'&hc Orlh gjLiiroqatc,
A wki.kly NEvsrAn:n,
Devoted to the Interests of the People of Elk Co.
is n ni.isiii'.n rvrnv Tin rtsivw,
HY'joiix v. i()m:r:.
, Ojiir in the Court l!"ii-r.
Tr.nMs One olhir nml Fifty Ci nts per
nnnuin. invmiably in ndvnncc. No divia-
lion from I hoe terms.
JOHN O. HALL, Pnornii-.TOR.
ltatos ol Advci'l iint?-
Adra'rs and Execute's Notice, each
t! times f - 9
.Auditor's Notices, each ot)
Transient Advrlisiiifr, per square of
10 lines or loss, ') times or Icfs 2 00
J-'.ir each (nihseiiijnt insertion (0
J'rofesaional cdars, 1 year 6 00
rl oecinl notices per line 13
.Obituary nnd Marriage Notices, eneh 1 00
Yenrly A'lvrrtisini. one square 10 00
Y;arly Advertising, two squares 15 00
.Ysni'y Ailver'inp thvco squnrcs 20 0(1
Y larly Advertising, V column -" 00
Yinrly Advert isng, I column .13 o
Yjnrly AdACtisiujr, 1 column TOCO
Advertisements displayed more tiinn
ordinarily will bo charged for nt
the late (per column) of CO 00
) DBBIMG DEPARTMENT.
Having lately ndded materially to
o.ir slock of )oh Type, we arc prepared to
Mo nil kinds of work in a manner which can
not. be excelled by any establishment be
tween Yt'illianisport and Erie.
Cards, Hill Heads, rrnirnmmcs
rheck.1. Notes, Handbills,
Blanks, Envelopes, Labels,
Tags, Yi'iting Cards, I.ctlcr Heads
innd nny other work usually done in a coun
try office.
Orlh 0oiiiifi girertorjj.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
President Judge It. G. White.
Ad-.lit jon:il Law Judge Ilcury W.
Wi'lintns.
Associate Judges E. C. Sehultzc,
Jesse Kjler.
District Attorney L. J. Blakely.
Sheriff James A. Malono.
Frothonotary, &o. G. A. Rathbun.
Treasurer James Coyne.
Co. Superintendent James Blakely.
Commissioners "Willi'iin A. Bly, J.
W. Taylor, Louis Vi.lhr.er.
Auditors Chirk Wilcox, Byron J.
Jones, Jacob MeCaulfy.
County Surveyor Geo. Walnisley.
TIME OF IloUHNa COURT.
Second Monday in January,
Last Monday in April.
First Monday in August.
First Monday iu November.
B E A L E ' G
(i.ate row:'.i.L's)
JZ M IJ 11 O C A T I O N !
1.V1R ALL DISKASHS INCIDENT TO
Jlorscn, Cattle and the Human Flesh,
i e.)iiiring the use of an ext ernal application.
This new Compound, repaved by a prac
tical Chemist having a lull knowledge of
nil tho medical virtues of each ingredient
thai enters into its coinpositio'i, is wan-an-tod
to pvooil noytbtiifi; of the kind ye.t of
fered to the ptib'.ie as an cxl'-rnnl nnplic.v
tion for the diseases ."it v. hieh a is recom
mended. Wo are satisfied .hat it will wovk
its own road into the -,,!,!";. let. ee of ail who
use it, and those w ho try it once will never
be without it, and llierct'ure wo r:-'y '-a ex
perience as the b"sl test of its us-fuhics.;.
It is pronounce 1 by Farrier.:, and all v. ho
have tried it to be the best apj l'.'-uiir.n ev
er used. This Eillb: ii'.at i U II li.'l-i Il-'CIlplI
up for over eight years, an 1 it if only
through the inei ei.sio i. and urgent
request of my fi i( lid.! and t lie I'u'-'.ic that
1 send it forth as tlu grand rrraodiat ii'Biit
for the various iiis-.!so ; t. v.-hi!i that noble.
and useful animal, lh:s II')!!MK, is subject.
Many rem' ties h-ive 1 e .-n o'l'cred to the
Public iiiid'-r ditiV-rcut fonts.'', some of these
are injurious, othci:; at best of litlln uf.e,
nnd many who'.ly in. propt-r to nnsv.'cr the
purposes for which they arc reeomn.-:ided.
A judicious and really useful composition
frecfroiathf.se objection!, has therefore
long been desired by n.iroy gciitlenim wdio
havo valuable horses, anl are unwilling to
trust them to the caro of designing and
pretending Fairieip. Their wi-dics are at
length fully gratified, by Dr. ISeale being
prevailed upicn to allow this valuable Em
brocation (which has proved so cfJca-jious
to the various diseases i to be prepare 1 and
brought out to tho puV.ia.
Tliis embrocation was extensively used
by tho Government during tho war.
Address nil orders lo
DM. LDMOXD I5EALH,
002, South Second St. I'hil'a.
KfiyFor Sale by Dordwell & Messenger,
Ridgwny, Ya. opBtily
rilTlE MOST RELIABLE CUSHION use I
J ou Milliard Tables ij tho
CAT-GUT CUSHION",
Manufactured by Knvunajrli & Decker, mi l
patented Dec IS, 18-'.'i. (See Seieutific Ani
ericun, volume 1'!, number 11.)
It i3 tho ONLY Cushion that possesses
nil the qualities essential ton perfect Cush
ion. If is tho most clastic nnd most durable
Cushion eer oticre ito the bi'.liard-playinij
public, aa is abundantly proven by the
great demand for it since its introduction.
The peculiarity which distinguishes tiio
CAT -OUT Cushion renders' it superior
to nil others, is the tightened cor-l of cat
gut which overlies (lie face and ed;re of tho
rubber, and viinuiu;; the lull lciii'li of tho
Cushion, which ju-events the hall from bed
ding into the ru' ber and jumping from iho
table. The addition of tho cat-gut cord
also adds r.iueli to the elasticity of the Cush
ion. The CAT-CUT Cushion has already been
applied to over 1000 tables which are in
constant uso. It can be upplie I to tables
of anvinako, for $" per set.
KAVANAOH & DECKER'S Factory, nt
the corner of Centre nnd Canal .Streets, N.
Y., is tho most complete of its kind in the
world. The machinery is of the most im
proved character, the lumber drying room
the largest in iho United States, the mate
rial used tho best that can be purchased,
and the workmen thoroughly bkilled.
Billiard Clutb, Ilnlls, Cues nnd Trim
mings, a'l of the best wake, constantly ou
hand.
KtvanagH and Decker nre the only agents
in this country for IC VY S CUE CEM KNT,
adjudged by cmpeteut authorities lo bo
the best cement ever used.
Full Size Table cut down for $100.
Send fur Ji'ustfuUtl Price List.
K WAN AO. II 1 F.OKEU,
Cor of Conire and Canal Pts.,
apMly New York City.
J01LXG. HALL, rmjmdor.
JOILVF. MOORE, Puhlisltrr.
VIOLETS.
It was Spring. nnd golden arrows
Melted through the purple showers,
And t lie orioles uud sparrow s
Twittered of the coming flower3.
Life nnd Lovo with Flora tripping
Gaily down the wooded n isles,
Into light their brushes dripping.
Tainted nil the earth with smiles.
Golden days they were, nnd faster
Never ran the sweet hours by.
As we strolled ncroes the pasture,
Yiolet hunting, Eelle and I.
V,'e were young, and she was fairer
Than the common type of girls ;
Nea'h her jaunty hat tho wearer
Shook a wealth of glossy curls.
Teeth of snowdrops set in roses,
Eyes like blue-bells in the snow
What to me were all tho posies,
If her smiles were mine to know ?
Wliilc we loitered in the meadow
Where the blossoms earliest grew,
Bello wit h voico of music said, " 0,
I have found a violet blue !
"This woe little flower and tender
Will you deign for me to wear ? "
And she twined its stem so slender
In my button-hole with care.
And I said, " O ! Belle ! a fairer
Than the meadow ever knew,
Waiietii for the happy wearer
Who for his shall gather you ! "
Every spring, from out the grasses,
lilue and sweet tho violets peep,
Smiling- upon him who passes
By the treasures thai they keep.
There the marble cnst3 a shadow,
Lengthening o'er a little mound ;
And alone I walk tho meadow
Where a fading tlower was found.
elected Iftiscellanij.
TILS LAST OF THE COHANS ;
OPt, THE FATAL SHOT.
Among the many fair castle homes
of England, there could be none fairer
or more stately than Co an Castle,
Suffolk. Tlicro lived Squire Coran, a
fine specimen of tho olden slio.il stem,
r ... gcd, ad ;ibt ndi g as ouc of his own
oaks, yet, vrillial geuiul nud kiudly.
Tho meanest peasant on his estate
walked brisker when he saw the squire,
and atu'iled for Gvc minuter alter hearing
his merry " Fine morning ; first.rate
wcatl er '. "
ic:ir!y for'y years had passed since
llic flquiro laid his lair prirl -wife in the
vault, of the Gorans nearly twenty
since he. had buried by her sido tha one
son ( f tiioir bhort wodiuek. Yet Goran
Ciisile ffas not deflate. Tlie heir,"
though he had died young, had lived
long enough to leave a widow and two
orphan babes to his father's cure.
These orphans were now grown up, and
the names ol Hugh and Emma le-ounded
through the castle, bhouted iu the lull,
cheery voico of tho hearty old im.n.
Dearly did he love thctn both ; hut
Hugh was Eonewhat wild and wayward,
and would sometimes, thoughtlwsly
thwart his grundsire's imperious will.
One sore subject ever lay botweeu them.
The old tquitu was a f;taut in stature
and strength ; his youth had been
signalized by feats of prowess uud
daring, of which ho never wearied to
boast. Hugh Goran, on the contrary,
had email tasto for field sports, and,
being stijall and dc-Iicnto in lramo, con
stantly took to himself his grandfather's
careless scuffs about ' ladymca " nud
" degeneracy."
Not half a :n!lo from Coran Castle
was a lrtrgc tract of heath aud moorland,
very wild tiud lonely, and at that time
inlestcd with high way men. It viai
necessary to cvo-.m this district to lvt'eh
the neighboring village of V rot tel.
One day, in the winter time, Hugh
Coran had occasion to go to this village,
He did not return when expected, and
diuuer was served without him. Ju.-t
as it was 07cr, lw came in, excusing bis
tardiness by saying that suspicious
characters had been seen ou tho moor,
and, thereforo, tie had waited for com.
panious ou his homeward journey. His
mother was about to commend what to
her Keemed but prudence, when the
squire b-ir.-t into a storm of iuvectivc nt
Hugh's "cowardice." When had he
feared any mortal man least of all, a
midnight robber ? The moorland offered
uo shelter for a band of highwaymen,
and lie took shame that ouc of his race
dreaded encounter with a singlo foe.
Old a ho was, he would ride over Coran
Moor alone nt midnight, nnd no hand
bhould harm him or toueli his purse.
He blushed yes, that was the stinging
word for tho hut of the Gorans of
Coran.
In vain did Hugh answer gently
that ho did not thiuk his courage
would fail if put u&efully to the proof ;
that he owned he had hut little of the
reeklcs3 dariug of the ancient Gorans ;
Iu htill ho thought ho modestly" said
lie thevyht, for the youth was no brag
gart that ho would ri.-k his own life to
save another's. 1'ut tho squire's last
words were o michl His blue eye
Cashed, lie threw down his knif-, hft
his dinner unfinished, and his mother
and bUter in tears.
mm
niDGVi'AY, PEKXA.,
lie did not show himself nli that
evening. I,to at night a messenger
came from Wrottcl, bearing tidings of
the sudden and dangerous illness of an
old friend of tho squire's. Tho man
who brought the letter went on with
another to n more distant neighbor.
" I shall go at once," said tho squire
to Emma and her mother. " I must
fee him again in life."
"TIimi lingers will attend you?"
said the widow, timidly.
No, Latyiner Goran was no court pop
injay, who could not take caro of him
self ; he was not afraid of tin d irk
cowards were unknown iu his younj;
days.
iSquirijj Coran went to his room to
prepare for his journey. JJoasting
never strengthens one's own courage,
and he took great caro that his pistol
was in good order. At another time,
notwithstanding tho reality of the
danger, ho would not have taken the
pistol ; but now ho loaded it with
deadly precision, and laid it carefully
in his great-coat pocket.
Emma ran to call her brother to say
good-by, but she found his door locked,
and could get no answer.
" Let him alone," said her grand
father, " let him alone ; example is
better than precept," nnd so he rode
away.
There was only a cloudy moon, but
tho stout hearted traveler know his road,
and was as little likely to miss his way
on tho moor as is a straet Arab to lose
himself in London. His thoughts went
beforo him to his dying friend, and his
indignation with IIuh slowly faded
from his mind, when, just as a cloud
obscured the moan, he heard the snort
of a spurred horse, a shade w fell on his
path, a hand suddenly caught his
bridle, and a pistol was pointed at his
head.
" Your money or your lifo ! "
Tho words were spoken quickly, in a
disguised but agitated voice. There
was just light enough to sec tho high,
wayman was a slight built man, of uo
apparent physical lorco, yet the squire
remembered his vain boast as he felt
how completely he was in the stripling's
power. There ir.is a moment's silence,
The squire's hand was in his great-cuat
pocket. Did the robber thiuk he was
getting his pnrso 'I Did the squire know
ho was searching for his pistol 'I
The high wayman fpoke again iu the
same strange voice, which Kcenud full
ol smothered passion or grief; " J 'have
heard you would never yield to a single
man."
The squire's blood boiled at the im
plied tauut, but yet tho pistol was tcr.
ribly near his head, and ho felt that in
! uch a case neither strength nor cour.
age can always win victory.
" Nor would I yield to you," he said
he knew not what prompted him
" not to you al'itio ; but for that oth:r
fellow ljoking over your shoulder! "
The robber started shudderingly, and
turned. Swift as lightniutr the squire
aimed his own pistol, and fired.
For a moment tha in iorland seemed
illumined ; out of the fiendish bright,
ncss came a light, sharp, almost girlish
shriek. A second mor-j all was dark
and quiet, and tho squiro realised he
stood alone in tho dim moonlight with a
dead man at bis feet.
A stern man was Lalymer Coran r.f
Coran, and ho was not to be brought to
a pause on his journey because ho had
chanced to slay a thief. Nor was it the
nwo and horror of juatico which Idnnoh.
cd end flushed his cheek as ha rodo on.
No, his rigid justice argued that tho
man det-erved his death, only it wan not
meet that such as he should have bo.
t rayed an honorable gentleman to dc-eoit.
For he krew that he had veritied bis
bca-t, and saved bin nelf -by a iii !
That haunted him as he idoo i.J in the
grim chamber of Wrottcl Clock Imn-o,
aud saw tho last of his old friend, tho
county inagistratrt. He dispatched uo
one to tho dead robber time enough
for that when he returned in fie morn
ing. Then he took officers of justice with
him, and they respecting his position
and tho depression in which he seemed
plunged, walked quietly tide by side, a
a little way behind his horse. At last
they reached the spot where tho deadly
deed had taken place. To their nstou
Lhmcnt, a little group of people were
gathered about, nud as they drew near
they heard a sound of lamentation, and
tho squire 6aw his own livery servauH,
one of them holding the bridle of a ri
derlcsi horso. They turued startled,
white faces to him, as he rode up, aud
wero silent.
" What is the matter ? " he demaud
e 1 imperiously.
" Cb, he canna be dead ! " the b.rjnie
lad lio !" sobbed an old Seo'eh gioom.
" t?omo ono has shot Mr. Hugh," said
two or throe at ouea
"It must havo been a duel," said
sumo one, " for the young master has
his own pistol with him."
The squire pushed his horse tl. rough
tho crowd. Ou the blood stained heath
er lay his antagonist of tho uierlit beforo
MAY 2M, 18G7.
his own young grandsou tho back
of his head completely shattered, and
stains of blood on his fair, boyish face;
Tho steward knelt by tho corpse, disen
gaging the pistol from the stiff gtas-p of
tue dcaa. lie looked at it with won.
doring, bewildered eyes, and said :
" It has never been loaded 1 "
Then the old squiro understood it all
he understood that his boastful, pro
Toking words had aggravated Hugh to
put his courage to the test, iu tho hope
of convincing him there is uo trial of
bi'avcrj betweju a honest man and arjb
ber. And the squire understood also
that had that unloaded pistol been what
it seemed, he, tho honorable Goran of
Coran; had only escaped by a lie !
'.' I did it! " he said, gloomily ; aud
the two deferential officers of justico
came aud stood at either sido of Laty
mcr Gorau, aud his own servants fell
back in horror and dismay. Alas I for
tho twice bereaved women, who sat
waiting and weeping, nnd as yet hoping,
in the proud old castle towers 1
Latymer Corin was spared the igno
miny of a trial he did not even live to
hear that tho coroner's jury returned a
verdict of "misadventuro." The stout
old hca rt was broken. Hugh's funeral
was delayed but a singlo day, that his
grandfather and he, " the last of the
Corans," might bo buried together
Their names the murderer and tho mur
dered, were written on ono tablet. Not
a word was said of the ancient and hon
orable lineage, nor of tho tragedy in
in which both lives closed only their
ages, the old man aud the boy, and the
text
" Fathers, provoke not your children
to anger."
The breaking up of a gambler's
retreat in Boston, the other day, led to
the discovery of a closet with a small
pane of colored glass, and inside of
which a man was discovered with a
telegraph machine. The man in the
cloSiit and the telegrapd were useful iu
in tl.is wDc : Whenever a countryman
eutcred to play and try his luck at cards,
he was seated at the table with his
back to the closet door, thereby giving
the man in the closet a fair chance to
see the cards held in his hands. The
telciriaph machine was supplied with a
wiro running from the machine under
the carpet, to the burincss man at the
tablo, who was thus acquainted with
all the cards ho was playing agaiust,
thus gaining advantage aud ultimately
fleecing his victim.
A frightful crime is reported to have
come to .ight at Dlandville county, Ky.
A man uamed Hudson went to that
place about eleven years ago, from
South Carolina, leaving his lamily be
hind him. In Iilandvillc he seduced a
girl named ISolcher, and on her asking
him io marry her, he told her that he
had a wile and family. This enraged
her, and with tho assistance of her sister
aud a man named McNabb, she killed
him by driving tho spindle of a spin,
ning wheel into his ear. The body
was then nung up in tho cabin which
Hudson had inhabited, and when found
;t was supposed ha had committed
suicide. Tho girl married McNabb.
A short timo since romorse compelled
her to divulge tho fearful secret, and
she has been arrested with her nccorn"
pliees.
A most atrocious criminal, convicted
of having brutally outraged and thou
murdered a littlo girl of less than too
ycnrR, hm just boon, hung in London.
Although quiet during tvs confinement,
lie was seizjd by an uncontrollable ter
ror, and struggled against his doom
with tho utmost vl ilenec. It took four
or Eve wardens to restrain him, and it
was not until ho was thrown upon tho
the ground that it. was possible to pinion
him. Another fit of terror soized him
when ho was brought in night of tho
scaffold. lie again strug'ed violently
to release himself, and he had to bo
dragged up the steps of tho scaffold by
two or three wardens, and held under
the beam while the rope was adjusted.
The bolt was hastily drawn, and it was
while still wrestling with his fato that
the couvict was hurried out of the
world.
George Francis Tiaiu says our
modem marriago service should read
thus ; Clergyman Will you take this
brown stone, this carriage and span,
these diamonds for thy wedded bus
baud? Yes. Will you take this un
paid milliner's bill, this high waterfall
of foreign hair, affectation, accomplish
lu.'nts aud feeblo constitution for thy
wedded wife '( Yes. Then, what mar.
has joined together let tho next best man
run nway with, so that the first divorce
court may tear them asunder,
The police authority of St. Louis
havo hit upon the novel idea of disguis
ing a member of the police forco in wo
niau's gr.rments and sending him to
thoso I'iciilitts in the city wheie reapeo.
table ladies are insulted by loafers. T! e
result is that several of the loungers a o
i.i custody.
VOLUME SEYEX-m'MBERW.
TERMS I 50 PER ANNUM.
A HOTJSE TTH A BOMANCE.
Thrco miles west of the village of
Georgetown, Madison county, New
York, is a phce known as Mather farm.
It comprises some seven hundred und
thirtysfive acres. A corrspondcut, of
the Oucida Dispatch furnishes some
interesting facts in its early history :
In tho year 1810, an individual
known at that time as Lewis Anatho
Mullcr, and as a French refugee, settled
on this tract, then a wilderness, more
desolate than now, nnd attempted the
establishment of a village. He erected
a spacious dwelling, strong and solid
wails being constructed of hewn timber,
every bent being raised clo?cly npainst
another, making a wall of solid timber
twelve to fourteen iuches thick. This
fortress liko frame was well covered
without, and most carefully finished
within, after a style best fancied by the
strange builder. Tho walls, present
a nieo finish and time has proved their
durability. The building is of the Eu
ropean style of architecture of that time,
being not far from eighty lect long, nnd
of proportionate widtlt, divided into
rooms and halls. Originally, there were
seven fire places. It is said that in the
cellar an apartment, uudiscoverablo by
a stranger, whose secret purposes were
never told, was provided. Large, com.
niodious out-buildings wero erected, two
largo store houses, numerous fruit trees
planted, and nn artificial pond raised,
the dam of w'uic h years ago was leveled
by subsequent occupants, none of whom,
to my knowledge, have owned it or any
part of it. Muller brought here with
Lira about one hundred and fifty hands,
as stated by some of our oldest men,
who knew him and assisted him in his
enterprise, and 150,000. Many sup.
posed him to be Louis l'hillippe him
self, King of Franco, and that he sought
this secluded hll and costrueted this
house in its peculiar manner as a
means of defense iu case of danger.
At any rate thcro was not, and is not
to-day any doubt that ho was one of the
nobility of Franoo, for when Bonaparte
abdicated ho returned to Franco, leav
ing his family (wife and cliildern') in
New York. Evideutly no pains were
spared to make this lonely placo pljasant,
and render tho lands, naturally sterile,
fruitful and agreeable to the apparently
cultivated taste of the exiled French
man. Consequently forests wero leveled,
and hundreds of acres cleared with par.
ticular care. Money was lavished, i.nd
labor without stint applied to beautify
this wild, secluded hill. On going to
Franco ho left his property iu care of
his servants who acc nnpunied bin: bete.
But after a few years he returned to
New Yoik theoc : to leorg.down tifiud
his adopted home nearly deserted, every,
thing iu a dilapidated state ; his valtia.
bio and costly lurn'.ure carried away or
broken, and of all the property which he
bought, amounting toI50,0U0 or more,
it is related that ho did not recover
5150. He returned to New York, dis
posed ol his lands aud immovablo estate
at a ruinous bargain, and sailed for
Franco' None in this vicinity know
to this day who ho wa, or what was his
real character. The farm has ever
since been owned by parties living in
New York, or iu eastern counties, aud
bus lecu worked, when worked at all,
by teaatiU who wanted to live bad
enough to do it, always at a poor lay,"
even if all their own way. An air
of romance Ins ever since clung around
that stern but r-tttely mansion rith its
lofty poplars nnd spacious green in front.
And, until recently reports were lite,
and frequently believed, that this house
was haunted, and its oceuptinls have
peon frightened palo, nud some have
becu known to leave, actually believing
in tho mysterious talcs of haunted
houses, and that this was one-
A TlIOUUUT FO!l T1I13 Dr.iCONTEN'-
TED. Iu tho days of the Old Brewery,
nt the five Points, New York, a woman
and her only daughter, a child five
years of age, occupied a loathsome cor
ner of tho first floor. It was tho custom
of the mother, alter covering the child
with all the rags which hud been collect,
cd duung the day, to place a Tew broken
boards, digniQed by the title of a door,
iu such a position as probably kept tho
hjrrible plaeo half a degree warmer
than it would been without such a
shelter. Ou one occasion, after the
mother had adjusted the l-;ir-l.- f..r the
uigh', tho child, probably c.pV..-n i:ig
eouio seusutious al comf it, tail :
" Mother, what does poor p. . pie do
that's i:ot no door to cover thorn '! ''
Hon. Thcodoro S. Fax'on, of
Utica, New York, has subscribe 1 820,
000 upon o m iitio i that the county
ivi'.l raise 820,00 J more, tj provide a
home for the aired.
It has been agreed by the Court and
counsel that John II.
urratt shall be
tried ou tho ''7lh in;;t.
Cablegram is the tntost n m f..r
iu ssages kuut Ly the Atlantic telo.
graph.
I wast a wi?i". ""
I want a w ife
To cheer my lifo ;
I care not what shn lacks in beauty,
Ko I but Tind
'J tint, she is kind,
And knows and practices her July.
I want a wife
Who through her lifo
Was licver known to bo a flirt ;
Who'll bring to mo
A recipe
To keep the buttons on a ehirt.
If such a ono
Dwells 'nenth the sun,
And don't mind leaving friends behind her
With tho n'ulhor of this
She'll find true bliss,
By informing him where he may find her.
The new india-rubber ears for ladies
aro boxed every night.
When is a tombstone liko a rushlight?
.When it is sot up for a late husband.
What's best to prevent old men from
despairing ? Echo : " Fairing."
A young lady must make a hit if she
dislikes to be a miss.
Give strict attention to your own af.
fairs aud consider your wife oneof them.
A Nevada paper wishes bachelors to
be taxed heavily enough to bring them
cither to matrimony or suicide.
A young v. oman who went to buy a
sewing machine blushingly requested to
sco one with a " follor."
It is well enough that men should bo
killed by love. Man born of woman
should die of woman.
Those ladies who have a passion for
tea. parties should remember that tattle
begins with T.
A young lady, if a visitor knocks at
the front door, will sometimes send word
" engaged," though she' never had on
offer in her life.
Thirteen old maids recently assembled
at a tea party iu Twenty-third street, N.
Y., whoso combined ages wero nearly
a thouand years.
A clergyman gave a toast that was not
very gallant at a late fireman's celebra
tion : " Our fire engines May they bo
like old maids, ever ready but never
wanted."
In Washington a man shot a woman
because he did not marry her J in Cin
cinnali another shot one because ho did.
What can a bachelor do to save his ba
con ?
" Mrs. P. is happy, ain't she? " said
a husband to his wife. " I should
think she ought to bo ; she has a cam
el's hair shawl, two-thirds border," was
the reply.
A very modest young'lady who was
on board a packet ship, it is said sprang
oil of her berth and jumped overboard
on hearing the captain, during a storm,
order tho mate to " haul down tho
sheets."
A young girl was one day asked :
" Do tell mo why it is Cupid continncs
so long after the invention of powder ti
uso arrows ? To avoid the report of
fire-arms, which would attract the jeal
ous, was tho reply.
A lawyerj neither young nor hand,
some, when cxaming n young lady wit
ness iu court, desiring to perplex her
said: "Miss, upon my word, you are
very pretty." The young lady replied:
" I would return tho compliment, srr,
were I not under oath."
A young gentleman named Harry
Turn recently married hij cousin of the
same name. When interrogated as to
why ho did so, he replied that it had
always been a maxim of his that " ono
good turn deserves auotber," and he had
acted accordingly.
" If you ever marry," said a Roman
Consul to hi3 son, " let it bo ono who
has sense enough to superintend the set
ting of a meal of victuals, taste enough
to dress herself, pride enough to wash
beforo breakfast, and sense enough to
hold her tongue when sho has nothing
to say."
Josii Billings on tue Death dP
Art em a s Ward. Doth has done a
cruel thing lately. Doth seldom is kind,
but Deth iz imparshal ; that is all that
can be said iu his favor. He mows with
hiz sithe awl round the world, now ia
this field, now iu that; wheat flowers
and weeds diop, will cud wither, for ho
sit lies early and late, iu citti rind town,
by the hurthatUu aud awaonh whare the
wanderers are.
Deih hez done a cruel thing lately.
Deth seldom iz kind. Hero a lather, a
mother, a wee small thing, but a month
on a visit ; thare, .Mary aud Charley
go dowu in white clothes Deth mows
aud uever iz weary ; Deth whistles und
mows ; inenny it. Ids are all bare, for
Deth cuts elus.-', as well ns cruel.
Deth luvs to r.iow ; 'tiz bis stile. Ho
iz old, nnd sligh with hi, sickle ; ho
mowed for Abel ef'ell at.d t a- Abel ov
yeerday.
Deth mows strangely, and round fall
the darysinl grass; nl-ine, snarling,
statu the Luavse tt.is.-sel, left for wh it ?
IVlh kaut toll, I .r God only knows.
Dct'i yu hev dun a cruel tliim; late'y ;
yu have ivotc! whero the wittyest ono
ov them awl sto '!, whnze winds hav
gf no
l : '.' a v i
er the wcul 1, v ho,e
ill ,iz soft az a
liari w..7. goe
r.i
IV'i, u !
frien ! A.ii n. i
niTvel wh ire inv
' I, in 1 If Jin ir wean
iui.u n:: g im.u f..r the il 1 o ' lor hc.ii l,
I am sad an i 1 am .-nny.
M'l.V i- I'm i t.' , "as I k i a p-i.
knili ? !! cause tl.e si rini; br'nts cit
the IUij. i