THE LAND OF SILENCE.
•Twixt the shining steeps of joyance
And the death-clear lufce of ruth
A low land lies—a wonderful land—.
That knows not ago "or youth.
ItoseB! rosesf roses! anear, afar, they blow,
All rarely jnle, all richly red,
All white as the driven snow.
Bed blooms for the lips of loving,
And pale for the lips that ligh,
And shining white for the honest lips
Unstained with a coward lie.
For they blow in the land of silence
That lies by the lake of ruth,
And the soul that plucks shall walk unvexed
In the fair green meads of truth.
—[Harper's Weekly.
GRACE DESMOND'S PERIL.
BX IIAURY O'CONNOR.
"Did you hear that, boys?" said Pierco
Ryan to a group of which he formed a
part, sitting uround the cheery turf fire
of an inn, in a smull fishing hamlet 011
the western const of Ireland.
Every voice in tho compuny ceased
speaking at once. The roar of tho
neighboring surf and tho wild tumult of
the tempest, as it whistled und shrieked
without, broke distinctly on the hearing,
but for moro than a minute, during which
all listened intently, nothing else was
heard.
44 1t was merely fancy, Pierce," said
one of the group. You ought to "
The speaker stopped short, for, at that
lustaut, the deep boom of a cannon, out
at sea, sounded distinctly and fearfully
across the night.
"There is a ship on the coast," said
Pierce. "Hark! a third gun. and it
sounds nearer than the last." "And the
wind is right on the shore and blowing a
hurricane," said another. "Lord bo
merciful to them," ejaculated Pierce,
"but let us hurry to the coast and see if
we can help them in any way."
With one consent tho party moved
toward tho door, first, however, calling '
to tho landlord to bring lanterns and I
ropes in case tho latter might bo needed.
As tho door was opened a gust of wind
eddied into the room, flaring the candles I
in their sconces, and whistling keenly !
around the corners of tho apartments. I
When the adventurers stepped outside ! ;
they were almost borne down for a mo- I
mout by the intensity of tho gale, which,
sweeping ifuchecked across the plain
that lay betwixt tho inn and tho boach,
burst on the house with almost incred
ible fury. It was snowing violently, and
the flakes, hissing and spinning in tho
hurricane, almost blinded tho eyes of tho
adventurers; but drawing their friozo
topcoats around them, tho warm hearted
travelers bent their heads against tho
wind and hurried to the coast.
The shore to which they turned their
steps was a high, bold, rocky coast,
against which tho surf was now beating
with a violence that shook tho cliffs to
their base and flung the spray in showers
over their edge 100 feet above the raging
deep below. Tho party lmd stood some
time, however, on the summit of the
rocks before they could distinguish any
thing through the storm.
At length a light, shadowy object
gradually assumed tho outlines of a ship
flying before tho tempest und started out
of tho misty distance. For one moment
she was seen driving up toward tho spec
tators. That moment, seeming to them
an age, was spent in breathless horror.
Each one involuntarily clenched his
hands tighter together and gazed with
straining eyes on the powerless craft that
was sweeping onward with such mad
velocity to the cliffs at his feet. On, on
she came, driving amid the white foam.
A moment more and there was a crash,
followed by a shriek that rose even above
the storin, and frozo the very hearts of
the listeners. It ceased and tho hurri
cane alone was heard.
"It is all over," said one of tho
listeners.
•'May the good heaven give rest to tho
souls of those who have gone to their last
account this blessed night."
"Amen, said another, and again a
breathing silence followed. At length
Pierce Ryan spoke.
"Did you hear that cry ? "
"I did. It sounds iiko the wail of a
child."
44 It is just beneath tho cliff," said
Pierce. "Listen! there it is again—it is
a woman's voice."
There was no doubt any longer that a '
living being was crying for succor from
the foot of the cliffs, and a dozen lanterns !
were immediately lowered over the edge, j
For an instant, and an instant only, by
the light of a lantern lowered further
down the precipice, but almost immedi
ately shattered to pieces, the face of a
female had been seen, cast upward in
earnest supplication. But what could bo
done for her? The frenzy of the gale for
bade any attempt to rescue her by de
scending the clitt, and it was certain that
she could not live until morning, exposed i
to the driving snow, the intense cold, the
washing of the surf and the fierce eddies
of the gale around the precipice. The
spectators looked at each other in dismay,
and when, in a lull of the hurricane, the
cry of agony came again to their ears, u
shiver ran through their frames. Mean
while the cliffs were becoming crowded
with people, who, apprised of the wreck
by the signal guns she had tired, poured
forth from their cabins to render what
assistance was possiblo to the sufferers.
A firo was soon kindled on the vergo of
the precipice. As the fire Hung its light
across the countenances of the group,
there might bo traced in every face an
expression of the most unxious concern,
while each spectator gazed out toward
the ocean, striving to catch through the
fleecy storm a sight of the wreck, or
peered down over the cliff to discover
the exact position of the sufferer below.
During all this time persons had been
arriving at the scene of the disaster,
bringing ropes, tackle, and other apph- j
ances by which aid might bo rendered
to tho crew and passengers of the dis
mantled ship. At length, tho fire, I
Hinging its ruddy blaze far and wide
around, enabled the spectators to cutch
momentary gleams of the wreck. She
appeared to be a ship of heavy tonnage,
ana had ran so high up on the rocks
that she stuck there as if impaled, her
stem falling off seaward, while her bows
overhung the boiling vortex on tho land
side of the sharp rock on which she lay.
The racking of the sea had by this time
broken her hull in two, and tho forward
purt, crowded with living beings, fell
away into the gulf below, just as the .
ruddy blaze of the flames enabled the !
spectators to catch their first glimpe of j
the wreck. < 'no wild shriek rose over all |
the uproar of tho gale and then a silence,
if silence there could bo amid that hurri
cane. fell 011 tho scene.
"There is not u soul left alive. I fear
the sufferer below is tho solo survivor,"
said Pierce.
"Can nothing ho done to save her?"
asked sorno of tho spectators. Many |
shook their heads, and several turned
away as if longer delay spot was useless
But, when silence reigned for some time,
Pierce Ryan stopped out und said:
"The only hope is in descending to her
aid, and with Heaven's Help 1 will make
the trial. Give ino a rope.
"It's madness," said one. "Don't at
tempt it, Pierce, if you value your life,"
said another. "You'll be killed beforo
you're half way down."
"No matter," replied Pierce, "I'll risk
my life to save a fellow creature, and if
1 am killed, I'll die in a holy cuuse."
"Nobly spoken, Pierce Ryan," said
Father O'Brien, the village pastor, "and
may your Heavenly Father be with you
in your attempt. He who guided the
children of Israel through the desert,
will not desert you in this extremity." j
The words of the venerable priest had
an invigorating effect 011 tho listeners,
and infused now hope into their bosoms.
The tuckle was speedily rigged, the tire
was replenished, and then the adventurer
stood on tho edge of tho cliff awaiting a
lull in tho gale. The attempt now to bo
mado was one ot the most perilous na
ture, and death would bo sure to overtake
the adventurer if his nerve should fail
him. Tho side of the precipice wus
j nearly perpondicular, it shelved in per
haps a few yards in its descent, while its
surface was broken everywhere with fis
' sures and jutting crags. The only pos
! sible means by which the foot of the
precipico could be reached would be by
j tho aid of a polo, used with a quick eye
and stoudy nerve, to fend off tho adven
turer from the side of the cliff. Added
to all this peril, however, was that of tho
darkness. How could a person de
scending tho face of tho cliff on such
a night, guard himself with any
certainty against tho numerous
jutting fragments of the rock ? Or, how
could he, oven if ho could effect his own
descent, ascend again to the edge of the
cliff above with another person? At
length it was arranged that Pierce should
descend at onco by means of a rope, girt
arouud his body, and made fast abovo,
while another ropo should accompany
him down. Then if ho reached tho foot
of tho precipico in safety, cloaks and
blankets should bo lowered to him in
order that the sufferer might bo protected
against the chilling blasts. Everything
having been arranged, the daring advent
urer seized a fuvorublo opportunity dur
ing tho lull of tho gale and commenced
his descent. Tho light of tho fire, us it
shivered on tho dark face of tho preci
pice, and the wild whirlpool of foam bc-
I low, gave an ominous character to all
' around him; but his heart was a strangor
to fear; and skillfully avoiding tho jut
ting angles of tho rock, he reached at
' length the foot of tho cliff', and with a
light bound springing over an intermedi-
I ate chasm, stood by the side of tho fugi- !
1 tive from tho wreck.
Wo shall not attempt to describe her I
emotions during the dizzy descent of j
young Pierco Ryan, nor tho glad cry of i
joy with which she saw him land on tho
rock to which she clung. She would
havo thrown herself at his foot but lie
would not permit it. Raising her up, bo
said:
"Our thanks are. duo to God alone, let
us pray to Him that wo may escape the
peril which yet surrounds us, for I
scarcely know how we can reach the top
of tho cliff. But do not droop, for I
have como to save you or die with you."
Tho fugitive raised her grateful eyes,
and then Pierce saw for the first time that
she was a young girl apparently seven
teen, and of unusual loveliness. Piorco
felt that he could daro tho saino danger
a thousand times to win another such
grateful glance from the eyes of tho
lovely stranger. But tho exposed situ
ation of the rock on which they stood—
for every wave dashed tho cold spray over
| them—soon recalled him to tho necessity
of providing a place of shelter for his
j companion until means should bo found
to raiso her to tho summit of tho cliff*.
With great difficulty, and aided by tho
rope from above, he succeeded in ele
vating her to a narrow shelf of the rock,
some ten feet higher up the face of the
cliff. "I can never sufficiently thank
you," said the grateful girl, "but God
will bless you."
"I see that they are lowering down
cloaks in which to wrap yourself und |
keep out this pitiless storm," said
Pierce.
| The bundlo was by this time swinging
I overhead, and, watching a chance,young
Pierce soon succeeded in catching and
j disentangling it from the rope.
I Happily ho had provided himself ore
,he began his descent with restoratives,
and these ho now applied freely to the
' sinking girl. 110 besought her to walk
I to and fro, on the narrow ledge of rock
jon which they stood. By those offorts
he succeeded in partially reviving her,
' and at the end of half an hour, he saw
with joy unspeakable, that the tempest
had begun to lull. Pierce now gave the
signal to thoso above, and soon a chair
was descending. How ho tremblod with
eagerness during the minutes that
elapsed ero it reached the rock. At
length the chair swung 011 the ledgo ,
where they stood.
Not a moment was to bo lost. Ex- j
horting his cmnpuniou to rally her oner-
I gioß for this last effort, ho lashed her
lirinly in her seat, and seizing the rope
by which the ascent of the chair was to
he guided, gave the signal. The attempt
was perilous to the last degreo, but they
knew that it was the only chance for life
left. With tearful eyes his companion
took leave of him, but Pierce, assuming
a cheerfulness he scarcely felt, bid her
retain her presence of mind and all would
go well. "Oh," said the girl, "it is only
for you I fear now. Mow can you reach
the summit, when there will be 110 0110
below to guide your ascent?"
"Tho God who presservod moonce will
preserve me again, if Ho RCCS tit," said
Pierce. "Before ten minutes I shall be
safe at your sido." With a beating
heart tho young man gazed at the dizzy
course of tho chair. Onco or twice ho
trembled violently as he saw it dospito
all he could do, swinging in daugerous
proximity to a jutting rock, At length
he saw it grasped by two or threo strong
arms. It was drawn inward and then lie
knew that his late companion was safe.
In a few minntes the rope again de
scended and l'ierco Kyan, by incredible
exertions, roached tho summit of the
cliff without injury. The moment his
feet touched the ciiff tho lirst thing his
eyes sought was tho rescued girl, who,
deaf to every entreaty, had watched from
the top of tho cliff until sho saw her
preserver safe.
The rescued girl, whoso name was
Grace Desmond, proved to bo the daugh
ter of a wealthy merchaut in a neighbor
ing town. She was returning from her
education in Borne with her governess.
Pierce Kyan, her preserver, was tho son
>f a well-to-do farmer.
| Tho grateful father deemed it tho
happiest day in his life when ho placod
his daughter's hand in that of her pre
server, and gave her away at the altar
to one who by risking his life for her
when she was a stranger to him, had
proved that ho would he a protoctor to
her in after life when she was known ind
loved.—(Now York News.
Oratory Against Horse Racing.
Jerrv Simpson is not tho man that he
is represented to be by some of the duijy
prints, lie dresses neutly and has (he
appearance of a keon-oyed business man.
lie is called "Sockless Jerry," but he de
clares that since reaching man's estate he
has never worn shoes without socks. Ho
is a fluent talker, and the trouble with
him is that lie does not know when to stop.
At the Alabama State Fair ho wus ad
vertised to stand on a platform with Sen
ator Poffer and delivor a spoech. As
this platform was in the grandstand und
directly opposite tho judges' grandstand,
.Mr. Simpson was advised to cut it short,
so that the rucing programme could be
finished before durk.
Senutor Poffer spoke briefly, keeping
his eyes on his watch and then Mr. Simp
son began to unwind himself. Ho tick
led the Alabama farmers and took no
note of time At 2.30 o'clock tho horses
wore on tho track and ready to score.
David Bonner, presiding judge, did not
liko to be discourteous, but as Mr. Simp
son would not stop,there was 110 help for
it. The bell was sharply rung, und it
drowned for a space ot one minute the
voice of Mr. Simpson. The orator puused
with a smile 011 his face and then calmly
proceeded with his speech. The burses
scored and finally got the word, i'ho
orator kept at it until tho quartor polo
was passed, and then, as his hearers rose
to their foot and grew excited over tho
shifting of positions of tho contestants,
Mr. Simpson rounded a period und
stopped. He watched tho finish of the
heat with some interest, and then wus
lost in tho throng.
I That ovening, at tho dinner table, Mr.
Bonner apologized for his seeming rude
ness, but Mr. Simpson good-naturedly
stopped him. "No explanation is nec
essary. My time was up and I know it.
I simply wanted to seo how long I could
hold an Alabama audionco against tho
race boll. 1 have frequently made tho
experiment in other States, and now I
am satisfied there is nothing inoro mov
ing than a horso trot." As Mr. Simpson
spent his younger clays in Clovolund and
Chicugo, he loarnod a good deal about
the light-harnoßs horso beforo settling
down in Kansas.—[Turf, Field und
Farm.
Bismarck Made Him lMcli.
There was buried in tho little town of
Biesenthul, Germany, a few days ago. u
man who played a part in tho life of Bis
marck. It was Gustav liminewitz. On
May 7, 18G6, Bannewitz, who was then
serving his tlireo years in tho army, was
stationed at tho Russian embassy in Pur
lin, when Blindt iirod a revolver at tho
exchancellor. Tho bullet hit tho prince,
but failed to do him injury on account of
the mail coat which ho wore undor his
uniform. One of tho comic papers in
Berlin asked, sontontiously, at tho time:
"llcrr Yon Bismarck, who is tho black
smith who sews your shirts?" Bannewitz
succeeded in capturing tho criminal and
Bismarck never forgot tho service. Tho
prince became a good customer of tho
little book-bindery which Bannewitz
owned and his patronage made it popular.
During the Franco-Prussian war ho had
him attached to the royal headquarters,
where ho was almost always at his side.
After tho war Bismarck did not loso sight
of the man, who thorcforo died a rich
man, owning several palatial mansions in
Berlin and a large country estate. lie
also received through tho intercessions of
the princo fourteen decorations.—[New
Orleans Picayune.
Olive Trees 2,000 Years Old,
It is almost inexplicable that the vene
rable olive trees should have survived
tho ravacres of so many centuries of
warfare and desolation. Many of them
I aro known to bo from 1,500 to 2,000
' years old, and their gnarled black
trunks aro nearly hollow, while the fresh
branches grow and tho crops succeed
each other above. To those who think
of Athens as she wus and as she is to-day
a feeling of despondency and melancholy
is inevitable, but, considering that du
ring the last few years tho Greeks have
done much to develop their manufactures
and to introduce modern methods into
their employments, that feeling may well
give way to hope for a prosperous future
for tho industries of modern Greece.—
[Now York Press.
Ail Albino Brook Trout.
I havo received from Colonel John Gay
a small albino brook trout, three inches
long, which was presented to him by Mr.
J. 1\ Crevoling, Superintendent of the
; Alloiitown hatchery of tho Pennsylvania
Fish Commission. This little trout has
i pink eyes; tho sides are of a pale straw
) color and described by Colonel Gay as
i sparsely rod spotted in life. Tho fins
are paler than tho botiy and the teeth of
the upper jaw deep brown on their outer
surface. The fish is slightly deformed,
tho portion of the backbono near tho tail
fin being slightly bent downward, while
the lower lobe or tho tail is inoro nearly
horizontal in direction than in tho normal
fish. This albino was hatched in Allen
town from ono of the eggs forwarded to
that station from Corry, Ponn. Super
intendent Groveling has a number of de
! formed trout now living, some of which
' are curiously distorted. 11c says they
i seldom live to a greater age than ten or
eleven mouths.—[Forest and Stream.
A House with 4,000 Rooms.
The Vatican, tho ancient pulaco of the
Popes of Rome, is tho most magnificent
building of tho kind in the world. It
stands on the right bank of tho Tiber, on
t a hill culled the Yaticanus, because tho
Latins formerly worshipped Vaticinium,
i an ancient oracular deity, at that place.
I Kxactly when the building was commen
| cod no one knows. Charlemagne is
; known to have inhabited it ovor u thou
sand years ago. Tho present extont of
! the building is enormous, the number of
rooms, at the lowest computation, being
4,422. Its treasures of murble statues,
ancient gems, paintings, books, manu
scripts, OvJ., are to bo compared only
with thoso in the British Musoum. The
length of the Statue Museum alone is a
fraction over a mile. Conservative wri
ters say that tho gold contained in tho
medals, vessels, chains ami other objects
preserved in tho Vatican would make
more gold coins than tho whole of tho
present European circulation. [St.
Louis Republic.
A REFORM which removes one of tho
most shocking practices of tho Dark
Ages has just been brought about
through a circular sont to all tho
Governors in Finland, declaring tho
auction of paupers and lunutics to be il
legal. Up till now parishes have not
hud asylums and workhouses for the sick
and aged; but overyone who has from
one reason or other had to live on tho
parish has once in every year been sold
|at auction, and given to tho bidder who
I has offered tho lowest tender.
1 THE JOKER'S BUDGET
JESTS 4NI YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE I'RESS.
Bright—Unpoeticul—lf the Cap Fits
—Repartee—Vaulting Ambition,
—A Point Well Taken, Etc., Etc.
RIGHT*
She saw him off upon the train.
And showed that parting was but pain,
'•At every stopping-place." he said,
"Bo sure you write, then go ahead."
—[Judge.
UNPOKTICAL.
"I can't understand these poets. Here's
this Shakespeare fellow talking about
stones preaching sermons."
"There's nothing remarkable about it.
Why, every wagon has a tongue!"—
[Kiuer and Driver.
IF THE CAP FITS.
Girl (at piano, just being singing)—
Man's coming round to tune the piano,
to-morrow.
Friend—li'm! Pity that ho can't tune
voices.
REPARTEE.
Small man (to tall man) —Upon my
word, you are as stupid as you are tall!
Tall man (to small man) —And you are
as clever as you are short.
VAULTING AMBITION.
" Was ho hurt by falling at the hurdio?"
"Yes; but he hopes to got over it."
SHE WAS IN FOR IT, ANYWAY.
"If you take the last pioceof bread on
the plate," said the mother to her
marriageable daughter, "you won't bo
married for seven years."
The young lady broke the bread into
two pieces and took ono piece.
"That's better," said her mischievous
brother, "that reduces the period to three
years and a half."—[New York Press.
KEEP COOL.
Is a lion in the way?
Keep cool;
Toll him that wo respect pride,
Tell him that tho world is wide
And thut ho must stand uside.
Keep cool.
I A SACRIFICE TO TIIE ENGLISH BPARLLOW.
Citizen (to one-eyed man) —My friend.!
lire you one of the victims of the smull I
boy with the airgun?
One-Eyed Man—l am, sir.
"1 should think you would bo on the J
watch for him, hereafter."
"Yes, I am keeping an eyo out for
him."—[Chicago Tribune.
GAVB IT UP AND GUESSED IT.
"What does a volcano do with lava?" I
asked Freddy.
"Give it up," ropliod his father.
"That's right," suid Freddy.—[Har
per's Young People.
A POINT WELL TAKEN.
"You are trying to broak your uncle's
will, 1 believe?"
"Yes."
"How did ho loave his money?''
"lie loft it all to build u monument to
himself."
"And you expect to break the will?"
"Certainly. We inako the point that
no man deserves a monument who thus
choats his relatives."—[New York I'ress.
SOME DAY.
Perhaps some day a blizzard bold
Will come and permanently freeze
The man who talks of days more cold—
Yes, many tiinos us cold as these.
—-'[Washington Star.
TIIE GENIAL CAR DRIVER.
Smith —A now motor for increasing
tho speed of horse cars has been dis- ;
covered.
Jonos—Has it! Well, tho horse cars
don't need it up my way. All 1 have to
do toincroaso the speed of the curs is to
signal to tho driver with my umbrella
that L want to get on board.—[Texas
Sittings.
QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
"Aftor all tho talk about marriage
being a failure I don't see that marriage
is declining."
"No, marriage is not declining; it is
the result of accepting."—[New York
Press.
PERHAPS SHE WAS SARCASTIC.
"You've been courting six years you
say, and proposod to her last night. Did
sho accopt you?"
'She has taken till to-night to think
about it."
"What did she say when you asked
her?"
"She said, 'This is so sudden!' "
AN EAR FOR MUSIC.
Hicks—l think tho baby bus a good
ear for music.
Mrs. liicks—From what do you judge,
dour?
Hicks—Whenever you begin to play,
ho howls.
FIXING THINGS.
Customer (in restaurant) —See here, Mr.
Proprietor, this steak is so tough, I can
scarcely cut it.
Proprietor —We'll mako that all right,
sir. Here, waiter, just hand this gentle
man another knife.
LIFE WOUI.E HE HOLLOW WITHOUT HER.
Fireman —Now then, one at a time —
hurry up, if you all want to get out alive!
Mr. Benthuyre— Save tho cook fust;
we may never bo able to get unother
one!—[Puck.
A HOMELY COMPARISON.
Jeweller —This watch don't require a
key. Y'ou wind it by turning the stem,
so.
Jason (in high glee)— Just like a calf,
ain't it? Twist its tail an' away it goes.
—[Jewellers' Weekly.
A WOMAN'S LETTER.
"Mary," called tho husbund upstairs,
"why don't you come down? llavon't
you finished your lotter yet ?"
"J finished the lotter long ago."
"What keeps you, then ? "
"I am writing tho postscript."
"(Jrucious mo! Have 1 got to mind
this baby two hours longer?"—[New
York Press.
THE SAME, RUT SMALLER.
"What a beautiful carriage that is!"
"Oh, I've owned many of them in my
time."
"Had a big stable and coach-house,
eh?"
"Oh, no—had fourteen children!" —
[Rider and Driver.
REPENTED IN HASTE.
He—They married in haste.
She—And repented at leisure, I sup
pose?
He—No; their repentance was quite as
hasty as their marriage.—[Truth.
REASON FOR BROODING.
"There are times when he is very
gloomy."
"I don't wonder. He calls himself a
self-made man."
A QUEER VIEW OF IT.
"Ho is a very sick man."
"Yes, but the fact that he hangs on so
long is favorable to his recovery."
"I think the contrary, lie grows
weaker every day, and the longer he lives
the greater chance there is of his dying."
CONTENTMENT.
I pushed the wavv golden lock
From off her forohead fair,
And where a frown had lately been
A kiss I printed there.
I hold the tresses shining fair
As yellow buttercup;
" Was that a good kiss, love? " said I,
And she replied, "Bang up."
—[New York Herald.
A FITTING RESPONSE.
Smith (beyond)— Hullo! there's Jones;
he wanted that new suit badly.
Brown—Yes; and he's got it "badly."
SCARCELY SYMPATHETIC.
Miss Leftover—For more than twenty
years this golden cirelet with its spark
of living light had been a bud of promise.
It will yet blossom and bear rich fruit.
Mrs. Do Witt—lndeed? I should
think the frosts of so many winters
would have blasted it? —Jcwollers'
Weekly.
GEORGE'S ARDOR.
Belle—George says he loves the ground
I tread upon.
Blanche—That's unfortunate, for your
father will be certain to insist on your
moving right after tho wedding.
CRUEL.
Effie (to Mrs. Bel weather, who has just
been speaking of Mr. B.) —Why, Mrs.
Belweuther, I thought you hadn't any
husband.
Mrs. B.—Why, of course, I have,
Effie. Do you mean to say that you
don't know Mr. Belweuther?
Effie—Yes, but I didn't suppose that
ho was your husband. I thought you
hadn't any. Papa said you married for
money, and that wus ull you got.
WHY DICK TOOK HIS TIME.
Wife—l wonder why little Dick
doesn't coine home. 1 want him to ruu
on a lot of errands.
Husband —Does ho know it?
Wife—Yes; I told him before ho wont
to school.
Husband (who wus once a boy him
self)— You might have had more sense;
—[Good News.
WHO 18 HE?
Mrs. Ilcrdso—Who is this boy Motion
. that wo read so much about?
! Mrs. Suidso—What do you road about
■ liiin?
Mrs. Hordso—Ho seems to bo always
I being adopted.
TRULY A HELPMATE.
| Husband—My dear, we'll have to
| economize.
Wife—Well, lot's sinoko less.—[Puck.
HE DIDN'T WONDER.
"I do not sloop well nt night?" said
i the lawyer to his physician.
"Which side do you lie on?"
"I can lie on either; it doesn't make
any difference."
"Yes, I ought to have known that. I
don't wonder that you can't sloop."—
[Now York Press.
Lapps at Home.
We visited a Lapp encampment at
Tromso. The schoolboy whose compo
sition on tho noble red man said " Ihe
| Indian washes only once u year; I wish I
j was an Indian," should alter his wish and
| petition to be a Lapp, for there is no ex
j ternul evidence that the latter washes
more than once a lifetime, and that ut
his birth when ho is entirely defence
less. In tho summer a camp of tho
wandering Lapps drive several hundred
of their reindeer to a valley only a few
miles from Tromso, and it was there that
wo saw them. They aro huddled in
dome-shaped huts of stone, turf and
birch bark, full of smoke from a fire in
tho center of tho hut, which finds an exit
only through a hole in the top of tho
structure and through tho door when it
is opened. They have tho yellowish
complexion, high check bones and low
forehead of the Mongolian race. They
are short in stature, dirty, vermin-breed
ing and wrotchod. Tho reindoer is their
| support and treasure. The animal sup
' plies them with milk, meut, clothes aud
, transportation. Nearly everything that
I they need is made from some part of this
useful animal. These particular Lapps
: earn something by the sale to summer
tourists of tho skin and articles made
from the horns of tho reindoer. Tho no
j inndic Lapps and Finns of northern Nor
way and Sweden are comparatively few in
' number, miserable, seini-barburous. But
the Finns in Hussiun Finland, whom we
saw afterward on our way from Stock
j holm to St. Petersburg, are a very differ
; cmt sort of people, settled traders and
fishermen, with well-built cities of consid
erable size, like Helsingfors.—[Wash
j ington Star.
She Knew Mr. Simpson.
Two refined-looking Indies sat in the
members' gallery of tho House of Re
presentatives picking out the various
statesmen on tho floor with the aid of tho
chart in tho Congressional Directory.
A rather loudly attired young lady
sauntered in and took a seat beside them.
"Do toil mo where Jerry Simpson is,"
exclaimed the newcomer; "1 have heard
so much about him."
One of the Indies pointed out tho Alli
ance Kansan in tho arena beneath.
"Oh no, that isn't Jerry Simpson,"
protested the loud young lady confidenti
ally. "I would know him because I have
seen his pictures."
"And I have known Mr. Simpson for
some timo myself," replied tho lady.
"Well, ho does not seem to be such a
badlooking man after all," the vociferous
young lady commented after a careful
scrutiny. "I wonder if ho brought his
wife with him."
"I believe she is in tho city," the
quiet lady asserted.
"I would like to see lior, too. They
do say she isn't so very awful. llow do
you supposed she likes ull tho things tho
papers say about him." And tho fashion
able maiden rattled away several con
jectures in regards to Mrs. Simpson.
"She doesn't mind it," responded til*
elder lady.
"Do you know Mrs. Simpson, too?"
inquired the young sightseer.
"Very well," remarked the other
serenoly. "I am Mrs. Simpson."
The following prooeedimgs were bereft
of interest for the ono in modish array,
who did not stand on the order of her de
parture.—[Washington Post.
AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE.
A Crazed Engineer on a Locomotive
Pursues an Express Train.
"Whenever I read of a railway
accident," said Mr. F. R. Wagner ut the
Southern Hotel, "I ain reminded of the
awful experience I wont through once on
a southern road. I had taken a Pullman
from Montgomery, Ala., for Meridian,
Miss., about 90 miles away. The train
left Meridian late at night or rather very
early in the morning, and I was dead
tired when 1 boarded it and ut once
turned in. It must have been about 5
o'clock in the morning when I awoke
suddenly. It seemed to me ns if thore
had been some terrific shock which had
caused iny sudden arousal, but looking
out of the window the landscape flew
past as usual and the train was evidently
bowling along at its regular 30 miles an
hour. I was about to lay my head on
the pillow again, when there came a
second violent shock almost throwing me
out on the floor. I got out of my berth
instant.er, and the first thing I saw was
the Pullman conductor and porter crouch
ing down in the rear part of tho car
looking back over tho track. I followed
the direction of their gaze, or rather I saw
what they were looking at almost as soon
ns I did them. About 50 feet away in
tho gray of the morning, loomed up a
big engine thut seemed to my excited
imagination to be of monstrous size. It
wus gaining on us at every puff. Sud
denly it put on a bnrst of speed and be
fore we could draw our breaths tho front
of the engine struck our car with the tre
mendous crash I had felt before. Then
the pursuer checked up and fell back to
some distance as before. "What docs
it mean?" I asked the conductor and
porter. They were frightened nearly to
death, and the latter came nearer being
a white man than he ever had before in
his life. "Why, can't you see?" was
the conductor's reply. "It's a wild en
gine." The cuginoor had heretofore not
been visible, but now ho catno climbing
forward, over the foot-board, seeming to
retain his footing with ease, as tho snort
ing monster rocked to and fro like a ship in
a storm. Ho stood on top of the cow
catcher, just below tho headlight and
watched us with a sullen face.
• It's George Poabody," exclaimed tho
conductor. Pcabody had been discharged
from tho employ of the company a few
days before for drunnkenness while on
duty, and he was said to have gone off
on a prolonged sprco. He watched us
with his sinister eyes from the front of
his engine, his face never moving a mus
cle, but sot with a sullen, determined
purpose. It was evidently the determi
nation of insanity. Then ho walked
back to his cub. By this time the train
conductor, tlie brnkomcn and the porter
were all buck in tho Pullman, and they
realized the situation at a glance.
"We've got to keep ahead of him, that's
all," said the train conductor, and ho at
once ran forward to tho engine. Soon
there was a jerk, and wo in
creased our spocd ton miles an
hour in a few minutes It was
none too soon, for as wo did
so tho puffs of smoke from tho
smoko stack behind us came faster, and
again the big engine came at us like a
buttering rain. Tho maniac miscalcu
lated this time, however, and lie could
not quite touch us, but his iron stool
snorted along 10 feet bohind, unable to
come nearer, while tho engineer watched
us with his dull eyes from tho cab win
dow. Soon his head disappeared, and
above the rattle and roar ot tho train wo
could hear him viciously shoveling coal
into the furuaee. Tho effect was soon
perceptible. Ho looked at us again,
pulled tho throttle wide open, and again
his engine bumped us, though not nearly
so hard ns before. The conductor had
roturned, and us tho engine hit us ho
drew a revolver. lie suid nothing, but
puLed the door slightly ajar and waited.
Soon tho head of tho maniac, with its
longhair and sullen fuce, appeared at tho
cab window. Tho conductor raised his
gun, took good aim and fired. Tho head
was withdrawn. Tho speed of tho
locomotive behind us continued
unchanged. "I don't know whether I
hit him or not, hoys, but I
hope so," said tho conduotor,
"it's our lives against his. We've got on
all the steam we can carry, and ourcoal's
nearly out." While this was going on
wo had shot through Marion and York
like a cannon bull, catching but a
glimpse of one or two scared faces of
early risers on the platforms as wo How
past. Wo were Hearing Moridan, and if
we did not slack up in an hour's tirno
there would be a collision. Fortunately
there was a clear track to Meridun as our
train was the fast ox press. For fifteen
minutes wo Blood there straining our
eyes in the growing light to cutch u
glimpse of some sign of life on tho en
gine behind us. None came, it kopt its
terrific speed as wo did ours always re
maining a few feet bohind. Tho conduc
tor signalled to slow up; then to reverse
and as wo gradually slackened speed the
big engine touched our back platform.
Our engine was reversed and for a time
it was steam against steam. Then tho
conductor said "I'm going back," and
grasping his revolver, scrambled back on
the cow catcher. Ho all but missed his
hold, but fortunately recovered himself
and creeping back along tho foot board
peered cautiously into tho cab. Then he
entered and for a moment or two wo were
in suspense. Then tho speed of the
monster behind ns slackened und soon wo
both stopped. Wo all ran back to tho
wild engine. Tho conductor was bend
ing over tho lunatic, who lay prone on
the floor of tlje cab, a round red hole in
his forehead. Tho bullet hud gone home.
Well, the sequel is short. Tho conduc
tor was tried for murder, but of course
was acquitted. Had wo gone on at tho
ruto wo were flying for ten minutes moro
wo would have reached Meridian and a
collision was inevitable.—[St. Louis Star
Sayings.
Rearing of Canaries.
Generally the male canary is a good
{mrent und helps the hen to feed and even
>rood tho young. When this disposition
of the bird exists, the pair are left to
gether, when the cock, on the hatching
of a young bird, will go to tho food and
carry some of it in his bill and give it to
the young one. But as a rule it is host
to he on the safe side and remove the
male bird as soon as tho hen has begun
to tako to the nest. There are several
useful little and cheap books on the sub
ject of rearing these little pots that may
be procured of the dealers.—[New York
Times.
A quaint conceit in card cases is that
of the lizard skin case in the lizard's
green color, with a small lizard of gold
and diamonds writhing across ono corner
of tho cover. All the bowknots and true
lovers' knots and hearts aro still used as
tho corner decoration of tho card case.
Flour do lys in silver or gold aro sprink
led across tho '.'orners or over the wholo
surface of the caso, which is corded at
the odgo with silver, according to tho
fashion introduced last year.
NOTES AND COMMENTS.
A FRENCH statistician calculates that
the aggregate wealth held by millionaires
in civilized countries amounts to about
$5,000,000,000, tho entire number of
millionaires to bo about 950, of whom
250 are in Great Britain, 200 in the Uni
ted States, 100 in South America, 100 in
Germany, 75 in Franco, 50 in Russia, 50
in India and 125 in other countries.
TUB finest garnets and nearly all the
peridotes found in the United States are
obtained in tho Navajo Nation, in the
northwestern part of New Mexico and the
northeastern part of Arizona, where they
are collectod from ant hills and scorpion
nests by Indians and by the soldiers
stationed at adjacent forts. Generally
these gems are traded for stores by the
Indians at Gallup, Fort Defiance, Fort
Wingate, etc., whence they are sent to
large cities in tho East in parcels weigh
ing from half an ounce to 30 poundsor 40
pounds. These garnets, which are locally
known as Arizonia and New Mexico
rubies, are the finest in tho world, rival
ing those from tho Cape of Good Hope.
Fine gems weighing from two to three
carats each and upward when cut are
not uncommon.
CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER, in the
Editor's Drawer of Harper's Magazine,
proposes a novol plan by which life may
be inverted, and most of the ills which
now alHict mankind may be avoided.
"This plan," he says, "has more to
recommend it than most others for re
moving poverty and equalizing con
ditions. We should all start rich, and
the dying off of those who would never
nttaiu youth would amply provide for
tunes for thoso born old. Crime would
be less also; for whilo there would,
doubtless, be some old sinners, the crim
inal class, which is very largely under
thirty, would be much smaller than it is
now. Juvenile depravity would pro
portionally disappear, as not more peo
ple would reach nonage than now reach
over-age. And the groat advantage of
tho scheme, one that would indeed trans
form the world, is that women would al
ways bo growing younger."
THE first land which has undertaken
tho legal registration of hypnotism is
Belgium. A few days ago tho Legisla
lature adopted a law which, in all proba
bility, will serve as a model for tho legis
lative action of other countries. It de
clares that any ono who exhibits publicly
a person hypnotized by himself or others
will be punished by imprisonment rang
ing from two weeks to six months, and
be finod from $5 to $200; that any one
not in possession of a physician's diploma
who hypuotizes a person under 20 years
of age, or not in tho full possession of
his faculties, will ho punished by im
prisonment and line, whether the subject
bo exhibited or not; and that any one
who allows a hypnotized person to sign
a document or paper, whatever its
nature, with the object of fraud, will bo
punished by imprisonment. The same
penalty threatens a person who attempts
to uso a document signed by one while
hypnotized. Tho people of Belgium
have welcomed the adoption of tho now
law.
SIR EDWARD REED'S plan for construct
ing a railway across tho British Channel
is to lay two mammoth tubes of stoel
plute and concrete, twenty feet in
diameter. The tubes would be mado in
lengths, and when two lengths were
completed they would ho joined together
in a parellel fifty feet apart and floatod
out into tho Chanuol to bo attached to
tho completed length. All tho work is
to bo done above water. Thus, the end
of the completed tube is to bo kopt afloat
until a fresh length is joined on. Then
that will bo allowed to sink, and tho last
attached part will form the end of tho
completed part. This plan has already
been practised with success in America
in carrying tho pipe, forty inches in
diameter, for n waterworks a long dis
tance across a body of salt water. In
that case the engineer in charge invented
a joint which rcmuined tight as tho com
pleted tube first hung in a curve, and
ufterwurd adjusted itself to tho bottom
on which it cuine to lie.
TIIE pluns for the projected Protest
ant Episcopal Cathedral of St. John tho
Divine, in New York, have finally been
adopted. Tho cathedral will be built in
the form of a cross. Tho total external
length will be 520 feet. Tho width across
the front, 190 feet; width across tho
transepts, 290 feet; height of central
spire, 425 feet from the floor of Cathedral;
from level of city, 525 feet. Tho width
of front towers will bo 57 foot, and their
height 240 feet. Width of four flunking
towers, 43 foot; height, 100 feet; total
exterior diameter of central towor, 110
feet; interior diameter, 9(5 feet; height
of vaulting. 230 foot; depth of ehancel,
120 feet; width of nave and chancol to
centers of piers, 00 feet; length of nave,
180 feet; width from vestibule, 27 feet;
height of navo vaults, 105 feet; height
of chancel vaults, 115 foot; height of
front gables, 155 feet. Tho cathedral
will stand on tho highest, or nearly tho
highest, ground in Manhattan Island,
and its first floor will bo fully 100 feet
above tho level of the city.
THE Chicago Tribune, which thinks
that tho wife of Columbus has boon
neglected, gives this sketch of her:
"Columbus was marriod in 1470, or
thereabouts, to a Miss Palestrollo, of
Lisbon, whose father had distinguished
himself as a navigator. A part of Miss
Palestrello's murriuge dower was u great
collection of valuable charts, journals
and important memoranda. From child
hood she had displayed wonderful enthu
siasm on tho subject, partaking to u
marked degree of the speculative and ad
venturesomo ideas and schemes in tho
lino of geographical discovery for which
Lisbon was tho hoadquarters. Bhe pos
sessed a fine education, and was widely
known as a brainy, brilliunt woman, who
was constantly urging her husband on in
the path which finally brought him to the
wonderful goal with which wo aro so
familiar. While a girl Miss Palestrollo
made a number of hazardous voyages
with her father in unfamiliar waters, and
later many geographical drawings, sever
al of which were used with great profit by
Columbus when he had won her for his
wife and set out upon his more important
wanderings on the great deep. '1 here is
probably no picture of this brave, tal
ented woman extant, but certainly it
would seem a gracious and most fitting
thing that her memory receive some
tribute upon the forthcoming occasion.'
The First Red Hat.
The red hat was first bestowed upon
cardinals by Leo IV at tho Council of
Lyons in 1245. It is probable that as
red was in tho middle ages a royal color,
worn only by kings and members of
royal families, huts and gowns of this
color were bestowed on cardinals to indi
cate that thenceforth they would rank
with kings and princes. A cardinal is
popularly styled a prince of the church,
and in medieval times the Pope's legate
often took precedence even of royalty.
—[San Francisco Chronicle.