
treatment, while those left to them
selves perished. Experiments are to
be tried on human beings.—New Or
leans Picayune.
An Extraordinary Swallowing Feat.
A German contemporary states that
a very peculiar patient was recently
I under treatment at tho Augsburg State
, Hospital. A man, aged forty, had set
himself the task of swallowing somo
| 250 fruit stones. Having finished this
' extraordinary meal, he experienced
j excruciating pain. While under treat
! ment the first day in the hospital the
; medical men succeeded in removing
I 200 hazel nut stones. The man had
| taken all this trouble to place his life
in jeopardy for a wager of $1.25. —Now
i York Telegram.
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
lokM and Jokeleta that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born—Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curlods, and Laugh
able—The Week's Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.
A GOOD mirror always tells the
truth, no matter upon whom It re
flects.—Troy Press.
WHEREVER the experienced blind
man moves there Is an era of good
feeling.—Troy Press.
WHEN engineers and trainmen are
well trained tho locomotive goes off
on a toot.—Picayune.
No MATTER how cheap quinine may
he It is always a drug on the market.
—Chicago Inter Ocean.
THE tee man now calls every morn
ing at tho home of the coal man and
Joes him up.—Dallas News.
POLICE officers In hoodlum districts
naturally expect to have many a tougn
experience.—IlulTalo Courier.
WHEN a mercantile concern "takes
in sail" It Is In the Interest of the
balance-sheet.—Lowell Courier.
IT IS highly probable that tho times
which tried men's souls found some
of them guilty.—Buffalo Courier.
A PECULIARITY about It is that
when money Is tight It's business
that's apt to stagger.—Philadelphia
Times.
THE restaurateurs at tho Colum
bian Exposition seem to think that a
fair exchange Is no robbery.—lndian
apolis News.
WITH reference to these shows It
may be said a dog's ancestral tree
cannot be told by Its bark. —Phila-
delphia Times.
THE man who knows that he was
one kind of a fool yesterday often has
a suspicion that he Is some other
kind to-day.—Ham's Horn.
MR& SLIMDIET—"Don't you find it
a little lonesome sitting down to
luncheon all alone?" Bordaire—"Oh,
no, the cheese Is here."—Truth.
THE women In an insane asylum
look, somehow, like the women you
meet at home with a church enter
tainment on their hands.—Atchison
Globe.
"Por R Mrs. Chatter is all worn out
from talking last night." "Did sho
lecture?" "Oh, no; It was a whist
party she attended."—Chicago Inter
Ocean.
THE government of Russia has ex
cluded "-Uncle Tom's Cabin" from the
theaters ol that country, yet they call
It despotic and Inconsiderate. —Phila-
delphia Ledger.
"WHAT makes Swigglns such an
unconscionable liar*" "Stinginess.
He has as many facts as anybody,
but he hates to give them out."—
Chicago Tribune.
THE mosqulto-pest season seems to
have reached Boston, when a clergy
man preached a sermon the other day
on "The Bigness of Little Things."—
Philadelphia Ledger.
WHEN a man considers how easy ho
finds It to lend money, he cannot help
wondering sometimes that ho finds It
so hard to get unybody else to lend
money to him.—Texas Sittings.
Music TEACHER —"I don't know
why you are displeased. Your daugh
ter really sings very well." Father—
"Yes; but how Is it that she nt vor
sings anything but soprano."—Schalk.
HICKS —"Brown seems wide awako
enough when at Ills business, but at
home he Is fearfully absent-minded."
Wicks—"But then his wife has a
mind of her own, and It Is quite un
necessary that he should take his
home with him."—Boston Courier, j
A PRIVATE soldier, walking arm
in-arm with his sweetheart, met his
sergeant when about to enter a cheap
restaurant. He respectfully Intro
duced her to him: "sergeant, my sis
ter!" "Yes, yes," was the reply. "I
know; she was mine dice."—Lo Lltr
to al.
TIIS ELDER—I noticed that Mrs.
Van West's father died the other day
and left her a lot of land out In Da
kota. I suppo e she will separate
from Van West now. The younger—
Separate? Why so? The elder-
She will have very good grounds for
a divorce, you soe.—Brooklyn Life.
"LOOK at me, ma'am," said the
man who was asking for something
to eat. "Ain't I the picture of
despair?" "I don't know anything
about ycr bcln' a picture," she an
swered, glancing at the ax; "but un
less you're In the wood-cut line you
can t get anything to eat here."—
Washington Kar.
THE conversation turned on the
number thirteen, the spilling of salt,
knives and forks placed crosswise,
and other kin Is of superstitions.
"You need not laugh at similar be
liefs," gravely remarked Tranqull
tottl. "An uncle of mine at the age
of 77 committed the imprudonce of
going to a dinner at which the guests
numbered Ihlrteen." "And he died
that very evening?" "No, but ex
actly thirteen }ears afterward."—
Gnzetta Pledmoutese.
I "YES, I may take a few summer
boarders this year," replied the old
farmer, afler asking for a pound of
reg'lar saleratus, "but I'm goln' to
hev a fair
set." "About what?" "Wall, princi
pally as to butter'n' eggs and cream
and such, but perticklarly as to
slcepln'. We took an artist from
New York last summer who upsot
the hull home when be found he was
to sleep with the hired man, and I
I actually believe he kept a governor
'rom engigln' with us at #7 a week
J ind washin' and mendln' thruwed
in."—Detroit Free Press.