IMPATIENCE.
BT OZIAS Mll'SmilEa.
•I've left the bright, bright valley where flowers
are blooming. , , ,
No flowers a relieve but the thistle and thorn,
My days are darkness and cyclones aud
tempes K ,
I 'wish I was dead or had nevor been born."
"While thus sang a lady when noariug the shad-
Wbich fall after twilight In life's rugged way,
A voice at her elbow reminded her gently.
" 'Tis true as a prophet: Each dog "has its
day."
For there by her side on a rustic seat sitting
Her lover of youth had returuod bronzed aud
old,
His form yet oroct, his mustacho yot beauty.
His pockets well tilled with bright silver aud
gold.
fcioy sat in the garden that bright balmy morn
ing.
Bemath tho buds, blossoms, and leaves of a
tree;
With sweet gentle zephyrs of spring for their
breathing,
Much happier far than young lovers could bo
•Come." said tho old truant, "lot us gather
thistles,
And make a grand bouquet of briars and
thorns.
Coino out in tho darkness, tho oyclones and
tempests,
Come into tho wilds of the winds and tho
storms."
They went from tho shadow, hut found only
sunshine;
Death's nearest approach then seemed farthest ;
Ho searched for tho thistles; she found only
flowers; I
He gave up his task and received her bouquot,
NO. 11.
I'm sitting in doubt, 'mid tho trembling of pas
sion,
And quenching my fears 'mid tho flames of !
IOVO'B fire, j
For Itobin insists we must bo in tho fashion
Ami wait yet a year, notwithstanding desire. :
Obi could I hut quicken his flame to my notion, I
Aud stir up tho ombers that smolder and nine, '
I'd busk in tno heat that would give my nope .
motion, j
And All his soul full of that burning in miuo.
I kuow Robin loves mo with his understanding,
Aud seems to appreciate fervor and fear ;
But that is not whatiny love's life iB demanding,
It wants u, love unafraid to approach near.
It wants a lovo that will draw 1110 to its folding
And cover my soul with its comforting bliss;
It wants a lovo that, as mo in its arms holding,
Will weleomomy lovo with a lover's warm kiss.
To-day, as wo eat on the sofa conversing,
My soul was enraptured with hopiugs tho
But not a thing happened, ho went on rohcarsing
Tho samo old, old story ho'd told mo bofore.
Oh I how my heart ached for a drink at its lei-
Oh! how my lips parched I how my bosom did
swell I
How trembled my limbs 1 how I louged without
measure I
And how, spite of all these, disappointment a9
well.
Oh! Robin, come love mo. Tho doe on tho
mountain
Is nevor so frco as thou mayest bo here.
Come stay 'mid the billows, corno tusto at the
fountain.
"Twill give thee sweet pleasure "If fliou wilt
draw near.
And ah i Robin dearest t let me thee entwining
Burn into thy soul tlio sweet passion of love.
Or revel mo in its sweet comfort subliming,
And joy in its glory which comes from above.
CIiKJAUO, 111.
CAPT. M'CU LLOCH' S LEAP
I
An Incident of Border Life at I
Wheeling, West Virginia.
-*"> - WESTY-FIYB
iSiv log cabins
comprised the hanv
♦f let of Wheeling, W
'-''AraSfiSß Va,, in the yea)
livflS Itwasonthi
far wos ' orn horde]
of colonial civiliza
i"K " extreme})
J.v isolated position.
suffered severely |
from the attacks of the savages. To I
protect themselves the settlers had !
built Fort Henry, which was erected
on the right bank of tke Ohio, a short
distance above Wheeling Creole. The
entire fighting force of tlio village, in
eluding the garrison of the fort, con
sisted of but forty-two men. Among
that number, however, were many
whose deeds of powess and skill with
the riflo had made tliem terrors to tlio
Indians. In the latter part of Sep
tember tho settlement was attacked by
four hundred warriors aud the villag
ers were compelled to flee to tho fort
for protection. Driven to desperation
by tlio sight of their homes being de
stroyed by the savages, they made an
ill-advised sortie, in which they wero
all but overcome, and only sixteen men
lived to return to the fort and defend
it and tho helpless women and chil
dren within its walls against more than
four hundred savage redskins.
The history of those days within the
fort is a record of deeds of daring and
personal heroism, one of which is un
paralleled in ancient or modern times;
a feat beside which General Putnam's
performance at "Horse's Neck" sinks
into insignificance, and which, had it
occurred at a later day and been
performed by a man of'more prom
inent position in life, would have fur
nished a theino for many a pen and
pencil.
In their distress the garrison sent
messengers to the nearest settlements.
Tho response was immediate, and four
teen men from Cross Creek succeeded
in fighting their way through the sur
rounding savages and triumphantly
entering the fort. Forty mounted
men, under Captain Samuel McCul-,
loch, followed this first detachmont to
the relief of the fort. Every prepara-j
tiou was made by their friends insidej
to a sist them in their attempt to 1
enter. The gates wero opened, and a
sortie was ovgani/.-d to cover their ad
vance. Alter ade pevate hand-to-hand
conflict, in which manv of the redskins
thuxr in fnrninw
their way through without losing
single num. McCullooh, however was
less fortunate than the rest of his
company. Toward him tlio savages
cherished a bitter hatred. A fear
less and daring woodsman, a dead
shot, and a cunning scout, his
name was known throughout the entire
frontier, both to whites and Indians,
and he had been one of the most prom
inent figures iu the numerous bloody
fights in which tho two races had con
tended. Among the savages surround
ing the fort there were few who had
not lost either a friend or a relative by
his unerring riflo. As he dashed for- j
in the rear of his troops, encour-
iging them by voico an<l example, his
shouts of defiance were answered by
(•ells of rage from his dusky foes, whe
strained every nerve to capture him iu
order that they might wipe out the
bloody score by horrible tortures at the
stake. A body of redskins blocking
his way, he wheeled his horse and rode
at the utmost speed toward Wheeling
Hill. Again his course was stopped
by a crowd of his enemies, who sprang
up in front and began to close in upon
him. As quick as light he turned
again, only to find escape cut off by o
third bnmi of warriors. The only way
now remaining open to him was toward
the brow of a steep cliff, 150 feet in
height, at the bottom of which
flowed Wheeling Creek. No at
tempt had been made to shoot
hint, although he was in easy range
of the fire of his pursuers, and his
quick mind appreciated what this ,
meant. They had devoted him to a
lingering death by all the refinements
of savage cruelty of which their hellish
ingenuity was capable. His chance was
a most desperate one, and as he mo
mentarily reined in his horse and gazed
upon the rapidly narrowing circle of
his foes their yells rang in his ears as
they saw him at bay, and, as they i
thought, completely within their pow- j
er. They stood gazing at him in won
der as he struck his heels against the ;
sides of his horse and dashed toward 1
the precipice, which tliey had thought j
would prevent his escape in that direc
tion. It was a chance of life against a
certainty of death in its most awful
form at the hands of his enemies, and
his decision was quickly made. Turn- j
ilig in the saddle ho was encouraged by i
a cheer from his friends in the fort, and
then shaking his rifle toward his rap
idly advancing- foe, ho grasped the
trusty weapon in his riglit hand, gath
ered his reins in his left, and urged his
horse toward the brink of the chasm |
that seemed likely to be his grave.
As ho approached the edge the sav
ages stopped spell-bound at the con
templation of his action. Bracing
himself in his saddle and again dash
ing his heels against the sides of hiß
noble beast, which seemed animated
by his master's spirit, they made the
fearful leap outward. Down, down
they plunged, without obstacle or im
pediment, fully fifty feet; then the
horse's feet struck the smooth shelving
rock, and the remaining distance was
slid and scrambled over until thev
reached the bottom alive, and without
serious hurt. Pushing li is horse into
the stream he was soon half-way across,
j and by the time the savages had
reached tlio edge of the cliff and were
peering over, expecting to see the
I mangled remains of horse and rider at
i its base, lio had reached the opposite
| shore, and, with a shout of defiance,
! had plunged into tho woods aud was
! out of their range.
j Tho numerous additions to the gar- '
I rison of tho fort and tho lioiielessness !
of overcoming the defenders while in- j
spired by such an action as they had
just witnessed, disheartened tlio In- j
dians, and, after first putting the
torch to the remaining property of tho !
settlers, they beat a hasty retreat tlio i
morning after the event just narrated.
His Daughter Worked Harder.
A gaunt, haggard-looking man,
whoso business keeps liim rushing from
, the opening until the close of every
work day, w as sympathized with a few
days ago by a friend.
"I tell you, old man," said tlio friend,
"you work too hard. Why don't you
take things easy ? You've got money
enough to let things wag their own
way now."
"We are a hard-working family," was
the reply, "and when I get homo I
shall lind tho whole lot of us just as
tired as I am, and nobody in tho liouso
feeling bright except the servants.
My daughter used to be rosy and fresh
looking until she began going into so
ciety, and how she ever stands it now
is more than 1 can toll. I don't know a
man down town that works as hard as
she does, and she keeps pegging away
at it when I'm sleeping."
"What does she do, for heaven's
sake V"
"Well, I don't know everything she
does, because I haven't reached that
point of interest in her mode of enjoy
ing herself to keep notes. She's in so
ciety. Don't you understand that?
Well, I don't either, but that explana
tion seems to be all that is necessary
from lier when I advise her to let up
and tako a rest. I suppose she's got
an end to keep up, and she's struggling
hard to keep it elevated, I tell you.
Yesterday she was up at 8 o'clock, be
cause she had to go out shopping. She
came in at luncheon pretty well fagged
out. Then she had a dozen calls to
make, and wlion she came in to dinner
she looked so poorly I felt tired for her.
There was a reception somewhere at
night, and just before I retired a dude
came around and carried her off to it.
She camo in along toward midnight,
but this didn't prevent her from get
ting up this morning at 8 o'clock again,
j So far, she belongs to a literary club
| that meets on Tuesday, a Dorcas circle
that meetb on Wednesday, a debating
club that meets on Thursday, a danc- ,
ing class that meets on Friday, and a
missionary club tliat meets on Satur
day. Then her nights aro taken up
"with a bowling club, a progressive
euchre club, a theater club, receptions,
balls, parties, and the aforementioned
dude. Sandwiched between all these
aro innumerable pocial calls, luncheons,
and such things. Sundays are roaring
days with her, too. She is a teacher in
a Sunday school, and she never misses
evening service. Of course she has a
good many other things to look after,
but I can't recollect what they are just
now. I lead a lazy life as compared
with the life she leads. Being in busi
ness isn't half as hard as being in so
ciety."
! IT certainly will bo necessary to
• look into the opera glass trust.
EVOLUTION OF A SHOE.
CHANGES THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE
IN THIRTY CENTURIES.
They Were Used Originally as Instrument*
of Torture and to Degrade the Wearer -
Events Thai Led Up to Crispin's Being
Made a Patron Saint for Martyrdom to
UU Calling.
x' '-ty T would be as dif
fc. jPTfi " H ficult to fix tho
liljSKp JP 3 worn by mm KS to
fix the date of his
existence. All that ,
iPjjOTrf —kno.*n in regard
to the former is that
N /y VI * n KOmo the most
ancient records al
lusious to foot cov
\J eringfl occur. These
tell tlint sandals and
shoes were made by tho Egvpi ans and
the inhabitants of other Eastern coun
tries from the leaves of the papyrus and
rawhides over .'{,ooo years ago; hut
whether foot clothing was first made, from
vegetable or animal substances must re
&A WirkH.©nj Lc^
main a matter of conjecturo. Tho earli
est efforts of foot clothiers were, in all
probability, confined to protecting tho
soles, and consisted of sole-guards and
fastening appliances. For those linen,
rushes, broom, flax, wood, hark of trees,
hides of animals, and even metals were
employed.
From the Groek and liomau classics it
is learned that boot, shoe, and sandal
making was practiced as an art at a very
early period, and that differently fash-
I ioned footgear was prescribed by legal
| enactments to ho worn for tho easy dis-
I tinguishment of both rank and profes
sion.
Plautus iu his "Bac chides" introduces
a rich man who wore shoos with soles of
gold, and Seneca records that Julius
Ciosar wore shoes formed of the same
precious metal. Iu Domitian's reign the
stroets of ltomo were so crowded with
shoemakers and their stalls as to necessi
tate the passing of an edict for their re
moval. In Home tho shoes worn by the
patrician ordor wero made to reach higher
up the leg than those worn by the plebe
ians, while the boots of the common peo
ple were fashioned of wood, and slaves
nre known to have gone barefooted. It is
impossible to name the variety of boots,
shoeß, aud sandals worn by the different
classofl of Greeks nud Boinaus; not only
wero classos distinguished by their foot
gear, but even the divisions of classes.
Every grade of military aud civil life was
known by tho mode in which tho foot was
clothed. Writing of Ascension week in
Venice, Evelyn tells how at its great fair
ho saw noblemen stalking with their
ladies on choppinos. " 'Tie ridiculous,"
he writes, "to see how these ladies crawl
in and out of their gondolas by reason
of their choppines. And what dwarfs
they appear when they nre takon down
from their wooden scaffolds!"
It is possible thut tlio Romans first sot
the exampio of using boots and shoes as
instruments of torture r.nd dograda* ion.
The Romans used a shoo of iron, ns the
Christians know to their cost. Tho
instrument known as "the boot" is de
scribed ns being made of a slip of parch
ment. This was placed on the leg wet,
and bv its steady yet violent contraction
caused intolerable paiu to its wearer. A
boot into which wedges wero driven was
employed for a like end.
The brothers Crispin and Crispinian,
two shoemakers of Rome, on adopting
tho Christian faith were expelled from tho
city. They wandered into Franco, preach
ing aud working by turns in tho several
towns through which they passed till they
arrived at Soissons, where they suffered
martyrdom on Oct. 25, 308. These broth
ers, in accordance with an old-world
Catholic custom, became tho patron saints
of shoemakers, and on each succeeding
anniversary of thoir martyrdom it is still
a practice in many countries for shoe
makers to pay tribute to thoir memories.
"With reg-rd to tho mode in which this
was done in England an old rhymoster
wrote:
"On tho 26tli of October
Keldom a sou tor's sober."
"The shoos worn by the Belgic Britons,"
says Meyrick, "were made of raw cow
hide." Such shoos aro known to huvo
I afl\ \ A
4 viSI
if; ■ y y
worn tn, rkcTime ■
oT Jffl*
been worn by the Irish down to tho time
of Edwnrd 111., and by the Sco'ch, with
cert ain variations, to a much later date.
Charles VII. of France wore coats with
long tails to hide his legs, that wero tho
reverse of shapely. Henry Plantageuot,
Duko of Anjou* to hido a largo and un
sightly excrcsocnce on one of his feet,
wore shoes with excessively long points.
Henry VIII. is said, though there is
pretty good proof that extremely broad
boots wore worn beforo his time, to have
occrtßiono.l the introduction of shoes of
disproportionate breadth in order to ob
tain ease and comfort for feet that wore
misshapen. In all these instances, the
unsightly and ridiculous forms becamo so
fashionable on I so outrageous that
sumptuary laws had to be pas ed to re
strict their use, or, rather, their j ropor
lions. Fines and other puishnents wero
imposed for wo iring hoots with toes
two inches in length, aud at anothef
period for wearing shoes with toes above
six inches in breadth. Tho great Cardinal
Wolsoy is said to have worn shoes of
gold. The probability is that gold em
broidery or leather stamped in gold is
what ho roftlly wore. It is rolft od that a
courier named Robert, in tho third Ed
ward's time, wore, the toes of bis boots
so long that he had to stuff them
them with tow and curl them up like a
ram's horn, from which thoy obtained tho
na:no cornadu. The naiuo tning, it is said,
was practiced as eaily as liufus, and they
wero before Edward's time worn in Cra
cow.
Logal enactmonts put thom down for a
time, but they sprang into oxistence once
more, and a writor of the ueriod says: "A
fashion wo nave lately taken up is to wear
our forked shoes almost as long again as
our feet, not a littlo to the hindrance of
the action of the loot, and not only so,
but 1 hey prove an impediment to reveren
tial devotion, for our boots and shoes are
so mounted that we can hardly kneel in
God's house."
Shoemnkiug was practiced in monastic
institutions, excepting those bolonging to
monks denominateu "barefooted, " fiom a
very early date, and the existence of the
practice appears to have given offense to
Bichard, the first abbot of St. Alban's
Abbey, who complained of the monks and
canons associating with shoemakers and
tanners.
In Edward Vl.'s reign, and long after,
courtiers wore boots with very long
tops that could bo pulled over the knee
and half up the thigh whon wanted. The
boots tilted the leg like a stocking, and
closely resembled the buskin.
The choppine was introduced into En
gland in the sixtoouth century, but it never
reached the proportions that it did in
Venice and lioino. t-hakspearo, in a sal
utation to a lady, writes: "What, my
young mistress, by'r lady, your ladyship
is nearer heaven than when I saw you
last by the altitude of a choppine."
Many of the shoos of this period close
ly resemble the shoes now worn, aud tho
modern fashion of ornamenting shoes
with bows over tho instep is evidently a
copy of tho fashion then in vogue. Shioes
of buff leather with slashes in their up
pers were very much worn iu the reign of
the first James, when high boots again
came into fashion. These wore clumsily
formed and were allowed to slouch down
over the calv.is aud ankles of their wear
ers, liko untied stockings. It was prob
ably from these boots that wrinkled legs
took their rise. About this time a lady
is said to have admired "the good wrin
kles of a gnllaut's boots." These high
slouching boots were worn by pedestrians
as well as by riders.
Apart from tho gold lace and silver
thread with which "shooties" wero edged
at this period tho shoes worn did not en
tnil a great expense to the wearers.
Dramatists of tho same reign and of that
of Charles I. ma:le frequent mention of
corked shoes. The boots of tho Crom
wellian era wore mostly of buff' Spanish
leather. They wero plain to ugliness,
and were armed with a square piece of
leather in front to keep tho pressure of
the stirrup from tho instep. During tho
existence of tho Commonwenth, and for
some time >ftor, the tops of tho boots
wero of enormous width. The shoes dur
ing the reign of Charles 11. and James
11. were distinguished by high lieels and
lougisli toes, tapering toward their points,
but cut square at the ends, the uppers of
which not only covered the instep, but
extended some distance over the shins of
their wearers.
Buckles, it is said, were first used in
the reign of William 111., but the brass
of ltobert Attelath at Lynn, who died in
1:176, is pictured with shoos with buckles.
Tho costliness of many of tho buckles so
worn is pb.ced beyond doubt from the
fact that they were ofton fashioned of
tho most precious metals and studded
with brilliants. William himself wore
high jack boots, scarcely diff'oring in form
from and having tho same belongings by
way of instop-guardß as those of his
predecessor. They were cut as ugly as
can possibly be imagined.
Ladies' shoes hail heels. It was
quite common to bridge tho arch with a
leathern clog. Tho high-cut quarter
shoe was worn by men during the reign
of George I. and George 11.
liuckled shoos lasted down to the bo
giuuing of tho present century. Thev
were speedily succeedod by shoes fastened
with strings. In the reign of George
HI. close-fitting top boots, tho legs of
which wore out from grained leather,
were very commonly worn. Tho upper
portion was cut more to resemble tho
form of the leg, and it was furnished
with a turnover or a top, as it was after
ward called. High boots so cut wore
found to be difficult to got on and off,
anil in the process of time tlio height of
leg was lowered. In many of these low
orod boots tho turnover reached down to
tho ankle. It was during this reign that
tho Ilessian came into fashion—perhaps
tho handsomest boot over worn. This
boot was a Germm importa l ion; but
boots similarly cut are known to have been
worn in Bohemia as o irly as 1700. This
was followed by the Wellington.
In tbo reign of George IV. ladies wore
boots laced up the front.
Tho Blucher, which oamo into fashion
in the early potion of tho present cen
tury, continued iu great favor down to a
vory recent date, and even yet it is not
entirely displaced. The introduction of
elastic within tho memory of readers of
moderate ago did much to discountenance
the Blucher boot.
A Fresh, Gory Arm.
Writes an old-timer: "The night
Abraham Lincoln was assassinated T
witnessed a curious incident, which I
shall never forget. I was one of a
party of young men playing billiards
about a squaro from Ford's Theater,
where Lincoln was shot. Tho fatal
shot had not more than died away in
the reverberations in tlio theater than
word flew like wildfire along the street
that Lincoln was assassinated. A
young medical student who know our
party happened to bo returning homo
from the dissecting room when lie
heard the news. He was carrying the
forearm of a man, anil had it wrapped
in a newspaper. When ho heard the
awful news lie threw away the news
paper and, swinging the ghastly
human bono above his head, rushed
into our billiard 100111 and shouted in
an excited manner: 'Lincoln is kill
ed !' We thought he was insane, and
it was Homo time before we could ho
made to believe the news. All of us,
together with tho medical student,
joined tho surging mass of humanity
that collected around the theater. An
hour after, when tho excitement had
cooled down somowliat and we wero
walking away, one of our party asked
tlio medical studont what he was car
rying in his hand. It was the human
bono. Tho bleeding, ghastly thing
was taken from a 'stiff' that night,
and he had clung to it during all the
excitement in the crowd."
A BUSINESS woman: Jones (to a
former sweetheart) —So you are going
to throw yourself away 011 old JimsonV.
She—Throw myself away! I guess
you don't know that he has a million
and a bad case of heart disease. Call
that throwing myself away? That's
what I call getting fancy prices.
THE place to see sea serpents is
when you aro "half seas over."
RACY CHAPTER ON JAGS.
SWELLED HEADS THAT MAY BE AC
QUIRED IN MANY WAYS.
Means of Getting Them Are Only Limited
by tli© Combinations to Ho Muda in Mix
ing Drinks—Tlio Straight Whisky Jug Is
at the Itottom of tlio Lathler and the
Champagne Jag at tlio Top.
CCORDING to
AFIk Webster, a jag is a
i-FcriyS load; there
fore one who has a
ing carnes a small
t/ mi loud. That is, if 3on
i go strictly by the
dictionary's defini
tion. llut modern
iz©d jhRB are of
many kinds; somo
V IIS'T 1110 e 'Bhty, nU( I ft H
w/ are expensive. The
> meaning is so com
preliensivo that a
score or more of words at.d phrases in
use twelve months ago have lapsed into
innocuous desuetude. Now, no one says
"Brown was loaded to-night," or "Brown
got caught in a blizzard," or "Brown was
full," or "Brown was leery," or "Brown
was swamped."
"Brown had a jog last night" is the
modern expression which you can qualify
with any expressive adjective. "A cold
jag" is good form, a "mixed jag" is in
common use, and a "f. o. j.," meaning
"lino old jag," is the very latest," but
AFTER HIS FIRST JAO,
everybody has caught 011. The expres
sion is not elegant, but it has a moaning,
and has probably come to stay. "Jagged"
and "jagging" will como 011 apace, and
then somebody will add a few pages to
the dictionary.
Thero is no prevailing style of jag for
the very simple reason that no class of
society can run a corner on it
The champ:igno jag is the happiest of
all jags, because it is the most sociable.
Who ever hoard of a man evolving a
champaene jag without the assistance of
one or 111010 friends? Mean men use
straight whisky in a game of solitaire,
and their jag is as uninteresting as the
subjects are miserable and unhappy. But
the champagne jag, provided the wine be
THE CHAMPAGNE JAG.
A1 and tho fitomaoh be not disordorod,
calls forth all I hat is social in one's na
ture. No torpid livershould over attempt
tho chnmpagne jag, for the sake of tho
fino bovorngf spoiled. But when gentlo
uien anil, mayhap, ladies, throw dull
caro away to listen to tho popping of
corks, tho least harmful and most exhilar
ating of jngs is tho result. Its happiest
effects aro soon in tho early morning. If
0110 can sing his soul pours forth in mel
ody; if ono can dance tho heols bespoak
his joyous condition. If neither accom
plishment is vouchsafed the touguo loos
ens at both onds anil a happy, harmless
loquacity reveals tho jag. It is under
Tnr 1' 1 N'KS,
the influence of a champagne jag that man
forgets his sorrows and sometimes his
wifo. He calls upon everthing in reach
to contribute to liis enjoyment, and the
greatest sufferer is the pocket-book. Tho
cost of a champaguo jag, if the jag is
rightly celebrated, is never known until
the bills all come in.
No two jags aro alike, no matter if
they aro acquired in the same way
The straight-whisky jag is tho jag of
sorrows. It has 110 redeeming features
anil tho man who indulges in ono should
bo banged. Tho artist could not ilo jus
tice to the straight-whisky jug. It has
two pints in its stomach and a pint in its
pocket, and it goos behind a house and
drinks all by itself. It rolls from ono
side of the street to tho other, and it
yells like a* Comanche uatil an officer
takes it to tho station. Then it gets
sick, oh, so sick, and its head hurts, and
tho police judge depletes its pockolbook.
Nobody pities it anil nobody should.
Even tho bootblack shies stones at the
atiiainbt-whiskv iao. The nlain-whisky
fag is at the bottom of tho ladder and
tho champagne jag at tho top.
But the young man! Tho new young
man who goes out with a friend is tho
happiest of all those jngged. 110 is
proud of hiß jag, and long boforo he has
any excuse for feeling hilarious ho gets
gay. And ho drinks a sherry wiuo here,
and a port wine there, and "sweet wine,
and sour wino, and he gets gayer and
gayer. Such a jag! He finally orders
champagne, for ho has iust received his
mourns salary. He rests agntnst tbe
bar, and invites everybody to come up
aud drink wine with him. Ho is veiy
siok the next day. Tho new young man
with a jag is a rara avis, and the newer
he is tho more inclined ho is to talk of
his jag.
The jag acquired by too frequent pota
tious of hot drinks is a Bad. sad lag. Tho
WHISKY STAIOHT.
hot-drinks Jag is never remembered witn
enthusiasm. Sad, stupid, and sea-siok,
the man with a hot-drinks jag is to be
pitied.
A Horse's Memory.
"Say, friend, you are on my horse,"
said one gentleman to another as he
reined his horse before tho door.
"Your horse! Oh, no; why, I bought
this horse two years ago."
"You did?" answered the other;
"well, I lost my horse—it was stolen—
just two years ago."
The conversation took place undei
the far-spreading oaks of an old-time
plan tilt ion homo. A planter was sur
prised to see his horse return home
after two years, and ridden by a gentle
man who evidently had bought tho
horse in good faith. After some con
versation tHe old owner of tho horse,
with much earnestness, said: " Well,
sir, if you will dismount, unsaddle the
horse, and he don't go to the fouce,
tako the bars down, walk to tho well,
and if he don't find water in the bucket
let it down the well, aud then walk off
to his old stable, I will give up, and
that horse isn't mine!" "At your word;
the horse is yours if he does all that,"
cried the visitor, and, leaping from the
horse, unsaddled it. What was his
astonishment when the horse went
straight to the fence, letdown the bars,
crossed over, went to tbe well, and,
finding no water, let the bucket down,
and tlion, ns though he had left home
but yesterday, walked to the old sta
ble. The animal remembered the
trick, and the owner recovered his
horse. There are those living now who
can attest to tho truth of this story,
though it happened years ago. —St.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
Asleep in a Churchyard.
An old man who sleeps by tho road
side yonder, and upon whose tomb are
I the familiar linos beginning, "Bemem-
I ber me as you pass by," spent the
greater portion of the last ten years of
! his life by his wife's grave. He came
j in the early morning, and after remov-
I ing any microscopic weed that might
have showed itself since the previous
evening, would light his pipe aud sol
emnly contemplate the stones in his
vicinity. He went away regularly to
his meals, and as regularly took his
afternoon nap on tho grass by the
graveside.
Shortly before his last visit to tho
cherished spot he requested mo to de
cipher for him the dates upon several
j of tho gravestones, and we conversed
, about many whom wo had known in
life aud who had passed away. I re
marked that the churchyard was a very
pretty place, and his faec lighted up
j as he rejoined: "Ah, mister, 1 always
thought I should like to be buried here,
for," looking around, "you see there's
| such a splendid view from here." This
J was uttered in good faith, aud the old
j man seomed convinced that neither
coffin lid nor churchyard clods would
obstruct his view. Perhaps they don't.
In a few brief weeks he came to his
favorito haunts to stay. "Poor old
William," the flowers upon your gravo
have run wild long ago, and no one
seems to remember you as they pass by.
—Chambers' Jouruat.
Her Resolution-.
In looking over a woman's list of
good resolutions for the new year, we
| fail to find the following:
1. Never to stop a horse-car on a
curve or on an inclination.
I 2. Always to signify to the driver or
conductor in some way savo by an up
lifted eyebrow that she wants the ear
to stop.
3. Never to get into deep conversa-
I tion with a friend, aud forgetting her
| street till she is a block farther, blame
. tho conductor for not stopping more
j quickly.
j 4. Never to lay her wet umbrella
down on the silk-goods countor in n
j store.
5. To carry the same umbrella up
j and down and not in and out.
0. To buy more than two postage
j stamps at a time.
1 7. To mend her old clothes beforo
i she gives them to the poor,
j 8. To refrain from joining any more
j committees.
9. To refrain from telling every one
! she meets what her grippe symptoms
were aud what she did for them.
10. To refrain from writing 1889 any
farther than into March, 1890.—Bos
ton Saturday Evening Gazette.
Stamps He Didn't Have.
He was a stamp fiend, young and
precocious. The plain American stamp
had no interest for him. He was mak
ing a collection of foreign ones, and so
when they sent him down to the post
oilico for a packngo ho did not pay
much attention, but brought it homo
nnd handed it over and skipped out to
play tag. Next day they showed him
a new sister who had arrived. He
looked at her with some curiosity.
"Say, where did silo come from?"
"Oh, from heaven."
"From heaven! Was that the pack
age I brought from the postoiifice yes
terday, and I never knowed anything
about it?"
"Y'es."
"Golly 1 why didn't you save mo the
stamps ?"— San Francisco Chronicle.
THFIRE'S nothing like fame, and even
the children recognize it, as is illus
trated in this dialogue: Bob—My
dad's a 'squire and gets his name in
tho paper every day. Tom (contempt
uously)— That's nothin'. My dad took
Jink's liver pills and got his picter in
tho papers.
THE ENGLISH SOVEREIGN.
A I'leasunt View of Queen Victoria.
i" morn "
s w ers her letters
transacts business.
is fond of the open
r air, and if tlie weather
JL be favorable often has
'JI her papers taken into a
tent or summer-house
upon the lawn, which commands an
extensive and most lovely view of
Loclrnagar, its surrounding mountains,
and the Valley of the Dee.
After this comes a walk or a drive in
a pony carriage, and tlieu luncheon, at
which no one is ever present except
members of the royal family.
During the afternoon the Queen
takes a long drive, often extending to
over thirty miles and always iu an
open carriage. She dines late, never
before 8:30 a. m. An hour spent in
the drawing-room talking with the
guests who may have been invited, fin
ishes the day, and the Queen retires to
rest.
No question of state is ever decided
finally until her Majesty has been con
sulted, and she is such a sensible and
clever woman that she has often put
her Ministers right and settled a diffi
cult point, and generally for the best.
The Queen is faithful to her old
friends and thoughtful for everybody
with whom she comes in contact, re
membering the smallest details about
them, their families, and their occupa
tions, and giving evidence of this at
most unexpected moments. A ciroum
stance which happened to mo justifies
strongly the truth of this, hour years
ago I was singing at the Koyal Opera
at Berlin, and was not even aware that
the Queen knew of my engagement
there. I, soon after my debut, was at
a large dinner party at the English
Embassy, and sitting next to me was
one of the gentlemen of the Crown
Princess' household. During dinner
he put into my hand a telegram, telling
me to read it. This was from tlio
Queen to her daughter (now the Em
press Frederick), recommending me to
her and desiring her to do all she could
for me. Needless to say that after
this 1 was so excited that I could eat
no dinner, and I insisted on keeping
the telegram, one of my preoious
souvenirs.
Her Majesty is fond of musio and is
a good musician.
The Queen herself looks after the
welfare of all her tenants and servants,
and if any one of them is sick she is the
first one to pay them a visit and take
them little comforts.
During her stay in Scotland she takes
a pleasure during her drives iu stop
piug at various cottages to ask after
the welfare of the inmates. When so
occupied the Queen is as kind and sim
ple as any ordinary lady could be.
A Senatorial Episode.
If the police will please look the
other way a moment we will slyly slip
in the following communication sent to
us by a youmorist, whoappoars to havo
been marvelously inspired by the ma
jestic scene that lay before him as he
sat in the Senate gallery the other
day. He entitles his prose epic "A
Senatorial Episode." It canters along
thus:
Sitting in the press gallery of the
Senate recently I saw a Moody Senator
Beck to the (hay Butler, who seemed
to understand the signal, for he prompt
ly proceeded to Call the Stewart, who
Hastily procured for the aforesaid Sen
ator a Berry and a Plumb. Very soon
thereafter ho was seen to clasp both
hands over his Vest, from which it was
evident he was suffering great Payne.
Thereupon a Sawyer suggested that
the best remedy was a little Bato taken
out of a black bottle, which was prompt
ly administered, and in a short time the
patient was as Hale asa country Squire
dozing in his Pugh during the Sunday
morning service.
"By George," said he, "that little
Bato was worth a king's Bansom. Now,
when I get the Barbour to givo me a
nice shave, and take a stroll on the
grass Piatt and down through the Pad
dock to the Quay, I will feel as happy
as the bank T'ellor who has escaped to
Canada with his pockets full of boodle.
Then when I get to ray quarters and
Frye any fish caught in the Quay over
a good Coke fire, I will bo ready to go
to bed and bid Farwell to earthly
cares."
Now, ho who cannot r,ee the point of
this story should procure a tallow-dip
from tiro Chandler, by tho light of
which he may bo able to Pierce the
darkness that envelops His under
standing.—Wanking ton Post.
About Necklaces.
Necklaces in tho reign of Charles I.
were made of 'amber set in gold.
Pharaoh put a gold chain about
Joseph's neck as a mark of his author
ity in Egypt.
Among the Tartars of the time of
Genghis Khan tho necklace was often
made of human teeth.
The Southern negroes constantly wear
bead necklaces, looking upon them as
genuine charms.
In the reign of Henry VIII. anyone
who had not £2OO per year income
could not wear a necklace.
One of tho most valuable and cov
eted possessions of the Western Indian
is the necklace of grizzly bear's claws.
The Puritans abolished necklaces, as
they abolished everything they laid
their hands on which savored of orna
ment.
Thousands of people place necklaces
of coral beads around tho necks of
babies, with the belief that they will
assist the children in teething.
When the Saxon dynasty was over
thrown by the Normans all persons be
low a certain rank were forbidden to
wear necklaces under heavy penalty.
In South America the natives wear
nocklaoes of a peculiarly marked seed,
which belongs to a plant growing only
n the mountains along the snow line.
—Minneapolis Tribune.
That Wooden-Headed Young Man.
"I take it for granted, Miss Laura,"
said young Dr. Smiilglcy, "that you
condemn, as all sensible young women
do, the unwholesome and barbarous
practice of tight lacing?"
"On the contrary, Mr. Snudgeley,"
returned Miss Laura, with a wistful,
yearing look in her glorious dark eye,
"I think a compression of the waist to
a rcosonable extent not only harmless
but at times positively exhilarating."
And that dense, stupid, wooden
headed youth sat there for an hour and
argued with the young lady on the
evils of tight laoing.— Chicago Tvib
une.