-
—
; “fool thing iike that.
THE SONGS OF THE FOUR WINDS,
The South Wind.
Gently stirring fern
Softly, slow
X Stealing sweets {r
hisp’ring
Through a world of
To the old North h
With the breath of
Do I blow.
The East
Damp and raw from t
Through canvas and r
With the stringing ta
1 lash the crews of
And fishwives weep w
Tangle of froth an
Bodies uptossed on
and palm-tree,
om rose and cereus,
low; ’
fragrant wildness,
ringing mildness,
spice and orchid
‘Wind.
he Nord of Jove,
iggin madly beat;
ng of the ocean's salt
the flying fleet;
hen they hear my song:
d sullen roar;
frozen shore.
The West Wind.
he rush of wild horses,
1 weave into rhythmic accord
Of pine of the mountain a
The song that I sing is the
The crashing of comets thr
The earth’s deep heart throb
All sorrows and joys in its
The ust of the desert, the ges of the prairie,
e rustle of grain,
with the odors
nd sje of the plain.
ong of the open—
ough infinite space, |
bings, the murmur of rivers—
measure find place.
The North Wind.
From the frosted harp
I strike chill chords as
Of blistering cold and b
Of frozen specters, of 1
Of dim caverns and s
Of dazzling stretches of
Of miles upon miles of
And, over it all
of the God of Ice
I sing to men
linding snow,
iving woe,
plintered air,
glacial glare,
eckless white;
The crimson and gold of the Northern Light!
Bo
The Fox Drive
—Booklovers’ Magazine.
at -—
. Pleasant Ridge
BY EMMA SEEVERS JONES.
Peak, the singing school
master.
“Naw,” said Tobias
Strong, taking careful aim
a box of ashes already well saturat-
with a fertilizing solution of nico-
, “what's a bull-fiddle?”
“It's a contraption calcurlated to
make you wish you were in the here-
Miter or hadn’t left the heretofore,”
aid McPeak.
“What's it fur?’ asked Tobias.
“Fox-drivers, bellings and things
_pnerally where a noise is wanted,”
aid McPeak.
“Where'd Lije git it?” asked Tobias,
squinting his eye at the box of ashes
for a more sure aim.
“Made it,” said McPeak.
“Made it?” queried Lije.
“Yes,” said McPeak, “Lije can do
anything from Knitting a garter to
mwing logs. Never saw but one thing
2 my life that Lije couldn’t do if he
set out to.”
“What's that?’ asked Tobias, with
terest.
“Get away from the Widow Barker.
Ye tried it, but couldn’t make it,”
Aid McPeak, with a mournful shake
i the bead, “’twas a great loss to the
Jountry when Lije got married.”
“Where'd he go to?” asked Tobias.
“0, he’s living over on Pleasant
Ridge, but don’t amount to nawthing,”
aesponded McPeak.
“Sho, McPeak,” remonstrated Deacon
Plunkett, “Lije’s all right. Bein’s
you've never married you've no right
0 jedge in such matters. Lije's settled
down like a man orto when he's mar-
tied.”
“0 yes, he’s settled down,” admitted
McPeak, sarcastically, “he’s settled
#0 hard that he never cracks a smile
gnless the baby cuts a tooth or some
Lije used to be a
t one,” he added regretfully, ‘‘be-
] the Widew Barker got hold of
”
“Ah, well, McPeak, everybody hes
© be a fool sometime,” drawled Tobias,
#till eyeing the ash-box. ‘Where's th’
dull-fiddle?”
“Yes, where is it?’ echoed McPeak.
*That’s what I'd like to know. No-
body knows excepting the Widow
Barker, and I guess she'd die before
she'd tell.”
“What's she got agin
Tobias.
*0, what's any woman got against
anything?’ responded McPeak, “es-
pecially widow women?”
“Now, McPeak,” again interposed
Deacon Plunkett, “you know that the
Widow Barker nor no other woman
sver liked to heur that bull-fiddle
played. They hain’t one of ’em thet
ever heard it but would a busted it if
the could.”
“Must be a queer soundin’ thing,”
commented Tobias, ‘“what’s it made
av?
“It’s jest a old powder keg with one
end open and a drum-head stretched
over the other end, and a leather shoe-
string drawed through the middle of it
Into the keg,” explained Deacon
Plunkett.
w ’t sound so all-fired bad,” said
Tobias.
“I guess you'd think it sounded pretty
all-fired something if you took a hand-
ful of rosin and pulled along that
shoestring,’ said McPeak. “It made
an end of Lije anyhow. The Widow
Barker never’d got hold of him if it
fiadn’t been for that bull-fiddle and
the Pleasant Ridge fox-drive.”
“Tell us about it, McPeak,” came
frem the crowd of men that always
was gathered in Uncle ‘Jake's grocery
at Cedar Narrows.
“Well,” said McPeak, * twas one sun-
shiny morning in spring when the
ground bounces to your feet and the
air feels like Georgy and you can’t keep
from whistling any more than the
Jambs can keep from kicking up their
heels on the hillside. It’s too early to
plow and the wood-pile hair’t all
cleaned out yet; and the women folks
don’t want you around because the
“house is all littered up with old pants
and petticoats that hes to be cut up
it?” asked
way for spring cleaning. You're tired
of the grocery and feel like you'd hev
to whoop and yell or something would
bust, so you get up a fox-drive.
“Lije and another fellow started out
by daylight with his bull-fiddle. They
knew where there was a fox den over
on the hill, back of where old Ab
Loomis lives. They calcurlated to run
the fox hid there out into the drive
which didn’t reach that far.
“On their way over there Lije and
the other fellow took turns in scraping
that bull-fiddle. Lije hed a pocket full
of rosum and they tried to see which
could get the worst noises out of that
old powder keg. When they passed Ab
Loomis’ barnyard old Mrs. Loomis was
out doing the morning’s milking. When
the old red cow heard the noise made
by Lije and the other fellow she give
one jump with’her tail in the air and
upset old Mrs. Loomis with the milk-
ing stool and three buckets of milk.
The rest of the cattle stood around
and snorted, while old Mrs. Loomis
got up and began to yell bloody murder.
“@ld Abe and his five sons sprung up
from the breakfast table and Lije and
the other fellow saw them making
towards the barn and they thought it
was time for them to skeedaddle.
“They didn’t play another tune un-
til they got into the woods near where
the fox den was. The old fox hedn’t
been back long from a visit to Ab
Loomis’ hen roost and was settled
down with his nose between his paws
for a good long snooze.
“But Lije’s bull-fiddle spoiled his nap.
At first Mr. Fox didn’t think much
about it and went on with his dreams,
but as the noise, the like of which he
hed never heard before, swum all
around him he hopped to his feet and
shot out of the bushes like the cork out
of a bottle of elderberry wine.
“Lije saw the red whisk of his taii
through the trees and shouted, ‘There
he goes!” and him and the other fel-
low started after, yelling and scraping
on that bull-fiddle.
“They chased around in the woods
awhile and then come out into the
road leading towards Ab Loomis’.
“Jiminy whiz! said the fellow with
Lije, ‘here comes old Ab Loomis with
three of his boys a horseback a carry-
ing guns,’ and grabbing the bull-fiddle
he darted behind a tree, leaving Lije
to face the music alone. They expected
a fuss was brewing on account of old
Mrs. Loomis and the milking.
bere lately ? asked old Ab of Lije.
“ ‘Hear enny strange noise around
scrape to that bull-fiddle. Old Ab and
bis sons turned back, but just then
Lije sighted the fox and he and the
other fellow took down over old Abs
pasture field and forgot all about the
tiger, being anxious to get the fox out
into the drive,
“There ware about forty men and
boys with drums and fifes, old tin
pans and conch horns, pawpaw whis-
tles and firecrackers, stretched out into
a five mile circle ready to close in on
any fox that happened around.”
“Warn't there enny guns an’ dawgs?”’
asked Tobias, who, finding the excite-
ment too much for his aim was now
standing directly over the ash-box.
“No,” said McPeak, “no dogs nor
guns allowed on a fox-drive. Some of
the men ware horseback, but most of
them ware a-foot. The ones that didn’t
hev anything to play on were whoop-
ing and yelling like all get out.
“Along in the afternoon they began
to close in on two foxes, one of them
being the one Lije and the other fellow
hed chased out and the other one was
the one that hed give them the slip the
year before.
“The meet happened to strike in
Widow Barker's apple orchard and the
foxes chased from ome place to an-
other trying to get away.
“Lije kept the bull-fiddle going and
the circle kept getting smaller and
smaller till there waren't ten yards
between the men and the two foxes.
The poor little brutes kept running
from one side to the other and the
men kept sawing away at the noise
till finally when they got up close to-
gether and Lije give an unusual out-
landish scrape to that bull-fiddle the
fox that he and the other fellow hed
chased out of the woods laid down and
panted a little and then toppled over
dead.” .
“What ailed it?” asked Tobias.
“It was just naturally scared to
death,” said McPeak, “it hed run all
the forenoon from the sound of that
bull-fiddle and when the tarnal noise
come right on top of it that fox fell
over as dead as a door nail.”
“An’ th’ other fox?” asked Tobias.
“The other fox,” said McPeak, “got
away like it had the year before. Si
Slocum got so excited over the dead
fox that he let the'live one out be-
tween his legs. The men and boys
went, some mad and hungry, all but
Lije, and if he’d known what was
good for him he’d hev went with the
rest.”
“What'd he do?” asked Tobias.
“0, he just throwed his bullfiddle
down under an apple tree and, took
after that fox, him and the other fel-
low. They ware pretty near onto it
once, but it got away at last. Lije
was so excited he'd done with the buil-
fiddle. One of the Barker children
found it and nearly drove his mother
crazy with it until she laid hands on it
and nobody hes even seen it from that
time to this.”
“Didn’t Lije git it agin?” asked To-
bias disappointedly.
“No,” said McPeak, “he didn’t. He
went over one day about dinner time
to get it, but the Widow Barker asked
him to set down and eat. Lije being
hungry didn’t know any better than
to do it. She hed spareribs and Lot
biscuit and maple molasses and she
finished Lije up then and there.
“When I saw how things ware going
I tried to reason with Lije.
“‘Lije Patton,’ I says, pointing to
the Pleasant Ridge burying ground,
‘what do you see over there?
“‘Nawthin’ but tomb-stones,’ said
Lije, a& careless as you please.
“Well,” I says, ‘do you see that tall
square one with the picture of a pigeon
on top of it?
“1 reckon,’ said Lije, beginning to
stand on one foot.
“ ‘How many names air on it? 1
asked.
“‘About two, I guess’ said Lije,
shifting to the other foot.
“ “Whose was put on it last? I asked.
“Jonathan Barker's, I reckon,’ said
Lije, looking hot and uneasy.
“ “Whose do yeu suppose will be the
next one? I asked. solemnly.
“By gum! McPeak, said Lije, ‘it
won't be mine if I ean help it.’
“And he never went near the Widow
Barker’s for three weeks. Not till the
Widow Barker sent for him to come
up and she'd give him his bullfiddle.
He went up about supper time and
“Well, no, said Lije. taking off his
hat and scratching his head, ‘can’t say
that I hev.’
“ ‘Funny,’ said one of the boys,
tracked th’ noise up this way.’
“ ‘What wag it like? asked Lije as
innocent as a cat that feeds on cream.
“‘Can’t tell ye what it was like,’
said old AD, ‘never heard nawthin’ of
th’ kind before.’
“Lije was beginning to enjoy him-
self and said as he climbed to the top
rail of the fence:
“ ‘What'd ye think it might be?
“‘A tiger, said one of the boys.
“Tiger? said Lije, surprised.
“‘Ye see, said old Ab, ‘Mariar’s
brother come on a visit last week an’
he said that Dan Rice’s show passed
down through Olive Green on the way
to Tennessee and one of the wagons
upset and let th’ animuls out. They
ketched ’em all but one an’ it took to
th’ woods. Mariar’'s brother warn’t
sure whether it was a lion or a tiger.
“It went past the barn this mornin’
when Maw was milkin’,” said one of
the boys, ‘an’ it jest erbout scared her
an’ th’ critters to death.’
“‘Ge-rundygut? said Lije, ‘ve don’t
think it’s around here, do ye?
“ ‘Shouldn't wonder but what it was,’
said old Ab, ‘they’s a reward o' fifty
dollars offered for it an’ we thought
we'd see if we could track it down.’
“ ‘Pritty resky business I s’d think,’
said Lije.
“ ‘Yes, but fifty dollars is a pile of
money an’ we thought we'd try fer it,’
said old Ab as him and the boys rode
on. \
“Lije a he
the groun
‘we
other fellow rolled on
gughing fit to kill
they were married in less than a
month.
“I tell you,” concluded McPeak, “if
ever a widow woman gets after me
I'll pack up my duds and leave.”"—
Farm and Ranch.
Sugar as a Sustainer and a Stimulant.
The Minneapolis Tribune gives a
reportorial interview with George
Hackenschmidt, the “Russian Lion,”
who is reputed to be the strongest man
in the world. Mr. Hackenschmidt's in-
junction to his interviewer was that,
if you would be strong, eat all the
sweets you can, and if you cannot get
the puddings and pastry you like, buy
a lot of chocolate candy. He remarked;
however, that one should always get
the best practicable and that cheap
sweets were bad for the digestion.
While Mr. Hackenschmidt’s extraor-
dinary muscular devolopment and his
undoubted good health are the founda.
tions for his wonderful stréngth, at the
same time, his comments accentuate
the wonderful nutritive and stirculative
value of sugar, which has been £0 much
discussed of late, and to the many
adaptations of sugar for human as well
as animal food.
Mixed History.
Around the great striking figures of
history the small boy weaves curious
answers. “Moses’ mother pitched his
little cradle within and without with
pitch and left him there in the pool of
Siloam. But when the daughter of
Solomon got the green leaf from the
dove she hastened and brought food
convenient for him, and the babe
#nto quilt pieces and got out of the
themselvg ive another
court.”’—Century.
| in the wild state eat enough to keep
crowed thrice and grew up in her|®
THE AWAKENING OF ENGLAND,
A Sarcastle Skit in London Truth Which
Hints at a Sad Predicament,
The intellectual invasion of England
Is the most grave circumstance of the
time in this country. We have surren-
dered our conscience, character and
customs to the United States and to
France, while strenuously preparing to
defend ourselves on sea and land
against an attack that neither the
Americans nor the French even dream
of making.
The following program of the daily
life of an ordinary Englishman will de-
velop the thought simply:
8 A. M.—He awakes in the flat which
has been adopted from France or the
United States.
9 A. M.—Reads a newspaper which is
conducted according to American meth-
ods.
9.30 A. M.—Rides to the city on a
tramcar or a motor car that has been
Introduced into England from America,
10.30: A. M.—Transacts his business
upon principles which he has copied
from the Americans.
11.30 A. M.—Continually using the
telephone that has been perfected by
an American.
1.80 P. M.—Has for luncheon French
dishes which have been cooked by a
Frenchman.
6 P. M. — Joins his wife, who is
dressed in the latest French fashion,
and has spent the day as American
women are supposed to occupy their
time.
7.30 P. M.—With his wife and his
daughter—who enjoys the liberty that
American girls possess—dines at a res-
taurant according to the French cus-
tom, and during dinner they talk with
much of the impropriety which is sup-
posed to be common in France.
9 P. M.—They attend a dinner at
which there is performed a play that
has been adapted from the French.
11 P. M.—They end the evening by
having supper at a hotel which has
been designed on an American pattern,
and is controlled by an American-
trained manager, having hurried
throughout the day, as do the Ameri-
cans, and devoted his whole attention
to the pursuit of wealth according to
their example,
12.30 A. M.—He retires to bed, his
wife being attended at the last by a
French maid, who finally switches off
the electric light that has been adopted
from the United States.
The conquest of the English is com-
plete; England, however, is safe!—Lon-
don Truth.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
Kindness is contagious.
Money in purse dispels melancholy.
He loses his market who has nothing
to sell.
The sins of the heart are the heart
of all sin.
The man who does not fear failure
seldom has to face it.
The preacher’s practice is the real
peroration of his sermon.
Never is happiness more clear than
when founded on clean-heartedness.
You can afford to despise the Bible
when you have grown beyond its level.
There is more worship in the music
of the heart than in all the art of
music,
Death is only the one who has gone
to get tlre home ready coming to take
us to it.
My head is resting sweetly upon
three pillows, infinite love and infinite
wisdom and infinite sacrifice. — John
Elias.
If you are poor and weak and help-
Jess and of little account, these are only
extraordinary reasons why God should
care for you.—John G. Stevenson.
Suffering becomes beautiful when
any one bears great calamities with
cheerfulness, not through insensibility,
but through greatness of mind.—Aris
totle.
ae cet —
Stufiing Cattle.
Everyone knows that the East can
not compete with the West in beef pro-
duction. But everyone knows of a new
scheme for raising beef that is profit:
able in the East, or wherever land
and feed are high. This new plan
might be called ‘forced feeding,”
since the animal is marketed at twelve
or fourteen months instead of four or
five years, as was done a generation
ago. There is an intimate relation be-
tween the length of the feeding per-
jods and the gain in weight. Animals
themselves and maintain a vigorous
bodily condition. They may take on
extra fat when food is plentiful to tide
themselves over the season of scarcity.
Man has interfered with natural pre-
cesses for the purpose of securing
greater production. One of the chief
objects kept in mind in animal breed-
ing is to secure breeds which can cop-
sume the largest possible gyantities
of feed and make good and profitable
use of it.—Country Life in America.
The Athletic Girl.
To some people the athietic games-
girl is peculiarly distasteful. Her greet:
ing is boisterous, she grips your hand
as though it were a hockey stick, she
nods to you familiarly and treats you
as a camarade. At all events, she
has generally a pleasant whiff of hon-
esty about her, she is devoid of par-
Jor tricks, and she is easier to guide
than the sniggering miss.—Hearth and
Home.
By Cow Train.
Three covered wagons from Minne-
sota, drawn by nine milch cows,
passed through here for the country
west of the Missouri River. In addi-
fion to making fifteen miles a day
with their loads the cows furnished
ilk for the movers.—Miller Corre
»
The Ostrich Inn at Colubrook, Mid-
dlesex, England, has had an uninter-
rupted existence since the far-away
days of King John.
Peter the Great, it is said, borrowed
the idea of the Russian flag from the
Dutch, among whom he learned ship-
building. He simply turned the Dutch
tricolor red, white and blue, upside
down.
A Barton County woman who is
suing for divorce introduces as testi:
mony a twenty-year-old newspaper
which calls her husband a dog. She
says the paper was right then and is
right now.—Kansas City Journal.
The Miller brothers on their grea’
“101” ranch in Oklahoma this yea!
have a melon patch of 12,000 acres
And there are signs put up all around
this field saying: “$5 fine for any one
who goes through this patch withou!
taking a melon.”
The Seven Stars, in Manchester, wat
a licensed public house in the year of
Poictiers (1356), two-thirds of a cen
tury before the cathedral was found
ed, and it boasts to-day a staircase
clock which began to tick ever so long
before Dr. Johnson was born—nearly
two centuries ago.
Seth Nation, father of James, the As
sistant State Auditor of Kansas, hat
no fear for the number thirteen. Hd
was born on April 13, enlisted in the
war on August 13, was nominated
treasurer of Neosho County on Sep
tember 13, and was inaugurated or
October 13, and has had thirteen chil
dren,
The Moor prepares butter in an orig
inal way, and gets a different tast
from the usual one. Fresh butter hl
despises and uses only for cooking. I
must be old if it is to be liked. After
it has lain in a hole in the ground foi
some years and has got a certain ap
pearance it becomes a delicacy.—~
Creamery Journal.
A writer in the National Geographi
eal Magazine describes a peculiar king
of fishing in the South Sea Islands
JLhe fruit of a tropical tree, the Bar
ringtonia speciosa, is crushed and tie(
in a bag. Soon after it has been low
ered into deep water the fish begin to
appear on the surface apparently dead,
being drugged by the fruit. The na-
tives then catch them in their hands.
SUCGESTION FOR A PLOT.
A Writer Wonders Why a “Thriller”
Hasn’t Been Built Arcund Ambergris.
The death at Provincetown of one of
the luckiest finders of aitbergris sug:
gests the query why this rare and re-
markable substance has not been as
signed a more prominent place in liter.
ature. One of the most important prop-
erties for the “thriller” is some article
which combines great value with small
bulk, and can therefore be easily ab:
stracted or hidden in a sealed drawer.
Usually it is a jewel, sometimes an
amulet or ring of rare ancient work-
manship, frequently a will or an en
velope of valuable papers. But why
not try a lump of ambergris? It is
rare enough, certainly, since in fifty
years only about a ton has ever been
found, and, unlike gold or diamonds,
the visible supply is constantly being
used up in the arts. A whaler that
brings in twenty pounds of ambergris
from a cruise is accounted rarely for:
tunate, and of one which in sixteen
years took 190 pounds it was remarked
that the cost of the vessel was paid
three times over from this item alone.
Another of its possibilities lies in its
deceptiveness. It is the veritable
“fool's gold” of the sea. The lumps
of ambergris picked up by strollers on
the beach and enthusiastically de
scribed in the local papers usually
turn out to be common tallow. There
is no romance in gold mining by the
cyanide process; even the operations
in the diamond fields, for all their
great “finds,” have come down to the
mere devising of elaborate systems te
protect the companies from being
swindled. But in the hunt for amber:
gris there might still be found the
spirit of real treasure trove.—New York
Post.
eee emt,
Automobilia of Punbad the Railer.
Judge not an auto by its sell; all
comparisons are odorous.
A tack in the tire is as a thorn in the
flesh; both are tiresome.
It is a short ride that hath no mend-
ing.
All does not go that glitters.
An auto is not without odor save in
its own front seat.
Say not, “We shall return at five;”
ye may return at sixes and sevens.
Oils well that ends well.
Approach railroads warily, lest they
lead thee to heaven.
Though thou swear by thine auto
seven times, the eighth thou wilt swear
at it; that is Kismet.
The horse goeth not ten parasangs an
hour, neither doth he explode.
To speed is human; to be caught is—
fine !—Century.
Appearance Before Quality.
Laboring under the mistaken im-
pression that the whiteness of wheat
bread determines its quality—skat the
whiter the bread the better—the Par-
isian public has for years been grow-
ing more and more exacting on this
score, and therefore the fineness of
in flour has been gradually ap-
proaching a limit. The public has, as
a consequence, received a less nutritive
food.—8clentific American,
spondence of the St. Paul Dispatch.
MEANDERING MIKE'S CONCLUSION:
Now what's the use of sittin’ down
An’ agitatin’ of my mind
An’ tryin’ hard to win renown
An’ Jeavin’ other folks behind?
The neighbor Tox that reads a book
Cause he gits licked uniess he do,
Has made me take another look X y
And kind o’ changed my point of view.
He says that Shakespeare never wrote
Them pieces that the boys recite,
And lots of sayings that we quote
Is plagiarisms left and right.
An’ Phi we call the real stuff
An’ put up in the museum hall
Was nothin’ only jest a bluff
An’ sometimes never lived at all.
This world is sech an envious place!
It doesn’t seem worth while to try
To benefit a human race
That is so quick to pass you by.
So what’s the use o’ sittin’ down
An’ struggle-in’ for pomp or fame?
They'd only take my laurel crown
Off’'n my forehead, jes’ the same!
—Washington Star.
“Yes,” said the veteran of many
wars, “I have participated in seven-
teen engagements.” “What!” ex»
claimed the pretty grass-widow,
“And you are still a bachelor?’—Chi-
cago News.
Mrs. Quiverful—*“Tommy, did you
give your little brother the best part
of that apple, as I told you?’ Tommy
Q—‘“Yessum, I gave him th’ seeds
He can plant ’em an’ have a whole
orchard!”—Cleveland Leader.
He selleth best who writeth best
All things both great and small;
Yet ev'ry scribbler hath one gem
That will not sell at all.
— Life.
“Phat man,” said the proud friend,
“went into politics a poor man and
came out of it a poor man.” “Well,”
answered Senator Sorghum, “all I can
say is that there must have heen con-
tributory negligence oa his part.”’—
Washington Star.
Mamma—“When that naughty boy
threw stones at you why didn't you
come and tell me instead of throwing
them back at him?’ Little Willie
“Huh! What good would it do to tel
you; you couldn't hit the side of 9
house.” —Washington Life.
“I want to complain of the flour yot
sent me the other day,” said Mrs
Newliwed, severely. “What was thi
matter with it, ma'am?’ asked ot
grocer. “lt was tough. My husban
simply won't ect the biscuits I mad
with it!”—Philadelphia Press.
A study of men rather clearly reveals
Of truth this significant sprig:
A man may be fully “as young as he feels,”
But it’s seldom he’s truly as big.
—Saturday Evening Post.
Physician (looking into his Sierecnl
where a number of his patients ar
waiting)—“Who has been wailing the
longest?” Tailor (who has called i
present his bill)—“I have, doctor; I de
livered the clothes to you three yeart
ago.”—Glasgow Evening Times.
“So they smashed your laundry and
looted your cash drawer,” said the po!
lice judge. “They did,” answered the
intelligent Chinaman. “And what aid
you do?’ “Nothing. They followed
the usual custom and convinced me
that It was to my interest to remain
neutral.”—Washington Star,
Mrs. Brickrow—'How do you man‘
age to persuade your husband to buy
you such expensive bennets?’ Mrs
Topflatte—*1 take him shopping with
me, walk him around until he can’
stand, and then wind up in a bonnef
store. He'll buy anything to get home.’
—New York Weekly.
Lecturer (onthe French Revolution)—~
“It is impossible to imagine the chaog
that reigned—confusion and anarchy
everywhere. In our more peaceful cons
ditions we can not even imagine such
a state of things.” Man (at the bach
of the hall)—“Yes, we can, mister!
Come up to our house; we're movin’.”"-
Pick-Me-Up.
Pacinotti’s Invention.
Some time elapsed after the develop
ment of the self-exciting machine be
fore the marvelous characteristic of re
versibility of function was discovered
with the necessary corollary, the elec
trical transmission of energy by the ny
of two similar machines, one to b
driven by power and to generate elec
tricity, and the other to receive elec
tricity and to develop mechanical
power. It is claimed that this vital
fact was discovered and described by
Pacinotti in 1867; but, if so, the dig!
covery remained dormant until 1873
when Messrs. Gramme and Fontain¢
independently demonstrated it at the
Vienna Exposition. The exact circum
stances of this discovery will probably
never be known, but one account says
that it was accidental, and was due t¢
the mistake of a workman who coupled
a machine to a live circuit and was
astonished to see it begin to rotate
This is a quite natural possibility, af
a similar thing has happened many
times in recent years.—Century.
Gothic Type Again.
‘According to the Berliner Tageblatt -
the short-sightedness of recruits is be
ginning to cause grave anxiety to the
German War Office. “Bismarck him:
self,” comments the London Chronicle,
“who had to take to glasses long be:
fore he was out of office, was strongly
of this opinion, though, from motives
of patriotism, he would not hear of the
abolition of the Gothic type, and inva-
riably refused the gift of any book
printed in Roman characters. But the
anti-Gothic party is now gaining
ground, and several newspapers and
numerous scientific works are printed
in Roman type, which the Emperor
himself is said to favor.”
‘
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