MUSIC IN DARKNESS,
ME RICHARD WATSON MLLER,
.
I.
At the dim end of day
1 heard the great musician plays
Baw her white hands now ry now swift
ly pass;
Where gleamed the polished wood, as in a
glass,
The shadow hands repeating every motion,
Then did 1 voyage forth on music's ocean,
Visiting many a sad or joyful shore,
Where storming breakers roar,
Or singing birds made music so intense
So intimate of happiness or sorrow--
1 scarce could courage horrow
To hear those strains; well-omgh 1 hurried
thence
To escape the intolerable weight
That on my spirit fell when sobbed the
music :
Late, too late, too late,
While slow withdrew the light
And, on the lyric tide, came in the night.
11.
So grew the dak, enshrouding all tae
room
In a melodious gloom,
Her face growing viewless; line by line
Her swaying form did momently decline
And was in darkness lost.
Then white hands ghostly turned, though
still they tost
From tone to tone; pauseless and sure as
if in perfect Tight:
With blind, instinctive, most miraculous
sore.
On, on they sounded in that world of
night.
11.
Ah, dearest one; was this thy thought, as
mine,
As still the music stayed?
“So shall the loved ones fade—
Feature by feature. lize on lovely line;
For all our love, alas,
From twilight into darkness shall they
pass!
We in that dark shall see them never
more,
But from our spirits they shall not le
banished
For on and on shall the sweet music pour
That was the soul of them, the loved, t.e
vanquished;
And we who listen shall not lose them
quite
In that mysterious ..igut®
———— ee cn.
$” eo aelteSee
wTHE...
: SECRET
IGNORANCE.
D0 VOID
PROI'ESSOR of Oriental |
languages lay dying. He
was a learned man, with a
long list of initials after
his name and a long, white
beard. His work in philol-
ogy is to this day spoken of with great |
respect. His studies in Elizabethan, Yit-
“erature were profound, and hig“ clear
anf authoritative essays oy {he sub-
ject have just been collecygfd from the
learned Fewiews and pudbiished. The
‘Athenaeum’s Speuks very well of
them.
“Doctor,” he said to his medical at-
tendant, “am I dying?’
“Nonsense!” said the doctor, irri-
tably. “You've got a good chance of
pulling through all right if you do
what you're told and don’t worry. And
you've been worrying.”
“How do you know that?’
“Never mind. It must be so,
mind is not at ease.”
“No,” said the professor, wearily,
“far from it; very far from it.”
“Well,” said the doctor, cheerfully,
“you must get over that. It cannot be
a money matter.”
“No,” said the professor, “my affairs
are in good order: I leave enough be-
hind me; Jane is amply provided for.”
“Of course, if it is in any way con-
nected with religion—"
The professor smiled with tired su-
periority. ‘“The few generalities which
serve me for religion—all that my rea-
son permits me to accept—are not
enough to trouble me. And yet I own
that it is by my conscience that I am
tortured. There has been something
hidden in my life.”
“I am not curious,” said the doctor,
“put if you think it would ease your
mind to speak of it I should strongly
recommend you to do so. Could you
not talk to your wife about it?”
The professor shook his head. “No,
no,” he said, “it is one of the things—
one of the many, many things—that
Jane could mever by any possible
chance understand. Perhaps, just at
the last, I may tell you. You will re-
gard it as a secret?”
“There is no need to put such a ques-
tion to a doctor. You may depend
upon me absolutely.”
* * * %* * * *
Your
®Am I dying?’ he asked again the
next morning.
“No, no,” said the doctor. as he put
down his thermometer. “But you're
not so well. Of course, you haven't
slept properly.”
_ “No,” said the professor, “I've slept
very little. How can I sleep with this
burden on my mind?’
The doctor shrugged his shoulders
and said nothing.
“Come,” said the professor, quickly,
#1 will tell you. The door is locked?”
The doctor turned the key and re-
turned to the bedside.
“Once,” said the professor, “I knew
a woman—"'
“It's always a woman,” thought the
doctor to himself.
“A woman of the highest character
—a good mother, an excellent manager
of a household. She gave away the
prize at a girl's school. I was there
and saw her. In conversation some-
thing aroused my suspicions, and I
said, ‘Do you know the name of the
Chancellor of the Exchequer? She
said she did, but she did not tell me
the name, and she blushed crimson.”
“Well, well,” said the doctor, im-
patiently, ‘what has all this got to do
with it?”
“Her case is mine, except that mine
fs much worse. There are a certain
number of things which everybody is
' supposed to know. I sometimes think
that nobody really kuows all of them,
needed to acquire the information,
BY my own case is black indeed. 1
am esteemed to be a man of learning.
A volume written by me is a great
event in the world of scholarship. I
have been presented with the honorary
degree of a great university, and was
on that occasion complimented at con
siderable length in a Latin oration,
‘Dead Sea Fruit!”
“Come,” said the doctor, “ignorance
of some little thing which everyone is
supposed to know about cannot be
regarded as an unpardonable crime,
There is nothing to worry about.”
“You do not know low black my
case is. Listen.” His voice sank to a
hoarse whisper. “I do not know-I
never have known for more than a
word, ‘seize’ ”
“But, really,” said the doctor, “one
learns that’ kind of thing in the
nursery.”
“Some do,” said the professor. *“I1
never did. I never could. For the
last thirty years I have never even
looked the word up in a dictionary, It
is of no use. The knowledge will not
stop. Two minutes after I have seen
it I have forgotten it; and I, sir, am
a professor of languages! As I look
back all my life seems to have been
filled with mean, cunning and dis
graceful subterfuges to avoid spelling
the word ‘seize.’ I have written other
words when ‘seize’ was the word that
I really wamuted. My bitterest experi
ence was with Jane. I was explain.
ing to her one day that she did not un:
derstand anything about anything and
that it would be a good thing if she
were better educated. She was writ
ing a letter at the time, and perhaps
not paying sufficient attention to what
I was saying. At any rate, she looked
up from her letter, suddenly, and said
‘How do you spell ‘seized,’ George?”
“What did you do? Get out of the
room in a fit of coughing?’ ’
“No: she might have suspected. 1
told her. I told her definitely and firm:
ly. and it is extremely probable that 1
told her wrong. I knew that the peo:
ple who received the letter would be
too delicate to speak of her mistake
* * * *® * * *
His wife was with him when Je died
a few days later. He was*only par
tially conscious. His dasi@words to Ler
were, “It's eitlier ‘se-i’ or ‘si-e.’’—
The ey
,ouT OF SIGHT OF LAND
Littld “Baldheaded Man Gets the Story
Tellers in Kansas City Guessing. «
“Yes,” said one of the traveling men
who were telling stories in front of thé
hotel, “I was once out of sight of land
on the Atlantic Ocean twenty-one
days.”
“On the Pacific one time I didn’t seé¢
land for twenty-nine days,” said an-
other.
A little, bald headed man tilted his
chair against a’ post and knocked the
ashes from his cigar.
“I started across the Kaw River,
near Lawrence, in a skiff once when I
was a kid,” he said, “and was out of
sight ¢£ land befor~ I reached the
other cide.”
“Aw, come off!” came from one of
the crowd. “The Kaw isn't more than
300 yards wide anywhere along near
Lawrence.”
“I didn’c say it was.” said the little
man quietly, “The skiff turned ovet
and I sank twice.” — Kansas City
Times,
Scme Advantages of Poverty.
If you are reasonably poor you will
benefit in the following way:
The chance is remote that you will
be killed in an automobile accident—
unless you are an unlucky pedestrian,
You will never be the defendant in
a breach-of-promise suit.
You will never have to dodge the
subpoena-server when the courts wish
you to testify in proceedings against
gamblers and life insurance officials.
You wife will never plead with you
thus: “Buy me some Russian sabléd
carriage robes and a stomacher of dia‘
monds and emeralds.”
You will never hear people say of
you: “I knew him when he didn't have
a dollar to his name, and look at him
now. Ile’s not been in a street car
for two years.”
No practical doctor will find that
you are afflicted with appendicitis and
other luxurious diseases.—Philadelphia
Record.
ets mente ee —
Happy Thought.
There is a very pretty girl in Syra:
cuse who, with the best of motive
and most kind intent, is generally. as
she herself expresses it, “in a mess.”
To a chum she recently said:
“I seem to have offended Mr. ds
Lancey, and I can’t imagine how. 1}
sent him a little token on his birthday,
and he acknowledged it in the coolest
manner.”
“What did he send?” her friend in-
quired.
“Well,” she explained, “I wanted td
give something that would have som
connection with his lovely verses, vou
know, and by what was almost an in
spiration I thought of a rhyming dic:
tionary.”—Harper's Weekly.
Could See Too Far Down.
The story is told by the Brockton
Enterprise of a throat specialist who
was exhibiting his laryngoscope to a
nervous woman patient and remarked:
“You would be surprised to know how
far down you can see with this instru.
ment.” And then, as he was about tc
place the laryngoscope in her throat
she apologized for having a hole in her
stocking.
The Distinction,
“I always thought,” remarked ar
English Judge, “that a parasol and a
sunshade were the same.” “No.” re
plied the witness on the stand: “a
sunshade is to keep the sun off; a
and that more time is spent in trying
parasol is to flirt with.”
to hide the ignorance than would be’
moment at a time—how to spell the
But it is not the way to treat a vir
aking the Sea Build........
«.. Its Own Prison Walle
saumsaany
NE of the most interesting
phases of modern engineer.
ing is that dealing with the
protection of our shores
from the encroachments of
| the sea. It is a matter of
common knowledge that in many
places on the coastline valuable land
is yearly swallowed by the sea, and
that the limit of high water mark is
steadily creeping inland. Most people
also know that there are many other
places where the reverse of this is
happening, and the land is actually
gaining upon the sea. It is reserved,
however, to very few, even among en-
gineers, to know the methods which
have been and are being taken, in the
one case, to counteract these encroach-
ments, and, in the other, to retain pos-
session of the accumulated accretions.
With the exception of a very few
places where trade and shipping have
necessitated harbor defensive works,
the sea has for ages been allowed to
work its own will on our coasts, un-
interrupted to any extent by man, un-
til within the last few years. Where
the sea has given up some land, and
has receded somewhat, man has been
bold enough to “reclaim” the gift, but
the birth of active successful measures
towards compelling it to cease erosions
here and to give accretions there’ be-
longs only to the last decade the
last century. i
Experiments made with the many
systems advocated at various times
by different experts hafe served to
prove a few general/principles which
seem fairly applicable in the majority
of cases of erosigh. The most obvious
remedies to bg'applied are those of the
sea-wall andl the dyke, and these have
been mulgipliedin all conceivable forms
and slffipes. It was early recognized
that/to oppose a vertical face to the
pogress of the sea was to invite disas-
fer. The water, especially during a
storm, exerts a most serious scouring
action at the bottom of such a wall,
and quickly bares it foundations, after
which breaches become easy.
To minimize scour, aprons have been
constructed at their bases, consisting
of stone, brick or cement beds laid
against the toe of the wall and extend-
ed at a greater or less angle outwards
towards the sea, and so protecting
their foundations. The process of trial
and error has, however, shown that
vertical walls are unsuited for these
purposes, and that the greater slope or
batter than can be given to their face,
the more successful they are. FProb-
ably the best form of face that can be
given is elliptical, as flat as possible,
arranged so as to minimize all batter-
ing action of the waves, and protected
sy a substantial apron at the toe. Even
under the most favorable conditions,
however, scour will in time result,
and constant attention is required to
see that extensive denudation at the
base does not take place.
Sea walls at their best are, however,
mly a passive agency, and means have
seen sought to combat more actively
the ceaseless action of the tides. Up
0 the present, the greatest success has
seen attained by the use of groynes.
Observation has shown that the sand
ind shingle of the coast are constantly
shanging their position and are un-
reasingly drifting in directions pecu-
iar to every separate place. A groyne
s merely an obstruction designed to
arrest in the best known manner the
solid matter washed up or carried in
suspension by the waves, so that the
:0ast may become gradually built up
nstead of denuded. When groynes
were first built they were of what is
mown as the “high” type, in contra-
i{istinction to the now much more fav-
wed “low” type. High groynes, such
1s those of Hastings, usually placed at
ight angles to the shore line, undoubt-
sly collect a lot of sand and shingle,
yut it is only on one side, the other
side not only not arresting matter, but
n most cases being so subject to scour
that there often appears to be as much
abstracted from the one side as is
zained to the other. The manifold dis-
wvantages of high groynes have led
0 a very general trial of the low, or
:ase, system of groyning.
The fundamental principle of this
system is that of constructing the
roynes at a slight elevation only
1bove the beach—this being claimed
10 prevent scour on the lee side—and
to gradually raise their height as the
peach accumulates, so building up a
aew and much raised beach level.
Such groynes were first tried at Dym-
shurch. The sea wall here has the
iuty of protecting Roamney Marsh,
and in the twenty years prior to 1804
ow water mark had advanced 320 feet
andward, and the wall was in a very
precarious condition, due to the causes
just outlined. In that year Mr. Case
onstructed his groynes, and by 1899
he had succeeded in raising the shore
level on a frontage of nearly two and
one-half inches, the accumulation
amounting to about one and one-half
million tons, and low-water mark being
driven seaward about 400 feet. Such
results as these have never been shown
oy high groyning, and the success at-
tending the experiment Las led to she
adoption of the plan at Youghal (where
the low-water mark has been driven
back from 200 feet to 500 feet), at
Blackpool, Bray, Sheringham, Beeston,
Mariakerke and Middlekirk (Ostend),
Deal and elsewhere.
It is evident that one of the chief
recommendations of the system will be
its low cost, since, as the average
height of the groynes above beach lev-
el is not more than two feet, they can
be made of very light construction, so
much so that a length of about 660 feet
has been constructed in a single tide.
Up till now they have been built of
Ni
wood, and In some places the teredo
has extensively attacked them, so that
in order to combat its ravages it is
now proposed to construct them of re
inforced concrete after the design of
Dr. J. 8. Owens, In order to reap the
utmost benefit from groyning, it seems
advisable that the groynes should be
carried out as far as possible beyond
low-water level, so as to intercept to
the greatest extent the offishore cur
rents, although every coastline will be
a law unto itself.
It is remarkable how much solid
matter the sea will carry in suspension
and how much also it may be made to
deposit in this manger, though it must
be understood that shingle and quite
large pebbles are just as readily ar
rested as is fine sand. Not the least
advantage due to the use of groynes is
their action in causing an accumulation
at the base of sea walls from which
they run.
Formerly all groynes were placed
at right angles to the beach, and the
Case'system has attained to success by
adlfering to this plan; there is, how:
ey'er, a movement now in favor of plac-
ing them at an acute angle under cer-
tain circumstances. It is beginning to
be recognized that to secure the .best
advantages, every local condition—the
direction and play of the shore cur
rents, the prevailing winds, the slopes
of the coast, the rise of the tide, the
direction of the. coast, the nature of
its constituents, its position with re
gard to neighboring ccast and the set
of the tides—must be properly taken
into consideration.
Excellent as low groynes have
proved to be, they have failed in cer-
tain places—St. Margaret's Bay, Kent,
and Glenbeigh, County Kerry, may be
cited—and it is probable that this is in
some measure due to an incomplete ap-
preciation of every factor. Anyhow,
it seems highly probable that given
favorable conditions, acute-angle
groynes may very well be the best, and
in one instance, at least—at Lowe-
stoft, where the low water mark has
been driven back some 150 feet—they
have proved to be so. The erection of
these groynes was due to Lieutenant J.
0. Williams, R. N., who is consistent
in advocating the theory that acute-
angled groynes are generally prefer-
able to those at right-angles.
Practically speaking, Lieutenant
Williams takes advantage of the Case
system of low groynes, but he puts
them at an acute instead of a right
angle, and in places throws out spur
groynes from them. Certainly success
has attended his first experiments, but
an equal or even greater success has
been accomplished with the Case right-
angled groynes in other places, leading
to the belief that there may be a best
angle, varying from a right angle down
to a very acute angle, for every coast,
and that the conclusion reached by
some experts that there is no advan-
tage in departing from the former is
not jystified by facts.
It is quite probable that the theory,
advanced by Mr. RR. G. Allanson-Winn,
of groynes partly at right angles (from
low-water level up to mean-water
level), and then curving into the land
in an elliptical curve, would be found
very advantageous in places, combin-
ing as it does both the Case and the
Williams methods. A “compromise”
groyne of this description, with pos-
sibly one or two spur groynes, might
very well prove exactly what is want-
ed under easily imagined circum-
stances. It can, however, be accepted
that low groyning of whatever form
has so far proved the best agent (and,
in most cases, a thoroughly reliable
one) for inducing accretion, and so
stopping or retarding corrosion.—Lou-
don Times.
A Great Change.
He entered timidly. He stood be:
fore the editor, twisting the brim of
his soft black hat with long, white,
poetic fingers.
“I am sorry,” said the editor. “1
am very sorry. But we cannot use
your poem. This is final.”
Tears welled up in the young man’s
eyes. He swallowed,
“Why ?” he said.
“Well, to be candid,” the editor re-
plied, “neither in prosedy nor in con-
struction is this poem meritorious,
The idea is old. The sentiment is
maudlin. The expression is atrocious.
The rhymes are vile.”
But now a light, as of great joy;
illumined the poet's face, and he cried
eagerly:
“Give me back the manuscript. Give
it back to me.”
“Very well,” said the editor; “but
1 don’t see what you can do with it.”
“Set it to music”! cried the poet.
“Make a popular song of it. With the
qualifications you ascribe to it un-
doubtedly it will be the hit of the
season,’ —Philadelphia Record.
Encouraging.
A friend of his was lying ill, and
he “went to see him to cheer him up.
“You look. uncommon bad, Joe,” he
ssid. “Yes,” said the sufferer. “Madd
your will?” inquired the consoler, “be:
cause I should if I were you.” Therd
was an awkward pause, during which
the visitor left. A moment later he re!
turned. “I say, Joe,” he observed;
“yours is awkward stairs to get a
coffin down. Good-bye, Joe; good-bye”
A Funny Mistake.
A policeman, going his rounds in the
early morning in Bath, England, saw
a clock standing on the doorstep of a
house. He rang the bell and found
that the occupant had taken the milk
pitcher up to his bedroom, leaving the
clock where he had intended to put the
pitcher.
HOW SALT COOLS COFFEE,
Chiles Trick of Putting Cellar In Cup I
Worth Knowing.
Between bites of the simple break.
fast he had ordered, says the New
York Mall, the young clerk gazed ner:
vously at the restaurant clock. It was
plain he had overslept himself, and
was paving the way to future imdiges.
tion by bolting his food. The coffee
was the stumbling block. It was hot,
very hot, but the clerk needed it bad:
ly and he sipped it carefully, having
due regard for his mouth and tongue.
But time pressed, and with a parting
glance at the clock he reached for his
glass of ice water and prepared to pour
some of the frigid fluid into his cup.
“Don’t spoil your coffee, young man,”
said an elderly gentleman who was
cating his breakfast on the other side
of the table. “You take all the good
out of it by putting ice or ice water in
it”
The clerk avas at first inclined to re
sent the interference, but the patriar.
chal appearance of the other man tem:
pered his resentment,
“What am I to do?’ he asked. “I
am late for the office, and I want this
coffee badly.”
“Let me show you a little scheme,”
said the elderly man. Taking the
cylindrical salt cellar from the table,
he wiped it carefully with a napkin,
then reaching over deposited the glass
vessel in the cup of coffee.
“Salt, you know, has peculiar cooling
properties,” he said, meanwhile hold
ing the receptacle firmly in position
“They put it with ice to intensify the
cold when making ice cream. It ie
used extensively in cold storage ware
houses for cooling purposes, and being
incased in glass does not affect its pow:
er to any great extent.” >
As he spoke he withdrew the salt
cellar from the coffee and motioned tc
the younger man to drink. He raised
the cup to his lips, and to his surprise
feund the liquid cooled to such an ex
tent that he could drink it without in
conyenience.
“The uses of salt are manifold,” said
the elderly man, with the air of one
beginning a lecture. “I remember once
when I was in Mexico-5—""
But the clerk, with another glance ai
the clock, thanked him profusely and
dashed out of the restaurant.=
, According to the Letter
There are some literal-minaea per.
sons who are never satisfied with the
spirit of the law, but who consider it
necessary to enter into compromise
with the letter. Of such was an old
citizen of Hopkinton, N. H., a good
many years ago, and his juggling with
his conscience is recorded by Mr. Lord
in the records of the town.
The old man used to boast that he
never went back on his exact word,
but had no ecompunction in going round
it. Once he wished to buy a certain
tract of land, and when the owner
named the price he exclaimed:
“I won't give it! I tell you I will
never give it!”
The owner did not yield, neverthe:
less. A few days afterward the old
man called again. He said nothing
about the land, but stepped into the
owner's barn and picked up a flail,
“What's that?” he asked.
“That? Oh, that's a flail.”
“So you call that a flail, do you?
Well, what would you take for it?”
The owner named a very small sum.
“Now, I'll tell you what I'll do,”
continued the old man. “I'll give you
the price you mentioned for your land
and this flail. And you mustn't forget
the flail. It must be included in the
deed.”
So the legal instrument was duly
made out, signed and delivered, re-
cording the purchase of a certain tract
of land situated thus and so, and
bounded as follows, and also a certain
flail.—Youth’s Companion.
A Walk in Chancery Lane.
Those who love to bait a rod, who
"ean handle a frog as though they loved
him, and those who think that though
God could doubtless have made a bet-
ter berry than the strawberry ‘‘doubt-
less God never did”—all these should
take a walk down Chancery lane, Lon-
don, and look at “what was then the
seventh house on the left hand as you
walk from Fleet street into Holborn."
For there lived Izaak Walton, who
died in 1683; and an appropriate dwell
ing place it was for him, since nearly
opposite, “in St. Dunstan’s Church-
vard, under the Diall,” the first edition
of the “Complete Angler” was pub-
lished. And a good example of an
early publisher's “puff” was that iv
the “Mercurius Politicus” for May
1658: “There is newly extant a book ol
18d. price, called the ‘Compleat An
glory being a Discourse of Fish an!
Fishing, not unworthy the perusal of
most Anglers, Printed for Richart
Marriot, in St. Dunstan's Churchyard
Fleet street.”
—————————
Born That Way.
‘A member of the House from New
England tells Harper's Weekly of an
occasion when he overheard the amus:
ing colloquy between the late Thomas
B. Reed and a barber.
The “tonsorial artist” was inclined te
be talkative, but all his efforts at con:
versation the big man from Maine re:
turned only a monosyllabe or a grunt.
Finally, the barber patted the cran-
fum of the Speaker,. whereupon vo!
posed one or two stray locks, saying
“The hair's gettin’ pretty thin. Been
that way long" '
“I was born that way,” dryly re!
turned Reed.
Rubber Tree 1lls.
When the ‘leaves of the rubber tree
turn black or brown it is an indica
tion of too little sun and too much wa
ter and low temperature. These con
ditions should be remedied, the plan
turned out of the pot and examined
and good drainage supplied to the soil
LOVE AS IT IS GRAMMARED.
I vow I'm caught by Cupid's ruses,
(If not by his'n, why then Ly whoses?)
When on thy bosom rest red roses,
Oh, how I wish that I were thoses;
And when thy cheek is kissed by breezes
"Tis then that I would fain be theses.
E'en when I reach my last long bourne
I'll wish my chance might be like yourn.
~Lippncott’s Magazine.
REPORTERS AT THE DOOR. *
The Czar—“Count, what shall I give
out?”
Witte—“Oh, that you have given in.”
And thus the Czar's inflexible will
became a flexible counstitution.—Mil
waukee Sentinel.
GOT IT BETWEEN THE EYES,
“It will be soon enough, Miss Gwinm
ple, if I return this book the next
time I call, won't it?”
“Why, certainly, Mr. Feathertop
There's no hurry about it. Any time
within the next six months will do.”
Chicago Tribune.
SO THERE, NOW.
“Jack, that old friend of yours told
me he remembered me when [ wore
dresses up to my knees.”
“He did, eh” What did you say tc
that?” asked her husband.
“Why, I told him I didn’t care if he
did!"—Detroit Free Press.
SATISFIED.
“Did you read my novel, Criticus?”
“Well, I read as far as the chapte:
where the hero was shot, and then 1
quit.”
“Oh, but the hero recovers in the
vext chapter.”
“I was afraid he would. That's why
[ quit.”"—Cleveland Leader.
MANY THANKS.
Roy (who has been out to tea)—
“Mrs. Freeman's cake is better than
ours, mama.”
Mama—"I
vou,” nicely.”
Roy—"0h, yes, mama.
times.”
Mama—*“You need only have said it
once, dear.”
Roy—“But I had five pieces of cake.
mama!”’—Punch.
hope you ‘said ‘Thank
I said it five
IN NEW YORK.
“That was a terrible crime com-
mitted yesterday.”
“It was so. Have the police made
any progress toward apprehending the
guilty parties?”
“Oh, yes. They've persuaded the
newspapers to take the matter up.”
=
THAT'S THE QUESTION.
“It was only five years ago that I
started in with our firm at $5 a week,”
said Bragg, “and now I earn $50 a
week without trouble.”
“That's so; it's easy to earn that,”
replied Newitt, “but how much do you
get?’—Philadelphia Ledger.
SHOES IN STYLE, ANYHOW.
_ Saymold Storey (eyeing him with
gtern disapproval)—“W’y don’t ye pay
a little more ‘tention to yer clothes?”
Badleigh Mildude—“If ye don’t like
it ‘cause I ain't wearin’ a pair o’ open
work socks, let me call yer pertick’ler
‘tention to me open work shoes, ole
man.”—Chicago Tribune.
THEY KNEW THE ANSWER. !
“You never can tell how children are
going to apply things,” said a public
school teacher.
“The other day I asked the class
what a fort was. One boy answered,
‘A place to put men in.’
“ “Phen what's a fortress? said I.
“+A place to put women in! ex.
claimed the class in unison.”
IN WHICH THEY DON'T SPEAK:
Gerald—“Grace and Gladys are such
dear girl friends.”
George—*“Yes, but like other dear girl
friends their friendship reminds me ot
an old-fashioned drama.”
Gerald—*In what way?”
George—*“There are so many inter.
missions.”—Louisville Courier-Journal.
A NATURAL INFERENCE.
Six-year-old Fanny, just returned
from Sunday-school, seemed to have
something on her mind. “Mother,” she
said, after a while, “they must have
had very large beds in Bible times.”
“Why ?’ asked her mother.
“Well, our teacher told us to-daj
that Abraham slept with his fou
fathers.”—Harper's Weekly.
OUTSICE HELP.
Devlin—*“All you got for that mug
azine story was $10? You didn't mike
days’ wages on it.”
Tomwalker—*“Oh, I don’t know. I'he
manufacturers of the particular pake
of automobile that figured in that
story have sent me a check for ahun:
dred in token of their appreciatin of
it.”—Chicago Tribune, /
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