The Patton courier. (Patton, Cambria Co., Pa.) 1893-1936, September 02, 1897, Image 2

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    ward | just bad to spesk to somebody. You see,
story. Yet in spite
f starvation a jug of wa-
Kobbe in St. Nicholas
a i al school. (2) If ho paints the sky blue
were killed
the emperor muds. The brains
peacuck were considered a great
and many had to be killed for a
ofeast.
| The best slingers of the Roman army
_ | wera from the Balearic isles. Boys were
their dinners suspended from a tree and
being required to cut the string with a
sling stone ero they could dine.
oh
, yards,” replied the | A
barply exclaimed bis o
| didn't want to imow the time at al. I
school to w
or | If be paints the sky gray and the grass
ny | If he paints the sky green and the grass
» | bine, be is an impressionist. (4) If be
i paints
ks | purple,
{Odeon theater, she earned only $40 a
trained to early proficiency by baving |
; tuind to torn the exank of his breke and
the Cafe Jacob, in the
sabaret in an eb- |
That
a8 ‘mean snd '
a
ave | A woman who was traveling alone |
queer, my asking that,”’ she burst ont a
moment later, ‘but to tell the truth I
I'm on wy weddny trip, and for a whole
week I haven't spoken to a soul but my
husband. Why, I've hardly heard the
sound of any one’s voice but his It
{ was really 8 question of my speaking
tn some one or goiug wild. ""—Kansus
CityBtar.. =~ :
: Schools of Painting.
The Munich Jugend has discovered
| five new ign by which to detect the
hich a painter belongs. (1)
| green, ho belongs to the good old classic.
and the grass green, he is a realist. (3)
the sky yellow and the grass
he is a colorist. (5) If be paints
the sky black and the grass red, he shows
the possession of great decorative talent.
Sarah Bernhardt’s Vast Income,
In 25 years Mme. Sarah Bernhardt
has, it is announced, been paid §1,000,-
000 for her exertions on the stage, In
the last ten years her average gains
have been $80,000 a year; in the last
five, $100,000. Yet in 1873, at the
so Welcome at Least.
Young Playwright—And what did
you think of my climax?
Critio—1t was very weltome,—Scob
month.
| The emperor was
| give the signal to stop, and then we
1 shall see how your invention works ’’
a | readiness. The emperor entered bis car-
riage, the young inventor mounted his
engine, and on they sped
‘smiles as fast ss they cond
of came no signal, and the engineer began
y to fear that the
‘aeieep. Suddenly the engine came to &
|
| huge bowlder.
nm Here the emperor put his head out of |
ris car window and demanded to know
¢ the cause of the sudden stoppage. The
engineer pointed to the rock, and, much
luugh.
i
n- | on a preity crom street in that favored
. Joeality. Not long ago she was troubled
| ache. Finally her mamma tock her to a
| the best thing to do under the circum
‘1 stances was to have the tooth extracted,
the | she Inde him go ahead upd remove the
who | acher. After the operation was over she
sob | carefully wrapped the tccth in paper
n! and declared she wonld take it home |
‘upon lookiug mound, Jocated ber ins
| into the eavity of the extracted tooth,
on | Her mother denianded (he cause of this
rt | strange procecdivg
| Jooks nsharper,’’ he added in a whisper
I's | long ago discovered the fact. ‘It wants
some One cuter than me to get over that
Fem ¥ :
1 suspicion grew on we that the Jandiady
8} uals which I trought in for my own
| day 1 brougiic home 8 chop and 8 pound
8%] of new potatoes. Having counted them
way and finding that there were ten in nll,
k| | handed them over 10 be dooked. When
| the mes] was ready sud the covers had
'ngines
practical test.
mid be,
have
it coupled to my saloon carriage and
Then going at foll speed, 1 will
but wished to put it |
“Day after tomorrow,’
At the appointed time all was in
for several
mperor had fallen
sharp curve around the edge of a eliff,
when, to bis horror, on the track direct
iy ahead of them the engineer saw sa
fis had jost sufficient presence of |
pull the engine up within & couple of
yards of the fatal block.
to his surprise, Dom Pedro began to
| “Posh it toon side and goon,” he
said oxlmly
The engineer obeyed, and, kicking
the stone, was still foriher astonished
to see it crumble into dost before him.
It was nothing wore or less than a
block of starch which the emperor had
had made snd placed on the rails the
night before. — Harper's Round Table.
A Sweet Revenge.
It is claimed that this story originated
in Cleveland, a claim which may very
well be true, tecanse Cleveland, and
especially the east end, has more pre
eocious children to the ncre than Bos
ton conld boast of in her paimiest days
This particular precocious infant lives
with an anpoying and persistent tooth.
dentist, and the dentist interviewed the
troublesome tooth
After exasminisg it be told her that,
ss it contained a very large cavity, and
this was the sent of the trovlie
Braciug herself firmly io the chair,
Next day ber maming noticed that
she was an nnusosiiy good girl, and,
window seat indesthionsiy poking sogas
Why," she sid.
et SR ORAS
The Clpvér Landiady.
“You've got avery nice locking land. § wh
lady," said Biiking to bis friend Jil
kins, who lived in diggings, “hut rhe
“Yer, you are right,” replied Bil
kins, with the smile of a wan who bad
**You don’t I so."
“Yen, when 1 first came beve a strong
helped herself rather freely to the viet
I would stop ber litthe
1 thought Bo accordingly one
been removed, I strained my neck to
see the result of my little rose, when’
“You foend pesriy ball of them
gone, I suppose?’
“No, nothing of the sort. They were
washed. ~~ Pearson's Weekly
ARTA I » me
A Wandertul Operation.
wf suppres | performed the greatest
prop ical operat of the age,’ remarked
the youngest doctor in the crowd that
hoi Leon swapping experiences. “1 was
thi 1 i a run through British Colombia
on roy Eieycie when | was asked to at
tia ou yooug Indian whose stomach
Bi: Leen pierced by u rival's knife. |
hid po surgical appiisnces, but 1 fixed
ap the cut so shat the fellow was
arcund the next day and is strong aod
healthy vow,
“ How did you do RF"
briath, :
“Well, the ludians had slanghtersd a
bes f that duy. | picked out a nice, thin
piece of tripe, tied a sGing to it, cov-
ered it with tie cement, shoved it
through the wound and polled it into
place just ax if [ were mending a pune
ture in my tire. It was the greatest’ —
But the crowd had melted away. —
San Francisco Post
AA Rel PR mast
What Made Him Mad.
“Hamlet, my bonny Prince,” said
Garrick, encountering the melancholy
Dane on the staircose of the Stygian
Academy of Music, "tell me, were yoo
mad or were you pot?’ :
“Not until I saw yon play we,
David,” replied Hamlet. *'1 was crazy
over it for several days, But I have for
given you, ''~ Harper's Bazar.
Before and After Death. .
Wo usually belive in immortality so |
{ar as to avoid preparation for death
and in mortality so far as to avoid prep-
aration for anything after death. —Rus-
kin. :
in i bh a
% : in poking ropa i
jon | in the old thing Just (6 ve it ache —
m | Cleveland Plain Deiiier
‘secasions when she and arned iu
stenotor hdd hud = difference of opin
jon. As t who was {0 biame there
were two different views The one fa-
torable to the popil was held by the
young women. lhe iuatroctor did pot
Hivalge bis thw of matters But the
wicked ot gif! in the school wad bound OO Monrke Jedrned to his
to be rovenged She set ber with at’ that the umpirs bud ouiled
work, sud, going ndo the sohoolroom
where the sehitcl was sssembled ope
morning, the instructor discovered &
drawing, more or Jess artistic, which
represented the familiar scene of St.
Peter at the gate of paral 0
Before the reverend saint stood a soli- | «
‘tary wan whose features bore am op. |g
mistakable resemblance to those of the |
From the saint's |
instructor himself
mouth proceeded these words, written
in irreverent school girl fashion: “No,
Johnny''—the instroctor’s mame was
pense while the twitehing lips of the
broke into a hearty Inogh No," be
=1 shonid pot care to go in. H all my
«New York Times
Realism,
of the story page, '‘but there was one
thing sboet your mawascript thas 1
failed to understand. 1
minute that you were
peil.” : : a
| “If there is anything 1 pride mymelf
tm, it is being a good speller. 1 han
ten wished that | bad pot io the time 1
words of six syllables in
oulate compound interet.””
“i know that Your reliability in
thet respect made the sentence that I
pefer to all the more mysteriooe '’
“Maybe it was s slip of the type
writer.’ 3 : 3 -
“ Possibly. It would have looked ab:
surd if 1 had not happened to
continged in cor necks’
“And you changed it?”
Of ecaree.
story to be something yeni:
that's where we writers of this style of
Free Pres.
ene)
subject showed an effort at self control, |
said when at Just there was a pase, | 4
pupils are there, | should prefor to keep |
away. 1 have too much of them bere.” |
“That installment of your new story |
| was very interesting,” said the editor
pught for a |
ating bow 10 | ¢
Jer. 1 baveot- |
Appa eatoh it |
At the bottom of the last page, instead | igh
of writing, ‘To be continued in our | fy
next,’ wx is costomary, you put, To bei
fiction invariably get It from both the | the jargest
publishers aud the eritien "Detroit and we
{ers Jim bit » b
was foul by
hinking it was &
tear around the
Se aoh” on bin of
it .
foul. i mig
the mildest of foes, ‘that wasm's
fom Lo
“Yes, Jimmy, I'm sorry fo exy 8
.
Ca¥
Joho] esn’t let you in All your | cop
for you.’ There wns a moment of sos |
of
EO a evome it "in bur necks’ Dotause | niu
When traveling in the forests of Gui- | ypery
to
ur, though f€ may be still more appro
priately designated as the Angeins
bird, for, like the Angelus bell, it is
and. night. Its song, which defies all
elenrly and in such & resonant manner
that the listener,
oft ix the chapel and the bell & bird.
equal to his talent. Ho is an large as a
praceful in form and swift in motion.
ita beautiful head. It is
feathers on
length. —Guardian Angel.
tn Japan. The foreign honsewife has
| nothing to do, and she lives like a queen.
The Japaneses cooks are far better than
most American cooks, and $20 a month
will pay the board and salaries of the
hilp of an eight roows house. A certain
foreign resident in Tokyo who lives as
United States pays bis cook $5 a month.
His butler gets $2.50, and bis gardener
and seeond girl get abouts the same.
These sé rvants all board themselves, and
the cook does the marketing. The house
| resi costs less than $20 a month, and a
asked all ina, E
1 more. There is no tronkle in getting |
conchiman could be bad at $3 a month
| good servants, end they watch after
their employer's interests and see that
be is cheated by none other than them:
pelves, — Exchange.
Proprietors of stores where musical
instruments are sold say that many peo-
ple seem quite anable to discriminate
between snch establishments and those
in which printed music is dealt in.
As an instance it is related that a}
yOUDR man came into a plano store and
aaked:
“Do you sell piano pieces bere?’
“No.” apswered the salesman,
‘“mothiog but planes whole.”
The intending purchaser cpeped his
eves in a wide and puzzled way and
went out apparently wondering whether
the salesman thought he wanted a frag
{ ment of a piano. — Youth's Compasion.
Julnea Vig Parmisg.
England has three guinea pig farmers,
one of whom exports 150,000 yearly to
France, where they are used at resto
rants &s rabbits, the Baver of the Sesh
Fashionable young ladies in Japan
when they desire to look very attractive
gild their ips.
being identical in the two animals
The ivdustry is said to be very profit
able.
strokes of a bell, mcoeeding one an | or
two or thrive minutes, 50
But the most carious ornament of the |
Angelus bird is the tafvof black, arched |
conical in shape and about 4 inches in|
Servants are very cheap and very geod |
well ax a millionaire would in the
ines bimwelf to by near & chapel or»
¢onvent, but it terns ont that the for |
The beauty of the Avgelos bird ini p.
“Yard's fol} o Homelem Kates an
{ Wanderin Willies,” he explaived to
007. “1 knew an old Fitchburg Cateas
out 17 months, sn one of ours Was gone
15 "fore ever we gos track of ber. Dane
ipo q
around, 1 guess,”
Scribner's
Gold In Barsste’s Body.
A German paper is responsible
still move than the legendary king of
Pern, who was wont to have his body
gilded afresh every morning, 4
the title of El Derado—the “Man of
Gold "not deause of his wimith or
of his ecunection with gold mines, but
because his system actually meereted
gold. He wan, says this credible wu-
thority,
| metatlitis, his blood being persieated
with a powdery gold, as were his eyes,
nose, ears and all of his muecus mem
brape. The (min eassed by this condi
| tion wis so intolerable that itis be-
lieved to have been the cause of bis sul.
cide,
Well Regn, Balf Done.
First Reformer—I'm trying to write
an emny on the emancipation if my
sox, and I find is very bard to begin,
| Second Beformer—Oh, 1 think thas
would be so emy. Why, you might be
gin by sharpening your pencil with
your busba®il's Tamr, you know ~De-
froit Tribuns
If you wish to be happy, keep busy,
| fdlepess in harder work than plowiag a
good deal. There is more fun in swead-
ing an hour than in yawning a century.
BAY A,
700, 000 voluraes, the largest
{ever brought together before the inven
| Hon of printing.
Jim
%
the mapouncement ER Spenitle a ’
the victim of a diseuss called
The old Alexandrian library containel, is