FOLLY AS IT FLIES.
A HARD blow—a hurricane.
A GOOD fit—a fit of laughter.
PASSING away time—handing over
your watch to a footpad.
WOMAN may be a conundrum, a puz
zle, but the world will never give her
up.
SHE —Clarence, I am afraid yon are a
black sheep. He -Yes, dear, that is
why I love ewe.
"THE bustle is a thing of the past,"
sayH a fashion exchange. It always
was a little behind.
THE Indiana couple who w ere married
by telephone must not be surprised if
they find their anticipated heaven a
liell-o.
MRS. DB MILLION —And you thought
I married you for love? What did you
take nie for? De Milton (mournfully)
—For better or worse.
LOUISA —Mamma, I'm quite disap
pointed in Robert. Mamma—Why,
dear ? Louise Why, when I said
"yes" he merely kissed my hand.
THERE is only only one letter in a
man's alphabet and that is "lonly one
in a girl s and that is "O," only one in
a married woman's and that is "U."
"I DON'T like your acquaintance.
Who is he?" "An acrobat." "He's too
fresh to suit me." "Acrobats are queer
people. Some are fresh and somer
sault. "
YOUNG Callow—l say, fellow, I'm iu
a great hurry. Give nie two pounds of
dog biscuit? Clarksou (formerly in
gents' furnishing goods)— Yes, sir; for
yourself, sir?
JUDGE— Can you give any reason
■why you can't pay your debts ? Delin
quent Debtor—l have nine reasons,
your Honor, a wife, a mother-in-law,
six children and an empty pocketbook.
A SOFT answer; Wife (reproachfully)—
You never kiss me now; (suspiciously)
—Why don't you? Husband—Because
I'm ashamed to, my love. You're get
ting to look too young for such non
sense.
PUBLISHER —Can I get credit here?
Banker—lnevergivc credit. Publisher
—Why, I remember you now. Y'ou
used to he the editor of the Angel
Choir. You never gave credit then,
either.
CHARLEY LOVKLOX (who sees a
chance to say something really bright)—
Weally, Miss Squelcher, you we mind
me of a Cowoner's juwy. Miss
Squelcher—Yes! Why, pray? Charley
Lovelox- Why, you sit on a body so,
you know.
DAINTILY expressed: Old Brer Jack
son Dat ar gal yoah Mose am koepin'
comp'nv vvif am mos' white; ain't she
Mrs. Johnson? Old Man Johnson—-
Why, yes; she am pooty light fo' a
a brunette!
"WHAT IB it, little girl?" said a Har
lem grocer to a iivo-year-old miss, as
lie leaned over the counter. Little
girl -Mamma sent me foralam)) chim
ney and she says she hopes it will be as
strong as the last butter you sent us.
PosirANO These high liats have
their uses. I sat behind one of them
last night in the theater and rathor en
joyed tho sensation. Do Bnggs—But I
understood that yon never saw the
Btage? Pompano—That was the en
joyable part. It was an amateur per
formance of "Hamlet."
COUNTED OUT.
1 thought that I had won her heart,
'lhat Bho was mine alone;
No more would rive In rouse my fears,
Henceforth her lovo I'd own.
For aho had asked in tender tones,
In which true love sighs were,
If I my latest photograph
Would kindly give to her.
Deceitful wretch 1 she gave it to
'ldie maid that cleans the halls,
But first she wrote upon the back :
"I'm out when this one calls.
Licking a Man Softly.
Two men met on Sixth street near
High, the other day, and both stopped
and looked bard at each other. Then
one said:
"Jim, I'm going to lick you!"
"When?"
"Right off -now!"
"I don't believe you can do it!"
"Then I'll die trying. It shall be a
fair fight."
"Very well.
Then one took out his false teeth and
laid them on tho fence, the other hung
his new hat and overcoat on a picket
and the first observed:
"Re careful of my left leg, Tom, I've
had a boil there."
"All right, and you look out for my
right G*r, as it is sore from neuralgia."
At this moment a policeman hap
pened along and warned them ugaiust
raising any row, and one said:
"All right, Jim—l'll lick you next
week!"
"I'll be there Tom! Good-byl"—
Detroit Free Press.
A Lute At'anta Young 'L.
"Papa," cried a little 7-year old, "3
want some money to get "
"Don't go any further," he interrupt
ed, throwing down a coin.
The child came slowly up to him,
after pocketing the money, and barely
touched his cheek with a kiss.
"Humph." ejaculated the parent,
"from the kiss you give I should judge
that you don't appreciate it verj
much."
She caught hold of his hands, and,
looking squarely iuto his eyes, solemnly
said:
"Do you expect a $lO kiss for fifty
centsV"— Atlanta Constitution.
THE worst fault that people have U
find with tho fellow who is always say
ing that be feels like committing sui
cide is that he doesn't go and do it.
A NORWEGIAN engineer has invented
a machine which can pack 1,000 boxes
of matches in a minute.
Don t Get Caught
This spring, ns you may have been before, with
your blooil lull of Impurities, your digestion Im
paired, appetite poor, kidneys and liver torpid, and
whole system liable to be prostrated by disease—but
get yourself Into good condition and ready for the
changing and warmer weather, by taking Hood's
SarsapariUa. It stands une jnalod for purifying the
blood, giving an appetite, and for a general spring
medicine. So sure to get
Hood's Sarsanarilla
"For Ave years I was si.-k every spring, but la?t
year began iu February to take Hood's SarsapariUa.
I used live bottio* and have uot seen a sick day
•luce."—O. w. SLOAN, .Mhton, Mass*
"My son was afflicted wit i the worst type of
scrofula, and on tho recommendation of my drug
gist I gave him Hood's Sarsaparllla. To-day lie la
sound and welt, notwithstanding it was sahl there
was not euougn me Uoi ie in Illinois to eifoct a cure."
_J. CHRISTIAN, HI ) His, ill.
Dizzy, i irdcl Foaling
•For a flrat-olass spring medicine my wife and I
think very highly of Hood's -iarsaparilla. It cured
my wlfo of sick headache and relieved ine of a
dhsisy, tired feeling."—J. if. FCABeg, supt. Granite
Ity. Co., CoucorJ, N. H.
Hood's Sarsanarilla
Bold by all druggists. six for $5. Prepared only
by 0.1. HOOD & CO., Lowell, Mass.
100 uoBB. uiie Dollar
LETTERS FROM THE CORNERS.
NECK OR NOTHIN' HALL, I
KILKENNY CORNERS, I
• FFLR. Editor: All the
day, the mia
/^E3®7^||lhV||^ 0 '' £b wus a tnlkin
tCv7f|l|WMnbout "teams" ail
"flys" an"fielder"an
"home streetch" an
like. I coodn't
we got there,
thay want a teem
in site, fur I looked, an I don't no to
this day why they wus all a-talkin
"bout this teem an that teem, do you
Mister Editur ?
Thay wus the boys from Rag Ally
agoiuo to play agin the boys frum Up
sturt street; an thay wus all thare,
rigged out in thare bran new unicorns,
an thay looked first rate.
The Rag Ally boys lied the fust play,
or innins, es thay call it, an one of 'em
took the bat an while he wus a waitin
fur the other feller to pitch the ball,
why the feller thet wus behind him
put a wire bird-cage over his face, then
the other feller throwed the ball, an
Rag Ally hit it a welt the fust thing
an sent it a flying clare off.
"AVhat a lievingly fly!" ses a gal a
standin clost by me; an I looked nil
aroun an I kno they want a fly no
whares neer.
I tell you, ef they want a lot o' peo
ple thare, an sum of 'cm dressed fit to
kill.
The widder an her bow found a
shady seot an set thare eatin penuts
an' candy. What wus a game o' ball
to them? Want thare soles a sailin
in to a sea o' bliss ? es the poiok ses.
Willam Henery wus that axcited he
woodn't let me half listen to what the
folks around me wus a savin. I jest
cot a part of it.
"An I jest tole her thet I'd see her
furder " ses one.
"Nor nothin I cood do wood "
ses a little womin.
"Make him get her a new bunnit,"
ses another.
"Laws, ses I, hain't you afeerd
he'l " an ole lady ses.
"Take it on the fly, skinny," ses a
boy.
Yes, an wood you believe it, she
got 3 bunnits in 17 years and him
only "
"Twenty-five cents a glass an ice
cold, cum "
"Away out West whare I wus you
cood "
"Do enny thing? Well, 1 shood
sav "
"Git thare, Eli," ses another boy.
"I do jist love " ses a purty
blunde.
"Takin medisin every hour to,
its "
"My own horse, ses he, and I liaint
afreed to bet " ses a tall man.
"My resete fur cookeys? Of course
you kin "
"Tell you what it is, Naber Clark
haint no "
"Spring chickens? Weill haint thet
menny now "
"I never expect to go thare agin
fur "
"0! what a beestly fluke thet was
An thet wus jest the way thay kep a
runnin on, an I never got to hear all
thet enny of em sed. It wus purvokin,
Mister Editur, fur jest es Id begin to
tsents what one sed sum one elts ud say
lumpthin.
"Haint this a bully good game, Hes
ter Ann?" ses Wm. Henery.
"I dont no nuthin about it," ses I.
"Hurrah fur ltag Ally I" ses he. a
i'umpin onto a bench an wavin his
lanana.
"Shet upl" ses a feller.
"Shet up yur own self," ses Willam
Henery, a hollern "Hurrah!" louder 'n
ever.
"Cum along with me. I'll pull ye fur
'sturbin the piece," ses tho man who
wus a hossifer in disgust.
I wus auful skeert. So no more at
present.
HESTER ANN SCOOPER.
GERMAN JOKES.
STRENGTHENING THE MEMORY.
A.—My memory is getting weaker ]
and weaker every day.
B. —I can give you a remedy.
"What is it?"
"Lend me fifty dollars."
A DAMAGED SWEALI-OFF.
Judge— Bpforo you are sworn I'd like
to a-k you if you have ever taken an
oath before ?
Witness—l swore off from tobacco
and whisky 011 the first of the year, but
it ought not to count.
A CHRONIC DEBTOR.
Collector (in a rage)— Sir, when nre
you going to pay mo what vou owe
mo?
Debtor is silent.
Collector—You even prefer to owo
me an answer to my question.
ANOTHER SLUR AT BALD HEADS.
Ho—l think it is anodtrago that the
ladies wear high hats in the theater.
"She—Yes, I must admit you men are
much more considerate.
"Of course we are."
"Some of you who sit in tho front
row are e\ en so considerate as to leave
your hair at home. You aro too good
for this world."
THEATRICAL NOTE.
Seliultz—Have you seen William
Tell?
Miller—No. I have not, and I am not
going to see it, either.
"Why not?"
"Because that's the piece in which
the apple is shot off the boy's head, and
the discharge of fire-arms on the stage
always makes me jump."
A MEAN TRICK ON A FRUGAL MAN.
Schmidt—l am puzzled what to buy
my uncle for a birthday present. He is
fearfully stingy, and no matter what 1
give lie lays it aside and never uses it.
Hufuagel—lf that's so you can get off
very cheap.
"How so?"
"Fill half a dozen bottles with wa
ter, and seal them up good, label them
'Old Gin,' or 'Old Cognac,' and he
will never be tho wiser."— Texas lift
ings.
lie Got It.
"Can you tell me?" he queried as
he entered the City Hall—"can you in
form me ?"
"What is it?"
"Upon my soul, but I have forgotten
what I wanted to inquire for! Well,
never mind."
He toiled slowly up two pairs of
stairß and was resting after his ascent,
when he suddenly slapped his leg aud
exclaimed:
"I've got it I I wontod to ask him
where the elevator was!" Detroit
Free Frees.
A WOMAN'S strange gait may not al
ways be caused by her gaiter.
Mr. MeSwut. as an Economizer.
"I never could Bee," briskly ob
served Mr. McSwat, as lie leaned a
new pane of glass 28x36 carefully
against the wall, laid the sash contain
ing the broken pane on the dining
room table, removed liis coat, and
otherwise cleared the decks for action,
"why any man should pay a glazier a
$2 bill for a job of this kind when he
can do it himself at a cost of less than
half that figure. Hand me that case
knife, Lobelia."
Mrs. McSwat complied with liis re
quest and he began to dig out the hard
putty and bits of broken glass still re
maing in the saßli.
"These glaziers," be continued, "ain't
satisfied with a moderate profit. They
want to hog the whole thing. This pane
of glass cost me 75 cents and these
three-cornered tin jiggers and this
lump of putty were thrown in. A glaz
ier could have bought tho outfit for 50
cents and then he'd have made $1.50
for about twenty minutes' work. Catch
me paying any such price! Lobelia,
take this putty aud work it into—ouch!"
Mr. McSwat's case-knife had slipped,
and his hand had collided violently with
a piece of broken glass.
"Billiger, you have cut yourself!"
exclaimed his wife.
"It's nothing, Lobelia," be said. "A
man mav expect a little scratch or two
when he's at work of this kind. This
dinged putty comes out awful hard.
Gol-lee for gosh all snakes! There's
another gash. Get me a rag, quick?
Don't stand there with your fingers in
your mouth. Do you want me to bleed
to death right here?"
"Don't work at it any more, Billiger,"
pleaded Mrs. McSwat." You'llcutyour
hands all to pieces."
"Who's doing this job?" roared Billi
ger, as he wrapped his thumb in the
handkerchief his wife had given him.
"Stand out of my way!"
For the next half-hour he pranced
about the table, digging out hardened
putty, prying out splinters of glass and
varying the monotony of the exercise
by occasional remarks of a paroxysmal
and incendiary nature.
At last, however, he had the sash
ready for tho reception of the glass.
"Lobelia," he called out, "is the
putty ready?"
"Of course it is," she replied. "I
worked it till it was nice and soft and
put it on the table where you could get
it when you—O, Billiger! You've
knocked it down and trampled it all
over my nice rug!"
"It'll wash out, Lobelia," said Mr.
McSwat, reassuringly. And he gath
ered up the putty and rolled it into a
lump again. "Now I'll put the glass in.
Anybody that can't put in a pane of
common window glass," he went on as
he lifted the pane and laid it down on
the sash, "no matter how big it is,
ought to be "
Crack!
"It's only a corner, Lobelia. It won't
show. I can fix all that so it will "
Crack!
"Blame the everlasting-dad-squiz
zled "
Crash!
Smash!
Jingle!
"Blank the whole billy-be-dash
blanked business!"
Mr. McSwat tumbled the remains of
his 28x36 pane of glass on the floor,
jumped up and down on them, and
howled, while Mrs. McSwat retired to
an upper room, locked the door, crawled
under the bed, and wept.
Mr. Billiger McSwat tho next day
paid a $5 hill to a glazier for doing the
job and told him in a voice of thunder
;to keep the change and be hanged to
him. — Chicago Tribune.
They Swapped Wives.
A swap that was something out of
the ordinary was made by two farmers
living near Sidney, Neb., a few days
ago, but the details have just been be
come public. J. H. Fox and I. Sobad
I were neighbors in Colton precinct.
Both were young married men and
1 Hehail had one child. The latter was
considered by the good people of Col
ton an exemplary you' g man. He
taught the district school, was super
intendent of the Sunday-school, an
oxhorter in the Universalist Church,
and, above all, a dyed-in-the-wool Spir
itualist. His wife was young and
pretty.
Fox was simply a farmer. He, too,
was the possessor of an attractive wife.
The two fnmiles became intimate, and
it developed in time that Mr. Scliad
and Mrs. Fox had becomo enamored
of each other, and of each other, and
that a similar state of affairs existed
between Mr. Fox and Mrs. Schad.
1 he four became acquainted with each
other's feelings, and finally the two
men struck a bargain and swapped
wives. Scliad bade bis wife an affec
tionate ndien. kissed his little one
good-by, loaded Mrs. Fox into a neigh
bor's wagon, and together they were
driven to Crook, a station on the Col
rado Division of the Union I'acilic, and
then took passage for Denver. Fox
and Mrs. Schad and the hitter's child
remained st Colton.— Philadelphia
North American.
The Fidelity or a Mongrel Cur to Its
Iliad Young Muster.
Wordsworth and Walter Scott have
honored in verse the fuithful dog who
guarded her master's corpse for three
i months after the unfortunate tourist
| had fallen down a precipice and lost
his life on Helvellyn. A story hardly
less affecting is related by Miss Cobbe
In "The Friend of Mau."
I "A poor, little, ragged Irish urchin,
the owner of a mongrel enr, and the
rider of a donkey, one day followed
along the highway a ear containing a
party of tourists. They naturally bade
him keep his distance and not raise the
I dust.
"The hoy continued to canter after tho
car as fast as his donkey would carry
him, his dog harking at liis heels. Sud
denly the donkey stumbled and fell,
and pitched tho hoy over his head into
. the road. The boy gave a cry, but the
j tourists only laughed aud proceeded on
their way, never dreaming of stopping
to see tho result of the fall.
"No 0110 el,o passed along for many
hours, aud the first who did so fo mil
the hoy lying dead by the road- ids
I and the dog a <1 donkov standing
I watching beside him. The lit!le corpse
was carried to the father's cabin aud
buried speedily,
j "A week afterward some 0110 thought
I of the dog and wondered what had be
come of it. It was remembered that it
had followed tho humble funeral of its
master to the ohapel yard, and there it
was sought and found.
"Tne poor beast had scratched away
the newly stirred earth to the coflin—
probably at no groat de >th —and there
it lav 011 the coflin, unable to get nearei
to its dead friend."
I MANY a man Bays he would die for s
woman just because he thinks he knowt
she wouldn't want him to.
PUBLIC LANDS.
There are Vast Tracts Still Open
for Settlement.
It has often been predicted that, by
the present year, nearly all the public
lands which it is practicable for individ
uals to " locate " and improve under the ;
land laws would have been occupied, and
that the number of entries of govern
ment lands would have begun to de
cline.
But there is as yet no sign that any
such highwater mark of settlement has
been reached. Indeed, the report of the
United States Land Office for 1889 shows
that the last fiscal year was marked by
the largest number of patents of land for
agricultural purposes ever made.
During the three years 1880, 1887 and
1888, the putents issued for agricultural
lands had averaged about thirty thousand
a year. But for the fiscal year ending
with June, 1889, more than seventy thou
sand patents were issued.
Though many of these patents, which
are practically the Government's deed of
the land to the settler, were upon entries
or settlements made a few years before,
the new entries have about kept pace
with the patents.
Still "Uncle Sam's farm" is not ex
hausted. Up to last June, only about
one-lialf of the area of the two Dakotas
had been entered for land claims. Un- :
doubtcdly it is the better half which has |
been taken, but that which remains in- !
eludes much excellent land.
In several of the Western States and
Territories there are hundreds of settlers
who are unable to obtain the patents or
deeds for their land. They are merely
"squatters," or legally unauthorized oc
cupants; but the Government tolerates
them, and their occupancy, if it is per
sisted in, will in nearly all cases be
equivalent to a title.
In Idaho, which is likely soon to be a
State, only a little more than one-seventh
of the area of the Territory has been
surveyed. The settler who locates upon
unsurveyed lands is of course only a
squatter, no matter how valuable his im
provements may be, since the Govern
ment cannot give him a patent to his
land.
Within a few years, many millions of ,
acres of good land are likely to be made
available for settlement through the pur
chase by the government of vast tracts .
not needed by the Indian tribes, and j
through tin? forfeiture of land grants by
railroads which have not complied with !
the conditions under which their lands I
were given.
The nature of the claim of certain j
tribes of Indians to vast tracts of land on I
the plains and prairies is profoundly af- j
fccted by the disappearance of game
from these regions. When the Indian I
tribes lived by the chase, tlicy required
vast tracts to range over in pursuit of
their game. Now, throughout most of
the Western country, the game has in
great part disappeared. The buffalo,
which was the plains Indians'chief source
of subsistence, is now completely gone,
and all the fur-bearing animals are prac- I
tically exterminated. The Indians,there- j
fore, must either be supported by the
government or must maintain themselves
by farming or grazing. In either case j
they have no further use for the great
tracts which were formerly their hunting- !
grounds, and in the nature of things, this 1
land must come into the hands of those
who will make use of it.
In the meantime, land grants to rail- :
roads, amounting to more than twenty- !
one million acres, have been suspended,
and are awaiting the legislation by Con
gress which is necessary for their for
feiture, or cancellation. This land is
nearly all good, and its area is about
equal to that of the State of Maine. !
Even though the land which is now
available for settlement in homesteads or
farms, and which does not appear to be
in immediate danger of giving out, must
some time be exhausted, there will still
remain a vast area, which, by a general
system of irrigation, can be made to sup
port a larger population than the United
States as yet contains.—[Youth's Com
panion.
Japs and Sicilians in the Metropolis.
In seeing a friend off the other day, I
whose vessel was moored at a pier on the
Last River, I had occasion to pass through
I the lower part of James street, and was
| amazed that the former American and
I Irish population was being forced out by
Japanese, Sicilians and other odd races.
Two places struck me as being very in
teresting. One was a Japanese boarding
place, where there seemed to be twenty
members of that race. One half of them
seemed to be married, the wives belong
ing to all kinds of people, from oblique
eyed and black-haired Japs to golden
haired and blue-oved German women.
They .were all quiet and orderly, and ,
seemed to be well liked by their neigh
bors.
The other place was a Sicilian restau
rant and boarding-house in the same
block. Though of the poorest and home
liest kind, it was scrupulously neat and
clean. The proprietor, who was cook,
waiter nud cashier in one, went about 1
the place in his shirt-sleeves, with the
bosom thrown back, showing a gorgeous j
undershirt beneath. Around his waist
he wore a brilliant sash of some sort of
silk. A baby sprawled in a soap box. j
half filled with rags and shavings, which j
a small boy dragged slowly with a piece
of string from one end of the room to !
the other. A few customers sat around
the place drinking coffee at two cents a j
cup and eating macaroni at seven cents a
plate. From the ceiling hung dried j
I strings of scarlet peppers, white garlic, j
! and darkened Bologna sausages. It was ■
altogether a very fair copy of such estab- i
lishmcnts in Palermo and Naples,
j I was speaking of these Italians to In
' spector A. S. Williams the same day and
I he said:
"These 'Guineas,' as the street boys
! are apt to style them, are a much abused
race. While there are bad men among j
them, as among all foreign races, the per- j
cent age is no greater than with any other
nationality. They arc temperate, cheer
ful and economical. While jealous, they
are affectionate and domestic to a high
degree. They take kindly to our ways,
and their children are apt and clever
pupils in oh. schools." -[New York;
Star. ;
The Salmon is a Great Home Body.
In resrard to the wonderful migratory I
instinct of salmon, Lord Dunmore says !
that he caught on his property in the Isle
of Harris, in the Hebrides, somo twenty ;
or thirty salmon. These he marked and I
carried alive in his yacht to the opposite ,
side of the island, where they were all I
turned into a lake. In the course of the j
same se son in which they were trans
ported it was ascertained that some of
these same fish had come back again, all j
the way home, a circuit of forty miles at j
least through the pathless waters of the |
great Atlantic, passing several rivers in
their journey, up which they might have
gone had they not preferred their native .
stream. —[Scientific American.
I
THE Opigthocoinus, a bird of the Isl
and of Mara jo, in the Amazon, is four
footed when young. Its wing has two
fingers, each with a claw which drops
off after a time, and these are used in
scrambling about. As the wings of
birds are supposed to have been evolved
from prehensile hands, this is, as Mr.
F. E. lleddard states, "a curious in
stance of a partial retention of- an ear
lier condition."
Ox a recent trial in W ales to test ttie
validity of a will it was proved that in
1869 the testator became impaired in
intellect to sueli an extent that he went
to the postoffice witli a postage stamp
on Iris forehead and requested to be
sent to a place he mentioned
A Woman Two Hundred tear. Old.
A ease is on icoord of a woman who lived to
this advanced age. but it is scarcely necessary
to state that it was in "the olden time." Now
a-days too many women do not live half their
allotted years. The mortality due to function
al derangements in the weaker sex in simply
frightful, to say nothing of the indescribable
sutTering which makes life scarcely worth the
living to so many women. Hut for these suf
ferers there is a certain relief. Dr. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription will positively euro leu
corrhea, painful menstruation, prolapsus, pain
in the ovaries, weak baek; in short, all those
eowplaints to which so many woman are mar
tyrs. It is the only {pmrantffd cure, see guar
antee on bottle-wvapper.
Cleanse the liver, stomach, bowels and whole
system by using Dr. Pierce's Pellets.
Miss Florence Finnstone, of England
wrote 18,000 letters with her own hand and
i raised in tliut way*4.soo tounyofl a church
• debt.
The Ladle* IHUfktml.
The pleasant effect and the perfect safety
with which ladies may use the liquid fruit
laxative. Syrup of Figs, under all conditions
make It their favorite remedy. It is pleasing
to the eye and to tho taste, gentle, yet effectual
in actingon the kidneys, liver and bowels
, It Is eusy enough to be prudent,
I When nothing tempts you to stray—
i j When without or within no voice of sin
, i Is luring your soul away.
But it's only a negative virtue
| Until it is tried by fire,
1 And the life that is worth the honor of earth
In the one that resists desire.
—[Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
bwT '<7 Gr f¥ [n $ Co
l a., to anv one In U. S, or Uau&da, post, paid
upon receipt of 2o Dobbins-s Electrical Wp
wrappers, bee list of uovela on circulars aiotin.l
eaoli bar. Ibu soap for Ml. by all grocers.
J Much of the elmrit.v that, begins at home is
too feeble to go u-visiting.
| If alllic'ol with sore eyes ti-e Dr. Is no
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggist's sell 250.
' per Lottie.
| Many a man who is a good shot in this
j world hopes to iniß* fire in the next.
A Single Trial Will Convince Yon That
Dr. Tobias's Venetian Liniment Is the
! GREATEST PAIN DESTROYER IN THE WORLD.
I Don't be persuaded that something else is
just as good, for Dr. Tohia&'s Venetian Lini
ment bus been established over forty years.
Every bottle warranted to give perfect satis
faction or tho money refunded, yet n bottle
has nevor been returned.
Does that n<>t speak for itself, and proclaim
it tho pain destroyer of tho world?
If your druggist or store-keeper does not
keep our goods, send to us and we will for* ard
promptly.
| Depot 10 Murray St., New York.
! It has been observed in the churches that
short sermons always seem to give tho best
satisfaction
| No stranger should visit tho city without
?m king " Tansill's Punch' sc. Cigar.
I Temptation, like death, knocks at. the
palaces ol the rich as well as at the hovels of
I the poor.
STATE or Omo, CITY or TOLEDO,)
LUCAS COUNTY, J
FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath that lie is the
senior partner of the firm of F. J. CHENEY <fc
Co., doing busine a in t e City of Toledo,
County and State aforesaid, nnd that said llrm
will pay ho sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS
for each and overy case of Catarrh that cannot
be oured by the use of HALL'S CATARRH CURE.
FRANK .1 CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in inv
presence, this Oth day of i-ereinber, A. I)., 1880.
I 4 ) A. W. (JLEABON.
■j SEAL >• Nutary Public.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken interna ly and
acts directly upon tho blood and mucous sur
faces o the system. Send for testimonials,
free.
F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 7-c.
l'ridc is wise when it goeth before a fall.
If it waited until a.terwiml it could not go
at all.
FITS stopped free by I>K. KLINE'S GRI •> ,
NERVE KESTOUEK. NO Fits after lirst day',
use. Marvelous cures. Treatise and triu
bottle free. Dr. Kline, 931^ Arch St,, Pbila., l J a
The world doe-n't care how you got beat;
anybody can do that. It wants to know
how you got there.
Ask Your Friend* About It.
Your distressing cough can be cured. Wo
know it because Kemp's Balsam lias cured so
many coughs and colds in this community.
Ask some friend who has used it what he
thinks of Kemp's Halsaiu. There is no medi
cine so pure, none so effective. Large bottles
50e. and $1 at all druggists'. Sample bottle
free.
Tho first condition ol lnimnn goodness i
something to love, the second something to
reverence. UI7
OH
CURES PERMANENTLY
RHEUMATISM
Suffered lor Nearly 30 Years.
187 N. Chester *t., Baltimore, Md.
For nearly S) years J suffered with rlieuma
-1 tisminurin and shoulder; could it lilt my
arm. Less than two bottles of fct.. .mobs OH
j cured me. W. H. HEESON.
Of Many Years' Standing.
Gadsden, Crockett Co., Tenu.
| My case was rheumatism • f many yours'
j Standing, contra ted during the war; tried
most everything without relief. St. Jacobs
| Oil finally cured me. Fit ED. ROUGE.
AT DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS.
THE CHARLES A. VOOFLGR CO.. Baltimore. Md.
THE CATARRH
"■sSvßffll
childreb£^&7l
SUFFERING FROM IFR' 1>
COLOinHEADW*/
SNUFFLES
fP7 ff F H. 1 1 AY- FEVE P*
A particle is apuli d into ea *ii u,n;rd and i- na • ea.
le. Prion finet-<. at druggists; by imii. registered
Sects. ELY BEOS., Mi Warren Street. New York. '
To Restore Tone
and Strength
to the System when
weakened by
La Grippe
or any other
Illness,
Ayer'sSarsaparilla
is positively
unequalled.
Get the BEST.
Prepared by
Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co.,
' Lowell. Mass.
PAT'S DILEMMA.
Shure, docttaor, this pain isjlst awful!
Be jabbers! I'm all ola sweat I
I hope you will thry to relave it,
ror belave me, I can't lay nor ietl
Well, Pat, T will try and relieve you, [duced),
(with a smile which Pat's speech hud in-
And if you can't "lay" nor ,r set" either,
Perhaps you had better just roost!
For Liver Disease, Biliousness, Indiges
tion, Scrofula or any blood-taint or dis
order, the "Golden Medical Discovery" is
the only remedy possessed of such superior !
curative properties as to wurrant its manu- i
facturers in selling it, through druggists, j
under a positive una inn tee that it will
either benefit or cure in every case, or !
money paid for it will be refunded.
It's a legitimate medicine, not a bever
age; contains no alcohol to inebriate, no ;
syrup or sugar to derange digestion. As j
wonderful in its curative results as in its j
peculiar composition. It stands alone,—
incomparable ! Therefore, don't l>e fooled j
into accepting something instead, said to be j
"just, as good" because the substitute pays
the dealer a better profit.
The equal of the "Golden Medical Discov- I
ery " has not been invented : if it ever is, it !
won't lie sold for a less price than what the i
"Discovery" costs, viz: £I.OO, or six bottles ,
for $.>.00. It's a concentrated vegetable ex- j
# \ CfewOrt OFFERED for an incurable rase cf
A mmmum . i ■ ■■ i ■■■ i Catarrh in the Head by
figs the proprietors of DR. BAGE S CATARRH REMEDY.
r *?"•■• t'ATAKRH. Headache, obstruction of nose, discbarges
rtv W&Z&h idling into throat, sometimes profuse, watery, and acrid, at others, thick,
|y A tenacious, mucouß, purulent, bloody and putrid ; eyes weak, ringing in ears,
i f A odeafness, difficulty of clearing throat, expectoration of otfensivo matter;
.'.y breath offensive; smell and taste impaired, and general debility. Only a
" few of these symptoms likely to be present at once. Thousands of cases
i>. J*- i.-i id consumption, and end in the grave.
In i'd. soothing, antiseptic, cleansing, nnd healing- properties. Dr. Sage's Remedy
cures the worst eases. Only 50 cents. Sold by druggists everywhere.
piso s Uh.fl KDV LOli CATAiUUI-Beit. Easiest to use.
fffw A. cheapest. Relief is immediate. A cure is certain. For oßjsf
Cold in the Head it has no oquai. gggl
It is au Ointment, of which a small particle
l#jHj nostrils. Price, 50<-. Sold by druggists or sent by mail.
Address, K. T. HAZKLTJNK, Warren. Pa. HP**
PATENTS W'fflf.'s: &3f 'srv.
SPRING BEOS.
If you want employment semi at onro for circulars,
with directions how toget a splendid Spring Bed for a
little work or cash. II Ki -t 'asiorlaml, N. Y
BEST IN TIIE WORLD v H L H t| k
HV' Qet the Genuine. Sold Eve rywhero.
f v i
i Children |
1 always |
Enjoy It
scorn
! EMULSION
| of pure Cod Liver Oil with Hypo- j
| phosphites of Lime and Soda Is *
| almost as palatable as milk. •
( Children enjoy It rather than r
! otherwise. A MARVELLOUS FLESH
PRODUCER It is Indeed, and the )
little lads and lassies who take cold j
easily, may be fortified against a 1
cough that might prove serious, by }
taking Scott v s Emulsion after their ;
| meals during the winter season. j
| Beware of substitutions and imitations, j
OENSBON
Prosecutes Claims.
Late Principal Exftm'iicr U S Pension Bureau.
o.a\. Mi.. Is §
lie! 8^
W. L. DOUGLAS
QOffeiC AN 152 SHOE
*9*3 CJ rf W f& for GENTLEIVIEN
.*IUI Utlier Advertised Specialties Are ilio
llenl in llie World.
None genuine unless name nnd price are stamped !
<>n bottom. SOLD KVKHYWHF.UK. IT your dealer I
will nut supply you, send i>ostal for iustriictlons how •
10 buy dlriK't from factory wltliout extra charge. !
\\. 1.. IM>I (JIiAS, llriiekton. Hums.
Ass BOOK [H FOR $1,03. lIOW
ApaLi.
fi- Horn
If you are thinking of bmldli/ 1 •' "" y ° u ?"'fS l
Job ytlm new hook. Pi.HI •■VtJhmidJ'rnVaied
11 ee 1 ire, or every man , n'Vi. a
by Pal lis t, Pallisi r.v tlx-w<• 1 knm* n a hin ••t a.
bnlhi iJVSth K -fd- : 'inb-re-bd 'that can air. id to be
witiiontit. it hu | * tial work aiilf\ o 1 •• >
it. The. tip-it, cheapest uiul moat l'o|>n■ ir
iflimea on Bulidunr. v early f;'"r IMUU,V'iVl MUU, V'iV' l , ; v .V
A sf> hook io -i • -an I nti le.but weliutcd' o nii.i • i to
make it meet tlio |.nil ir dcmniid, to suit the times,
■o thot item ho a ily loach, d t>y n.l. ...
TNil' book coutdns H4 pages 1 Ml inches In sl/e, j
and <• msl-tB of lucre 9x12 plate pages, uiving j>.aus.
elevations, pcrspeMive vi- WK. dewriptlous.
Qon-. a t Mftico-t of construe -ion, no gueHH \y orL, i
andlnstruetions II xv to lliiilil To< ott-<geM, \iillas,
iout>lo II iiiseß, Brlek l loek Houses, auitahlo for
ity Kuhurhs, town ami country. IIOUBCH lor the farm
aim workluiriuen'ft homes for til h etlona of the
country, and roHtingfr'un f:i()0to?fl.60e: also Barns.
Stables, school House, Tow n llall. Cliurehes anu
O her public buildlin.'s, togother v. itn sneeiti.-ations,
f win ot contract, and a 1 <r o amount of Informal ion
ontho erection of buildings, aeb-ctlo-i of ade, <u
nloynient of Architects. It is wrth fft to any ona,
but wo will send it in paner Cover by mud, postpaid, j
on re i ijit of st.oot bound in cloth t-2.n0.
AItCIHTECT CO.. IVa idewater Ht., New
Tbid Pater.^jJ
I Bl M' p t, for the pain you complain of,
i roosting alone might not do,
I ould "T Dr. Pierce's
I uolnen Medical Discovery, too.
I tract. Dose small and pleasant to the taste.
i Equally good for adults or children,
j To invigorate the liver, sharpen the appe
tite. improve digestion, and buiid up both
I strength and flesh, wheu reduced lielow tbt
' health, it ranks pre-eminent.
I Has the largest sale of any medicine in the
world, without a single exception!
For all itching, scaly, festering, burning,
tormenting Skin and Scalp diseases, it is
j especially efficacious .Salt-rheum, Tetter,
Psoriasis, Erysipelas, Eczema, and all hu
j mors, from a common pimple or eruption to
1 the worst Scrofula, vanish under the use of
I this world-famed remedy, if continued for
a reasonable length of time. Scrofulous
, Sores and Swellings ure cured, and the
| most tainted systems am, by its somewhat
1 persistent use. cleansed from the most viru
| lent blood-poisons and completely renovated
I and built up anew. WORLD'S DISPENSARY
I MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Proprietors, Buf
| fnlo, N. Y.
PENSIONS si si
OI JOSEPtI 12. IHNTKH. \TTOKNEV.
WASH |\(ITN. . G.
nnilllA HA HIT. Only Certain and
lIHIIIM RATY( I'llKln the World Dr.
vl IWIfl j. a.. STLI'HENH. Lebanon. 0
pensions v'l"h,':
f JONES
HE
THE FREIGHT.
HORTk IERN PAGIFIC.
LOW PL.. W . i.HIT I.''" -S# *
EE Governmf L .''OFT,
miI.I,KINS )!•' AL ios
Dakota, Mouta nu. Idaho, Wahhlugu...
CL'UN CFTQ pnbllcutlons with maps ILEKCRITO.
DKLLLKI run LIEM AKricultural.Grar.lng ami Tim*
berLandsnow open to settler Sent free. Addreai
CHAS. B. LAMBORH. MK;
c:N: RLIMSS
YJIPJ OTTC*TAT.oac,
Ftkika
TERTIFI.
Spikl fur largo Illasrr:iT< <l catalogue.
FTHE FUL IS* \o° ( . "**l
LUBURGVCHAm^^pwf^^T
J||^^^^RNN_URE. (
Vi
WO roUil aftbo ' BrLR
pai'L fur on d liv ry. IT ;I ft ,>R—A ' " AIU#
PEML Bt.nnp F< r CITA- \. JLF f\ Y/FCTOUIL OK.
UVIVIIF
LL'UIkU CO.. 1-15 N. 'th Si* riiiii. . ■*
GR ATEFUL-COMFOR TIN a.
BREAKFAST.
'•By A thoroup'h kn OF tlio naturul laws
whlci governtli • operai "'IS "F digestion and nutri
tion. and by aearefu. appll.- I I N of the line proper
ties of well-selected Ooe U, Mr. L'ipps has provided
,iur breakfast tables WPLI a ilelieatolv flavoured bev
erage which IN.IT .(- E u Mmy heavy doctors' HI '*-
It is by the .judicious us - of such I licles of diet
thatacon-iitutlou may HE GRA-luully nullt up until
strong enough to reslnt every tendency to disease.
Hundreds OR sub lo muladiea nr.- floating around ut
ready to attack where-- er tliar- i.n A weak point
WE may escape MANE :I L; 'al .TI <•> keci in-., our
•elves well fijrtllled with pure bhio-.I and A properly
nourished frame."—"Cii'lL Ser rfee
Made simply with boiling WAI- R '''* l ,;. '.
OJly In hulf-p >uud tin . by iirover--. I.ICII" U tnus.
JAIHEFIL KL'L'S IV I'D.. M I DBIV I hemlst#
They havs BEEN tried I" I ever fifty ye ars, and
are to-D#' t'.O r: .. t popular ,U UM\
YEAR fathers and mctheis NR.- d them. TUov are
ths Safest, PUR CAT, and R'NICLY for Liver
and Stomaoh Diseabca evci* compoiiuded.
For Pale by all I>r.: -:Nt IV* MCTS.PER lie**
8 boxes Fr 5 cts ; OR- R I T ,P , .{AGO free, on
recftlptof prlc DR • . PH|||\
AFTER All, OTIIIS FAIL
CUABDLT nil. 1. nil 11. >oi-lli lillreuru
Htrect, I'liiludelphia. TWTI.TY >e os' experieuce
; lu special disc ISES cure* the E orsleases of Nervous
J Complaliiis, lfloo I POIM-IIUU.', Blotches, Lruptlous,
, l'lles, Catarrh, Llccrs, Mores, Impaired Memory,
Desp ndoiiev, Dliniu-ss OT Vision, Lung, I. lvor,
btomaeli. Kidney IMghi's LUease,; confidential.
| UT CALL OR write for {UE-LION list and Ueol
specific FAR the certain ears
TO 6 DATI.'W of tbhtdlceuse.
UCI to . D, H. INO RA HAM. M. D,,
JRFTW Birioture. W Amsterdam. N. Y.
ur donw hvth We have sold Big G f°*
w . .. pmny years, and It hat
j V^n me heat of satli-
UNA Cincinnati fret lon. _ „ ,
Ohio. D. R.DYCHF.FTCO..
UA " >, YI ( hieftgo, IB
i Bold by Jjriitfld*