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Fovoe Yourself to Smile.
Don't, if you are a woman with a
sad face, try to look still sadder. Chirk
up; smile; make your mouth into a
Cupid's bow; force yourself to look ant-
mated; try to be expressive with your
eyes. A sad, wan face never won out
in a beauty contest.
Too Many Playthings.
Never let the children have many or
very elaborate playthings. A child's
interest is so easily aroused that a
large stock of playthings proves con-
fusing and wearisome, besides which
you are only making him blase by
giving him the best of everything while
he is small, says Home Chat. For the
same reason all amusements should
be of the simplest.
Three Ways of Curing the Blaes.
The woman who eats fluffy lummery
should take a more nutritious diet.
The woman who stays home too
much should make up her mind to get
out every day for fifteen minutes,
though the heavens fall.
The woman who is entirely disgusted
with her round of daily triviality
should break away once a week and
have some fun, though she has to
spend good money in the cause.
The Emerald Vogue.
Next to pearls, which always hold
the first place, ranks the emerald,
which is the favorite stone of the mo-
ment. Necklaces, pendants, rings and
corsage ornaments are made of emer-
alds, cut in their own peculiar fashion
and combined with diamonds. A
charming novelty consists of two little
hairpins made of platinum, the high
rounded tops of which are powdered
over with diamond dust. They are in-
tended to fasten the veil to the edges
of the hat, and lying close to the hair
have a very pretty effect.
Effects of Tight Corsets.
If you wear immoderately tight cor-
gets continuously as a girl it will do
_ you all manner of harm then and later
on. If you incase your body in a tight
abnormality of steel and whalebone,
compressing vital organs in an unyield-
ing grip, there is a resulting sense of
constriction most irksome. It affects
your appetite; it interferes with: your
comfortably digesting what you eat;
it prevents the normal workings of the
liver and intestinal tract, and alto-
gether the pleasure you get out of a
year or two with a small waist is not
sufficient to overcome the discomfort.
—New York Press.
Irish Lace Ballroom Shoes.
As regards shoes for ballroom wear,
fn point of numbers the new models
are legion, and from those of em-
broidered kid to the latest examples in
Irish lace, the choice is somewhat be-
wildering. Those of lace—which, by
the way, are quite a revelation of
what can be effected in this line—are
mounted over gold or silver tissue,
which is plainly visible through the
inter stices of the pattern, and glistens
and gleams with every movement of
the wearer. Tiny bows of flat gold
or silver ribbon are used to ornament
these dainty shoes, the binding as well
as the heels being of tissue to corre-
spond.—London Standard.
She is 3 Wise Woman-—
Who keeps in mind that a little
credit is a dangerous thing.
“ Who is able to mend both her hus-
band’s clothes and his ways.
Who has learned the paradox that
to have joy one must give it.
‘Who can tell the difference between
her first child and a genius.
Who most admires those eyes which
belongs to a man who understands
her.
Who acknowledges the allowance
made by her husband by making al-
lowances for him.
Who appreciates that the largest
room in any house is that left for self-
improvement.
Who manages to keep not only her
bouse and her temper, but her servants
and her figure as well.
Who realizes that two husbands of
twenty-five years each are not neces-
sarily as good as one of fifty.
Who can distinguish between the
laugh of amusement and the one meant
to show off a dimple.
Who gets off a trolley car the right
way—though she runs the risk of be-
ing arrested as a man in disguise.—
Warwick James Price, in Watson's
Magazine.
A —
he New Geisha Walat.
Th is ever and always a demand
. for the “something different” in each
a every one of the departments of
Adress where monotony of appearance
or design does not prove acceptable.
For instance, this pretty little Geisha
waist, which makes use of two differ-
ent styles of embroideries and a little
lace wherewith to relieve the trim-
ming scheme. The fad for the collar-
less neck is recognized in the handling
of the fronts, in which two straight
strips of embroidery are arranged on
a bias line, a whipping of lace entre-
deux serving to conceal the centre bias
seam. This same arrangement is fol-
lowed in the back and a little ruffing
of lace at the throat makes for a soft
and dainty finish. The fulness of the
fronts 1s managed in tucks, stitched
down for a few inches, and then re-
leased; and some very open and effec-
tive guipure embroidery is added to
{he fronts. In the back the tucks
are run parallel to the fastening, and
stitched from yoke to hem. The sleeve
is a simple puff, finished half way be-
low the elbow with a lace-edged hand.
kerchief frill, The whole design is
simple in the extreme, and can readily
be followed by the home needlewoman.
-Mobile Register,
SH ———
The Simple Home Wedding,
While the services of a caterer save
trouble in many ways, they are not at
all essentlal for a small home wedding.
Dainty refreshmentsattractively served
en buffet, the guests helping each other
and themselves, with one or twa maids
to keep clean dishes ready and dispose
of the soiled ones, tend to lessen for
mality as well as expense; both con-
summations devoutly to be desired.
If the ceremony occurs at noon, the
regular hour of luncheon makes a
more hearty repast desirable. In
courses, the guests being seated at the
table is usually in order.
For an afternoon affair, the refresh-
ments may be quite light, including
sandwiches of various kinds, olives,
salted nuts, cream and crystalized
fruits and bonbons. The cakes are
small, excepting the bride's cake,
which is left for the bride to cut. As
swords may not be lying around loose
in most families, nor the bride re-
sourceful as Miss Roosevelt, a shape
knife should be in readiness for this
time honored custom.
Where gloves are worn, the little
cakes baked with a loop of stiff paper
fastened in with the frosting are con-
venient for handling, as also the crys-
tallized fruit that are furnished with
stems natural or artificial. At a very
smart reception lately the glaced fruits
included a large proportion of prunes.
These glaced fruits, by the way, can
be easily prepared at home at a no-
ticeable saving of expense.— Worcester
Gazette.
—
The Child at Bedtime.
Whatever thechild’sdaytime naughti-
ness may have been, at nightfoll he
should be forgiven and go to rest with
the mother’s kiss on his lips and her
voice in his ear. Hardly anything
can be worse for a young child than
to be scolded or punished at bedtime,
and to carry into its dreams harsh.
ness or gloom. The mother does well
to be a little blind to some things and
remember that much childish culpabil-
ity is superficial and washes ,off al.
most as easily as the soil from hands
and face in the evening bath. Chil
dren should never be allowed to carry
with them in their thought the mental
suffering which too many parents seem
to think an absolute necessity in the
careful bringing up of children. All
too soon will they have to face the
world and its sorrows. Before the
nursery brood is undressed and in bed,
the lights turned low, and the room
quieted for the night, the mother or
older sister can sweeten their last wak-
ing moments with stories before they
embark for dreamland. While the
most exact and rigid truthfulness
should be practiced in our dealings
with children, and they should be
taught to shun all equivocation and
lying, still we need not fear to satisfy
their vivid baby imaginations with the
literature of fairyland, says Woman's
Life. They early learn to find the
truth wrapped up in the husk of the
story.
——
Tlidiness,
Keep your bureau drawers tidy and
the closet where your dresses hang.
Dust is unhealthy as well as un-
lovely.
Don't leave your clothes lying about
on chairs and your boots under the bed
or any place they happen to fall when
you take them off.
Your things will last twice as long
and you will look twice as well dressed
if you take good care of them.
Many a promising match has been
spoiled by the young man’s arriving
at the conclusion that his lady love was
too untidy to make a good, prudent
wife.
I have one case in mind in particu.
lar. A young woman was visiting in
my native town. A prominent young
man of the place was much attracted
by her, and his attentions became most
pronounced.
Finally she went home and very soon
after the man went to see her. We all
expected that the engagement would
be announced on his return. But time
passed; nothing was said. Finally he
told me the reason. “When I called at
her house,” he said, “the place was so
untidy that I could think of nothing
else. I thought fo myself, ‘Dear me,
I suppose if we were married I would
always have to live in this muddle,
and I hadn't the courage to face it,
that’s all.”
So you see how untidiness spoiled
that romance.
Don’t be untidy girls, you can't afford
it; it will ruin your prospects and spoil
your appearance.—Hartford Courant.
A Thought For the Week,
Never ask a man what he knows, but
what he can do. A fellow may know
everything that’s happened since the
Lord started the ball to rolling, and
not be able to do anything to help keep
it from stopping. But when a man can
do anything, he’s bound to know some-
thing worth while. Books are all right,
but dead men’s brains are no good un-
less you mix a live one’s with them.—
Old Gorgan Graham.
E IDEA. .IFE
Nath'l C. Fowler Declares That It is Lead
by the Country Editor,
The country editor is no less an edl-
tor than his city contemporary, yet he
lives in an entirely different atmos
phere and works under conditions im
possible for the city, writes Nath'l C.
Fowler. He is the great big toad In
the little puddle. and the prominent
man of his locality, with every oppor:
tunity for the realization of ordinary
ambition, True, the country editor
may not climb to the pinnacle of jour-
nalism, but to be at the top of a coun-
try monument is more remunerative,
and far more pleasant, than it is to
desperately cling half way up the shaft
of national fame. There is nothing
happier and surer than the life of a
country editor. His income is small,
but so are his expenses. If he is a de-
cent fellow he is respected, and nobody
in town is too good for him.
The influence of the country press,
in its aggregate, is the greatest power
for good which the past has ever seen,
which the present has ever experienced
and the future has ever dared to sug-
gest. The country newspaper has done
more for progress, and has puched civ-
ilization iarther to the front, than have
all other influences for good combined,
save that of religion. The life of a
country editor is as close to the ideal
as civilization has yet permitted. His
average income is frcm $1000 to $1500
a year. Th: maximum income of a
country editor and proprietor does not
exceed $6000 to 37000, except in very
exception 1 cases, and comparatively
few receive beyond the $5000 mark,
but quite a number get from $2000 to
$3000 annually, usually with the assist.
ance of the printing office connected
with the newspapers.
Most country editors are proprietors,
few country newspapers being edited
by salaried men.
The weekly country newspaper, as a
rule, has but one editor, who does sub-
=tantially all the work, often including
the reporting. Usually the bulk of the
work is done by the editor himself, or
perhaps by his reporter, if Le hires one,
with the exception of the out-of-town
news items, which come from various
correspondents, few of whom receive
any moaey for their services.
There is no sharp line drawn be-
tween the country weekly®newspaper
editor and reporter, as they do similar
work, .he editor doing more editing
than reporting, and the reporter more
reporting than editing.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
They seek in vain for power who
fear all pain.
Toleration may be but a synonym
for sloth.
He can not reach earth who does not
touch heaven.
The man who will not waste his love
always wastes his life.
It's easy to have large ideas of liber-
ality with other people's money.
The heart that is hot with passion
may have an icy face for the poor.
He can not be a light to others who
is unwilling to be consumed himself.
Accepting favors means carrying a
load of observations.
Before an old man makes a marrying
fool of himself he begins to argue that
he is not so old.
Everyone naturally dislikes those
people who are so good they suggest
the top line in a copy.
Which brings worse luck: To break
a mirror or to spend a lot of time every
day standing in front of one?
The only men who ever complained
of God's service were those who sought
His pay roll for their own promotion.
When a man asks a girl to let him
call her by her, first name it means he
thinks her last name ought to be
changed.
It is a good plan to listen to every
mother you meet in order that you
may find out who is the smartest child
in town.
When a woman takes her sewing
to the back room “for quiet,” the truth
is that she is trying to get used to her
first glasses.
Tact in a married woman consists iln
refusing to remind her husband in his
cross moments of what he used to say
to her when he was in love.
It is so that we must come to the
sense of the deepness of the blessing
of the life we live. Go into the heart
of it, at whatever labor and pain; en-
ter mightily into its duties; watch not
for its shadow alone, as complainers
do, but most of all for its light.—Rob-
ert Collyer.
Symposium.
“Push,” said the Button.
“Take pains,” said the Window.
“Never be led,” said the Pencil.
“Always keep cool,” said the Ice.
“Be up to date,” said the Calendar.
“Do business on tick,” said the Clock.
“Never lose your head,” said the Bar-
rel.
“Make light of everything,” said the
Fire.
“Do a driving business,” said the
Hammer.
“Aspire to greater things,” said the
Nutmeg.
“Never do anything off hand,” said
the Glove.
“Be sharp in all your dealings,” said
the Knife.
“Trust to your stars for success,”
said the Night.
“Do the work you are suited for,”
said the Flue.
“Get a good pull
said the Doorbell.
“Find a good thing and stick to it,”
said the Glue.
“Make much of small things,” said
the Microscope.
“What is the secret of success?’
asked the Sphinx.
“Strive to make a good impression,”
said the Seal.—Life. ¢
with the ring,”
seed
——————— er a
rE — % Household
< Matters
Some Old Axioms,
Perhaps some homely, old-fashioned
axioms may be of help to the new
housewife:
“A handful of common sense is worth
a bushel of learning.” “
“When industry goes out of the door,
poverty comes in at the window.”
“A man can never thrive who has
a wasteful wife.”
“Drive your work; don't let it drive
you.”
“Let your head save your heels.”
“A stitch in time saves nine.”
“Don’t worry.”
“Smile.”
——
Three Packing Don'ts,
Don't pack clothes in a trunk which
has not been used for some time with:
out airing the latter; it may have been
lying in a damp corner.
Don’t begin to pack before you have
collected together all the things re-
quired, else you may, at the last mo-
ment, be obliged to squeeze some heavy
article in the top of the trunk, and
thus crush lighter articles.
Don't forget that a dress bodice or
blouse must have fhe sleeves stuffed
with soft paper, and any crushable
trimmings, such as lace or chiffon,
should be stuffed out with rolled-up
tissue paper; otherwise all the fresh-
ness will be gone when brought to
light again.—~New York Mail,
Home Made Nerve Pillow.
A “nerve” pillow is something which
physicians are sald to recommend, and
which ean easily be made at home.
One needs only to gather or buy a
quantity of dry soporific herbs, such af
hops and catnip leaves, bayberry and
sweet fern, adding to them sweet
grass, balsam pine and as many sweet
smelling, sleepy things as one can
think of. Dry and powder and mix all
together. Then fill your “nerve” pillow
with the summer-wood sachet powder
thus formed. Stuff the pillow with
down or cotton batting or feathers,
and either scatter the powder thick
through the filling, or, what is better,
make flat sachet bags and fasten them
securely to the inner seams of the
pillow.
Rules For Baking.
Beans, 8 to 10 hours. Beef, sirloin
rare, per pound, 8 to 10 minutes. Beef;
sirloin, well done, per pound, 12 to 1
minutes. Beef, long or short, fillet, 2(
to 30 minutes. Bread, brick loaf, 4(
to 60 minutes. Biscuits, 15 to 20 min
utes. Cake, plain, 20 to 40 minutes
Cake, sponge, 46 to 60 minutes. Chick
ms, 3 to 4 pounds weight, 1 to 1}
hours. Cookies, 10 to 15 minutes. Cus
tards, 15 to 20 minutes. Duck, tame,
40 to 60 minutes. Fish, per pound, 1(
to 15 minutes. Gingerbread, 20 to 3(
minutes, Graham gems, 30 minutes
Halibut, per pound, 15 to 20 minutes
Lamb, rare, per pound, 10 minutes
Lamb, well done, per pound 15 miautes
Pie crust, 30 to 40 minutes. Pork, well
done, per pound, 30 minutes. Potatoes
30 to 45 minutes. Pudding, bread, rice
and tapioca, 1 hour. Pudding, plum,
2 to 3 hours. Rolls, 10 to 15 minutes.
Turkey, 10 pound, 3 hours. Veal, well
done, per pound, 20 minutes.—Philadel
phia Record.
To Make Sausages — Take three
pounds of pork, fat and lean, cut into
small pieces, season with three des-
sertspoonfuls of powdered sage, half
an ounce of salt, half an ounce of pep-
per. Mix all well together and then
press it through well-cleaned skins with
a sausage machine and twist into
lengths required.
Apple Cream—Peel, core and slice
one and a half pounds of sharp cooking
apples. Put them in an enamelled
saucepan with half a cupful of water,
two tablespoonfuls of sugar, and the
grated rind of one lemon. Stew till
soft, and then beat well with an egg
whisk. Whip up half a pint of thick
cream till stiff and stir in.
Currant Tea Cake—Bake this in
gheots and use as hot bread, or as a
dessert with sugar-and bot cream; or,
if preferred, a handy sauce. Sift two
cups of flour with two-thirds of a cup
of sugar, one heaping teaspoonful of
baking powder and a pinch of salt.
Mix with one cup of sweet milk, add
one heaten egg, a tablespoonful of
melted butter, and one large cup of
currants previously steamed or sim-
mered for a few minutes.
Cream of Corn Soup—Score Six ears
of corn down the centre; press out all
the fleshy portions, leaving the husk
on the cob, Put a pint of miik over
the fire in a double boiler; add one
tablespoonful of butter and one of
flour rubbed together, and stir until
the milk is smooth and hot; then add
the corn, a level teaspoonful of sait,
a dash of pepper and cook ten minutes.
This can be made just as delicious
with a good brand of canned corn.
Tomato Bouillon—Use one can of
tomatoes, add a pint of water, a slice
of onion, a bay leaf, a little celery
and boil rapidly ten minutes.
Press through a colander as much of
the flesh as possible. Add the beaten
whites of two eggs, boil for five min.
utes and strain through a cheese cloth,
Reheat the bouillon, add a cup of
whipped cream and serve at once with
strips of toasted bread. If one pre-
fers, twelve ripe tomatoes may be used
mstead of the canned article.
PRINTING AS A SCIENCE,
—
What is Needed 1s & Thorough Technical
Course in Essentials.
Is it not rather pecullar that no cole
lege or institution of learning, techs
nical or classical, has added to its cur-
riculum the science of printing? Elee-
trical engineering is taught as’a special
profession; mechanical engineering,
with shop practice, is a regular thing
at all our technical institutes and col-
leges. Special schools have been es-
tablished to teach art and design; there
are technical schools for dyers and
textile workers, but printing, the art
without which none of the others could
have been spread as they have been,
and without which civilization itself
would have Deen retarded, has no
standing among the schools that make
our engineers, architects, artists, dyers
and textile superintendents. It is true
that Mr. Joseph Pulitzer has generous-
ly endowed a School of Journalism in
Columbia University, and Cornell has
for some years been giving instruction
in the same line; but this does not
cover printing as a practical industry.
What is the consequence of this state
of affairs? Simply that printing is
mainly carried on by the rule of
thumb methods, and without that sci-
entific thoroughness that characterizes
those professions that are taught at
the various institutions of learning, and
as a result we see in all the various
higher walks of life men who have
been printers, but who have been too
large for the trade and have outgrown
it, and are showing their ability in
their present positions.
Of course, all men in the professions
that are taught in technical colleges do
not have the opportunity to attend
such schools, but a little observation
will show that those who do become
the leaders and make for the advance
of their respective professions.
Why is it that the printing trade or
profession, if you will, has no educated
technical leaders to speak of in its
midst? Why do we not see the sign
consulting printer as we do consulting
engineer and mechanical engineer?
Why is it that we have no architects
of books and catalogues? Certainly
not because they are not needed, good-
ness knows.
We think the time ripe for the vari-
ous associations of printers scattered
through the country to endeavor to put
the printing business on a scientific
basis. The days when rule of thumb
and near-enough work would do are
passing away and many of the younger
men in our ranks will live to see a
greater advance in printing than has
yet been made.
We desire to urge the matter upon
the attention of the leaders of to-day
that it is their duty to put the thought
into action that our beloved craft may
take the rank that justly belongs to it.
Every one can recall instances where
the printing engineer or consulting
printer, had he existence, could have
saved them many hours of worry and
many hundreds of the coin of the
realm, and such recollections should
spur them on to the work of educa-
tion.
Yes, we have had and have trade
schools—so-called—whose ambition is
to make money for their projectors and
hold out false promises of positions to
their puipils, but that is not what is
wanted. What we need is a thorough
technical course in the essentials of
printing as a science, such as is given
mechanical and engineering students
in our colleges. Who will take the in-
itiative toward securing it?—Progres-
sive Printer.
Corfu’s History.
Corfu is one of those Greek islands
which, like the Isle of Man, has fre-
quently been baught and sold. For 30.-
000 ducats the Venetians once secured
it, and, with a fleet of galleys and a
strong garrison, held it for many years
against all comers. Chief of the Ion-
ian Islands, Corfu’'s vicissitudes may
be said to have ended when, on the ac-
cession of King George of Greece,
England (which held sway from 1813
to 1863) handed over the “Seven-Isl-
and” state to that monarch’s keeping.
To the head of the first naval power
in the world the waters of Corfu have
a unique history, for it was here that
the first recorded sea fight took place,
in B. C. 663, between the Corinthians
and the islanders. Of course, victory
fell to the islanders, then as now.
They were a crafty people, and when
the Persian wars were in full swing
cautiously waited to see how the Orien-
tal cat would jump. They jumped
with the victor. The people of the
town of Corfu are practically bi-lin-
gual, for Italian has almost as firm a
hold as Greek; but they love the Greek
Church better than the Roman,
A Bad Case of Sabbath Breaking.
On a recent Monday morning the pas-
tor of a church in Virginia was the re-
cipient of a basket of strawberries
brought to him by a little girl of the
parish.
“Thank you very much, my dear.”
said the minister. “These berries are
as fine as any I've ever seen. I hope,
however, that you did not gather them
yesterday—the Sabbath.”
“No, sir,” replied the child. “I pulied
em early this mornin’, but they was
a-growin’ all day yesterday.”—Harper's
Weekly.
Tlme’s Changes.
A Baptist minister required two col-
umns in the Council Grove Republican
last week to express his views on “Fu-
ture Punishment.” Religious views are
changing rapidly. There was a time
when the good old orthodox Baptist
could express his views on future pun-
Ishment in one short word of four let- |
ters.—Kansas City Journal.
In twelve marriages out of every 100
one of the parties has been married be-
t tore,
Adulterated Fortunes.
Little drops of water,
Little grains of sand,
Make t's mighty magnate
And his “trusty” Land.
~Life.
Popular Tasts.
She—“Green is my favorite color.”
He—"Mine, too. The long kind."=
Browning's Magazine,
Quite a Difference.
Patience—"“Was she disappointed in
love?”
Patrice—No; only in marriage.” =
Yonkers Statesman.
A Wretch.
She—“Walls have ears, you know.”
He—“Well, I pity them when you
sing.”—Yonkers Statesman,
Angelic,
Miss Plainly—*“He kissed me in the
dark.”
Miss Spitely—“Well, then he is ex-
cusable!”—Browning's Magazine.
Plenty of Chances.
“I know a man that has never been
kissed in his life,” said be.
“Well,” said she, unsympathetically,
“it's his own fault!” — Detroit Free
Press.
Long Shots.
Mother—*“Why don't you play popu-
lar music on the piano, Lora?"
Dora—"“Because 1 iake after papa,
and I hear he never plays favorites.” —
Yonkers Statesman.
Going, Going, Gone.
Church — “They say coal is going
down.”
Gotham—*I guess that's where mine
has gone. It's gone somewhere.”"—
Yonkers Statesman.
Stout Hearted.
“Yes, she has grown very stout. She
is thinking of trying the faith cure.”
“The faith cure?”
“Yes. You see, it doesn’t involve
diet reform.”—Breok'yn Life.
Must Be.
“I guess my office boy's grandmother
is really dead.”
“What makes you think so?”
“He asked to get off yesterday to go
to the ball game.”—Houston Post.
Father Kicte
Gerald—“I am tootsore.”
Geraldine—“Have you been walking
far?"
Gerald—“No; I just asked your faths
er for your hand.”—New York Press.
Not Comfortable.
Bess—“So you visited Tom's new
offices yesterday. Do you like them?”
Tess—“No. There are three doors
leading to his private office and peopie
bob in there unannounced all the time!”
—Detroit Free Press.
Inpending Collision.
Redd—*The prospects of striking the
North Pole begin to look brighter.”
Greene—*Ig that a fact?”
“Yes; I see they are building three
automobiles for use in trying to find
it.”—Yonkers Statesman.
Particulars Wanled.
“Ah, dearest,” sighed young Broke
leigh, “I cannot live without you.”
“Why not?’ queried tke girl with the
obese bank balance. “Did you lose
your job?’'—Columbus Dispatch.
———— '
Why She Was an Early Bird.
“Just think, our new cook gets up at
6 o'clock without being cailed.”
“She must be a jewel.”
“Yes; she's going to be married to
the milkman next week.”—Translated
For Tales From KFamilie-Journal.
should Say Not.
“That fellow rejoices in the name of
Slobbenupsky.”
“I don't believe it.”
“Honestly, that’s his name.”
“Oh, I don't doubt that. But I don't
believe he rejoices.”—Cleveland Leader.
Worse.
“I'm awfully superstitious about
giving knives away, aren't you?” A
“Yes. Why, I'm even superstitio
about lending them!”
“Why so?”
“Because I seldom get them back.”—
Detroit Free Press.
¥
Recompensed.
Fond Father—*“No, my boy!
afford to take you to the circus.”
Small Son—**Boohoo, Loohoo!”
Fond Father—“But if you'll be good _
and stop erying you can go with mam-
ma to the dentist's and see her teeth
pulied.”—American Speciator.
I can’t
Nautical Finance,
Yacht (superciliously) — “My
husband has a beautiful yacht. I don’t
suppose your husband can afford such
a luxury yet?”
Mrs. Nacht—*“No, the best he can do
is to hold the mortzage on the one your
>
husband has.”—The Bohemian.
Got the ad.
“Know anything about this burnt
work fad?”
“Only that our laundress and cook
seem to have it bad.”
“Are they skilful?”
“More or less; I've never known a
shirt or a pie to get by them without
i their brand.”—Houston Post.