TLLEE. BT c. LOWITKR. Once on & THM— true stories begin bo— Hundreds <>/ vrs back, when you and I Lived as ujonkeyß in Africa's tree tops bigb, Before tkw folks bad learned to sin so, Tbe people of China to gruwblo began, Because tboir emperor was a singly man ; Haiti tlu-y, "Hoe hero, sir, Wo greatly foar, sir. When you're beheaded there'll be no heir near, We advise you to marry as soon aB you can, Tho emperor was in despair; Ho wanted to marrv. but didn't know where In the whole extent of t he flowery laud Was a maiden worthy tho gift of his baud. There were beautiful maids by scores at his Hut ho wanted one that would love him alone; One that, for love of his smile so sweet. Would be flesh of his flesh and bone oi his bone. "Such a ouo 1 shall never find,} tut here he was struck by a bright idea. Just at this time, in the city of Pekin Lived little Ellee, a maid so fair, Through all the land you might go seeking, In city or country, anywhere, And never see her onual m beauty. What a splendid wide mouth 1 She could make a drouth Of tea in that land where tea pays no duty. And her hair us black Asa negro's back, "Down her nock'' in the latest fashion, And held by the buckle that kept her saab on. But tlio crowning glory of little Ellee Was her dainty feet; you never see Such small ones here, where maidens fa IT Actually walk -they never do there, Hut bandage and press thern And pot and caress them ; And you may be sure, when It's all been done Such feet are certainly No. 1. As you may suppose Such beautiful toes Brought little Klleoan abundance of beaus; KJch and poor aud of every station Found in that stationary nation. Hut she gave them all to understand Hv a violent move of her dainty foot. That they could have that in place of her hand, Which didn't seem the suitors to suit. But no tender maiden such as Ellee Fan remain in this world long fancy free; The hardest heart like wax will melt, If brought where tho flame of love is felt. There came a time when there came a uiau Ah lovely as was Ellee herself ; Five foot loug was his cue, if an ell- Anil his clothes were such as showed right well He was a man with pelf. iIo sent /our gifts his suit to aid; A pair of chopsticks, silver and gold, A little puppy, six months old— Ab 1 he knew the tender heart of a maid A gilded kite, with Ave balls of string, And a gong that took two men to ring. Hhe ate the dog with the chopsticks gay, She flow tho kite that very day it broke tho string and got away— And she rang the gong till it roused the town. And all the lire-engines came down. This was t he way he courted Ellee • Tho marriage came oft in the month of May; I can't tell how lovely and bright was she, Nor how very happy aud gay was he; But just three months from the bridal day, Where do you think ho took her, say? Illglit to the ltoyal Palace gate, And the Emperor bad found a mate. Happy was he, in his regal state, And happy was she, though rich and great, For where true hearts together are bound, There will happiness ever he found. PLUM CITY, Wis. PROFITABLE SOLILOQUY BY DWIGHT BALDWIN. fHY do you talk to yourself so much, father?" "For two reasons, Bessie." "Number one?" "1 like to talk to a sensible man." "Number two?" "I like to hear a sensible man talk." "Good! good!" cried Fred Faxon, clapping his hands and laughing heart ily. "I ilon't know that it's gooil." said Farmer Eben Hayes, "but it has tbe merit of bein' the Lord's truth!" "And that's everything, father," said his petite and pretty daughter, as she seized him round the neck and gave him a ling that brought a quick Itush to the face of both men pnin produc ing it with the elder, envy with the younger. Hayes Hollow, as the farm had been called for three generations, was the finest and most productive of all in the beautiful valley, aud its owner was considered a wealthy man, being rated much as a millionaire is in a large city. Bessie was his only child aud the prospective heiress not only of the toriu and its appurtenances but, as many believed, of a good ileal of wealth which was invested in other ways. Fred Faxon was a young man who for two years had been reading law in the city twenty miles away, and was soon to be admitted to the bar. He had met Bessie llayes the pre ceding summer while spending a vaca tion in the valley. The decided mutual attraction between the two had been increased by subsequent meetings and no end of letters, until it had reached the stage w here tho word "love" could alone express the situation. Mr. Hayes had been much pleased with the young man, and at the request of pretty Bessie, who generally carried her iKiiiit, had invited him lo s'peud his week's vacation at tho Hollow. It had been a happy time to the lovers—those little seven days; but they had ilown by all too quickly, and the train that was to bear the pros pective lawyer away from fields of wheat, drifting in waves of silver to ward the harvest, to tho city, with its dust, and grime, and wickedness, xvould he duo within an hour. "I must run across and sav good-by to tbo Turners," remarked Fred, look ing through tho open door to a farm house on tho opposite sido of the broad country road. " Wait a moment, and I'll go with you." "No, daughter, let him go alone. I must hitch up to take him to the depot, and want a word with you first." "What is it?" asked Bess, just a lit tle petulantly, when Fred had started on his errand. Don t invite him here again " "Who?" "Fred—Mr. Faxon, I Hliould say " "You don't mean " Words failed the little maiden, but her wide-open eyes supplied the deficit and expressed the most unfeigned as tonishment. "I do, daughtor, just that," "But you've spoken so highly of him all Rlong—and besides " Again words failed the girl, but this time tears glistened in her blue eyes, uiul completed the sentence. "I'm sorry, Bessie, truly sorry, hul I think it's for the best." "Nothing can be for tho best thai separates us for lifo. What have you against Mr. Faxon?" "I accuse him of no erimo, but Ifeai tliat be is unworthy of you." "Oh, father! Home one besides that gensibleman of whom yon were just speaking has been talking to you about liim. A false suspicion never origin ated ill your honest old heart." "Well, I won't deny—never mind that now." Mr. Hayes paused to remove her pleading white arms from his neck. "Oh, father!" faltered she, the tears once more welling up into her eyes. "Well, then," spoke up the farmer, who evidently felt himself to be weak ening," we'll let the matter rest as it is, aud if you're not satisfied within six mouths—yes, six weeks that he's un worthy of you. then matters can hum along, ami L won't say a word, uui nothing of this to him. Mind that." Three minutes later tho farmer was harnessing a horse. "I wish I had my life insured, for if they close down on me it 'll kill me, an' Bess 11 be left without a nickel." Eben Hayes was indulging in his old habit of talking to himself as he buckled the harness-strap. As ho made this remark, Fred Faxon entered the horse-barn. It seemed strange that the sound caused by the opening of the door, and F- - "GOOD I GOOD 1" CRIED FRED FAXON. the sunlight it admitted, did not at tract the farmer's attention. He must have been deeply engrossed in his own thoughts, for he continued his solil oquy: "Who'd have thought that wheat would go ten cents higher, when there's goiu' to be a full crop—at least about here? I s'iose it's short other places, though I was a fool to borrow that last $5,000 to try and save the other fifteen. What'll folks say when ! the notes come due in two months, an' i old Eben Hayes is closed out? Jeff Wheelerll be glad, so'll Sol Smith an' Dick Stall smith, but I reckon Bill Barr 'll be a little grain sorry, 'cause he won't be able to borrow any more money off me. I guess its a feelin' that Parson Lake wouldn't indorse, but 1 do wish that this city fellow would marry Bess, or get engaged to her, at least, before we have to move out of the Hollow, where she was born, aud I before her." Fred Faxon heard something which sounded very like a sob, and then stole noiselessly from the barn and rejoined Bessie, whom he had left in the grape arbor near by. A week later, when the farmer re turned home from the wheat-field, where he had been assisting his men in the glorious work of harvesting, he was astonished to find Fred Faxon seated with his daughter upon the vine shadowed porch. "Didn't reckon on seeing you to-day," said the farmer when the first saluta tions were over. At the same time ho stole a glance at the fair face of his daughter, which seemed an embodiment of happiness aiid content. "I've been admitted to practice." "Oh! Glad to hear it." "And the city courts not being in session " "Don't be silly!" interruptedBessie, blushing like a peony. "I'd like to speak with you in pri vate, Mr. Hayes." "No need of it. My daughter aud I have no secrets from each other." "Well, she has promised, subject to your approval of course, to become my wife." "Even that was no secret. I readmit in her eyes the minute I turned the corner." "And you consent?" "I s'pose I'll have to." "Wheat took an awful drop this week, sir." "1 hadn't heard of it." "The European war didn't material ize and reports from the Northwest came in much more favorable, and it dropped twenty cents." "That beats me." "It didn't me. I never mentioned the fact to you, but I have $30,000 w "DON'T INVITE UIM lIKIIK AOAIN." which I inherited from my father throe years ago. I was sure it would take a tumble, and sold a hundred thousand bushels." "And have closed it out?" "At a prolit of twenty thousand. Now, I want to ask you a question," "Fire away." ! "What'll you take for Ilayes Hoi low ?" i "You don't mean " j "That I want to buy it for a wed -1 ding present to Bessie. Not to freeze 'jou out. but just " "Because you're one of the whitest bovs alive. You can't do it, sir!" "But, Mr. Hayes, I " "You can't steal my thunder that way. I'm going to give it to her my self!" 44 But T heard " "What?" l hat you were embarrassed and on the brink of failure. In fact, it was the information that you had lost everything, through the recent boom in wheat, that induced me to sell the same commodity." "There ain't a word of truth initl I never speculated in my life!" "But I heard- " "A pack of lios! I'm worth $15,000 over and above this farm, and don't owe a cent in the world!" "Then I must have been dreaming?" "No, but you placed too much re liance in the idle talk of an old fellow who likes to speculate in his mind, and who thinks it no sin to suppose a case for his own amusement." "And you're satisfied that Fred wasn't after Hayes Hollow?" queried Bessie. "Entirely I don't believe that John will remember about those calves. He's getting awfully forgetful." Thus soliloquizing, Mr. Ilayes walked 1 discreetly awav. leaving the happy ' lovers in sole possession of the vlne- I protected porcli. JosH Hillings' Philosophy. The man who kant find enuything to do in this world iz az bad oph az a I yearling lieffer. Thare iz no pasliun ov the human heart that promises so miudi and pays I so little az revenge. Tliare liaint 110 man yet lived long enuff in this world tew doubt the in fallibility ov hiz judgement. Thare iz this odds between a humor ous lekter and a scientiifick one —yu hav got to understand the humorous lekter tew enjoy it, but you kau enjoy the scientiffick one without understand | ing it. It iz but a step from zeal tew bigotry, but it iz a step that iz most generally taken. Don't lay enny certain plans for tho I fewter; it iz like planting tuds, and expektiug to raizo tudstools. No man yet who had strength ov mind enuff ever resorted tew cunning. Cunning iz haff brother tew fear, and they aro both ov them weakness. Natur once in a while makes a phool; but, az a general thing, phools, like garments, are made tew order. A man who iz good company for him self iz alwus good company for others. Genuine praize consists in naming a man's faultz to hiz face, and hiz good qualities tew hiz back. One ov the best temporary cures for pride and affektashun that I have ever seen tried iz sea-sickness; a man who wants tew vomit never puts on airs. A fault concealed iz but little better than one indulged in. Witty speeches are like throwing stones at a target—the more time spent in taking aim, the less danger thare iz in hitting the mark. I have alwus noticed one thing, when I a pei son bekums disgusted with this 1 world, and konkludes to withdraw from i it, tho world very kindly lets the per son went. Woman liaz no friendships. She j either loves, despises, or hates. A day in the life ov an old man iz | like ono ov the last days in the fall ov the year—every hour brings a change iu the weather. I love tew see an old person joyfull, but not kickuptlielieelsfnll. A coquette in love iz just about az tame az a bottle of ginger pop that haz stood sum time with the cork pulled out.— New York Weekly. Miss Caldwell's Love Grown Cold. A young lady who is visiting here, and who is a very intimate friend ol Miss Mary Gwendolin Caldwell, lias jus*' received a letter from the young heiress, whose engagement to Friuct Murat has attained so much notoriety Miss Caldwell writes to lier friend thai the formal betrothal has been indefi nitely postponed on account of an un written law of the French and Italian aristocracy, which requires the con tracting parties to produce, at theii betrothal, tho baptismal certificates ol their parents and grandparents. That Miss Caldwell is unable to do, as there is no record of her grandmother's bap tism, and a hitch in the proceedings is the result. Miss Caldwell intimates that she would not care at all if the wedding should not lake place. Miss Caldwell's friend thinks that if the whole thing falls through it will not be tho fault of the bridegroom nor ol the laws of aristocracy, but of the fair fiance herself. This is not the first time Miss Caldwell has promised her hand in marriage and has reconsidered her action after the engagement had been made public. She was engaged to an Italian prince about three years ago, and the match was considered the best to be made in Europe, but, like several others before, it was broken off by the young lady. Miss Caldwell's first love was a young lawyer of this city, but the engagement was objected to. Ho lias since married. In a former letter Miss Caldwell said: "You may be sure that I always intend to be my own financier. I am willing to allow any husband 1 may have a sufficient income to enable him to dress well and pay his club dues, but he will never Lave the management of a cent, of my principal." "Mary hus a will of her own," said our mutual friend, "and she means what she says. Perhaps Prince Murat found this out before it was too late."— Louisville PnaL Ramming Ice Floe*. No stronger vessels than those of the Dundee whalors aro built; they are from 400 to 1,000 tous displacement, have powerful, well-secured engines to resist the shook of ramming or stoppage of the propeller by ice, and are built with an eye to the easy and rapid re placement of rudder, propeller and propeller shaft if damaged, these parts being carried in duplicate. Above all other considerations, they possess strength for ramming as well as re sistance to lateral pressure when nipped. Another very important feature is that the bow shall have considerable inclination, which permits the vessel, when ramming very heavy ico, to lift slightly and slide on it, thus easing the shock und assisting tho cutting action of the bow with the downward crush ing weight of the ship. In this way it is possible for these steamers at full speed to ram ice over twenty feet thick and receive no immediate incapacitat ing damage. If tho ice is not too heavy the shear like rise and fall of the bow is repeated several times as the vessel steams powerfully ahead until her headway is checked. The difficulty then is to ex tract the ship from the dock she has cut bv her advance. The Reason- Two men, in the dining-room of a hotel, wore watching a hungry fellow who sat near them. "Waiter," said the hungry fellow," "bring me some fried percli." After he had eaten the perch he or dered a broiled bass uud, after devour ing it, said: * "Now just bring mo along any other lish that you happen to have handy." "That fellow is extremely fond of lish," said one of the men. "Not so much that he is fond of them as the fact that ho hasn't hud" any for a long time." "Ho could get them, I am sure. Tho markets are full of them." "Yes, but you see he has been beyond the reach of the markets; he has just returned from a fishing expedition." He Wanted to Know Too Much. Jack—Say, Tom, were you chris tened that name? Tom- -Of course I was. Jack—Well, what do they call you Tliom-as for on the pay sheet? Tom—Don't know; suppose for the same reason the hoys call you Jack-ass, —Rochester Budgsl, BENEATH THE STREETS. 4. SUBTERRANEAN WORLD OF MAU VELOI S INTEREST. Chicago Fairly Honeycombed with Tun* lieU, Conduit* and Sewers-Wluro Doiih of Vice Abound—How tlio Oreut "Water System Has lJeoii lluilt Up. fOT long ugo a man walking along one of tho busiest of Chicago's streets Was sud denly projected several feet into the air. This singular occurrence, accompanied us it was by a loud report, io vlved memorios of the dreadful anarchist bomb of May 4tli, 1880. and caused quite a sensation in the neighborhood. But this soon subsided when it wus discovered that tho-innn was not seriously injured, and that the explosion, had not boon occasioned by dyna mite, but by the bursting open of a "man-hole" pro duced by tho pressure of noxious gases generated In the enormous sowei below. Tho accident, which was trivaPin its re sults and excited but little comment at tho time, suggests tho subject of underground Chicago. Every one has road and murvuded at ac counts of that wonderful relic ofthe ancient world, tho catacombs of Rome. In which of old were buried tho dead of the Eternal City, and yet few. ovon among Chicago's own people, know that below tho level of her streets there is a subterranean world surpassing in intoeost the one beside the Tiber. Chicago abounds.in beautiful' buildings— "massive and tall and grand," many of these riso to a height of two hundred feet and number thirtoen stioiics and more. As tho eyo of tho visitor sweeps their extensive fronts, rich in architectural designs and ornamentations, ho forgets tho solid foun dations, reaching far into the earth, udou which tho superstructure, vast and beauti ful, is roared. The eost of tlce foundations of Chicago would suffice to build a city of no moan proportions. Hundreds of thou sands of dollars are olten expended on a slugle building before*Us granite walls rise to the level of tho sidewalk. Tho space thus reclaimed frottn the "bowels of the earth" is utilized for boilers and engines to run tho elevators and machinery for all manner of manufactories, to heat the vast structure, und furnish power to keep ulive tho electric lights in a whole block some times. Besides, mauy basements aro fitted up as elegant restaurants , salesrooms and factories, In ono of Chicago's basement rostaurants mora oysters are served during ! tho "r months" than in. :uiy other single es- i tublishment in tho world* metropolitan Now York not excepted. Twice during the sum mer just past great rains torms have over taxed the sowers and caused the wator to invade basements and cieliars, to tho great dam ago of proporty. But the space below vteiblo Chicago is not all used for the useful purposes mentioned. Many low saloons, resorts for thieves and thugs, whore all manner of dark and diabol ical crimes aro concocted, discussed and perpetrated, aro tucked away in basements secure from the observation of tho casual passer-by. It is here that the almond-eyed CeleHtlal conducts his laundry, too frequent ly but a fence or mask for an "opium joint." and tho gratification of othor vices of a still darker hue. Gambling houses of the "bet ter" sort are usually situated high up in buildings, with openings to tho roofs for egress in thoovont of an interruption in tho form of a police raid; but tho lowor sort, particularly those operated and frequented uy negroes, who aro apt. to be inveterate fjambiors, aro found in basements and col ors. These are often so conneoted with oacli otnor as to form a regular labyrinth, and render tho inmates tolerably secure from arrest. Pure water and good drainage are two of the principal requisites to the health of a city. These aro supplied to the "Garden City" by underground systems which, to gether with the gas mains tor furnishing light, fairly 'honeycomb" tho streets and justify tho caption of "Underground Chi cago." Tho water-supply system of Chicago is Unoqualod in tho world; and to such as BRICKING up TUB LAKE TUNNEL. Jh&ve seen, or may hope to soo something (of it. a brief history will not prove uninter esting. Tho first public effort in tho direction of h supply of fresh water was on Nov. 10, ,1834, when tho Board of Trustees paid $95.50 for digging a well in tho North Divis ion. We will soon see to what majestic proportions this humble beginning has (grown in a little more than half a century. , For many years water was peddled through the stroots as potatoes and bananas joro to-day. It was drawn about In hogs, (heads, on two-wheeled cats. and dolivored 'to tho good housewives at a cost of from Jlvo to ton cents per barrel, according to ftho competitions of trade. Tho hoghcadg iwere filled irom the lake with palls, and the wator was discharge 1 through a short leathern hose. Thousands of people still i living In Chicago can reinombor when this system was in voguo. In 1836 the Chicago Hydraulic Companj tf as incorporated by an act of tho Legist a* uro. The panic "which swept over the ►country tho following year rolardod the (movement, and it was not until 184U that [work was actually begun- Two years Jatcj lit was completed. Tho hydraulic system feonsisUfcd of an 18-inch inlet from the lake, [connecting with a well 15 feet-in depth; a bumping works fitted with an engine o! 25- horso power, cnpable of lifting each minute 125 barrels of water 35 feot above tho lev 1 ol jthelako; two reservoirs of u capacity ol d,253 barrels each, both of whloh could be lllli d in ono hour and forty mlnutos; and [several miles of wooden pipes, none oyer [six inches in diameter, 'this exceedingly modest system, as looked at to-day, was {spoken of by the press at tho time as a {"marvelous achievement of engineering skill." In 1850,9% miles of pipe and 1.000 by- ; tlrants were in use. but not moro than one* Iflftn of the pooplo wore ihoroby supplied twith water. i! In 1851 tho Chicago City Hydraulic Com pany was incorporated. This was done as the result of a popular vote of tho people. Bonds were issued und sold In Now Yoik, and in tho summer of 1852 work was begun at tho foot of Chicago avenue, in tho North Division. They were unable to put in a thirty-inch inlet pino to reach six hundred feot out into tho lake and were obliged to take tho wator from near the shore. Op Fob. 15, 1854. water was first introduced Into the buildings of the city. For four months water was only pumped nine hours a day, and not at nil on Bun day. except in oase of firo. In 1857 a twentv-four inch wrought-Iron main was laid to tho West Bido. and in 1858 two now resorvoirs with a cupacity of 500,000 barrels each were constructed, ono on the North and one on the West Sldo. , , , , . At first this system was fairly successful, but as tho city increased In population and extended Its limits the increasing sewage which ilowed through the sluggish river Into tho groat lake began to seriously con taminate the water, which was drawn from a point too near the shore. Not only did this causo annoyance, dlsoaso and doath. but it worked great injury to tho fair fame of tho city, vvhosp visitors denounced it for its unwholesome, bad-smelling water. Besides this, as winter approached, groat numbers of infinitesimal fishes sought tho shore, and were thence delivered, along with the water, to every household. An limproved water supply thus became ono of tho greatest topics for discussion, both by the press and tho people. All man ner of schemes wore proposed, debated, and rejected. • At length Mr. E. 8. Chos brough, tho Gity Engineer, originated tho idea of constructing a tunnol. two miles in length, beneath the hod of Lake Michigan, which would literally tan tho lake from tho bottom at that distance from the shore, and through which pure wator could bo oonveyod to the reservoir of tho oiiy. Alter a good deal of delay to soouro sanc tion from Congress and tno State Legisla ture, and perfect tho plans, the ooutraet wus let. for what was, indeed, a colossal undertaking. Un St. Patrick's Day. March 17. 1864. tho first shovelful of earth was removed amid coremonios of an interesting and impres sive character, and the great undertaking was eommonoed. Tho shore shaft was sunk on tho side of the old pumping works, at the cast end of Chicago avenue, on tho shore of tho lake. It was made about 9 feet in diameter, and 6'J feet in depth. This was lined for 26 foot with a cast-iron cylin der 9 feet in diameter and 2% inches in thickness, below tho cylinder vho lining boing of brick. With tho completion of the shaft began that nice engineering which one of the ed itors of tho London Times, then in Chi cago. declared to bo "the greatest of mod ern times." Tho point in the lake where the tunnel should terminate had been determined and murked with buoys, but tho great difficulty wus to run it in exactly tho right direction, since the magnetic needle could not be re lied upon for surveying below the surface of the lake. The only method of proooed uro was to run tho axis of tho tunnel par allel with a lino drawn over tho top of tho iu exactly the right direction. The work of tunneling was now begun in real earnest. The width of tho tunnel when bricked up was to bo five foot and its height five feet und two inches, tho top and bot tom arches being semi-oiroles. with two inches between, The Hpuce to bo excavated boing limited, but two men could work at one time; these wore frequentlv relieved, and the work kopt up night and day, with out cessation. Close behind the miners with their picks camo tho masons with their trowels. The masonry, of Illinois white brick, was eight inches in thickness, the bricks being laid lengthwise, with toothing joints to give them greater strength. In this tedious way tho workmen forced tho great bore on under tho lake, from fourteen to twenty feet being considered good progress for twenty-four hours. As fust as the masonry was completed iron rails were laid, upon which small oars wore run to remove tho clay to the shalt, where it was elevated by stoam power. At first the cars were pushed hymen, but a the bore lengthened this became too slow and laborious, and two small mules wore lowered through tho shaft and used there-1 after us the motive power. As each thousand feet was completed! chambers wore dug in which brick, mortar,l and other supplies could bo stored and carsj turned around. As has been stated, tho magnetic nocdlei cannot bo depended upon in sui voying be-i low the ground, but tho level was in coti-l stunt use. and by its means exactly th-1 proper depth was constantly maintained.! The tunnel was built with u slope of two foot to the mile in tho direction of the shore, that it might bo emptied in ease of necessity. This was done a few years ago anil tho tunnel inspected by Chief En gineer. (now Mayor) Cregier. lie found it to bo in perfect order, not a single crack or break being visible. But the most remarkable part of tho un*i dertaking was porformod at tho lake end oil tho tunnel. Ihe "crib" was constructed onshore. It is composed of hugo timbors bolted together. It is 40% feet high, inj pentagonal form, and nearly 100 foot ini diameter. It was built in three sections or walls, one within tho other, all so bolted together as to form one vast structure. At the corners it was armed with iron plates to protect it from flouting ice. or any ob ject in tho water. Computed in "board measure," over 600.000 foot of lumber was used, together with 65 tons of iron bolts and |SOO bales of oakum for cnlking. Be fore it was moved from tho stocks whore it was built SIOO,OOO had been expended upon it. On July 24. 1865, this vast structure was launched, and amid great excitement towed' out to tho place selected. There the com-! partmonts between the different sections were filled with stone, and the crib sunk to! tho bottom of tho lake, where it was flrmlyj secured by moans of marine moorlngi screws, here used for the first time in America. This accomplished, a shaft was sunklikei Ihe one on tho shore and the work of tun neling was begun from tho lake end of the mb-marlne bore. The entire length of the! ninnel is 10,587 feet, of which about four-; Qfths was constructed from tho shore end. POOTWAT OP LA BAI.LB STREET TUNNEL. On the 24th day of November, 1866, the twoi sections were united by cutting away tlia barrier of clay which remained and the; greut tunnel was one continuous tube fromi the shore to tho crib, two inilos away. it was bolieved that tho water supply thus provided for would be adequate for thoi needs of tho oity lor a generation at least., but so enormous wus the growth of Chica go that within six years stops wore taken; to increuso It. Early in 1872 the Board of Publio Worksl purchased ground at the intersection olj Blue Island and Ashland avenuos, about three miles south and more than two miles; west of the shore end of tho tunnel, where; they propose to erect new pumping works.' The supply of water was to be procured by! nitons of a tunnel runnlug diagonally acrosst' the city to tho foot of Chicago avonue. This second groat work was begun July 12th, 1872, and completed iu two years. The; procedure was nearly the same us the flrstj 'tunnel, and need not be described- The works consist of a tunnel seven foot In diameter and a l out four miles in length. This passes under tho city below the bed of tho river and the deepest of tho city's foun dations. Tho ground at tho Ashland avenue ipuraping works is much higher than at tho lake uud considerable power is required to draw the wutor through tho tunnel. This groat underground aqueduct draws Its supply of water irom the "orib," whose construction has been described. To ac complish this a second tunnol was con structed under the luko. and run parallel with the first, about sixty-three feet away. The now tunnel Is about seven feet wide and seven feet and two Inches high, and has a oapacity about double that of tho llrst one. At proscnt a third great tunnol is in course of construction under the waves of Lake Michigan. This was determined up on because the water now pumped from tho THE cnin. | crib is sometimes contaminated by tho ■ sewage, particularly when groat storms rage, and because it had bocomo evident that tho two North Sldo tunnels would not long supply tho demands of the rapidly growing city. Tho shore shaft is near tho Toot of Twelfth street, two miles south of Chicago avenue. It will be four miles In length nnd Is boing constructed much like the others, except that dynamite is em ployed to loosen tho clay. Up to tho present time a little more than half a mile has been constructed. For tho llrst 250 feet It is eight feet in diameter. At that distance it became necessary to fork it out Into two parallel tunnels six feet in diapictor. Tho engineers hope to bo able to unite them further on into the one eight foot bore, but there is some uncertainty about it It is expected that the entire four-mile tunuol will be completed In a year und_a ffair, atter which tno city will bo insured an ample supply of pure wator under all cir cumstances, S(x hundred and seventy-seven milos of water mains, varying in size from threo to thirty-six inches in diameter, are in use. Of sowars (hero aro 493 miles, varying in diameter from one to nine feet. Besides, tho stroots are filled with conduits for tele graph, telephone, and electric light wires, while tlio gas mains rival In extent those of th water department. There are two passenger tunnels under the Chicugo River, one at Washington street oounoctlng the South and West Bides, aui one atXafSailo stroet ooiinectuiK tuo houth ami North Hides, or divisions, of tho city. They aio triumptis of engineering, und cost in the aggregate about $1,000,000. Both of those great submarine thoroughfares have a doublo roadway for vehicles and one for pedestrians, the lattor being entirely sepa rate from the formor. They are lighted by electricity. The use of these tunnels has beon sold to and Waal Hide Street It&ilwa* CHINKBB OPIUM JOINT. T'OSlJ panics, Jno one at J.aSallo street has beon for some tim i in successful operation, and the other is now undergoing repairs and alterations and will soon bo in use. In both the motive power is a cable in connec tion with the regular "grip-car" linos. They do away with delays caused by tho opening of bridges to peimit vessels to pass, and will prove a .substantial bonotit to the peo ple. DWIGHT BALDWIN. His Honor Was Wounded. Just after the war there was a crowd of us in the billiard-room of a hotel one evening, says a New York Sun writer, and among the "touchy" South erners was a Colonel Gray of the Ten nessee troops. Ho was said to bo a duelist, a dead shot, a fearless man, and all that, and was, therefore, held in awe. Among those present was a typical Yankee who had come down to smell out cotton. He looked humble and harmless, and had been hustled around a good deal without losing his temper. By some accident iu moving about he bumped tho colonel, and the latter promptly wheeled round on him with: "Sir, you aro as clumsy as an ox." "Dou't get riled, kurnel; I didn't mean to," was the reply. It was a good time to bluff, and the colouel drew himself up and replied: "Then apologize, apologize at ouce!" "I said I didn't mean it, and I didn't, but I ain't going to crawl, you know." "Who aro you, sir?" "Well, neow, I'm Isaac Williams and who might you be ?" "You have insulted me, sir. There's my card." Williams took the pasteboard, looked it all over, slowly read the name, and returned it to the colonel with: "Hev you any cotton to sell, kurnel? If so, I'm your huckelberry." "If you have a friend, let him consult with the major here!" replied the flre eoter. Some one explained to the Yankee that he had been challenged, and he scratched his head, whistled his sur prise, and following the colonel to the bar, lie said; "See here, kurnel, I dou't want this blamed thing hanging over me nil night and disturbing my sleep. Let's have it out now." He tlshed up a Remington from his right hip | oeket, a second from his left, and handing one to the colonel, ho ad vanced his right foot, and said: "Too to toe, kurnel, and muzzle to breast. That guarantees sure work and no fooling. Somebody count live, and then we'll begin tho skirmish. My will has been made for two years, audi reckon the papers will inform Hanuei how I turned up my toes." The colonel took tho rovolver, started to advance liis foot, drew it back, turned as white as snow, and, lay ing the weapon on the bur, walked out of tile place without a word to anyone. Tho Yank had raised him out of the game. The Engaged Girl. Have you ever noticed what a differ ence there is in a girl's manner when she gets engaged to be married? She flirts as much as ever, of course, and even a little more, for it seems as though a semi-appropriated damsel lias more charms for the male flirts than those whose hearts have not capitulated. Tho difference lies in tho manner to other girls of the engaged one. Even the gentlest and nicest as sume slight airs of superiority, as though the problem of settlement in life having been settled for them, they were now competent to guide and ad vise all other young women. If the fiance ho young and handsome they are generally too much absorbed in him to pay much attention to any one else; hut if he he middle-aged and very rich they find abundance of leisure to place at the disposal of their friends. This they employ principally iu discussing their own prospects, set tling what color their liveries shall be and iu arranging the various details of their establishment. Hut a little ego tism is pardonable at sucli a time, and they are seldom so wholly occupied with their own concerns as to forget to quietly patronize their girl friends. "You must marry well, Lucy. You shall oomo and stay with me, and we will seo what can ho done." Or, "Mary, you must give up young Browne. He will not he able to give you a carriage for years and years, if ever. I shall liavo dark tan-colored liveries, picked out with crimson," etc. Thon, if anything occurs to break off th* engagement, and the girl sinks back into the ranks of the unengaged, her position is all tho more disagree able if she has put on a lot of style during her betrothal. But, perhaps, the girl who is slavishly in love with her fiance is tho greatest bore of all. "Has not Edmund glorious eyes? Have you ever looked deep into them ? Have you ever noticed the way his hair curls just above his ears?" Or; "Is not my George's voice charming ? So musical and well-bred ?" One gets very tired of this kind of thing. We have had an engaged girl staying here for the last week, and, though we have never seen her young man, we all de test his very name, so incessantly does slio chatter about him. "My Archie" is dinned into our ears all day long. I should often like to hit that girl.— London Jl'rutli. Do I'eoplc Bite When They Love I Bobhv Crash (six years old) Papa, do people bite when thoy lovo each other ? Papa Crash—No, my child. But why do you ask: Bobby—Why, when Mr. Wliitechok er, the preacher, was here the other duy he said The Bible says wo must love one another.' Then ma sat on his knee and he hit her in the mouth, and she bit him in tho mouth more'u forty timos.— Des Moines (Jraj/liic. SPARKS OF WIT. PUT up or shut up—Umbrellas. "A CHARGE to keep I have," is tho song of grand-jurymen. HE: "Will you be my wife?" She: "No; but I'll be your cook." THE orator who eloquent was arrested for assault and battery. THE court house is not neoessarily a sad place because so many plaintiff stories are heard there. A SIGN on an Eighth avenue liquor store reads: "Family Liquor Ware house." Family liquors wear houses all out. How IT worked: Carper—So you've been trying the faith cure? Harper— Yes. Carper—Cure you? Harper—Yes —of my faith. "You seem at home here," remarked a man at the postofiice to the post master. "Yes," replied the latter, "this is my stamping ground." SOME men are called sagacious merely on account of their avarice; whereas, a child can clench its fist the moment it is born. POWER and liberty are like heat anc moisture; where they are well mixec everything prospers, where they art single they are destructive. THOMPSON (proudly)— Robinson, yoi see that gun ? My wife killed a beai with that once. Robinson— Ah, indeed What was she shooting at? "MARRIAGES are made in heaven," quoth Miss Antique. "Then there ii some chance for you yet," was th< cruel response of her young sister. MINKS— -Were you away last sum mer? Winks—Yes, off about a montl at a summer resort. "How did you spent the time?" 44 Waiting for it to stop rain ing." TEACHER —-The peacock has eyes in its tail. Boy—l suppose it can alway find a seat, but it must be ex pensive for eye-glasses if the beast ii near-sighted. SERVANT (auswering boll) Misi Bright doesn't care to see any one thi afternoon. Wilkins—But she'll see me lam sure. Servant—No, she won't— she mentioned you in particular. WEARY WHISKERS (the tramp): Don'! get frightened, madam; I am a membei of the Anti-Waste Society, an' I jesi called ter see if yer didn't want ter hire a man to eat up what vittles yer hav( left over. A FACETIOUS man was taking a drink at a bar. Observing a view of Niagara on the wall he asked jokingly. "Is thai real water?" "No," replied the bar ( tender, the real water is in the glass you hold." TRUTH for once: Giles—l'm glad I lei that fellow have the small loan. H< seemed overwhelmed with gratitude and said he could never repay me Merritt—That was strange. He told you the truth. LADY of the house—Now, don't yoi think you could saw a little wood foi me? Tramp (who has just dined)— No, mum; sawing that there steak yoi just gave me is all the sawing I waul to do for one day. ON the Eiffel Tower: Mother anc the girls (ecstatically): My, isn't i high. Popper (in a gloom that reachei to tho base of the tower): Well, wha of it? Have you seen anything ii Paris this summer that wasn't high? MRS. BRINK— Mrs. Klink! Mrs Klink 1 Your little boy is in our yard stoning our chickens. Mrs. Klink— Horrors! He'll get his feet wet in you big, ugly, damp grass. I don't see wh; you can't keep your lawn mowed, Mrs Brink. 1 ADA —Were you not afraid daring that thunder and lightning storm! Elsie—No; I was with Mike, who wai lately discharged from the Third Ave nue railroad, and you know that the electric fluid never strikes a non-oon ductor. THEN AND NOW. He wan a man of some account And weU among his neighbors stood For any reasonable amount His narno was good. Ho took to drink, and soon his nose Assumed a tint as rod as blood, And now as far as credit goes, His nomo is Dennis. —Boston Courier. "STEWARD," ho said feebly, in the small hours of the stormy night, trying to turn over iu his berth. "Steward what's that?" "The sailor ou deck sir." "Yes, but what did be saj just now?" "All well, sir." "My what a liar 1" And then he turned ovei and moaned a mal de mer moan. CONDUCTOR —That boy can't be lesi than live years old. I shall have tc charge you half fare for him. Mr. Skin flint (nervously looking at his watoh); No, you won't. It's now 7 o'clock. That boy won't be five years old till exactly 7.30, and we expect to get off this train at exactly 7,28. If you charge me any thing for that boy I'll report you, PATIENCE. Teacher—"Well, Willie Jones, her< you are late again. When I have i few moments to spare I shall chastisi you severely." Willie Jones —"Please, sir, yon need n't hurry yourself. I can wait." A Misunderstanding. j They were having a spelling lesson over in the Third Ward District Schoc the other day, and tho little scholai were all ranged iu front of the teachc spelling away for dear life trying t see how near they could get to th head. The word "chimney" was given ou to a little black-eyed damsel who hat been spelling words coneotly righ along all morning, but she missed thi one by inadverteutly leaving out th "h." Quick as a wink the little boa next her pounced on the word ani spelled it correctly. "You may go up one, Johnnie," sail the teacher, as smiling as a basket o chips." "I don't want to," whined Johnnie getting ready to cry. "My ma wouli whip me if I did, because I'd get al over soot."— Peck's Sun. i HANDICAP for all ages—Night caj