THE VOICES OF EARTH.
We have not heard the music of the spheres,
The song of star to star; but there are
sounds
More deep than human joy or human tears.
That nature uses i" her common rounds;
The fall of streums, the cry of winds that
strain
The oak, the roaring of the sea's sirgs,
might
Of thunder breaking afar off. or rain
That foils by minutes in the summer night.
These are the voiees of earth's secret soul,
Uttering the mystery from which she cme;
To biui who hears them grief beyond control,
Or joy inscrutable without a name
Wakes in his heart thoughts buried there,
impearled
Before the birth and making of the world.
—[Archibald Lam;.'raan, in Scribner.
COLONEL BMINARD'S OATH.
A TRUE STORY. *4^®*
The morning was lovely. The sky
was cloudless. The air wus sweet with
many odors. A soft, cool wind swept by
now and then, shuking the shimmering
raindrops from leaf and twig and slender
grass-blade. Yet, despite the sweet
placidity of the morning, evidences of
the terrible storm that raged all the night
before was on every hand.
Tho little village of Murshville, Me.,
most conclusively bore witness to the fact
that a storm in all its fury had visited it,
by its torn and twisted elms, its muny
houses without chimney-tops, its orchards
wherein the hulf-grown fruit lay in wind
rows 011 the short orchard grass, and its j
fields of badly-lodged corn.
Tho storm was the universal topic of
conversation among the village people i
that morning. Groups of men, their
heavy eyes telling of long hours of
anxious wukofulness, gathered ou the
street corners, compared notes. Each
told how the house shook and the beds
rocked when the wind put its great
shoulder uguinst the house, how fright
ened Hannah or Martha was, how his j
apple crop was a dead loss, how that I
"splendid piece of corn of mine would '
never straighten up again in tho world, j
sir," and what trees on his little domain
were down, trees that he "wouldn't have
taken a hundred dollars fori" And yet,
running through it all, was a little vein
of half-concealed pride in the fact that'
the wind had frolicked so roughly with I
their possessions.
"Well, neighbors," said a cheery- 1
faced member of one of these little
groups, "I think there's a good deal to
be thankful for. W 0 can't expect sun- j
shine with gentle winds all the time. I I
s'pose these great storms are just as j
nocessary as our 'clearing-up-fires' are
in tho spring. Why, just think how hot j
it was yesterday forenoon! Then the j
Lord sent a big storm, and all the dam- j
age it done was to throw down a few)
bricks and a few apples or so, and didn't 11
harm a hair of our heads. Now see how ! ,
clean and fresh everything is to-day?
I tell you He's pretty good to us, taking 1
it all rouud."
"You don't believe that anyone had
anything to do with last night's storm,
do you, 8tory?" queried a sarcastic voice,
and a tall, commanding-looking man
joined the group. "Haven't I heard a
quotution from some old book or other
that runs like this: 'The wind blowcth
whero it Hsteth?'"
The other's face flushed, but he an
swered sturdily: "And this is another
quotation from the same good old book:
'And He arose and rebuked the wind and
said unto the sea, peace, be still! And
the wind ceased and there was a great
calm.' It's God Almighty's wind, Col.
Brainard."
Tho other laughed scoffingly, while a
look impossible to describe hardened the
lines of his fucc into iron.
"Well, then, His wind blew down mv
barn last night. Now, I call upon you
all to hear witness to the thing that I
swear 11 will build n barn that God Al
mighty can't blow down."
Tho glow on Story's face faded to
ashen gray. lie said slowly, 'And I call
upon all to bear witness to this thing,
also, that Colonel Brainard will yet be
utterly ashamed of the oath he has sworn
before you."
Again came that scoffing laugh.
"Don't be so solemn about it, Neigh
bor Story! My barn will yet stand he
fore your eyes, and I will build it too
strong for God Almighty's winds. Do
you hear, neighbor?"
Amasa Story turned on his heel and j
walked away.
1 he town of Marshville was halved by
a wide, deep, still-flowing river. The
largest half of tho town was built on an
eminence on tho south bank of the river.
The Brainard Place, as it wus called, was
built on tho eminence on tho north hank
of the river and at some little distance
from the village proper. And so. us
there were no houses or buildings of unv I
description to obstruct tho view, one
standing in the village streets and look
ing up the river could get a good view of
the Brainard Place. The second weok
after the great storm tho village was all
wonderment. Four slow-going, patient
oxen wore dragging an enormous stick of
timber through the quiet streets.
"Hello, Brown!" shouted one of the
villagers to the teamster, "where's that
big fellow going?"
"Ihat's for Colonel Brainard's new
barn,''was tho reply; and then every
body knew that the Colonel's oath was no
idle one.
A few days later the Colonel stopped 1
nt the village store. It was just at edge
of the evening. It had not grown dark I
as yet, for u soft ninber light flooded the
skies and enwrapped the earth. It was i
just the time when the store was full of
villagers making their purchases for tho
morrow and getting the news of the day :
to carry home.
" Boys !" called out the Colonel in his
bluff, hearty voice, 44 come up to tho !
4 raising' to-morrow ! I need a good
deal of help about this one, I can tell you! ■
Come up. neighbors ! Story, I shall '
count on you anyway ! You'll be there,
won't you?"
"Not I, Colonel!" answered Story,
seriously, but pleasantly. 44 I'm just as
much obliged, but I ain't flying in the
face of Providence this year."
The 44 raising " was a grand success,
and all who attended it came back with
the most vivid accounts of the strength
of the new barn and the immensity of its
timbers.
In a day or two afterward, Colonel
Brainard again stopped at tho villugo
storo.
44 Story !" he called, 44 come out here,
cun't you? I want to see you about a
little matter."
Story rose to his feet and walked out
to the Colonel's carriage.
44 What is it, Colonel ?"
Brainard put bis hand on Story's
shoulder and pointed up the river.
" Well, Story I want you to sec some
thing, for of conrsc you haven't noticed
it before; I want you to see that frame
up there on the Brainard Placo ! What
do you Uiiuk of it ? "
"I think it is a pretty strong one,
Colonel," was the frank reply: "In fact,
1 know it is, for I have been told over
and over again by the best of judges,
that from ridgepole to plate, and from
plate to sill, it is just as strong as huge
beams, iron rods and steel bolts can
make it; but, Colonel, you and I are
both lumbermen; and more than once we
have seen great tracts of timber, through
which the wind had hewed itself a path,
and do you remember ever seeing a tree
left standing in auy one of those
paths? And did you ever think of what
a tremendous force it must have been
that took hold of those big trees and
pulled them up out of the ground just as
quickly and easily as a dentist would pull
a tooth? If I were you, Colonel, I guess
I would take it all back, and not pit
man's little strength against the mighty
arm of the Lord!"
"If you were ine!" said the Colonel,
mockingly. "But you're not me, Story,
and I, Brainard, don't take back any
thing I say, very often. You're on the
losing side, Brother Story I Don't forget
that!"
As the days went by it became evident
j that Colonel Brainard did not intend that
| Amasa Story should have a chance to
forget it. Every time he saw Story he
never failed to remind him in the most
! offensive manner of the fact that the
barn still stood firm and strong upon its
foundations, " and will stund, Brother
Story, until time rots the timbers and
rusts out the bolts!"
And Story would answer cheerily:
"The Lord has got lots of patience,
Colonel!"
Winter came on. Colonel Brainard
and Amusu Story both engaged in exten
sive lumbering operations in tho great
forests in the northern part of their na
tive State, and did not see each other
again for some mouths; but with llio re
turn of spring, logs and lumbermen cuine
down the river.
Colonel Brainard got home first. Ho
was in the best of spirits. His winter's
work had brought him a great deal of
money, and naturally he felt rather jubi
lant. As soon as he heard that Story
had got home ho mado ull haste to go to
the village.
1 "Hello, Story!" he shouted as soon as j
ho caught sight of Story's cheery face, i
"when did you get home?"
"Just come, Colonel!" answered the
other heartily. "What's tho news?
Everybody all well up to your place?"
I "Pretty well, Story; pretty well; and
come to think of it, neighbor, why didn't
you inquire about the barn, also? Don't
forget that barn, Story! I want you to
keep an eye on that barn," said the Col
onel with the same oldmooking inflection
in his voice.
| Story colored furiously. He had for
■ fotten all about their dissension in his
I joy at getting home, and his pleasure in
seeing his old friends; and to have his
friendly inquiries met in this way, was
almost too bad. But, controlling his
temper, he answered with something of
an effort:
"No need of me, Colonel! The Lord
has got llis eye 011 that barn fast
enough!"
| Somehow the Colonel could not seem
!to get those words out of his mind, al
though the impression they made on him
did not hinder him from uttucking his
victim every time be came within sound
of his voice.
Matters went on after this fashion
until mid-summer. One day about the
last of July, the sun rose in the morning
just like a ball of red-hot iron. All tho
forenoon the very air had a quivering
appearance, as though it were panting in
the intense heat, and the glare of the
sunshine was blinding. But, in the
afternoon, a soft haze came into the air
and somo flecy clouds crept over tho face
of the sun. Now and then there was a
a little whiff of wind.
I Late in the afternoon, a bank of gray
I clouds softly rollod up in the West.
There was nothing particularly alarming
about them. They were not dark or
thunderous looking, but were simply a
soft, fleecy mass of misty cloud; but some
how they seemed to bring with them a
deathly stillness that settled down over
everything, " fold upon fold;" and its
influence wus felt by oven Colonel Brain
ard himself.
He harnessed up his horse, and down
town ho came. Story and a number of
his friends were standing on the steps of
the village store, busily, though quietly,
talking politics; and thus did not notice
Colonel Brainard until he drew rein be
fore them.
At the sight of the Colonel, Story, who
happened to be speaker at tho moment,
abruptly stopped. By this time he
dreaded the sight of that dark, mocking
voice; but the Colonel did not mention
his favorite subject as soon as he saw
Story, us usual, but instead he said
anxiously:
"Boys, I wish you'd take a look at
those clouds yonder. Somehow I don't
like the looks of them."
Of course every one instantly looked
eagerly in tho direction toward which
the Colonel pointed.
"Don't see anything alarming ahout
them," said one; "though it does seem
as though they were pretty iieur us, now
don't it?" 1
"Well," said another judicially, "it
does seem so. that's a fact! And there's
one place right back of the village here,
that looks pretty dark. Do you see it? "
"Story, what do you think about it?"
queried the Colonel.
Story gave one quick look at the
Colonel's face and then tun si his face
buck to the cloudy sky without one word
in reply. The Colonel laughed loud and
long.
"Oh, ho! Brother Story, haven't you
got a word to say? Come, it's time for
you to own up beat! It's no time to hold
out any longer. I believe that every inan
that stood on that street corner that morn
ing after the storm is right here now.
Do you remember what I swore, Story,—
that I would build me a ham that God
Almighty could not blow down?"
"I remember!" (nine the answer; but
the speaker never took his eyes off those
silent clouds.
"And I swear it again, right -here,
face to face with those clouds you arc
studying, Brother Story. Come, face
round here, my friend; I hate to talk to
j the hack of a man's head."
Story never moved,
j "Do you give it up?" went on the
mocking voico. "Of course, you remem
ber what you said at the street corner
that morning!"
As one having ears hears not, Storv
half-faced round. "Hush!" he said
| sternly. Silence fell over the little
I group; and through tho stillness a
! strange, low sound reached them. In
stantly every man turned his eyes to the
west. "Look!" said Story, in a hushed
voice.
There was no need of the admonition.
| Every oye was fastened on a little dark
cloud that had swung itself loose from
| the rest. The strange, low sound deep.
, cned. The Colonel's horse pricked up
his ears, worked his delicate nostrils
affrightedly, then shuddered all over
The Colonol's hand tightened instlnctive-
J ly an tb* rein, but he had no reussuring
word for the quivering animal that he
had petted from a tiny colt. Somehow
his throat hud become hard and dry. lie
heard nothing but that weird sound, saw
nothing but that little swirling, black
cloud.
It was forty years ago that the events
of our story happened, long before the
word "cyclone" with all its dread signifi
cance was a household word, aud they
happened, also, in a State that to this
day knows but little about those terrible
windstorms. Hut the terror of this
strange, grewsome thing, whose roaring
now filled the air, was sufficient of itself
to smite all color from the bronzed faces
of that group of lookers-on and chill
them to the marrow with fear.
Lightly,us u thistle-down, turning and
twisting, seemingly a plaything of the
air, it sped along over the fields on the
south bauk of tlio river. At first it was
a round mass something like a huge can
non ball, then shaped by viewless hands
it took on a funnel-shape; finullv it
started straight us a line for the river
bank. A group of tall elms stood in its
way. The soft cloud touched them and
then tfwept 011. A few ragged and mut
ilated trunks pointed to the sky, brunch,
twig and emerald leaf twisted away by
ruthless force. It swooped down on to
the river, which was full of logs. A
river man was standing 011 one of the
great log-booms at work. The voiceless,
motionless lookers-on saw him face
round, and then the next instant lie had
dropped into the water and was clinging
desperately to the boomstick, then the
cloud hid him from view. On sped the
cloud. For one instant they turned
their eyes from the cloud to the place
where they saw the lumberman. He was
safe, though his face, which was just
emerging froin the water, was as white as
a patch of foam. Then they turned to
tho cloud again.
It sped up the river bunk, aiming as
straight as an arrow sped from a taut
strung bow for the Brainard barn. The
soft cloudy mass readied it, and never
hulted an instant as though hindered, but
lightly and steadily kept on its way. But
for uli that, the thing happened that every
' man hud hud a distinct presentiment
would happen,—of that great, solid-built
barn, not one timber was left upon an
other. Full to the rafters with an abun- ,
dant harvest, with six great river-bat- !
teaux piled around it, in the twinkling of
an eye, barn and batteaux were snatched
away, and not a vestige of either left.
I The noise of the cyclone died away,
j Colonel Brainard and Amusu Story
' swung around and faced each other,
j There wus too much of a terrible fear, of
an amazement beyond words in the eyes
of one to express defeat, too much of a
solemn awe in the eyes of the other to ex
press triumph.
"Behold lie taketh away, who can
hinder ifim?" said the skeptic slowly;
and never afterward was he heard to
speak lightly of llini who "holds the
wind in llis list."—[Portland Tran
script.
Got Even with the Postman.
A Chicago man tolls a Herald reporter
how he got even with a letter-carrier.
He says: "My office is several stories up
in a down-town office building and übout
half the time this letter-carrier would
leave a letter addressed to mo on the
floor below with some othor firm, so that
I wouldn't get it till a day luter. I
kicked vigorously, but the carrier talked
back and became impudent, and at lust
I saw I would have to discipline him. So
I looked up a map with an eight-foot
width. This I wrapped up carefully
in a tight roll, did it up in a stout paper,
marked it 'Map' and addressed it to my
self. Then I went over to tho Post Office
and had it weighed for posfago. It cost
me G4 cents to send that map to myself,
but I called that cheap.
"The next day the carrier lugged that
8-foot map uj> to my office with ill-dis
guised resenttulness. You see iny office
was some distance out on his route, and
ho had to curry tho awkward article
uround for over half an hour before he
could deliver it.
"I pasted 64 cents' worth of new I
stamps on it, addressed it to myself anew
and k sent a boy over to tho Post Office
with it that afternoon. Tho next rnoru
i ing the carrier delivered it again, along
? with sundry muttered oaths. I received
: it smilingly, but noticed a blue pencil X
, mark on it, put there, I guessed, by the
carrier, who Buspected my game. I let
the mark remain, but pasted on new
stamps and sent it to the Post Oflice. On
the morrow tho carrier boiled over.
Asked me if I thought that was smart,
and hinted that he would make cum
• plaint to the postal authorities. I smiled
' and began pasting on new stamps in his
presence. lie went away swearing
I dreudfully.
"I kept that up for a week or more,
' and then, the carrier being still war-like,
1 I doubled up on the trips and sent tho
j map back to the oflice each morning in
time for the afternoon delivery. This
brought it to me twice a day, and at tho
I end of three days the carrier weakened
and pleaded for mercy, whereupon I
asked him if he thought wo could get
1 along amicably. He said he thought we
could, and I said I was willing to try.
We have hud no trouble since."
Water an Anaesthetic*
Aruther remarkable discovery has just
been made by Dr. C. L. Sleich, of Ber
lin, Germany. He was conducting ex
periments with a view to determine how
weak a solution of cocoaine would prove
efficacious as a locul anesthetic in minor
1 surgical operations, when he stumbled on
i the fact that simple water injected under
• j the skin with a syringe rendered the flesh
1 at that point insensible to pain.
i The effect of the water is to create a
- slight swelling resembling that caused by
thestingof u gnut. The space marked
- by the swelling remains Insensible to
i pain for some minutes, so that incisions
can be made without cuusing the slight
t est pain. The method of procedure is
e very simple. The skin at the point
where the injection is to ho made is first
, made perfectly aseptic, then the point of
e u Pravaz syringe tilled with distilled
b | water is inserted. The syringe is slowly
) j emptied, and a white blister appears,
I stmilar to that caused by a gnat's sting,
i The size of the swelling will depend upon
r the amount of water used. A half min
. ute after the syringe is withdrawn, tho
r space distinctly marked by the blister is
insensible, and can bo cut into without
v cuusing pain. The pain caused by tho
(1 insertion of the syringe can be at once
e ( allayed by spraying with ether,
a I To what extent this novel discovery
i- will prove of practical worth in surgery
c j cannot yet be- determined. Dr. Sleich
d made uso of it in the ease of a huge car
buncle on the upper thigh. After tho in
i. jection of water the doctor laid tho car
le I buncle open by cross incisions eight
n | centimeters in length, and scooped out
>- the dead tissue, the patient declaring
p that the operation gave slight pain. This
Is | treatment has no ill-effect on the healing
r , of the wound. In the case mentioned tho
- ; cuts at oneo reunited and healed per
i£ fectly.
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
or THE I'KESS.
Disenchantment—Needed Assistance
—All's Well That Ends Well—Be
fore the Engagement* Etc., Etc.
DISENCHANTMENT.
I wrote her an elegant poem
That bristled with fancies sublime;
It o'erflowed with the fervor of pussion,
And my heart to its music kept time.
I gave it, and asked her to read it,
And awaited my destiny mute;
When she finished she looked up and gig
gled
And murmured, "Oh, isn't it cute?"
—[New York Herald.
SEEDED ASSISTANCE.
Policeman (after midnight)—-Here,
move on.
Bilkins—lt'sh all (hie) right, officer; I
live hero. J shay, officer.
"Well, what is it?"
"I shay. You take thish key and
(hie) open thish door and go quietly up
stairs an' shee if my wife's asleep."
"llumph! Suppose she shouldii tbe
üßleep, then what?"
"Well, if (hie) she mishtakes you for
me you (hie) you'd better run."—[New
York Weekly.
"ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL."
"Then you reject me?" he said, sadly.
"Yes," she replied, gently.
"Then," said he with a deep sigh, "it
appears I've been hugging a delusion."
"1 beg your pardon; you have never
hugged uuythiug since you came here.
If you had" perhaps it might have been
different. Perhaps I "
He at once proceeded to correct his
mistake, and in a few moments the old
relations were restored. —[New York
Press.
UEFORE THE ENGAGEMENT.
She—You have no bud habits?
He—No.
She—You aro of good family and
wealthy, I know.
He—l am.
She—Will you let me have my own
way in everything?
He—Always.
She—And—l almost forgot—you love
me?
He— I adore you!
She—Well, perhaps, mamma will not
object.—[New York Herald.
A COOL REL'LV.
All Indian prince, remarkable for his
pride and ill-humor, once walking to tin*
window of his presence chamber with a
foreign ambassador, said to him:
"Do you know, sir, tliat one of iny an
cestors forced a person of your de
scription from this balcony into the
street."
"It may be so," was the reply, "but
probably it was not the fashion then,
as it is now, for ambassadors to wear
swords."
A COY LITTLE THING.
Fanny—Weren't you horribly embar
rassed when he proposed so abruptly on
such short acquaintance?
Maggie—Yes; if he had not happened ,
to he holding iny hand ut the time I be- !
lieve I should have sunk to the Hour. — |
[Epoch.
THE EGOTIST.
Most men have hobbies—this one books,
that fame, the other pelf—
But heaven protect us from the man
whose hobby is himself.
—[New York Press.
HEARSAY EVIDENCE.
"Your husband," said the caller, syin
puthizingly, "wus u man of many excel
lent qualities."
"Yes," sighed the widow. "He was a
good man. Everybody says so. I
wasn't much acquuiuted with him my
self. lie belonged to six lodges." —[Chi-
cago Tribune.
IIK COULDN'T BLAME HER.
"llowdidyou feel when Miss Long
head became a sister to you? "
"I could not help feeling that she had
taken a wise course, althougli the family
is becoming uluriningly large."
A MORE IMPORTANT POINT.
Jock —Amy, we shall have to elope.
Would you marry without your parents'
consent?
Amy—Of course I would; but, oh,
Jack, how about the wedding presents?
A RURAL EXPERIENCE.
"What kind of seeds ought I to plant,
Uncle Si, to get a good squash crop?"
"Squash, o' course. What did yer sup
pose? Lilocks?" —[Epoch.
NEVER OMIT THAT.
I)r. Fitter—Then you could do nothing
whatever for the patient?
Dr. Paresis—No; except send in my
bill, of course. —[Epoch.
GONE,AN UMBRELLA.
Johnson —Confound that Tomson!
Mrs. J.—What's the matter?
Johnson —He has just gone und taken
one of my umbrellas. It is nothing short
of a crime to take an umbrella, and it is
u piece of carelessness and thoughtless
ness that is condoned too often. It—
hello, what's this?
Mrs. J.—What is it, John?
Johnson (gleefully)—Tomson took one
of my umbrellas, but left another one—
a better one. Here, run and hide it. He
may discover his mistake and be back
any minute. —[Yankee Blade.
PARTLY RIGHT.
Arrayed in summer garments,
The maiden sweet and shy
I thought as fair a vision
As ever met the eye.
She said she was a poem,
So beautiful was she,
And they were partly right, I find,
For she's averse to inc.
—[New York Press.
IN AUTUMN.
" All things now intoxicate,"
The raptured poet said.
" 'Tistrue," replied the wit, "for now
Doth nature paint things red."
AWAY FROM THE SEASIDE.
Clerk (in fierce aside) —You seem to
forget that we were engaged when I left
you at the seaside; but I shall have re-e
--venge!
.Vlaudie (sweetly)— Really! Measure
off two more yards of this piuk ribbon,
please.—[New York Herald.
VERY I.ITTLK.
"Sick, eh," said the doctor, after not
ing Swuyback's pulse, "you must have
been injudicious in your eating."
"O, no;" replied Swayback, I haven't
eaten anything since breakfast but some
sliced cucumbers and watermelon und
buttermilk."—[Epoch.
RUB CONSENTED.
"Will you he mine?"
"Can you afford to dress me well if I
marry you?"
"It depends upon what you consider
being dressed well. If you mean Worth
dresses froin Paris, I can't afford them;
nor do you need them."
"I don't?"
"No. Your beauty needs no adorn
ment, and it will always eclipse any dress
yoif wear, no matter how fine or how ex- 1
pensive it may be. No one that looks ut
you sees your dress. The beauty of
face and perfection of figure only are
noted. All finery sinks into insignifi
cance beside them. What satin is there
like your skin? What silk like your
hair? What colors to compare with yottr
lips, cheeks and eyes."
"John, 1 am yours."—[New York
Press.
A TOUCHY SLIOPPEK.
Manager of dry goods store —One of
those ladies says you insulted her.
Clerk—Which one?
Manager—-The cross-eyed one. What
did you say to her?
Clerk—l merely usked her to cross
exuiniue the ouulity of this lace.—
[Epoch.
NOT A MONEY LOVER.
Mother—You are sure it isn't for your
money he wants to marry you?
Daughter—Perfectly sure. He does
not care for money; he spends all he gets.
-[New York Press.
AT 11.30 P. M.
Mr. Pulpleigh, in examination —Of
courso you will understand, Miss Paper
stock, that our store is so large that it is
sepuruted into many departments.
Miss P., with effort—And in what de
partment are you?
Mr. P.—ln the stationery.
Miss P.—Of course; how stupid of mo.
I might have known it.
And still Pulpleigh stayed. —[Detroit
Free Press.
IRISH WIT.
Englishman—Purdon me, sir, but
where do you come from?
Puddy—From county Cork.
Englishman—Then that accounts for
your brogue.
Puddy—May I ax where you come
from?
Englishman—From Worcester, sir
(proudly).
Paddy—Then that accounts for your
sauce.- [Dublin Times.
FISHING LUCK.
Cholly—Been fishing?
Capl.tin—Yes!
Cholly—Any luck?
Captain—Yes, first-rate! I didn't get
drowned!—[Ledger.
ACCOUNTED FOR.
[ Guest—See here, waiter, there is a
I hair in this honey.
[ Waiter—Dear me! It must have
dropped out of the comb.
DIFFERENT METHODS.
First Little Hoy—My ma got a new
dress yesterday, and she threw her arms
around my pa's neck. What does your
ma do when she gets a new dress? Sec
ond Little Hoy—She says she'll forgive
him, but he mustn't stay out late again
—[Cloak Review.
BOAT-RACING IN THE NAVY.
Meu-of-War'sMen Engaged in Spirit
ed Contests.
One of the first things a mnn-o'-war's
man has to learn is to handle un oar, and
he is not long in the service before he
finds out that to pull in a boat of one
kind or another forms a very largo share
of his duties when his ship is lying in
port anywhere. Setting aside the regu
lar boat drills, there are frequent trips to
be made, either to the shore on various
errands, or from one ship to another,
should his vessel form part of a squad
ron at the time, and the music of the
bugle calling away this or that boat is
heard at frequent intervals during the
day. At one time the market-boat, with
stewards and cooks as passengers; then
the mail-boat, with trim marine orderly
and his big square leather mail-bag. At
another time the huge launches filled
with liberty men, or the cutter with offi
cers going ushoro for one purpose or an
other, or tho captain's gig bound for an
official visit to the flagship, keep their
various crews busy enough in all con
science; and this frequent practice, un
der all conditions of wind and weather
that a boat can live in, soon makes Jack
as much at home in barge, cutter or gig
as a landsman on a street car. To see a
boat'* crew when called away scramble
out on the long boom swung out from the
ship's side, and swarm down the hanging
rope-ladder, and drop into the boat bob
bing up and down 011 tho choppy waves,
is a sight one never tires of. i ( he oars
are out in a jiffy, and the boat brought
alongside the gangway almost before you
cun say Jack Robinson; and then, its
freight duly embarked, its crew, "with a
long pull, and a strong pull, and a pull
all together," buckle down to work with
long rhythmical swing of the oars that
sends the craft along like a thing of
life.
One would think that the amount of
downright hard work Jack goes through
in this way would cause him to seek any
other means of occupying his leisure
than to get into a boat again and pull
away harder than ever for the fun of the
thing; but he is a keen sportsman, and
hardly anything affords him greater
pleusure than a spirited contest for su
premacy between rival boats' crews.
Hoat-racing is encouraged in our navy,
and, as far as I know, this has been tho
case ever since an American fleet of war
vessels existed, and our sailors have con
quered again and again in friendly bouts
with their mates of other nutious. Hritish
tars rnoro than once, Frenchmen, and
others have tossed their oars in salute to
winning Yankee crews, and a favorite
yarn spun 011 the fo'c's'le—ay, and in
cabin and wardroom as well—is that
which tells of the laurels won by a boat's
crew of a solitary Yankee frigate, some
two or three score years ago, over tho
men of the whole French fleet, under tho
very eyes of the Empress.—[Harper's
Weekly.
All Interesting Calculation.
A curious and interesting calculation
lias been made by Professor Rogers of
Washington, D. C., 011 the dynamic
power or coal. According to the pro
fessor a single pound of good steam coal
has within it dynamic power equivalent
to the work of one man for one day.
Three tons of the same coal represent a
mnn's labor for a period of twenty years,
and one square mile of a seam of coal,
having a depth of four feet only, repre
sent® as much work as 1,000,000 men
can perform in twenty years.—[San
| Francisco Chronicle.
you ARE INVITED
To call and inspect our im
mense stock of
DRY GOODS,
Groceries, Provisions,
FURNITURE, Etc.
Our store is full of the new
est assortment. The prices are
the lowest. All are invited to
see our goods and all will be
pleased.
J. P. McDonald,
B.W. Corner Centre and South Bt., Freeland.
FERRY & CHRISTY,
dealers in
Stationary, School Books,
Periodicals, Song Books, Musical
Instruments,
CIGARS and TOBACCO,
SIFOZRTiaSTG- GOODS
Window Fixtures and Shades, Mirrors,
Pictures and Frames made to order.
Pictures enlarged and Framed.
Crayon Work a Specialty.
Centre St g
oppos
It nun II A Hull 176 th Edition Now Heady
NEWbrArtH
imffißfejiHSS
the name of every newspuper published, hav
ing a circulation rating in the American News
paper Directory of more than 25,000 copies each
issue, with the cost per line for advertising in
them. A list of the best pa|>ers of local circula
tion, in every city and town of more than 5,001)
population with prices by the inch for one
month. Special lists of daily, country, village
and class papers. Ihtrguin offers or value to
small advertisers or those wishing to experi
ment judiciously with a small amount of money.
Shows conclusively "how to get the most ser
vice for the money," etc., etc. Sent post paid
to any address for 00 cents. Address, Quo. P.
HOWELL & Co.. Publishers and General Adver
tising Agents, 10 Spruce Street, New York City.
& C. D. ROHRBACH,
Dealer in
Hardware, Paints, Varnish,
Oil, Wall Paper, Mining
Tools and mining Sup
plies of all kinds,
Lamps, Globes, Tinware, Etc.
Having purchased the stock
of Wm. J. Eckert and added a
considerable amount to the
present stock I am prepared to
sell at prices that defy compe
tition.
Don't forget to trv my special
brand of MINING OIL.
Centre Street, Freeland Fa.
E. M. GERITZ,
23 years in Germany and America, opposite
the Central Hotel, Centre Street, Freelaeu. The
Cheapest Hepulring Store in town.
Watches, Clocks and Jewelry.
New Watches, Clocks and
Jewelry on hand for the Holi.
days; the lowest cash price in
town. Jewelry repaired in
short notice. All Watch Re
pairing guaranteed for one
year.
Eight Day Clocks from 83.00
to $12.00; New Watches from
$4.00 up.
E. M. GERITZ,
Opposite Central Hotel, Centre St., Freeland.
GO TO
Fisher Bros.
Livery Stable
FOR
FIRST-CLASS TURNOUTS
At Short Notice, for Weddings, Parties and
Funerals. Frout Street, two stjuaree
below Freeland Opera House.
~ JOB
PRINTING
BXTCOTID AT THIS OHIO AX
Lowest Living Prices.
ami coau
The undersigned has been appoint
ed agent for the sule of G. B. Markle
& Co.'s
Highland Goal.
The quality of the Highland Coal
needs no recommendation, being hand
picked, thoroughly screened and free
from slate, makes it desirable for
Domestic purposes. All orders left
at the TRIBUNE office will receive
prompt attention.
Price $3.75 per two-horse wagon
load. T. A. BUCKLES, Agent.
PETER TIMONY, '
BOTTLER,
And Dealer in all kinds of
Liquors, Beer and Porter,
Temperance Drinks,
Etc., Etc.
Geo.Ringler&Co.'s
Celebrated LAGER BEER put
in Patent Sealed Bottles here
on the premises. Goods de
livered in any quantity, and to
any part of the country.
FREELAND BOTTLING WORKS,
Cor. Centre and Carbon Sts.. Freeland.
(Near Lehigh Valley Depot.)
H. M. BRISLIN,
UNDERTAKER
AND
Also dealer In
FURNITURE
of every description.
Centre Street, above Luzerne, Freeland.
The Moat Successful Remedy ever discov
ered, as It is certain in its effects anil does not
blister. Read proof below :
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE.
BELVBK.VOX, Pa., Nov. 27, *9O.
DR. B. J. KENDALL CO. :
Gent*—l would like to make known to those who
are almost persuaded to use Keudall's Spavin Cure
the fact that I think Itlsa most excellent Liniment.
I have used itonu Blood Spavin. The horse went on
three legs for three years when 1 commenced to
ÜBO your Kendall's Spaviu Cure. I used ten bot
tles on the horse and have worked him for threo
years since uud has not beeu Uune.
Yours truly, WM. A. CURL.
GERMAN-TOWN, N. Y., Nov. 2,1859.
Da B. J. KENDALL CO.,
Kuosburgh Falls, Vt.
Gents: In praise of Kendall's Spavin Curo I will
say. that a year ago I had a valuable vouughorßf be
come very lame, hock enlarged and swollen. Tho
horsemen about here (we have no Veterinary Sur
geon here) pronounced his lameness Blood Spavin
or Tboroughpin, they all told me there was no
cure for It, he became about useless, and I con
sidered him almost worthless. A friend told me of
the merits of your Kendall's Spavin Cure, so I
bought a bottle, and I could see very plainly great
improvements Immediately from Its use,and before
the bottle was used up I was satisfied that It was
doing him a great deal of good. I bought a second
bottle and before it was used up my horse was
cu red and has been in the team doing heavy work
all the season since last April, showing no more
signs of it. I consider your Kendall's Spavin Cure
a valuable medicine, and it should be In every
stable in the land. Respectfully yours,
EUGENE DEWITT.
Price $1 per bottle, or six bottles for s.*>. All drug
gists have It or can get It for you, or it will be sent
to any address on receipt of price by the proprie
tors. DR. B. J. KENDALL CO.,
Enosburgh Falls* VermonL
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
A. RUDEWICK,
GENERAL STORE.
FOUTII HEBERTON, PA.
Clothing. Groceries, Etc., Etc.
Agent for the sale of
PASSAGE TICKETS
From all the principal points in Europe
to all points in the United States.
Agent for the transmission of
MONEY
To all parts of Europe. Checks, Drafts,
and Letters of Exchange on Foreign
Banks cashed at reasonable rals.
S. RUDEWICK,
Wholesule Dealer ID
Imported Brandy, Wine
And All Kinds Of
LIQUORS.
THE BEST
Beer,
Sorter,
-A_le And
Brovm Stout.
Foreign and Domestic.
Cigars Kept oil Hand.
S. RUDEWICK,
SOUTH HEBERTON.
A pamphlet of information and ab-yflV
of the laws.ahowing Uovr
Patents, Tradojj^^