ENVIRONMENT.
This earth, where HO mysteriously we camo
Girds ns with kinship; i robust oaks
dwell
Our fortitudes; the willows and ferns too
well
Our foolitdi frailty or pliancy proclaim;
The dawns nre our pure deeds; the erratic !
flame
Of lightning: Hares our passions; the grave
spell
Of moonlight speaks our sorrow—and
scarce we tell
Our pictured lives from their terrestrial
frame.
Wherefore the closelier that we lean to look,
On thoso material and yet airy ties
Which bind us to this orb through fated
years,
W'e almost feel as if great Nature took
Our joys to weave her sunshine with, our
sighs
To make her winds, and for her rains our
tears.
—[Edgar Fuwcett, in tie Cosmopolitan.
THAT PRLIIT LITTLE SIMPLETON.
BY VIRUIB F. HARRIS.
What a silly littlo thing she was, hut J
how pretty! All smiles and dimples, j
rosy checks and fluffy brown hair, shad
ing laughing blue eyes! 1 thought, as 1
sat opposite her that day in the street
ear, and heard her girlish prattle, that I
had never seen such a combination of j
silliness and prcttincss. Her silly chat
ter provoked me desperately, for I was
intensely interested in an article in the >
last Medical Journal, which had direct \
bearing on a complicated case I was
going that morning to treat. An aeei- j
dent that morning to one of my horses
and a stupid blunder of my coachman I
had forced mo to take the car, and I felt
us cross as a bear, and looked so,I know,
for when 1 caught her eye she tossed her
silly little head and turned away with a
pout. 1 heard enough about papa,balls, |
the opera, etc., to guess ihat she was au
idolized, only child and something of a
belle. As I was too old to ignore the ,
vacuum in her head, for the sake of the
pretty face, I was much relieved when i
Dora Copperfield—as I mentally styled '■
her—ami her friend left the ear. It was
strange, but after the first chance meet
ing, 1 was constantly meeting Dora. 1
caught glimpses of her nestling down in
the cushions, as her carriage dashed with
a Hash and a glitter by my office. At the !
opera the fates threw ine in her neigh
borhood. She was with a fat, pompous
looking middle-aged man, whom I took to
bo "papa." I mentally dubbed him "old
money-bags," and hated liiin as heartily
as I did his daughter—ho looked so com- i
plaecnt and listened with such evident I
relish to her ceaseless, silly prattle. |
One day I was summoned in great |
haste to the bedside of a patient whom 1
had attended a few times before. She |
and her daughter lived in a quarter of
the city to which my practice seldom 1
called me, and among people 1 only I
served for sweet charity's sake. Though
these two were as poor us many I at- 1
tended free 1 could not dare refuse the
foe they promptly tendered after each
visit. Of them 1 knew nothing further
than that they wcro Indies. There was a
proud independence, a dignified reticence
that commanded my respect. I was much
attracted by them both; the mother was
refined und gentle, and bore with forti
tude her sufferings; tho daughter was
beautiful, proud, dignified, and bravely
independent. I was anxious to help
them, but the opportunity for doing so
delicately and without risk of offending
had never yet presented itself, and not
for my right hand would I have offended
their brave, proud, reticent? poverty. But
on this visit the evidences of poverty
were even greater. The room was very
bare; evidently they had been forced to j
Sawn many necessary articles. The
aughter was pale and thin, aud some
thing like despair shone in the beautiful
dark eyes. 1 found Mrs. Trevor vory
weak and low. After I had prescribed
for her I sat like "Micawber," hoping
"something would turn up"—that there
would be some opening in tho conversa
tion where 1 might safely offer.aid. I
could not leave them in such destitution.
1 must help them—this wus not their
place and sphere, and they must be lifted
out by some means. The mother was too
weak to talk, and Miss Trovor was too
absorbed in her own sad thoughts for
conversation, so I must tuko the dilemma
by the horns.
"Have you been taking wine as I pre
scribed, Mrs. Trevor? You are much
weaker than when I saw you last, and 1
had hoped the wine would have built up
your strength."
Miss Trevor seemed to struggle with
herself. A burning blush suffused her
face and nock. At last she raised her
head proudly, and with a defiant air
looked mo full and steadily in the eye,
as sho said in a low voice, without a
quiver:
44 N0, Dr. Ileathcotc. We were not
able to follow your prescription fully. 1
The wine you sent mother was of great 1
benefit to her, and I was ablo to supply
it, also, until last week, when she was j
taken much worse, requiring my unre
mitting attention, which forced mo to
stop sewing, my only means of support. |
But I had just finished some work for a
young lady, and us she owed me S2O, I j
trusted to that to tide me over, until I i
could resume work. But I have been |
unable to collect the money, and we arc
penniless."
Bravely said, mv beautiful Spartan!
I thought, as 1 looked at the fine, pale
face with its troubled eyes. The Spar
tan youth, with the wolf gnawing at his
vitals, suffered less than you did in
making this confession. Behind that
marble calmness, my beautiful Galatea,
what a Vesuvius must be throbbing and
seething in your heart and brain! In
juries and injustice that you can't for
get—neglect and coldness from those
who should have befriended!
44 Ye8, doctor," said Mrs. Trevor,
44 Helen kept her troubles from mo as long
as she could, and has allowed me to want
for nothing, but failing to collect the
money due her has been a great hardship.
The poor child has not tasted food since
yesterday."
She covered her face with her hands,
and the tears trickled down through the
thin fingers.
i turned like one shot and stared at that
beautiful girl, standing so quiet and coin
posed. Starving! starving! She, fit to be
a queen, and suffering for bread! I
stalked like a caged lion up and down the
narrow room.
44 Oh, the heartless rich! The cold,
heartless rich!"
44 More thoughtless than heartless, I
think, Dr. Ileathcotc."
I stopped short as the cool, even tones
fell on my ear, and marching up to her
took both her hands in mine. 1 was old
enough to be her father.
44 Helen, why didn't you come to me?
Why didn't you come?"
The tears came to her eye? —Hie first I
had seen there.
"Wo are such strangers to you. I
would not have presumed "
"Strangers bo hanged! Excuse me,
Helen. Hut, my child, you arc too
proud! There comes u time in the life
of most, when we must accept help—
when pride must be laid aside and we
must stoop! Independence is a very tine
thing, my dear, but the proudly inde
pendent man is not the huppy man. lie
who can find pleasure in receiving as
well as giving is the one who gets most
good out of life, because closer drawn to
his fellow man. Now, my dear, I'm
going to get wine for your mother and
nourishing food for you."
She put out her hand protestingly, and
again that blush of humbled pride
mounted to her face.
"Your mother's life depends upon
timely aid. You and I can have our j
reckoning by and by. 1 will look in
again this afternoon."
Soon 1 had sent up wine, fruits and .
well prepared food to Helen and her
mother. I could not dismiss them from 1
my mind for a moment during my round j
of visits. I could understand the ugony ,
of humiliation that poor girl wus suffer- j
ing—as well as the fear and sorrow hang- j
ing over her from her mother's illness, j
Poverty had not been long with them; it
was apparent that their bettor days had |
been recent. Then us I thought how
: that rich girl's thoughtless, heartless in
! difference and neglect to pay her had
1 aggravated Helen's shame and grief, my
: indignation knew no bounds, and when 1
reached Mrs. Trevor's humble room that
afternoon I bad worked myself into a
furor of anger against that unknown
transgressor, Helen's lato employer. 1
was boiling over with rage, which in
creased, if possible, when 1 found Mrs.
j Trevor worse and noted Helen's troubled,
' anxious face. After doing all I could
j for my patient, who soon fell into a doze,
' 1 called Helen out into the hall.
| " Helen, give ine the name and address
of the person who owes you."
| She looked at me inquiringly as I took
out my notebook and pencil, but said:
j " Miss Floy Garrison,2olo L avenue."
I I wrote it down hurriedly and without
another word was on my way to find this
1 girl. I had but one thought—to bring
her to see the sorrows she had caused. It
might teach her a lesson and cause her
to feel a little of the sliuine and mortifi
cation Helen had to endure.
When 1 drew up before2olo L avenue
a carriage stood before tlie door and a
party of four stood ready to enter. A
slender, middle-aged lady, a fine-looking
' young man, " old money bags " and Dora
i (Jopperfield! Ribbons flying, curls blow
ing, draperies fluttering and merry
laughter.
So Miss Empty Head was the culprit.
I was not surprised at all. If 1 had been
a knight of the middle ages 1 would have
I snatched her in my arms and rushed
! away with her, and after showing her the
j trouble and sorrow she had caused, im
' mured her in a dungeon deep and dark,
• but as it wus the practical nineteenth
! century I must observe the convention
alities. So, whilo thirsting for ven
i geance, 1 bud to smirk and bow and in
troduce myself.
Yes, "old moneybags" knew Dr.
Heuthcote quite well by reputation.
Glad to meet him. "This," pointing to
the middle-aged lady," was his wife; the
young lady was his daughter Floy, and
this his nephew, Mr. Philip Everett,
from the south."
I then politely requested Miss Garrison
to accompany 1110 to see a patient who
was very low, who knew her, und in
whom she would bo interested. Floy
looked inquiringly ut pupa, who suid:
" Yes, go."
Not a word was spoken during the
drive, but when wo stood in Helen's
room I pointed to Mrs. Trevor's wustcd
form and suid:
II Behold your work."
" Oh, what do you mean?"
Tho blue eyes wero round and fright
ened and the roses had faded from the
pretty cheeks. 1 turned sternly upon
her and suid:
44 1 mean that a girl as young and
beautiful as yourself, as well-born and
as well-bred, has been reduced to a dread
ful poverty —a poverty such as you have
never seen, but have cried over in novels;
she has been struggling bravely to keep
back want and trouble from an invalid
mother, while you were going to parties
and halls; but out of your plenty you
couldn't spare the pitiful S:?U she had
earned by hard work, it would have
been a small fortune to her and saved
her heartaches and humiliation terrible
to her proud nature!"
44 Forgive me, oh, forgive me, Miss
Trevor, for my cruel, thoughtless care
lessness! "
Sho was crying and clinging to Helen
who stood away.
44 1 have been so wickedly thoughtless!
I did not know there was so much suffer
ing and want in the world! Can you
over forgive me? "
| But before Helen could speak, there
i was a loud knock at the door, and when
| I opened it, Col. Garrison and Mr. Philip
j Everett stood before me. Col. Garrison
explained that after I had left them with
I Floy, ho grew uneasy, thinking he had
I been too precipitate in giving his con
sent for her to accompany me, fearing
! iny patient might be suffering from some
contagious disease.
Hero Floy threw wide open the door,
and coming info the hall, threw herself
into her father's arms and sobbed out the
whole sad story.
But what was the matter with Helen?
Was she about to faint? She steadied
herself with one hand against a chair,
while the other was pressed to her heart;
her face was deadly pale, and her wide
stretched eyes were riveted upon Mr.
Everett, who when lie caught sight of her
through the open door, stepped forward
with a glad cry of 44 Helen!" His manly,
handsome luce was radiant with happi
ness, and 1 heard him say:
44 Found at lust! I have searched ev
erywhere for you, Helen!"
44 Can you still "
44 D0 1 still love you? Oh, Helen, how
can you ask!"
And unmindful of us all she fell into
bis arms and wept out her sorrows and
griefs upon his heart. I closed the door,
and Col. Garrison, Floy and I discreetly
withdrew farther into the hull.
After a few moments Mr. Everett and
Helen came out. At lust my beautiful
; Galatea was endowed with life. A look
of happiness such as 1 had never seen
there before shone in the dark eyes.
Then Mr. Everett, in a manly, struigh
forward way, told their story. He and
Miss Trevor had boon children together
in a far distant Southern city, and he
came engaged soon after both had left
school, but after tho death of Helen's
father, nearly a year before, an unfor
tunate misunderstanding arose, which
separated them, and Helen and her
mother quietly left the city, leaving no
truce behind them, and all these months
iho had been searching for them. Then
! that pretty little simpleton, Floy, proved
' her head was not quite empty by saying:
44 Papa, Mrs. Trevor and Helen must
1 go home with us, where we may rcpuir,
; if possible, the wrong I did them."
i And it was done just as Miss Kattle
brain proposed, and she proved herself
the most faithful, untiring and devoted
'of nurses—the most unselfish and loving
of friends and cousins; and before the
wedding day came around, she and Helen
were as devoted as sisters, and when that
day did come old Money-bags wus the
most generous of uncles. And when
Helen kissed me good-bye that day, she
said with happy teurs in her pretty dark
"Dr. lleathcote, I will never cease to
love and bless you! The brightest day
of my life, except this, is that on which
you rushed Floy in upon her avenging
Nemesis!"
Before Philip left with his wife he told
; me, at Helen's request, what he told no
I one else—tho story of their poverty and
separation. Helen's father had boon
Philip's guardian, and after his death it
j was found that ho had appropriated and
! squandered the whole of Philip's fine for
tune. Philip tried to keep this from
Helen, but in some way she learned it,
and her grief, mortification and despair
were terrible to see. She thought that
Philip would scorn to marry the daughter
of a dishonest man. So after she and
her mother had settled all of that small
fortune upon Philip— for both felt keenly
the disgrace, and wished to make what
reparation they could—they quietly left
tho city, giving Philip no hint of their
destination.
"1 knew she was a heroine?" I said, as
I slapped Philip on the back.
Mrs. Trevor remained with tho Gar
risons until Philip and Helen returned
from their brief trip, then she went with
them to the cosy little home that Col.
Garrison gave Philip on his wedding day.
My gift to my beautiful girl was a com
plete silver service and a horse and
phaeton; so I see the bright, happy face
every day or so as she drives by und nods
and smiles at me.
Well, it is always the unexpected that
happens. When that boy of mine,
Walter lleathcote, came homo from
college, ready for a partnership with his
old father, what should ho eto but fall in
love with that pretty little simpleton,
Floy Garrison, and make her Mrs. lleath
cote before I could say Jack Robinson!—
[Detroit Free Press.
An Agent for Pneumonia.
The fun answers many purposes other
than for the cooling of its wicldcr, but
few appreciate the fact that it can bo
made an effective agent for pneumonia.
"Talk about the early martyrs," said a
lady in the hearing of a Boston Herald ,
man, as she came out of a crowded con
cert room the other evening. "They are
absolutely nothing to me. Hero 1 am,
just up from un attack of influenza, and
I'll warrant myself to have another at
tack, and all tor the selfish stupidity of
one old woman with a fan. I wish peo
ple had more consideration, or sense, or
something," and the speaker stopped to
sneeze and pull her wraps closer about
her throat. "And she sat there by your
side, and waved one of those strong,
gusty funs, creating a breeze like a
young whirlwind, until you are all of a
chill, I suppose," said her friend. "In
deed, yes, and the more I pulled up my
scarf the harder she fanned. There
wasn't a vacant seat in the house, or I
i would have taken it. 1 didn't like to ask
her to stop, for she hadn't a specially
inviting countenance. And I have taken
a severe cold, for every bone in my body
aches. I think there should be a rule
against fans in crowds, just us there is
against canes and umbrellas in art gal
leries. You can mend statues or build
more, but there isn't a remedy that I
know of when wo once are dead from
somebody's carelessness or indifference."
What Chaff is For.
Tho chaff which surrounds all kinds of
grain bus very important economic uses.
In its wild state this chaff saves the seed
from exposure to weather, sometimes in
severe seasons only one or two grains
escaping damage by winter's exposure.
When first cultivated most kinds of grain
lmd doubtless much more abundant chaff
than now. The original wild Indian corn,
in which each grain has a husk of its own,
is an illustration of this. But chuff' even
now serves a very important purpose. It
allows tho grain to dry out in stacks and
mows, without hcuting so as to injure
the seed. Grain threshed before this
drying out is accomplished heats much
more injuriously in the granary.
Sometimes in threshing outs that have
been drawn in wet, we have seen the
straw blackened by heating around the
bands, while the heaps kept separate by
the chaff' showed each grain bright and
uninjured. Wheat that has a strong
bearded cluiff is usually a strong grower,
as its generating power is less apt to ho
destroyed by heating in the mow. This
fact secures tho continued popularity of
these sorts, despite the unpleasantness of
working among bearded grain, ltcnpiug
machines that bind grain with twine
|as soon as cut, make tho chuff even
! more necessary. It is not any more
difficult to work among, and it does help
j to keep grain from being injured through
j imperfect drying before mowing awuy.—
[American Cultivator.
The Horse-Power of Whales.
Sir William Turner, the present emi
nent professor '>f anatomy in tho Uni
versity of Edinhurg, Scotland, has given
much attention to the study of whales,
their structure, habits, etc. 110 es
! timutes that the great Greenland whale
(average length 60 feet) attains a maxi
mum speed while swimming of ten miles
an hour; the 44 Finer" whale (maximum
length 85 feet) often making twelve to
fourteen miles an hour. Mr. Turner, in
ono of his lectures, said that he and
.John Henderson, of Glasgow, tho well
known builder of the Anchor Line steam
ships, hud spent much time in trying to
arrive at a satisfactory conclusion as
to the horse-power exerted by large
species of the whale in making a speed
of twelve miles an hour. As a base for
their conclusions they took the size and
dimensions of the great "Finncr," which
was stranded on the shore at Longuiddry
some years ago. it was 80 feet long,
weighed 74 tons and had a tail which was
20 feet across at the extreme end of its
flanges. With these data, Messrs.
Turner and Henderson calculated that a
whale of the dimensions mentioned, in
order to attain a speed of twelve miles
an hour, must exercise a propelling force
of 145 horse-power!
Not Lovers of Display.
The utmost simplicity is said to char
acterize the daily life of the President of
Hie French Kejmblie, although on State
occasions both M. and Mine. Garnot or
ganize their entertainments in far more
regal style than any of their predeces
sors. But when the President and his
wife are alone they like dining off tho
homely national dish of a pot au feu, or
I it" a few intimate friends are present they
l enlarge the menu to include eggs, fish,
I lamb or mutton cutlets or broiled chicken.
'THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Not ({noted Correctly—Before and
After —No Leisure —No Money to
Lend —More Likely, Etc., Etc.
NOT QUOTED CORRECTLY.
Tom Noddy—Uncle Ainos, I hear you
suid I was a fool the other day.
Uncle Amos—l never said you were a
fool the other day. J said you had been
a fool all the days of your life.—[De
troit Free Press.
BEFORE AND AFTER.
Heforo the maiden married him,
And got him in her power,
To sew a button on his coat
Would take her just one hour.
Hut things are very different now;
For when her aid he seeks
To sew that button on his coat,
It takes her several weeks.
—[Clothier and Furnisher.
NO LEISURE.
"I'll wait until you are at leisure,"
said a culler to the editor.
"I'm afraid I'll he no use to you when
I'm dead," replied the editor.—[Epoch.
NO MONEY TO LEND.
"Hello, old chappie! Been makiu'
money lately?"
"1 should smile; got m' pockets full."
"Lend me a V, will yer?"
"Oh, I can't yer know; it's all in $1
bills." —[Texas Siftings.
MALICE AFORETHOUGHT.
Witness—He came towards ine and
wanted ter kick me on de leg six times.
.Judge—How do you know he had the
intention of kicking you six times?
Witness—Hekase dat's jess de number
ob bluek and blue spots I've got on my
leg.—[Texas Siftings.
ANOTHER LIB NAILED.
F. Parmonter Pvne, '9l—This talk
about college graduates not being able to
cope with the stern realities of life is all
bosh. Why, two of our men uro street
car conductors, one is a waiter in a res
taurant and one is a letter-carrier, and 1
could mime lots of other cases, too. —
[Life.
DIFFERENT KINDS OF POPULARITY.
Indignant Customer—Look here, you
advertise popular prices, and yet you
charge me 25 cents for a cup of coffee
und a ham sandwich.
Proprietor —You'll find those prices
very popular with caterers, sir.
MORE LIKELY.
Mrs. Snooper (reading)— The longest
word in the Winnebago language is
Shonkhaterahizunhonikoukcinena. It
means "1 will give you a horse."
Snooper—lt is more likely to give one
the lockjaw.
INADEQUATE.
"No," she snapped, "I won't go to ride
with Col. Jones!"
"Why not, my dear? He is a perfect
gentleman, und"
"No liidii can manage a horse," broke
in the lass, "and a girl, too, with one
urin."—[Atlanta Constitution.
A MORAL MAXIM.
Whatever our purpose in lifo may be—
Whatever our earthly station,
We ought to try, thermometer-like,
To rise to the situation.
—[Philadelphia Times.
HALF RATIONS.
Tommy—l didn't eat half enough sup
per.
Bessie—What did you have for sup
per?
Tommy—Company.—[Puck.
RUINED HIS BUSINESS.
Mrs. Dogood—Even if you are just
out of prison, that does not prevent you
from going to work.
Dusty it bodes—lt do, mum; they cut
my hair, and my business is ruined.
Mrs. Dogoou—What business were
you in?
Dusty lihodes —The Circassian beauty
line, mum.
JACK PAID FOR IT.
Tom —Harry looks as if his supper
didn't agree with him.
Jack—Well, it ought to have agreed
with him; he didn't have to pay for it.—
[Yankee Blade.
TIIEIR SON JACK.
Mr. Breezcy—Our son Jack is getting
altogether too large for a youngster.
Mrs. Breozey—Oh, well, the child is
father to the man, you know!
Mr. Breezcy—Very true, lmt Jack
seems to consider himself father to the
whole family,—[New York Herald.
GOOD LUCK UNAPPRECIATED.
M iss do Swell (angrily)— You told mo
this horseshoe lace pin would bring mo
good luck, and now Count de Moneyhunt
has proposed to another girl, and my
poodle is dead.
Jeweler—Madame, what more could
heart desire?—[Jeweler's Weekly.
FATE.
In her brown eyes her woman's soul
Shines radiant as the dawn,
If we but meet, my self-control
Is gone.
Her low, sweet brow, her soft, brown hair,
Her beauty make complete;
When she comes near the very uir
Seems sweet.
She has a gentle, tender voico
That pleases every ear;
Whene'er she speaks, men's hearts rejoice
To hear.
Ami yet, her road to happiness
Is barred with iron doors,
Because her little brother says
She snores.
—[Somerville Journal.
BLACK BIIEEP DWELL IX EVERY FOLD.
She—Oh, yes! I quite believe there's
u simpleton in every family. Don't
you?
He—Well—er—iny opinion is rather
biased. You see I'm tin; only member of
our family.—[Boston Budget.
THEY DIDN'T SING IT.
"Let's go up to the Dime Museum and
see the picnic party."
"What picnic party?"
"Why, don't you know? the picnic
party that came home on a barge the
other night and didn't sing 011 their way
'Home Again from a Foreign Shore.'
They are on exhibition.—[Boston Courier.
A LOGICAL INFERENCE.
"Papa," said Willie, as they sailed
down to Stat en Island, "do sea-horses
come from the sea?"
"Yes, my son."
"And do the bay horses all come from
the bay?"
SILENCING lirnni.
Young Father (in the future) —
Snakes! Can't you do something to quiet
that baby? Its eternal squalling just
drives ino wild.
Young Mother (calmly to servant) —
Marie, bring in my husband's mother's
phonograph and put in the cylinder
marked "At Ten Months." I want him
to hear how his voice sounded when he
was young.—[Xew York Weekly.
A FOHC.KTFUL SPOUSE.
Mrs. Hilkins—l never saw such a for
getful man in my life as you are. The
clock has stopped again.
Mr. Hi I kins—That's because you for
got to wind it.
Mrs. Hilkins—Huh! You knew very
well, Mr. Hilkins, that I told you to re
mind me to wind it and you forgot übout
it.—[New York Weekly.
A CHURL SON.
"I understand Juk Jimson struck his
mother."
"Yes."
"The cruel scoundrel. What did h*
strike her for?"
"Ten dollars."
GOT WHAT SHE WANTED.
She—An unfortunate alliance, that of
Miss Quickly's, wasn't it?
lie—Maybe, but he was just her kind.
You said, you know, that she wanted u
husband, and she certainly got it.—
[Yonkers Gazette.
A BTVONO GUARANTEE.
Miss Flora Wall (to dealer) —You
guarantee this cement to be good, do
you?
Dealer—Yes, ma'am. You could mend
a broken heart with that cement.
Miss Flora Wall—l'll take three bot
tles.—[Fuck.
A SURE THING.
Daddy—lf you are a good boy I'll
tuko you to the circus.
Sonnv—Suppose 1 ain't a good boy?
Daddy—Then you'll have a circus
with me.—[Puck.
A SECRET.
She —How softly the breezes whisper
over this tield.
He—Yes, dear—but the corn is all
eurs, you know!—[Life.
NOTHING MEAN ABOUT HIM.
Father (reading it) —Ah, yes, the biy 1
lor you, and the girl's hats. Twen£~
dollurp and ninety-live cents. Nearly
' s2l. No use being mean. 11l buy fivs
j cents' worth of black varnish to color
my last year's straw and make the bill
the full figure.—[Fliegendo Hlaetter.
IN A BAD FIX.
A—How is Brown coming out?
H—Very poorly. He can't eat.
"What's the matter witli him?"
"There is nothing the matter with
him, except lack of food. He is stopping
at a fashionable boarding house."—
[Texas Siftings.
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
"Didn't they sing beautifully in uni
son?" he whispered at the opera.
"In unison?" re-echoed the Hoston
girl; "why I thought they were going to
sing in Italian. No wonder I don't un
derstand it."—[Philadelphia Times.
A BLUSHING SIMILE.
She tripped going down to the beach
and blushed prettily.
"You arc like the leaves of the forest,"
whispered her escort.
"llow so?" she asked.
"You turn red with the fall," was the
reply.
HIS GREETING.
She waits each night till I get home,
And greets me at the door;
But it is not for my sake alone—
She wants to know the score.
—[Judge.
VERY TRUE.
Wife—l'm afraid I scolded the chil
dren rather severely while making pre
serves to-day.
Husband —You should have preserved
your temper, too.
Wife —How could I when I lost it?
TUB CHOICEST MORSEL.
Mrs. Pert —We had an elegant supper
at the sewing society.
Mr. Pert—What did you relish most?
"Oh, we dissected a watermelon!"
"Is that all? 1 thought probably you
bad dissected at least a half dozen of the
neighbors!"
"You're just too hateful!"—[Harris
burg Telegram.
WHICH ONE?
" Yes, the ceremony has been per
formed, and John and Mary are one."
"Indeed? Which one?"
" Well," answered the father of tho
bride, "from what I know of Mary's
mother, 1 should say—but, ah! here s
comes."—[Detroit Free Press.
A WORSE PREDICAMENT.
First Boy—Did you get squeezed k
the crowd at the navy drill yesterday?
Second Hoy—No, but I got caught in
the jam at home, and that was worse.
SHE LEARNED SOMETHING.
"Travel is a great educator," remarked
Amy.
"That's so," replied Sue. "Why, I
could not tlirt a bit before 1 made a tour
of the watering places."
ENCOURAGEMENT.
Kidlets—Do you suppose your sister
would marry me?
Dick Hicks—l guess so; she isn't very
bright.
Cure for Sunburn.
You will get sunburned, of course
You may try to just brown slowly, but
some early and prolonged exposure will
cook you suddenly, and you will b
burned. There is just one thing to do.
Bathe your face in milk, sour milk, if
possible; better still, for twenty minutcf
or so, dabbing the face softly. If by
that time the soreness is gone, rub the
faco dry with your hands. The oil of
the milk rubs in and the rest of the milk
rubs off dry. If the skin is too sore, let
the milk all dry on. It leaves an uncom
fortable, shiny crust on tin* face and vou
smell of sour milk, but after a couple of
hours you will, unless you are burned
horribly, find you can wet the faco
again with milk, wash off the crust and
then rub softly until the skin iw dry.
Now powder carefully to make you look
a little less like a boiled lobster. By tho
next day you should bo all right.—[St.
Louis Republic.
Remember If.
Economy is the parent of integrity, of
liberty and of ease, and tho sister of tem
perance, of cheerfuUcss and of health;
and profuseness is a cruel and crafty
demon, that generally involves her fol
lowers in dependence and debts, that is,
fetters them with "irons into their souls."
YOU ARE INVITED
To call and inspect our im
mense stock of
DET GOODS,
Groceries, Provisions,
FURNITURE, Etc.
Our store is full of the new
est assortment. The prices are
the lowest. All are invited to
see our goods and all will be
pleased.
J. P. McDonald,
8. W. Corner Centre and South Sts., Freeland.
FERRY & CHRISTY,
deulcrs in
Stationary, School Books,
Periodicals, Sonar Books, Musical
Instruments,
CIGARS and TOBACCO,
OrOOIDS
Window Fixtures and Shades, Mirrors,
Pictures and Frames made to order.
Pictures enlarged and Framed.
Crayon Work a Specialty.
41 Centre Street, Quinn's Building
IEWSPAPER PSSSIS
the name of every newspaper published, hav
ing a circulation rating in the American News
paper Directory of more than & r ,000 copies each
issue, witli the cost per line lor advertising in
them. A list of the best papers of local circula
tion, in every city and town of more than 5,000
population with prices by the inch for one
month. Special lists of daily, country, village
and class papers. Bargain offers or value to
small advertisers or those wishing to experi
ment Judiciously with a small amount of mono}'.
Shows conclusively "how to get the most ser
vice for the money," etc., etc. Sent post paid
to any address for HO cents. Address, GEO. I'.
HOWELL & Co.. Publishers and General Adver
tising Agents, 10 Spruce Street, New York City.
fa C. D. ROHRBACH,
Dealer in
Hardware, Paints, Varnish,
Oil, Wall Paper, Mining
Tools and mining Sup
plies of all kinds,
Lamps, Globes, Tinware, Etc.
Having purchased the stock
of Wm. J. Eckert and added a
considerable amount to the
present stock I am prepared to
sell at prices that defy compe
tition.
Don't forget to try my special
brand of MINING OIL.
Centre Street, Freeland Pa.
E. M. GERITZ,
2fl years in Germany and America, opposite
tile Cent in I Hotel, Centre Street, Freelaeu. The
Cheapest Repairing Store in town.
Watches. Clocks and Jewelry.
New Watches, Clocks and
Jewelry on hand for the Holi.
days; the lowest cash price in
town. Jewelry repaired in
short notice. All Watch Re
pairing guaranteed for one
year.
Eight Day Clocks from 83.00
to 813.00; New Watches from
81.00 up.
E. M. GERITZ,
Opposite Central Hotel, Centre St., Freeland.
GO TO
Fisher Bros.
Livery Stable
FOR
FIRST-CLASS TURNOUTS
At Short Notice, for Weddings* Parties and
Funerals. Front Street, two £<juureß
below Frcelund Opera House.
JOB
PRINTING
BXXOUTXD AT THIS WNIL AX
Lowest Living Prices.
COM.! Mil
The undersigned has been appoint
ed agent for the sale of G. B. Markle
& Co.'s
Highland Goal.
Hie quality of the Highland Coal
needs no recommendation, being hand
picked, thoroughly screened and free
from slate, makes it desirable for
Domestic purposes. All orders left
at tho TEIUDNE office will receive
prompt attention.
Price $3.75 per two-horse wagon
load. T. A. BUCKLEY,-Agent.
PETER TIMONY, .
BOTTLER,
And Dealer in all kinds of
Liquors, Beer and Porter,
Temperance Drinks,
Etc., Etc.
Geo.Ringler&Co.'s
Celebrated LAGER BEER put
in Patent Sealed Bottles here
on the premises. Goods de
livered in any quantity, and to
any part of the country.
FREELAND BOTTLING WORKS,
Cor. Centre and Carbon Sts., Freeland.
(Near Lehigh Valley Depot.)
H7M. BRISLIN, ~
UNDERTAKER
AND
. EKIBALMER.
Also dealer in
FURNITURE
of every description.
Centre Street, above Luze rne, Freeland.
/
[SPAVIN CUREF|JT
The Mont Successful Remedy ever <IIRCOW
ored, ac It Is certain In Its effects and does
not blister. Head proof below.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE.
OFFICE OF CHARLES A. SNYDER, )
BRKKDUL OF V
CLEVELAND BAT AND TEUTTUVO BRED HORSKS. >
_ ELM WOOD, 111., NOV. 2U. LTSBS.
DR. B.J. KENDALL Co. • '
ar 8 ,r: 1 h av ® always purchased your Ken
dall's Spavin Cure by the half dozen Ix.ttles, I
would like prices in larger qunnUty. I think It Is
one of the nest liniments on earth. I have used It
cn my stables for three years.
Yours truly, CHAS. A. SNYDER.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURL
DB. b. J. R™ B rs T "' 3-ieBB
- Sirs : I desire to give you testimonial of my
good opinion of your Kendall s Spavin Cure. I have
used It for LainenesM, Stiff Joints and
Hon vins, and 1 have found it a sure cure, I cordi
ally recommend it to all horsemen.
Your, truly, A. H. Giuntn-r,
Manager Troy Laundry Stables.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE.
~ R. WniTOK COUSTT, OHIO, Deo. 19, less.
DR. B. J. KENDALL CO.
Ueuts: I feel it my dnty to say what I have done
with your Kendall's Bpav(n Cure. I have cured
twenty five horses thut had HpaYlna, ten of
King B?ne, nine afflicted with Big Head and
seven of HIB J aw. Since I have had one of your
books and followed the directions, I have never
lost a case of any kind.
Yours truly, ANDREW TURNER,
Horse Doctor.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE.
ftice $1 per bottle, or six bottles for |5. All Drug
gists havejt or can get It for you, or it will be sent
to any address on receipt of price by the proprie
tors. DR. B. J. KENDAI I. CO., Enosburgh Falls, VL
SOLD BY ALL DKUGGIBTS.
A. RUDEWICK,
GENERAL STORE.
SOUTH HEBERTON, PA.
Clothing, Groceries, Etc., Etc.
Agent for the sale of
PASSAGE TICKETS
From all the principal points in Europe
to all points in the United States.
Agent for the transmission of
MONEY
To all parts of Europe. Checks, Drafts,
and Letters of Exchange on Foreign
Banks cashed at reasonable ratsß.
S. RUDEWICK,
Wholesale Dealer In
Imported Brandy, Wine
And All Kinds Of
LIQUORS.
THE BEST
Beer,
Bcrter,
-<£>-le -A_n.d.
Brown Stont-
Foreign and Domestic.
Cigars Kept on Hand.
S. RUDEWICK,
SOUTH HEBERTON.
the laws, Showing
Patents, Caveats, Tra<wjffli^