WHEN THE HAltf COMES DOWN
ON THE TREES.
What are the nights that Hi* robin see*
When the rufri eoines down on the dark
green trees,
And on leuf and needie. on branch and lo'e, j
The globules trickle, and pause, and roll.
When the ruin comes down 011 the trees'
These are tlie sights that the robin sees
When the rain comes down on the dark green
trees,
And from leaf and needle, from branch and
bough,
The diamond drops come filtering through,
W hen the rain comes down on the trees:
The wind-flower hanging a penrl-rirnrued
head,
Where the wet mops covers its stony bed,
While the cowslip lifteth its gleaming cup
Some share of the hurrying drops to sup,
When the rain comes down on the trees;
And the lambs close-thronged by the dark
stemmed plane,
With ears low drooped, in the long green
lane.
While there by the brink of the whispering
rill
The dog-tooth violet drinks its fill
Of the rain that comes down ou the
trees;
And the kingbird trailing his strong-baned
wings,
While out in the clearing a sparrow sings.
And the robin's mate turns his eye's bright
rim
On the sward that his widespread dark vans
skim,
While the rain comes down 011 the trees; 1
And here in the orchard—a 6haft all gold—
An oriole slipping from hold to hold,
Whose swift wings spill from the pink-lipped
bloom
A something half raindrop and half per
fume,
While the rain comes down on the trees.
Such are the Bights that the robin sees
While the rain comes down 011 the dark green j
trees,
And bill and valley and plain and wold j
Are wrapped in the thin gray glittering fold ,
Of therain that comes down on the trees, j
—[Boston Transcript, j i
SANDY: A VAGABOND. 1
BY W. C. niBBS AND EDWIN TARRISBEE.
"Say, boss, I hoaryerwants er boy. Is 1
dat so?"
Mr. Whittington lookod up from his 1,
desk at the intruder. Before him stood
a small boy, ragged, unkempt, with a 1
dilapidated Imt in his hand, and a dirty ! 1
face that was brightened by a pair of 1
sharp gray eyes ana a grin. j
"No," said he, turning again to his
work; "I don't want a boy. Ho was ' t
not favorably impressed with the lud's
appearance. There was a moment's si- j j
lence.
"Sure yer don't want er boy tor run
arrands and do work 'round yer oflis?
Better take me, boss—l won't charge
much."
Mr. Whittington smiled and looked up
again. "What is your name?" he askeu.
"Sandy—Sandy Martin," replied the
little fellow, briskly.
"Where do you live? Have you a
home?"
"Xaw, ain't got 110 home. Jest put up
anywheres."
"What do you do for a living?" pur
sued his inquisitor.
"Oh, I sells do papers sometimes—l
kin read and write a little," he added, as
if he thought his value might bo en
hanced by this evidence of superior ed
ucation.
"Yes, but don't you do anything
else?"
Sandy hung his head for a moment. !
Then looking around cautiously, and !
coining up close to Mr. Whittiugton's 1
desk, he said confidentially—
"Say, boss, I'll jest tell yer the truth 1
about it. I've jest kim from New York
—rid on er freight. I run away," he an- J
nounced, impressively.
"Ran away," echoed Mr. Whittington. !
"Yes sir. Yer see, I've been with j'
two fellers what cracks safes and robs I •
houses, yer know—regular crooks—and 1
dey used to slip me thru do winders BO'S .'
to scout 'round and see how de Inn' laid, I
den let 'em in. I didn't like do job, an' j
dey used ter beat mo awful sometimes, 1
an* I got tired of it. Didn't fancy this '
bus'ness of gittin' inter people's houses
at night an' takin' whatb'longod terdein.
So last night when dey was 'round de '
corner ter do saloon 1 jest'eluded ter run .
away. I didn't want dat 110 more, so I j
skinned out. I wishyer'd gimme a job," j
lie went on. "I'll be honest wid yer, an' !
do de square t'ing."
Mr. Whittington was a little startled 1
at first. But as he noted how steadily
the hoy's clear, gray eyes met his
scrutiny, he felt that ho was telling the
truth.
"So you want to be honest, now."
"I ain't never did nothin' ter be
ersbamed of 'cept when dey made me,"
be said, "an' now I've run away from
dem. Yer'd better try me, boss--I'll be !
square," he repeated.
Mr. Whittington wanted a boy to look
after his real estate office. Tlie hid lie
hod dismissed the day before was untidv
and persisted in keeping the office smell'-
ingofcigarettes. Mr. Whittington detest
ed cigarettes. 11c was chary about taking
this chap for obvious reasons. Still, it'
the boy was tolling the truth, ho might
prove trustworthy if only given the op
portunity to lead a hotter life; it might
be the means of his growing up right,
and—well, Mr. Whittington had a good
deal of belief in human nature, and some
thing whispered to him that if he took
this boy he would he doing a charitable
thing, and one that he would not regret.
Yes, and he would take him home, too,
where ho might the better watch and
teach him.
So Sandy was duly installed in the
honorable position of office boy, at. three
dollars a week, and went home with Mr.
Whittington that night. It was enough
for Miss Whittington, who thought that
everything her brother did was right, for
him to bring this boy into their pretty
suburban home near Philadelphia. As
she was gifted with a good deal of the
milk of human kindness, she took Sandy
to her heart in a little while, and in time
110 became invaluable in the office and
around the house. He was so ready and
willing to work, and bad such a shrewd
way about him, child tluit lie was, that
Mr. Whittiugton's interest in him in
creased, and he began to think that there
might be a good future for him.
Miss Whittington took great pains to
teach him neatness and courtesy, and
spent much time with him over his Imoks
at night. Sandy's life in the metropolis
had developed in him that shrewdness
and alertness that one marks in the gam
ins of the street, lie had a good mem
ory and manifested much originality in
his opinions; always tinctured with a
worldly practicality that made Mr. Whit
tington smile and afforded him consider
able amusement in quizzing the little
fellow.
Two vears went by. and Sandy bad be
come nil institution in the house and
office. Mr. Whittington raised his salary
and trusted him more and more iu his
I duties, without putting temptation in his
| way. Sandy hud become devotedly at
tached to both his employer and Miss
Whittington, and that lady often told
her brother that she hud no fears for
Sandy's future or any doubts of his hon
esty if put to the test. The bad influ
ences of the boy's former associations
had seemingly passed away.
Late one afternoon the settlement iu
a transaction about some property was
made for a client who lived in the little
town where Mr. Whittington made his
home. The payment was ill cash, and
the client, a finicky old woman, had in
sisted upon it, and it was necessary, so
Mr. Whittington said, that the money be |
carried home that night and locked up
until Monday morning, when it might be
delivered to Mrs. Adams. Mr. Whit
tington know that lie would be delayed in
town late that night. So he went with
Sandy to the depot and put into his hand
a small satchel.
"Don't let that satchel out of your
sight for an instant," he said to Sandy,
as they stood for a moment alongside the
train. •Remember, there's ten thousand
dollars in it. Put it in the panel. 1 will
not be home until nearly morning."
Sanpy nodded in his quick way, and
boarded the train as it moved out. As
he swung himself onto the platform, a
! man stepped out from behind a pillar of
, the station, followed him, and turned
into the next car. Something in the in
dividual's figure struck Sandy as familiar,
but the car door had closed and he had
disappeared ere the boy could look
again.
Sandy left the train at the little subur
ban station and started oft* briskly for
homo. Once as he sped through the
quiet street he thought he heard foot
steps behind him, but on turning lie
could see nothing, for it was dark. Ho
attributed this idea to the fact of having
I the money with him, which made him
apprehensive.
I He reached home mid found that John
the servant, had left supper waiting. He
took the precaution to see to the fasten
ings of the doors and windows before
sitting down to the table—alone, for
, Miss Whittington was away on a visit
to New York. He pi\f the satchel in
front of him, for he did not wish it out of j
his sight until he could safely place it.
The house in which Mr. Whittington [
lived hud stood for many years, and had
| been owned by an old miser. 111 it there
I had been discovered a panel in the wall
j of the library, closing quite a deep ori
; fico. It had been found when the button
for an electric bell had been put in just
1 a little to the side. This was what Mr.
Whittington had referred to in his part
ing injunction.
Going to the library the boy found the
spring and deposited the satchel in the
orifice. Then lie breathed a sigh of re
lief. He did not fancy being burdened
I with ten thousand dollars.
I Try as he would that night, he could
not sleep, and two o'clock found him
wide awake and tossing restlessly. All
sorts of uncomfortable thoughts flashed
through his mind. Ho wished Mr. Whit
tington was home. Nonsense! What had
he to fear?
Hark! What was that? Sandy sat
bolt upright iu bed, his heart beating
furiously. He listened, but heard notli
| ing. 110 left the bed and stole to the
, lieud of the staircase. His sharp ears
detected stops below, and the sound of a
voice in a monotone. Sandy's blood was
up. He forgot the danger, and began
to descend the stairs like a cat. The
sounds below ceassd. The boy crept
down to the foot of the stairs; all was
dark. He took a step into the library.
In a moment he felt u hand at his throat,
' and before he could realize it, he was ly
ing on the floor. A lantern was flashed
in his face, and a voice, which he recog
nized at once, and which painfully
thrilled him, muttered, —
"Uinph, it's Sandy. I knowed it when
I saw yer ternight. Don't holler, or I'll
shut off yer air. So yer gin us de slip,
didn't yer? Smart feller, but yer played
inter our bands this time. Now, since
j yer hov kim down liynr ter make us a
special visit, s'pose yer tell us how ter
git dat money ye brought wid yer. Speak
| quick, 'cause we've got er pressin' en
gagement in another direction arter we
leave yer."
j Sandy was badly scared and made no
answer. "It's all up with me now," he
thought, lie was trying to gather his
I wits. The men lifted him to his feet.
He glanced furitively at his captors and
saw that they meant business. He knew
j what these men were, too. They were
1 waiting for him to speak now. Ho must
i gain time somehow.
"Come, hurry up now, git ter busi
ness," said the elder of the two men, who
seemed to do all tin* talking. "We've
been foolin' 'round long enough. We're
outer ver. 'cause we seen yer put dat
money in de hole. We've been lookin' |
ter it. but do combination's too much for 1
lis. Guess yer kuow it. So jest open;
her up."
Sandy's courage was slowly returning.
He was in a tight place, and he WHS
racking his brain for some means of j
getting out without losing the money.
He tried to temporize. The burglars
grew impatient.
"Yer little id jit," said the spokesman, I
making u movement as if to ehoke the
boy; "wot's de matter wid yer? Cunt I
yer open yer mouth? I—" then sud
denly he chunged his tactics.
".Say, my boy," assuming a wheedling
tone," tain tno use yer trvin' ter beat us.
I we've got yer dead. Come now, we won't
barm ye, if yer'll do the squa' t ing by
us. Let us inter dis pnnnel business,
an' we'll scoop de boodle, an' take yer
away wid us. We'll give yer u good
share of de stuff. It's cash an' we'll get
away wid it easy. Come now, yer don't
git such a chance like dis often."
An idea struck the boy. He must ap
pear to give into this man's offer, if lie
lioped to do anything. If he did not,
they would half kill him, and perhaps get
the money after ail.
There was but one chance, and our
hero seized it. As the older man made a
step toward him his eyes glittered
angrily. Sandy hacked off" into the cor
ner. and put out his hands.
"Hold on, gimme a show," In- ex
claimed, dropping into the old street ver
nacular. • Tain tno use ter fuss. I'll
show yer de place. I was kinder scary
at first, hut 1 pose yer means what yer
says. De panel's right here iu do wall,"
moving across the room. "I'll find it for
yer. Yer couldn't find it 'cause yer didn't
ketch the button what opens it."
i'oor little fellow, llis voico was un
steady, and In* was afraid every moment
that one of the men would strike him
down. He stepped a little to the left
tho panel, lie was trying to gain til#
"Say, fellers," said lie, turning around
"no funny business wid me now. I#unt.
yer to play square wid me." I
"Look here, Sandy," spojpo tin
- younger burglar, "stop yer gal> an' git to
) work."
"All right," replied the boy. His
• voice was a little steadier now. Turning
about again ho began to fumble along
the wall with one hand, while with the
1 other he pressed firmly against a spot
! about the height of his chest, stunding
close against the wall. After about two
1 minutes the men grew impatient again.
' "Say, boy," exclaimed the big man in
a hoarse whisper, "if yer don't open dat
hole iiißtanter I'll choke de life out of
yer! What's yer game now? Open up
there!"
"Hold 011. Jim, wait a minute," whined
I Sandy. "It's kinder hard ter fin' wid
notion' hut er lantern."
"Yer blamed idjit, does yer want us
ter light do gas?"
Sandy,s quick wit had reminded him
that the electric bell in the servant's
quarters, which he had just set ringing
: for two whole minutes by pressing the
button in the wall with his left hand,
might by a bare possibility attract at
tention at such an hour from someone in
the street or across tho way. It was a
slim chance, but the only thing that
could bo done. Thero was 110 sound
without. The first attempt had failed.
Now for the second, and Sandy pressed
again to the wall, fumbling with his
right hand, and again pushing the elec
tric button in as far as he could. He
could not hear the bell, but he know it
was ringing loudly.
"Look here, fellers, don't rattle me,"
ho pleaded. "I'll find it as soon as I
can. Dis panel is very nifty and yer
can't find it as asy as yer can open de
outside door." He moved his hand hur
riedly over the wall, as if for the spring
that would open tho panel.
His heart beat almost to bursting. Ho
grew disheartened. What if no one
came to his aid, and lie should be forced
to hand over his trust to these ruffians?
Never! lie closed his eyes tight, and
gave the button five quick pushes. Ho
listened intently.
Some one was pounding on tho lower
door. Quick as thought, to avoid tho
blow that he felt would come, Sandy
throw up his hands and with a scream
for help, fell backward. That instant
the front door was burst open, and there
came tho rush of heavy feet up the stairs.
With muttered oaths the two men leaped
for the door, overturning the two police
men us they passed through it.
Sandy was ou his feet now. 11c
dashed down the hall after the men.
; They wore making for the side window
I through which they had come. The
smaller man bolted through. The other
tried to follow, hut Sandy was upon him,
before he could get out.
As ho stumbled and threw himself into
the opening, the plucky boy jumped for
the sash, and bringing it down on tho
struggling wretch, pinned him fast for a
moment, until he was joined bv the
policemen. The distinguished leader of
the nocturnal expedition was then secured,
and inarched off, growling.
At tho station Sandy recounted tho
circumstances of the attempted robbery
and received many compliments for his
pluck and cleverness. "Just tho barest
chance in the world, me bye," said the
tall Irish sergeant, as lie patted Sandy 011
the back. The other burglar was never
caught.
Air. Whittington, 011 his return that
Sunday morning, was of course much
astonished at what had happened, and
much pleased with the part Sandy had
played in tho little drama. He confiden
tially- informed his sistcrsomctiino after
wards that this new evidence of the boy's
honesty and faithfulness had so impressed
him that his future was assured so long
as he remained with him.
And now, fivo years later, Sandv is
tilling the position of confidential inan
to his employer with much ability. His
future is indeed bright, and it will not be
surprising if in another year or so tho
sign over Mr. Whittiugton's otfice door
be changed for another that bears two
names.
Whenever Mr. Whittington catches
sight of that little old satchel 110 smiles
to himself and wonders if tho burglars,
had they been successful, would have
appreciated the fine quality of manilla
paper he had locked up in it.
However, Sandy, the quondam vaga
bond, is none the wiser.—[Yankee Blade.
Two Deadly Poisons.
Tho slow absorption of many poisons
changes iu some more or less modified
form the complexion, hut arsenic and
ammonia show their effect about as
quickly as any. The popular belief that
arsenic clears the complexion lias led
many silly women to kill themselves
with it in small, continued doses.
It produces a waxy, ivory-like appear
ance of the skin during a certain stage
of tho poisoning, but its terrible after
effects have become too well known to
make it of common use us a cosmetic.
The effects of ammonia upon tho com
plexion are directly the opposite to that
of arsenic. The first symptom of am
monia poisoning which appears among
j those who work in ammonia factories is a
discoloration of the skin of the nose and
j forehead. This gradually extends over I
the face until the complexion has a
I stained, blotched and unsightly appeur-
I unce. With people who take ammonia
; into their systems in smaller doses, as
with their water or food, theso striking
I symptoms do not appear so soon. The
j only effect of the poison that is wsible
I for a time is a general unwholosomcuoss
| and sallowness of the complexion,
j Many people are slowly absorbing am
monia poison without knowing it. The
use of ammonia in the manufactures has
greatly increased of late, and it is un
questionably used as an adulterant in
t certain food preparations. Official anal
yses have plainly showed its use even in
such cheap articles of every-day eon
r sumption as baking powders. The cou-
I tinued absorption of ammonia iu even
, minute quantities as an adulterant in
food is in jurious not merely from its ef
fect upon the complexion, hut because it
destroys the continent'the stomach, and
causes dyspepsia and kindred evils.
Professor Long of Chicago is authority
for the statement that if to 50,000,000
I parts of water there is one part, of am
monia tlie water is dangerous. -[Chicago
I Tribune.
Royal Fish.
Throughout the British dominions,
wlmlo and sturgeon tire royal tish, and
those cast ashore belong to the crown.
In old times the rule was that the king
should have the head of the whale, ami
the queen the tail, because the whalc
boiuK which was useful in her toilette,
an/ supposed to bo in the tail; the truth
hying, however, that both the whalebone
!/id the precious ambergris were to be
i/ound in the head. [llurper's Bazar.
f NOT THE RIGIIT KINO.
Ibisty Bob I shall never do der prod
; igat son act, Tim.
s Bvtsty Tim- Why not?
l.ht-ty Bob—l ain't got the right kind
0 of a papa.
,THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Rates Invariable—From Bad to
Worse—Cause of Her Pride—He
Took the Hint, Etc., Etc.
RATES INVARIABLE.
"Would you marry for money?"
"I take nothing else," replied the min
ister. —[Epoch.
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
Ethel—What do you think of Joblot's
engagement to Miss Scars?
jack—He might do worse.
Ethel—He will—he is going to marry
her.
CAUSE OF HER PRIDE.
Arabella—Why is Miss Passce so
proud?
Isabellu —Well, there ure two hundred
million engagement rings in the world,
and she has one of them. — [Jewelers'
Circular.
IIE TOOK THE HINT.
Jack (strolling home from the evening
services) —There used to be u law in New
England prohibiting kissing on Sunday.
Muudo (coyly) —Well, it isn't in force
now, is it?—[Puck.
A NEW USE FOR THE EMBLEM.
"Hullo! where is your engagement
ring? Is your engagement with Harold
oft?"
"Oh, 110, indeed! Ho took me out to
get soine ice cream last night, and we
bad to leave the ring as security for the
cream. Harold didn't have a cent."—
[Harper's Bazar.
TOO PLATONIC.
"What do you think of Miss Dymple?"
asked Whyte.
"Oh," said Smythe, "she's a good girl
in her way, but when she's flirting with
you you would never know it unless she
told you."—[Somerville Journal.
GOT HIS VACATION.
Mr. Bullion—By the way, Mr. Book
keep, you asked for a va—
Mr. Bookkeep—Oh, Mr. Bullion, I did
not think really you would allow me a
vacation during this busy season.
Mr. Bullion —cution. Well you may
take off two —
Mr Bookkeep—Thank you, Mr.
Bullion.
Mr. Bullion—Weeks, and then stay
away altogether.—[Jewelers' Circular.
A SCHEME THAT MISCARRIED.
If lie hadn't been fond of good living,
they say
He might have in singleness tarried,
But ho wanted a well prepared dinner
each day
And a cook he made love to and mar
ried.
But ho mude a mistake when the maiden
he took,
If for a good cook lie was looking;
Sho declares that she didn't get married
to cook,
But to have some one else do her cook
ing.
—[New York Press.
WHAT THEY THOUGHT OF EACH OTHER.
"Jones is a good enough fellow, but he
has a wonderful faculty fur making him
self ridiculous."
"Now that's very curious."
"Curious, is it?"
"I mean you saying that. Jones said
precisely the same thing about vou yes
terday."—[New York Press.
ROMANCE THAT MAY END IN TRAGEDY.
"The living skeleton lias fallen in love
with tho female Samson and is paying
uttentiou to her."
"Gracious! That may result in a
tragedy."
"How?"
"Suppose she shakes him?"—[Now
York rress.
OVERHEARD AT THE BRANCH.
"Ah," said Chappio, gleefully, "this
sea air mukos ine feel as fresh as a
daisy."
"Are you sure you weren't born so,
Mr. Hupkins?" naked the Summer Girl,
who was beginning to long for a change.
—[Xew York Herald.
KNCOURAUING IIER.
"Don't you think my beau vory liund
"l do, dear. And I congratulate you."
"Ah! there's many a slip, you know,
and I sometimes fear that somebody will
take hi in away from me."
"Don't trouble yourself about that,
dear. The homely men always get the
handsome women, you know, and the
rulr works the same the other way."—
[Now York Press.
INDIFFERENCE.
"Can you trace your family hack a
dozen generations?"
"I could if 1 desired, but 1 don't want
to."
"Why?"
"1 might be ashamed of myself if J
did.—[Truth.
INSPIRING.
"That composition of yours is truly
Wagnerian. Where did you get the
idea?"
"My hoy exploded a giant cracker
and a pack of ordinary crackers in my
upright piano last Fourth of July.—
[Epoch.
A GOOD FELLOW.
"You know Hill Savcry, don't you?"
"Yes, I know him."
"Hood fellow, isn't he?"
"Maybe so, hut there is moro fellow
than there is good übout him.—[Texas
Sittings.
THEN JOHNNY WAS SPANKED.
"What did that lady have the screen
across one end of the room for, ma?"
asked little Johnny, who had been mak
ing a call with his mother.
"1 suppose she had something there
she, didn't want seen," replied his
mother.
"And was that the reason, ma, that
when you thought she wasn't looking you
peeped behind it?"—[Harper's Bazar.
REASONABLE.
Ah! more than all I love the stolen
kiss—
Whereat the osculated cries " Alack!"
Because, detected, 'tis indeed such bliss,
In deep repeutanco then to givo it
back. —[Epoch.
THE MOUTH OF THE MISSOURI.
Algie—What an unromautic girl Miss
Choteau is! She shocked ino terribly
last night.
Charlie—lndeed! How was that?
Algie—At parting 1 asked her for ft
little kiss, and she said she eaino from
St. Louis, and her mouth wasn't built
for little kisses.—[Muusey's Weekly.
POWKR OP LOGIC.
The professor of logic (to himself) —I
laid my hut somewhere in this room.
Nobody has come in since I've been
here, i can't see it anywhere, therefore
(putting his hand beneath him), I have
sat on it. Another proof of the irresist
ible power of logic.—[Fliegendo Bluit
ter.
TIIE VALUE OF EDUCATION*.
Old Hownow—-80 you're through col
lege? What are you going to do now?
Young Smilax—Well, 1 hardly know;
I've had two oilers—one to go in a law
office for two years at $3 a week, and the
other to play third base on the League
team for $3,000 for the season.—[Boston
Courier.
1118 LITTLE DODGE.
Cutely—Here comes Cynicus. See me
get a cigar from him. (Lights u cigar
ette.)
Cynicus (as Cutely pull's the smoke in
his face) —Whew! How can you smoke
those things? Here, take this cigar and
threw that away.—[Puck.
HIS INFERENCE.
"I tell you frankly," said the young
ludy to the young journalist, "that your
company is agreeable to me, but I am
sure pupa will not permit me to receive
any attention from you, for he is awfully
down 011 the newspapers."
"Ho is down 011 the newspapers, is
he?" said the young journalist, smiling.
"What scrape has he been in?"—[New
York Press.
SPIDER AND FLY.
"Will you walk into my parlor?" said
the spider to the fly;
"Well, hardly," said the insect, as he
winked the other eye;
"Your parlor has uu entrance, but of
exit it is shy,
So I'll stay outside in safety and remain
a little fly."
lIIS SPECIALTY.
"Oh! yes. He's quite a remarkable
man. Able to concentrate his mind on
one particular subject, no matter how
great the crowd and confusion around
him. His power of abstraction is simply
wonderful."
"What is his special branch of
science?"
"Kleptomania, I think they call it."
—[Washington Post,
NOT 80 MUCH TO LOVE.
"You don't love,ine so much as you
did," pouted youu£ Mrs. Mcßride.
"Didn't I just now say you were worth
your weight in g<dd?" remonstrated her
husband.
"Yes, but yeu said that when we were
first married, mid 1 weigh seven pounds
less now.—[Pittsburg Chronicle.
A PLACE OF SAFETY.
Wogg—We had a terrible thunder
storm as I came up in the train this after
noon.
Wooden—Weren't you afraid of the
lightning?
Wuug—No. I got behind a brakeman.
Wi oden—Behind a brakeman? What
earthly good did that do?
\\ —Why, he was not a conductor.
[Boston Courier.
TWO VIEWS.
Miss Emcrsoiiiu liussell (from Beacon
Hill) —Don't you think Mr. Bowles's
countenance would arrest the workings
of the interior mechanism of a horologe?
Miss Calumetia Porcine (from Michi
gan avenue) —I don't know, but I think
it would stop a clock. —[Jewelers' Cir
cular.
IT VARIES.
"Is a point the end of a line?"
"Not always. Sometimes it's the end
of a pin."
A NEW FORM OF PROPOSAL.
Miss Simper—Aren't things much
cheaper than they were last year?
Calloway—Yes, indeed. I only pay
one half as much for my neckties. The dif
ference is so great that now (smilingly) I
could easily att'ord to get married.
Miss Simper—Oh, Mr. Calloway, this
is so sudden!"—[Clothier and Furnisher.
A TIMELY REBUKE.
They were walking in the starligh
fully three feet apurt, when he broke the
silence by saying:
"Do you think the stars are watching
us?"
"Perhaps they are," she replied, "but
it doesn't matter much; they are not
likely to see anything."
A Crisis in an Elevator.
Mr. Douglas Brown was seated in the
the elevator of the Kankakee building
the other afternoon when a sudden cry
from the elevator hoy awoke him from
the brown study iu which he had fallen,
to face a terrible danger. The machinery
Imd refused to work, and the cab was
tearing up toward the roof at 1111 alarm
ing rate.
The elevator hoy, Charlie Miller, real
ized this just after the cab started, and
when the third floor was reached, threw
open the door and threw himself out, re
ceiving a severe blow from the door
jamb as he did so.
Mr. Brown instinctively realizing that
something wrong had occurred sprang to
the rope and endeavored to stop the cab.
This proved futile, for the machinery be
low refused to obey the tension on the
rope. As tho fourth floor was passed
Mr. Brown took n, good look at tho door,
and more particularly the knob, for he
had made up his mind to imitate the ac
tion of tho boy ftud escape from the cab.
The thought that if lie did not succeed he
would probably bo killed caused him to
brace his nerves for a supreme effort.
When the knob came in sight ho
reached up and by a quick motion threw
it back. Then he jumped out, landing
on all fours on the floor of the Western
Union Telegraph Company's operating
room. His sudden appearance rather
frightened a number of voting ladies who
were near the shaft at the time. Just as
he struck tho floor he heard the cab crash
through the ceiling, tho startling sound
being followed by the cracking of timbers
and the breaking of glass. —[Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Trade Schools Useful.
The editor of tho Builder and Wood
Worker believes in trade schools. It
gives a young man, in a few months, in
struction that it would take him the same
number of years to "pick up" haphazard
in a shop, and accompanies this instruc
tion with a technical and scientific teach
ing of the whys and wherefores of his
work that the shop seldom or never fur
nishes. At the suino time, it enables
him to reach tho stage at which ho at
tains a value as a mechanic much earlier
than if he went into a shop as a boy. Ho
can commence with the trade sobools in
his seventeenth or eighteenth year, and
would bo just as far as tin* shop boy on
completing bis trade school course, with
the? incalculable advantage, if lie has
wisely uoed his time, of possessing tho
foundation for an education that will over
help him*
YOU ARE INVITED
To call and inspect our im
mense stock of
DRY GOODS,
Groceries, Provisions,
FURNITURE, Etc.
Our store is full of the new
est assortment. The prices are
the lowest. All are invited to
see our goods and all will be
pleased.
J. P. McDonald,
B.W. Comer Centre and South Bts., Freeiand.
FERRY & CHRISTY,
dealers In
Stationary, School Books,
Periodicals, Song Books, Musical
Instruments,
CIGARS and TOBACCO,
siFOZEaTiiisra- G-OOIDS
Window Fixtures and Shades, Mirrors,
Pictures and Frames made to order.
Pictures enlarged and Framed.
Crayon Work a Specialty.
41 Centre Street, Quinn's Building
SEWSPAPER SSSSs
liIEETISIIGiSiHSI
the name of every newspaper published, hav
ing a circulation rating in the American News
paper Directory of mere than 25,000 copies each
Issue, with the cost per lino lor advertising in
them. A list of the best papers of local circula
tion, in every city and town of more than 5,000
population with prices by the inch for one
month. Speciul lists of daily, country, village
and class papers. Bargain offers or value to
small advertisers or those wishing to experi
ment judiciously with a small amount of money.
Shows conclusively "how to get the inost ser
vice for the money," etc., etc. Sent post paid
to any address for :W cents. Address, Quo. P.
HowKi.i. & Co., Publishers and General Adver
tising Agents, 10 Spruce Street, New York City.
y, C. D. ROHRBACH,
Dealer in
Hardware, Paints, Varnish,
Oil, Wall Paper, Mining
Tools and mining Sup
plies of all kinds,
Lamps, Globes, Tinware, Etc.
Having purchased the stock
of Wm. J. Eckert and added a
considerable amount to the
present stock I am prepared to
sell at prices that defy compe
tition.
Don't forget to try my special
brand of MINING OIL.
Centre Street, Freeland Pa.
E. M. GERITZ,
20 years In Germany and America, opposite
the( .antral Hotel, Centre Street, Freelaeu. The
Cheapest ltcpuiring Store in town.
Watches. Clocks and Jewelry.
New Watches, Clocks and
Jewelry on hand for the Holi.
days; the lowest cash price in
town. Jewelry repaired in
short notice. All Watch Re
pairing guaranteed for one
year.
Eight Day Clocks from $3.00
to $12.00; New Watches from
$•1.00 up.
E. M. GERITZ,
Opposite Central Hotel, Centre St., Freeland.
GO TO
Fisher Bros.
Livery Stable
FOR
FIRST-CLASS TURNOUTS
At Short Notice, for Wedding*, Parties and
Funerals. Front Street, two squares
below Freeland Opera House.
JOB
PRINTING
QXKOUTBD AT THIS 07*101 AX
Lowest Living Prices.
The undersigned has been appoint
ed agent for the sale of G. B. Markle
Highland Coal.
The quality of the Highland Coal
needs no recommendation, being hand
picked, thoroughly screened and free
from slate, makes it desirable for
Domestic purposes. All orders left
at the TRIBUNE office will receive
prompt attention.
Price $3.73 per two-horse wagon
load. T. A. BUCKLEY, Agent.
PETER TIMONY,
BOTTLER,
And Dealer in all kinds of
Liquors, Beet and Porter,
Temperance Drinks,
Etc., Etc.
Geo.Ringler&Co.'s
Celebrated LAGER BEER put
in Patent Sealed Bottles here
on the premises. Goods de
livered in any quantity, and to
any part of the country.
FREELAND BOTTLING WORKS,
Cor. Centre and Carbon Sts., Freeiand.
(Near Lehigh Valley Depot.)
H. M. BRISLIN,
UNDERTAKER
AND
Also dealer in
FURNITURE
of every description.
Centre Street, above Luzerne, FYeeland.
7
jSRAVIN CUREiiI
The Moat Successful Remedy ever dlscow
ered, un It Is certain in Its effects and does
not blister. Head proof below.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE.
OITK-E or CniRLM A. BKTDER, )
BREEDER OF V
CLEVELAND BAT AND TROTTING BRED HORSES. )
N- T, T tr „ KL *WOOD, 111., NOV. AU, 1888.
DR. B. J. KENDALL CO.
% ar - s,r !. : 1 i luve purchased your Ken
dftU?. Spavhi Curo by the half dozen Dottles, I
would like prices In larger quuntity. I think It Is
one or the best liniment* on earth. I have used It
en my stables for three years.
Yours truly, CHAR. A. SNYDER.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURL
_ _ BROOKLYN, N. Y„ November 8, 1888.
DR. B. J. KENDALL Co.
Dear Sirs : 1 desire to give yon testimonial of my
good opinion of your Kendall's Spavin Cure. I have
used It for I.anienese. Stiff Joints and
Hpnvins, and I have found It a sure cure, I cordi
ally recommend It to all horsemen.
Yours truly. A. H. GILBERT,
Manager Troy Laundry Stables.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN DURE.
„ , , BA ,T R ' WINTON COUNTT, OHIO, Dec. 19, 1888.
DS. B. J. KENDALL Co.
Gents: I feel It niy duty to say what I have done
with your Kendall's Spavin Cure. I have cured
twenty-live horses that hod Spavins, ten of
Ring Hone, nine afflicted with Big Head and
seven of llig J aw. Since I have had one of your
books and followed the directions, I have never
lost a case of any kind.
P Yours truly, ANDREW TTTRNTR.
Horse Doctor.
KENDALL'S SPAVIN CURE.
Price $1 per bottle, or six bottles for AS. All Drug
gists have It or can get it for you, or It will be sent
to any address on receipt of price by the proprie
tors. DR. A J. KENDALL CO., Enosburgh Falls, Vt.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
A. RUDEWICK,
GENERAL STORE.
SOUTH HEBERTON, PA.
Clothing, Groceries, Etc., Etc.
Agent for the sale of
PASSAGE TICKETS
From all the principal points in Europe
to all points in the United States.
Agent for the transmission of
MONEY
To all parts of Europe. Checks, Drafts,
and Letters of Exchange on Foreign
Hanks cashed at reasonable
S. RUDEWICK,
Wholesale Dculer In
Imported Brandy, Wine
And All Kinds Of
LIQUORS.
THE EEST
33eer,
Sorter,
-A-le And
Brown Stout.
Foreign and Domestic.
Cigars Kept on Hand.
S. RUDEWIGK,
SOUTH HEBERTON.
iMIEHISg
A pamphlet of Information nndab-
MXstractuf the laws,showing How u, KB
Obtain Patents, Caveat *,
Marks, Copyrights, ami jrcc./MMa&
MUNN A. CO. MWS9