fleeted tlisrelhntji.
THK.ynsKirs ti:ng.
' I toll you uo, Agnes ! I won't have
it. The tellow only wants my money,
I know Iimii know him. I know all
these dandified jimcruckfl. Thry bang
around a few bags of pold, as crows do
around eairon, 1 won't have any suoh
tliinic-'
' Father, you judge Walter too harsh,
ly. lie is a good man honest and in
dustrous, and '
lndustrous say you ? By the lug
lump, I'd like to know what lie's
got to
show for his industry.'
4 He has. i superior education, fath
er.' ' Education ! Fiddles! icks ! Can hi
live on hi education. Can lie make
dollars of it '! '
' Yes, he can live by it. lie has aL
ready obtained a very :ood situation as
a clerk.'
' And will eara just enough to keep
him in the fiuj clothes ho wears. I
know these fellow. lint there's an end
ou't. 11 you choose him rather than
your poor old father you cm do so.
I cau live alone 1 ehan't livo long
you can '
' Sloy stop, frttlusr. You linvo no
light to talk so. You knew I oould
not leave you.' And Agues Breman
put hor onus i.lout tho old Iran's neck
and kissed him, and then loft tho room.
' It's curious hw l!ic.'-c youi: fools
not,' the miser multcvcd to himself,
after ho had wntched his child depart.
There's brcn twenty of tho nharks of.
ter thr.t girl twenty of them hovering
around her, like mnn.cateia aflcr a dead
body. Don't I know what they want!1
Cau't I seo 1 Aha can't 1 though ?
It'tmymimry! But Agnes 1ms never
lovod one of 'era till this Adams came
along, Tho jaokauopes ! And now
she wants to get married right away.
Nonsense 1 '
The old man bowed his head as ho
spoke, and he saw a drop upou the
back of his hand. It was a bright drop
and the rays of tho settiDg sun were
playing in it.
4 She cried when sho kissed uie,' ho
whispered, wipiug the tear from his
hard hand.' 4 I don't see what snakes
her so tender-hearted, Sho never took
it from me. Hut sh& may hare taken
it from '
The old man stopped, and a cloud
came over his wrinkled brow, for thcro
was a pang in his heart. He reroeni
bercd the gentle, uucomplair.vng being
who had onoe been his companion
the mother ct his child. He remem
bered how sho had became bis wife, even
when the bloom of manhood had passed
from him ; how sho lcod him, and
nunod him, and how sho taught her
child to love snd earo for him, too.
And bo lvmaoibei'cl how she had nev
er 'coniilui:icJ, even whUo su.Toving
and how &!;o had died, with a smilo
and a blessing upon potior lips, though
the gold of her husband brou-ht her
uo comforts.
Noah Breman bowed his frosted head
more low, aud in his heart be wished
that ho could forgot all but the few
fleeting joys of his wifo. Uut ho could
not forget thut it had been whispered
that his wife might have lived longer,
it sho had had proper medical atten
tion. 4 But it would cost so much ! I saved
money.
Ah-
the reflection would not remove
the paug. The other
most.
panwas upper
Noah Breman had pa.-sed tho allot
ted age of man, being over ihree-score
and ten, and all his life had been de
voted to accumulating money. He
had dsnied himself evciy comfort, and
his heart had been almost as hard as
the gold ho hoarded. But as his hair
grew more white and sparso, and tho
years came moro heavily upon him, he
thought more reflected more. The
sweet 6milo of his dead wife was doing
its mission now ; and Iho pure love of
his gentlo child was a coutinual re.
Dicmbrancer to him that there were
better hearts than his own.
At length the miser arose, and pass
cd out from the room. Ifs would havo
left the hut; but as ho reached tho lit.
tie entry way, he heard a voico from
the garret- It was hi'3 child's, lie
crept up tho rickety stair.-, a&d looked
through a crack in tho door. lie jaw
Agnes upoa her knees. Tean were
rolling down her checks, and tier bauds
wero clasped toward Heaven. And
sho prayed
4 Oh, God 1 be g--d to my father and
make his heart warm and peaceful !
Make mo love him v.iih all tenderness,
and enable me. to do well ami truly the
duty 1 pbdged to my dieted mother !
I promised her 1 would )l,v0 ail,j carc.
for him always. Father in Ileaveu.
help mo ! Oh ! help mo ! '
The old uiau crept down tho stairs
and out of doors, and for a wholo hour
ho walked alone among tho trees. He
thought attain of hLs wife again of his
child and then of his gold! And
this was not the first time ho had walk,
cd alone there. He did not himself
know how great was tho influence his
child wis exerting over liim.
Agnes pure, good beautiful Agnes
wept long and bitterly in her little
garret, and when she had become calm,
and her checks wcro dry, she came
down and got sup icr. But she was
not the smilliug, happy being that had
Sirusu uoub mo beamy vouru uereiv.
fore.
A few days after this, as Noah Ere.
insn approached his cot ouo morning,
he heard voices from within. He peep
ed thi'oug j a rent iu tho coarse paper
,-urtain, and saw Walter Adams with
his chil l. Her head was upon ul-
- "JJbjsa. J.J. ..."Tg'f'gyTggJg!?TgBI!LL- 'J''L' ..iijj. ji i i in i iiimmii
JOHN G, II ALL, Proprietor,
CUR1IS W. BARRETT, PuhlUhcr.
tor's shoulder and his arm was about
her.
Walter was an orphan, and had been
Agnes' pcboolmate, and her fervent
lover through all the years of opening
youth. Ho was an honorable, virtuous
man, and loved the gentle girl because
she was so good, and so gentle, and bo
beautiful. And she loved him, not on
ly because he had captured her hcurt
iu the time agone, but because he was
of all her Buitors, the only one whose
character and habits promised joy and
peaco for the future.
1 I cannot leave my poor oM father !
Walton' the old man hoard his daugh
ter. 1 1 must livo to lovo and care
for him On all tho earth lam tho
only ono loft to lovo him. It is hard,
My heart may brook I But tho plodgo
of lovo I gave to my dying mother Must
bo kept.'
1 And so tho grout Joy droam of rny
youth must be changed to this reality I
oxolainicd Walter, sorrowlogly. 'I
con not axk you to loovo your father,
sweet Agnes, for the very truth in you
which I worship would bo made a lie
couiu you ao so. liut 1 nave a prayer
ao earnest sincere prayor.
that God, in his meroy, may
the curse from your father s
L pray
remove
bended
The cutse, Walter ! '
' Ayo, the Gold Curte I ' rejoined he
fervently, ' I hope God may render
him penniless 1 '
' What f Penniless ? 'repeated Agnes
with a stare.
' Aye penniless 1 for then ho would
b e far more wealthy than he is now.
Then he would know how to appreci
ate the princeless blessing of his sweet
Agnes love, and tho crust might be
broken, and his heart grow human
again. And more than all,' Walter
continued, winding his arm around tho
fair form of his companion, and speak
ing moro deeply. 1 then I could prove
to him aiy lovo. Then I could take
you to my home and I could take
your father to my homo and wo could
both lovo him and care for biia while
wo lived.'
Nouh Breman stopped to bore no
n oro, and as ho walked away, mutter,
cd to himself-
The rascal 1 He'd do great things.
Me penniless !' and bo playing for' it.
The villain ! '
When the old man gained his accus
tomed walk among the great syca
mores, ho wiped something very much
like a tear from bis eye. He aeted as
though a mote bad been blowa in
there.
Two weeks passed on, and Agnes
grew palo and thin. She did not sing
cs she used to, nor could ehe smile as
had been her wont. Still she murmur,
ed not, nor did her kindness to her
father grow less.
' God help me to love my father,'
she prayed one night. Let cot my
great sorrow make mo to forget my
duty.'
And tho old mau heard St.
One night Noah came home from the
city, and in his hand ho carried a small
trunk. He barred the door, and drew
the tattered curtain close.
' See ! ' he said, cs ho opened the
truuk and piled the new bank notes on
tho table. ' Look there, Agnes, and
seo how I have worked in my lifetime.
I had no education, but I've laid up
money ! money money ! How many
men would sell me all their brains for
this ! Seeoue thousand two three
four five, count 'em Agnes. There's
a thousand good dollars ia each pack,
age.'
Agnes counted them over because
her father wished it, and sho made fif
ty packages,
1 Why, have you taken it fiom the
bank father 1 '
To let my child, to let at round
interest, Agoes. I shall double it dar
ling doublo it double it ! '
And while tho old man's- eyes spark
led with evident satisfaction, his child's
woro u fad sorrowful look. And after
'.hut sho sat and looked at the working
features of her old father, and prayed
that tho Gold-fiend would soon set him
free.
When Ac;ues retired she left her
lather up ; but ere long she heard him
put his little trunk away, and then go
to his own bed. And then she fell
asleep.
Hark ! What sound is that ? Agnts
Btarts up in alright, and listened. But
see ! A bright lijht gleams out cn the
night, and thick volumes of smoke
pour into the garret.
Fire 1 Fire ! ' sounded a voice from
the entry, and she hears the sharp
crackling and feels the heat.
Agnes, my child . ' Ia another mo
ment she Jject3 her father upon the
stairs. He is dressed, but the is not.
Take all your clothing, Agnes,
and you can put it on in the 'entry.
Thjf house is all on fire.'
In a few moments more the father
and child were in the road, the latter
with a bundlo of clothing in her hand,
while the former held a small trunk.
RID Q WAY, PENNA, SEPTEMBER 19, 1867.
They gazed upon the burning building
but neither spoke.
And others came running to the
scone but 10110 tried to stav the flame.
And the effort would have been useless
had it been made for tho old shell
burnt like tinder. But moro still no
one would have made the effort, even
had success been evident, for the mis
erable hut had too long occupied one
of the fairest spots in the village.
There were no other places to be en.
dangercd, so they let the thing burn.
You have your money said Ag
nes. ' Yes, seo, I took the trunk. I left
tho candle burning so that I could
watch it, But I went to sleep and the
candlo must have fallen over. But I
got tho trunk I ' And as he epoko he
held it up and gaxod upou it by the
liyht of tho glaring ruins.
That U nut the trunk I ' whispered
Agnes in nrrignt.
1 Not.
But tho old man
upoko
taken
filled
no further. Ho taw that he had
the wrong trunk 1 This was only
with eld deeds and rusty receipts.
Ruined I lost ! ' groaned Noah Bre
man, as he turned from the scattered
embers. ' I had fifty thousand dollars
in that trunk and whero aro they
now ? '
Never mind,' said Agnes, winding
her arm about her father's neck ' we
shall be happy without it,'
1 What I uttered Noah Breman. gaz
ing into Walter Adam'fc face. Do you
mean that vou will provide for me aq d,
keep me ?
' Yes ' interrupted the youth, hope
fully. ' I could never be happy with
Agnes, much cs I love her, if I
thought her poor old father bad no
home. Come we'll livo together, and
be as happy as the days are long.'
But your salary youug man T
' Is sufficient for us sir. I have
five hundred dollars a year. We can
live well on that' and lay up some
thing too.'
' Well, well take her love her be
good to her make her happy don't
novcr '
When the old man saw the joyous
tears leap from his child's eyes he tam
ed away and walked quickly from tha
houao ; but he was not so quick but ho
heard tho blessings that followed iiiw.
And when he walked alone beneath the
starry heavens bo wiped his own eyes
as though something troubled them.
Gay as a lark, was gentle, beautiful
Agnes when she became tho wife of
Walter Adams. The rose bloomed
again upon her cheek, and tho smiles
were upon her happy face like sunshine
all the day long.
' Do you pray to God to help you to
love me cow ? ' tho old man asked after
he had lived with Walter 80m i
month.-.
' W hy what do you mean t ' Agnes
asked in suprrise.
You used to pray so, for I have
heard you ' returned Noah.
A moment the young wifo pared in
to her parent's face, and then she an
swered, whilo eho threw her arms
about his neck,
' Oh ! I pray that you may be spared
to us for long rears in peace and hap
piness ; but lovo you ? Oh ! I could
not help it if I should try. And Wal
ter loves you father he loves you very
much for he has told me so many
times.'
There was something more than us
ual in the old man's eye now.
One evening, as the happy trio sat
at the tea table, Walter looked more
thoughtful than was his wont.
4 What is it love 1 ' Agnes asked.
' Oh nothing,' tho husband said,
with a smile. ' I was thinking.'
But of what ? '
' Odly castle building, that's all.'
In the air, Walter ? ' asked Noah.
' Yes very high in tho air,' the
young man returned with a laugh.
But tell us what it is.'
'Well I'd as lief tell you as not.
Mr. Osgood is toretiro from our firm
in a few days. He is well advanced
in years, and has mado a fortuue in
the business, and will live for comfort
and health alone, na has not been
very well of lato years.'
1 And is that all T '
'No. Iam to be advanced to the
post of bead bookkeeper, with a sal
ary of twelve hundred dollars.'
' And if that all ? '
Yes.'
' But what 4 castlo in the air ' ia there
about that f '
Oh that isn't the cattle'
4 Then what is the castle 1 ' urged
the old man, playfully.
1 Why simply this,' said Walter
laughing, but yet almost ashamed to
tell it : 4 This noon Mr. Osgood patted
me on the shoulder, and said he--in
his playful way ' Walter, I'll sell you
all my interest here for fiitr thousand
dollau.' ,
Ha, ha, ha,' laughed Noah Breman
' and you thought he was in earnest.'
(TO TIB CONCLUDED IN OUR NEXT.)
CD-
J V3 J ' V? "Qr nv- VST y V
elected )odrj,
ASS ME NOT TO DRINK.
Fair lady, ask me not to drink
A toast to thco to-night;
For'iroken vows and blasted hopes
Expose the demon's blight.
Tut back the wine I daro not taste
Tut back the spnrkl'iDg bowl ;
For who hath quaffed draught so deep,
And reached a blissful goal ?
Oh 1 ask mo not, there lies within
A poison deep and dire !
And excry drop b ut serves the more
To fan the latent fire.
Each draught will quench my sense of guilt,
And, blastyouth's budding hope ;
Each drop will sink lae deeper still,
In mortal night to grope.
Oh ! press me not to touch tho cup,
Within are glaring eyes,
And starring widows, hungry babes,
And freeting orphan's cricB ;
Whom the Gods destroy they first made drunk
Then ask me not to drink ;
Oh t tempi me nt, but spare my soul
from earth's eternal briuk.;
I have three sisters, mildly fair,
Like angels round my way :
Where love is like the stars that shine
With undiminished ray :
Shall they he doomed to gee mo fail,
A prey to maddening drink ;
And 8undcvedbQ the lovo that binds
Or snap the golden link ?
Another sleeps whero sadly waWo
The willows in the vale ;
And midnight whispers from the sky
Come to tha sighing gale ;
She passed away as summer's breath,
In life's incipient bloom ;
Then tempt me not; I would not mar
Iler slumbers in the tomb.
Coor'ing in tha Bight Style.
4 Get cout, you nasty puppy I Let mo
alone, or I'll tell your ma,' cried Sally to
her lover, who Bat about ten feet off,
pulling dirt from the chimney jam.
4 1 ain't techin' on you,' responded
Jake.
4 Well, perhaps you don't mean to,
nuthcr, do you 1 '
1 No, I don't.'
4 'Cause your too daioed scary, you
long legged, lantern-jawed, slab-sided,
pigeon-toed, gangle.knced, owl, you
you hain't got a tarnal bit 0' sinse get
alons home with yon I '
4 Now, Sal, I love you and you can't
help it ; and if you don't let me stay
and hold you, my daddy will sue your'n
for that com he sold hi m t'other day
By jingo ! He said he'd do it.'
4 Well, look here, Jake ; if you want
to court me, you'd better do it as a
white rran docs that thing and not set
off there as if I was pizen
How on airth is that Sal ? '
4 Why, sidle right up here and hug
and kiss me, as if you had somo of the
hone and sinner of a man about you,
Do you 'spose a woman's only mado to
look at, you stupid fool you ? No 1
they're made for 'practical results, as
Kossuth says to hug and kiss, and sioh
like.'
4 Well,' said Jake drawing a long
breath. 4 if I must I must, for I love
you, Sal ; ' and so Jake commenced sid
ling up to her, like a maplo porker go
ing to battle. Laying his arm gently
upon Sal's shoulder, we thought we
heard Sal say :
4 That's the way to do it, old boss ;
that ia acting like a white man ortcr.'
4 Oh, Jerusalem and pancakes ! ' ex.
claimed Juke, 4 if this ain't better than
any apple sass inarui ever mado, a darn,
ed night ! Crack co, buckwheat cakes
and lasses hain't nowhero 'long side of
you Sal. Oh ! how I love you I '
Here thir lips came together, and
the report that followed was like pulling
a horse's hoof out of the miro.
A very sensible woman, who is go
ing to Europe, desires when her hus
band's name and her own are published
in the list of passeugcrs, it shall be
Mr.' and wifo, not lady, he
goes abroad with his own lawful wife,
and nobody else.
A prudent young woman in Provi
dence, who looked under the bed before
she reposed thereon, discovered a large
and itelligcnt negro hidden there.
Tho earliest tubular bridge, ' the
bridgo of the nose.'
When is a tona like a fish after a
hook f When it is going to a bate.
What most resembles a pretty girl
bathing J A diving bell (e).
It lakes 130,000 bushels of oysters
to supply the city of London annually.
The sales of wheat in Toledo for
three days, recently, exceeded 100,000
bushels.
The actress who bore off a charac
ter in triumph returned it beforo the
next performance.
VOLUME SEVEX-XUMBER 23.
TERMS 150 PER A XX CM.
Duoveus vs Fors. Dinner was
spread in tho cabin rf that peerless
steamer, tho 44 New World," and a
splendid company wcro assembled ubout
the tablo. Among tho passengers thus
prepared for gaslronotnio duty was a
lit'le creature of tho genus fop, decked
daintily as an early butterfly, with kids
of irreproachable whiteness, 44 miracu
lous " ncktie, and spider-dike quizzing
glass on his nose. The delicate animal
tured his head affectedly aside with
' Waitah?"
"Sah?"
44 Bwing me pwopellah of a female
woostah."
4'Yis, Sah!"
" And, waitah, tell tho steward to
wub my plate with a wcgctable called
onion, which will give a delicious fia
vaw to my dinnah-"
While the refiued exquisite was giv
ing his order, a jolly Western drover
had listened with open mouth and pro
tuding eyea. When the diminutive
creature paused, he brought his fist
down upon the tabic with a force that
made everything bounce, and then
thundered out
44 Here 1 you gaul darned ncc of
spades 1 "
44 Yis, sah."
4 Bring me a thunacring big plate of
skunk's girzards 1 "
44 And, you old ink pot, tuck a horse
blanket under my chin, and rub mo
down with brick-baoks while I food."
The poor dandy showed a pair of
straight coat tails instanter, and the
whole table joined in a 41 tremendous
roar.
The colonel of an Alabama regi
ment was famous for having everything
done in military otyle. Once, whilo
field ofliccr of the day, and going his
tour of inspection, he came on a sentinel
from tho 11th Mississippi icgiuiont, sit.
ting down fiat upon his post, with his
gun taken entirely to pieces.
Colonel. Don't you know that a son
tiuel whilo on duty should always keep
on his feet.
Sentinel (without looking up.) That's
tho way wo used to do when tho war
commenced ; but that's played out long
ago.
Colonel (beginning to doubt if the
man was on duty.) Are you a sentinel
here ?
Sentinel. Well, I'm a sort of a sen
tinel. Colonel. Well, I'm a sort of officer
of the day.
Sentinel. Well, if you'll hold on till
I sort of get my gun together, I'll give
you a sort of salute.
What Affected Him. When Dr.
Dodge, an eccentric physician, was lec
turiug through this State on tho evil of
tea and coffee, he happened to meet one
morning at the breakfast table a witty
son of Erin, for tho better class. Con
versation turned to tho Doctor's favor
ite subject, and ho addressed our friend
1 s follows :
' Well,' said tho doctor, 4 if I con
vince you that they aro injurious to your
health will you abstain from their uie V
4 Sure and I will, sir.'
4 How often do you use tea aud cof.
fee f ' asked tho doctor.
4 Morning and night, sir.'
4 Well,' said the doctor, 4 do you ever
experience a slight dizziness of tho
brain upon going to bed '(
' Yes, indeed I do,' replied Erin.
4 And a sharp pain through tho tem
ples, in aud about the eyes, in tho mom.
log?'
4 Troth I do, sir.'
' Well,' said the doctor, with an air
of confidence aud assuranco in his man
ner, 4 that i3 the tea and coffee'
4 Is it indade ; faith and I am thank
ful. I alwas thought it was whisky
that did tho same.'
Tho company roared with laughter,
and tho doctor quietly retired.
A certain Judge who wns notorious
for carrying thepreciso and formal hab
its of the bench into pri"ato lito, was
one day cntcrtaiuing some friends at hU
tablo, and asked a magistrate who was
present, if he would take some venison.
4 Thauk you, my Lord,' was tho reply,
4 1 am going to take some boiled chick
en.' 4 That, sir,' testily annwercl tho
Judge, 4 is no auswer to my question. I
ask you again if you will tuko sonio ven
ison, sir, and I will trouble you to sny
yea or no, without further prevarica
tion,' How do we know that Pharoah was
carpenter J Why, ho made Joseph a
ruler.
Tho most difficult operation in tho
practico of surgery is said to be 4 taking
thejawoutof a womau.' The follow
who said that must be an old baehclor
of the large blue sort.
4 Have your cabbages tender heads?'
asked a woman of a coeterruouger.
4 They can't have anything else inarm,'
was the reply. 4 fjt they've been with
mo crying ubout the streets all the
nioruiu-;.'
MIoiv V-'Vr. rrr. V.:::?rs. Live? "
Tho following is from an old number
of the Utica Intelligencer, published
September 1st, 182!). By beginning
at tho H in the center of Iho table given
below, the word:i, 14 How does tho Prin
ter livo ?" (about oquid to tho couri
ho has to look for a living,; may bo read
two thousand ways:
evilrotnirl' rinlcrlive
vilrctnirl'cprinlerliv
llrctnirp ohol'rintcrli
1 r e t n i r P c h t !i c P r i t c r 1
ret n irPch 1st he Printer
0 t n i r P 0 h t s c s I h c P r i n t e
tnirP ohtscotst he Print
n i r 1 e h t s e o d 0 c s t h e P r i n
1 r P c h t s e 0 d w d o e s t h e P r i
rl'eh tseodwowdocsthcl'r
P c h t s c o d w 0 (1 0 w d 0 c s t h c P
t P e h t s c 0 d w 0 w d 0 c p t h 0 P r
i r P c h t s e 0 d w d 0 e s t h 0 P r i
nirPch tscodoesthcPrin
t n i r P c h t fi c 0 c s t h e P r i n t
etnirl'chtK csthcPrin to
r e t n i r P e h t .1 t h e P r i n t . c r
1 r 0 t n i r P e h t h e P r i n t e r 1
i 1 r 0 t n i r P e h n P r i n t e r 1 i
vilretnirl'cPrinterliv
evilrelnirPrintcrlivo
aeiniqr.ent surrenders cm ?ive
the answer.
us
Trite Wir.T, or run I'i:i;xi;At. I
dio a wretched sinner, and 1 leave to tho
world a worthless reputation, n wicked
example, aDd a memory only fit to per
ish. I leave to my parents sorrow and
bitterness of sou! nil the days of their
lives.
I leave to mv brothers and sisters
shame and giio', and reproach of their
acquaintances.
I leave to my wife a widowed and
broken heart, nnd a life of lonely strug
gling and Buffi. Jn;'.
I leave to my children a fainted name,
a ruined position, a pitiful ignorance,
and tho mortifying rccollrctioa of u
father who by his life disgraced human
ity, nnd at hi.s premature death joined
tho great company of those who aro ncv.
er to enter the kingdom of Cod.
An old woman died lately at St.
Hellers, Franco, who was supposed to
be in a very destitute condition. Upon
her boxes being overhauled after her
death, thcro wcro discovered : Fifty
six silk end staff dresses, thirty shawls,
ono hundred and eight night drosses,
one hundred and twenty-seven chemi
ses, twenty-nine flannel petticoats, forty.'
eight towels, one hundred ind eight
pocket handkerchiefs, eighty.four pairs
of stockings, a quantity of print drosses
not made up, lorty-two tics and neckev
chiels, sixty nightcaps, twenty .four
aprons, and twenty-three dress' Jackets.
Many of 'he articles aro quite new.
A SiitittT time ngo at a schoil in
Newark, during a le.so" on tho animal
kingdon, the teacucr put tho following
question :
" Can any boy name to me an animal
of the order cdeutata a front toothless
aiiium! ?
A boy, whoso faeo beamed with plea
sure at the prospect of a good mark, re
plied, 44 1 can."
44 Well, what is tho animal ? "
44 My Crandmother," replied tho
boy.
A fellow went, a few weeks since
into the storo of a fashionable milliner.
44 Have you any .skirts ? " a- ke 1 ho.
41 Plenty of all kind.?."
44 what do you ask a cord ' " said tha
chap.
"A cord?" repbed the woman.
44 Yes. I want about a c ird.- Up in
our diggins the pottieoats ha 1:1 oai.
I see ye advertise 4 corded s-':i:-ts' an 1
I thought while my baud w.r. iu I'd
take what you had enrded up."
The miliner fiirflcd.
WlTTV. A gentleman v.-.is uc-;,viJ
b:ng to Douglas Jerrol 1 t! 0 -t- ry of his
courtship and marriage low !:!; 'vil'i
bad been brought urv i.i a (vnvent, an 1
was on tho point of taking th.; veil,
when his presence burst upon li. r en.
raptured sight, and .-ho aewpted him at
her husband. JcrrnM listened to th ;
cud of tho story, nnd then qui'-fly re
marked, 14 Sho simply thoyht yo'i bet.
ter than nun."
A good thing is told ot tho Provi
dent iu Raleigh. ' While r.'sp-Kj.lini iu
a feeling minner to the welcuM.! given
him he used the expression 44 Let. u ,
my friends, repair the briehes " vi I
before he could add 44 ma la by ill .' war,"
an old woman exclaimed, with peii'ect
delight, 44 b'es tho dear man, he has
cotno home aaiu to work at his eld
trade."
Remedy fob Sghe Eves is Cat
TIjK. I hava tried the following 10-'
ceipc often, and have never kuowu it to
fail in curing inflamed eyes in eaule and
horses: Take a small hanllulol tobac
co and pour boiling water over it, and
lot it i-teep until it is pretty sUong.
Apply it with a picea of sponge once a
diy, tiud if the eye i-j very bad twic
may be necessary.
A ll.iri'y Cii.n;k:. 51 n. Ilug, a
widow, having taken Sir Charles I'rioo
foi a second liu.baii l, and boiiii; akcd
by n friend how ho liked the change,
replied :
44 Oh, I hare got tid of my old Rugg
for a good Price "
A Clinch Kit. An old ,'sonk" waul
to ktww if wi'f wi l destroy boots, wlut
wu-t t"! ii . uif i. cll'xcu on the deli
cate linings of tho stomach f Ho ii
afraid tj tiy it.