HOW I RAN INTO MATRIMONY.
I RY CHARLES S. BLACKBURN.
tI WAS setting
type in a South
notliin*" fellow
who made up for
liis lack of knowl
edge by the free
use of big words.
He knew nothing
of the printing
& could learn noth
* ing; if alive now,
le could not tell a foot-slug from a
jolumn-rule. He was tall and exas
peratingly lean, wore a plug hat and a
lack coat, and prided himself on doing
he drinking of the establishment. But
ae was a good man, for he trusted me
iiiee, of which I shall tell.
One afternoon in June, when the
lark-green hills and shady valleys
looked unusually tempting and made
we long to be a fish, or a squirrel, or
i grasshopper, anythiug than a printer
it $lO a week, he came into the office,
•tuck his elbow on a half galley of
•mall pica, and pied a stick-full of his
leader, "The True Solution of the
Negro Question." I wet the matter
ind began straightening it up. He
said:
"Say, Eph, I've got an idea."
"If you have you stole it," said I to
aiyself; to him I answered:
"What is it?"
"You're a good printer and can write
purty well. When I left town last
spring to keep way from the Gran'
jury, your work you done then was
well spoke of by the patrons of the
Eayle."
"Well, what's the idea?" I said, as I
distributed the pi.
"This new town out here, where
they've put the cotton factory, need/; a
paper. I've got more stuff here than I
want. S'posc you take some of it, and
one of them presses, and give 'em one ?"
I went. Begonia was the name of
the place. It was iu the woods, seventy
five miles from a railroad. A hole a
mile square had been cut iu the forest,
and in it the town was built. The
factory stood at one end, up to the
front of which ran two rows of red
houses, beginning at tlio other end.
Around these were scattered the com
mercial and social portions of the com
munity. It was a wild business ven
ture, 1 thought, to start a factory
there, but I considered my own scheme
and said nothing.
The "city" was not incorporated, and
hilarious people had therefore a wide
field for tlio exercise of their predilec
tion. The Border Sent ind —that was
the name of my paper— did not assume
a pious role, but it occasionally ad
monished the boys to keep their prac
tical jokes for the vulgar multitude.
This admonition was first wrung from
me by the fact that one evening they
made a target of my signboard. They
laughed at my warning, and said some
thing about dumping my old shop into
the road. On a certain Saturday when
they had been unusually atrocious they
wound up their entertainment by shoot
ing ail old negro's mule and sending
me the ears. The next issue of the
Sentinel contained this paragraph :
Hank Bust, Jim Gosling, and auother uiulo
Docoino engaged in a personal altercation In
front of Tube Can field's saloon last Saturday
svening. The trouble grew out of a wager be
tweeu thorn as to which could bray tho loudest.
Wo could not get all the particulars of Iho
affair, but it sccrus that the other mule make
some funny remark about Hank and Jim and
got tho laugh on tlicm with the crowd. They
got mad. pulled t heir pops, and in less time than
it takes to tell it tho poor other mule fell mor
tally wounded ami dial iu a few minutes. But
it seems that lliiuk and Jim lost each an ear iu
the fracas, for a friend of ours, who wont over
tlio ground soon after tho light, picked up two
ears—and they are both left ones. They are now
In our possession, and having been previously
'well done" in alcohol, there is no need for us to
submit them to tho preserving procoßs. If Jim
and llauk want their ears, they can got them by
calling at our oflicc.
Working in the spinning department
of the factory was a little red-headed
girl, with filbert-colored eyes, and a
peach-blow complexion, partly hidden
beneath a layer of brown freckles. I
boarded with her mother, who was a
widow, and fell in lovo with her—the
girl. I mean. One night I was "mak
ing-up"—not to tho girl but tho forms,
at the office. Tho weather was clear
and cold, with starlight. I had justi
fied the last column, and was washing
my hands, when there was a knock at
tlio door. I have as much grit as tho
ordinary printer man, but that knock
scared inc. The door was locked.
Pistol in hand, I walked to the front,
and, in tho most composed voice I
could assume, asked:
"Who's there?"
"It's mc."
If a man loves a woman, her gram
matical inaccuracies are pleasing
eccentricities. When he hears them
at midnight, instead of the assassin's
whisper ho is fearing, they are aweetei
than music. The voice was Ella's—
that was her name. I laid down my
pistol, opened the door, and took hex
in my Aims.
"O, good gracious, Mr. Lester, dc
you think I came all the way from
home this time of night to let you hug
me ?"
"No, Ella, but "
I stopped short,Jfor I saw she was
very pale.
"What's the matter, Ella?" I asked.
"It's jes' this, Mr. Lester. You're iu
awful danger. Hank Best and Jim
Gosling's iixin' to kill you. Mamma's
sick, an' I wont to the comp'ny store to
git some medicine. When I passed
the blacksmith shop I heard your name
spoke. I stopped and listened. Jim
Gosling, he said : 'All light, boys. I'll
sot fire to his office to-night, and wo
kin git the drau on 'im termorrow ef
he'sinnates anything erbout it.'"
"'I be constable lives two miles from
here," I said. "My nearest neighbors
are of the Hank and Jim kind. You
go home, Ella, aud I'll stay here and
see Jim set fire to the Border Sentinel
office."
"No, no," she pleaded; "if you stay
here, I will, too."
"But, think. What will people
say "
"I don't cave what they say, when I
know I'm light."
A gust of wind blew the door open
and put the light out.
"Now, you must go," I said, after
having rummaged the office in search
of a match.
"Hush!" she whispered,after a pause.
"There they are."
The house w as a pine box structure,
and slood on tlie edge of the wood. I
stole out, bidding Ella stay within,
and turned the corner. The under
g.owth rustled and a dark form ap
peared. Tt walked up to the rear of
tho building and fixed n big mass of
stuff beneath the sill. Then it struck
a match. 1 fired. A shot answered
mine and my pistol dropped from my
hand. My arm was broken. Simul
taneous with this came a report, from
behiud me. which was answered with a
groan rrom tne wood. Then all was
still.
The next and last issue of the Sen
tinel contained the report of the Coro
ner's jury. It showed that I killed Jim
Gosling, and that Ella had put a bul
let through Hank Best's knee. Hank's
wound kept him from running way,
but it did not keep him from running
into the penitentiary. Ella and I ran
into matrimony.
"Cases" in town are better than a
proprietorship in the country, although
the incidents of the latter are much
more exciting. But the chance of getting
even half as good a wife as Ella is
snough to make a fellow take an army
press, a barrel of long primer, and
start to Oklahoma.
The Conscientious Broker.
I heard a very clever story on a
prominent broker a few days ago a
man whose name I am not at liberty to
discuss, though I may say that he is
well known as a picture buyer. This
broker had some mining stock which
he had long regarded as worthless, and
one day when he found an opportunity
to get rid of it at a pretty fair consid
eration, he was very liappy. That very
uiglit, however, after he went home, lie
received a telegram announcing that
this mine, of which he had sold the
stock, had developed a lead of extraor
dinary richness. An hour afterward
the purchaser of the stock received a
telegram from the broker, who desired
to see him immediately upon a subject
of great importance. The buyer called
anil was told by the servant that the
broker was very ill and could not bo
seen.
"But I must see him: I have been
sent for by him not half an hour ago "
The servant went upstairs and
brought back word that the visitor
might go up.
The broker was in bed, moaning with
pain. The lights wero turned low.
When the visitor entered the broker
began:
"My dear Jones, I have had to-day
another of tho dreadful attacks I am
subject to, and I am afraid this last
one is going to 'do me up.' I sent for
you to confess that I have taken ad
vantage of you in a business transact
ion, and I want to make reparation be
fore I die. That mining stock I sold
you to-day was really worthless, and it
troubles me that I took advantage of
you."
"Oh, nonsense; that is all right. I
didn't pay you much for it and 1 can
easily sell it to somebody else."
"No, that will not do. I want to
take it back and pay you back jour
money. I can't rest until I have made
this right."
"Oh, well if you feel that way, of
course I will give you it back."
"Very well, and while I am able to
sign a check 1 will prepare one, and, in
tho meanwhile, you cau bring back the
stock."
The visitor went home, got the stock,
and returning it, received the check
which the now utterly exhausted brok
er had tilled out for him. Ho went
away musing upon tho vicissitudes of
human life and tilled with profound
sj'mpathv for the sorrowing family of
the rapidly sinking broker.
And the broker? The moment his
customer was out of the house he leap
ed out of bed and gleefully danced
around tho room in a manner that
would have aroused the envv of Car
mencita could she have seen it. But
tho customer, next daj', when he learn
ed of the rise in the value of the stock,
metaphorically kicked himself for his
stupidity in being taken in by a brok
er's "conscience." - Minneapolis Trib
une. ,
"Ah, Mrs. Blackstreet, it's vory lucky
I did not meet you at the time tliat pic
ture was taken."
"Ah, Doctor, I'm afraid you are a
flatterer. Do you mean lucky for me?"
"Ahem, no, not exactly. Lucky for
Was Wid Him.
An old negro who w as sleeping alone
in a cabin was awakened bv a noise in
the room, and striking a light, saw a
man attempting to open a drawer.
"Whut you doin' dar?"
The robber, himself a negro, an
swered : "Tryin' ter see what you got
in dis house. '
"Dar ain't notliiu' yere dat 'longs ter
you."
"Will 'long ter me when I gits my
ban's on it."
"Look yere, generman, tell you whut
111 do. I'll shoot craps wid j'ou right
here,"
"I'so wid J'ou," the robber answered.
"Fetch out yo' bones."— Arkansaxu
Traveler.
Bough on the Roof,
Builder—-I want you to do some
thing for me.
Friend—What is it?
"You seothis house is almost finished,
excepting shingling the roof.
"So I perceive."
"Well, 1 want you to look around
and see if you can't find a thin car
penter who does not weigh more than
120 pounds. I must have o light car
penter to put on those shingles. If a
heavy mau goes up on that roof toe
whole house will tumble in."
Wanted to Satisfy Him.
Prominent Citizen—Slado of Metro
politan Hotel has just killed another
feller —tourist from the Fast som'eres.
Second Prominent Citizen—What
was the feller doin' to Slade ?
"Nuthin' only givin' his orders.
Wanted a fire in his room, weather
strips on tho door, soap, towel, hot wa
ter, more quilts, and I fergit what
else. An' Slade shot him."
"Oh, I s'pose Slade reckoned it was
a pity that u feller who wanted
heaven so bad shouldn't have it."—
Munsey'e Weekly.
SkPF-forortkulness in love for
others lias a foremost place in our ideal
of charaotor, and our deep homage, as
representing the in' B end of humanity.
Who does upbraid himself for his slow,
uess in those sympathies 7, hich are as
a multiplying mirror to the joy of life,
reflecting them in endless play?
UOW I BECAME A SPIRITUALIST. 1
BY CHARLES 8. BLACKBURN.
PAM naturally in
clined to skepticism. j
lleiug of an investi
gating turn of mind,
and my profession
(dentistry) leudiug
mo into the realms
of physical science,
it was ever my habit
to beliove nothing
that could not be !
proven. Spiritual*
side red to be the work of charlatans
who should be declared vagi ants and
placed on the chaiu-gang, while its
devotees I rated as soft brained people
who ought to be contined iu an asylum !
for imbeciles.
But 1 had an experience that con
verted me. My wife had read ol
"seances" that were being given by a
medium, and proposed that we go wit
ness them. At first the suggestion so
astounded me that I though her crazy;
but she said of course she did not be
lieve in sucli nonsense, only thinking
it would be a harmless way to spend a
pleasant evening. She enjoyed a
sleight-of-liand performance, she said,
and she considered these "spiritual"
manifestation and materializations as
nothing more. I agreed to go, with
holding a desperate resolve J made at
the time. I am a man of powerful
physical strength and proportions
over six feet high—and would, before
this occurrence, have bargained to
hold a prize-fighter after I had once
gotten my hands on him. I determin
ed that when one of those spirits came
near me I would catch and hold it,'and
prove it real llesh and blood.
We went. There was a good crowd.
It was a small room. The only furni
ture was a cabinet in a corner farthest
from the auditors. The room was
darkened. To soft music spirits began
to appear. They came from the cabi
net, in which tlio medium, a dried
herring old man, weighing one hundred
pounds, was seated, and were faintly
visible in white raiment. One, larger
than the rest, walked off from his fol
lows and came toward me. "Come a
little further," I said to myself, "and I
will see whether you are of diaphanous
material or not." It came. I grasped
it firmly around the waist. It made a
noise that was neither a groan nor n
howl, but seemed like a subdued moan
struggling for louder utterances, and
dragged me to the cabinet. Here my
breath stopped short, my brain reeled,
and I lost consciousness for a moment.
The next instant the spirit was gone,
the lights were raised, and I stood at
the door of the cabinet stupidly gazing
at the medium who occupied his seat
as when first ho entered, sleeping as
quietly as an infant.
Trembling, scarcely able to stand, I
tottered to my seat and fell into it as 1
limp as a dishrag. I was frightened,
but not fully converted. I l'olt that
nothing short of an immortal could
escape my strong hold as this had 1
done; but in search of a confederate,
whom, of course, I suspected, I min
utely inspected the room. I found no 1
place where one could be hidden. I 1
had the cabinet taken to pioees. No
fraud was there.
"Doctor," said the medium, who
called at my office next day, "this was (
a test case, so I am informed by tlio {
control. Your intention was under
stood, and the spirit approached you
in consequence. Are you still a skep
tic?"
"Count mo henceforth as a believer," j
I answered. "Truly, are there more
things in heaven and earth than are
dreamt of in our philosophy. The fact
that any force can shake me off in an
instant, as did that last night, is all
sufficient proof that it is not of this
world." HORACE ABLER. I
"Men who think themselves the I
closest investigators are always the
most careless," said the "medium," i
when he had returned to his room.
"You converted him;" this to the big
fellow who sat beside lain,with an arm 1
as hard as railroad iron and a hand as
big as a canvased-liam. "He was so \
frightened be couldn't understand how 1
his breath left him so quickly."
"If he could see that, now, lio'd 1
know," said tlio man, holding up a 1
fist as full of knots as a Zulu's club. 1
"An' spoakiii' of breath, do you know I
come mighty nigh suffocatiu' after I .
got back in that panel closet," point
lug to the wall. "It a tight place to bo 1
in, in more respects than one." — C hi- j
cayo Ledtjer. \
. . I
He Found n Job. I
"Has your husband found work yet, 1
Mrs. McGarrity?"
"He lie/, tliet, mum. lie's a picter
hanger."
"A picture banger? Why, I supposed
that required artistic skill and a good
deal of taste."
"Paste, indade it docs, mum. It
takes a dale av paste, sure. The poor
bye carries a bucket av it wid him all
day, and then sometimes he can't make
the blissed picters stick to them ould
boards at all, at all."
A Present Tor a Husband.
Furniture Dealer Yes, madam,
there is no nicer present for a man than
a handsome writing-desk. Look at this
one, for example.
Customer - It's very prettv; but
what are all those square things?
"Drawers, madam. That desk has
one hundred and sixty separate draw
ers."
"Huh! And every time he mislays
anything he'll expect me to find it.
Show me a desk with one drawer."—
New York .Weekly.,
He Got a Quarter.
Tramp—Please, sir, can you give me
a quarter? I have no place to sleep
to-night.
Policeman—Sure an' a quartlier is
it? I'll give yez quarthers, so Oi will
—quarthers in the station ye'll get
this night, an' in the mo ruin' the
judge'll give ye quarthers at the bride
well fer about six monts, fer a vug, so
lie will. Quarthers it is yo want, is
it? Well, quarthers ye'll bo a gittin',
sure. Come on, noo!— American Com
mercial Traveller.
Hever.
A young lady asked an editor this
extraordinary question: "Do you think
it right for a girl to sit on a young man's
lap, oven if she is engaged?" where
upon the editor told this extraordinary
lie: "We have had no experience in the
matter referred to." Why didn't ho
say: "If it was our girl and our lap,
yes; if it was another girl and our lap)
yes; but if it was our girl and another
fellow's lap, never! never! never!"—.
New Mississippi an.
A Case of Mistaken Identity.
A young liuly of this c itv who is en
-1 gaged to a well-known young society
1 gentleman recently made an experi
' ment to try the temper and habits of j
| her lijince which near y re ultc d in ilis
; astroiis cousctpieiUM s. .Heading her ;
i morning paper she saWftU adxertis meut |
! for a domestic. Tl.e number of the j
house was tliul of her loverV, where Io ;
kept a sort of 1 aohe.'or's 1 a 1 wi li his
father, who was a widower. It occur.vd ;
then and there to Mirs Fl to supply |
the demand. Not in peison, but by
proxy. She knew of a tidv little Ger j
man who was b iglit and engaging, and i
who wanted n place. She sent for her
and gave instructions us to wlia she was I
to se - and hear, and particularly charged
her tool s *rve how Mr. F eond :c >d
hiinelf, what he ate, a id if he was
good-tempered and easy to please.
Christine proinked t > watch everything j
and lepo -t at the end of the wo -k.
lint before the week was up the girl !
reported v/i li a'l her belongings md |
her eyes oversowing witli teais. She i
had 1 en a-k d t > bin *k M". F.'s bo ts,
lie had ordmed her about us if she were
a dog, and 1.0 wouldn't e.it anything |
but gruel, and tens!, and lie swore a
her be a :se she forgot to wash oft' the |
front steps. T.ieu Miss H. sat down <
and wrote to lier lover:
"You uie a brute. No man who was ;
not a brute would as't a won an
to black bis boots and s. x ear at her for !
a moment's forgetfulm s-. I consider
that I have ha I a narrow s mpe."
Thoie was a frant o man went tearing i
up the avenue that evcuii g and rcshod
into the presence of Miss H. lut i! was j
some time before I o ou'd make li run '
derstaml the truth of the matter or tint'
lie was not that manner of m n. Tie
girl had not seen him at nil, In.t hi d
been employed by his dyspeptic old j
father whom she kit. w solely : s Mr.
F. It was limply a ens * of mis aktnj
identity. | Detroit Free Press.
A Cottin for a Live Man.
A certain manager of a large prodtu e !
concern, whom wo will call Dick, wliich,
by the way, is not I is proper name, at
tended an all niglit Party at New Mil
ford one evening. He got home the
next morning, and, he being very sleepy,
went to his room. He was very soon in ■
sound slumber, i-o deep that neither his 1
bookeep r nor salesman could nrous ■ j
him. They made arrangements with
ail in.dn taker for a chi a o ifiin to be!
sent t > Dick's home, a .d that the < eop i
sleeper should be dressed and placed in I
it. The intention was to astonish the;
manager with his sunouudings whin '
he awoke. The mob rtiker s helper, j
who is a stiangt r n Dani.u y, was dele- j
gated with the work, and was on lor j
the impression that it was a corpse that I
was fc.i be stretch(d. Arriving at the;
bo.ud ng house, lie inquired, as told,
for Dick's room. The astonished ser-!
vautgirl allowed the man of coffins mid j
caskets the desire t apartment. There
was the supposed corpse on the lied ! ]
with his buck to the undertaker. Now, ;
the coffin in question was one of the !
cheat est kind, ami the young man liat- j 1
urally supposed that the dead man wai '
without friends or kin, or that it wa> a
charity < ase. Heguxo the slumbering ! 1
corpse a pull on his back so roughly fli.it j \
Dick opened his eyes in astonishment i
and roared oat: "What the deuce aie \
you doing here? "The opened eyes and (
the awful roar were to much for the j
niule-. taker. With a cry he fled from i
the room, jumped on his team and drove ! !
back to the undertaker's establishment
in hot haste. Arriving at the store he I
rushed breathlessly into the office and ;
barely gasp d out : "The dead man ] J
has o m;e to life and sworn at met"; !
—f Dan bury News. j ,
How and When to Drink Water. 1 J
According to Dr. Leuf, when wa or!
is tiken into the full or partly full ; >
stomach, it does not mingle with the i
foul, a, we are taught, but passi s along ]
quickly belween the ft.ol and lesser),
curvativo toward the pylorus, through ;
which it i a ses into the intestiues. The
secret.on of mucus by the lining mem- j ,
brane is constant, and during the night I i
a consideiable amount accmiiiilat s in 1 ,
the stomach.; some of its liquid portion I
is absorbed, and that which remains is]
thick and tenacious. If food is taken I
into the stomach when in this condition j
it be duos coated with this mu us, and
the so iel ion of the gastric juice and its
Action are delayed. These facts show
t';e value of a goblet of water before
bvakf.s!;. This washes out the le a
o'ons mucus, an 1 simulates the gastr e j
g ads t> s 'cretion. In old and if oble .
Cj sons water should not bo taken c dd, !
it it may be with great advantage |
taken warm or hot. This removal of
tie a cumulated mucus from the s'om- j
acli is probably one of the reasons why i
t iking soup at the beginning of a meal '
his been found so beneficial.
Curious Eatables.
Among the other ou nous things con j
sunn d by the Chinese are shark tins and
salt d ducks. Ducks are sulttd and i
dried as we dry b f, and yo i w ill flud ,
salted dm k-and g. eseeverywhere. The
Cliim s are very fond of pumpkin feed
and water melon ied. and a' their big'
dinners they o'tm have these beside
each pla'o for their guests lo nibble at
betwetnthe courses. Colonel Donhy,
our minister to China, described a din
ner to me at which the:e were sixty
oonr.es, and dinners of 100 courses a e
not. unknown. In looking over a Chi
nese bill f fare, s iys Fiank Carpenter,
r see many appetizing tid-liitx. Heie,
for instance, is a course of ducks' liver,
one of the fried in o!'s of the mouths of
pigs, nnoMi r of the cookc d webbe l-f< et j
of drcks, a tliiid of fish fins, and a
fourth of pigo; n eggs.
Tonrlete,
Whether on pleasure bentor business, should
take on every trip u bottle of Syrup of Flics, an j
it acts most pleasantly and effectually on the
kidneys, liver and Ixiwcls, preventing fevers,
headaches and other tonus of sickness. For '
sale in 50c. and $1 bottles by all leading drug
gists.
—Speak aH vou think, he what you are, pay
your debts or all kinds.
Cold Waves
Are predicted with reliable accuracy and people
liable to the pains aud aches of rheumatism dread
every change to dump or stormy weather. Although
we do not claim Hood's Sarsapnrllla to be a positive
hpeelflc for rbeumntism, the remarkable* cures It
bus effected sbow that It may bo taken for rheumu- 1
tism with reasonable certulnty or beneltt. Its ac
tion lu neutralising the acidity of the blooJ, which
is the cause of rlieumat sm, constitutes the secret J
of the success of Hood's Sareaparllla lu curlug this >
complaint. If you suffer front rheumatism, give )
Hood's Sarsuparilla a fair trial; wo believe It will (
do you good.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $3. Prepared ouly j
by C. I. HOOD & CO., Apothecurles, LoweU, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar I
Barn um on Humbug.
About thirty-five years ago P. T. TJar
uii'ii undi rtook to (h liver a lecture ut
Oxford, England, before an audience
ccmpos 'il chiefly of under-gitidiiat'B.
| TJ:o subje.'t was "Humbug,' and the
i citi/.; lis were so unruly that Mr. Burniun
j wa-t unable t > obtain a hearing. At
I length there was a lull, and the speaker,
] sei ing the opportunity, shouted aloud:
"Then you don't want to hear anything
about humbug i'' "We don't!" w. s
j the iuime I ate reply. Mr. Bantu in
i gazed st a lily at his audience for a min
ute, a id then remarked: "Well, 1 have
I got your money, aud there is 110 liu'ii
| Imgabt ut thai This statement w s
jre eivetlx iihgre.itapplau.se, and Mr.
] I'a lium was allowed to deliver his lec
ture witho. t further interruption.
'• Why need it be?" ws say, and sigh
When loving mothers fade and die,
And leave the lilt o ones whose feet
Tlioy hoped to guide in pathway*sweet.
It need not bo in many cases. All about U9
1 women are dying daily whoso lives might have
1 It -on aved. It seoiu to bo u wid '-spread opin
io i that when u woman is slowly fading away
I > i ll tho > isoasos which grow out of iumalo
< aknosse- ami irregularities that there is no
I. • p for her. She is doomed t> dcats. Hut
! 11ih i - not true. l)r. Pioroo's Fuvorito Pro-
I •oi'iptioi is constantly restoring women uf-
II.0te:l with di cases of this class to health un.l
; happiness. It is the only med clue for their
ail meats, s ld ly druggists, under a uusitiir.
j nil mintee from the manufacturer* of lUglv
! iag satisfaction in every case, or money paid
• for it will be icfuuded.
Dr. Pierco'.i Pel'e'.s. the original aud only
j genuine Little Liver Pills; cents a vial; ,a;
—True grandeur does not. consist in tlio
I posspssion tint in ilie use of humble means;
I lor new horn infants frequently inherit their
inilter's kingdoms and empires.
I The saving m clothing where bobbins sEI c
i trie Soap is used, i. tiernty time* the soap bill.
It is no new cxp l i nolil, but lias been sold loi
styeais. To-day jusl as pure us in leOo. Try
! it. Vour grocer has it r will order AL
I —A light supper, a good night's sleep nnd
I :i fine morning, have mudea hero of the same
j tnnn who. by indigestion, n restless night
iiud n rainy morning, would huve proved a
DenfiiCMa C'nn'i |c Cured
ljy local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There is only
one way t cure Deafness, and that is by con-
I s titutional remedies. Deafness is caused by
uu i llamed condition of the mucous lining of
the Eustachian Tube. When this tub • gets in
named \ouhuve a rumh ing sound or imper
lect hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deufness i tiie result, nnd unless the inflam
mation can bo tuken out. and this tube i estored
1 to its normal condition, hearing will be dc-
I stroyed forever; nine cases out of tn are
caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an in
flamed condition of I lie mucous surfaces.
We will give Due Hundred D.-liars for any
case of Deafness (caused by Catarrh) that we
i cannot, cure by taking Hall's Catarrh Cure.
: -Send forcir- ula s, tree.
F. J. Ciiknky ,Vr CO, Toledo, O.
J idsT Sold by Druggists, 760.
At the annual stud sheep Hales at Mel-
I ourne, 43,675 was pad foe a si ugh.' ram, and
$-,750 for a Bcoue sheep.
Oregon, (lie PnruiltMe or Fnrmpr.
Mild, eqnatile cllraat •,certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass and stock coun
try In the world. Full information froe. Ad-
Iress Oregon Im'igrat'n Board, Portlaad. Ore.
Vanity is a strange passion; rather than
be out of a job it will brag of its vices.
A Pocket Cigar Cass and five of "Tansill's 1
Punch," all for 25c.
—One may he better than his reputation or
his conduct, but never better than his princi
ples.
Mario Rose, W. T. Carleton, Laura Hellenl 1
and many moro prominent artl-ts, clergymen 1
and public speakers use and reccommend a* 1
the very best remedy for hoarseness or irrita- 1
liou of the throat and brightening the voice,
the Bronchial Wafers mode by J. F. Hayes, ,
cn- mlst, Philadelphia. Price tweuty-tive cents
per box. Post paid.
lt. is seldom that wo And out how great '
are our resources until we are thrown upon
A Family (Withering.
Have you a father? Have you a mother?
Have you a son or daughter, sister or a brother
who lias not yet taken Kemp's Balsam for tlie
Throat anil Lungs, the guaranteed remedy for
the cure of Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Croup and
all Throat and Lung troubles? If so, why?
when a sample bottle is gladly given to you
free by any druggist and tho large siM costs i
< ulv 50 and $1
The French ut my officers arc now a'l armed
with in vol vers ; during the war of 1870 thoy
had none.
II aflli' ti'il uilli mri- . >•!* u.no Dr. laaac Thump
ton's Eyo Water- Diukvlhlh m-11 'Jftc. per bettio
—The Comte de Paris, being an exile, wrk
unable to attend tho funeral of the King of
Portugal. Ut ,
FiIDM PTIVan
RHEUMATISM.
For 20 Years. •
Pilot Knob, Mo., September 3,1888.
I suffered with chronic rheumatism in my !
knees and ankles for twenty years and had to i
Use crutches. 1 was treated at limes by several i
doctors, but was Anally cured by St. Jacobs
Oil. Have had no return of pain in three '
yean. HENRY P. TRAVERS.
At Druggists and Dealers.
THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO.. Baltimore. Md.
Ely Cream Balm y
In tho best remedy for children
wCatarbWl
suffering from H£PLDinH£^ u J
COLD IN
CATARRH,
Apply Balm into each nostril
1 ELY BROS-. 60 Warren St., N. Y
IF VOL WANT A WlltK MAT you want
I tho II EHT, which moan* a "IIA HTM A N."
Don tbo befotftfed by eoinimeisoii, but buy (ho
te I'A NII AJt l> luHtoad of_articlo . yoiuparod,
SHORTHAND
beudro.* cir-Mhir. U. S. Co. si. i-oaJ]
1000,000^111111
-1 N. S.wuUkU it.. PallaioluhU. Aumt t\ Aula*.
linur -TI'IIY. Book-keej'imr. ButnM >oriut
U-JmL P,-!iniHi)abiii. Arilhinctta, short-hand, etc.,
2A I v tr SsS!as: #!%
PI E N SIO N
"a S ,^R?„ E c?p B a%y)!^n r e o r¥ ! R U p t ., 0 „? 1 o^ l | , J^.-
II vrs in last war, 15 utljiulieatiug claims, att v since
FRAZER 6^-S |
IN TIIE WORLD Ulltßgfc
tw Oet Die Oeuulun. Sold Bti mhere.
JONES
jfjf Iron Lver Stoel Beerlnffi, lirau
Jjffitfkkvg?- L Tare beam ami Beam Bo* for
860.
!Vt>hNT. y* Ererr Im Scale. For free pr.weHal
\ jSIWrJ mcation this pa|M-r and editress
JONES OF BINGHAMTON,
9 111 Nh II 4MTON, N. Y.
[ITME WONDERFUL (
LUBURGVCHAIR.I^^^J^IJ
ft/r^ COMBINING S ARTIC LES)S.
I Tlu
end ship 'irood9 V to } FRE E
Kid for on dellTery. ILdl WDIII TUiIU
nd stamp for OeU- ISL" W--.
I loruo. Aume tj'HxU A-I***
I Ltuino MF. CO.. 14ft BLStk Si. rlaul^Lie.
THE FASTEST TIME ON RECORD,
in the direction of the nearest drug-store, is not too fast for a person to make
who is troubled witli any of the myriad forms of disease resulting from a torpid
or deranged liver and its attendant impure blood, and is. therefore, d ?
that world-famed and only guaranteed blood-purilier and liver invigora
as Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. Every form of Scrofulou
Scalp Disease, Eczema, Erysipelas, Salt-rheum,"Tetter, scaly, crusty •*, ,
burning anil tormenting forms of skill disease, are cured by this v.
remedy as if by magic. Sold by druggists, under a positive guarnnt eof i••■in t'
or cure, or money refunded. All Scrofulous affections, as I'Y.ver-s Whit.
Swellings, Hip-joint Disease, Old Sores and Ulcers, yield to its wonderful cm
tive properties. It promptly conquers Indigestion and Dyspepsia. It is a con
centrated vegetable fluid extract. Dose small and pleasant to taste. Contains
no alcohol, don't inebriate or manufacture topers ; is free from syrup or sugar,
and, therefore, don't sour or ferment in the stomach, interfering with digestion ;
as peculiar in its wonderful curative effects as in its composition. There is no
other medicine at all like it, either in composition or effect. Therefore, don't be
fooled Into accepting something instead, said to be "just as good.'' If substitutes
are "just as good," why don't their vendors guarantee them to do what they are
recommended to, or refund money paid for them, as we do with all who buy
"Golden Medical Discovery?" For the very good reason that such a plan of
sale would bankrupt the manufacturers of any but an extraordinary remedy like
the "Discovery." To purify the blood, invigorate the liver, promote digestion,
and build up both flesh and strength, it is unequalod, whether for adults or
children. WORLD'S DISPENSARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Proprietors, No. 003
Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
for an incurable case of
"V- MwrwifcWA.mmmbwu -i Catarrh in the Head by
my the proprietors of DR. SAGE S CATARRH REMEDY*
KT / SYMPTOMS OF CATAKISII.—Headache, obstruction of nose, discharges
fi/ fftlliiiK into throat, sometimes profuse, watery, and acrid, at others, thick.
ff i tenacious, mucous, purulent, bloody, putrid an-1 offensive; eyes weak ring-
EWa Jjf inn in ears, deafness; offensive breath; smell and taste impaired, and iren
erai debility. Only a few of these symptoms likely to be present at once.
JJr. Sage's Kemedy cures the worst oases, only GO cents. Sold by druggists, everywhere
GRATEFUL—COMFORTING*.
EPPS'S MM
BREAKFAST.
"By a thorough kuovlodgo of tho natural laws
widen governth operations of digestion and nutri
tion, and by a careful application of the fine proper- i
tics of well-selected Cocoa, Mr. Kpns bar. provided i
our breakfast tables with u delicately flavoured bcv- i
eruge which mav save us many heavy doctors' hi Is. '
It Is by the judicious use of Mich articles of diet [
that a constitution may be gradually built up untd j
strong enough to resist every tendency to disease.
Hundreds of subtle maladies are floating around us
ready to attack wherever there Is a weak point.
We may escape many a fatal shaft by keeping our .
selves well fortified with pure blood titul a properly
nourished frame."— I "Cien Service Gazette.
Made simply with boiling water or milk. Sold
only In half-p>und tin , by Urocors, labelled thus:
J V >1 US Errs & CO., Homoeopathic Chemists,
London, Esui.and.
DCNQinUC §e™ton
rCWOIUiIO filial
oTjOMEril It. II L NTKit, ATTO It NK V. I
W'ASII I \(TOX. I). C. i
Hof
If you aro thinking of buibllngn houso you ought
to buy tho new book, Pnlllw'H American Arch
il eeniro, or overy man a complete builder,prepared i
by Palllser, Palliser & Co.,the weilknown architects.
Thoro la not a Builder or any ono Intending to
build or otherwiso interested that can afiord to bo
withoutit. It is a practical work and everybody buys
it. Tho best, cheapest and most Popular work ever
issued ou Building. Nearly four hundred drawings.
A $& book iu size and style, but we have determined to
make it meet the popular demand, to suit the times,
go that it cau bo easily reached by all. ....
This book contains I<4 pages llxll inches in si 7.0,
gnd consists of large 9x12 ilate pages, giving plaus.
elevations, perspective views. descriptions, owners'
names, actual cost of construction, no iriteNH work,
and instructions llntv to Build 70 I "oltoges, N lllaa,
Double Houses, Brick Block Houses, suitable for
city suburbs, town and country, houses for tho farm
and workingiuen'M homes for nil s-etions of the
country, and eostlngfrom ftttOtofi,H)c>: alsoßarns.
Htubles, School House, Town Hall. Churches and
Other public buildings, together with sneeifications,
form of contract, and a largo amount of information
on tho erection of buildings, selection of Bite, em
ployment of Architects, ft is Worth $5 to any ono,
but wo will send it in paper cover by mail, postpaid,
on reoeipt <,f fi.no; bound in cloth #2.no.
AItCHITEcr CO., |ft Vandewator Ht., New \ork.
* Qf"iloution This I'apcr.^iiJ
to use. Cheapest. Relief is immediate. A cuio is f§9
HH to the nostrils. Price, BOc. Sold by druggists or scut Kfiffli
831 hy mail. Address, &T. Jla/bltlm:, Wan en, Pa. ffssa
The -;- Xiafesf Craze I
M UNCLE SAM s
PATENT APrTJET) FOB.
Whoever gives the triu scientific explanatit nof this phenomenon will )en public benefactor
10 Cents. 6BT j lIQ CBDIS.
WANT£D-The Biggest Blower 111 the Country.
We have a letter of acknowledgment on this marvelous n untitle toy from the JvmchMvb
Mansion, Washington, I). C.
ttaTMAILED TO ANY ADDRESS ON RECEIPT OF 15 CENTS T.ilwal disc.mut ta
tlio trade. PARAGON CO., 15 Vandewntcr Si-rcet, New York City.
I . ... ..... . _...,
A UTO W\ ATcjT l !
RF.VGLVER.^^ 10 ®
Unequalled for Symmetry, Beauty, Ma
lertal, and Workmanship With Safety
Catch, impossible to throw barrel open when dis
charged. New l atent. 38 calibre, using: S. A
W. f, F. Cartrlilgo. J>o not buy until you bare
examined this If you buy a genuine Swift
Iloublo-Action llevolver, you arc sure to
have as perfect a Pistol iim can bo made-
Sent post p.(bl on receipt of price. Send lie.
in stamps for our JOO page illustrated catalogue of
' Guns, Hints. Revolvers. Police Goods, etc.
John I*. Lovell Arms Co.. Ml'rs., Boston. Mass.
fltftßlllkA HABIT. Only Certain and
fll&*Elßl¥3 cosy (IKK in the World Dr.
II53 J. K. STEPHENS, Lebanon.o
DETECTIVES
I Wanted hrewd men to act under Inatniotlact In Secret Servloe
. worX.fi Representative* receive Uio ldtarnaUeaal Dew-tire,
lirann-n - Warning Againat Vraud. Oranoaa'a Pocket Qallcry Ol
Noted Criminal*. Thoac interested in ileteetlvo Suatnaaa, cr dtlylr
| alb J.U A .SNA A DhTKCTI V t BLKIUL CO. A cinrlaaali. 0.
NORTHERN PACIFIC.
Syj LOW PRICE RAILROAD LANDS &
FREE Government LANDS.
.Mll, DIONS (>r AC'ICES In Minnesota, North
i bukola, Montana, bluho, Washington and Oregon.
PrLtn CfiD publications with maps describing ths
I rUfl best Agricultural, Grating and Tim
ber I.amis now open to Settlers. Scni free. Address
I CHAS. B. LhMSORN, 'Su'eSwiuSr
g pmciTDo and fully •.
11 T'n "Pacific for the certain cure
jHHbnsrulMd not uCffl u . U. IN Bit A 'lf AM, M. D. t
flßg Amsterdam, N. Y.
Ksj Jlf d only Ly tfco Wo have sold Big G for
l&MmiCbtßlMlOa. ma , nv >'*. and It baa
wBII fm. . .*- r yrct' l f'von the best of satis*
Otnolnnstl.WM faction.
VOk Ohio. jWyA D. 11. DYCHK A CO..
& TO Chicago, 111.
Tra< s4 sSQ^.4^y. l rY V SI.OO. Bold by Druggist*.
AFTER ALL OTHERS FAIL CONSULT
BR. LOBE
JI'JK North Fifteenth St,, Philadelphia, Pa., for
Iho treat mcnt of Blood Poisons, Skin Eruptions
Nervous Complaiuts, Bright's Disease, Strictures.
Impoteucy and kindred diseases, no matter of bow
long standing or front what cause originating
days' medicines furnished by mail rnrr
guild for Book on SPECIAL DinrnaeH. rlitt.