%
~ North Eutaw street the other afternoon
was asale of small pigs.
‘thought it perfectly secure. In an un-|
p lek bound jumped clear out of it 8 York, rides in a very appropriate and 1
may aud saw l after it, ealking ta
gentleman to 5. it. With bis ass st-
i
nm EL pak § s
NS 4 Rete
"THE FAMOUS ALERT, =
A Historic Ship That Has Just Been Sold
For the Metal In Her.
al upop the Beauport shoals,
Quebec, lies the old steamship
Alert, which in 1875-6 was moored near-
of fo the north pole than any ofher ves- |
sel has ever been.
~ Bhewas the flagship of the Nares
otic expedition and lay all winter at
beach, 82 degrees 14 minutes |
north latitade. In 1883 she was present- |
ed by the British government to our
ent to take part in the Greely
relief expedition, and after that snccess- |
fol en she was returned with
thanks to the British. !
In 1885 she was loaned to the Cana-
- dian government to investigate the navi-
gability of Hudson strait, and to bring
- back the party of explorers left upon its
bank in 1884 by the Neptune. :
On this trip the Alert was comrmand-
ed by Captain Gordon, and for threo
weeks was jammed ip a field of ice. It
was her last northern voyage.
The imperial authorities presented her
to the Canadian government, and the
- latter, finding her at last unseaworthy,
after en: ploying her for some time in
the buoy si’d lighthouse service, sol 1 her
at guction ::veral davs ago.
She was © aght for $4,000 by a ship-
builder of Sr. John for the sake of her
old metal aud
York Sun.
He Wi: Peculiar.
Dr. I. G. Moore, ene of the most re-
.markable characters in Louisville, was
found dead the other night in a squalid
room at Eleventh and Walnut street
His death was the result of expuosare.
Dr. Moore owned property in many
parts of Louisville and for 20 years’
had rented it out to fallen women and
salesmen. Under no circumstances could |
he be made to rent to other classes. H
the women fell bebind in their rept, he
- would close down on them nd attach |
whatever they had. Inhisroom a dozen |
or so rolls of carpet thus obtained are]
piled up, while the floor is bare. He |
it was foolish to pot down a earpet |
only to wear it ont, when a floor would |
last a lifetime without one. He did his |
own cooking at an expense of about $2
a month, and never took a drink of
liquor outside of his room, where he,
_ kept a half gallon demijohn generzlly
~~ filled with cheap whisky. His estate is!
- estimated all the way from $75,000 to!
$200,000, and if he has any relatives
no one knows of them. — Exchange. :
» Lady pnd the Porker.
“A laughable incident occurred on
* which afforded much amusement to the
%yeirndors, bat pot the lady in a very
unpleasant position.
At the Lexington Street market there
She bought
one and piaced it in a reticule. She
guarded moment the litile pig with: a}
and darted for a side haliway
8 lady w ered a siigit sera of dis
‘apoe the (uunt wis recaptured, and then.
the fun bepun. The pi squesled and
bd its Ledy out of her Loads sev- |
wal times, she meanwhile on ker knees
ig heroio efforts to retain posses:
sion. f her prize. After repeated at-|
rebsllious pig was finally se-
ad with flushed face and soiled
the lady emerged, a victorions
sorely embarrassed woman —
€ American.
suBOUING. A TERROR.
Wh i fubuglonted wouleaai as be
. ray station on. the Buffalo; Roches-
1 heats? - ~
Bo repeater the assertion. with ad- |
is a dude who was smiok-
| here for” he replied in a nettled tone.
i asked.
| it—jaw too hor gnawer?’
- dirt und horséhair
other material, —Novw
ful nature about her rig.
| unassuming color is gsed, and a tidy
| chance—toss up. Defender lias none the |
worst of it.
i Valkyrie IIT’s Jee—well, there will be
| some bair singeing to get cut. Such
{| occurred at the sale of Langdon abbe
1{ recently, when $89 acres of land, with
farmhouse,
8 hang it on the knob where the wolf can
| see it.—Pick Me Up. :
p doctor, is hereditary. . Almost one-third
bails, and the SE ue Ware Shas the.
room |
uno GOT A OIL; NO cbr A WICK.”
Raflrosd Travel ™ China Seems to Have
Bits Drawbacks.
Having engaged a coupe in the train |
to Shang-I-Yuen, the only railway in
. all China, I fi und on entering the first |
class vesiibild car. that, like the rest of |
| the train, a8 horribly dirty.
; Dentistry In Oregon.
“When I was traveling through |
southeastern Oregon last mouth,’ said
: Attorney W. W. McNair to a San Fran- |
cisco Post writer, ‘I found myself in a
small village and with a large tooth-
ache. I found the local dentist, with |
his whirligig engine that résembled a
small lathe, at the livery stable clip-|
ping a horse.
‘‘ ‘Do you treat teeth? I asked.
‘“ ‘Course! What do you suppose I'm |
$
it)
fer, and for Answer was conducted to |
sther part of the train which appeared |
a Tittle cleaner, but still the conpe was
| very dirty and only had the advantage
of having a table, which the first one
' had not, it having been broken up by
some former occupant.
hy i - - After the train began to move a most
“ ¢T want it treated. How do you vile smell came from the adjoining oom-
treat a tooth that is aching? partment. On asking why such a state
‘“ ‘Well, I have one that needs atten-
tion.’ : ; : {
““ ‘Want it pulled or plogged? he.
* ‘Pall it or plag it.’ ‘ of things was permitted I was told that
“stink Chinese mandarins were a dirty people
had propor iceatment,’ | and did not understand any better. stand-
“ ‘Want 1 plagged, then? What is | ard of cleanliness.
And he tried | | Two young Cantonese are in the same
to fince a finger that was covered with carriage with me, snd I ask them why
into my mouth. I! ; the railway is| so badly managed and
had grown a trifle suspicions of him, so! the cars go dirty. They inform me that
“thought I would find out Ww hat sort of | they are related to one of the directors,
work he did. and that no doubt the dirt arose from
+ ** ‘Do you do bridge work? I asked. | the number of strangers who had travel-
““ #Not since I been practicin.
build a bridge across Cow creek when I | stand western sanitary arrang
was ranehiv, but I mostly confine my- | in fact, never were in a train before.
self to draggin fangs, doctarin horses 1 It has become quite dark, and we are
an barberin. { not provided with. a hight. I inquire
* ‘Dy yin ever transplant teeth? | the reason.
I tried that onct, but she “The Sicks are finish; no got a mora;
didi’t work. Ole Bill Robi'son had a no got a 011; not a wick,” is the reply.
tooth that was achin, an he wanted it. And so we gat in darkness till the end |
pulled. I got the wrong tooth. I tried of our journey, when we ste: sm into
to pat her back, but Bill hollered an cut | Shang hin a name which means
up £0 that I thought I'd try to trans- | in English ‘City of Hills and Sea Pass,’
plant it. | the famons frontier pass
“ ‘I sawed off the snags an riveted the maritime snd of China's great wail
it to Bill's plate o’ false teath, but she | ~—Paris Heral od,
wouldn't work. The first time Bill bit | : I
a bone with it the tooth swnng around | T° Parl mectitey Franehise.
in the rivet, an he bit a hole in the roof Men and w{men in
of his mouth as big as a hazel nut.’ { equally for towa conneils, lo
“I concluded not to have my tooth | Poor law So ans, vestries,
treated. The dentist was sorry and told | Wardens and school beards.
me that ‘if it was holler to heat a knit: shame, says the president of
tin needle hot an poke it in the teoth, Sarional nalon, extend
or. hold a chaw © terbacker in my tary franchise, §
mouth.’ ”’ | to every ignorynt klborer and
not only tothe iii oor, iiriase
ing woman, hag
cated Totnes who's 7 fener, ehu
and groom ca tir votes before
ber eyes, FX pa it-
lawed. As fo r th ara: iat Ww py
en as politicinnqw: woul: dratrov
this conld be saved if ,
Hao
~ay,
wal boards,
chuech-
For very
denied
Bicycle Contames Differ.
A sprightly writer from Paris who de-
votes much space to the bicycle craze in
‘‘tha gayest city in the world’’ says:
“Costumes differ widely, the average
—I speak of women — appearing in
bloomers of some order, while the aris-
tocrat generally clings to her skirt, ei- | conceded tliat fami iy ifé is mfinite
ther long or of a comfortable. demi- richer and OTE Ara tive
length, an occasional countess appear- | politics are pot tabooed on account of
ing in bloomers. The rider whq rides | the ignorance or ind: “ tenes of the fe
for the pleasure of it and not. for the | male members of tie | u~chald.
sensation she makes dresses in neat tai- | In questicns of jnicllcct women have
lor style, without anything of a fanci- proved. ther selves 1: t. cope with
! . Tweed or | men. Let Justice then be done tw bot’
twill in faced cloth of some dark and | Oyr ruler is a queen. yet still a pol’
tician. In the duties and ficulties of
her high and arduous office let hc-
daughters as well as her sous have th
privilege of helping her. Strike off the
-Jast shackles which cramp a woman's
energies and restrict her usefulness and
let justice triumph over prejudice amd
hypocrisy. | PL
WANTS A A BLANKET DIVORCE.
Yellow Bonnet | | Has Four Wives and
w to Be Free
Yellow Bonnet, a Cheyenne Indian,
bas applied for a blanket: divorce fro:
four wives at-Tologa, O. T. It is the
first time that ah Indian has sued for a
divoge® in Oklahoma.
Yellow Bonnet gives as his reasons
for his action that he has recently em-
braced thie Christign religion and cannot
live a polygamons life; also that his
wives bave refused to become Chris-
tiuns. He asks for the custody of only
one of his 19 children. -
It was at first thought that it was not
- necessary to ask for a divorce, as the
laws of Oklahoma forbid polygamy. A
few lawyers held to that idea, but other
lawyers contended that as he martied
the four wives under the tribal laws
recognized partially by the governs ns
and befere the statutes of Oklahoma ex-
isted, he could not be separated from
them except by process of the laws now
prevailing.
~ This opinion finally prevailed, and
the divorce application was filed. That
Yellow Bonnet is sincere in preferring
Christianity to four wives is shown by
the fact that each of the wives and chil-
dren has now a nice allotment of land
and several hundred dollars of trust
funds coming from the government.
The wives will consent omly to a
“blanket’’ divorce, for they are afraid
| to allow the cases to be taken up sepa-
rately for fear that Yellow Bonnet after
getting rid of three of them would keep
the fourth; and as there is intense jeal-
ousy existing among them the attorneys
could ‘not persuade them to consent to
single suits. —New York Recorder.
1, edu-
FTN
phi Fa
iii
Ti aliy OY
BM nw!
finith is added by leather gaiters, dog-
skin gloves and a close hat of either felt
or straw. Lady Terence Blackwood,
who was pretty Flora Davis of New
becoming costume. It is of navy blue
cloth, with a skirt half way to the an-
kles, showing brown suede gaiters but-
toned trimly over russet shoes. The coat
is fitted to the figure and buttons in
double breasted fashion, with small
lapels showing a snowy linen collar and
, shirt front, with a neat little scarf.
Tan dogskin gloves and an Alpine felt
bat in dark brown finish the costume,
Which is most becoming to her.'’
Opinton of an Expert.
Which will win?
In sea and wind, Defender, sare.
In light winds and roll of sea, De:
fender.
In moderate breezes— Valkyries best |
|
. In light winds, smooth water, very
‘close. Sixes and sixes. Can't call the
turn.
Will Defroder win three straight
Yes, if she has wind and sea and ev-
arything stands. There may be a break
! in light winds and smooth water. ;
In a sea and light winds the Defender
should win out thrice under these con-
diitons. :
The start will almost have as much
to do with the result as the weather. If
the Defewder gets caught under the
are my opinions, given just like other
people, and like all things that mortal
man does, they may be
mark. —A. G. McVey ia New York
May Be Hoist With His Own Petard.
Dr. Spitzka, the insanity expert, has
replied to Max Nordau's literary fan
faronade and shows that the Austrian is
not a medical expert at all, and that
his boasted knowledge is largely imag-
If Nordau keeps at it, perhaps
e end he will come into Dr. Spitz-
‘hands in a professional way, aa
© are signs of a disease abroad which
‘be termed Nordanism, and the]
‘bitten man is the great. iconoclast
imac. Philadelphia Proms
An Example of Depression.
Pe edion of Eaghioh sgriowli:
reer Chadee.
‘a womaa who has traveled largely
in Japan mentioned in the course of a
lecture the fact that the Japanese lan-
guage does not contain an impolite
word; hence there is. no swearing in
that happy land. She also steied that
csculation was an unknown pleasure.
favorably upon different points, an old
woman remarked in a voice loud enough
to be heard by all, ‘‘Well, for my part,
| prefer a country where they kiss and
cuss "'—Atlanta Constitution.
The Diamond,
None can tell where the diamond goes
*o in combustion. Burn it, and it leaves
no ash, the fame is exterior like that
of a cork, and when it has blazed itself
out there remains not even so much as
would dust the satennae of a butterfly.
‘stabling, homestead and
Artist—I painted this pictare, sir, to
keep the wolf from the door.
Dealer (after inspecting it)—Well,
At Gibraltar, darivg — famous
of its siege the Frene h commander,
learning that Elliot's men were suffer
ing from scurvy, se nt them as a present
& boatload of carrots.
: How Chicago Views Suit:
. Golf, ‘‘Constunt Reader,’ is a harm-
Jess pastime intended for feeble minded
millionaires. As to its pronunciation, it
{is pronounced a "dreadful bore. —~Chi-
Nail hiting, according to a . Piencn
‘of the French school children bite their
Viros bdo ch ome, tpn mt
Br
cago Tribune.
—e—
Ye y © peace
of the domestic cirede, it Vesa 5 :
iy
nn
.| :
|
§
|
|
I asked for an explanation of ihe mat- |
1 aid | ed lately by the line, who do rt » r- |
i the saddle and
tlefield, while
| armies,
' the Bulgarian
telegram irom
gitnated near |
England vote!
the Inter- |
the parliamen- | or
. : L
Las been granted
ns Work- |
As the audience dispersed, commenting |
“winning the day.
pd Tt 7D
=a
‘start in life at 64 years of age
STAMBULOFF'S SPIRIT.
| Called the. Bismarck of the Balkans
cause of His Courage.
" The lane M. Stambuloff, ex-premier
of Bulzaria, used to be called ‘the
Bismurck of the Balkans. '' Ome of his
mest drematic passages with Russia
occurred «during the war with Servia
Prince Alexander had gone out to lead
the Bulgarian army in person, leaving
M. Stamboloff in charge at home It
was a clear day. with not a breath of
air stirring, and the roar of the caimon
was plainly beard in the city. M.
Stambulof! thought the Servians ‘were
Be
Bulgarian ministers applied to the Rus-
sian diplomatic agent for advice. ‘That
gentleman shrugged his shoulders and
sid iF was no affair of his.
‘‘But,’’ arged the Dunlsarian minis-
ters, ‘‘the Serviuns are almost at our
gates. Yon could stop them with a sin-
gle word, if yon would’ ‘‘Yes, but
that word will uot be spoken. On one
condition only will 1 step them, and
that is that yur beggar of a prince
shall abdicate a: once.’" ‘And that,”
thundered M. Stambnloff, ‘he will
not do. No, not for 20 Russias!”
With thet M. Stambuloff sprang into
dashed away to the bat-
the Russian agit sent
to his frierds tt come
ealebrate the defeat of the Balgurian
reign
M. Stambulof, «
.on the field of
the utter rour of the Servians.
azent, arriving there in the midst
the festivities. And . when he told the
news the representative of the cznr, it
is said, groand his teeth i in rage. — West.
minster Budget.
SHARP AND SEVERE.
Specimen:
Over Mark Twain.
Mark Twain (Mr. Samuel L. Clem-
i) -has been holding forth about his
ont bankruptey in a strain that night
zzle the simple. He says:
‘A mercuant who has given up all
has may take advantage of the laws
insolvercy and start free again for
self. Eut I sin not a business man,
i honor is a harder master than the
It cannot compromise for less than
) cents ¢n the dollar, and its debts
ar outlaw. I had a two-thirds ioter-
¢ in the publishing firm whose capital
:rniched If the firm had prospered,
“ould bave expected to collect two-
ds of tiso profits. As it is, I expect
» vay all the debts.’’ Mr. Samuel L
. mens protests too much: It is a mat-
of simp’ e honesty to pay cne's debts
in fall, and the obligations of honor
run forther than Mr. Samuel L. Clem-
eh
~~
2
oe
‘ens seems t¢ imagine. Curiously encagh,
the first and only time we met Mr
Samuel L. (Clemens ba dwelt at lengta
upon the dishopesty of a conterapcrary
writer, a compatriot of bis, toc whom
all English readers owe many delightiul
hours, in stch a way that we confess to
but scant wympathy with him in his
‘monetary ticubles. He talks of hoping
“a fresh and unincumtered
** There
is too much self pity here and tco mnch
self applause. Mr. Mark Twain would
have us believe that to be honest de-
serves a martyr's erown. The explana-
tion probably is that when a man has
to make
only cne virtne he is inclined to overrate |
{ with surprise at the tribate which my,
its importdace. —London Saturday Re-
view. :
And Still the Dance Goes On.
We have horseless. carriages, carless |
boats, delivery carts operated by boy
- power working on pedals and. sewing
machine mators.
Ten years ago -i¢ was said that the
ultimate destiny of man wonld ‘be to
think and press a button.
‘Doing burdness with money is aloady
too axpensive and clumsy fur advanced
institutions. Letter writing has aban-
doned the pen for the typewriter and
will soon alandan the typewriter and
go out of commercial existence as the
telephone aad telegraph are perfected
and cheapened.
The primitive man makes what he
needs. The modern man sells his prod-
act in a lump and orders what. he
needs. —St. Logis Repalilie.
Shakespere or Bacon.
It remained for a newspaper critic in
a small Austrian town to saggust a
method of difinitely settling the ques-
tion whether Shakespeare's plays were
‘written by Shakespeare or Bacon.
- In his eriticism of a very bad per-
formance of ‘‘King Lear’ this critie
says: ‘‘There was but cneé point in favor
of the performance. It permits a de-
cision settlirg the authorship of ‘King
Lear.’ Open the graves of the two great
Englishmen, and the ome who is the
author will certainly be found face
down, as he must have turned in his
grave after this performance.’
Brunettes It Is.
The colored people living .in Eerlin
held a festival im that city recently,
which attracted many of the prom nent
people of the capital. One of the best
speakers made an address, as became a
good adopted] citizen, in eunlogy of the
German emperor. Negroes in tha fa
therland have reason tc be content with
their lot They are received on an
equality with whites and are often
called ‘‘brupeties.”'—New York 'Trib-
une. ;
The most >ultivated minds are wiual-
ly the most patient, most clear, most
raticnally progressive most studions of
accuracy in det 45h —~Jatmes Martineau.
In Brailes are s sid t to be 300 lan-
guages and dialects spoken hy the In-
dians.
Am ‘inch of rain'’ means a a gallon of
water spread over a surface of nuarly
two square feet or a fall of about 100
tons upon an acre. ¢
The lamp used by Epictetus, the
- philosopher, sold for 3,000 draclunas
. soon afer his death, in the year 161 A. D.
I, AHSPS ~
clean, they are polite, and apparently |
‘too, and to be bountifully endowed with
that sense. of propriety a defective de--
‘can street car travel They certainly
In théir anxiéty the
to his honzo ta
A few honors passed, snd then |
minister ot al
tiated
battle, telling of Pines |
i Alexander's magnificent victory and of |
he er He hur- | even if it did not involve a much great-
ried with it to the house of the Russian |
of
of Fine English FEruality
“response to my wife's tearful appeals,
‘her out of sight for good. ’—Louisville
.be that this disposition on his part was
Jewelry sold as them.
| there you we Exchanges
THE JAPANESE.
As Clean as They Are Polite and Gene
tie as They Are Brave. :
The Japanese have many niece quali-
ties and . some great ones. They are
they are very gentle and very brave.
They are said to he exceedingly neat,
velopment of which accounts for much
of the rubbish in American streets and
most of the disagroeableness of Ameri-
beat us in a good many things, and not |
unreasonably their example is much held
up to us nowadays for emulation. Intel-
ligent foreigners who have obeerved us
closely have declared that wé are the
rudest and the kindest pecpls in the
world.
“Of course it is a pity that we are not
more universally courtecns; that our
children are not dersure and orderly like
the Japanese children; that we throw
papers into the street and drop peanut |
shells and orange peel on the floors of |
our public conveyances. Of course it is |
a pity that we are not more like the,
Japanesa in many particulars; bat, for
my part, I make bold to confess that
American manners with all their de-
fects, are better suited to my American |
taste than Jupanese: manners, with ail
their gentle perfections. i
American manners are pot neariy as
they shonld be, not nearly
may hope they may became, |
but that Japanning would profit them is,
Dot £0 certain it looks at first sight, |
ROM41 as One
as
er amount of self repression or seif ob-|
_hteration, doubtless more apparent than
actual, than the American tersperament
could endure or has any desire to attain |
to. The amelioration of our national de- |
meancr must rather be sought in an in-|
creased and enlightened self control -
joined to a strengthened self respect. If
we ever do become civilized, it will be
first at the heart and afterward at the
rind. —Scribner’'s }
HORSE FOLLOWED. FUNERALS.
A Louisville Steed That Caused His Mis
tress Deep Mortification.
“Soma years ago,” said Alderman.
James C. (Gilbert to a reporter, ‘I had.
a tenant down town who died, leaving
a wife and helpless family. Their only
property consisted of an old mare, and
more to oblige them than anything else
I bought the horse. She was gentle and.
my wife adopted her for her own driv:
ing, and was much pleased for awhile, |
as the old mare was so gentle that my |
wife could drive her about town herself. | |
© “It seemed, howéver, that the mare!
had once belonged t sn old lady over ih
New Albany who had a mania on the
subject of funerals and made. a point |
never to miss one. The old mare's;
principal oceupation for years had been |
to follow fuheral processions to the
cemeteries. One day my wife was driv- j 5°
ing down the street, when she ‘suddenly |
encountered a negro funeral, followed |
by a number of societies with all the |
paraphern: lia of an imposing cortege. |
“*The old mare recognized the proces-
tion at a glance, and calmly turned in- |
‘to the line of the parade. In vain my |
wife togged at the reins and tried to}
turn out. The old mare knew her busi- |
ness, and with head hung down sclemn- |
ly followed close behind the moarpers. |
Occasionally they wonld meét an ac- |
gnaintavce of ours, and they locked
wife was apparently paying to the de-
ceased, until my wife was fr: antic v wit
mortification and an ROT.
“At every crossing she would appeal
to bystanders tu stop the old mare, but
they didn't seem to understand, antil i
at last they passed a policeman, who, in |
stopped the old mare and dragged her
out of the procession, much to her sur
prise and disgust. Of course I had a
good laugh over it, but it was no laugh-
ing matter with my wife, and I had no
peace till I sold that old mare and got
Courier-Journal
All Weathers Suited Dr. Johmsen.
Dr. Johnson stoutly pochpoohed the
potion of the effect of weather on the
mind. “To temperance,”” he wrote,
“every day is bright, and every hour is
propitious to diligence.” Johnson, how-
ever, was little given to analyze the in-
fluences of nature, or any other infla-
ences, upon himself. And it may well
in the spirit of the stoies and in defi-
ance of his own feelings, to which he
disdained to give way. It seemed to
him a sorry thing that “a being en-
dowed with reason’'’ should ‘‘resign his
powers to the influences of the air and
live in dependence on the weather and
the wind. ''—Temple Bar.
‘Money makes a heap of difference in
the world, '’ said the misanthrope.
“Of course it does. Still, a man can
always choose his associations. *’
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Here |
I am with such limited means that I
can’t be on speaking terms with even the |
telephone comipany.’’ — Washington :
Star.
Tawdry is derived Som St. Aadrey. |
In the tarly middle ages fairs were held |
a France and England on St. Audrey's
day, and these annval gatherings: be-
came noted fir the gnndy and worthless
If the mind, that raleathe body, ever
80 far forgets itself a4 to trample on its |
slave, the slave is: pever .
generous |
enough to forgive the injury, but will |
rise and smite the oppressor: ong
fellow.
Aad There Ten Are.
Yabsley—Did you ever try keeping I
.an account of personal expenses?
Mudge—Naw; I know how moan 1}
get a week, don't I?
: “1 guess 80. 9»
- ‘““And I haven't got any
of “‘mother's
edit sol
#50 Sucsecdon.
There is a rule at Smith college that
no girl can go out driving with a young
man unless he is her brother, her fiance
or a near relation. Now, once upon 8
time, not many years ago, a4 young man
went there to see a girl with whom he
stood in none of these relations, although
he wished to be in one of them. And
like any sensible young fellow in such
a pretty town he asked her to tuke &
drive, having no kmowledge of the both-
ersome rule. The girl said that she
would just love to go, but she would
have first to ask the president. - ‘Is the
young man your brother?” i d that
functionary. “No, said the girl. - “Is
he your cousin?*’ “No,” said the girl
“Arve you engaged?’ “Not yet," the
blushing maiden answered, ‘‘batI think
we will be when we come back, if you
will only let me go!” And tradition
‘says that the president relented and
that the $ suple came home SHEAgNY, =
landlady, ‘your daughter has beon using
my comb and brush again!”’
“J beg your pardon,” said the. land-
lady indignantly. ‘I never allow my
| children tomeddle with my lodges’ be-
longings in any way.
“But T am sure she has heen using
them," said the lodier, “for there are
Inng black hairs on them, and she is the
only person with blaek hair in the
honse. :
“Oh,
them t+ comb and brush
poodle,” said the landlady,
cur dear old
st to be guilty of
'—New York Mer-
self. She's too hone
that sart of - thing.’
cary. .
-
Labored With the Cigar Store Dummy. |
There are people who, when they get
an idea in their heads, keep it there for-
over. An old Portland lady has been °
— —’
now 1 remember! She did have
“but I am
| quits sare she did not use them for her-
~
talking against the tobacco habit for
years and never loses an opportunity to
| impress upon unfortunates the folly of
the habit. She is a bit nearsighted, and
_ she pecrly convulsed lockers on yester-
day when she stopped in front of the
odd little figure at the door of Fish’s -
cigar store and began to argue with it
about the harmfalness of smoking. The
explosion came when, in her zal, she
‘reached out and tried to take the mock
cigar away from him that she might
throw it into the street. Perhaps she is
| right, but she certainly is overzealous. -
—Portland Express.
“Amusing Answer,
The following anecdote is from
+*Glances at Great and Little Men wy
ro trots I
cans who ware presented at the Tulle
ries. He was a young man, and the em-
peror bad known kis father in America, |
so the latter, wishing to be gracious,
said :
+1, monsiear, votre pere, vit-il en-
core?’ (Does your father yet live?)
“Pas encore, sive.’”’ (Not yet, sire.)
The emperor had much ado to refrain
from laughing and put hisuexs ques.
tion in English.
DEER ——————
Semator Tellers Mother's Butter,
Senator Teller is one of that numes
| ous class of men who are peruliakly fond
couking.”’
tends the buttér making. The senator's
wife is an excellent housekoeper, bas
| sometimes things will go wrong in the
Kitchen, and on such occasions, it is said,
Mrs. Teller passes the yellow dairy prod-
act to her husband and says brightly :
“I'm sorry the dinner is not very good
today, Heury, but here at least is some
of your-mother's butter.’’-~New York
Light Parsons P by Ivy
Mr. I. Ten Bosch from Ro»
chelle Park, N. J, to Garden and For-
est, saying:
“Whenever I see a tree inthe embrace
of a poison ivy, I take my knife and cut
‘the vine. On the groundi of a few
friends and on my own I have cut vines
from 1% to2}y inches thick, sometimes
at the root and somet mes as farrup aX
It happens that
the sen:ator’s mother lives with him.on
his Colorado ranch and always superin-