T?fE FACTO FlY GIRL.
It was a liltle studio quite at (lie top
of the house. Upon tie easel that oc
enpied the post of honor in the middle
of the room, was a piece of canvass plow
ing wan polt lints ol a spring land
scape, and Frank Seymour stood be
fore it, pallet in hand, his largo brown
eyes dreamy with a sort of inspira
tkm.
In a comfortable easy thair by the
door Fat a plump rosy littlo female, in
a lnee enp with plenty of narrow white
satin ribbon Jluttcnng lrom it, nnd t
silver cvny poplin dress Mrs. Sey
mour, in fact, our artist's mother, who
had jnst come up from the very base..
nient, ' to see how Frank was gettin
along
' Here, mother,' said the young man
with an enthusiastic sparkle in his eye.
' just see the way that sunset light
ouches the topirost branches of the
old apple tree. I like the brown, pub.
dued gold at that tint ; it somehow re
minds me of Grace Teller's hair.'
Mrs. Seymour moved a little uneasi
ly in her chair.
It's very pretty ; but it rtiikcs me
Frank, you are lately discovering many
similitudes between Miss Teller and
your pictures.'
Frank laughed good-humorcdly.
' Well, mother, she is protry.'
' Yes, I don't deny but that sho is
pretty enough.'
'Now, mother, what's tie meaning
of this ambiguous tone ? ' demanded
the young artist, pleasantly. ' What
hacyou discovered about Miss Teller
that isn't charming and womanly and
loveable ? '
' Frank do you know who she is ? '
' Yes, I know that she is a remarka
bly pretty girl, with a voice that sounds
exactly like the low, soft rivulet whera
I used to play when T was a boy.'
' Nonsense,' said Mrs. Seymour,
sharply.
' Well, then, if you are not satisfied
with my description of her as she is,
would you like to know what sh will
bo ?'
Mrs. Seymour looked puzzled.
'Mother, I think one day she will
be my wife.'
' Frank ! Frank ! are you crazy ? '
' Not that I know of,' said Frank,
composed!', squeezing a littlo deep
blue on his pallet from a dainty tin
tube, aud mixing it thoughtfully.
' We know so little about her,'
thought Mrs. Seymour. "To be sure
she is visiting Mary Elton, and Mary
belongs to a vciy good lamily, if the
dosen't live in but half a bouse and
takes in fine embroidery for a living.
But then she has no stylo compared
with Cynthia I'arkcr, and Cynthia al
ways did fancy our FruDk. Then
moreover, she has Gvo or six thousand
dollars of her own. But, dear me ! a
young man in love ia the most head,
strong creature alive ! '
Mrs. Seymour muised a while longer,
and then put on her mouse colored silk
bonnet and gray shawl, and set out on
a tour of investigation.
I'll find out about Miss Teller, or
I'll know the reason why,' thought the
indefatigable widow.
Miss Grace Teller ' was at home,'
helping Mary Elton ou an elaborate
piece of fine embroidery. The room
where the two gills sat was very plain,
carpeted with the cheapest ingrain, and
curtained with very ordinary pink and
white chintz, yet it looked snug and
cheery, for the fat blackbird was chirp
ing in the window, and a stand of mig.
nonctte and velvet blossomed pansics
gave a delicate refinement to the de
tails of every day life.
Mary Elton was pale, thin, and not
nt all pretty, though there was a treni
ulous sweetness about her mouth that
secned to whisper that she might have
been very different under different cir
cumstances. (J race Teller was a live
ly blond , with largo blue eyes, rose
leaf skin, and hair whoso luminous
gold foil over her forehead like an au
reole. As Mrs. Seymour entered, a deeper
bhade of pink stole over draco's beau
tiful checks, but otherwise sho was calm
and sclf'-posjsscd aud readily parried
the old lady's interrogatories.
Very warm, this morning,' said the
old lady, fanning herself. ' D they
have warm weather where you caiuo
from Mim Teller ? '
I believe it's very sultry in Factory,
ville,' said (jraee composedly, taking
another iiccdleluU of white silk.
Faetoryville ! U that your native
jilace '( Perhaps, then you know Mr.
Parker Cynthia Parker's father who
is superinteitAut of the great cu'aco
mills there ? '
' Very well I have seen him.'
Are you acquainted with Cynthia.'
No, I believe Mis Parker spiuds
most of her time in thia city.'
' That's very tiue,' said Mrs. Sey
mour easeily.
Cynthia often says there's no socio.
ty worth havtnein I'aotoryvnie uniy
the cirls that work in the factory, and
Cvnthiais verv cr.uteel. But excuse
iny curiosity Miss Teller how did you
becouio acquainted with Mr. Parker
and not with his daughter ?
Grace colored
Bunincss brought mo iu contuct
frequently wUh the gentleman of whom
you sneak, but 1 never hardened to
meet MiH Parker.'
Mrs. teyinour gave u littlo tlart in
her chair, Mio was beginning to sco
through the mystery
' Perhaps you have fcomelhing to do
with the calico factory 1 '
' I have,' said Grace with dignity.
JOILXG. HALL, Proprietor.
CURTIS W. BARRET Ty Publisher.
A factory girl ? ' gasped Mrs. Sey
mour. crowinu red and white.
' Is there any disgrace in that title ? '
quietly asked Grace, although her own
cheeks were dying crimson.
1 Disgrace r Oh, no, certainly not
there's no harm in earning one's living
in an honest way,' returned Mrs. Sey-
bious absently. I he fact was, she was
thinking in her utmost mind, what will
Frank say ? and anticipating the flag of
triumph she was about to wave oyer
him.
' I do no hesitate to confess,' went
on Grace. look ins Mrs. Seymour full
in the eye, ' that to the calico factory
I owe my daily bread.'
' Very laudable, 1 m very sure, said
the old lbdy, growing a little uneasy
under the blue, clear gaze, ' only there
are steps and graduations in all sooiet;
you know, and and I am a little sur.
prised to hud you so intimate with
Miss hlton, whose family is
Mary came over to Grace s side and
stooped to kiss her cheek.
My dearest friend, my most prec
ious companion, she murmured, I
should be quite lost without her, Mrs-
ceymour.
The old lady took her leave stiltly
and did not ask Grace to return her
call, although she extended an invita.
tion to Mary, couched in the politest
and most distinct terms.
' Frank ! ' sho ejaculated as sho re
turned home, never stopping to re
move shawl or bonnet, ' who do you
suppose your paragon of a Miss Teller
' The loveliest of her sex,' returned
Frank briefly and comprehensively.
' A factory cir! I sorcanied the old
lady at the top of her lungs, a factory
girl ! ,
' Well wbat ot that f '
What of that ? Frank Seymour you
never mean to ay that you would have
anything to do with a common factory
girl t '
I should pronounce her a very un
common factory girl mother,' said the
young man with aggravating calm
ness.
' Frank, don't jest with me,' pleaded
tho poor little mother, with tears in
her eyes. Tell me for once that you
will give up this idle fancy for a girl
who is in no respects equal to you.'
No, she is in no respect my equal,'
returned Frank with reddened cheek
and sparkling eye, but in every re
spect iny superior. Grace Teller is
one of the nouelest women that ever
breathed this terrcstriel air, as well as
the most beautiful. Mother I love her
and she has promisod to become my
wife.'
Mrs Soyraonr set down, limp, life
less and despairing.
r rank, frank, 1 never thought to
see my son marry a factory girl.'
And then a torrent of tears camo to
her relief, while Frank went on qu'etly
touching up the scarlet foliage of a
splendid old maple in the picture.
' So you are determined to marry me,
Frank iu spite of everything.'
Grace Teller had been crying; the
dew was yet on her eyelashes, and the
unnatural crimson on her cheeks, ng
Frank Seymour camo iu, and Mary El.
ton considerately slipped out to search
for a missing pattern.
' I should rather think so,' said
Frank looking admiringly down on the
poldun head that was stopping amoug
the pansics.
' Uut your mother thinks me far be
low you in soeial position.'
' Social position bo unorod ! Y hat
do I care for social position, as long
as my littlo Grace has eonccntod to-
make sunshine ot my home f
' lcs, but 1' rank
Well, but, Grace ! '
' Io you realy lovo me ? '
For the answer ho took both the
fair delicate hands iu his, aud looked
steadily into her eyes.
mil 1
' Frauk, said Grace lciior, aoinurc
ly. ' I'm afraid you'll make a dreadfnl.
ly strong-willed, obstinate sort of a
kutiband.'
' I shouldn't wonder Grace.'
And so tho purple twilight faded in
to purple softer than the shadow of the
eastern amethysts, and the stars came
out one by one, and still Frank and
Grace talked on, aud still Mary Elton
didu't succeed in Cuding the' missing
pattern.
Mrs. Seymour was the first to arrive
at Mrs. Randall's select soireo on the
fiat Wednesday evening in July: the
fact was the wanted a chauco to con
fide her grief to Mrs. Randall's gym
nathetio ear.
' Crying 1 ' Yes, of course I have
been cryiug, Mrs. Randall ; I've done
nothing but cry for a week.'
Mid. Raudall elevated hor kid-gloved
hands, ' what is the matter ! I hope
Frank isu t in any sort ot trouble r
i JIv dear, said the old lady in
mysterious whisper, ' Frank has been
entrapped inveigled iuto the most
dreadful entauglemeuts. Did you ev
er fancy that he the moat fastidious
I f ii k
12 IDG WA T, PEXXA., A UG UST 15, 1SG7.
and particular of created beings, could
bo resolutely determined on marrying
a laotory girl r
Mrs. Randall uttered an cxclama
tien of horrified surprise, and at the
same moment a party ot guests were
announced, aaong whom was Miss
iellcr, looking rather more lovely than
ever.
' Well,' thought Mrs. Seymour, as
her hostess hurried away to welcome
the new eommcrs, well, wonders never
cease I JJut I suppose its all on ac
ceunt of Mary Elton's uncle tho Judge.
Here comes Mr. Parker and Cynthia ;
dear me, what a curious mixture is
our American sooicty ; how they will
be shocked to meet Miss Teller ? '
Iovoluntairly she advanced a step
or two to witness tho meeting. Mr.
Parker looked quite as ostooishod ai
she had expected, but somehow it was
not that kind of astonishment thut was
on tho programme.
Miss Grace ! ' You here ? Why
when did you como from Faetory
ville ? '
' You are acquainted with Miss Tel.
ler? ' asked Mrs. Randall, with some
surprise.
' Quite well; in fact I have had the
management of her property for some
years. Miss Teller is the young lady
who owns tho oxtensive calico facto,
ries from which our village takes its
came.'
' Pear mo ! ' said Mrs. Seymour,
turning pale and sinking down upon a
divan near her. ' Why they say the
heiress of the old gentleman who own
ed faetoryville property, is the richest
girl in the country.'
' Graoe,' said Frank, gravely almost
sternly, what dots this mean J '
lhe blue eyes tilled with tears as
she clung closer to his arm.'
' I can't help owning the calico fac
tories, Frauk. Dont you love me just
as well as if I didnt f '
' My little deceiver ! But why did
you not tell me ? '
Why should I tell you Frank 7 It
was so nice to leave the heiress be-
nina ana be plain urace leuer lor a
while, and when I saw how opposed
your mother was to our engagement,
a spark of woman's wilfulness rose up
witlnu me, and resolved I would main,
tain my incognito, come what might.
Mr s. Seymour, she added turning arch.
lyjaround and holding out her hand to
the discomfitted old lady, didn t 1 tell
you that I owed my daily bread to that
factory I
And Mrs. bey mour tor once in her
life was at a loss for an answer.
Battle of the Birds.
Tho Lloomington (led.) I'rogrcsa
has the following highly imaginative
story of n bird conflict ;
" While sauntering arounu our beau.
tiful city lately, we aocidently witnessed
one of tho most Bingularornithologioal ex
hibitions that ever fell under our observa
tion. A chimney swallow had only be
gun to balance his little body upen the
topmost branch of a large cherry tree,
when a robin of aldcrmanio proportions
swept down upon him f rom a neighbor,
ing maple. The swallow fought nobly
tor a while, and with every prospect of
success, until his russet-colored foe was
reinforced by his mate ; then, and not
till then, did the littlo hero cry for
quarter. Twittering loud and piteously,
he attracted the attention ot some ot
his tribe, and to his relief camo the col.
ony of a neighboring chimney. Now be
gan a combat worthy a painter's pencil.
As tho swallows advanced and retired
in dark waves, they dealt cruel blows at
tho devoted robins, who, maddonod by
pain, lousht with desperation j but the
oddsweie too great, and gasping, bleed,
ing, quivering, catching from bough to
bough, the robins ieii to tue oartn, suape
lcss and torn. Although intensely ex.
citing, tho combat was not the most in.
tcresting feature of this curious cxhibi.
tion. Many of the swallow were cov
ered with wounds given by the sharp
claws and strong beaks of the unfortu
nate robins, and theso received the
immediate attention of the unwounded,
who, in pairs, carried them tenderly to
their sooty homes. Now came the final
aud most singular feature. Tenderly
carefully and solemly, was each dead
swallow conveyed to the top of a large
chimney adjacent, aud after piling up
the ligid bodies in oue sombre heap, the
entire swarm settled upon the roof in
silence, while one of tho companions,
whose great age was evident from tho
litrht gray of his feathers, perched upon
tho lijjhiuing rod, and for some fivo or
ten minutes chirped, twittered, aud
slowly flapped his wings. During this
performance, which was evidently an
oration upon tho virtues of the deceat".
ed, the bird audience mainiaineu iucir
positions immovably, but at its close,
three of tl;o birds, whose black, glisten
ing coats denoted their youth, advanced
and cautiously pushed the bodies into
tho yawning ohimuey. This accom
plished, cacn winged witness sailed
away, noisly twittoriug, as though in
heated discussion over the fight in
whice each bad participated."
THE ANGEL GABRIEL
My friend Maj. C. had an old darkey
to whom he was much atuclied. One
evening, at a party, Peter from imbibing
too treeley of various mixtures, began
dancing round with a waiter contaimug
some ices and cakes, and soon became
uproarious. Observing his couduot, the
Major publicly reprimanded him, and at
oneo dismissed him from his post of
waiter tor tho evening, and appointed
another in his place. The last stroke
was too much for old Peter, and ho re.
tired to his bed room in dispair. That
night Lapt. K., a jolly young officer in
tho room adjoining Peter s, hearing sobs
and groans in the next loom, rose to in
quire what was the matter. He opened
wiu uuui vi x ciur s ruuui ana rcconnoit'
erod.
Petor was kneeling by a window aud
praying. Amid his loud ories the cap
tain heard the following :
" 0 Lord, have pity on thy poor old
servant. His massa, who he used to
take upon his knees when he was a boy
is vexed with his poor old darkey, and
I don't want to live any longer. O dear
.Lord, please send the angels for old Pe.
ter. Just send the angel Gabriel this
minute down to take old Peter to Abra
ham's bosom 1 O, please Lord, do.
Please. Lord, this minute; I am ready
to go!"
Capt. K., ever ready for fun, immedi.
ately seized upon a white counterpan,
and enveloping himself in it, rapped
three times at Peter's door.
"Who's dar ?"
" The angel Gabriel, come to take old
Peter to Father Abraham's bosom?"
replied Capt. K., in a sepulchral tone.
" De who. massa I tearfully asked
the suppliant.
" Old Peter."
"Well, I just tell you, massa, dat
nigger don't live here; I don't know him
at all I
Capt. M rushed back to the company
convulsed with laughter, and old Peter
relates to this day the wonderful answer
to his prayer.
An Amaieing Tunnel Inaidsnt.
Doubtless tho tunnel en tho Eastern
Railroad, just east of tho depot in Sa
lem, has been the scene of numerous
amusing incidents but we doubt if any
thing of a more ludicrous character hat
ever taken place in it than the follow
ing : It seems that a few days since a
lady and he? sister and a grown up son
of the latter, took the cars at Boston for
the East, the sisters occupying a scat
together and the young man the one be
hind with another person. Upon en
tering the tunnel, the aunt, to have a
little fun rose up carefully, reached over
to the seat the young man had been oc
cupying seized some one by the oollar,
shook him soundly, and then resumed
her seat.
The sister surprised at her vigorous
movements, asked what she had been
doing, and was informed by the other
that she had been attempting to fright
en her nephew. Her feelings can be
imagined when the mother made her ac
quainted with the fact that tho young
man left the train at Salem, and that she
had been " shaking up tho wrong pas
senger." When tho train emerged from the
tunnel the person who had been mista
ken for the won was observed adjusting
his neck-tie and collar, and remarked
that he did not know what tho matter
was with the ladies ic front ot him, but
thought one of them must be insane, for
she had given him a severe shaking,
torn off his neek tie, scratched his face
and disranged his hair, and he was at a
losa to giva any other SOOOUnt for the
sudden attack that had been mado upon
him.
Joke on a Constable.
A " cute " State constable, meeting a
tin poddler, asked him if hj had a li
censo to sell.
" No," was the reply.
Ths constable hastened to procure a
warrant, and after a long day's search
found the offending persou and brought
him before a magistrate. When he was
asked : " Guilty, or not guilty J "
" Not gnilty 1 " ho quietly answered.
" Don't you pcddlo goods around
here 1 " said the judge.
" Yes, sir ! "
" Well, then, sir, have you a license
to do so f "
Oh, yes ! "
" Why didn't you tell this gentleman
that you had no license f "
No, sir ! " said tho peddler.
" Yes you did," bhouted the tipstaff.
" No I didn't," quietly replied tho
man.
" I say you did," vociferates ye offi
cer. "I'llswoar I didn't," repeats the
pedler.
Well, what did you toll rao then ? "
' You asked me if I Lad a lieenso to
sell, aud I told you I hadn't, and I
haven't a lioenso to sell, for I want to
keep it to peddle with ! "
flySubscribe for the Advocate.-
Terms 1,50 in ndvauco.
VOLUME SEVEX-XUMBER 23
TERMS 1 50 PER AXXUM.
Hark Twain and the Musket.
Mark Twain tells the following story
by a fellow passenger, who being ban
tcred about his timidity, said he had
never been scared since ho had loaded
an old Queen Anne's musket for his
father once, whereupon he lelatcd tho
toilowing : l ou see the old man was
trying to learn me to shoot blackbirds
and beasts that tc ar up the young corn
and such things, so, I could be of some
use about the farm, because I wasn't
big enough to do much. My gun was
a single barrel shot gun, and the old
man carried on old Queen Anne's mus
ket that weighed a ton, and made a re
port like a thunder clap' and kicked like
a mule. Ibe old man wanted mt to
shoot the musket some time, hut I was
afraid. One day, though, I got her
down, and so I took her to the hired
man ind asked him how to load her, be-
causo tho old man was out in the fields.
Hiram said :
Don't you see them marks on the
stock an X and a V on the Queen's
Crown ? Well, that means ten balls
and fivo slug that's her load.'
Uut how much powder I
' Oh,' he says, it don't matter, put in
three or four handsful. '
So I loaded her up that way, and it
was an awful charge 1 had sense
enough to see that and started out. I
levelled her an a good many blackbirds
but every timo I went to pull the trig
ger I shut my eyes and winked. I was
afraid of her kick. Towards sundown
I fetched her up at tho house, and there
was the old man resting on the porch.
' Been out hunting, have ye f
' Yes, sir,' says I.
What did you kill ? '
' Didn't kill auything, sir didn't
shoot her off I was afraid she'd kick.'
fl knew blamed well she would.)
' Gimmus that gun ! the Old man
says mad as sin.
And he took aim at a sapling on the
other side of the road, and I began to
drop back out of dauger. And the
next minute I heard an earthquake, and
the Queen Anne whirling end over cud
in tho air, nnd tho old man spinuiog
around one heel, with one leg up and
both hands on his jaw, and the bark
flying. The old man's shoulder was set
back four inches, and his jaw, turned
black and blue, he had to lay up for
three or four days. Cholera, or nothing
else can scare ice the woy I woi scared
that time.
Death at the Breakfast TaUe.
Robert Bruce, a celebrated Scotch
minister, sat at his breakfast table one
morning. Having oaten a boiled egg,
he turned to his daughter and said :
" I think I am yet hungry, you may
bring mo another egg."
He then grew thoughtful a moment,
and, musing a little, added
" Hold, daughter, hold I my Master
calleth mo."
Here his sight failed h im, but culliug
for a Bible he requested his daughter to
place his finger on a certain possage.
This being done he repeated the verse,
dwelling especially on " I am pursuaded
that neither life nor death shall be able
to separate me from the lovo of God,
Inch is in Llin.-,t Jesus my Lord.
He said :
"God bo with you my children. I
have breakfasted with yau, and fchall
sup with my Lord Jesus this night."
" Ihese were the last worda, lor with
out a shiver or a groan, ho at once start,
ed on his flight to everlasting glory.
Reader, you breakfasted with your
family circlo this morning. Suppoo,
like the (rood Mr. Bruco, you should
die suddenly to-day, with whom would
you sup to-night.
At a convention of clergymen, not
long since, it was proposod by one of
the mcmWs after they hud dined, that
each should entartuin the company with
some romarks. Among the rest, one
drew upon his infancy, and related a
dream. In his dream bo went to heav
en, and he described the golden streets,
the river of life, etc. As he concluded,
one of the divines, who was somewhat
noted for his penurious aud money
saving habits, stepped up to the narra
tor and inquired jocosely :
Well, did you sen anything of me
iu your dream."
" Yes, I did."
" Indeed t what was I doing ? "
" You were on your knees.''
" Praying, was I ? "
" No scraping up the gold."
i
An exchange soys : " To make a
muss pour a quart of moTasses in your
wife's new bonnet." Ridiculous t the
thing wouldn't hold a pint.
Give strict attention to your own
afTaiis and consider your wife one of
them.
Has auy person ever tried Ilarey's
system of horse-taming on the in'yht-
Little girls believe in tho man in
the moon big girU believe in a man in
the honeymoon.
JSeleried iorn,
A HARVEST S'.rNE.
Foir ami rYosh tho win.l.i are Mowing
Uiiglitly nhiucs tho puii to ilny
Over men. low, hill nnd wumllmid,
On (ho newly gut herd Imy.
Whito and purple, green nn.l coMen,
Flock and fields nfnr ar.d near ;
While the harvest hands m e singing,
We'll have well CllcJ burns this year.
Hear the winding beck tlmt ripi'les
Winding out and winding in,
How it murmured as if ans'ring
Bank the joyful songs of n;cn.
Now in sunshine, now in shadow,
Winding out nnd winding in,
Like (i mirror it rcflcctcth,
All day long tho harvest scene
Lcngh'ning shadows now from woodlands
Over beck and narrow creep,
While behind his gorgeous om tnins,
Sinks the harvest suu to bleep.
Giving promise to the renpci-tr.
After labor, rest shall come,
Tired hands be calmy folded,
'Midst the sacred scenes of home.
Faticntly the farmer waited
Wo'kcd nnd waited like a man,
Never doubting that the master
Well would end what he Degan.
Now lie hath the promised blessing,
Fruit for all his honest toil :
Never lord was half so hnppy,
As this tiller of the soil.
Fooling Milch Cows.
We do not, as a general rule, feed lib
erally enough. Wo do not ufo suffi
cient variety of food for cows iu milk,
nor is the quantity anything like what
might be fed. Many far cers seem to
act as if the food consumed was so much
to be added to tho cost of keeping rath
er than so much raw material used in
the manufacture of milk. If they otvn
ed a mill they would leed into it all tho
gram it would grind ; try to keep it Tun
ning at full speed, and furnish the lar.
gest amount of i1s products of which it
were capable, taking into account of
course tho wear and tear of machinery.
They would try to get the largest yield
consistent with economy and good man
agement. The same rulo ouht to bo adopted in
feeding cows. Instead of being content
with smaller oi even ordinary yield, we
should so feed as to get all we can con
sistently with a proper regard to tho
health and protracted usefulness of tho
animal. They have carried the matter
of feeding to a far higher state of per.
fection iu Europe than we havo in this
country. It may almost be said to bo
reduced to a science, so minute and
careful have many of the experiments
and systems of feeding become.
A Terrible Disease.
A fearful disease has broken out late.
ly in various cities, including Harrisbun'.
It scarcely ever attacks vounar children.
but adults of both sexes are its victims.
The physicians have, after learned in
vestigation, called the new diseaso Pip;
snipsy. We have not learned the ex
tent of its fearful ravages in our city,
but will give a description of its symp
toms and tho prescribed remedies, as de
scribed by tho Cleveland Herald :
A sudden instantaneous depression in
the collipsis dinix, a caving in of the
pnulity ol the backboniLus, and a
foeliug of slimnoss iu the immediato
vicinity of tho diaphragm may be regar
ded as symptoms that the complaint is
coming on. Tho following rciueJy by
onoofour eminent physicians will af
ford relief it taken at the hrst appear
ance of these horrible symptoms. Spir-
tus ini Utard, or Uidi fiumbonibu
I, Su'jraruin Whituin ri n, ecibus miuu-
us dunus tanzius raid uckitceuiu strun.
dum down throatum. It is said tho
remedy is very pleasaut. Teh-graph.
A ready-witted Iiishman lives in
Rock wood Illinois. The other day ono of
with boys thinking to have a little fun
in, said ' Jioloy, havo you hoard tho
the nowa ? " No, what news 1 " " Whv
ho devil is dead." Not a word said
Holey, but putting his hund in his pock,
ot and pulliug out a ten cent shinpiastcr
anded it to his question :r, who asked
what it was tor. " Why," answered Ho
ley," iu the ould cjun'ry, whsro I came
from, it vas tho custom to give the. chif
dren tomething wJicn the parctiti died."
A SciiooiiMASTErt in a neighboring
town, while on his morning walk, pas.
std by the door of a ueighbor, who was
xcavatiug a log for a pig. trough.
" Why, said tho schoolmaster, " .Mr.
S., have you not furniture enough yet ? "
" Yes, said the man, " euouh for
my own family, but I expect to board
the schoolmaster this winter, and am
makiug preparations."
Ws cannot too strongly impress up
on parents tho importance of allowing
.1 ' .I'll .1 . l mi
rncir cnuuren to icarn iraaes. me
terage pay of clerks is now from ten to
twenty dollars per wck, while tho aver
age pay ot skilled workmen is from fit.
teen to fifty dollars per week.
An Irish servant being asked whathi r
his majter was withio, replied, ' No."
" When will he return ? " " Oh, when
master gives orders 'o say that he is not
at home, wi never know when ho will
come in f
" You look." said an Irishman to a
pale, haggard smoker, ' as if you had
pot out of your grave to light your ci
gar and couldn't find your way back
aaiu."