PREDICTIONS FOI! 1993
Four Bright Journalists Fore
cast the Future.
OATH PLEADS FOR FEDERALISM.
Nym Crinkle Estimates the I'robiible Prog
ress of Literature and tho Drama—Den
ver Will Be as Biff us New York—Views
of John Swinton am! Kate Field on Varl- ,
ous .Subjects.
ICopyrtght, 1893, by American Press Associa
tion.]
Tho federalist founders of the republic
of the United States, Jay, Hamilton and j
Washington, as interpreted by Marshall,
Kent, Quincy Adams, Seward and Lincoln,
are felt in our day through the decrepit or
chaotic provincial states as the spinal life
and brain of our system.
These opponents pass more and more to
the rear us demagogues and confidence men
as the superiority of our federal institu
tions and spirit are seen by the rising gen
erations.
In proportion as the subsidiary states
share this federal or natioual instiuctdo
they rise to the success of the uation.
1 apprehend that it will tako another con
vulsion, and that probably not an extensive
one—perhaps a foreign war—to permanent
ly settle the supremacy of the nation in ev
ery uncriminal mind.
The weakness of the federal government
now is due to tho states who contribute to
it their representative caitiffs as senators,
justices and even presidents.
The last message of thegovernorof South
Carolina, the most wayward of all our early
provinces, shows the failure of an obstrep
erous state sovereignty in the refusal of
the people, though they disobey the federal
laws of suffrage, to pay their taxes, main
tain their public schools, uphold their one
university—the first one where free trade,
rebellion anil secession were taught—or
subdue their factional and social animosi
ties. Good citizens of such a state must in
evitably turn toward the cordial and help
ful federalism at Washington, and so, 1
think, when wo have a less mercenary
newspaper press and can for less income
tell more truth, the poorer anil raggeder
states will come iu like the prodigal son
and say, "Father, I have sinned against
heaven and in thy sight; make me one of
thy hired servants."
The necessities of dull states, the good
sense of great states, all bear toward rais
ing and respecting the one federal father
hood which taxes while we sleep, so that
we do not feel tho rib taken from our body,
and applies that subtraction to delightful
taste and intercourse.
Out of the one public estate have come
all these railways, school sections, new and
great cities, irrigating works, mines, etc.
Where the federal works are expensive the
state politicians make them so. Who
would not rather trust the United States
engineers than a state legislature, either
for wisdom or virtue?
The faith heretofore lacking in the su
preme legislature through local and press
demagogy will, when restored, make honor
at Washington the public standard.
Liberty has descended to us through tim
orous and excitable men like Jefferson, as a
stockade surrounded by Indians. Liberty
ought to be not the suspicion of mutual
egotists, but tho beautiful respect and har
mony between man and his family.
The unequal civilization of the parts of
our country, the assembling as tribes in
stead of fellow countrymen, the law of life
and property in one part, the law of spasm
and force in another part, the long results
of slavery and nonpayment of taxes, must
and will yield.
Excessive wealth ought to he taxed in its
full proportiou, not more, for remove the
stimulus of wealth and at present America
is nothing.
Tho church has become nonentity, except
as a dead pull hack ou hold and noble
thinking. Literature, until the other day,
had no care from the lawmaking power.
Science is doing well, but is taking fat tolls
from its generation. Would not a better
interpretation of government than ours
have bought the telephone at the outset for
a million dollars instead of taxing every
customer in two generations fifty dollars a
year?
Europe is influencing us greatly, and that
will last long and probably for our good.
What could we learn from North Carolina
or Indiana that would ho better than
European intercourse?
We must nourish our peasantry, includ
ing the 8,000,000 of our blacks, for an
empire without servants might almost be
without homes or utensils. What have
these wretched states done to discipline the
poor in the mechanic and household arts?
The farmers are without public spirit or
they would have better roads and con
veniences. From the cities and the villa
seats are to come the immediate helps to
progress.
Individual life needs more liberty than
dogma anil fashion will accord. He who
confiscates my Sunday to serve his super
stition tyrannizes over one-seventh of my
life.
When we become free indeed it will not
cost us so much to live, for fashion and
church thrive upon our acquiescent slavery.
The home, too, should be free, the civil aud
not tho clerical power should do ull the
marrying; these broken homes are often
the result of tho mercenary and secret
priest marrying the dissolute, the half
grown and the runaway to each other.
Temperance and legislation have little to
do with each other. Liquors ought to ho
inspected anil adulterating brewers to wear
stripes.
Woman's great triumph, and man's, too,
will be not to need the ballot often; she
ballots alone and uninfluenced for a man.
Perhaps the old maids might be given the
Australian ballot to widen the understand
ing of it.
Private societies usurping the law's func
tions in tho name of morals are Spanish in
quisitions and too often directed by men of
hideously perverted animality.
Tho United States—not the Texas con
trived interstate commission—ought to bo
a strong power in our railways and to own
the telegraphs. The world is interested in
our becoming not a Christian so much as a
humane and scientific empire, with one
hand secured upon the people's will and
tho other free to labor for their lasting
welfare.
I hope the most honored American in
1993 will he George Washington.
GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSEND.
Kate Field's Forecast.
What American now living will be most
honored in 1993?
Grover Cleveland, if he fulfills the expec
tation of his best friends. Never were the
problems confronting this republic so great
and so many as those which the next presi
dent of the United States must meet and
iioswer. On these answers depends our sal
ration for many a year to come; hence the
necessity of u great and enlightened patriot
in the White House, and hence such a ver
dict as I predict should Grover Cleveland
prove himself to he the George Washington
and Abraham Lincoln of this generation.
Where will be our greatest cityf
In all probability Chicago. There will
be wonderful cities in the west, none more
beautiful aud extensive than Salt Lake
City; but unless all sigus fail Chicago will
take precedence.
Will the race be happier, healthier and
handsomer than now?
All depends on our women. If they marry
for love and not for convenience; if they
cultivate the inside of their heads as sedu
lously as they now study fashion; if they
"go in" for sound bodies such as nature in
tended the mothers of the human race to
possess; if they teach their children self re
spect and respect for authority, Americans
of 1993 will regard their ancestors of 1893 as
little less than vulgar, ignorant heathens.
What is the future of the servant prob
lem ?
Again, all depends on women. When
they know their own business and learn the
meaning of Christianity there will ho no
servant problem.
In dress?
Ouce more the question must be settled
by women. Should American women do
their own thinking in the next hundred
years they will not import their fashions,
and they will wear nothing that interferes
with a magnificent physical development.
Trains will be reserved for the house; cor
sets and high heels will be sent to Coventry;
the waist line will be just below the bosom,
and Atalauta will live again.
Is the condition of the laboring class
likely to become more or less dependent?
There has been a steady improvement in
the condition of what is falsely called tho
"laboring class," as though no one worked
except the manual laborer. I only hope
that the brain worker will he as well paid ,
in 1993 as will he the manual laborer, who
is fast controlling the fates of this republic
and reducing human capacity to a dead
level of mediocrity. All men should bo •
born free, but all ruen are not born equal, |
trades unions to the contrary. There always
have been, as there always will he, leaders.
Iu temperance legislation?
So called temperance legislation is a tem
porary aberration of well meaning but nar
row minded men and women with whom
sentimentality supplants reason, and who
actually think morals are an uffair of legis
lation. One hundred years hence personal
liberty will he more than a phrase. When
it is a fact sumptuary laws will ho as im
possible as witch burning is now.
KATE FIELD.
Nym Crinkle on Literature and the Drama.
What will he the condition of literature
and drama 100 years hence?
To keep the answer to this question out
of the category of mere guesses on tho one
hand and save it from the imputation of
rash prediction on the other, it must he de
duced from the indications of the present.
There is a feverish energy in every de
partment of intellectual life just now that
is symptomatic. Every person of fairly
good education and of restless mind writes
a hook. As a rule, it is a superficial hook,
hut it swells the bulk and it indicates tho
cerebral unrest that is trying to express it
self. We have arrived at a condition In
which more books are printed than the
world can read. This is true not only of
hooks that are not worth reading, hut it is
true of the hooks that are.
All this 1 tuko to he the result of an In
telleetual afTranchisement that is new, and
of a dissemination of knowledge instead of
a concentration of culture. Everybody
wonts to say something. But it is slowly
growing upon the world that everybody
has not got something to say.
Therefore one may even at this moment
detect the causes which will produce reac
tion. In 100 years there will not be so mauy
books printed, but there will be more said.
That seems to me to ho inevitable. It is
certainly in the direction of intellectual do- I
velopment, which implies that man reaches
a condition individually and socially, if ho
progresses at all, in which ho wires less
about talking than about doing.
Ilut, taking the whole bulk of current
literature, good, bad and indifferent, and '
acknowledging that as a mass it is more
active than profound, there is nevertheless j
an observable tendency in it—it is measur- j
ably moving toward a somewhat!
If we can get the direction and the ratio !
we may reasonably measure its progress i
during the next century.
Now what is that tendency?
I do not see how any one can diligently :
investigate the material without perceiving
that its slow advance is toward a better
humunity, a closer fraternity, a broader
charity. These signs are unmistakable even
in Its lighter veins of cynicism and persi
flage.
Nine-tenths of all the Imaginative writers
are jibing at the wrongs of society. The
other tenth are jibing at the political short
comings. Ofcoursethcy have ideals, against
which they adjust tho real. Some of these
ideals nro made of moonlieams; some are
wildly impracticable; others are fantasies
on Plato's notion or travesties of More's
dream. But the incentive is u restless senso
of imperfection and a growing conscious
ness of a central sun somewhere in tho
moral and intellectual universe which is
pulling all things to it. When this is not
a distinctly theistio feeling, it is a vague
philosophic counterpart of it.
So far as this is a gain in unity and rear I
souablenesn, it is a permanent gain. I can ,
conceive of no political or social disaster
that will destroy it.
The philosopher who undertakes to sur
vey this ground needs not ho an extreme !
optimist to see that there is a distinct ethic
al gain in the aggregate of intellectual
work. When it does not lead it reflects, in
broken and uncertain gleams, the spirit of
the age, and that spirit stands for a better
solidarity and a nobler destiny for man.
Under all the factors that must influence
the intellectual future, broader and deeper
than any of them lies education. If you
want to find out what tho future man will
say you will have to ask, What will ho
know?
At this moment the whole educational
energy of the country is centering itself ou
the want of an ethical basis of instruction.
It is not alone the Cntholic church that ob
jects to the system which makes smart men
instead of good men. Some of the wisest of
Protestant teachers have conceded that our
public school system is fatally deficient in
the elemental teaching which develops the
fnoral sense and makes honest citizens.
This protest, I take it, is another form
of the reaction against the intense materi
alism of the time. But it is also a sign of
intellectual development. No one who
studies it can doubt that the education of
our youth during tin; next fifty years will
he in a measure freed from the mathemat
ical restrictions of the present courses.
If we now recognize the fact that labor
everywhere is insisting that more time to
study and rest shall betaken from toil, and
add this to the fact that the studies promise
to improve in the direction of ethics, I do
not see how we can avoid tho conclusion
that, barring some great and incalculable
convulsion that would throw mankind
! backward a hundred years, tho coming in
tellectual workers will he less superficial,
more thoroughly equipped for their work,
of larger views and broader catholic spirit,
with less creed in their religion and more
of God and humanity. Tho encyclopedic
man, who makes a show of knowing all
things, will give way to the specialist, who
makes an effort to kuow one thing and
know it well.
The newspaper which has made a bold
incursion into current literature has with
tho stimulus of competition overdone the
mutter, and there is already a tendency to
go to the review for expressions of opinion.
We hear continually of the demoralization
of the press, which means the populariza
tion of the newspaper at the expense of con
viction. There is going to be a reaction in
that field. There ought to be, and there
undoubtedly will be in New York or some
other commercial and intellectual Ameri
can center, a press which will express the
convictions of the wisest minds in all de
partments of thought, irrespective of what
u party or a corporation or an advertiser
wants.
Such a paper whoso opinions cannot he
bought, whose convictions cannot be fright
ened and whose good will cannot be cajoled
will bring the power of the press up to tho
traditional standard, and its opinion will
command tho attention of the world. It is
American just now to want the news. As
tho facilities for gathering it and dissemi
nating it increase, the intelligent public
will want something eiae. They will re
flect as well as apprehend.
They will have more leisure to think. The
present rate of headlong material activity
cannot he kept up for another hundred
years. Already a new class is multiplying,
which is reaping the leisure that its fathers
made possible with drudgery and heart
failure. The continent is all explored and
nearly all surveyed. There will scarcely be
another Pike's peak fever. While 1 am
writing this the statesmen of the country
ure asking themselves if it is not time to
make laws which shull restrict if they do
uot put a stop to immigration.
In 100 years Denver will be as big as New
York and in the center of a vast population.
If the republic remains politically compact
and doesn't fall apart at the Mississippi
river, Canada will be either part of it or an
independent sovereignty, and t%e northern
shore of the Gulf of Mexico will bo the
Riviera of the western continent.
It is not possible to estimate the per
petuity and progress of tho United States
without feeling that its political majesty
and Its beneficent freedom will react upon
the intellectual expression of tho people.
The solidarity, tlie general happiness ol
the nation, will find an outcome in nobler
works of art and science.
In that hundred years we will have ma
tured our poet and found our Moliere or
our Shakespeare.
The gestation of genius is by centuries.
Of course I do not suppose that the in
coming century will bring the millennium.
We all kuow that progress often depends
on disaster its character depends on suffer
ing and no one can tell what upheavals are
in store for us. History, on the whole, is
very sad reading, and it is the lesson not of
uninterrupted material prosperity, but of
rise, decline and fall.
But in our present rate of progress is
much hope and some calculable signs. In
100 years the public will desire better read
ing, because it must reach a better platio
of thinking. The genus of great universi
ties will have matured their fruit by that
time. The world will be in closer touch.
Mercy will march with war and arbitrtv
tiou precede it. Somewhere the nation
will have an intellectual capital with n
national library and a national theater. It
will have developed an art school of its own.
The ideal man and woman will have an
, opportunity to use all plastic arts, and will
speak to us in literature and drama. The
homes of the country will have been quad
rupled, and it is the home that fixes the
status of the theater. As we increase the
enjoyments of the family circle we lessen
the attraction of the cheap public enter
tainments, which depend upon the hotels
and the floating poptlation.
We can see even now that sectarian bar
riers are crumbling. Men are climbing
over the ecclesiastical fences to get nearer
to each other, and they have found that as
they come together they approach tho
eternal reason.
In a hundred years man will have learned
the lesson of trusting his brother, and tho
nation which has drawn all peoples to it
with a cosmic gravitation and lifted them
with freedom and confidence will also have
destroyed the prejudices of race and tho
animosities of sect.
Such a view presents the new solidarity
of fraternity, but it is the old lesson which
that first democrat dauntlessly proclaimed
on Mars' hill.
A. C. WHEELER (Nym Crinkle).
John Sainton's Views.
When the old saw grinder said that "We
can judge of the future only by the past"
and predicted that "The things which will
he are the things which have been," I re
piled to him in the Hebrew language with
the word "Amen!"
Well, then, suppose that the wiseacres of
the lifteeuth century while hanging up
these maxims had judged of the future
Sixteeuth century by the past Fourteenth
century, and concluded that the one must
bo even as the other had been, it would now
he evident to us of this time that they did
not foresee the consequences of the discovery
of America, or of Gutenberg's invention,
or of Luther's antipapal mutiny, or of the
doom of Islam, or of the Renaissance.
So, again, if the wiseacres who lived at
the opening of bust century, when Louis
XIV was king of France and William 111
was the sovereign of the British American
colonies, believed that their century would
leave things as they found them, it would
now bo evident to us who live at this time
that they had not forecast the events of
177> in this country, or those of 1793 In
France, or many others that were on record
before the year 1800.
And ro yet again it may be taken for
granted that the wiseacres who worked the
, old saw at the opening of our owu Nine
j teenth century, while judging tho future
by tho past, did not have any prevision of
I the transformations to be brought about
during the century in South America, Asia
and Africa, or even in such European coun
tries as Germany and Italy.
I cannot foretell the course or the opera-
I tions of the whirligig of time during the
next hundred years. lam disposed to sur
mise that the historian who in 1993 makes
I record thereof will have to get up a big book.
! I guess that there will he great political
and social changes in our country before
the year 1993, anil that these changes will
ho advantageous to the community at large.
I guess that before the next century shall
end the functions and powers of our gov
ernment will be greatly enlarged; that rail
roads, telegraphs and many other things
; now held as private spoil will he public
| property; that law, medicine and theology
will he more reasonable than they now are
that the inventions and discoveries will l>
1 greater than we have ever yet had, and that
j the welfare of mankind will he higher that
i it is in this age of confusion.
JOHN SWINTON.
ORANGE BLOSSOM
IS AS SAFE AND HARMLESS AS
A. Flax Seed Poultice.
It is applied right to the parts. It cures all diseases of women. Any
lady can use it herself. Sold by AT.T. DRUGGISTS. Mailed to any
address on receipt of sl.
Dr. J. A. McGill & 00., 3 and 4 Panorama Place, Chicago, 111.
THE OLD MAN.
All the world knows, at least by reputa
tion, the great seminary of St. Sulpice, es
tablished in Paris near the magnificent
church of the same name. This seminary
was founded in the time of Louis XIII by
a man of admirable virtue and saintliness—
the Abbe Olier.
Before settling in Paris M. Olier and his
first associates dwelt at Vaugirard, in a
community house, and prepared themselves
by the practice of penitence, prayer, pover
ty and the care of the unfortunate—in one
word, by the following of a Christian life,
to become the proper instruments for the
grand design which had been formed among
them.
M. Olier frequently collected his pi<Ais
comrades into the great chamber and ex
horted them with indefatigable zeal to ad
vance in the paths of perfection, to become
saintly priests, and especially to combat, to
mortify, to immolute the "old man"—that
is to say, the evil inclinations of the corrupt
nature. The house was guarded by an
elderly gardener named Thomas, who lived
with his wife in a little cottage at the end
of the garden. Thomas had noticed these
secret reunions of the disciples of M. Olier
in the great chamber. He had spoken of it
to his wife, and both inquired of themselves
jvhy the good gentlemen should thus as
semble.
Old Thomas, as suspicious as his wife,
resolved one day to penetrate the mystery,
and in default of a better method went to
j listen at the door.
On the evening of the day when he had
taken this resolution there was to be a
meeting at M. Olier's house, which Thom
as knew. Ho advanced upon the tips of
his toes, applied his ear to the door and
heard talking. Listening, ho distinguished
the voice of M. Olier, and as the silence of
the auditors was profound he beard these
words:
1 "Gentlemen, gentlemen, what awaits us?
Let us put ourselves to the work even to
day. For a long time we have held back.
Immolate the old man without pity, with
out hearkening to his murmurs and his
cries. Is not this the price that we must
pay? This is an enemy always ready to de
stroy us, always near to us, who will kill
us if wo do not sacrifice him with courage.
Of what use is it to make resolutions if we
do not execute thein? There has been
enough delay; the moment has come."
Thomas was the only uged person in the
house. One may judge of his surprise, his
terror, when ho heard M. Olier urge his
companions not to hesitate to immolate
the "old man!" Evidently this threat was
directed toward him, and to follow in the
same day to lili his place with a young gar- j
doner. Pale as death, he sought shelter in j
his own house.
"Wife," he said, "wife, we are lostl !
Quickl save yourself from here! We are 1
among cutthroats! They intend to kifcl :
us—l heard them! Wo have only barely j
time to make up our bundles! Oh, who j
could have believed it? Men with so good j
an air, who have testified so much friend- !
ship to me. What can you tell by looks?" j
Thus lamenting and recounting to his
terror stricken wife what he had heard,
Thomas gathered into two or three great
baskets what was most valuable. But it
was too late. While thus engaged in their
i preparations for flight the door opened* and
I M. Olier appeared upon the threshold,
j "Thomas," said lie, "you will summon us ;
in five minutes for supper. Do you hear
me? But what are you doing? What are
I tlieso packages? Where are you going?" j
Old Thomas, believing himself at his last j
| moment, with his hair bristling upon his |
j head, stammered some words. He imagined
he saw some weapon in the hands of M. |
Olier. Then, unable to longer contuin him- j
self, lie cried:
"Wicked man, I know you at lust! Hyp- J
ocrite, traitor, ussnssinl I have heard uli!
Help! Police!"
Poor Abbe Olier was stupefied.
"What is the matter with you, Thomas?"
said lie. "Are you mad?"
"No, no, I am not mad!" cried the old 1
gardener. "Sooner to God that 1 was mad! I
Police! Police! Help! It is not worth while j
to pretend longer. I repeat, I heard all. I
was at the door while you were encourag- j
ing your traitorous companions to kill me j
this evening. Oh, sir, how wicked of you! i
Mo who loved you so well! Why should
you kill me? It is only necessary to !
simply semi me away if you have a new j
servant you wish to put in my place."
"But I know not, in truth, what all this
means," responded M. Olier, more and more j
surprised. "Explain yourself. Who did !
you think was going to kill you?"
"Youl"
"I?"
"Yes; you, you, you! I recognized youi |
voice in your preaching tone hurungue when
you said, less than an hour ago, to immolate !
! the 'old man' who was ever as an enemy in !
j the house, and not to hesitate to follow !
i your advice"
At these words M. Olier comprehended
the misunderstanding, and laughing with
all his heart departed from the cottage to
tell the story to his comrades.
They came in a body to Thomas' house,
and after great difficulty made lain under
stand that they had no animosity against
him. But it was for a long period and only
after many conversations with the good
Abbe Olier that he was convinced of lag
error and ceased to carry about with him
concealed weapons to defend himself.—
i Translated by o. A. Shaw For New York
j Journal.
Jeffrey's Talk.
Jeffrey's talk was a choice and finished
performance—his words abundant, felici
tous, and with a picturesque precision,
never exaggerated. On the contrary, a lit- ,
tie depreciatory undertone ran through hie
conversation; he liked to differ, us perhaps
! became his profession. If any one gushed
! about last evening's sunset,*- lie would say,
I "A few pink clouds, perhaps." Hisafiir
i mations wenyather negative than positive.
| He would rather say "I should not be
sorry" than "I should be glad."
| All this, with even a touch of the artifl-
I cial, peculiar to himself and apt to be mis
! understood, had rendered him unpopulai
with his countrymen in his youth. But he
sweetened with age, success and independ
-1 enee and would say that it was poor wine
| that grew sour with keeping.—Longman's
Magazine.
Made a Bttllseye*
One of the candidates for the repre
sentation of a west country borough, in
tho course of a speech just previous to
the general election, had occasion to re
fer to the flogging of children. Some
folks nowadays, lie said, objected to
beating youngsters at all, but he agreed
with tho truth conveyed in that saying
of tho wise man, "Spare the rod and
spoil the child."
"I suppose I was no worse than other
boys," he went on to say, "but I know I
i had some flogging myself, and I believe
it did mo good. Now, on one occasion I
was flogged for telling the truth!"
"It cured you, sir!" said a voice from
( tho back.—Million.
Parental Joys.
IF
\j
Father—l wonder where those new
scarfs of mino are? They were here this
i morning.
Tommy—We've got 'em, papa. Tliey
make bully reins.—Harper's Bazar.
lluylng u Stamp.
"How many stamps do you sell for a
quarter?" she said to tho stamp clork at
i tho postoffice.
"Twenty-five 1-cent ones or 12 2-cent
ones, ma'am."
"Don't you give back tho odd cent
I change?"
"Certainly."
"Are they the Columbian stamps or
tho old kind?"
( "I can givo you cither."
"Don't tho old stylo one 3 come a little
cheaper now?"
"No, ma'am."
"I thought tliey would. They aro out
of stylo, you know."
"Tho government receives them tho
same as the new ones in payment of post-
I age, and many people prefer them."
"But their red color doesn't match
I some styles of envelopes."
I I "I can't help that."
' ' "Couldn't you sell mo a dozen of the
1 old 2-ccnt ones for 15 cents?"
| "No ma'am."
"Couldn't you on Friday?"
| "No, ma'am."
j "But that's bargain day in the stores."
"Possibly, but not at the postoffice."
"When is your bargain day?"
"Wo don't have any."
"Not have any bargain day! Well, I
never! And my husband told me the
; postoffice was run on business principles.
Why, you don't know the first principles
of business. I won't patronize such an
establishment. I'll go across the street
| and buy a stamp at tho drug store."
! Which she did.—Exchange.
The Provost Was Angry.
1 Our minister was learned and warm
i hearted, but somewhat erratic and ab
-1 sentminded. He had a pony that had a
great aversion to donkeys, and it was
j with the greatest difficulty that it could
| be got to pass one of those animals on
tlio road..
I Ono day when riding to Forfar he
met near Quilkie an itinerant earthen
ware merchant whose stock in trade
was drawn by a donkey. The pony
reared and backed and was only got
I past after a great strugglo.
' The minister, at tho turn of the road
a little farther on and before his mind
I was quite composed, met tho provost of
| Forfar.
I "A fine day, provost," said the minis
ter.
| "Yes, fine day, Mr. Allan," replied the
| provost.
"Do you think, provost, I'm likely to
' meet any more asses on this road?"
Tho provost used strong language in
reply, though there was no cause for it.
—Yankee Blade.
Keflected Glory.
"Who is that little man talking to all
those people crowding about him? He's
been attracting no end of attention to
night."
"Why, haven't you heard of Jinkins,
the great explorer, just returned from
his expedition into the very heart of
Bungaboo, where ho had the most thrill
ing experiences?"
"Certainly. And you don't tell me
that's Jinkins?"
"Oh, no! Jinkins isn't here. That's
Firkins, who claims ho used to go to the
same school with Jinkins!"—Exchange.
A Clever Reply.
"I have just been reading an interest
ing story of two men who were lost in
the Adirondacks while hunting," said
tho beautiful Miss Hickins. "Were you
ever lost, Mr. Tubbs?"
j "Once."
| "When?"
•"When I first saw you, I was lost in
admiration, and I may add that I have
not since been found." —Tit-Bits.
COUGHING LEADS TO CONSUMPTION.
Kemp's Balsam stops the cough at once.
Lane's Medicine Moves llio Howels Kncli
Day. In order to be heultky this is necessary*
IP WOW WMf
VASArP FOK VOUIt mokkv
iiiii ASB mwm wm*
You will be sure to receive honest quality and full
value for your money out of the immense stock of spring
goods which we are daily receiving. Our
CLOTHING, DRY GOODS, and BOOT and SHOE depart
ments you will find to contain more correct styles then dur
ing any previous season. Our
LADIES' and GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS departments
are more complete than ever. Our
LADIES' MUSLIN UNDERWEAR and EMBRODIERY de
partments far excel any previous season in quality and
elegance. In
HATS, CAPS, TRUNKS, VALISES, NOTIONS, etc., we can
suit almost everybody out of our large assortments and low
prices, which we are now offering to our patrons.
Call and let us convince you that if you want to enjoy
the full purchasing power of your dollar the place to
spend it is with us.
JOS. NEUBURGER,
Leader and promoter of low prices.
lii the P. O. S. of A. Building, Freeland.
iM \\\\\ WY Clct * es
J ! Lll 1 11111..1 U IJJ J • Honest 2?rice.
You can depend upon us for this. Shapely, genteel,
perfect fitting Men's and Boys' Clothing, guaranteed to
give 100 cents in wear and service for every dollar you
put into them. You can pick from a great assortment
of strictly new and decidedly popular styles.
Men's Suits, Overcoats,
Boys' Suits, All Styles and Sizes,
Children's Suits, Gents' Furnishings.
All for the least money, quality considered. We lead
with newest styles and best grades in Neckwear, Shirts,
Handkerchiefs, Underwear Collars, Cuffs, Umbrellas,
Hosiery, Gloves, Trunks, Hats, Caps, Boots and Shoes.
You got the best of it every time you trade with
JOHN SMITH,
BIRKBECK - BRICK, - CENTRE STREET, - FREELAND.
THE Woodman's Specific No. 4 is a scien-
WORST
COLDS
GRIPPE tific combination of vegetable products.
BRONCHITIS
AND
MALARIA Perfectly harmless, but will cure a cold
ARE
QUICKLY
CURED in a few hours. They are little, tiny
PNEUMONIA
AND
CONSUMPTION pills, easy to take, pleasant to the taste,
POSITIVELY
PREVENTED
gy an( l can ! >e carried in the vest pocket.
USING
WOODMAN'S 25 doses for 25 cts.
SPECIFIC /
NO. 4
FOR To verify the truthfulness of our state-
SALE
BY
ALL. ment, it costs but a trifle. One trial
DRUGGISTS *
PRICE
25 CTS will convince you.
WOODMAN DRUG CO.
ROXBURY, MASS.
CAtJTION.
Ask for Woodman's Specific No. 4. If your druggist
does not keep it, and will not get it for you, send us 25 cts.,
and we will send it to you postpaid.
IPCRTRM 1 IN THE tribune
11 II 1 Llll lullMl YIELDS GOOD RESULTS.