The Patton courier., May 11, 1906, Image 8

THE PATTON COURIER, MAY 11. 19ub
—————————— ————————————" ————
AUDITORS" STATEMENT.
KISH TURNS AND TWISTS. | ¢HE SCHEME WORKED.
TADOUL 4 A0Zen Years ago, As nary |
as I remember, this young man went |
on a visit to a relative in a neighbor |
Northern Cambria Street Railway Company
The Unconscious Yumor That Ore,
Out In the Green Inle, ” |» Bahgant bY Whit) roto Quicies
Statement of the financial condition | The author of “Irish Life and Cha» | my pe perfectly honest. Brown doek
of Patton borough for the year ending | 8eter” says truly that one has only 00 go to his Griswold street office
March 20, 1906, to mix with an Irish crowd to hear gyery night that he tells his wife he
RECEIPTS many a laughable expression, quite Ing going there. The business which he
hid nocently uttered,
From Burgess W. J. Don. Duchess of York were leaving Dublin aary and the man whom he Is coing
I A } » 0 | In 190%, awl enthusiastic cheering, ap to meet does not exist. He belongs
ha, Olt or "WY | old woman 1cmarked: to a club, and clubs have their utr.
BEEMOB se rsisoesngonsss vss one or 21 25 “Ah! lsu't It the fine reception tions. He thought that his wire was
Prom dob. Lyons, foes, oo, they're gettin, goin away?’ growing suspicious, and Brown Is re
mJ. D, 4 In 1892 Dublin university celebrated sourceful.
From J, D, Lyons, collee-
perity, expressed their feelings. _ would not possibly be deferred until the
3 09 | “Well, Tim,” said one, “thim tar aext day. About 9 o'clock she answer
eintinaries does a dale fox the thrade ed the ‘hone and was asked if Brown
of Dublin, and no mistake.” was at home, and she replied that he
“OL faix they do!” sald the other. was at his office.
From Foreign Fir
ance 00's........ or veararers
From County Commis-
sioners on return tax... 128 78
From money borrowed of
L. L. Hoover @ 5 per
ase L000
From money borrowed of Hn “And whin, with the blessin of God, "Guess not” was the alarming re-
ugh e 27 18 we get home rule, sure we can have as sponse. “1 was just down there anc
From money bo ed manny of thim as we plase.” | all looked dark"
Mark Ratubateh @ 2272 82 An old woman, seeing a man pulling She rang off viciously, if women ever
a young calf roughly along the road, do such things, ordered a coupe, told
1,510 20 12,490 97 | exclaimed: | the driver to go as fast as the ordi:
“Oh, you bla’guard! That's mo way | nance allows, kept taking on temper as
to thrate a fellow crather.” | she went and flew up stairs to the
“Sure,” said a laborer to a young office as though a mouse were in hot
per cen
From James Mellon, bal-
ance in treasury March
Br Herein
DISBURSEMENTS,
Paid orders for street work "0 07
“ “
* . Buditin 8 ¢ lady who was urging him to send his | pursmit. Her husband met her smil
4 hh hi f 1,351 0 children te school, “1'! do anything for | ingly, insisted that she had given him
| Health... 225 95 such a sweet, gintlemanly lady as a delightful surprise, put his easiest
Paid oid Tatton 192 46 yourself.” : chair near the light, handed her a pa-
Paid orders for police and 230.60 Again, the laborers on a large estate | per and apologized for Waving to re-
Pala Sal ho iy 480 00 decided that it would be more son. sume work that would possibly keep
“4. “clerk on venient for them if they could be paid him till 3. She «ould not explain, she
Paid Tor prin 130 Hd every week instead of every fortnight | eould not keep a vake, she was asham.
il et inte 12 One of their number was sent to place | ed of herself, and after lamely telling
Paid oni fo Cole ros. 85055 their proposition before the land agent him that she nad dreamed that he was
| ll she left.
and this was his statement:
“If you please, sir, it's me desire In ten minutes he was at the club
and it is also .very other man’s desire, and shook hands with a man who smil-
2 00 thue we resave out fortnight's pay |Ingly asked if the scheme worked.
fvery week.” He replied that it was as good as ready
An exasperated sergeant, drilling a money for at least 60 days. and then
squad of recruits, called to them at each bought a stack of chips that pasa
. Somer-
ville, borough solicitor... 60 00
Paid orders for C. E, Trox-
ell $7,000 Bond Issue,
$25.00,and change of poll-
3 Ing place, $1 3
; Paid orders fo
Conpons...... ‘
Paid orders for Jatnes Mei-
lon, treasurer's commis-
1,235 50
BHO leiaiser: 1oess sorerssvsnsssrsusinn 115 00 last: | \n th ight. Detroit Free P
" st: e Dight. bletro o Tess.
Paid orders for supplies °
for borougzi or 28 52 “Halt!” Just come over here, all of Clothes and the Maa,
If a Filipino euters the louse of 8
Paid orders {or state ts ’ i
5 7 and look at yourselves. It's a fine | ! i
Po dors ii : Be >, wre Foarin tan’ 19 2 | Buropean living in an unassuming
at $500 cach...... 5,000 00 JACK TAR’S GROWL. way, he will not believe that the Eu-
Paid orders for interest on te ropean is either wealthy or wise, and,
20 99 $11,360 66 Tr
a A Story [Illustrating the Sallora glthough his manner may be correct,
Balance in treasury ............... serene 14180 31 Habit of Grumbling. it will not be humble. On the other
$12,490 97| The author of “From Edinburgh t6 hand, if he visits an ignorant man
the Antarctic,” writing of the sailor's who indulges in great splendor, he will
habit of grumbling, says: “The dinners at once become exceedingly respectful.
| are all the same—that is to say, Mon-' Mr. Phelps Whitmarsh, who in The
.__. | day's dinners are all alike, and what Outlook gives his experiences in the
Jl 82 $7612 621 we have today we shall have this day islands, tells the story of a wealthy
six months hence. Jack's forefather jrovincial visiting Manila for the first
this day 100 years ago had the same time, who asked to be presented to the
menu and made the same uncompli- governor general,
mentary remarks about 'the dishes, and When he reached the palace, he
| 100 years hence on this day Jack's chil- ' found the governor taking coffee on
SAME. ..ove cone
STATEMENT OF TAX COLLECTOR.
Due from J. D. Lyons, du-
plieate of 1905............oe.ee.. 6,602 80
Due from J. D. Lyons, du-
Pplicate of 1904..................
CREDIT
Commission paid to J. D.
: Lyons on taxes collected
for first sixty days on
duplicate of 1905 at 2 per
Pa ir on THE Bn ! dren will growl over their salt horse his piazza, dressed comfortably in &
AAPHCATe...c..vverirree ern. 5,185 80 | and plumless duff.” The author alse white cotton suit. The Filipino re
Ee nsurer og lox aw | tells this “yarn” to illustrate that quested that some favor be extended
Five per cent rebs | Jack’s habit of grumbling can’t be # his district, and his request was
Fr within 6 day 2 | rured and must be endure: granted. He then withdrew. The offt
on $773.2 collected with- | Once upon a time there lived a skip celal who had procured the presenta
8 foup mons after ve. 5 | per whose wife said to him that if she tion asked him what he thought of the
Exonerations of 1905 du- i | went to sea the poor men would never general.
Ere ar 22 | ind fault with their food. Her hus- | “Why,” replied the visitor in a tone
plicate... sgatsnsessrarasares 57 80 band took her with him on a voyage of disappointment, “he is no different
Exenemtions fron connly and the good woman attended to the from any other white man.”
Seated and tag. oe 26 80 § 6,500 sy | Cooking in the galley herself. . It so happened that the general was
The scouse was thick with fresh veg. told of the incident, and he gave or-
| etables, the bread was white and with- ders that at his next reception the
aut weevils, the meat was good, and Filipino should be present.
$1,111 73
Amount due from J. D. Lyons,
RESOURCES.
Due from J. D, Lyons 1905 ; | the duff was almost half plums, but ‘Upon entering the throneroom and
pouplicate ig OOO | still the men growled. seeing the general in full uniform,
duplicate... are 107 67 | Then the skipper’s wife thought of surrounded by his brilliant staff, with
Dae BO ny resus | the hens she had brought on board to the accessories of splendid tapestries,
lay eggs for her husband’s breakfast. laced ushers and all the pomp and
| She took them out of the coop, wrung spleidor of these Spanish functions
330 00 their necks with her own fair hands, the provincial grew pale and, kneeling
plucked them. roasted them and sent in deep humility, exclaimed:
them to the forecastle on the cabirp “This is indeed my general!”
Due from commis
retarntax.............:..-. 26 80
Estimated value of munic
ipal buildings x
Due from sc
as follows.
Alex Monteith,
Floats. wir | china. So impressed was he that the fol-
sliams, sewor. we A B | “Now the men,” she said to herself, lowing morning he sent a pair of hand-
Xonisa ©. McCans | “will know how much we think of their some horses to the general with a note
BEwWer,....... ........ 32 16 | eomifort.” which :ead:
Raptick Lyneh, At eight bells she stole forward to “My general, yesterday I liked you
Michael Fizhnrris, | the forecastle to listen to the praise of 80 much in your uniform of gold that
sewer. 5500 202 88 | her skill as a cook. She looked down I send you this pair of horses, but do
{ the hatch and saw a big black fist Dot use them when you dress fn s
Balance in Trea
farch
A Nedees
1,130 31 $ 3,661 72
LIABILITIES.
Outstanding bonds as per
list. ‘
Outs r
plunge a fork into the hen and heard a White suit.”
hoarse voice growl, “I say, Bill, what
| @’ye think this ’ere bloody fowl died
Trying a Donkey.
| A newcomer in Africa has many
| surprises. A. B. Lloyd, the author of
“Dwarf Land and Cannibal Country,”
| Press says that when the late R. B. A... 5p amusing little experience
| Dorr was on the staff of the Baltimore
: sets | American news came one day to the be ig own in purchasing a donkey in
Net indebtedness of borough..............8 18,184 13 »ity editor that food in the Seven Foot a a a
We, the undersigned auditors of Pat- Knoll lighthouse, out in Chesapeake ind al 2 Drovuse Sopreve by po
gon borough, do hereby certify that bay, was exhausted and that the keep- °\ 4 40 tried as we “Stk
We have examined the foregoing ac- | er and his family were starving. Dorr them for riding ORS aL d in Dse
eonnts of the borough for the year end- | gecured a enstom house tug and loaded £ th P Ip h \d ard |
i : | it with provisions. The weather wag CCUrsé ol the work we had various ex-
ing March 20, 1906, and find the same periences. I had set my mind upon a
) |e rtionabl ld, and the t as ,
to be true to the best of our knowledge Bee I ear a he _~ Ya fine female donkey and took ner out
16,600 00
5,020 15
| A correspondent of the Philadelphia
{
bursements of 1905, 2 per
cent on §11,284.96......... ..... 22570 $ 21,845 85
and belief. | knoll. Dorr left the boat and started fof 80 afternoon’s ride. I shall not
H. E. BARTON, {aver the feo. forget it. At first when I mounted her
H. A. LEIDEN, | When he reached the lighthouse, he he Would not move, in spite of al
Auditors. | Was warmly greeted. “Come in the my hi fender Jersanions and final-
: H. 8S. LINGLE, dining room,” said the keeper's wife > ® Jenan fo back ib oe
President of Council, | Biter the rescuer bad warmed himself. Yow, tb > Feets of ar ie very
Al “Come in and have dinner with us.” urrow, And. coning up behing me was
test: — | 8 large bullock wagon. My sweet tem-
| Mr. Dorr thought that hunger had
| made her mad. “I heard that you
| needed food,” stammered Mr. Dorr as
| soon as he could speak.
a “Well, come to think of it,” replied
" oo the housewife, “we do. We have plen-
NOTICE § | ty of meat and vegetables, flour and
Notice is hereby given that the that sort, but the next time you ave
dndersigned has purchased the follow- | coming out this way we'd appreciate it
ing property of James A. Thomas and if you'd bring over a fow jars of quince
the same has been left in his. hands jam,” she added cheerfully.
temrorarily. All persons are forbidden | Mr. Dorr took his provisions back to
o arent t
\to interfere with or molest the same Balinese. but Ho account of ig uly LN a good sense, and I decided to
ander penalty of the law: One brown as keep ber
mare, one set of harness, 70 tons of = breach ot the peace. Experience I AE an
3 > Rsk Blea 5 the past justifies the passage of suc :
ige, une buggy, moult blocks and all legislation as will preserve public or- hot Surureed the Ju nj has wos ne
butch ring tools now in ghon nf James der in the too frequent troubles that mpted to suppress the oleomarg
- a w out of labor disputes traffic, while the records show that the
A. Thomas. hi 1s no way by which Criminal courts are overcrowded with
trouble and disorder can be aver:. 988es brought by the agents of the
od 30 well and 50 speedily’ ns S3iTY and food commissioner, * * *
T | by arbitration and settlement of the Sines the Seem wT ae gr
ol S itd 5 differences in dispute. A law that would 1900 Bins Londrod ond Be Sanat
Reel omerviic, authorize the use of state troops in ’ 2 * b ht by the
| the protection of those who wish to prosecutions have been TORE y the
is dairy and food commissioner against
pered donkey backed right on to the
horns of the bullocks. Then it was no
longer a case of making her go, but of
making her stop.
Away she flew, right along the Naza
Moja road, and nothing 1 could do
would check her headlong career. In
fact, I soon iired of trying and let her
go. On she went, right in among the
¢ocoanut trees, regardless of every-
thing until she came to a steep bank.
Here she stopped. This showed that
ED. MOORE,
Borough Clerk.
Patton, Pa, April 16, 1906,
JOHN A THOMAS
Patton, Pa, April 16, 1906
: i yati bli { 4
Attornev# Work, 1 he a of pubs i. oleomargarine dealers in the various
| glven time arbitrators were not select. counties of the state. Eighty-seven
PA DA | ed by the employes; and close the of these cages have been terminated
! fie vy or shop if within ond eight hundred and fourteen are
| mine. mill, factory or
the same length of time an equal num-
i ber of arbitrators were not selected hy
re sre aps ee PR ~~ | the emplo®er, ought to be sustained
Old papers for sale af this office— by the courts as a police regulation for
only 5¢ a bandle, the benefit of soc’ety.
»
still pending and undisposed of. i
“The agents and attorneys represent- |
ing the dairy and food commissioner
have made every effort to obtain trial;
of these gases, They must await the
Office in the Good Building.
As the Duke and says Is pressing is frequently imagi |
Fish 1900 duplicate. once 5,185 30 Its tercenteuary, and crowds of vis: On the evening in question, as the
tor, 1904 du hot, 1 85 tors were attracted to the city. Twa lawyers would say, he told her that |
From Coury Tre ti.00 laborers, rejoiced at the general pros there was a matter of business that
quor leenses,.... 9
“madam,”
| Ing ecity, and one afternoon, ou the
third or fourth day of his stay, he
Schedule of Cars.
startled a lady member of the Louse RUNNING ON 3 “HRTY-MINUTE HEADWAY,
hold by remarking that he ‘had a feel First car leaves power house for Bormeshoro ibe... ow d 58 0, mm,
Ing’ that some misfortune had over , Mecoud cur leaves power Eouse for Barneshoro ab.,........628 *
taken a wealthy planter whom they Third. « “Bt Dencdlet ™ “ Hn 5060
both knew very well, and whom 1 wil Third Car” mules connections v ith P, R, R. traln at Spangler for Cresson,
eall Colonel Jones. The colonel was & car leaves Bionesboro for Potton ot 216 a. m. and every 50 minutes thereafter until
| prominent resident of the doctor's nl Pom, The 10:60 und 1:15 p.m, ears to power house and St, Benedict ONLY,
| home town and had a large outlying a Jet id Jowves Dutton for Barnesboro and Carrolltown at 6:00 a. m, und every 30 minutes
| estate, which he was in the habit of Jaureafier uit oo. Pom, The 1:00 p, mea to power house ONLY, No Carrolltown cone
visiting once a week, ‘ First car leaves power house at 5:00 a. m. for Carrolltown, This car then remains on the
On the day of Smith's singular pre ' Branch and connects with a'l Main Line ears at Carrolitown Junction.
| monition he was on one of those tours First car leaves Carrolltown for Patton at 5:30 a. m., and every 30 minutes thereafter until
of inspection, but failed to come back, 10:30 p m,
and the following morning his corpse First ear leases Carrolitown for Barnesboro at 6:00 a, m. and every 30 minutes thereafter
| was found lying in a cornfield. He vn 10:50 pop. The 10:50 p.m. car will be the last scheduled car for Carrolltown unless they
had evidenty been dead about 24
| hours, and from the appearance of the
| “Of course the affair created a great
| body seemed to have been seized with |
| some sort of fit or convulsion. |
receive passengers from Main Line cars at the Junction at 10:44 p. m, when they willl eave
again at 11:00 p. m. for the power house ONLY.
TIME OF CARS AT STATION POINTS ON MAIN LINE.
First car Victor No. 9 to Barneshoro at..... 50am
Second ear Vietor No. 9 to Barnesboro at..527 a m i every 30 mins » oY o7
a i O28 and every 30 mins, thereafter until 1057 pm
stir, and the police made a pretty First car Brandon Hotel, Spangler,
thorough investigation, but the only 8, 4th street to Barnesboro * ..5 “ “ “ “ “og “
thing they found that merited any |Secondcar « « « “ “5 “ “ “ “ “ 1028
special attention was a small, round First « “ “ «Patton “ “ “ “ “ “ 1198 «
vial in the dead man’s vest pocket. It} * “ Victor No, 9 “4 « “ “ “ “ “ woqlur w
was about the diameter of a lead pen, ** * power house " “ “ “ “1082 “
ell by four inches long, and had orig-| % Foxbery “ “ " “ “ “1083 “
inally contained a couple of dozen| , Sr henetiel “ i - “ “ 1084
medicinal tablets, which, lying one on | - Sik ot a oid s i“.
top of the other, filled the little bottle | « « Acheron © a x A
to the cork. A few still vemained in| « “ Columbia “ “ at “ 1050
the bottom. a “ « “ “ “ “ W “ 1058 ¢
“Upon inquiry it was learned with | « “ Ashcroft ~~ “ “ “ “ “ “ 1040
out trouble that the tablets were a| * “ XRoads “ “ “ “ “ “ 1042 ©
harmless preparation of soda, and that | * * Carr’lt'n Jet * “ “ “ “ “1044
Jones himself had bought them at a! * * St. Benedict * i v “ “ “ 1050 “
local drug store. That ended suspicion | - Foxberg 4 ’ te t “ 108
‘ power house * “ “ “ “ “ 3082 +
in that quarter, and, for lack of any- |
thing better, the coroner returned s
verdict of death from sunstroke.
There was no autopsy.
“Some time after Jones had beep |
buried,” continued the police commis |
sioner, “I learned accidentally of Dr.
Bmith’s curious prophecy, and it set
me to thinking, Eventually I evolved
a theory, but it was impossible at the
time to sustain it with proof, and for
five or six years I kept it pigeonholed
in my brain, waiting for something tc
happen. Meanwhile, to everybody's:
surprise, Dr. Smith went to the dogs |
He began by drinking heavily, grad: |
ually lost his practice, and finally
skipped out to avoid prosecution for
cashing a fake draft. After his flight
I learned enough to absolutely confirm |
my theory as to Jones’ death. What |
had really happened was this: !
“Dr. Smith owed the old man a con- |
siderable sum of money and had given |
a note, upon which he had forged his
father’s name as indorser. The plant
er was pressing him for payment and |
had threatened suit, which meant iu
evitable exposure. One day, while
they were conversing, Jones pulled out i
a little glass vial and swallowed one
. of the tablets it contained, remarking
that he took ome daily, after dinner, !
for sour stomach.
“That suggested a diabolical scheme
of assassination, which the doctor pro |
ceeded to put into execution. Repair |
ing to his office, he made up a duplicate
tablet of strychnine, and, encountering
the colonel next day, asked him to let
him have the vial for a moment, so he
could copy the address of the makers
from the label.
“Jopes banded it over unsuspecting
ly, and while his attention was briefly
diverted elsewhere Smith put in the
prepared tablet. He placed it under
the top four, thus making it reason
ably certain that his victim would take
ft on the fifth day from that date.
Next morning he left town, so as te
be far away when the tragedy was
consummated, and some mysterious
uncontrollable impulse evidently lec
him to make the prediction that first
excited my suspicion. :
“When 1 made certain of all this, I!
located Smith in Oklahoma and was
on the point of applying for an extradi- |
tion warrant when he anticipated me |
by contracting pneumonia and dying |
I thereupon returned the case to its
mental pigeonhole, where it has re
mained ever since.”
“Pardon me for asking,” said one of
the listeners, “but is that really a true
story, or are you entertaining us with |
Interesting fiction?”
“It is absolutely true,” replied the
aarrator. i
“But how did you learn the particu |
ars?” |
“Well,” sald the police commissioner |
smiling, “Smith was like most clever
sriminals—--he had one weak spot, He
was fool enough to tell a woman. She
blabbed.”—New Orleans Times-Demo-
erat. i
Ate Course Dinners,
A woman just arrived from Aus-'Just where the old
tralia was recently negotiating with over the brow down into Black Hole
an agent in London for a house in one Vatley, is a queer field of rock, which
of the newer districts of Kensington, years ago was christened “The Devil's
She asked if it was a nice neighbor- , Turnip Patch.”
hood. “It is thoroughly desirable, of a reddish sandstone, have a striking
agent, peculiarity of all standing on end, thus
“hey are without exeeption soup and forming a jagged, irregular surface,
that won for it its queer name from
the early settlers.
replied the house
fish families.”
It is not corréet to say that a girl
“renders” a song.
Globe. i
“what tne newspapers snoulQ uv ts
to devote less space to describing what
people should wear and more to what
they should eat” remarked the butch-
er. “Fashionably dressed women come
in here every day who don’t know lamb
from mutton or a hen from a rooster.
No wonder men have dyspepsia! I find
that men know more about the quality |
of food stuffs than women do. Many |
of the latter don't even know the few
simple tests that might help them to
distinguish an old fowl from a young
one, and about meat they're greener
yet. A young woman caine in nk the
other day and asked for two pountis of
veal cutlets. I showed her the 1§in I
proposed to chop the cutlets from,iand
she remarked, ‘Yes; that's very nice,
hut isn’t it rather thick to fry?”
¢
4
| board.”
eloset containing a skeleton and said:
Madam, I try to keep my traubles to | Bized,” bawled the sentry. The judge
myself, but every night T am com- | 8dvanced, and the following dialogue
If she lives long wheeled their way up from Northum- |
enough to become of some use in the perland to Williamspert, the four in |
world, she may some day render lard hands traversed the old pike that skirts |
but she can’t render @ song—Atchisor the turnip patch, and the strange gar
den of rocks was a constant Source of |
wonderment to the traveler.
to its interest as a natural curiosity is
a hidden stream of water somewhere
beneath the standing stones, the noisy
flowing of which forms a vomantie |
song beneath one's feet.
knows where the source of this gtream
is, nor can anybody find where it emp-
ties itself into Black Hole valley.
or three acres, with its widest part to |
the north, then narrowing down V ey talks,” she remarked.
shaped to the south, where the angle
Is lost in a fringe of stunted hemlocks | gne” he replied; “but, unfortunately,
and elders, Theorists have figured on | while money talks, all that talks is not
the cause of this mountain freak, but} money.”
the theory obtaining most credence is
that it 1s a legacy of the glacial age | ghe asked.
the rocks being a collection pushed
| Into thelr present vertical position. bY | ywered. “1 would be married to a fab
First car leaving Barnesboro at 5:15 a. m. will eonnect with the N, Y, C. & H. R. R. R. train
leaving Patton at 6:10 a. m. for Muha ffey, Clearfield, Philipsburg and Williamsport.
Baggage and packages carried on all cars.
Special cars can be arranged for. J. L. MeNELIS, Supt.
SEN
Now on the Market
PATTON BEER ..
Warranied absolutely pure ard free from
all deleterious substances.
TRY IT! ; TRY IT!
FOR SALE AT ALL THE LEADING BARS IN THE COUNTY.
PATTON BEER IS UNION MADE.
Bell ' THE PATTON BREWING CO.
PHONES: !
Local PATTON, PA.
Advertise in the COURIER.
|
Whea President Kruger sallea ror DR. H, W. BHILEY,
England some years ago, he was the .
object of much concern to his fellow | = or.
passengers on board the liner fromw De f i
Cape Town, many of whom were con- En IS .
Room 16, Good Building.
, sumed with curiosity when they no- |
ticed his absence from the dinner table |
for the first four days out. \
On inquiry they found that the care
ful Transvaaler spent the dinner hour
on deck, where he ate biltong and bis. '
euits. When asked his reason, he tes |
tily réplied, “1 have no money to fool |
away on expensive eating, like you
Englishmen.”
The correspondent who tells the story
and who was on board at the time
adds, “You should have seen the old |
man trying to make up for lost time
when it was explained to him that his | Office in Brady Building.
passage money included his meals on | __ _ 5
Office Hours—S8 to 12 a. m.,1to5p., m.6to 8
{ p.m. LOCAL PHONE.
T.R. MORRISON
Dentist,
PATTON, PA.
teens He Got a Pass,
A Skeleton In Every Closet. “Halt!” sried an alert patrolman in
The expression “There is a skeleton | Manila as a beautifully caparisoned
tn every closet” is said to have its | c&rriage drove up containing a portly
origin in the fact that a soldier once | gentleman. The driver reined his
wrote to his mother, who complained | steeds, and the sentry, standing firmly
of her unhappiness, to have some sew- | ib the center of the street, shouted,
ine done for him by some one who | “Who is there?”
l«:d no cares or troubles. At last the Not knowing what else to say, the
wiother found a woman who seemed | 9¢cupant of the carriage answered,
to have no troubles, but when she tald | “Judge Taft, president of the civi2
ger business the woman took her to a | commission.”
“Advance, Judge Taft, to be recog«
pelled by my husband to kiss thiffskel. | took place.
eton, who was once hig rival. Thiny | Sentry—Have you a pass?
you, then, I can be hannv?’ Taft—No, sir; do I require one?
pre fe Sentry—You do, sir, and it’s my duty
to run you in.
Taft—But I am the civil governor of
the Philippine Islands. ;
Sentry—That doesn’t cut any figure,
You're a civilian and out after hours
I'll let you go by this time, but the nexs
The rocks, which are | time I catch you you'll have to see the
captain,”
“Thank you,” murmured Judge Taft
| as ne drove away. And there and them
he forméd a resolution to put in am
application for a pass. According to
| the Manila Freedom, he got it.
A Couple of Bulls,
An advertisement recently published
| in a newspaper in Ireland set forth
| that “Michael Ryan begs to inform the
“Phe Devil's Turuip Patch,”
On the top of Bald Fagle mountain,
turnpike breaks
In bygone days, when the stages
| public that he has a large stock of
| cars, wagonettes, brakes, hearses and
| other pleasure vehicles for sale or
| hire.”
| This is the same paper which, in §
glowing description of a funeral, an-
nounced that “Mrs. B. of G—— sent §
magnificent wreath of artificial flowers
in the form of a cross.”
Added
Nobody |
The rock field covers an area of twe His Pointed Remark.
“I frequently hear you say that mone
“Yes; it is an old saying and a true
“Why do you say ‘unfortuuately? ™
“Because if’ that were so,’ he am
the moving ice. —Philadelphkia Kecerd. \ “lane fart anit. Fandan Prin
|
VC
I
60
wi
Nam
Th
Al
Boe
In
strik
fessi
com
bun
look
M:
that
fect
ple ¥
gam
SUpE
mad
a scl
fast |
Th
year
clubs
repu
gam
faste
been
sod s
novtic
sider
cure
86a8s(
entit
play
Th
the f
"Stars
club.
who
ball,
card.
arral
newl
Ma
the fi
are yp
E.
and f
Ke
sateh
Jol
Ww.
Da
and 71
J.
Carli
All
short
A.
man.
Fra
and I
Th
ter fi
All
The
catch
Ral
versit
Ro;
third
Lar
word
will 1
and \
also c
X Gis
21 an
Augu
11 anc
Old an
Ans
Adam
last T
Puebl
stoma
He
Weak
Ambr
ware
follow
Alber!
widow
litzin;
young
years
His ©
seat, v
The r¢
day ar
Catho!
intern
Jacc
of No
dents,
from ¢
He
to Can
years.
entire
vived
Frank
towns
met Vi
21 gra