The Elk advocate. (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, August 22, 1867, Image 1

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THE WIDOW LEtPPM'S LAST 1,0 AF.
l.Y MISS MAUY K. TIIHOIT.
' O.'m nnil dorp ponce in this viilo nir,
TIa'FC lnves t..at udilou lo I lie lull ;
And iu one heart if calm At all,
If any calm a culm ilcsjmir.
' Calm on the peas, and silvery sleep
And -wave? that sway IhoitiPelvo in rest,
And drop calm in that noMe 1'ieast,
Which heaves hut with the hervlntf deep.
Ten.ntsoji.
It was evening i beautiful autumn
eveuing. The red leaves yet danced,
rejoicing in the mild air ; tho yellow
sunshine yet fil led the hill tops, nod
the soil shadows were creeping silently
up the valley, an the gentle widow Lee
dotn, with her child in her anus, wend
ing her way homeward.
Mho was tired, fur idic had toiled all
day in rainier Wood's kitehcu, and
though it was Saturday evening, she
had not been paid for her labor. The
kind-hearted house maid at Farmer
Wood's had urged her to wait for her
supper, but sho thought of her hungry
lit (lo oucs at home, and hio could not
stay.
She had no eye for the glory of that
pupcrb October sunset as she walked
wearily on, her tired ariui scarcely
ablo to hold the littlo joyous creature
that laughed and crowed, and ever and
anon peered into hei bonnet, li.ping
li is sweet-toned ' Mamma, Mamma.'
MIic thought only of her expectant littlo
ones, and t lie miaus of obtaining bread
for them to hst over Sunday.
As sho ueared the village sho scemod
irresolute whether to cuter iu or
mmmmm
re :
Wilt
JOILVG. HALL, Proprietor.
C CUTIS W. BARRETT, Publisher.
RID G WAY, PENNA, AUGUST 22, 1807.
VOLUME SEVEN-NUMBER 24
TERMS 1 50 rER ANNUM.
thought of her inability to support her
fatherless children evon iu the summer j
time, and saw uo othbr prospect before
her whichever way she looked, and
I . 1. . t . 11 1 .
snow mac tne cow, urear, wiutor was
gradually coming od, her heart failed
ABTEMTJS WARD'S 1AST.
The following epistle from the la
mented Attemus Ward, has only re
cently Decn given to tne public. It n
generally known that Artemus was a
staunch Democrat and in this produc
ing utterly and die could only weap'. tion ho evidently intended to " takeoff"
ine ouuermg muc ones tnca by each some of the mock philanthropy which
nnilirinr. n.t (l.A.. - 1.1 il.'.l. r. . I , ti . ,..t . . 1 '
an. ihbj tuuu LUlUh. Ul IO HI-
tract the attention, but iu
pass
on ; but a vission of her lonely, fasting
children rose up before her imagiua.
tiou, and she stopped, her lips moved
a moment or two, as if in prayer, and
then quickening her step and hurrying
on, like oue who has uerved herself to
a sudded resolution, sho turned into
the main street, and was soon standin
1 f . l r.t 11 i
neiore me counter 01 mo baker s Miop,
The baker was an austere man, but it
was not in human nature to resist the
widow's pleading tone and touching
expression as she falterinuly asked him
to trust her for a loaf of bread for u
day or two. Tho mau handed the loaf
reluctantly, and was about to insist on
prompt payment, when a glance at th
widow s paiufully Hushed and embar
rassed manner deterred him. With
ecarcely'audible thanks, she concealed
the loaf under her tattered shawl, and
drawing her babe closer to her bosom,
Hastened homo.
' Mother's come ! mother's come ! '
cried a couple of young, eager voices,
ae she entered the gate, aud her seven,
year old Robert and his littlo sister
came runuing to meet her.
They were pretty children. The lit
tle Mury inherited her mother's mild
bluo eyes and delicate complexion, and
ihi boy his father's handsome faeo and
honest brown eyes. Poor children,
they were aceostumei to being left
alone, for the widow went cut to work
daily, and the night was always wel.
come that brought their mother's lovol
returu. They had a tbousiiud things
to ask and tell, which fell uuheeded
this t'mc on tho ear of the sad mother,
though ho iuatinctively answered
them ' yes ' aud ' no,' as occasion re
quired. She gave the loaf to Hubert,
and taking littlo Mary's hand, they cn.
tored the house together. 'J he table
was already set out by tho little, ex.
pectant household, out there was noth
ing ou it that could be construed iuto
anything eatable, save a cup of molas.
kcs and some salt, The mother cut a
slice of bread for each of her half-fam
ishing children, and sat quietly by, uurs
mg tho youngest whilst they ate it, for
she had no heart to cat herself.
She was very sorrowful as sho look
ed at those dependent little beings, aud
thought of her failing strength ; and
shading her eyes with her hand, the
tears stole silently down her palo pa
tient face, aud fell mong tho bright
curls of the little unconscious head
jiillowcd so peacefully on fi r bosom.
She had been sorely afflicted. The
husband of her youth had beeu strickcu
down by a falling beam while attempt
ing to save a sick child, that had been
overlooked in tho hurry and panic,
from a burning building. Tho child
was saved, but ho who periled his lilo
for it, the stroiig brave-hearted mau,
had perished.
Tho fruit of this union, her eldest
born, the pride of her heart, tho noble
boy wl.oso every movement and ex
pression had been us many .smiles of
jiis bui ried father, was a wanderer, she
knew not whither.
Years after iho boy had left her,
when Unbelt Leo'lom tame often to
nee her iu her loneliness, and ventured
to tell her at length how he had l ived
lier from the time they had played to.,
jether at school, and how ho hud re.
plained single for her sake, aud came
back always to the same air that b).c
breathed, au l besought her to let him
tustalu and shield her, to comfort her
in sickness and sorrow, hhe gladdened
the honest sailor's iailhl'nl heart by
consenting to become bis wife.
No Wonder the young sailor loved
lier ; she was uo ncal in her habits, so
gentle aud industrious , aud her calm
sweet face and holy eyed shone with
the beauty that dwelt iu her g. u!
She had learned to love Ler sccoud hus
band, and had borne him three fair
children, when the sad news cjuig that
tho gallant vessel iu which he had sail
ed was wrecked ou the dangerous eoast
ii oar Absccoin, uud iu his cuuruus ef
forts to save others, Robert Lccdom
was lost.
She had been a widow a second time
0ti!y iis mouths, aud now, as she(
vain.
Impressed by their mother's mourn
ful mood, they ato their bread almost
in silence, and when they finished, she
arosa mechanically, and laying her
babe in its cradle, put them to bed.
She heard them say their prayers, aud
bailo ' good uight and God bless them
carefully and tenderly as usual, but
with that subdued, spiritless tone
thatcuiauatca from a heart without
hope. She continued kueeling by their
bedside long after she had prayed aud
wept, liitterly she wept, but thtrc was
no pitying eye to see now, no tender
baud to caress, no loving voico to
sootho, as tiro cry from her over-bur.
dened, despairing heart, My God, my
iiod, wiiy hast thou iorsakcu me 1
went up over tho unconscious sleepers
in tnat nour 01 agony.
4 No pittying eye,' did I say ? Tho
Eye that never slumbers nor sleeps
was there: tho lovim: kindness that
has said ' I will be a Father to the
fatherless, was about her even then,
though she knew it not. In the power
ot tho spirit, camo the blessed assur
ance, in answer to her despairing cry
' I will never leave thee nor forsake
thee and her soul grew calm, all her
old trusting laith returned, aud she
arose from her knees tranquilly, feeliug
mat tno Jjord is a ever present help
in time ot trouble.' b lie took down
the lit.tlo worn bible from tho mautle,
and as she read on through, ttie closiu
chapters ot fet. John, an expression of
peace ineffable, ' the peace that pass
em understanding settled sercniy on
her sweet face. Putting the Bible ret
ercntiy oactc, sue took some mending
from her basket, and soon the clear
tones of a hymn sounded throuch the
stilness of the littlo cottase : and
How firm a foundation when pealed
from lordly organs, and echoed through
vaulted dome, never ascended more ao
eeptablo to' lf;m who sittoth ou the
grent white throne.'
But other eyes beside the Alljeein
had been looking iu through the low
casement at the lonely sufferer, aud now
tnc sweet tones 01 tno noiy nymu were
interrupted by a knock at the door
The widow opened it, aud saw before
hor a travcl-sta'iDed man, who asked
only for a crust of bread aud a
water. I he widow glanced ot tho loaf
controlled our politics during the last
six or eight years. The dominance of
Radicalism undoubtedly induced hiji to
withhold its publication, but now that
no nas gone to bis lathers," his friends starvin. I don't blame anybody for
- . w u in iui mis, oue us a very sat lact. Come are
t ,J . . really to ill to work, some can't got
i was sitting in me bar. auietir smo- nrk tn. J .! ti,... t ri:,i.
kin' a frugal pipe, when two middle- to see . nv necessity for workin. I was
tree there. He said they were without A GAME DrNMHt,
the gospel. He said they were without Shortly after the war with Grmit. Kiii.
J- djiu i i m Hi, Hri.smr.r urin n.nf. un tronn.itnnn
.... . i . .. :. (,- (-.n .v.i.uu
i'ly iren. this is a sens matter. T I built a mmdnnn in ilm vinii.; np liv.-
admire you for trym to help the race to George, on ihe Niagara fionticr, and in
wuiuu you ueiong,.anu iar pe it iroramo acoordanco with the o d country idL-a of
to say anything agin carryln the gospel exclusiveness, he LioUsed his grounds
among the blacks ol the Mouth. with a high, tight board fence. Here
iiet the gospe go. to them by all J he lived, like an old Englishman, so
means, uut 1 nanooiL to know indi- none but the elite of the nffir nf h
vidooally that there are Sbme thousands I neighboring garrison were nermiftpd in
P l!l l I . n i 1 .
oi iiucraicu Diacss in tne ooum wnoare pass nis gates. J here was a verv pood
1 1 , I rt ,
aguu uuu siera looking temales and a
young and pretty female suddenly en
icreu ine room, iney were accompa
nied by two urabrellers and a neirro tren-
tlcmao.
' Do you feel for the down trodden ?'
said one of the females, a thin-faced and
sharp.voieed person in dark green speo
tacies.
'Do I feel for it?' answered the
landlord, in a puzzled voice 'Do I
tool for it?'
' Yea for tho oppressed, the beniuht
ed?'
' luanmuch as to which ? ' said the
landlord.
' You seo this man ? ' said the female.
pintio her umbrcller at tho nesrro tren-
iieman.
Yes, marra, I seo him.'
1 es I said the female, raisin her
voice to a excedin' high pitch, ' you see
nun, and no s your brother ;
' iNo, I in darned if he is.' said the
lan'lord, hastily retreatin' to his beer
casks. -
'And yours!' shoutod the excited
female, addrcssiu me. He is also your
Drotner.
' 2io, thiuk not tnarm.' I pleasantly
replied. ' 1 he nearer wo eomo to that
color in our family was in the case of
my brother John
down thero List winter, .and I observed
understanding between the American
officers at 1'ort Niagara and British offi
cers at Fort George, and the men were
permitted occasionally to visit back and
iorth. A along the American soldiers
was a queer chap, who stuttered terri-
that this class had plenty of preaohin bly, was fond of hunting, and wasalways
for their souls, but 'source any vittles getting into mischief.
ior lueirstummux. now. u it is pro
posed to send flour and bacon along with
tne gospel, the idea is really an excel'
lent one. it on t otner nana it is pro
posea to sona prcacnin atone, ail I can
say is that it's a hard case for the nig
One day this ehan took the small hnt
mat lay moored at the foot of the wnlta
of the fott, and crossed over to the Can
adian shores to have a hunt. He wan-
cered over several miles in the rear of
iort ueorgo, without meeting any game,
gers. If you expect a colored man to aud on his return, seeing a crow within
k - i. . Li. a . . ...
be interested in a track when his stum
muck is empty, you expect too much
1 gave the negro as much as I could
afford, and the kind hearted lan'lord did
the same. I said
1 arewoll, my colored tren. I wish
you well, certaiuly
nee as tno eagle. J5ut hko him and
soar, liut don t by any means attcmnt
the inolosure of the aristocratic English
man, be scaled tho high fence and
brought down his game. Tho Colonel
witnessed the transaction, and advanced
while our soldier was reloaditg. He
was very angry, but seeing the Yankee
You are now as standing with a loaded gun in his hands.
t i 1 all 1 a. -
ne guipea aown his anger for a monien
and merely asked him if he killed tlm
to convert a J'tneopean person while li s crow.
siummioic yearns lor vittles. And you, 1 am sorry,' said the Colonel, 'for
ladies 1 bope you are ready to help the no was a pet. By the by. that ! n vro
poor and unfortunate abroad. pretty gun ; will you be so kind as to let
w nen iney nau gone ine lan lord said. I me look at it I '
' Come iuto the garden, Ward.' And The soldier com plied with tho reauost
The Englishman took tho trun and step
ped back a few paces, and then broke
for
HarWe clip the folio.ving queries,
from the Erie Observer
Pertinent Queries.
MrEditorJ: -I am not superstitious,
but I would like to ask you what the
tollowing signs signify :
What sign is it when you see a
young man going about shaking hands
with every one ho meets that ho never
spoke to before, and kissing all the
dirty faced youngsters iu the neighbor
hood in wh.ch he lives ? I ,UIVht
mention, Mr. Editor, that Ihavesecu
uu.v.uuais wno are caudidalcs
election doing the same thin-
ti iiui sign is it Whan a vn..n
gets a salary of about 6000 a yclr, and
puts on the style and appearance of one
getting $1,200 ? ie
What sign is it when vn ,
U. w , Jw ' UiUlI
iat you know has not.
. . ... ' 'i-iu ui
religion io his composition, nn Sn,l.
morning take two or threo Bibles and a
hymn book under his arm, assumo an
elongated face and enter ;ho church
with the bearing of a saint, and when
he gets away from home occanionally
attend a dance and represent himorlf
a single man ?
What si-rn is it whn
home about midnight, shakes haods
with the pump, tries to pull off his
pants with the boot-iaek.
bed with his boots on ?
hat sign is it when
man who dresses in (he hh.hr.t .1
fashion, who tortucs themselves with
No. 8 boots when No. 10's would fit
him better, who crowds a long, leau Ic
into narrow pants to be in fashion, who
won t spiak to a decent hnn sf. m nil in
the street because he dons unf drua.
the same idiotio stylo that ha dnM ?
Some say it is want of brains.
tho
wo went and
dinner.
culled some carrots for
my own precious
lumiliar voice, iu
forwaid,
th?
springing
which still lay on the table, and then
at her sleeping children, and hesitated
out only lor a moment; there wa3
somethiug in the tono of tho stranger's
vol co that came gratefully to her soul,
as tho breath of spiiug over violets,
and she thought ot her own beloved
boy asking for charity iu soir.o distant
land, and she hastened to place a chair,
and reach him the loaf, trusting to
Him ' Who causcth it to raiu on tho
earth where uo mau is. to satisfy the
desolato and waste ground ' for her or
phans.
' 31 y mother :
mother ! ' cried tho
broken .tonus, and
she was caught and strained to
beating heart ol her long lost son.
' My son, my ton,' sho could only
murmur, winie no exclaimed : ' 1 am
rich my mother, I have been to Cal
fornia, and have conio back rich, b
yond all I ever hoped or dreamed of.-
.ily poor lamishiug mother, I am just
in time, tliauk l.iod ! thank Uod !' and
mother and sou knelt together iu oue
l:lad earnest prayer of thanksgiving.
1IM . . .1 l t
w uo can estimate tno value ot a
newspaper ! N'o one, until he has Jost
it ; until the pleasant periodical visits,
hkw the luce ot a dear friend, bnngiii;
Mi'di & lu id of wit, news and general
intelligence, that ho is always greeted
with ahcaity welcome, are withdrawn.
It is in one sense, the light of the
world, without which the uictal uui-
vi rso would be as much in darkucss as
tho terrestrial is without tho sun.
There are books, it is true, good,
wise, entertaining; but they do not to I
us ol passing eveuts.or to direct us to the
best place of business. Neither do they
iniorin us who ol our friends aio pass
ing away or getting married ; or who
is doing a thriving business, or who is
1..... !-.,... 1... I .ii , .
imumujii, iu uau suimu iroui tu
F.asleru Continent, or who has returned
lioiu a 'our thither, &o.
KT 11 . . l . ...
.11 rs. j ariiiigton said sue did not
marry her tiicmd husband because sho
loved the male sex, but just because she
was the tize of her first protccter, and
could v-car out his old clothes.
An Irish gentleman bearing of a
friend having a stone co!hujuiade for
himself, exclaimed : ' Be me sowl, au'
that .s a trood idea : hhuro uu a Moue
colli a would last a uiaa his life time.
When is a lawer like a duukey ?
Vi Leu he s drawing a conveyance.
for several years, but they finally left
uim. l am nappy to state that at the
present time ho hasn't a solitaiy jan-
dcr.
' Look at this man 1 ' screamed the
female.
I looked at him. He was au able
bodied, well dressed, comfortable look
ing negro. Ho looked as though might
neive three or lour good meals a day
into mm wittiont a murmur.
' Look at that down trodden man !
cried the female.
Who trod on him ? ' I inquired.
' Villins ! despots ! '
' Well,' said the lan'lord. ' whv don't
6up of you go to the villins about it? Why
do you come here tellin us that 'niggers
TTT 1 II ...
ujs uejru a laugnaoie anecdote or a
' Han with a big foot.' He was a Buffa-
lonian, who must be alivo now, for a
man with sc good a hold upon the
He had the jauders ground is not likely to drop off in a hur.
into a tirade of abuse, concluding with
an oraer to stoop down and take a bit
r. t tL. 1 11.1 . ,
ui luc crow or ne wouia mow nis brains
out. The soldier explained, anolocrized
and entreated. The Colonel kpnt. hi
finger on the trigger, and sternly rcpeat-
cu ips command.
There was shoot iu tho Englishman
eye j there was uo help for it, and th
stuttering soldier stooped down and
took a bite of tho crow, but swallo
he could not. Up came his breakfast
and it appeared as if he would throw up
his toe nails. The Englishman eloated
over ino misery ol bis victim, and sin
ea complacently at every addition
"iu-c. iicu ue naa bod inrouL'U vnm
iting and wiping his eyes, the Colonel
ith the remark
No
is our brothers, and brandishing your
urabrellers round like a lot of luuytics ?
lour wuss than the spirit rappers.
Have you, said the middle. aged fe.
male No. 2, who was a quieter sort of a
person, ' have you no sentiment no
poetry in your soul no love for the
beautiful ! Dost thou never go into the
green fields to cull the beautiful flow.
era?'
' I not only dost,' said the lan'lord,
in an angry voice, ' but 1 11 bet you five
pound you can't bring a man as durst
Bay I duest.'
Ihe iittlc birds, cootinuod tho fe
male, ' dost thou not love to gaze onto
them ? '
' I would I were a bird, that I might
fly to thou! ' I humorously sung, cast'
kg a sweet glance at the pretty young
woman.
" Don't you look that way at my daw.
tcr,' said female No. 1, in a violent
voice: you are old enough to be her
father.'
' Twas an innocent look my dear
madam,' I softly said. You behold in
me an emblem ot inooccuse and purity
In fact, 1 start for Homo to-morrow, to
sit as a mooel to tho celebrated artist,
who is about to sculp a statue, to be cal.
led sweet innoccnae. JJo you suppose
a sculptor would send lor me for that
purpose, onless ho well kuow'd I was
overflowing with innocency ? Doa't
make an error about me.'
'It is opinyin,' said the le&diu' fo
male, that you re a sooner and a
wretch ! Your mind is in a wusser be
clouded state than the poor uegrocs we
are seeking to aid. You are a gropei
iu the dark cellar of sin. O. sinful
man !
There Is a sparkling fount,
Come, U, come and drink.
No, no, sir; you will not come and
drink.'
' Y'es he will, said the luu'lord, ' if
vou'll treat. Jest try hun.'
. 7. 1 A 1
As lor vou, said tuo enraged icmaio
to the lan'lord, ' you are a degraded be
in, too low and wulgar to talk unto.'
" This is tho sparkhn fount for mo,
dear sister ! ' cried the lan'lord, draw
ing and drinking a mug of beer. Hav
ing uttered which goak, he gave a low,
rumtiliu lirt uod relaxed iuto siieuco,
' My colored iron. 1 said to the ue.
n ..ii.. i i.... :.. ..n . i . i
i Aiiiviij, Tvuub in lb UU HUUUl .
lie sail they weie trwug to raise
money to send missionaries to the South'
eru States iu America to preach to the
vast number of uegrocs recently made
ry. He stepped one day into a small
shop of a boot maker in the flourishing
capitol ot old liirie, and asked Cbrispin
ii no could mafco bira a pair ot boots.
Looking at his long splay. pedal extremi
ties, aud then glancing at a huge uncut
cow hide that bunz on tho wall, he
said-
Well, yes. I cuess so.'
' What time will vou have them dona?
lo.day is Monday.
We 11, it II depend on circumstances
IT- ... - i i '""js "iuiui ma
guoss I can have 'em for vou by Sat. han.ti,;m
Il. ln. ' I . . . n. :
1,1
Un Saturday, therefore, the man cal
led ior nis boots.
' Have you got 'era done ? ' said he. as
ne entcted the littlo shop.
-ino, i navu i i couion t: it has
rained every day since I took yonr meas.
ure.r
' Rained 1 ' exclaimed the astonished
patron ; ' well, what of that ? what had
that to do with it?'
What had that to do with it?
echoed Chrispin ; ' it had a good deal to
witnit. When I make your boots fve
got to go out of doors, for I hay n't room
iu my shop, and I can t woik out of
doors in rainy weather !'
. . i .i . ii
vuu ruBuai, mat, win teach vnn
i : - i . . .
uow io poacu on a gentletran s incios
Wuo Can it Be ? The editor of
the Brookville Herald relates that as he
it , ii . . t .
was " strolling about town tne other
evening, ho picked up the following
quaint poem. It was pathetically dedi
cated to any oi tne leuiaii persuasion
who aro guilty of the crime ot which it
treats. Who tho audacious, heartless.
impudent fellow is, he is at a loss to
know, but if he ascertains his name and
place of abode, promises to have him
tried under the Military Reconstruction
Rill, aud, if found guilty, smothered in
crinoline and such other fixtiu s :
"She did not smoke, nor did she drink
Beer, porter, ale or rum ;
But oh ! she had one serious fault-
That lovely girl chewed gum !
"Her mouth was busy all the time,
And never did she come
To church, or any publio place,
Without her chewing gum 1
"The force of habit's strong iu death,
And whon her time shall come,
Her epitnph we hopo to see
She died of chewing gum.' "
One bar at Saratoga does a busi
ness wcrth $ 12,000 a scuson.
"Idlewild" has been let for a
school. Schools are often idlewilds.
It is certain that the hay crop will
be uupreoedentedly large, weuther or
no.
-Tho hero aud heroine ot a runaway
match in Indiana were muldlo aged mau
aud a widow with five children.
Punch reports tho speech of an
Irish il. I . wuo thought Ireland was
overtaxed. " Take a tenth of our in
come, sir. Ay, that they do, and they'd
take a twentieth it they dared.
A lad who bad borrowed a diction
ary io read, returned it alter having
tzot through with the remark : ' It was
werry nice readiug, but it somehow
changed the aubjeot worry often.'
ure
The Yankee soldier took his pun. and
the Colonel miht have seen the dcil
in his eye if he had looked close. Step.
i i . i i . . .
piug dbck ne too aeiiDerato aim at the
heart of his host, and ordered him in
stantly to finish the crow. Expostula
tions, prayers and entreaties wore useless
H-l. 1 ,, . r . .
xuerewas snoot in tne lankee s eye
t 1 m a . . .
inen. i nere was do help at hand, and
he took a bite of the crow. Oue bite was
enough to send all tho good dinner he
had lately eaten on tho same journey
with the garrison faro of the soldier, and
while the Englishman was in the agony
oi sicKoesj, jonatban escaped to the
American shore.
Tho next morning the commandment
of Niagara was sitting in his quarters,
and colonel was announced
' Mir ! said he, ' I come to demand
the punishment of one of your men, who
yesterday entered my premises and
committed a great outrage.'
' V o have three hundied men here,
and it would be difficult for me to know
who you mean,' said the officer.
J he Lnghshman described him as
long, dangling, stoop-shouldered, stut.
tenug devil
' Ah, I know who vou mean,' said the
omecr, 4 he is always getting into !roub
le. Urderly, call Tom,
In a few minutes Tom entered, and
stood as straight as bis natural build
would allow, while nut a trace of emo
tion was visible iu his countenance.
'Tom,' said the officer, ' do you know
this gentleman ?'
l e-ye-ye-yes, sir.
' Where did you seo him before.'
I d-d dined with him yesterday.'
It is tiecdlcss to say that the joke was
against the Englishmau, aud that Turn
escaped punishmeut.
A HANDSOME young Yankee peddler
made lovo to a buxom widow in Penn
sylvania. He accompanied his declara-
tiou wi'.h an allusion to two lajpediments
to their union. Nanis them,' said the
widow.' ' The want of means to set up
a retail store.' They parted, aud the
widow tent ample means. When they
met again the peddler had hired aud
stocked bis store, and the smiling fair
one b;'red to know the other impedi
ment, " I have another wife,' said the
notion peddler.
No statue that the rich mau places
Obteutatiously iu bis window is to bo
compared to the little expectant faeo
pressed against the window pane, watch
ing for its falher, wheuhis day's labor
is doue.
Brother Crawford's Sermon.
A Southern cxchan, ni'tr. ft,;
the first sermon of a now minister in a
Villa; ia that sect-nn ll.i K
, -- . tl klVL.UI
lcudont sen ius to day in
io x uncrs wear ; i come ain.nt vnn
as a stranger aud am now tricked out iu
my store clothes. I um not a proud
man, but I thought it would Lo more
becoming among itrauers."
After tbis he raised a hymn in which
the congregation joiacd. lie then be
gan his sermon.
My dear brethern and sisters, first
and loremost, I'm guino to icll you tho
affecting partin I had with my congrega
tion at Bethel Chapel. A iter I had got
through with my farewell sermon as I
come down outcn tho pulpit, the old
gray headed brethern ntd tisters who
listened to my voice twenty vears, crowd
ed around me and with sobbing voices
and tearful eyes, said Far well, brother
Crawford 1
As I walked down tho aisle, tho
young ladies, tricked out in their finery,
brass lewelery, gewL'awa. iim.nU
paints and flounces, looked up with their
bright eyes, and pronounced with their
rosy hps Farewell, brother Crawfoid I
The younz men. in tlmir iilif
r . j . - - .0uv liaiiu,.
boots, high collars and dashv waist.
coats smclliosr of pomatum nr.,1
smoke -with shanghai coats, and striped
Zebra pants they too said Farewell,
brother Crawford !
The little child
fold lifted up their tinv lmn,la
small voices, and with one acoord said -
x areweii, brother Crawford.
Ihe colored brethern of the conre
gatiou now came forwaid (black sheep
who had been aduiittod to tho fold uu.
der my ministry! with team liin
down their cheeks, llio i ci.i
Farewell, brother Crawford !
As I got on my horse and badn
toniy oonireiration forerer 1
to take a last look at the church wheie
1 had preached more than twenty years
nd as I gazed at its dilmihh.in.l niu
aud moss covered roof it to seemed to
say Fi.rewell brother Crawford I
As I rode through the village, tho
poople who poked their heads outen
the winders and the servants who Inunt
on their brooms, all S4cmed to say
farewell brother Crawfoid I
As I passed alontr down the M4n
through the forest, tto wiud, as it sigh
ed and whistled threugh the treo toops,
played ou tho leaves and branches tho
burden of salvation it too seemed to say
Farewell, brother-Ciawford !
Crossing a Iktle creek that was gurgliu"
and singing over its pebbly bed, as ii
rejoiced ou its way to tho great ocean of
eternity, it to seemed to say Farewell,
brother Crawford !
As I rode alon down a hot ilnsin
lane, an old sow that was asleep in a
fence-corner, jumped out of a sudden
with a loud broo-too. broo-too : she tnn
seemed to eay Furetrell, brother Crawford.
My horso tret fii-hteccd and inmri-'il
from uuder uie, and ai ho culed his taii
over his back kicked up his Leak aud
ration; uo too seemed to say Fare
well, brothe r Crawford !
n?fAA haid drinker obiecti :o nuMin
water in his whiakey because it duuiii!
us uis spirits.
I'll be round tbiswuv iu a min
ute, as the second hand said to the
pendulum.
CfSuThe " suirar weddi lit'." OPClli'mr
thirty days after uiarria"o. is tha u.iw.nt
fashionable lolly.
uraTIie Mayor of Utica ha
ed tho police to arrest tollam-n eliuwrj
ho expectorate ou the sidewalk.
5JU A Boston paper think these ara
ealled " Jog day" because there is sj
much growliug about tho weather.
tej According tu a New York lunnr
hat city coutaius 550 lueli who make
their living as decoyu for tho faro ULlo.