TALL FISHING STORIES.
AS TOLD AT A MEETING OF THE DEN
VER FISH CLUII.
Some Historical Fuels from Sketch Rooks
Describing Experiences in the Forest-
Grappling for Salmon Trout on the Fly
—Tackling a Grizzly Hear.
that the Hen9on
ill ie . vear w hieh is
iM. [ (N&. I uuirkod by long evoii
i ri, bigs has arrived, the
Hnvttl! Denver Fish Club, a
Bptiy (lpj |vy,\K| very exclusive orgaii-
Zftiion, has resumed
\\~~\ "/iH its usual weeklv raeet-
- Lftßt ui " ht sa . va
the Neits, the Secre
"■ (&>. tary was called to the
yfegß platform to give the
lirst experience.
"Well, gentlemen,"
Cy. ho began, "I am quite
unprepared for the
occasion, and if you could have waited
till the next meeting I would have pre
pared a story worth your hearing. How
ever, I will do the best I can, and give
you a simple little incident which oc
curred la-t Juno. I was fishing in a
stream near Ouray for mountain trout,
and had been there ton days, fish
ing every day. It was delightful
weather, and * I spent each dy
on the stroam, taking my lunch with
me from the ranch. At one turn in
the stream thero is a cliff about eighty
feet high, and at tho base of the cliff is a
deep pool. A smaller strenm fell over
this cliff into the pool, and every few
minutes a dark object would come head
long over tho cliff dashing with this
smaller stream of water into the darkness
of the pool. Those were trout, aud in a
few seconds they would renppoar above
the surface of the pool and nseeud in the
air five or six feet and then fall back
again, look a little tired and very much
surprised and then sink below the sur
face to rest. I had been fishing with bait,
but could not get a bite and finally deter
mined to change my tactics. I made a
smnll raft, about six fe< t square, and
paddled it over to tho foot of tho fall,
and as tho trout came up out of the pool
(after coming down the full) with the re
bound I caught us many as I wanted
with mv hands, some of themtyeigliing
as much as three pounds." w
"That was not sportsmanlike. What
kin 1 of fishing would you call that?"
asked tho President indignantly. "Well,
GRAPPLING FOR SALMON.
I should cnll it catching them 011 the fly."
And the story wont down on the min
utes. "You can tell your story now,
Frank," suggested the President, as soon
as order bad been restored. Frank is one
of tho younger members, and his tale was
as follow s:
"Some years ago I was in British Co
lumbia at a Chinook cam]) on one of tho
rivers there. Tho Chinooks are a tribe
of Indians there who live by hunting and
fishing, and so plentiful is tho supply of
fish and game that they do not have to
work very hard. They are clean Indians
—for Indians—and i had a pleasant visit
of several weeks among them. In tho
rivers there, when the salmon nre run
ning, it is really an indisputable fact that
the water rises eight or ten foot in hoight
to make room for tho salmon to ascond
tho river, and when they are returning
down stream after spawning they push a
solid wall of w tor in front of them. I
know th s is true, because I have seen it
m\self. To catch those salmon, many of
them woighing thirty to forty pounds, all
TROUT ON THE FLY.
one had to do was to throw a grappling
hook into tho river anywhere and pull it
in to shore with a salmon or two hooked.
Thoro was no need of any bait or anything
else. It used to bo a nuisance Bometimos
these fish were so thick in tho stream that
we could not uso the canoe till nighttime,
when the salmon would be asleep and
still. Two or three feet of water would be
running over them like over a dam. We
had all tho salmon wo wanted to eat and
more, too."
"I have heard," said the Vice President,
"that the Chinooks eat tho salmon raw."
f "That is not true," said Frank; "all our
salmon were boil9d in the rivtr."
"How could you boil them in the
river?"
"Boil them? Why, the river was teem
ing (steaming) wi'h them."
Oh!" and the '■tory was duly recorded.
The President had fallen asleep, so the
Becretarv called on one of the oldest
members to contribute something of an
interesting nature.
"I do not know, friends," ho began,
"th it 1 have anything of an interesting
nature to communicate,and you know the
rules of the club forbid our tolling any
thing thnt is not true; so I am in rathei
a quandary what to tell you. "\enrs ago
I was up hi Montana near a p'aco now
known as Three Forks, Gallatin County,
ond a powerful place it was for grizzlies,
too, I can tell you. Why, I have seen a
m ny as thirty grizzlies in one afternoon,
and big fellows, too, and they did nol
see of to bo ftfr id of any one, either.
Well, ouo duv i n old scout and I deter
mined we would kill a few for the r skins,
ond to frighten them a little, as they were
beginning to be a little too familiar on
sucn snort nonce, we set out nDout z
o'clock in the afternoon, and got three fine
males in about two hours within a mile
of our prospective camp. We soon came
across another fellow, the biggest we had
yet seen, and got quite close to him
in order to make sure work of him. We
fired together at him, or rather intended
to do so, but my rifle missed fire for some
unaccountable reason, and the bullet
from the scout's rifle only wounded the
grizzly in one of his fore paws. He was
onto us pretty quick, I can tell you, and
we made for trees in a hurry. I got up
all right, but the scout missed his grasp
and fell to the ground. Before he conld
TA OK LIN Q THE OR 17. Z pi.
ger up ine grizzly WOB onto mm. ana a
terrific tussle ensued. The brute hugged
aud hugged aud bit fiercely, and the
scout kept stabbing nntl slashing with his
knife. I got an opportunity finally aud
fired, takiug chances. Fortunatelyl shot
the bear through the brain, and the scout
was saved, and, do you know, ho was not
much hurt after all. I asked him how be
liked tho hugging, aud, do you know, ho
actually Baid ho did not mind it very
much. He said he was used to something
of tho kind. I asked him how that was,
and he replied that he had boon married
seventeen yejirs in Utah, aud had eight
wivos.
"No; be was not afrAid of grizzlies.
Ho afterward siid ho preferred to toko
his chancos with them than to go buck to
Utah."
It Will Ever He Thus.
A citizen of Harlem who was ap
proaching the railroad depot, followed
by a dog, halted and picked up a stone
and flung it at the canine with the ex
clamation :
"You good-for-nothing cur, but I'd
like to kuock your bead off I"
Just then a man came down a side
street followed by another dog, and
halted to say:
"I've got another just such cur here.
He isn't worth his weight in soap
grease."
"I'll poison mine this very night!"
"And I'm going to throw mine under
the locomotive."
"Say," said the second man, after a
moment's thought, "call your cur up
here and let us get 'em to fighting."
"Good idea. Here, Jep—Jep—Jep!
Come here, doggie!"
The dog cautiously approached, and
as the two animals began growling and
walking around each other a sudden
"Stuboy!" brought a climax, aud they
began fighting. Both men laughed
hut it wasn't a minute before the first
man, whose dog was underneath,
kicked the dog on top.
"Hold on, now. Give my dog a fair
show I" shouted the other.
"He's the biggest!"
"No, he aint! Don't you kick my dog
again 1"
"I'm a good mind to kick his owner I"
"I'd like to Hee you try it ?"
"I can do it!"
"You're a liar."
And with that thoy began whaling
away at each other with the greatest
vigor, ending after five ninntes in a
draw. Meanwhile tho dogs had quit
and disappeared.
"I allow no one to kick my dog,"
gasped one, aud he wiped at his bloody
nose.
"And no living man can call me a
liar," growled the other, as heboid his
black eye.
"I'll soe you again."
"And I'll sco you."— New York Sun.
No Angels for Tlieni.
Early last summer aNew-Englander
moved out to a small town in Arizona
and announced his intention of opening
up a first-class grocery. He had a
number of bills posted up, dwelling
particularly on the fact that the busi
ness was to be square and above board.
Just as he was getting ready to open
shop a deputation of citizens waited on
him and asked the new-comer if tho
statement on tho placards were made
in good faith.
"You rnought as well give us the hull
truth about this thing," said t he leader.
"You mean to say there hain't goin' to
be no water in tlie vinegar V"
"That's what I mean, sir!" replied
the stranger, a little surprised. "Nor
no sand in the sugar 1"
"Ain't there goin' to be beans iu the
coffee ?"
"Most decidedly not, sir I"
"Nor chicory, nuther?"
"Never, gentlemen; I give you my
word for it."
The crowd seemed nonplused for a
moment, and the leader held a short
consultation, at the end of which he
turned and said:
"Say, stranger, we've concluded that
you air a suspicious character. Hut first
let me ask you if your cigars are goin'
to be loaded with cabbage, you
know ?"
"Not while I "
"That's all we wanted to know. YVe
give yon twenty-four hours to leave
town, an' you better leave. YVhen we're
iu need o' angels we'll drop you a pos
tal card. Good day strangor." And tho
deputation filed out.
Sundays in England.
The question of Sunday observance
is one which disturbs the clergy ol
England more, perhaps, than any
other, says an exchange. In some
places tho clergymen themselves havet
in order to secure some sort of respect
for the day, inaugurated Sunday
cricket clubs, the only restriction be
ing that as soon as the church bell#
ring, the players shall leave the game
anil attend to their religious duties.
An effort is also being made tc
encourage tlie oponing of museums
and picture galleries on Sunday. The
position is tuken that it' is better to
provide some innocent amnsemenf
than to allow the men to idle about
the streets and otherwise pass the
Sabbatli in vicious idleuess.
A RUSSIAN mineralogist, K. D.
Chrustschoff, claims to have discov
ered a new metal, which he propose#
to name "Russium." It resembles thor
ium.
OLD MRS. BLIVINS OF POKE.
BY KIL COI7RTLAND.
Old Mrs. Blivins lav all atone
Under a ueut gray marble stone.
Carved thereon was a broken rose,
And a sweet little angel v Ith stubby nose.
The gossips of I'oko all sai.l, "Poor dear I
fe'he bus pas-cd the news for many a year;
And such tulos, too" (hero they'd nod and
frown),
•When you think of the very small size of th
town."
Then they flow over fleld. thoy flow over brier,
They passed tho depot, they passed tho spire,
They crossed the bridgo and climbed the hill,
To be at tho l eading of Bliviiis' will.
They met in the office of Lawyer Brown,
One of tho smartest men in tho town ;
Who cleared his throat and jerked his head,
And then those very strange words ho read':
"Tho gossips of Poke, wit hout fear or fright,
Must visit my cravo In the lone midnight;
And when I've been gone a year and a day,
Must bivouac thero and have a soiroo.
"MOST MRM LOMI KXDHIOKT.'
Then, if I'm feeling like having tho bines,
Twill cheer me to hear them all passing thi
Old Mrs. Bltvlns' grave was green.
The hour was twelve, the night was serene,
Tho moonbeams danced in the April air,
When the gossips of Poke, each bearing a chair
To the rendezvous came. And down thoy all sat
To have a'dolightful neighborly chat. ,
They talked the choice bits over and ovor,
Bouietimos stopping their breath to recover.
And then they'd sigh, and say : "Poor dear I
Oh, how she'd enjoy this tale about Spear
And this awful sad thing about ltosa Key;
How she'd like it, along with muflius and tea."
And now aud again they'd stop aiul they'd
squeal.
•Dear good Mrs. Blivins, oh, how do you feel?'
You'd have thought, with such a harvest tc
reap,
Thoy'd have let Mrß. Blivins eternally sleep.
But no. As time flew and scandals gave out,
They pitched tnto the dead, though 'twas pain
ful, no doubt,
As Miss Flipps told the party; and theu thuj
began.
(Flipps sat next the angel, and as hor tougu
ran
Bhe prodded his legs with her Japanese fan.)
'She married llrst. Did you know it, Mlsi
Hodge?
"HOPPED THE UGLIEST GOBLIN EVER WAS SEEN.'
A very low man, his name was Mick Dodge,
And afterwards lilivins; and Blivins, they say,
Died at last iu a VERY HYSTERICUS WAY.
Now, all of a sudden a rumble was hoard,
The ground undernouth them seemed to b<
stirred;
A broad flash of light, a big cloud of smoke,
And into tho midst of the gossips of Poke,
O'er tho tall, the short, o'er the fat, tho loan,
Hopped tho ugliost goblin ever was seen;
His face was black, his eyes were red,
And a horn curled over tho top of his head.
Tho gossips of Poke they screamed, thoy ran,
And last came Flipps, with the Japanese fan:
The imp laughed loud aud clauked his chains.
Thon grabbed their sashes and trod on their
trains,
And seemed to be having, tho hrimatony olf,
A nice little circus, all planned by himself.
They flow ovor fleld, thoy flew ovor brior,
Thoy passed the depot, thoy passed tho spire,
And when tho clock in the church struck flvo,
They reached their homes inoro doad than alive.
And this is tho end—you may think it's a joko—
Of the story of Old Mrs, Blivins of Poke,
—Chicago Ledger.
MORTUARY STATISTICS.
BV WILLIAM AI.KXANLJF.It BOWEN.
statistics of
¥ I Ylife anil death aro
ft & I valuable to every-
Jjjrirfa*. 3 body, and all
J*54H should be ao
flf-Jij S quain ted with
\ mortuary facts.
th 'J chances of
OJJr - '. life are better in
' America than in
any other coun
-208 wero born on
the same day. Of these, 1,248 die be
fore reaching their first year; of the
9,025 who commence their second year,
only 8,188 live to the end of the third
year—or about four-fifths of tho origi
nal number. But during the fourth
year the little fellows seem to rally and
become stronger, and the death rate
decreases, and continues to decrease
until tho twenty-first year, which is. as
few seem to know, made the age of
maturity because it is the period of the
highest state of health and when the
death rate is lowest. There are 7,134
of the original infants who have
reached maturity and begun the re
sponsibility of life—more than two
thirds of the 10,208 born twenty-one
years before. At thirty-five, the me
ridian of manhood—so called because
it is just half of tho three score and
ten years the palmist says are the
allotted days (on an average) of strong
manhood—there are 0,302 living. Fifty
fivo years, and tho ranks are thinning
rapidly—only 4,727 are living. After
this the percentage of mortality stead
ily increases, until, at the age of 70
years, there are less than 1,000 living
the figures being between 897 and
913. A possiblo few live to the close
of the century, but in 100 years not
one remains—all have passed away.
These figures are from the average life
of man, kept by tho insurance compa
nies for more than three centuries,
taking only healthy lives as a standard,
and may be relied upon.
An Aclor's Presence of Mind.
Of his experiences in his early days
Bothern, says his memoirs, with his
keen sense of humor, had, in after life,
many amusing stories to tell, of which
the following is an examplo: An actor
was playing the part of a prisoner in a
dungeon, and, in order to make his es
oaue. had concealed in his dress a file
about eighteen incnes long, no naa
filed off his handcuffs and shackles,
and through his prison bars, and had
leaped 011 the stage, when the King's
carabineers made their appearance and
pointed their muskets at him, the busi
ness of the piece being that he was to
be shot dead in full view of the audi
ence. The word "Fire!" was given,
followed by half a dozen feeble and
harmless "clicks," the property man
liuving forgotten to "load" the guns.
Here was a dilemma. Without the
death of the escaped prisoner the piece
could not come to an end, and how was
the unfortunate actor to commit the
happy dispatch? Quick as lightning
an idea, which surely proved that he
had real dramatic genius, came into
liis mind. With a quick movement he
thrust the ponderous file in the direc
tion of liis throat, at the same instant
performing a kind of conjuring trick
which caused it to disappear, and then
melodramatically exclaimed: "My God!
1 have swallowed the tile!" He then
came down to the footlights, and, to
the entire satisfaction of the audience,
expired in great agony.
SPARKS OF WIT
PLANE sailing- in a prairie schooner.
A WIRE puller—the telegraph line
mau.
JAGGS Pawnbrokers are ornery
cusses. Baggs—l'es; but you have to
put up with them.
WHILE the English drum-beat is
heard around the world, tlio American
dead-beat isn't far behind.
JONES— "Say, Browne, why do you
call your eldest boy Telephone?"
Brown—"Because he never works."
A SCHOOLBOY, being asked in an ex
amination to state the significance of
LL.D., wrote: "LL.I). stands for lung
and liver doctor."
A SPORTING character heaving of a
horse eating meat said he had seen
many nags running for stakes, and he
can chuck-1 e over that.
"GRACIOUS," exclaimed Mrs. Mala
prop, "I read in the papers of a 'Con
gressman at large.' I do hope they'll
capture him before he does any harm."
BY a quick shot he had just rescued
her from the clutches of a bear. "What
were your thoughts when bruin com
menced to squeeze?" was bis inquiry.
"Oh, Charlie, I thought of you!"
WHEN the old lady had fallen into
the well, and was rescued with some
difficulty, she declared that "had it not
been for Providence and another man,"
she never would have been got out
alive.
"UPON my soul," exclaimed Mrs.
Flyaround, "I never saw such an old
gadder in all my life as that Mrs.
Neverliome is! Actually, I called
seveu times at her home and couldn't
get in once."
"ISN'T it lonely here, George? Did
you ever know anything so still ?" "Oh,
yes. Once." "When was that?" "I
hired a plumber once to do a day's work
for mo, and he never moved from morn
ing to night."
IRATE POLITICIAN —Look here, you
published a lie about me this morning
—an infamous lie. I won't stand it.
Serene editor—But just think where
you would be if we were to publish the
truth about you."
STRANGER —Excuse me, sir, but did
not you buy a bottle of hair invigorator
in that barber shop V Binks—Yes; why ?
Stranger—Oh, nothing; only I wish to
inform you that I am the most artistic
wjgmaker on the street.
JON SMlTH —Debrown has changed
wonderfully since ho went to work o
that religious paper. He leads a blame
fess life now. Jonjones—Yes, he does
nothing wrong now except to lie about
the circulation of his paper.
FOOLISH MAIDEN.
Of all tho foolish fashions
That foolish women wear,
There's nothing more outlandish
Than banging of tho hair.
It is a dangerous habit, too,
And all girls should beware,
Lest after they are married
They still should bang their hoir.
"SHALL I vind the clock, vadder?"
asked young Jacob Isaacstein, as they
were about to close the storo. "No,"
said tho old gentleman with a sigh,
"pizness vas too pad. Clioost let it
alone, Jacob, und ve will save the vear
and tear of the veels."
MESSRS. GIBBON and Redman (call
ing)—ls Miss Flirtette in? Bridget
Faith, I don't know. She said of it wuz
that rid-hidded, freckled dtule, she
wasn't in; but if it was that handsome
Mr. Gil)bon, she wus. But, begorry,
you're both here together.
Miss PRlTTlE— Grandma, Mr. Pat
tois is going to give me an elegant ring
set with a carbuncle. Grandma (hor
rified) —You mustn't take it, child!
Don't touch it! For your grandpapa's
Uncle Joe had one o' them carbuncles,
and died with it inside o' three weeks'
time!" >
THERE is a benevolent gentleman in
Boston who gives twenty-live cents for
religious purposes every time when ho
swears. He has already d d a new
steeple on tho Presbyterian church,
and is now engaged in "cursing up" a
donation to the Home Missionary So
ciety.
A COOK who had burned up a pieco
of veal weighing four pounds threw it
away, and afterward explained to her
mistress that the cat had eaten the
meat. "Very well," said the lady, "we
will see that directly." So saying, she
took the cat, put it on the scales, and
found that it weighed exactly four
pounds. "There, Fredericka," she said,
"are tho four pounds of meat—but
where is the cat?"
To the MhiisfePs.
He—Now, dearest, that we are out
for a walk, is there any place that you
are particularly desirous of going to ?
I am at your service.
She (shyly)— Yes, George; I would
like to go to that big white house over
on the next corner.
Ho—All right, dear. Some friend
of yours lives there, I suppose?
She—Yes, George, tho minister.
He "caught on "—Yankee Blade.
THE flooding of a Fiji plantation by
an unusually high tide lately resulted
in the important discovery that disease
of bananas may be prevented, and a
healthy growth secured in young
plants, by the application of sea-water
to the ground.
WHAT difference is there between a
bold, bad man and a flannel shirt? The
difference is that a bold, bad man
shrinks at nothing, while flannol only
takes umbrage at water.
A REGION whore buffaloes are increas
ing, and that at a rapid rate, is North
Australia. Specimens of the wild buf
falo ( Bos bubalus) were introduced in
1829, and vast herds are said to bo now
wanderipg over the country.
Corn as Fuel.
Some people seem to be horrified when
they hear of corn being used for fuel.
Now, if corn is cheaper than coal, what
posssblc objection can there be to using
it for fuel? A Kansas farmer can get
thirteen cents for a bushel of corn. Let
us see, that is $3.70 for a ton. To get
that he may have to haul his corn six or
eight miles to market. If he buys coal
he will pay from $1 to $5 a ton, and haul
it the six or eight miles back home.
The matter simply comes down to the ques
tion of how he can get the most effective
fuel for a dollar. You could hardly ex
pect a farmer to pay a bonus in order
that he might burn coal if he could get
the heat sonic other way. Corn at $3.70
a ton is cheaper fuel than coal at $0 a
ton, and, besides, it has in its favor the
fact that the farmer has the corn at home.
There is 110 more reason for a sentimen
tal objection to burning corn than there
is to burning wood.—[Chicago Tribune.
A Whistling Tree.
The musicul or whistling tree is found
in the West Indian Islands, in Nubia and j
the Soudan. It has a peculiar-shaped 1
leaf, and pods with a split or open edge.
The wind passing through these gives out
the sound which gives the tree its pecu
liar name. 111 Barbadoes there is a valley
filled with these trees, and when the trade
winds blow across the island a constant
moaning, deep-toned whistle is heard
from it, which in the still hours of the
night has a very wierd and unpleasant ef
fect. A species of acacia, which grows
very abundantly in the Soudan, is also
called the "whistling tree" by the na
tives. Its shoots are frequently by the
agency of the lame of insects distorted
in shape and swollen into a globular blad
der from one to two inches in diameter.
After tlie insect has emerged from a cir
cular hole in the side of this swelling, the
opening, played upon by the wind, be
comes a musical instrument, equal in
sound to a sweet-toned fiute.
—There are onl.v twenty-nine free-traders
in the French Parliament*, the remainder of
the deputies standing up stoutly lor the pro
tective home industry creed of the Thiers
school.
When the sumraorV wee has faded
What shall make it fulr again?
When the face with pain in shaded
What shall drive away the pain?
Nover shall a blossom brighten
After blighted by the frost.
But the load of pain may lighten.
And we need not count its lost
all the pUasnro of life when the wifo and
mother, upon whom the happiness of home so
largoly deiends. s afflict- with tho delicate
disoasoa peculiar to women. It is terrible to
contemplate tho misery existing in our
because of the prevalence of those diseases. It
is high timo that all women should kuow taut
there is ono SOTS remedy for ll female com
plaints, and Hint Is Dr. Plerco's Favorite Pro
scription. Do not allow 111-health to fasten it
self upon you. Ward it oIT by tho use of this
Standard remedy. But if it has already crept
in, put it to rout. You can do it, by tho uso of
tho "Favorito Proscription." It is gim ranked
to giro satisfaction in every case, or mouey
paid lor it will bo returned.
For biliousness, sick headache, indigestion
and cons, ipai ion. tako Dr. Pierce s Pellets.
—Liberalism is the trust of the people tem
pered by prudence; conservatism, distrust
of the people tempered by fear.
Oregon, tlir Paradise of Farmers.
Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass and stock coun
try in the world., cull information free. Ad
dress Oregon Irn .grat'n Board. Portland, Ore.
—lnlovo. s in every thing else, experience
is a physician which never comes until alter
the disorder is cured.
If aßllclcil W illi Horn i yna no Dr. Isaac I hump
ion's Eye-Water DI IIKVIHIK wll 2se pr bottle
—God intended for women two provisions
against sin—modesty and remorse.
Ono by ono tho roses full, but "Taiisi'l's)
Punch " sc. Cigar outlives them all.
—Tilings unhoped for happen oftoner than
things that we desire.
Kntltlod to the float.
Ailaro entitled to the best that their money
Will buy, so evory family should have, at onoe
a bottle of tho best family remody. Syrup of
Figs, to cleanse the system wheu costive or bil
ious. For solo in 50c. and $1 bottles by all
leading druggists.
—You may find people ready enough to do
the good Samaritan without the oil and two
pence.
Catarrh Can't be Cured
With LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot
reach tho seat of the disease. Catarrh is a
blood or constitutional disease, and In order to
euro it you havo to take internal remedies.
Hall's Catarrh Curo is taken intornally, and 1
aois direotlv on tho blood and mucous sur
faces. Hall's Catarrh Cure is no quack medi- J
oine. It was prescribed by one of tho best j
physicians in this country for years, and is a 1
regular prcecriptL<n. Jt Is compos, d of tho I
best tonics known, combined with tho best I
blood purifiers, acting directly on the mucous
surface*. The perf.ot combination of tho two i
ingredients is what produces ruch wonderful
results iu curing catarrh. Send for testimoni
als free.
F. J. OHENKT & Co., Props., Toledo, O.
Sold by price 75c.
—Remove but tlo temptation of leisure,
and the bow of Cupid will lose its effect.
Do your alotLes Inst as they used to? If not,
you must bo using a soap or washing jtowdtr that
tots them. Try the good uld-/ashionrd Dobbins's
Electric Soap, per/mly pure to-day as m LUS.
—Girls we lovo for what they are, young
men for what they promise to be.
Would You Relievo
The Proprietor ot Kemp's Balsam gives
Thousands of Bottles away yearly? This niodo
of advertising would prove ruinous if the
Balsam was not a perfect cure for Coughs and
all Throat and Lung troubles. You will see
the excellent effect after taking the first dose.
Don't hesitate! Procure a bottle to-day to keep
in your home or room for immediate or future |
use. Trial bottle Free at all druggists'. Largo
Size 50c and sl.
—What a heavy burden is a name which
lias beeomo too soon famous. ÜB.
STJACaBSOJY
TRADE MARK^j
XT" COKQUKRB PAIN", i
Believes ana curei HEADACHE,
RHEUMATISM, Tosl'utcbe, Bprains,
NKUItALCIA, BKUISES,
Sciatica, Liiisiiase. Burns and Scalds.
At Drugcists and Raalers.
THE CHARLES A. VOBELER CO.. Baltimore. Md.
£tSj£gU
OV
HAY
FEVERt: *>l
50 Cts.
COLD-HEAD
ELI? IMOTB±atS,W Warren SU, New lor*. |
ALL SORTS OF QUEER FISH.
The Census Bureau Offers a New List
of Funny Ones.
For the first time in the history of
census making in this country, the bureau
which conducts that important work finds
itself now compelled, by an act of Con
gress approved last March, to produce
statistics regarding the fishes that inhabit
the waters in and about the United States.
The superintendent's first contribution to
this branch of human knowledge has just
been published in the shape of a list,
merely giving the names of aquatic
animals sought by fishermen." However,
this list is surprisingly interesting to pur
sue, so very many queer fishes there are in
it, or, at all events, fishes with exceedingly
queer names.
To begin with: it would appear that
nearly all of the animals found on dry
land have namesakes in the watery
depths, fresh or salt. Poking around
among the unfathomed eaves of ocean,
following the beds of running streams, or
far down in the fluid crystal of the lakes, |
you will find the sea-hog—an insulting
name for the sportive porpoise—the sea- |
lion, the sea-elephant, the sea-cow, which
suckles its young; the porcupine-fish,
the sea-horse, the goose-fish, the toad-fish,
the parrot-fish, otherwise known as slip
pery dick ; the squirrel-fish, the pig-fish,
the buffalo-fish, the tiger shark, the cow- I
fish, otherwise called the grampus —Saui
Weller's favorite though disrespectful
designation for his father—the wolf-fish, |
"THE KING'S TOUCH" SUPERSTITION.
In England, two centuries ago, popular superstition credited the " Royal
Touch" with curing scrofula; aud although for scoffing at the idea in 1691 the
King was declared to be an " infidel." even his " faithless" touch was credited
wltt a cure. These superstitious practices have now become obsolete, and in
; their place we have a scientific remedy in Ilr. Tierce's Golden Medical Discovery,
' which eliminates the impurities from the blood by the natural channels, thereby
cleansing the system of all taints and impurities from whatever cause arising.
It is truly a royal remedy, world-famed and guaranteed to benefit or cure in
every case, or money paid for it will be refunded. The ouly blood-purifier ever
so guaranteed and sold by druggists. As a regulator of the Stomach, Liver and
Bowels, "Golden Medical Discovery" cures all bilious attacks, Indigestion aud
Dyspepsia, Chronic Diarrhea and kindred ailments. For all derangements
caused by malaria, as Fever and Ague, Chills and Fever, and Bilious Fever, it
is specific. As an alterative or blood-purifier, it manifests its marvelous prop
erties in the cure of the worst Skin and Scalp Diseases, Salt-rheum, Tetter,
Eczema, and Scrofulous Sores and Swellings, as well as Lung-scrofula, com
monly known as Pulmonary Consumption, if taken in time and given a fair
trial. WORLD'S DISPENSARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Proprietors, No. 663
Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
F" ft ft is offered by the manufacturers of DR. SAGE'S
Mk Nl■ II ntßHny CATARRH REMEDY, for a case of Catarrh In
%M V v the Head which they cannot cure. By lta
mild, Boothing, and healing propertlea, Dr.
Sago's Remedy cures tho worst cases, no matter of ho.w long Btanding. 50c„ by druggista.
W\NTi:i) ( (H'N'l'Y A(i I'.NTS Cniniiii-si *n ."()
Iercent. S. F. SMITH, Frankfort, Ky.
lIAIIC sTI'I) Y. Book-kroplng,BusinessForm*.
UURIC Penmanship, Ari hm<*tic, short hand. etc..
n thoroughly taught by MAIL Circular® ireo
llryaut'® College. 457 Main Hi., Buffalo. N. T
nnillll HABIT. Only Certain and
fIIHIIIM 'hh> ( I RE In the World. Dr.
VI IUITI J. a.. STIPIIENH, Lebanon. 0
FIENSI
3 yrs iii last war, 13 udiudieuting claiiDH, att.v silica.
CATCH THE FOXES.
If an v person will son I me 1> cents silver at my I
risk) I will sen 1 lil'ii by mall the ol I Indian rac GpS I
for milking Fox llult. the smell of which will ca I
a tox a long distance. Also full directions for settiii* ,
the trap. Addneis CHAS. FOWLER, Orauge, Conn. !
FRAZER G^A f E
BEST IW Til E WORLD U It L M Ob
T fW~ Get Genuine. Bold Etsi rrt her*. j
DETECTIVES
Wanted In every County. Shrewd men to act tin
der Instiuctlons In our secret service. xpi-rience
not necessary. Particulars tree. t.iuiiuuii De
tective Bureau to. 4 I Arcade, Cluelunuti, O.
PENSIONS si ISI
oi JOSEPH It* 11L' NTKK. ATTOII NK V.
WASHINGTON. I>. C.
JONES
P * t®„ T \V HT.
frW JONES'" OF 'BTnghamton
* Nf' 111 NUII AOl TON. N. Y.
WiH STREET
VY ILLLB INVESTMENTS !
Full Information supplied; how to operate on small
capital. HATCH & KENDALL, 52 Exchange PI., N. V.
NORTHERN PACIFIC.
LOW PRICE RAILROAD LARDS Ir
EE Government LANDS.
MILLION'S OF AMIES In Minnesota, North
Dakota, Montana, Idaho, Washington ud Oregon.
CCUfI CAD PulllcatioiiK with maps describing the
SEND FUR brat Agricultural. Crating and Tim
ber Lands now open to settlers. scut tree. A. dress
CHAS. B. LAMBORN, |
piso-s REMEDY FOB r.Vi'AKUu.—Easiest to use.
■■ J- cheapest. Relief is immediate. A cure is certain, For WW
X* I; is an Ointment, of which a small particle 13 applied to tho -vg)
liuttrils. Price, soe. ciold by druairists or sent by mail. CJM
OH Addiess, V. I. JlAitaai INK, Warren, Pa. ®8
the sea-robin and the flannel-mouthed cat*
Even the fabulous beast that is supposed
to cherish against the lion such a mortal
*' enmity, though never found on the earth,
is discovered in the sea-unicorn.
. Besides these, if you are sufficiently
industrious in your search beneath the
i waters, you will come across a sun-fish
*, and a moon-fish, a devil-fish and an angel
] I fish, a cigar-fish and a pipe-fish, a surgeon
fish and a doctor-fish, a king-fish and a
I queen-fish, a silver-fish and a gold-fish ;
also a Jew-fish, a bug-fish, a eutlass-fish
' and a sabre-fish, and last, but not least, a
puffing-grubbv.
I Sueh lots of crabs there seem to be—
i more kinds than ever you or I would have
imagined—l<> bite your toes, that wading,
• after all, might not be a safe amusement
or pleasant, oveu though one were able to
find all these curious fish. Just a few of
the available crabs hereabout are the
fiddler-crab, the oyster-crab, the rock
crab, the Jonah-crab, the red-crab, the
hermit-crab, lhe stone-crab, the Joe
roekcr or green-crab, the lady-crab, the
sand-crab, the blue-crab, the sea-crab, the
kelp-crab and the spider-crab. Of all
the unpleasant things in Mr. Porter'slist,
such as the many-armed cuttle-fish, the
medicinal—leach and various bugs, per
haps the less said the better. —[Washing-
ton Star.
PHILADELPHIA, according to the Rec
ord, cuts in the course of the year 200,-
000,000 eggs, of which seven-eighths come
from lowa, Kansas, Minnesota and Ne
braska, packed in refrigerator cars hold
ing 144,000 each.
BIT HE. WONDERFUL IF
uh.tltmiU tart,>l \j pric*A,& •* CD C C
and ship <OKIS te ban II itEC
paid for on ilolivsry. Mill<lll AIM
Send st imp tor Cat*- VVwJLf/1
"ague. A<i w y-o.D 4uirt*FxlW
LCUIIiG MFC. CO.. 146 BL th It"rattaSaLJ.
OFLATEFUL-COMPOR FLNO.
EPPS'S COCOA
BREAKFAST.
"By a thorough kit >w!odge of the natural laws
whloti govern th • operations of digestion aud nutri
tion, and by a careful application of the line proper
| ties of well-selected Cocoa, Mr. Epps has provided
*ir breakfast tables with a delicately flavoured ber
| erage which nmv save us many heavy <lootors' bids.
it Is by the Judicious use of such articles of dlot
I that a cou-tltuilon may be gradually built up until
strong enough to resist every tendency to disease.
Hundreds of subtle maladies are floating around us
ready to attack wherever there is a weak point.
We may escape many a fatal shaft by keeping our*
selves well fortified with pure blood aud a properly
nourished frame."— I "Civil Service (lazctte.
Made simply with boiling water or milk. Sold
only lu nalf-p uud tin , by Grocers, labelled thus:
J A TIES Kl'l'ai Sk CO.. Homoeopathic Chemists,
LONDON. ENOLA.NI>.
DROPSY
THEATEI) FREE.
I'oNitively Cured with Vegetable Itraiedies.
Have cured thousands of eases. Cure patlouts pro
nounced hopeles; oy best physicians. From first dose
symptoms disappear; in ten days at least two-thirds
all symptoms removed. Send for froo booc testimo
nials of miraculous cures. Ten days tA'oatinont
free l* mall. If v.:i order trial, scad 10c. In stamp*
to pay post •. I'it. H. H. OiiasN A SONS, Atlanta, Oa
* nd th*"*
" u'''N<"RAiiAM.M n..
Amsterdam, N. Y.
gSM Mf ioo\j by th* We have sold l'.ig <j for
CugZrifil Chemical gDren* the* test '\f' sat it*
*D!TC'DYOHF. A CO.,
81,00, Bold by Druggists.
AFTER ALL OTHERS FAIL CONSULT
DR. LOBB ,
.'MO North Firtroiiih St., Philadelphia, Pa., fot
the treatment of Blood Poisons, Skin Erupt lone.
Nervous Complaints, Bright'® Disease. Stricture*
Impotenoy and kindred dfseiuoe, no mutter of how
i long standing or from what cause originating
OTTen days' medicines furnished by mall rprr
! *end for Book ou SPECIAL DINCIIHCH. rM.Ci