AH ORIGINAL EXPERIENCE IN DREAM LAND. She Bat alone in the twilight gloom, Alone by the window in her cozy room • But her thought* were busy with one afar. AH the tender blue eyes met the evening star She whifl]eml fomlly, "My husband I my life I Have you for gotten your own little wife? No letter to-day, aud miles apart. Thee fwr >' ou have n*y heart." Ami the parted, as by magic power, To waft a God bless him!" in the twilight hour. *°v. g l , en cur,s I' re Bed tho window pane. While the blue eye^peered up the darkened lane. List! footsteps lightly mount the stair, And a traveling man with face so fair, lAjye beaming in his soft brown eyes. Quickly enters. Ah ! a glad surprise I Now the days will like moments slip, As heart to heart and lip to lip. With one wild bound to imprint a kiss w° r . rorß [ M was down into a fearful abyss : llie shattered glass and the broken beam All told the talo—'twas only a dream. —American Commercial Traveller. A SKATING CONTEST; OR The Train-Dispatcher's Love. lfY EDWARD P. STOKE. HE story I am about to re t&late, coining as it did under £Jmy personal observation, I have no hesitation in vouch ing for the truth of. The scene is in a pretty town of about 5,000 inhab itants, which nestles cosily in a broad valley between the foothills of one of the mountainous Western States, pierced by one of the great iron arteries of commerce of the Gould Southwest system of railways. The time was the month of May, 188-. At the period mentioned 1 was asso •ciaied with my brother in the publica- j of a small weekly paper in this j nourishing little town of V——. I be came acquainted with almost every one in town, and was always ready to par ticipate in snch of the social pleasures as the limited population allowed. ■ The roller-skating craze had seized, the town during the preceding winter, and of course all the girls and boys learned to skate. The society boys and girls of D were like all boy's and girls of small towns, in that they di vided themselves into "sets" or crowds, and it is with tho members of the set to which I belonged that my story lias to deal. For present purposes we will know them as Maggie lieynolds and William Byron. Maggie Reynolds was the ac knowledged belle of the town, and she carried her honors with becoming grace. She was a slender, delicate little bunch of nerves, of the brunette style. The only daughter of wealthy parents, she was spoiled, petted and willful. She was both vivacious and pretty, and of course a most agreeable companion. William Byron, who, by the way, was a close friend of mine, was a tram dispatcher in the service of the rail way upon which D is located. He was a good mate for Maggie, and from the time the pair became close friends at the skating rink everybody thought it would be a match. Byron was also of small stature. He had seen a deal of the world and was a ready wit, very much of a gentleman, and exceedingly well thought of by the girls, as well as by the public gen erally. He was temperate and indus trious, which, taken in consideration with the fact that lie was an excellent dispatcher, established him in the con fidence of both his chief and the super intendent of the division. William Byron and Maggie Bey nolds were both graceful, finished dancers, and, as they learned to skate together, made the most accomplished and best-appearing couple that fro- j queuted the rink. They were together so much that the rumor of their en gagement was finally accepted as n fact. _The rink was to close for the sum mer with a grand masquerade and skating contest, numerous piizes be ing offered. It was known}that Mag gie and Will intended to contest for the first prize, and everybody said they would win it. I never knew the causes which led up to a change of this programme, but the change was made, and it was an expensive one—at least I always thought it had a very strong bearing on the events of the succeeding hours. I am not a believer in premonitions, but I can recollect very distinctly that I never looked upon the friendship be tween the two with even the smallest degree of favor, and f knew Maggie's disposition and feared that she was merely having a little pastime at Will's expense, and I felt equally as sure that Will was deeply in love with her. When the night for the contest final ly arrived, the whole town assembled at the rink, and from my position in the callerv I could see every one in the hall. Maggie had arrived, accom panied by lier mother and brother, and Will was on the floor a few minutes before she arrived. She went im mediately to the gallery with her mother, while Will remained 011 the floor below, mingling with the merry throng of maskers, and I no ticed that he was not in liis usual spirits. He looked aiul acted ill at "ease. He was nervous, and acted as though he, knew he was being scruti- j nized. Maggie did not wear her usual I bright, happy smile, and did not act as j though she intended to skate. • At the last moment before the con- ! test began, a well-dressed, dapper young man, a passenger hrakeman em ployed 011 the road, who passed a good deal of his time in D , and whom I had often seen at the rink, and noticed as an excellent skater, as cended the gallery stairs and sought Miss Maggie's side, and they exchanged a few words, and Maggie arose, accom panying him to the floor below. In a moment they appeared together in full view of the audience, which di vined in a moment the meaning of the move. Maggie and Will had quarreled, and she was going to skate for the prize with Mr. Sander, for that was the name of the good-looking and ac complished young skater. Will left the rink before the contest was over, without exchanging a word with Maggie. As soon as I could get away from the contest I searched for but could get no trace of him. I know now that he did not close his eyes in sleep that night. The next day was a beautiful one. When Will entered the trainmaster's office at the depot at 8 o'clock a. m., and relieved the man who had been on since midnight, he looked badly, and the other dispatchers noticed that he was nervous and unsteady. He sat down at his table, took the key in a mechanical way, and commenced work. He was handling the north end of the line between St. Louis and I) -, forty-two miles of road. It was a busy day. Besides the two or tiiree ireignc trains eacA way, \\ ill hail to handle one north-bound accom modation, the south-bound through express, and the branch mail line, and added to this, two work-trains were put out between St. Louis and a point twenty-two miles south, and a short suburban accommodation train was or dered on for the summer months, and in half an hour he had the road clear for the passenger trains, and brought the new suburban out to K , the end of its run, where it was to lie until its return at noon. At this juncture the Division Super intendent was notified that the Gen eral Superintendent was coming out over the road in his special car, ac companied by two New York railway kings, one of whom had his son along. The Superintendent said he would be ready to leave St. Louis at 9 o'clock, and wanted to run regardless of all other trains. The Division Superin tendent turned to Will, saying: "Byron, the Superintendent, wants to leave St. Louis at 9 o'clock on his special. He w ants to reach here by 11 o'clock, and will have the right of way, and you hardly have time to make a schedule, so you can run him down this far by wire. Give him a good run." I It was no little work to rearrange I the time of all trains between the two I points, but Will soon had everything | open so that he could come right through. The arrangement was no sooner made than the Superintendent sent a second dispatch to the effect that he ' would not leave until 10 o'clock. This upset all previous arrangements, and new time must be made, and new or ders given to every train. It required careful, level-headed work, and it was done. At 10 o'clock the Superintendent again changed his leaving time to 11 o'clock, and the exasperating work had to be again gone over. The crowding of 80 much work into such a short space of time resulted in another delay, and the special did not leave St. Louis until several minutes after 11 o'clock. The Superintendent's private car carried the two millionaires I and that official, while the son of one of the rich men rode oil the engine. The first twenty-tive miles of their course lay along the river bank. The special would reach K , where the suburban accommodation, north bound, was due to leave at noon, at just about the same hour—possibly a few minutes after 12 o'clock. Following the ser pentine curves of the track along the liver bank, the special bounded on its \ way. Two miles north of K was the M Biver, which was bridged by the railway. It was a small stream, only about two hundred feet wide. On the south bank,nearest to K—, was a switch and n small station, at wliicli an oper ator was not regularly stationed. The little station was known as \Y . The bridge was put at the confluence of the small stream with the mighty Missis sippi. Coming on to the bridge from the north the tracks rounded a precipi tous bluff with a sharp curve,so that to a south-bound train the bridge was out of sight until the locomotive was al most upon it. With the intention of making W a meeting point for the north-hound suburban and south-hound special, hv giving the suburban the siding, Will called up K , and gave the en-, gineer of the suburban orders to leave on time. On that fatal day there was -110 operator at W . Of course the suburban would stop at W , hut it should have had orders to take the sid ing and wait there for the special.' Now it was bound to meet the special before another stop was made, for the latter had orders to "run regardless." The suburban had hardly more than started until Will called up W to give it orders to take the siding for the special. He had not known that there [ was no operator at W that day.' j He received 110 answer to his call, j Time was precious. He called again, : and received no answer. "What's the matter with W ?" he ' asked. "1 can't raise him, and if he don't come to his key before the sub urban reaches him, there will be a col lision with the Superintendent's spe cial." "There is no operator at W to- | day," answered the trainmaster, who ' had just entered the room. "My Clod! then they will meet on the bridge, and nothing can prevent it!" A ghastly pallor came over Will's face, and lie sank back in his chair in a dead faint. The trainmaster took the key, and Will was carried into the next room and revived with cold water. They kept him close in the Superin tendent's room, and would tell him nothing save that the wreck was not very had. It cost two lives. The son of the New York millionaire, who was riding on the special's engine, was jammed into the fire-box and literally burned alive. The fireman of the special en gine was caught between the engine and tender and so badly crushed that he died in a few hours. At 11 o'clock that night I met Will as he came out 011 the street from the Superintendent's office. I hardly knew him, and as I took his hand he scarcely spoke to me. He didn't know yet the result of the accident. "How did it end—how many were killed?" he asked me. "Well, there are three hurt—one pretty badly," I answered, not wanting to tell him the truth. We were standing near the depot. On the platform around the corner was a crowd of excited engineers, firemen, and brakemen. One of them spoke out loudly, saying: "Well, hoys, I am not rich, hut I have thirty-five cents left to help buy a rope for that operator." He did not know that Will was standing within ten feet of him. Will heard it. It was like a knife-thrust. He reeled and fell into my arms. I car ried him across the street into a saloon and soon revived him. The strain was too much for him and he fainted away twice before I could get him home. His mind wandered. I finally got him to bed and gave him a heavy dose of choral. He gave way for a few min utes beneath the influence of the drug, hut he would wake and start from his bed with a look of terror 011 his face. "They can't hang me, can they? It wasn't my fault. There was 110 or ator at W . I couldn't help that." He kept on in this rly morning when he at d ■ k into a deep sleep of exhaust I ,i r ap peared on tho street t - e >f three weeks. He left tow •> day. He was brave, thougl To day he has never mentioned a me to me. Will left D met him a year after in an e n ft large city far from D "I have never attempt * Iran dis- patcmng since, lie saia to me. Maggie married a few years later and also left D . She never men tioned Will's name in my presence after that awful wreck the next day after the skating contest. Fall Care of Shrubs. I It is a mistake to let shrubs go with- j out attention during the summer, and j growing season. Then it is that they should be brought into good shape, for, by watching them as growth is made, | one can see where pruning and train- I ing is required, and the necessary work ] can be done at just the time when it i will do the most good, for shrubs are j more tractable while forming branches j than they are afterward. If you allow i ( a shrub to grow to suit itself all sum mer, and attempt to rectify what you I consider its mistake in fall, you will | find that a great deal of summer growth may have to be removed to i secure anything like symmetrical shape, | and of course these surplus branches j indicates good deal of summer growth | j which has been wasted: so much of the vitality of the plant as was taken i to produce them has been expended use lessly; proper attention at the proper time would have thrown this energy < into the shrub. But we must take things as we find them, and fall finds most shrubs in i i need of a judicious pruning, if we ! would have them take on a shapely , form. Therefore when getting ready j to give them the winter protection, i which most of them require to a greater or lesser extent, give them ft good pruning, and make them symmetrical, j It is well to do this before the coming of cold weather, so that the fresh cuts j on the limbs w ill have a little chance i to heal or at least dry over before they j are laid down and covered.— Ebcn lb. 1 llexford, in La lies' Home Journal, i She Looked Distinguished. Newsboys naturally develop a quick- j ness at reading faces as well as a free- j domin asking and answering questions. | One of this class was peddling his ! wares in a railway train, and in pass- 1 ing back and forth was struck with the appearance of a woman. She looked I distinguished, and as he dumped his j paper-covered novels into the laps of ! the other passengers, ho passed her I by. At last his curiosity got the better j of all other considerations. He found among his books one by Mrs. Stowe, ; and on his next trip he proffered it to j the very dignified lady, but she do- ' clined it. "Excuse me," said the boy, "but ain't ! you Mrs. Stowe?" The stranger shook her head anddis- : claimed the compliment. The boy ! went down the aisle, but on his return he stopped again. "Then perhaps you're Mrs. Stanton ?" The woman smiled, and again shook her head. But the newsboy was not to b.e battled. "Would you mind telling me who you are, ma'am?" It is not likely that the fellow was much the wiser when the woman gave her name as Maria Mitchell. Probably he had never heard of our famous as tronomer, but he was equal to the j emergency. "Well, I knew you was somebody!" j he answered, triumphantly. A Minister's Perquisites. The perquisites of a minister's life are, as a general thing, overestimated. An old clergyman firmly believed this j who had received a call to a small church from his much larger parish in | Massachusetts. A delegation from the j church was sent to urge him to accept 1 the call. He asked them what the j salary was. Tliey replied that it was j about six hundred dollars per year, ! but that the people were very goner- j oils, and were continually bringing in ! things to the minister. "Well," answered the old minister, "I don't wish to offend you, but I must positively decline. And now let me give you a bit of my experience. In my younger days I received a call to a small parish where, as in the case with your people, they were very liberal. It j was their custom to always give the ! minister a ball of butter whenever they churned, and a quarter of veal when they slaughtered. I accepted the call. Things went along as tliey represented during the first year. After that there began to be a falling off in their dona- j tions, until soon 1 received next to nothing. I began to make inquiries. ! One of my parishioners told me that I j gave perfect satisfaction, but the peo pie had begun to 'raise their calves, i And it has been my experience," con tinued the old minister, "that donating parishioners soon begin to 'raise their | calves.'" THE cars of the new imperial train for the Emperor of liussia are lined with cork. The pop-in of corks is ex pected to make harmless the poppin* ; of bullets COMPULSORY EDUCATION. | How your father's mother (God bless her) used to do it. , ENGLISH ILLUSTRATED. McGinnis was ~i at t ho iing kin otm.—Chicago /.eilyer. THE PRIDE OF CHICAGO. THE GREAT AUDITORIUM BIDDING COMPLETED. A Structure s Darin- in Execution ns It j WHH in Conception—A DeitcripUoit or tlio I Splendid Edifice—A Wilderness of Mar- j ble, Hron/e. and Mahogany. 1 E grandest „ I building ever erected liv pri vnto capital has just been practi cally completed ca ®°' " n Grand Lodge of the construction ditorium Build ing by laying a little piece of granite thirteen inches long, six inches thick, and eight inches wide on top of the long, square tower, which commands a view of every part of the city. The ceremony was both elaborate and unique, and it was witnessed by a crowd of people that blocked every avenue leading to the great structure. The street demonstration preceding the laying of the stone was a notable affair, and it was participated in by the leading Masonic bodies of Illinois. The Auditorium stands without a peer in a city whose proud palaces of trade are the wonder of the world. From the coping of the sky-piercing tower down to the massive foundations the Auditorium is a gigantic illustra tion of the enterprise and public spirit J AUMTOMUM of Lie business men of Chicago. No i ! description can do it justice. For a: i generation the pile will undoubted re-' main as it is now—one of the wonders of Chicago and of the world. The | mammoth structure will bo ready for dedication on the night of Dec. 9, when j Patti, the queen of song, will face Chi cago's culture and beauty. That wijji be a great night. Already the dress makers of two continents are design ing and making the costumes which | will be worn on that momentous occa sion. i In company with Milward Adams, a I reporter made a partial tour of the ! Auditorium. The impression created was that there is more room in tlio building than there is outdoors. That !is the only serious objection to the structure. "Hid you ever stand on the twentieth storv of a building?" asked Mr. Adams. "No; of course not, for the simple reason that such buildings exist only in the imagination of aspiring archi tects." Mr. Adams said nothing in response to these insinuations, but led the way upward. The pair traveled the first ,150 feet without difficulty on an elva tor which made no stops until the tenth" lloor was reached. The next ninety feet jaunt was different —de- cidedly so. The tower of the Auditorium is a great building of itself. It would compare favorably with the best structures in New York City. Each of the seven floors of the tower proper lias from six to ten large rooms. On the seventeenth floor are the rooms re served for the Signal Service. In fact, the weather sharps have rented the seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, and twentieth floors of the Auditorium Building, and are now fitting up the best appointed signal ottice in the country. "We will now go to the twentieth i floor," said Mr. Adams. | The twentieth floor is an airy affair ' composed of an iron framework. It is I 266 feet above Michigan boulevard, but seems higher. What a view is spread out before the eyes of those who climb | j | The-COFfTfiTONtOr' I* ID Otron lm ,t% The • uoo,a. % M wrer ILI.I/OI V THK C OPE-STONE. jto this awful height. The great me tropolis is seen as from a mountain | top. The lake front, with its mile of grass plats and winding paths, looks like a playground; Michigan boule vard, a streamer of tape on which are. hundreds of toy horses; the break water, a mile and a half awav, seems I almost at your feet; and the new I ! water-works crib, four miles away, ap : pears but a stone's throw distant. What j is that line of white away out on the, I lake ? The Michigan shore, sixty miles ] off. Evanston, South Chicago, and j Michigan City are in view. To the west the scene is equally wonderful, but not so clear. Out of a dense cloud of smoke hundreds of buildings reach up in tho vain hope of catching a breath of pure air. Over all hangs tlio huge smutty bank of dun-colored clouds, its volume constantly increased j by the smoke from numberless stacks I and chimneys. A hundred feet below j is the central dome of the Exposition ! Building. Tho man-of-war Michigan j looks like a pleasure yacht as it rolls lazily on the waves within the shelter ing arm of the Government pier. It would lie idle to attempt a de scription of the great hall in the limited space of this article. The Grand Opera House of Paris, which has ever been considered unapproacnanie, noes not equal the grander opera house of the Paris ot America. Imagine a beauti fully wrought ceiling of solid gold, studded with ft thousand electric lights: a stage where a thousand men can drill; imagine scores of boxes, the architecture of which has never been j equaled, and four balconies, back of I whose graceful curves a multitude may be seated; a wilderness of marble, bronze, mahogany and delicate carv ings: a palace worthy of a Cicsar in the day of Home's greatest splendor. "What did it all cost?" "Between three and four million dollars," said Mr. Adams. The Auditorium Building is a struct ure as daring in execution as it was in conception. The men who can design, undertake and carry out such a great enterprise as this are creators, and serve for much more than their own time. Only Chicago, with its bound less daring,could have undertaken such an extraordinary venture as this vast Auditorium—a mighty and majestic building covering nearly two acres of ground, and rearing its lofty propor tions, as contemplated by its noble tower, 268 feet above flie earth. It lifts itself, in its noble site on the shore of Lake Michigan, in such dignity and greatness as no other private building in the new world can approach. The whole structure is a victory of archi tecture, and the Congress street facade is over 300 feet long, and is hardly sur passed by the grandeur and eloquence of expression of the noted Capitol it self. New York and Philadelphia have nothing to offer in rivalry to it. It is the most typical building yet erected of the greatness, progress and civiliza tion of America. No provincial city could have been the seat of it. It is | n't once a triumpii and a proot ol Ainer- i ican daring and enterprise and gener ous public spirit. Europe lias no thea ter, opera house, or hall to match it, either in magnitude or result. Yet great as is the Auditorium, it is not half of the real glory of the building. The vast hotel, with its five hundred rooms, and the large store-rooms, all • add to the greatness and wonder of it all. Chicago itself has yet no idea of the reason for pride it has in this build ing. The genius and daring of its builders have given in this enterprise the crown to all of Chicago's greatness. It will stand for hundreds of years, still a marvel. It will become the his toric hall of America, for in it is sure to be held the most famous of all Anierican gatherings hereafter. She Painted ller Lips. A very funny incident happened at a reception where a bright woman, I who was out for the first time after a long illness, was the victim, .lust be- I fore she left home some one said that I she had better put some coloi on her ! lips, as they looked perfectly blue. A serpent iu the shape of a charming girl offered her mixture—one of car mine and glycerine—which, if any is to be used, is most desirable; and slio carefully painted the invalid's mouth, putting the most color in the center, to give it the desired rosebud effect, j The newly painted was warned that she could eat or drink anything cold, but of auything hot she was to beware. Bemembering this, she declined going into the supper-room, and was the center of a group of men, and having the largest kind of a time, when an imp of darkness in the form of a foot man came along with a tray 011 which were cups of coffee and glasses of punch. Without a thought the layde fnire took a cup of the coffee; she sipped it slowly, and then, horror of horrors, made bad worse by wiping her ! mouth 011 a tiny napkin which had been given her. She saw surprise on the faces of some of the men. One glance at the damask in her hand told her what was the natter, and with j providential presence of mini Jhe put | it up to her lips again, leaned 011 the | man nearest to her, whispered in I muffled tones that she was ill and must go home. Out of the drawing room, she quickly got 011 her wraps, and when she was helped to her car riage the man who had been her stand by could not resist telling her that he was sure she must be ill, because her I lips had grown so pale. However, the men were good fellows, and they I never told of her, but she swore by j every one of the Buddhist gods and all of the Chinese devils that she'd submit to green lips before she'd get into such a tix again. Letter - Carriers' Civil-Service Exam ination* We understand that letter-carriers will hereafter have to pass a civil-ser vice examination in order to get their appointments. We suppose that some of the questions will read as follows: 1. Have you corns? If so, state how many and where situated. 2. How would you approach an unfriendly dog ? 3. Do you enjoy walking? IN a new treatise 011 manures, Mr. I A. B. Griffiths states that the process of converting iron into Bessemer steel results in the elimination of a basic slag, containing from I t to 20 per cent, of phosphoric acid. Deduced to an impalpable powder, this slag is a valu able plant food; and as manure, the 850,000 tons of the slagobtaincd yearly in England should produce at' least 4,000,000 tons of hay, or sufficient for feeding 750,000 head of cattle. THE fashion of this world passeth away, and it is not the outward scene but our learning iu it that is to last for ever. SAMUEL KAUFFMAN, a York County tobacco grower, has some leaves over live feet long. IF grown men only knew as much as their mothers think they know when they are babies the world would have no further use for cyclopedias. A WOMAN'S THOUGHTS ON MAN. "®cky Sharp" Type of the Women that Moii Admire. FROM the time •when the small maiden of five discovers the frail sawdust composi- I KVfl'A thm of her cher- A |A m ished doll, down to the days of the •*7 \l deceived and dis #ll' 1 1 appointed wife's I B bitter awaken ing, women learn —to see and keep silence. The dis illusioned little girl, after a few sobs takes the doll back to her affections' lets pity supply the place of lost faith and reverence, and ends by loving it all the more. And so. at a later date, does the true womanly heart master the keen womanly intellect. Woman must love, or die, spiritually. Un doubtedly this necessity plays an im portant part in the fervid devotion she is wont to exhibit in religious matters. It is this fact, and not that she is by nature bigoted or superstitious, that explains her ofttimes misguided zeal. | She is driven to bay, in the disap- pointment that life usually holds for her, with her glowing and glorious ideals. Her instinct to look upward and love is merged in religious devo tion. In her persistent will to adore she even can welcome and warm a cold abstraction at her heart's fires. Too often it ends in the putting out oi those gentle, kindly flames, leaving only a comfortless creed in the ashes of a consumed love and life. The poets, the heaven-born ones, sel dom say much against women. Byron, the gloomy and satirical, says: Man, to man bo oft unjust, is always so to But how can this be otherwise, since justice demands a certain amount of comprehension? And, as a'rule, men understand women so imperfectly that they can only find us thoroughly fas cinating and agreeable as companions, after they have destroyed our faith in them. Becky Sharp was entertain ing, blithesome, and entirely untram meled by that earnestness which makes the face grave, the lips tremulous. She had nicely weighed the worth of men's approval, and in her eyes it pos sessed just its worldly value, not a grain more nor less. The majority of men secretly admire the Becky Sharp type of woman, although they may not wish to express this openly. Keen and fine sensibilities to a great extent retard that flow of sparkling repartee, that careless intellectual poise, which men find so charming in women. Deep, earnest feelings also pale the cheek and make the features worn and angular, though they may at times light up the eyes with fine spirit ual beauty. How many women later in life look back at days of passionate grief over fallen idols with a sigh and a smile at the folly of having wasted so much strong feeling over such com monplace characters. "Oh, poor hearts of poets, eager for the infinite in love, will you never be understood?" And, oh, poor hearts of 1 women, we echo, and add, you never will be understood. But take this les son from the pages of history: to love I much and to neglect your personal I appearance is a pretty sure way to not bo loved. Says Owen Meredith: "Alan Poor I.ucillo, in those weak days of yoro, Had neglected herself, never heeding nor think ing, While the blossom and bloom of hor beauty were shrinking, That sorrow can beautify only the heart, Not the face, of a woman ; and can but impart, Its endearment to one that has suflored." And a pretty, lace-trimmed morning robe of crimson cashmere, if crimson ! is becoming to one's complexion, will 1 "impart" something of its warmth oi | tone to the admiration of lover or hus- I hand, where brown calico, and a ten- ! der, true little heart will not have I much effect.— Barbara Thome, in Chicago Ledger. BATTLEFIEI) JUNK. Virginia Farmers Finding It a Source of Considerable Revenue. A quarter of a century has elapsed since the war, yet many of the farmers of Virginia are still realizing from Yankee lead and brass quite a revenue, says an Alexandria paper. It is the children of these farmers living near est the great hattleficdds that bring to light most of the buried relics of the cruel past. Their tiny fingers, some times in play, again with the hope ol adding to the family coffer, unearth pounds of lead. In strolling through this historical town the writer came across a veritable old curiosity shop down by the wharf. It is kept by an old junk-dealer, who, yielding to my desire for a glimpse at the latest curiosity, brought to light a big box which had just arrived from the country that morning. There, in reckless confusion, were bullets, mus ket balls, old pieces of brass, epaulets, sword hilts, buckles and buttons, all battered and bruised, and corroded by the earth in which they had been bur ied for so many years. This lx>x, the dealer said, would weigh about 150 pounds, and was but one of many that he was constantly receiving. From the midst of the debris a but ton was fished out upon which was inscribed the arms of Vermont (Free dom and Unity), showing that, it had belonged to some member of the first militia that was mustered into service, as the troops were afterward uniformed by the United States. These war relics come from the battlefields of Manassas, Culpeper, Fredericksburg, J and the Valley of Virginia, and are sold simply for their value in old lead and brass. Occasionally an invoice of shells ar rives, which throws the down-town inhabitants into a state of consterna tion. Not so long ago quite a batch of these wicked-looking things were hustled out of town by command of the Mayor. If the farmers were wise they would preserve the most interesting of these mementos, for there will no doubt come a time when even the most insig nificant will have its value. Spoilt HIICOUS i OlllhllNtloim From all the principles of chemistry Jpontnneous combustion is a possible, and, hi fact, a frequent phenomenon. Prof, Wm. P. Tonry, the chemist, says the flame in such cases invariably arise from a combustion of oxygen with some material favorable to producing heat. Wherever there is turpentine there is always danger of spontaneous combus tion. If the substance he poured on rags, especially when they are soaked with grease, fire is likely to result. Furniture establishments and all place* where oils and turpentine are kept are especially liable to visitations from fires of inexplicable origin. Hay, when moist and packed tightly, ferments by a natural process and ab sorbs oxygen so freely as to produce name in many instance. Suipiiunc acid, if allowed to come in contact with bagging at fertilizer factories, is also a source of great danger. The same acid, if mixed with water, produces in tense heat. A common source of unexpected com bustion is the gas which escapes from a jet which lias boon carelessly left open. Gas and common air produce an explosive compound which can be touched off like gunpowder bv a tiny flame. Prof. Tonry says it is very difficult to prevent combustion which arises . from natural combinations, although thorough ventilation and cleanliness in private houses and business establish ments will go a long way toward reduc ing the danger. The phenomenon is common to all seasons, although a tem perature of 70 or 80 degrees, which is high enough for fermentation, is most favorable to it. An accumulation of inflammable ma terials is always to l>e avoided. It was once believed that human bodies, espe cially those of inebriates, were liable to take fire and be consumed spontane ously, but the theory finds but little acceptance in these dava.— BalLinore Sun. He Saw the Governor. The train was within twenty miles of Jefferson City when he 'turned around in his seat and asked: "S'pose the Guvnerwill be in Jefferson City?" "I guess so." "S'pose I kin git to see liirn? Think Mike Fanning'll let me in?" "I presume so." "Well, I want to see him powerful bad." "Anything wrong?" "Well, I calkerlate there is. My son Bill is in jail." "That's bad. What for?" "Fur shootin' at a skule - teacher who's bin and got a corner on all the cider in our county, and is lioldin' on fur a rise." "And what do you want of the Gov ernor ?" "I want Bill pardoned out, in course; but I'm kinder flustrated about how to approach Guvner Francis. If he's down on corners and likes cider and carries a revolver strapped to him, I'm all right; hut if he's sweet on edeca shun, down on pistols, and don't keer a cent for apple-juice when he kin git lager, then Bill can prepare to roost behind them bars lor the next three yeers." He saw the Governor. Bill will continue to roost.— St. Louia Maga zine. VTTii Tse Hen-pecked. The hour was growing late; the pas sengers in the sleeper had all gone to bed. A porter approached "lower 0," and, jerking the curtains apart, mumbled something. "What's the matter?" demanded a rather old-look ing man, getting out and following the porter, who had stepped back a few paces. "I sav, sail, that I am sorry to tell you, hut you'll have to chaise cars." "What for?" the old fellow thun dered. "You want to go to St. Louis, don't you ?" "Yes." "Well, hut this sleeper goes to Kan sas City." "Why in thunder didn't you tell me so, hah?" "I didn't know myself till just now." "Why didn't the conductor tellme?" he roared. "I don't know, sail." "Where is your pumpkin-headed conductor ?" "Back in the smoking compart ment." The old mnu went into the smoking compartment and thus addressed the conductor: "Didn't you know I wanted to go to St. Louis?" "Not until I happened to look at your ticket just now." "And now I've got to change cars at the next station ?" "Y'es, If you want to go to St. Louis." "This is an infernal outrage. Listen : For six years I have been courting the AVidow Hennipin. Sometimes my chan ces would be up and sometimes they would he down. It rocked along this' way till last week and then I married her, and now we are on our wedding tour. Look here, my dear sir, for the love of humanity please let this car go on to St. Louis, for it won't do to pull my wife out of bed at this time of night and make her change cars. She'll swear 1 didn't have sense enough to know where I wanted to go and all through life she'll hold me down. My dear sir, if you believe in the liberty of man, let this car go to St. Lous; don't help to hen-peck mo. If you don't come to my aid that woman will always believe that I am weak—she never will have any more confidence in me—will hold me down and ride over mo, 1 tell you." "We have about reached*your sta tion. Hurry up." "But can't you help me?" "I cannot." "Then I am lost—lost and hen pecked for the second time in life."— Arkansaw Traveler. msses ior Two. "I want a pass for myself and wife to Chicago," proclaimed a cattle-ship per as lie entered a freight office in this city last evening. "How many cars of stock?" "Four." "Humph! that entitles von to passes for two persons. But they have to ride in the caboose of the stock-train and get out and feed and water the animals." "Can't take no other train?" "Not any other. That'y why passes are given to shippers—so they can look after stock." "Well," said the shipper with a sigh, "you can make 'em out. Mirandy 1 won't be much stuck on the caboose, but it's better than paying fare, and I guess I'll rustle around the steers alone. But you bet I don't take her around Chicago when I get there. She's got to stay in the depot while I take in the sights."— Omaha World- Herald. The Way Papa Opened the Door. A friend of mine was visiting in the family of a well-known Maine man not long ago. A lovely flaxeu-haired child of (> years, the pet, of the family, attempted to open a door, which stuck. She pulled and pulled, but could not move it. ... "D nit J they were astonished to hear her say, as she gave a supremo tug and the door yielded. "Why, what do you mean, Maud?" exclaimed the horrified mamma. "That's the way papa opens it," said Maud, innocently. Lewistvn Journal. .