——
et sn ev—
THE COUNTRY STORE;
Far out beyond the city’s lights,
Bway from the din and roar,
ericket chirps of summer nights
eath the country store.
drygoods boxes ricked about
ord a welcome seat
ot weary tillers of the ground,
ho here of evenings meet.
A swinging sign of ancient make,
And one above the door,
fProclaim that William Henry Blake
owner of the store.
everything, from jeans to tweed,
m silks to ginghams bright,
{@s spread before the folk who need
un early morn till night.
a Borgar coffee (browned or green),
_ Molasses, grindstones, tar,
8 ders, peanuts, navy beans
* _ And homemade vinegar,
@ combs, wash wringers, rakes, false
oo hair, .
Paints. vice and looking glasses,
Bide saddles, hominy, crockery ware,
And seeds for garden grasses;
fawn mowers, candies. books to read,
‘Corn planters, household goods,
Mobacco, salt and clover seed.
Horsewhips and knotted hoods,
ned goods, shoe blacking, lime
nails,
Straw hats and carpet slippers,
Prunes, buttons, codfish. bridal veils,
Cranberries, clocks and clippers;
and
.
Umbrellas, candies, sevthes and hats,
Caps, boots and shoes and bacon,
Thread, nutmegs, pins and rough on rats,
"For cash or produce taken.
Bird sced. face powder. matches,
Ink, onion sets and more
Are found in neaps and stacks and piles
Within the country store. :
—Atlanta Constitution.
Faas
KINGHUK, THE WOLF DOG
By WINTHROP PACKARD.
2 Po
FIRS SINGLE EE
EE who travels to the far
files,
BRLLELE
RO NN NR
%*%X northern shores of Alaska,
H near Point Barrow, finds
x there a type of Eskimo dog
which seems to be a direct
descendant of the gray
wolf, and is singularly like its progzen-
ftor in appearance. The purest of the
awolf breed is now rare in other parts
of Alaska, for the great rush of civil-
fzed men to the gold fields has brought
With it dogs of all varieties. The dogs
of the pure type are great, gaunt fel-
fows, with shaggy hair that is almost
black in many instances, and grows
fongest about the shoulders, giving
them a sort of ruff that adds to the
fierceness of their appearance.: They
mever bark, their cry being a mournful
howl, quite like that of the wolf.
They are inured to desperate hard-
#hips, and lie out in the snow and the
lArctic night unprotected, although the
ghermometer may be fifty below zero,
and it seems as if all living things ex-
posed to the sweep of the Arctic gale
must perish.
Perhaps it is the instinct of wolf-pack
foyalty surviving, but whatever it is,
dogs of the wolf breed are singularly
faithful to those who bring them up.
Hence, buying dogs of the natives in
Arctic Alaska is rarely successful. If
you manage to keep the dog he is likely
ko pine away. It is rarely that you
can keep him. A pup taken from its
ww Bitive owners when but a few weeks
old Awill remember them, and follow
them years after, if not tied up, and it
fs utterly useless to try to keep a
grown dog when purchased.
A notable instance of this is the story
pf Kingmuk, The Faithful, who came
with other dogs and a party of Es-
kimos from far inland to visit the
whaling station at Point Barrow.
Mr. Siem, who was a new man in
charge of the station, and, although a
good whaleman, little skilled in shore
jife, bought many of these dogs, and
tied them up with ordinary dog chains,
. Early the next morning the natives
started for the interior, and when Siem
svent out to inspect his purchase, he
found every chain but one snapped.
Ant ordinary dog chain is of little use
with one of these dogs; they had sim-
ply followed their masters.
All but one had gone, and he had
been fastened with an extra heavy
chain. That was Kingmuk, who came
to be surnamed The Faithful. He was
an old dog then, and his strength had
not been equal to the chain,
Some weeks later Kingmuk was re-
. fedsed. His owners were now hun-
_ dreds of miles away, and the blowing
snow had long obliterated their trail,
‘for the terrible Arctic winter had al-
ready set in, Yet this had no terrors
for Kingmuk, and he set forth imme-
diately to find his friends.
All winter he trotted over the frozen
wastes, far and mear, in search of
them. He avoided the whaling station
and the mativevillages alike, and sought
neither food nor shelter from mankind.
How he lived only the wolf wisdom of
centuries could fathom, but he did live
somehow, and reports of him came in
occasionally from up and down the
coast and far into the interior, some-
‘kimes.a hundred and fifty miles away.
He was recognized by his very
shaggy hair and the remnants of a
deerskin sled harness, which still hung
on him. He never was seen to lope or
walk, but kept up a steady dog-trot,
now circling the country in wide
sweeps, now quartering it like a hunt-
ing dog in search of game, always
seeking, but never approachable.
In the rarefied atmosphere he was
sometimes taken for a deer, and
stalked by the hardy Eskimo hunts-
gen, who brave the severest Arctic
fvinter in search of game. At night
fie was shot at for a wolf—by mistake,
for no hunter would wittingly have
farmed him—yet lhe always escaped
fnjury, and came to be looked upon
by the natives with a touch of super-
setition as a mysterion. wandering
_epirit, perhaps a dog of the Nunatak
people—the ghost folk of the winter
night.
So the winter passed, the sun came
unbroken circuit, and with the summer
came the interior natives once more to
visit and trade, Kingrouk met them a
hundred miles out, and followed them
to the station, although their reception
of him was hardly overcordial, A dog
more or less mattered little to them,
and Kingmuk was gaunt and weak
from his winter's chase, and aging
rapidly.
He found an old, or made a new,
dog friend, a dog older than he, and
when the natives left for the interior
once more the two went with them.
What happened to the two during the
winter no one knows, but in the spring
Kingmuk returned to the station, bring-
ing his friend with him. But it was
too late to help the older dog. He could
neither eat nor drink, and soon died.
The thaw had hardly begun, and his
body was dragged out on the solid ice
of the lagoon and left there, Kingmuk
followed as chief mourner, and lay
down by his dead comrade in mute
sympathy and sorrow.
Henceforth his home was by the
side of his comrade, and except when
he came to the station—once a day—for
food, he remained there. When the
lagoon began to thaw, Kingmuk went
to the nearest bank to lie; but seeing
the water rising, and that his friend
did not follow, he went out on the
flooded ice and dragged him ashore,
where he again took up his post beside
him,
Through the brief summer Kingmuk
thus remained, undisturbed, respected
by all in his devotion, and no attempt
was made to separate them until the
winter's snows came again, Kingmuk
was rapidly growing weaker, and it
was seen that he could not long with
stand the severe weather. Every in.
ducement save force was offered to get
him to come to the station to be cared
for, but Kingmuk remained faithful
to his mourning, and the first blizzard
of the winter covered the two, still ly.
ing side by side.—Youth’s Companion.
To Detect Cotten Thread in Cloth.
The difference between wool and
cotton is very great, and in the case
of separate threads of each is plainiy
apparent, yet when these same threads
are closely interwoven some good
judges are mistaken and buy mixed
cotton and wool goods, firmly con-
vinced that there is not a thread of
cotton in the cloth. It is the custom
of all mills’ that manufacture cotton
and wool mixtures to run the cotton
crosswise in the looms, thus leaving
the wool to run lengthwise. This is
done for two purposes: First, to im-
part the glossy appearance which the
longer stretch of wool thread gives
when run in the length of the goods,
and secondly, because the proportion
of cotton is necessarily less and there-
fore more difficult to detect. The cot-
ton thread. of course, is much smaller,
and very difficult to distinguish in
closely woven fabric. There is one in-
fallible test, however.
Take a bolt of goods at the cut end
and examine closely the crosswise
thread, slowly pulling it apart. If it
breaks almost evenly and comes apart
slowly then one is safe in judging it
to be all wool. If, on the contrary, it
breaks in short, uneven strands and
falls apart easily, refuse to accept the
goods, for it is undeniably cotton, and
will not give satisfaction. It were far
better to get an all cotton or all wool.
—Men and Women.
On Dutch Waters.
“I. ean think of no more reposeful
holiday,” says a writer, ‘than to stop
on board of one of those barges
wedged together in a Rotterdam canal,
and, never lifting a finger to alter the
natural course of events—to accelerate
or divert—be carried by it to, say,
Harlingen, in Friesland. Between the
meadows; under the moses of great
biack and white cows; past herons
fishing in the rushes; through the vil-
lages with dazzling milk-cans being
scoured on the banks and the good
wives washing and the saturine smok-
ers in black velvet slippers passing the
time of day; through big tows, by
rows of sombre Lhouses seen through a
delicate screen of leaves; under low
bridges crowded with children; through
narrow locks; ever moving, moving
slowly and surely, sometimes sailing,
sometimes being towed, with the wide
Dutch sky overhead and the plovers
crying in it, and the clean west wind
driving the windmills, and everything
just as it was in Rembrandt's day and
just as it will be five hundred years
hence.”—Chicago News.
Versed in Pig Language,
We find in an exchange the follow.
ing account of an advertisement in an
English paper. We do not think that
there will be a rush of our farm labor-
ers to fill this vacancy.
Wages of farm laborers in England
are enticing. An advertiser in the
Wimbleton, England, Gazette, wants
“a lad about twenty; must be a
churchman of good education, who can
drive a horse and cart, assist in the
stable and garden (melons and cucum-
bers), milk cows and understand the
pigs; must be accustomed to wait at
table, and of gentlemanly appearance;
early riser and tectotaler; good refer
ences required.” 'The wages of this
farm hand of diversified accomplish
ments are to be $50 a year, but he
must lodge out and furnish his own
meals, except dinner.
His Lite in Prison.
Frank Hope, fifty-nine years «Id,
who had served thirty-nine years be
hind prison bars, pleaded guilty in Chi:
cago recently to a charge of swindling,
and was sentenced to the penitentiary
for ten years. Hope was released from
the Joliet prison the latter part of last
August.
For Old Ministers.
Daniel Francis, of Des Moines, Iowa,
has given $30.08 for the erection in
that city of § for aged and worn.
out ministg e Methodist Episco
Again, and finally swung the horizon in
pal Chu
JSTON spends many thou:
sand dollars a year in mak-
ing sure that everybody in
the city that buys anything
by weight or measure is
certain to get his money's
worth. All this is accomplished through
the office of the sealer of weights and
measures,
The title of this office is not a mis-
nomer., On the contrary, it expresses
with perfect accuracy the function ex-
ercised by th e official who bears the
name. He is literally a sealer of
weights and measures, and every
weight and every measure used by
anybody in the city to sell or buy goods
must. receive the seal of the official
before mentioned.
There ave many different kinds of
goods that are sold by merchants of
high and low degree in Boston by
weight or measure. The list of com-
modities is a long one, and includes a
great variety and diversity of mate:
rials, from peanuts to diamonds.
In the sale of these many and vari-
ous articles, different kinds of weights
and measures are employed. All these
weights and measures are adjusted to
the nicest accuracy by the officers of
the sealer.
The law on the subject says that the
sealer of weights and measures shall
annually give public notice to ali in-
habitants or persons having a usual
place of business who use scales,
weights or measures, for the purpose
of selling any goods, wares, merchan-
dise. or other commodities, or for pib-
lic weighing, to bring in their scales,
weights and measures to be adjusted
and sealed.
The same section also provides that
“in those cities and towns where a
salary is paid to the sealer of weights
and measures no fees shall be charged
for such services.
In compliance with the provisions of
the foregoing it is customary for the
sealer to notify annually, in May, all
such persons as are referred to by the
statutes, by publishing the required
notice in the daily papers, to bring to
the office their scales, weights and
measures, to be tested and sealed.
At any time after this notice the
sealer may go to the houses, stores and
shops of persons mentioned who have
neglected to comply with the notice,
and having entered, with the assent of
the occupants, shall adjust and seal
their scales, weights and measures, and
shall be entitled to compensation.
The list of persons whose weights
and measures come under the super-
vision of the city sealer includes all
merchants who sell any commodity,
like milk, which is sold at a fixed price
in bottled quantity.
Some of the great grocerymen of
Boston sell hundreds of bottles of milk,
for example.
Every bottle which is intended to be
used for milk must pass through the
hands of the sealer. Accordingly, there
are always hundreds and sometimes
thousands of these bottles of varying
capacity in the offices of the sealer in
the basement of the old Court House,
and there are always half a dozen men
busily engaged in testing the capacity
of the vessels and in stenciling on the
glass with a diamond marker the ap-
proval of the city sealer of the bottles
which are found to contain what they
are claimed to contain.
The sealer’s inspectors are not per-
mitted to examine one vessel in a case
and to approve of the whole case by the
sample examined. They must examine
each and every bottle, and they must
reject, moreover, not only the bottle
which contains less than it is claimed
to hold, but also the bottle which holds
more than its alleged capacity.
There are half pint, pint, quart, two
quart bottles and jars that are used to
hold milk. Nobody may sell any of
these bottled quantities of milk until
the vessel has been sealed by the city
sealer, who by his seal testifies that
the vessel holds all and only that for
which it is sold.
In the course of one year the sealer’s
office tests more than 120,000 wet
measures, including milk cans, and of
these measures nearly 6000 are found
incorrect and adjusted and about 4000
are found incorrect and condemned.
All inaccurate glass vessels are con-
demned. That is to say, they are sent
back to the factories, and it is pre-
sumed that they are destroyed.
The vessel which contains more than
it is alleged to hold is condemned for
more than one reason, but the sealer
says the chief reason 1s to protect the
seller against loss due to his own mis-
take. *
But this is only a small part of the
gealer’s work. Throughout the city
are many scales, of capacity ranging
from 5000 pounds to 150 tons. The in-
spector must visit these scales and test
them, and in the course of a year ahout
~00 ot such giant scales are tested.
The sealer charges a dollar for tests
like these, and for testing scales under
5000 pounds capacity lhe charges fifty
cents.
For testing various other weights and
measures the prices run as low as
three cents for butchers’ scales and
wet measures and yard sticks.
These charges are made only when
the inspector leaves the sealer’s office
to do the work. There is no charge at
the office.
The sealer has a very large collec-
tion of all kinds of false or *skin”
measures and weights.
coal basket, for instance, that having
once been examined and approved, was
falsified by the owner | by drawing
i
City Sealer of Boston Tests Hundreds of Thousands of
Weights and Measures in a Year to Make Sure
That a Pint’s a Pint and a Yard's a Yard.
————————
He has a char- |
tighter the hoops around the basket
and taking away from the top,
Long experience has taught the ine
spectors to discover almost at a glance
that a weight or a measure is false,
The sealer's office contains false milk
cans, coal baskets and peanut holders
and inaccurate jewelers’ scales,
All the bank scales of the city which
measure out gold must be tested from
time to time, and the sealer has all the
slaborate and costly apparatus for do-
ing this work,
Whereas the sealer’s office in a year
axamines and tests hundreds of thou-
sands of weights and measures for the
purpose of preventing all kinds of
frauds and shams, the office is equipped
with facilities for other sorts of tests
that have nothing to do with the de-
tection of erimes.
It has. for example, some beautiful
and expensive balances that are used
in testing the weights that chemists
and other scientists habitually employ
in scientific investigation.
Among the troy balances are some
nsed by apothecaries which are sensi-
tive to one-quarter, one-sixteenth and
oven to the one-thousandth of a grain
weight.
The very daintiest thing in the office
ts a standard metric balance, with
aluminum beam and agate bearings,
which is sensitive to the one-twentieth
of a milligram, a quantity so small
that if it rested on the back of your
hand you couldn't perceive it by any
sense of weight or touch. This little
instrument cost $200, and another in-
strument of the same description, but
larger, cost $400.
There is an avoirdupois balance for
tasting fifty pound weights, which is
sensitive to a grain, and one platform
balance, with a capacity of 300 pounds,
which is sensitive to a quarter of an
ounce.
There is a bank gold balance there
which will weigh $10,000 worth of gold
and record a difference in weight of a
quarter of a grain.
There are various boxes of complete
sets of ¢ metric and standard troy
weight. The gold weights are from
1-100th of a grain up to 3000 penny-
weights, and there is a set of diamond
weights which will weigh from the
one-sixty-fourth of a carat up to 300
carats.
These are the most curious and valu-
able of the weights, but there are any
number of other kinds of weights
which are cheaper and more common
as well as more generally serviceable.
There is another instrument in the
office of the city sealer which has been
ased by many thousands of citizens in
the last twenty years. It is the great
scale which will tell you your weight
with absolute correctness to a quarter
of a pound, and it has with it a measur.
ing rod which will tell you your height.
- -Boston Globe.
Her Mistake.
here is one young woman in this
city whose benevolent disposition re-
ceived a severe shock last Sunday
evening. She was at church, and sat
directly behind a tall, well-dressed
stranger with a ravelling hanging in
his collar.
Being one of those generous-hearted,
whole-souled girls, who grow up to be
motherly old ladies, a friend of every
body in town, she thought how glad
she would be if some kind-hearted girl
would do as much for her father were
he to go to church with a ravelling
hanging down his back. So when the
audience rose for the first hymn she
concluded to pick it off.
Carefully raising her hand she gave
a little twitch, but it was longer than
she supposed, and a foot or more ap-
peared. Setting her teeth, she gave a
pull, and about a yard of the horrible
thread hung down his back. This was
getting embarrassing, but, determined,
she gave it another yank and discov-
ered that she was unravelling his
undershirt.
Her discomfiture was so painful that
chloroform would not have relieved
her sufferings nor a pint of powder
hidden her blushes when the gentle-
man turned with an inquiring look to
see what was tickling his neck.—
Curious Dentition.
A queer freak of dentition is reported
from Vienna. The other day a man of
thirty presented himself at one of
the hospitals, complaining of pain in
the nostril and difficulty of breathing.
oxamination by Roentgen rays led to
the discovery that one of the upper
teeth had struck its roots into the nos.
tril, and was compressing the tissues.
Ordinary extraction by forceps: was
impossible, and a surgical operation
became necessary. This was per
formed and succeeded perfectly. The
man is now leaving the hospital with
hig trouble quite gone.—London Globe,
Progressing.
“How is your daughter getting along !
in physical culture?’ inquired the vis-
itor of Mrs. Goldrox.
“Pine!” replied Mrs. Goldrox. “She's
got so she can read an’ write it now,
and the professor says he’s going to
give her Latin an’ chiropody next
month. I think them foreign lan-
gwidges are fine, don’t you? --Mil-
waukee Sentinel.
A Rich Find.
Professors Usteri, of Zurich, aud Rit
ter, of Geneva, while searching for the
archives of the Reinhart family at
Winterthur, found nearly a hundred
uppublished letters of Mme, de Stael.
They are to appear shorily.
Detecting Errors in Weights
HOUSEHOLD
5 AFFAIRS
or
Clhieesecloth dusters will remove all
dust and give a polish to wood floors,
windows or’ mirrors, If given the fol-
lowing treatment: After washing,
sprinkle them with kerosene and let
them dry thoroughly. They will not
be greasy, but will do much more
effectual work than the ordinary dust
cloth,
REPAIRING THE WALL PAPER.
Wall paper that bas become bruised
or torn off in small patches and can
not be matched may be repaired with
ordinary children's paints, Mix the
colors till you get as nearly as possible
the desired shade, and lightly touch
up the broken places, and at the dis-
tance of a foot or two the dfsiigure-
went will be quite unnoticed.
CLEANING WOODWORK.
Careless people sometimes disfigure
woodwork by scratching matches al-
most anywhere, says the Brooklyn
Citizen. To remove these marks, ap-
ply lemon juice, rubbing hard—and
then use soap and water. Finger
marks on polished surfaces may be
taken off by rubbing with a flannel
dipped in turpentine, .
CLEANING THE GILDING.
Fly marks and general griminess
may be removed from gilding by dip-
ping a small piece of cotton in gin,
and with it rubbing gently over the
soiled parts. The cotion wool should
be squeezed before being applied to
the gilding, for this must not be made
really wet, and any damp on it should
be dried by the fire as soon as the
marks have been removed,
TIMELY HINTS,
cauliflower salad is recom-
mended: Select a nice looking cauli-
flower, trim and wash it. Cook it in
salted water to which has been added
a small spoonful of butter. ‘When
tender take it out, throw it into cold
water and divide it into flowerets.
Then take them from the water and
arrange them in a salad bowl, sprink-
ling them well with chopped parsely,
and serve very cold with a castor of
salad ingredients.
Oe ——
CPoUSEHoLp™,
7%” RECIPES™ i
mest nr tn rao
This
Maitre D'Ilotel Sauce—A heaping
tablespoonful of dripping, the same of
flour, half a pint of hot water or
stock, chopped parsley, a little curry
powder and the juice of one lemon.
his is for all sorts of roasts and
baked fish.
lice Fritters—To a cupful and a
half of coid, cooked rice adé a table-
spoonful of sugar, the yolzs of twe
eggs, a cupful of milk and sufficient
flour to make a thick drop batter. Add
a teaspoonful of baking powder with
the last portion of four, and lastly
fold in the stiffly-beaten whites of the
eggs. Fry as usual and serve with
maple sirup.
Corn Fritters—Stew one can of eorn,
strain off the juice and press the ker-
nels through a colander. To this meat
add one-half pint of milk, one level
teaspoonful of salt and a saltspoonful
of pepper. Add the yolks of three
egos and one pint of pastry flour sifte
with a rounding teaspoonful of baking
powder. Mix thoroughly and fold in
the beaten whites of the eggs. Drop
by teaspoonfuls into extremely hot fat
and when sufficiently drained serve
with maple sirup.
Brown Sauce—Wash and scrape 8
small carrot, half a turnip and an
onion. Cut them in thin slices. Put
two ounces of butter or good dripping
into a saucepan and let it beil. Add
the vegetables and fry them brown—
not black. Shake in one and a halt
ounces of flour and add one pint of
stock or some hot water containing
two teaspoonfuls of extract of beef.
Stir them all till the sauce boils, then
draw it one side to simmer half an
hour, Strain after seasoning.
Orange Fritters—Peel two oranges
and slice in thin pieces. Dip in a
batter made from one cupful of flour,
a rounding teaspoonful of butter, a
tablespoonful of sugar, a pinch of salt,
the yolk of one egg and a half cupful
of milk, Fry in hot fat and serve
with powdered sugar or the following
sauce: Beat the yolks of two eggs
with half a cupful of sugar. Add
the grated rind and juice of half a
lemon, two teaspoonfuls of vanilla,
and cook over hot water. Stir vig.
orously until it thickens and cover
with the whites of the eggs beaten
stiff. Serve at once.
Fried Apples and Onions—These
form a novel dish, but are delicious if
eaten with strips of fried bacon. Do
got peel the apples but slice them cross.
having the slices a half-inch
Have the onions parboiled and
cold. With a sharp knife slice these
rather thinner than the apples. Cook
slices of bacon crisp in a pan, and re-
move them to a hot platter. Fry the
onions and apples side by side in the
bacon fat, unless there is too little of
this, in which case add a little butter.
When brown, put the onions and ap-
ples on a hot platter and arrange strips
of fried bacon about the edge of the
platter. Serve very hot, and as free
{rom grease Aas possible. To attain
this end it is well to lay each one of
the fried slices on tissue paper for a
ainute after taking it from the pan.
wise,
thick.
PESSIMIST.
He remembers all his troubles—
That keep him nice and sad;
But can’t remember half a day
The pleasures that he’s had.
~Detroit I'vee Press.
THE
ARTISTIC.
“My, how youthful Miss Passe is
looking this evening.”
“Yes: she looks as if she were eligi
ble to membership in the Painters’
and Decorators’ Union.”
—
NOT A DOUBTER.
“1'd have vou know, sir,” said the
pompous individual, “that I'm a sei
made man.”
“AL. indead!” rejoined the meek and
lowly person. “I though there was a
home-made air about you.’ Chicago
News,
PLAY WAS ACCEPTED.
Aunthor—“I've something new in the
way of a melodrama.”
Manager—“How's that? Doesn't the
villain come to grief?”
Author—“0h, yes, he comes to grief
all right, but he doesn’t say ‘Curse
you.”
THAT'S THE QUESTION.
“It was only five years ago that T
started in with our firm at $5 a week,”
said Bragg, “and now I earn $50 &
week without trouble.”
“That's so; it's easy to earn that,” res
plied Newitt, “but how much do you
get »"—Philadelphia Ledger,
IN NEW YORK,
Visitor—“Why is it that the police
stations keep open all the time?”
Native — “That is to give the law-
breakers a chance to come in.”
Visitor—"*“To come in?” :
Native—“Yes; if half the eriminalg
didn’t walk in and give themselves u
the police would never catch anybody.”
POOR CHILD.
Mrs, Hanagan—"“My! but the Aherns
are crazy-mad.”
Mrs, Flanagan—“What's the matter
wid thim?”
Mrs. Hanagan—*In an absint-minded
moment they christened their baby
‘Aloysius Patrick.” Jist think o’ the ins
tials of him.”—Catholie Standard and
Times,
INSPIRED.
io y
Master—“What do we get from the
seal?”
Bright Boy — “Sealing wax, sir.’—
Ally dloper.
NO CHANCE TO RISE.
“Why do you object to my sweets
heart, father?” murmured the daughter
of the high life insurance official. “He
is poor, it is true, but so were you
when you married.” *
“It isn’t the poverty that I object to,
child,” replied her father, not unkind-
“The trouble lies in his utter lack
This fellow
iy.
of business qualifications.
| actually appears to be honest.”
NO PLEASING HIM.
“Jigsby Las been at home sick for &
couple of days, hasn’t he?”
“Yes, and he doesn’t seem to like
‘comments on his personal appearance.
He got mad on two occasions to-day—"
“Does he really look changed?”
“Not particularly, but he got mad
first when his rival in love told him he
‘looked miserable,” and again when his
employer remarked that he seemed
‘healthy enough.’ ”—Philadelphia Press:
NO PROFESSIONAL OPINION.
Caller—“Doctor, how long ought &
man of sedentary occupation, whe
takes zood care of himself, to live?”
Doctor—*Referring to yourself, I pres
sume. What is your occupation, may
I'ask?’
Caller—*I run a—er—Iloan agency.”
enough to restore what you
rohbed your victims of, and then you
ought to be taken to jour reward aud
1 don't charge you anything for tha
opinion, either.”—Chicago Tribune.
ONLY ONCE.
“Can you honestly say that you were
never afraid in battle?” asked the tactls
cian of the old veteran with a wooden
leg.
“yell, no, I don’t think I could say
that,” was the reply.
“Then you were afraid?”
“Yes, but only once.” ’
“Have you any ebjections to giving
me the particulars?’ :
“Not at all. I had lent the captain
pf my company $10, and when we wera
rushed into a fight and I saw him tak:
{ng the lead and exposing himself
fas afraid he'd get killed and I'd losq
ty money,”—Columbus Dispatch. *
Doctor—"You ought to live just long ‘a
havd ©
\
*
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