FLOWERS OR WEEDS.
TTpon the grave of him who dies
In Wales they plant some flower, intended
By nature or hue, to symbolise
Tho life that now on earth its ended.
80, does a maiden die unwed,
Of blatnelees deedts and fame unspotted,
Her history is clearly rend
In the white rose to her allotted.
Or, is it one whose every day
Was full of love's unselfish labors,
The red rose doth his life portray,
Placed on his grave by grateful neighbors.
And sometimes, though but seldom so,
For man is everywhere forgiving,
Are worthless weeds allowed to grow.
Their tale to tell und warn the living.
Ah, reader, scanning now these lines,
What would men plant—thy past disclos
ing
Thus through such sure though simple
signs—
Where thou shalt lie so soon reposing?
—[Tick's Moguzine.
H in His On Defence.
"Have I your honor's permission to
make a statement?"
4 'Your honor!" cried Lawyer Lang,
springing to his feet; "your honor, bc
for you pass on this request I should like
to make a statement myself."
4 'What is it, Mr. Lang?" asked the
judge.
4 'lt's just this," said Mr. Lang, with
something more than his usual acerbity;
4 'you remember, of course, that when
this man, Cephas Love, was first brought
to trial he was without counsel; that he
refused to secure any, and that you there
fore peremptorily appointed nie as such.
The appointment was useless, for the de
fendant has absolutely and uncondition
ally refused to say a word to me concern
ing his case. I wish it to be distinctly
understood, however, that this silence of
the (lefeudaut's has been maintained iu
the face of my most diligent efforts to
break down his reserve, for while I first
accepted your honor's injunction per
functorily, I ended by becoming deeply :
interested iu what is certainly a unique 1
case—so far as my practice goes. What
I wish to state with particular stress is, i
that I am absolutely and entirely igno-1
rant of the nature of the statement which '
Mr. Love has asked permission to make.
Ih fact, sir, all I can officially claim to
know of this man is. that on the 14th of
this month of August, 1800, he was j
found in the very act of throttling an-;
other man to death at No. 803 Pine '
street, in this city and county I
0f Ban Francisco; that he was arrested ;
SD flagrante delictu by Officer Thomp- j
on; and that he has been confined in the
city prison ever since. He is no more a
client of mine than is your honor, and it
would be a gross misuse of terms to style
him a 'defendant.'"
As .Mr. Lang sat down, the man re
ferred to as Cephas Love shook hands
with him cordially, and repeated his re-1
quest for a hearing.
"It is a rather unusual proceeding—at!
this stage of the trial," said the judge,
"for a person in your position to make a
statement, but the whole proceedings in
this ease have been unusual. Moreover,
I have not the right to deny you. Do
you wish your statement to appear as ev
idence?"
"Yes, sir."
"Take your place on the witness
stand, then, and be sworn."
lie repeated the clerk's mumble-jum
ble of words with slow emphasis, and
laid an intonation upon the concluding
words, "So help me God," that gave
thcin a reverential effect not often heard
in that court-room.
The sketch which the artist of a morn
ing paper was at this moment making,
showed a tiny, neat man, sitting primly
with crossed legs and smoothing out the
folds of a red silk handkerchief spread
over his knees. His hands, face and :
scnlp were of a false ruddiness that was
caused by a net-work of small veins in
the skin, and that was mndo all the more
vivid by the contrast of n fringe of flax
white hair nnd two patches of close
trimmed whiskers that lay on each cheek
like small powder-puffs. His eyes were
light-blue and moist; his lips were thin
and straight; and the rest of his features
ordinary and inexpressive. He was
dressed in n suit of dark-gray clothes, and
looked something between an upper
servant and a small lawyer. There had
been even more than the usual interest
felt in the ctisc, the court-room was
crowded, and when the prisoner began
there was a strained attention to hear
what he had to say. mndc all the more
necessary because of the low and rather
thick voice in which ho spoke.
"My name is correctly given on the
documents in the case, I believe," lie
began; "besides which, it has been on
the city directory for tho past thirty-two
years. It is Cephas Clavering Love, al
though the middle name is very seldom
used. lam sixty-three years of age, and
was born at Memphis, Tcun., on the
thirteenth of April, 1827. I came to
San Francisco thirty-three years come
gext Christmas eve, and for twenty one
years thereafter I was a clerk for the law
firm of Kittridge & Shaw, as I believe
your honor well knows. For the past
twelve years I have been engaged in the
law stationary department of -Messrs.
Rocker & Coe. These gentlemen, to
gether with many others, I understand I
have the right to summon as witnesses to
testify as to my general good character,
but I shall put nono of them to this in
convenience——"
"Proceed, Mr. Love," said the judge,
for the witness had stopped and was
nervously rubbing the palms of his small,
withered hands with his handkerchief.
"Thank you, your honor," said the
old man, "I'm not used to making long
speeches. All 1 need further say in any
preliminary way about myself is, that I
am a widower, with one married daugh
ter living in Norfolk, Virginia; that I
urn a member of Dr. Wall's church; that
1 live temperately, drinking but little
and smoking less; and that 1 am arpite.t,
law respecting, Hod-fearing old man. Vet
I sit here to-day in this court a mur
derer."
"Your honor," exclaimed Mr. Lang,!
once move springing to his feet. "I must
insist that the witness lie instructed.
Your honor knows thai a plea of not
guilty was entered in the court of cx
iminaton, and a similar pica has been
formally entered in this court of arraign
ment. This man is on trial; he has not
been convicted, and I cull upon your I
honor to instruct the witness that ho
must not use such terms of self-nccusn
tlon, as well as to inform the jury that
they pay no atlcntion to the wild words
of the svitness."
"Tho witness is thoroughly conversant
with legal practices, I believe, Mr.
Lang," said the judge, "and fully ap-
Srcciates the gravity of his position and
ic necessity for carefully weighing
what he has to say. Nevertheless if—"
"Excuse me, your honor," said the old
man Love, gently stretching out a some
what shaky hand toward the judge:
"you need not caution me, your honor
I am, as you say, thoroughly aware ol
the gravity of ray words—and position.
What I say is simply the truth, and the
truth can injure no one. I am a raur
derer, and I purpose telling th st ly ol
my crime without attempting any pallia
tion."
There was a stir in tho court-room,
and a veiled woman—the mother of the
victim, it was said—leaned forward in
her chair and sobbed.
"Your honor," cried Mr. Lang, again
on those ready feet of his; "there is an
attempt at sensationalism here," with a
vibrating forefinger pointed in the direc
tion of the sobbing woman, "and I ask
that it be stopped."
"Well, now." said the prosecuting at
torney with hot sarcasm; "we must say
we like that. During the whole of these
proceedings we haven't said a blessed
word. We've allowed you to put your
inan on the witness stand with all the
stage-effect you wanted and without a
boo; and now, because this poor, be
reaved woman this heart-stricken
mother—gives way to her natural grief
when the terrible crime that robbed her
of her darling is brought to her mind,
you—you, sir, who should be the last
man to make a sound, go to blabbing
about sensationalism. Why, sir "
"That will do, gentlemen," said the
judge, quietly but firmly, for Mr. Lang
was actually bounding about in his anx
iety to make his retort. "Go on, sir,"
he added, turning to the defendant, who
during the discussion had busied him
self folding his red handkerchief into a
neat, square package.
" Since workiug for Messrs. Rocker &
Coe," Cephas Love continued, "I have
been in the habit of walking down to
the store along Pine street each morning
from my boarding-house, at the corner
of Larkin and James' streets. On the
sixteenth of June last, or it might have
been the seventeenth, I noticed that No.
803, after having been vacant for many
months, was about to be tenanted. The
next morning, and it was a Friday, I re
member, my attention was again attract
ed to No. 863, and this time by a very
peculiar incident. The two windows on
the ground floor, where the parlor was
evidently situated, were draped with
heavy curtains of some maroon-colored
stuff, after a fashion which used to be in
vogue for dining-rooms when I was a
boy. As I was passing the house, the
curtain nearer me was drawn aside and a
face peered out—such a face as frightens
a child in what are called its 4 bad
dreams.' "
44 Describe it, Mr. Love," said the at
torney Lang.
"I can not," said the witness, putting
out both hands in a gesture of repulsion
that was strangely energetic in a man
seemingly so placid and undemonstra
tive; 4 'it was more of a mask than a
face. Not one of these grotesque masks,
you understand, but one of vacuity—a
blank, an emptiness, a soulless nothing.
The eyes were bi<, wide open, with the
white showing all around the pupil be
tween the fixed lids. Tho cheeks palo
and flabby, the nose a line, aud the
mouth half open, with the lower lip i
drooping."
Here a strange thing happened, for |
while the prisoner described the face,
his own took on that of the creature be
was delineating, until in the place of the
little old gentleman of semi-clerical as
pect there appealed the doddling head
of a mowing idiot. The red handker
chief had been snatched up from where
it lay smoothly folded over on his knee,
and was now grasped in both hands like
a ball.
"I could only see his face," said Love,
dropping buck, so to speak, into him
self, "because he brought the curtains
close up about his neck, like a garment—
like a dressing-gown. After I had moved
on a few paces, I turned around, for so
strange was the impression produced on
me that I can liken it to little less than
fascination. The face hud not moved,
but the great staring eyes were still
fixed on me as the eyes of a portrait done
iu oil painting always seem to bo, no
matter where the observer may move.
More than once during the day I fcund I
myself thinking of this vacant, fatuous I
face, and then toward tho afternoon I i
managed to dismiss it with the resolu
tion that it belonged to some poor, un
fortunate being, whose friends preferred
to take private charge of him rather than
to send him to an asylum, and that his
presence at the window was due to tho
temporary absence of those whoso duty
it was to look after him. But with all
this common sense view of the matter, I
found myself stupidly excited and nerv
ous as I drew near the house next morn
ing. Well, sir—l mean, your honor—
the fellow must have been watching for
me, for as I came opposite the windows
again, a thin, white hand parted the
curtains and the vacaul fuce was turned
once more upon mo. This time, I
thought that the eyes, though fixed and
wide open, hud the light of a nasty
smile in them and that the drooping
lower lip was shot out in a grimace of 1
contempt. I had a stout walking-cane
in my hand," said the witness, jumping
up, "nud I threatened the fellow with it
iu this way." Hero he shook out the
red-silk handkerchief and waved it rap
idly toward the jury-box as though it
were a danger-signal, tine of tho jury
men drew back, with a little nervous
start, and the judge looked curiously at
the defendant-witness.
" Control yourself, Mr. Love," said he,
"and tell your story as calmly us pos
sible."
"I will, your honor," he replied, with
meekness and an instant change of de
meanor, although it was noticed that
great beads of perspiration had broken
out on his forehead, and that, now and
then, these merged themselves one iu the
other and than run trickling down his
face like au overcharged raindrop on a
window-pane.
" For two or three days I changed my
way to tho office," ho continued, "and
took another street, so as to escape the
sight of this oppressive face. It was a
useless precaution, however, for what
had been a day-horror now became
a nightmaie. For tho first time
in my life, I became tho victim of
insomnia. The horrible blank features
covered the walls like a patterned paper;
they wore as visible iu the darkness as in
the light; they kept my eyes open and
stared into them: and they covered me
like waves rolling over my bed. The
void, meaningless face was with me in a
hundred fantastic and distressing shapes,
and I felt that I could have strangled
the beast of a possessor had he come
within my grasp."
I The little man' 3 voice rose into a
screech, the dull blue eyes flashed like a
moving mirror, and his chest heaved,
while he twisted the red-silk handker
chief iuto a scarlet rope.
"On the morning of tho third sleep
less night, lie went on, sinking his
voice into a hoarse whisper, while the
crowd in the court-room leaned forward
as one man to hear what was being said
—"on the third morning I got up and
determined to put an end to it all. I
took out a razor, threw back my collar,
in this way, and was going to cut my
throat, when the idea entered my head
that I would first go and squeeze the
.ife out of my tormenting devil, and
then come back and make away with
tnyself. Dressing hurriedly, I ran
down stairs and into the street. I was
in front of 803, like a flash of double
creased lightning. Quick as I was, the
monstrous villain was just as quick.
Back went the curtains, as though
jerked by red Zamiel himself, and out
shot the face —a scarecrow that would
frighten the very blue-birds of heaven.
No doubt about it, the ghost-like thing
was mocking me now—mocking my mis
ery, mocking poor old me, who had been
cursed by it for forty million years. I
don't know what I said. Call them
black, bad words. All the blood rushed
to my head, until my cars rang like the
seven bells of Kingdom Come. With a
one, two, three, I was in the house; and
with a four, five, six, I was squeezing his
wind pipe—like this.'*
•'Look out, judge!" yelled Mr. Lang,
while a cry of horror rose from the peo
ple.
The judge had been gently swinging
himself around in a quarter-circle on his
chair, looking keenly now at the curious
witness, and now inquiringly at the
prosecuting attorney. As he swung
around the last time, the prisoner leaped
[ out from his place, as though moved by
a steel spring, and flung himself upon
the judge like a cat. The shock threw
1 the judge out of the chair, aud both
went down together. There were snarls
and screams from behind the desk, and
when the bailiff leaped in, the prisoner
had wound the red silk handkerchief
around the judge's neck, and was tug
ging at it like a demon. A dozen other
rescuers were on hand the next minute,
but it took nearly the whole of their
misdirected strength to tear away tho
shrieking, frothing maniac and carry
him down-stairs to the safer accommoda
tion of the "tanks."—[San Francisco
Argonaut.
I== "Csj-
Making Artificial Ice.
The process of making artificial ice is
interesting, the machinery and appliances
simple when understood. Aunydrous
ammonia and brine are the direct agents
which make the ice. In immense tanks,
which cover nearly the entire floor of the
large building of the factory, numerous
coils of pipe arc set four feet apart.
Through these pipes passes the anhydrous
ammonia. The tauks are filled with
brine of the required strength, and two
large engines pump the ammonia through
the pipe, absorbing the heat in the brine,
cooling it down to a temperature of 10 to
14 degrees above zero. Galvanized iron
cans filled with distilled water arc then
lowered between the pipes into this brino
bath, and the freezing process com
mences. It takes about forty hours to
freeze the water in these cans into a solid
cake of ice. The caus when frozen solid
are taken out, immersed in hot water for
a moment, and the cake of ice is released
from the can ready for market. Clear
as crystal, these cakes are stored in ware
houses for use as occasion demands.
These tanks hold seventeen hundred
cans, each can when frozen producing a
block of ice weighing 300 pounds. At
one end of the tanks two centrifugal
pumps keep the brine in continual agita
tion, necessary to throw off heat and keep
the bath at the low temperature.
By reason of the agitation of the brina
all cans freeze alike in the immense bath.
The tanks, when once filled, furnish a
continual supply of ice every twenty-four
hours. Bows of cans drawn are imme
diately replaced with fresh cans as soon
as those frozen ure taken out, tho
present ice product of this plaut being
240,000 pounds of ice daily.—[Chicago
Herald.
"Wit and Satire in Wills.
One might suppose that will-making
was anything but a merry occupation,
uud yet the drollery of the wills that
some eccentric old fellows have left be
hind could hardly be surpassed. Dean
Swift could not have concocted a more
bitter joke than that of the testator who,
after reciting the obligations he was un
der to a particular friend, bequeathed to
him, at the bottom of the first page of
his will, ten thousand dollars, of
course, thought the delighted legutec;
but, on turning the leaf, the bequest
was discovered to be ten thousands
thanks. What a wet blanket for "great
expectations 1"
Just as odd was tho codicil of the
death-stricken humorist who left to cer
tain of his dear relatives "as many acres
of land as shall be found equal to the
area enclosed by tho track of the center
of the oscillation of the earth in a revolu
tion round the sun, supposing the mean
distance of tho sun to be twenty-one
thousand six hundred semi-diameters of
the earth from it." This was a century
ago; and as the problem could not be
satisfactorily worked out, the legatees
were kept at a mean distance from the
property ail their lives.
Origin of the Hat.
The hat, in its origin, is a thing purely
ornamental. Except iu arctic climes,
where as much as possible of the body
must be covered to keep out the cold,
savages have never thought of protecting
the head. With us it is a matter purely
of cultivation, the necessity for a head
covering growing out of the habit of em
ploying it. The beginning of the hat was
what you find it among savage peoples
to-day—a tuft of feathers, a bunch of
porcNy>ine quills, or what not. Every
race ta\i the manner of its head covering
from whatever ornamental material is
produced naturally bv the country it in-
I habits. Thus you find South Americans
j using for the purpose the bright colored
plumes of the birds which find in tile
tropical portions of that continent their
1 habitat. Perhaps the most beautiful of
j all head coverings over devised is that
| worn by the Indian chief who is decor
ated on occasions of ceremony with a sort
j of turban set with a crown of eagle's
feathers, which not only encircle his
cranium in right royal fashion, but des
cend to the ground in a fringe at right
angles with his vertebial column.—
[Washington Star.
Sound at Different Angles.
In some recent experiments on the
range of human hearing, the ticking of a
watch was distinctly audible at a distance
of 10 feet on a line at right angles to the
head. On moving the watch 13 degrees
in front of the line, the tick could be
heard 14 feet away; at an angle of 40
degrees only (1 feet, and at 35 degrees,
only three feet. Placed 25 degrees back
of the line the watch could not be heard
beyond (i feet. The total range of hear
ing was about 95 degrees, the direction
of greatest accuteness being 15 degrees in
front of the imaginary line through the
ears. Descending from the horizontal,
the hearing distance increased from 10
feet to a maximum of 12 feet at 35 de
grees, and then decreased until reduced
to 3 feet at 50 degrees. On carrying the
watch upward the sound decreased
steadily until at an angle of 60 degrees
I it could be heard only 3 feet away.
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
A Man of liusineHs —Nearlng the
Homestretch —The Next Question
—He was a Clever Waiter, etc.,
etc.
AH UNPLEASANT REMINDER.
Singleton (singing)—Oh, there's music
in the air, music
Benedict—Please don't sing that. It's
an unpleasant reminder.
"Of what?"
"Of how my two-year-old heir howls
when he wakes up at night."—[Lf wrence
American.
WHAT HE WANTED TO DO.
Jolliboy--I wish I had SIOO,OOO.
Mrs. Jolliboy—Why, what would you
do?
Jolliboy—Nothing.—[Bazar.
A MAN OF BUSINESS.
Teacher—Willie, can you name the
five senses?
Tommy (from back seat) —I can toll.
Teacher—Well, Tommy, what are
they?
Tommy—A half dime.—[New London
Telegraph.
JUST LIKE HIS IMPERTINENCE.
Old woman presents herself at the
booking office, and asks for a third-class
ticket.
"Where for?" inquired the clerk.
' 'That's my businoss!" was the reply.
—[Oictionnaire Universel.
ACCOUNTED FOR.
"How do you like your new minister,
Cora," asked her father.
"Oh, he's just splendid. He draws
twice as large congregations as the Rev.
Mr. Oldwun, whom he succeeds."
"I suppose he is much more eloquent
and impressive than Mr. Oldwun."
"N no. He is ruthcr an ordinary and
tiresome speaker, but he's young, hand
some and unmarried."
"Oh, yes, I understand," said her
father. "The increase in the congrega
tion is made up wholly of young wo
men."—[Norristowu Herald.
BV FLOOD AND FIELD.
Wings—l had an awful experience
with sharks off the coast of Maine.
Wangs—l had a narrow escape from
them in Kansas.
"Kansas?"
"Yes. Iteal estate sharks." —[St. Joseph
News.
JOnNNV'S HANDS.
Mother—Johnny, you said you'd been
to Sunday-school.
Johnny (with far-away look)—Yes'm.
Mother—How does it happen that
your hands smell fishy?
Johnny—l carried home th' Sunday
school paper, an'—an' th' outside page
is all about Jonah an' th' whale.—[New
York Weekly.
HEARING TNE HOMESTRETCH,
lie was tuking her home after the the
atre and a little supper at Uelmonico's.
"Darling," said lie, suddenly, as he
gazed dreamily at the silvery disc over
head, "why am I like the moon?"
"It isn't because you're full, is it?"
Bhc asked, as she edged away from him.
"No," said he, sadly, "I'm on my last
quarter."—[Our Society Journal.
HE WAS A CLEVER WAITER.
In a restaurant. A frightfully bald
customer has just begun his dinner,
when he suddenly calls the waiter and
points to a hair in the soup.
"Where did that come from?"
"It must bo monsieur's."
The customer, evidently much flat
tered, replied:
"No doubt, my good fellow, no doubt."
—[Fun.
MADE nrn SICK.
"What's the matter with Jimpsou that
he lias taken to his bed?"
"His wife persisted yesterday in read
ing some old love letters he sent her be
fore marriage."—[Epoch.
KIND-HEARTED BRIDGET.
Cooking-school Girl—Bridget, what
did you do with that cake I baked yes
terday? Mr.Fincfello is here, and I want
to give him some.
Bridget—Wull, mum, I'll get it fur
ye if ye say so; but sure it isn't me wud
be discooragiu' a noico young mon like
that.—[New York Weekly.
THE ONLY KIND OP 11EAU SHE nAB.
"I do love archery so well 1" exclaimed
Miss Elder, enthusiastically.
"Yes," replied Miss Amy; "it gives
you a chance to have a bow."—[West
Shore.
WHAT HE MEANT.
I understood you to say that your
charge for services would be light," com
plained the client when the solicitor
handed him a big bill. " I believe I did
say my fee would be nominal," was the
lawyer's reply, " but " " Oh, I see,"
hastily interrupted the client, "you
meant phenomenal."—[Chatter.
WHY as CAME.
1 Landlady (delightedly) And Dr.
Curenono advised you to come here ?
"Yes; I'm under treatment and he
said I must avoid overeating."
FATAL OBJECTION.
Uncle Ned—l've brought you a nice
little dog, Johnny, tho best one you ever
saw.
Johnny—l—don't think I'll like him.
Uncle Ned (astonished) —AVhat's the
matter ?
" Thar ain't tail enough to tie a can
to."—[Binghamton Republican.
IMPORTANT BUSINESS.
"Cyrus, I want you to go down town
with me. I want to pick out a new
necktie for you."
"Have we time enough before the
shops close, Emily?" replied the capital
ist, consulting his watch.
"Y'es, if we hurry. It's only a little
after one o'clock."
"All right, my dear. Go and get
ready. I've got to step around the cor
ner and buy a railroad. I will be back
in ten minutes."—[Pittsburg Chronicle-
Telegraph.
A MEMORY AID.
Goodfello—Here's your health, old fel.
By the way, what is that knot in your
handkerchief for?
Jollifello—Hem! That is to remind
me that I've sworn off.
Goodfello —But you just this minute
took a drink.
Jollifello—Y-e-s. Fact is I never see
the knot till I tuke out my handkerchief
to wipe my mouth.—[New York Week
]y.
THE ONLY INCUMBRANCE.
"I am going to marry a mansion on
Wabash avenue," remarked one Chicago
woman to another.
" Any encumbrance ?" asked her
friend.
"Only a husband."—[Pittsburg Chron
icle.
A NOTABLE DOLLAR.
" This is a very remarkable coin," said
Gilroy, producing a dollar.
" How so ?" asked Larkin.
"Why, in the last twelve years the
Government has coined just 349,938,001
of them."
"Well?"
" Well, this is the odd one."
FEMININITY.
Tom—What a bright girl Blanche is.
She seldom opens her mouth without
pearls dropping therefrom.
Eva—Where did you get that idea?
Have her teeth been falling out again ?
[Terre Haute Express.
TRAVELING OUTFITB.
Trunk Dealer—l see. Want something
for a six months' tour abroad. Well,
madam, in the adjoining building I have
a trunk which I'm sure you will like.
Can't get it in the store-room; double
door is too narrow. I thought of re
modeling it and using it for a sen-shore
cottage, but if it will suit you I will let
you have it cheap.
Dame—l'm not the one who is going
abroad; It's my husband.
"Oh! George, show the lady one of
those vostpocket hand-satchels."—[Good
News.
A FIXED HABIT.
Mr. Glum—l really believe your nose
turns up. I never noticed it before.
Mrs. Glum—l presume it has got to
turning up since I married you.—[New
York Weekly.
THE NEXT QUESTION.
Employer (sternly)— You were absent
without leave yesterday, Mr. Cliallic.
Clerk—l am sorry, sir, but I was sick.
Employer—O that's all right! How
did the fish bite? —[Epoch.
A SUFFICIENT REASON.
"I shall never marry," said Mr. Hicks.
"Why not?"
"Because I am already married."
A FADING FLOWER.
Just she and I alone were there beneath
the stars so calm and bright.
I told her that to me her cheeks were
like twin lilies, pure and white;
But in the morning as I brushed my
powdered vest for half an hour
I realized the lilios must have been
some other kind of flour.
—[Chicago Evening Post.
A LEGAL OPINION.
Irate Visitor (in Attorney's office) —
What is your opinion of me, anyway?
Attorney—Professionally ?
Irate Visitor —Of course, sir.
Attorney—Well, you arc a liar and a
scoundrel; $25 please.—[New York
World.
Profit-Sharing.
Three years ago the Campbell's Creek
Coal Company, in the Kanawha Valley,
commenced the sharing of profits with
its men, and on the first occasion divided
something over SO,OOO. Last year the
amount was much less, because the
profits were smaller. The result this
year is shown in the announcement that
on September 20 the company divided
$4,500 among the men. The money is
given out in proportion to the amount of
wages the men earn, and the last distri
bution gave each man an average of
about S6O. Besides sharing tho profits
the company does a sort of insurance
business among the miners in a novel and
commendable manner. In that district
the miner is "docked" or forfeits a cer
tain amount of his wages when the coal
he turns out has over a fixed per cent
age of slate. The company mentioned
takes the dockage according to the gen
eral custom, but that amount, instead of
going to the company, is put into a fund
for tho benefit of the men. From this
fund the men are entitled to draw $4
per week when sick. On several occa
sions, when through numerous demands
this fund has become exhausted, the
firm replenished it temporarily. In an
other way this company and its employ
ees have moved together for the common
good. In that locality the public schools
are opon ouly about four months in the
year. To continue the schools for nine
months each year the miners pay each 20
cents per month into a private school
fund. The effect of this plan of sharing
profits, and the mutual good feeling be
tween the men and their employers is
pluiuly apparent. The men aio content
ed and steady; they havo improved mor
ally and physically.—[American Manu
facturer.
Zoological Gardens of tho World,
The greatest zoological garden in tho
world is that in London, being situated
in the very heart of the city, and a public
street running through it which divides
it into two sections. Walls are erected
along the street, and visitors go from
one section to another by means of a
tunnel passing under the street. The
grounds comprise about sixty acres,
and are well filled with buildings, ponds,
etc. There are real beaver ponds, aviaries,
bear pits, monkey housos—in short, n
place for everything in tho animal line.
This park was opened inlß2B, and during
the last five years the aanual number of
visitors has averaged about 700,000, while
in 1880 there were added to the collec
tion of animals 1,538.
The Berlin park is ranked by natural
ists next to the London, and the two in
Paris, if combined, would make one as
extensive as any in the world.
In the United States the Philadelphia
"Zoo" is the most extensive so far as build
ings and collections go, and the inclosuro
comprises thirty-three acres of Fnirmount
Park. The Cincinnati zoological park
embraces sixty-five acres of suburban
land and was opened in 1875. The Chicago
gardens are in the central part of the
city, and havo one of the finest herds of
bulfulo to he seen. In New York tho
collection of animals is kept in Central
Park. There are in all forty-eight
zoological gardens in tho world, six of
them in tho United States.
Spontaneous Combustion of Hay.
After a series of very careful experi
ments, Prof. Cohn, of Breslau, has found
that the heating of damp hay to a temp
erature sufficient to cause tho spontaneous
combustion of it is due to a fungus. He
first studied the lieat-generating action
of Aspergillus fumigatus, which has
the bad reputation of heating barley in
the course of germination and of render
ing it sterile. Through the effect of the
respiration of the little germ, that is to
say, through the combustion of the starch
and other hydrocarburets which the dios
tasic ferment convert) into maltrose and
dextrine, the temperature is raised by
about 40 deg. The heating of the germs
to more thnn 00 deg. occurs only through
the intervention of the Aspergillus,
which acts as a ferment. Under tlieso
conditions it reaches its greatest devel
opment and produces its maximum action,
la this state it rapidly burns the
hydrocarburets.—[La Petite Revue. ,
LASSOING A BEAR.
A COWBOY'S SINGULAR ADVEN
TURE.
Bruin was Fond of Fat Yearling
Cattle—An Unarmed Cowboy
Catclies the Monster With a Rope
—Dragged to Death.
The finest rope-swinger in all the
Southwest, says a Fort Davis (Texas)
letter to the Son Francisco Chronicle, is
Hud C'arraway of Reeves county, Tex.
It was my good fortune to he with a
round-up party of cowboys last week
who were out after stray steers, and
among the number was Bud Carraway,
the prince of lariat throwers. One
night while sitting around the camp fire
smoking and telling stories the subject
of bears came up.
"Tell us of the best true story you
know, Bud," said one of the boys, "and
don't be modest about it. Gire us a
yarn." "I'll do the best I can,"
answered Bud, "and what's more I'll not
stretch it a bit, but give you straight
facts." He filled the bowl of his pipe,
lit it from a live coal and settled back
for the story.
"Last fall, you know, I was working
for the Mill Iron Ranch Company on the
south folk of Red river. There were a
great many nice fat yearlings on the
range, and every day or two one would
be missing, but as he had our brand on
his hide we thought of course that he
would bo found at some one of the
round-ups. The round-ups came, steers
and cattle were gathered in, but only a
very few yearlings were among them.
After awhile the foreman set a watch by
staking out a calf on the prairie
over night, and next morning
we discovered bear tracks, and big ones,
too. Our boarder was in fact a big black
bear, who required a yearling at least
once in two days, and what was more, he
preferred to do his own slaughtering.
He was an old customer, for we had
heard of him before in some of tho ad
joining counties. He had scorned all at
tempts to shoot or trap him, and actually
fattened on lead, winked at pitfalls,
sneezed at traps, and cunningly turned
up his nose at poisoned meat.
"We did not know whut to do. The
fellow was cautious enough to keep out
of sight, and every attempt or expedi
tion against him failed until, at last, by
pure accident I managed to catch him
myself when I least expectod such a piece
of luck. One afternoon in September I
was out on the range horse hunting,
when, as I was passing near a thick
bunch of chaparral, I saw a monster black
bear jump out of the bushes, knock a
young heifer down with his powerful
paw and draw the carcass back into the
bushes again and out of sight. I could
searcely believe my eyes.
"Fortunately my mustang was a good
one, and would not stir or move until I
fave him the signul. I had no weapon;
was alone and miles from the home
ranch, and only my pocket-knife and a
trusty lariut with me. I rode around the
bushes two or three times, feeling sure
in case of danger that my mustang was
fleet and quick enough to keep me out of
trouble, but, to own the truth, I did
not know what on earth to
do. Unslinging my rope, I got
it ready anyhow to use should an oppor
tunity offer, determined to give him a
toss if he dared show his snout. Would
you believe he actually did that very
thing? Well, he did. Ho saw me, poked
his nose out to get a better smell, and
then shoved his whole head out, I sup
pose to get a better view. This was my
chance. Giving the noose a couple of
turns to settle the loop, I let fly, and
down it dropped snug over his head,
but before I could tighten the line, blame
my eyes if he didn't take his paw and
lift it clean off. Then he dashed back
into the brush and I was no better off
than before. I waited some time and was
about to go away when I heard a crash
ing and rustling some distance away.
Looking to see what it was, blamed if
the bear hudn't stolen a inarch on me and
was racing off across the prairie in tho
opposite direction."
"What a fool!" ejaculated one of his
listeners.
"Well, I should say ho was a fool.
You fellows -know that on the open
prairie, with no tree or stump or hole to
hide in, a big animal, bo he steer, u bear,
or anything else, has no show, and that
a rope is the best weapon on earth to
have. I left Nance go, and before muny
minutes was within reaching distance of
the black old sinner. Swinging the rope
again, I let her fly, and caught him the
first east right around the neck. He
couldn't get it off this time, for it was
range work with Nance and I, and she
never let a slack or kink get into the
line; so we had him fast.
"Now, you fellowsknow how to throw
a steer, so you can imagine I had no
trouble with the bear. I raced around
him until the lariat truilcd from the neck,
and when I had it about the height of his
knees I gave a short, quick jerk and
pulled his feet from under him. Down
he went like a cyclone, rolling over and
over in the dust. You never saw a more
surprised bear in all your life. Every
time ho rose up and started to run, I did
the same thing until at last ho got very
tired of the performance. The fun soon
came to an end. He got up for a last
run and started off like a steam engine. I
let him go and waited until he was doing
his level best, and then I gave him a good
one which nearly broke his neck. He
lay there stunned and quiet, and I could
see the breath had been knocked clean
out of the old rascal's carcass. Caution
ing Nance to hold taut, the same as for a
steer you are going to tie, I approached
carefully and with my jack-knife gave
him a dig in the throat which settled his
case for good. I went back to the ranch
and got a team and hauled him in.
When dressed ho weighed 740 pounds.
That's all."
The Fattest Girl of Her Age.
The fattest girl of her age ever known
lives now at Blairville, Peuu. Her name
is Delia Beck. She is the daughter of u
miner, is 10 years old, and weighs 450
pounds. She is one of eight children.
Her parents are both of ordinary size,
and none of her brothers or sisters show
signs of exceeding average limits in point
of physical development. One sister
reached the weight of 145 pounds at the
age of five years, hut died at that period.
Some of the measurements were as fol
lows: Sixty-one inches round the waist,
34 inches round the bust, 13 inches
round tho neck and 31 inches round the
fleshy part of the arm. Her height is
about 5 feet 4 inches. Her feet are not
long but are abnormally broad, so that it
is impossible to procure any ordinary pair
of women's shoes to fit her. Delia's chair
is a curious piece of furniture, specially
made for her, and a settee intended for
two people. Her bed is furnished with
extra supports. Delia was asked if she
experienced any difficulty in walking.
"No," she said, "but in going up stairs
I puff a little." Considering her enor
mous size she is wonderfully light and
active on her feet. She has had many
offers from exhibitors, all of which she
has hitherto refused.—[New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
A VENICE IN SIAM.
The Great City of Bangkok With
Canals for Streets.
It is no wonder that travelers have so
much to say about the capital city of
Siam, for of all strange cities it is tho
strangest. Covering an enormous amount
of ground, it stretches for eight miles on
both sides of the Meuam River and has a
population of from 500,000 to 600,000
people. So hard is it to take a censuii
that the government has not as yet taken
the number of its people since 1870, but
good authorities who have lived for years
in the city place the number approximate
ly as above. I
There is not a single street in all the
great city of Bangkok leading into the
country. No, nor even a trail that an
elephant could follow. In the city proper
are many good streets, however, and of
late years the natives have taken to driv
ing horses and ponies, and now almost
any afternoon one or more of the
numerous princes can be seen driving
about the city in stylish turnouts with a
half-dressed groom standing up behind.
In place of streets the Siamese have great
natural waterways and canals leading to
all parts of the kingdom.
The Mennni River, running through
the centre of the city, is the great busi
ness street and thoroughfare. On both
sides ore hundreds of stores and shops
where you can buy everything from a
needle to a steamboat. Leading into the
country, at right angles from the river,
are tho great canals of Bangkok—some
of them being over a hundred miles in
length. They lead everywhere, and upon
them is brought to market the great rice
crop of Siam, as well as the entire pro
duct of the land. Some of these canals
arc not more than ten feet wide, while
every few hundred feet smaller ones lead
through the bamboos and low-growing
banana trees to the homes and grounds
of the natives.
Many of the larger canals, however,
arc almost rivers in size, and the lurgest
steam launches tow as many as a dozen
grain boats fifty and sixty miles inland.
Bangkok being so near the sea, the tide
leaves these canal-boats high and dry at
least once a day; but, strauge as it may
seem, the tide here has away of acting
not i a accordance with almanac rules and
regulations, and sometimes thero is no
tide at all at Bangkok for the entire
twenty-four hours.
The people use the canal waters as
public bathing places also, but the na
tives do not now, as formerly, go into the
water naked, a late order of the king
compelling them to wear at least a small
garment. Along these canals are located
many of the great wats of the city,where
all day long hundreds of lazy, yellow
dressed Buddhist priests can be seen loaf
ing about, while near many of these
places of worship are sacred hogs wallow
ing in mire and filth, says a writer in tho
Kansas City Times. Wat Chang, one of
the great sights of Bangkok, is located
on the river bank, nearly opposite the
king's grounds.
It is an immense affair, towering nearly
100 feet into the air, and is surrounded
by spacious grounds, but all parts of the
main temple as well as the smaller ones
and the hundreds of stone images of
Buddha throughout the grounds are fall
ing to pieces, and in a few years many of
the now celebrated wats of Siam will bo
simply tumbled-down ruins. About all
the Siamese wats is a singular mixture of
dirt, filth and gold. Somehow in this
country one always goes with the other.
The King of Siam lives in a handsome
palace within a walled enclosure insido
the double city walls, and he lives and
enjoys life as much as any of the kings
of history. At the present time his
wives are said to number not fewer than
one hundred—his queen and second wife
being his half-sister. In fact the queens
of the kings of Siam are always his half
sisters, there being no one else in his
kingdom of sufficient rank to fill that
place.
New Theory of Hailstones,
It is a problem yet unsolved to account
for this suspension in the atmosphere of
hailstones, which frequently weigh over
an ounce. A recent theory, whicn seems
to carry some probability with it, sup
poses that in the heart of every hail
cloud thero is a whirlwind, or what is
usually but erroneously termed a ' 'torna
do." It is well known that such dis
turbances exert a prodigious lifting
power, raising heavy objects, such as
carts, house roofs and even trees, and
transplanting them to considerable dis
tances. Tho theory is that when a drop
of water in such a cloud is congealed it
is carried round iu the vortex and lifted
up, more moisture being condensed and
frozen upon it at each gyration, until at
last it is thrown out and falls. This
would account for the alternate layers,
but will not account for the formation of
crystals, a growth which usually requires
a considerable time.
Oysters in London,
In a recentinterestingarticle upon oys
tcrculture, tho marquis of Lome very
cogently asked why oysters cost (I or
*1 25 a dozen iu London while they can
be purchased for about half the price in
Paris ? The explanation, as Lord Lome
pointed out, is that our English oyster
beds produce only a fraction of the con
sumption, although our own shores,prop
erly prepared could produce oysters in
enormous quantities. Hitherto British
enterprise has not been directed toward
this remunerative industry, says St.
James' Budget, but has left it in tho
hands of a few fishermen and ancient
corporations on the Essex and Kentish
coasts, who lack both capital and scien
tific knowledge. How profitable oyster
breeding may become when well man
aged may be imagined from the fact that
the only outlay consists in preparing a
a stretch of suitable foreshore with tiles,
bricks, shells, etc., to provide a resting
place for the spat or baby oyster. It is
estimated that one oyster produces from
one to three million young, so that if
only a very small proportion be secured
the labor expended is most bountifully
repaid. The average wholesale price of
native oysters this year has been $5 per
100. Taking the value of tho product
of one tile at the lowest figure the result
would be (2.25, and the tiles being laid
one on the other in semblance of an open
wall, 30,000 tiles per acre is not an exag
gerated number. It wculd thus seem
that with capital and enterprise tho
national production of oysters would
largely increase, while tho price would
naturally fall.
Pineapple Culture in Florida.
The pineapple thrives in southern
Florida, and it is reported that its cul
tivation is being extended very rapidly,
and will soon become an important in
dustry, especially in the region known
as southeastern Florida. Where tho
climate and soil are both favorable tho
pineapple is said to bo very profitable.
There arc limited aieas in southern Cal
ifornia where the pineapple will thrive,
but we have no report of its extended
cultivation in that state. The plants
will not bear frosts, although a few cool
nights will not hurt them, provided they
do not freeze. —[New York Sun.