The Elk advocate. (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, December 24, 1864, Image 1

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PROFESSIONAL CARDS
... T. T. A i"l"X"M87
Alt OKSIT AT La W
LOCK HAYEK TA.' ".
SOTJTHPR JP, WTT.T.TR
Attorney's at Law, Ridgway Elk ton
business Dromrttlv.
, - CHAPIN & WILBUR.
f Attorneys and Ooanselers at Law, OfRc
""hi Chapin'a Block, Ridgway Elk Co. Pa
I oracular attention given to collections
and alt monies promptly remitted. Will
also praotice in adjoining counties.
' " J O l'fNGTiTL L
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Kid gway Klk County Penna
LAURIE J.BLAKELY,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELREL
AT LAW.
St. Mary's, Elk County Pennsylvania
DR.WT AMESBLAKELY
St. Mary's, Elk 0unty Pa.
DR. W. W. SHAW,
I Practices Medicines fc Surgery
Uentreviile i!lkJo., Pa.
1DR. J. S. B OR DWELL
? Eclectic -Physician,
(Lately of Ifarren county Pa.)
Wi'l promptly answer ell professional
alls by night or day. Residenco one
door East of the late residence of Hon.
J. L. Gillis.
D
R. C. R. Earmja-, Kersey Elk
Co., Pa.
Will atteud to all calls
July 21, 18(31.
night or day.
HOTEL CARDS.
FRED. KORB'S,
Eagle Hotel
Luthersburg, Clearfield Couuty Pa.
BsSr-Frcdrick Korb Proprietor, bav.
ias built a lanje and commodious house,
j .1... .......... r !
the traveling public
Luthersburg, July ltith 18(31.'
LUTHER SB ERG HOTEL.
Lutlioriibiig, C'icarfic!d I'a
WILLIAM SCIIWEM, Proprietor.
Luthersburg, July 27th 1SC4. tf.
NATIONAL UOTt.L!
Corner of Peach Street and ;
the Buffalo Read,
M Ii I K 1J A .
ENOS B. HOYT, Proprietor
fcjyThis House is new and fitted up
with especial caro for the convenience
and comfort of guests, at moderate rates.
JKaJfUOOl) STABLISQ A I TACIIEl"gga
EXCHANGE HOTEL,
Ridiicay, Elk county Pa.,
DAVID THAYER, Prop'r.
$(&-This houso is pleasantly situated on
the bunk of the Clarion, in the lower ond
of the town, is well provided w'nh house
room and stabling, and the proprietor will
Fpare no pains to render the stay of his
guests pleasant and agreeublo.
Ridgway July 28, 1800.
iiyde TfcTifsl
Mrs- E- O- Clements,
Proprietress-
Ridgivay, Elk County Pemia
lit m&w
Boot-jack Elk County T3,
11. U SIION5, Pnov'n.
RidgwayNov. 28th 1803.
CLEARFIELD HOUSE,
cohneb of Market and Water Rt's
Clearfield Pa
GEO. N COLBURN, Proprietor
S7- MARY'S HOTEL
St. Mary's Etic County Penna.
M. WELLENDORF, Prop'r.
ft? HO'OE
LOCK I tVL:, I'a.
E. W. BIGONY, Proprietor.
Omnibus running to and from the Depot
iree of charge.
BUSINESS CARDS
IjOCK Hatf.n, Clinton County Pa.
-JEALERSin Flour, Grain and
XJ Feed near t'ao Passenger Depot.
OORIIEAD HOUr,E, Main St
Brookvillo Pa., C N. Kretz. Prop'r
This house has been refitted and furnish
d in a neat style, and is every way
adapted to the wante ofthe public
Ridzwiiy Markets.
Corrected weeeklv: .
Apples, (dry) buskel - - S
. Buckwheat " " r - .
50
00
00
20
Beans,
Butter , .
Beef
Board
Corn
', Flour '
Hidei ,
Hay .
. Oat
, Wheat
Rye
Fhipglei
u
ii
u
(
((
((
'u
l
4t
(I
II
IS
II
IV
II
M.
bushel
bbl.
lb
ton
bu.
u
ii
M.
Ofcfil
10
00
1
12
20
1
2
1
4
50
00
OS
00
00
60
5G
02
Ml My
P. WBARRETT Editor INDEPENDENT. "TERMS-$1 25 per Annum if paid in Advance
VOL
1304
PHILADELPHIA fc ERIE RAIL
ROAD. This great line traverses
the Northern and Northwest counties of
Pennsylvania to the city of Erie, ou
Lake Eric.
It has been leased by the Pennsylva
nia Rad Road Company, and is opera
ed by them.
Its entire lengthwns opened for pas
senger and freight business, October
17th, 18(54.
TIME OF PASSENGER TRAINS
AT RIDGWAY.
Leave Easticard.
Through Mail Train. 12
Accommodation 0
Ijravc Westward.
Through Mail Train 11
Accommodation 5
Pa.ssengcr cars run through
24 p. m.
4o a. m.
30 a. m.
80 p. in.
without
change both ways between Philadelphia
and Erie.
Ei.kijif.nt Sleki'Ino Cars on Express
Trains both ways between Williamsport
and Baltimore, and Williamsport uud
Philadelphia.
For information respecting Passenger
) business apply at ihc 3. E. corner oUth
and Market Sis.
And for Freight business of the Coin
I pauy's Agents:
S. B. Kingston, Jr. Cor. loth aud
J. IV. Reynolds Erie.
J. M. Drill, Agent N. C. R. 11. Bal
tiniore
II II
TIorsTON,
Gen I. Freight Aft. 1'hiVa.
H. W. GwiSNER,
Gen I. Ticltel Agl. Phil' a.
Jos. D. Potts,
General Manager, Wmsp't.
TMOKINSON & Co. DEALERS i"
J Mirehandise Provisions &c., on the
Rend ii tv system, ut prices much
t
the advantage of purchasers.
ft!
Deal or in
Clothing, Ilitfl. Men's Furnishing Goods
WATER STREET.
Lock Hayek, Clinton Co., I'a.
fMnkxjenz
T ft Ii i, S
Ccntreville, Elk county Pa
XTJO L LJ 11 TTSfAl .
CcntreviJte, Elk county I'a.
fcs?Gcncral Manufacturer of 'Vagous,
Buggies &C.-ALSO Furniture, sucli as
Bureaus, Tables, Statias Bedsteads and
Chairs. All kind of Rcpairiii done at
reasonable rates.
.BOOK STORE,
ST. MARY'S, ELK COUNTY TA.
In tho room formerly occupied by
Doct. Blakely.
" COUNTY DIRECTORY.
Vrcsident Judie.
R. G White, Wellsborough.
Associate Judges,
V. S, Brockway, Jay tp.
E. C. Schultzo, St. Mary's-
Hon.
Hon.
Hon.
P. W,
Hays, Ridjrway
Prothenotary , Reg. and Rcc.
Ceorgo Ed. Weis, Ridgway
District Attorney,
J. C. Chapin, Ridgway
Treasurer,
Charles Luhr. St. Mary's
County Surveyor,
George Waliusley, St. Marys
Commissioners,
Charles Weis, St. Mary's
Julius Joues, Benezett
Joshua Keefer, Jones
Auditors,
R. T. Kyler, Foi
Henry Warner, Jones
II. D. Derr, Benczett
NOTICE. Is hereby given that
there will be a meeting of the Stcckhol.
ders of the Clarion River Navigation
Company, at the House of Win. H.
Schrani, Brockwayville on Saturday the
litaday ot December next, for the
purpose ot organizing the company and
the election of a President and four man
agers as required bj tho act of incorpo
ration. AH are requested to attend.
N. B. LANE,
A. I. WILCOX,
J. S. IIYDE,
GEO. DICKINSON,
N. M; BROCKWAY.
CommUsioneu,
Ridgway Nov. 14th 1?64.
186 4
mm
Kidgway Elk County Penna.,
PEACE AND WAR.
"One murder makes a man a villain,
ten thousand a hero." Byron.
Let others sing the song of War,
Men's hatred to increase :
Bo mine tho song of Hope nnd Joy,
Love, Unity aud Pcaco.
Away with cannons, powder, ball,
And all their kinderd train ;
- They've always been the curte of
man,
And so they will remain boys,
And so they will remain.
Did ever war throughout the world,
Oue blessing yet bestow ?
Has it not made men worse than
brutes,
Filled every land with woo ?
Taxation, debt and misery
Have followed in the train
It ruined every countrj yet,
And so it will agaiu, boys,
And si it will agaiu.
The mutilated forms behold,
Who have escaped with life,
And ask how many human souls
Have perished iu the strife.
Go hear the curses, prayers and
irroaus
Upon the gory plain
These things arc but the fruits of
And so they will remain, boys,
Aud so they will remain.
war
Ten thousand homes made desolate,
Ten thousand widows made,
Ten thousand murderers asking God,
To bless their bloody trade.
All justice trampled under foot
Truth treated with disdain
Such is the sad result of War,
And so it will remain, boys,
And so it will remain.
Now turn thine eyes from wretchedness,
Where Peace, in calm repese,
Has made the wilderness to smile
And blossom as the rose.
There Justic, Harmony and Truth,
And Love iu concord reign.
Peace always made men happier yet,
Aud so it will again, boys,
Aud so it will again. ,
Sayings ol Josh Billings-
It is highly important that when a
man makes up his minde tew bekum a
raskal, that he should examine hizself
clusly, and see if he ain't better kon.
structcd for a phool.
I argy in this way: if a man iz right,
ho kant be too radical, and if he is
wrong he can't be too consarvatifT.
"Tell the truth and shame the devjl."
I kno lots ov people who can shame the
devil cazy enuff, but the totUer thing
bothers them.
If you don't belcavo in "total de.
pravity," buy a quart of gin, and stnddy
it.
There is cue grate advantage in a
plurality ot wives; tha fito each other
instead of their husbands
It is a verry delicate job tew forgivo
a man without lowering him in bis owu
estimashun, and yurcs, tu.
It iz admitted now by everybody that
the man who can git fat ou Berlony
snssago liaz a good deal of dorg in
him.
I am poor, and I am glad that I am,
for I find that wealth mokes more people
mean than it does genrous.
Wooman's influenz iz powerful es
pecially when bhe wants anythihg.
Sticking up yuro nozo don't prove
ennything, for a sope-biler, when he iz
away frum hiz hum, smells everything.
No man loves tew git beat, but it iz
better tew git beat than tew be rong.
Awl kind of bores are a nuisance, but
it iz better tew bo bored with a 2 inch
auguar than n gimblet.
It iz scd that "a hoss don't know hiz
strength," and I really suppose that a
skuuk don't nuthcr.
"Be sure yuro right, then go ahead;"
but in kase of boubt, go ahead enny wa.
Men aiut apt tew git kicked ont ov
good sosicty for being ritch.
The road tew ruin is alwus kept in
goad repair, and tho travelers pay tho
expense of it.
If a man begins life bl being a fust
Lutcuant in hiz familee, be need neyer
tew look for promothun.
Tho oula profit there iz in keeping
more than one dorg is what you can
make on the board.
I havu't got as mutch munny as sum
foks, but I hav got as mutch impudense
as euny or them, and that iz the next
thing tew munny.
It aint often that a man s reputashun
outlasts hiz munny.
Don't mistake arroganse for wisduni;
menny people have thought tha waz
wizo, when tha waz onla windy.
The man who kant git ahead without
pulling others back is a limited cub.
Woman will sometimes confess her
sins, but I never knu one to confess her
faults.
Oh, what a world this iz tew live in
for the sole that iz afrade of dirt and
J dcrikry.
Satuuday December 24th 1861
A Will-
If we possessed solely tho most valu
able things in the world nnd were about
to will them away, tho following would
be our plan ofdistribution :
Wo would will to the world truth and
friendship, which are very scarce.
We would give to physicians, Bkill
and learning.
To Abolition editors power to tell the
truth occasionally.
To clergymen, zeal in . the cause of
Christ crucified, instead of the nigger
glorified.
To lawyers, merchants, brokers and
public officers, honesty.
To old women, short tongues.
To young women, common sense,
largo waists and natural feet.
To servants, obedience and hones-
ty.
To masters humanity.
To farmers punctuality and indus
try. To young sprouts of dandies, good
sense, little cash and hard work.
To old maids, goad tempers little
talk and suitable husbands.
To old bachelors, a love for virtue,
children and wives.
"A YOKE
OF CATTLK
CHAW."
AT ONE
Many years ago, a man named Miller
"one of the c.trly settlers of a neig'abor.
ing county in this State, sold a yoke ot
oxen for S50 ; and in payment received
a fifty dollar bill, which he carefullyfol
ded and deposited in his tobacco box tor
sate keeping.
Mr. M was accustomed to make
use ofthe ''weed" at any hour of the
day, or night, whenever he left an incli
nation for it. The night followiug the
sale of the oxen bo sought bis tobacco,
box, and finding the convention, put it
iu his mouth ; but not readily obtaining
tho full benefit ho expected ; he chewed
it most vigorously and effectually, ex
claiming as he did so :
"Why, there's no strength it this to.
baeco not a bit !"
When, suddenly recollecting the
transaction of the day, pnd tho place
where he had deposited the treasure, he
added :
"Great tliuuder! A yoke of oxen at
oue chaw !''
THE "RELIABLE" DESERTER.
'I he a auding war correspondent of the
New York Leader, writing "from the
front," on the Potoniao or James, says :
A litl'.o farther on I came to a reliable
deserter, who Jay on asaud heap scratch
ing himself. Theso deserters are very
uicc fellows. As I approached he arose
and saluted.
"Jes come f'ni other side, Giu'ral,"
he said.
"What do you want ?" bays I.
"I'm powerful dry," says lie.
I called an orderly and bade him fetch
some whiskey.
"Now," eaysl, "bow's things over on
your side ?"
"Wall," says he, "pretty bad . old
Leo, he ain't got no men whatsomcver;"
"I guess you lie," says I. "We felt
his line the other dayit didn't feel good.
You might just as well tell the truth-"
'.Oh !" says he, "I was only fipcakin'
figeratively-like. "IIo ain't got no men
to Bpeak of fifty or sixty hundred thou
sand, mebbe."
"ll'm that's enough," says I.
"Yes, only they ain't good for nothin.
They ain't got no ammunition."
'They keep up a d 1 ef a firing for
iren without ammunition," says I.
"Wal, yas," says he, "that's what's
run the blockade."
"Short of rations ?" says I. .
"Dreadful short," says he, "we didn't
git only a cracker every three days."
"Why I killed a lot of you up yonder
a while ago with their knapsacks full."
"O yes. That's what, they got fiu
the Shandoah Valley. They got a heap
of food up yander. Fact they has all
they want to eat jeNt uow."
"How are you off tor ordnance," says
"O, our ordnance is off 1" says ho.
"Yes," says I, "I n'pose so. But
young man, I've got an ordnanco, too,
about offal ; and I keep it pretty well
cleared out of these lines. Now, you'd
better clear out. I go in for treating my
couutrymen well, but when it comes to
rebels, and lying deserters at that, I
can't say I seo it. W bat do you expect
to do around here f
"Wall," gays he, "I kinder thort I'd
go North an' play refugee. I'm told it
pays fustrate at Lincoln meetin's."
"And bow are youogoingtogettothe
North V I asked.
"I tpect you'll send me."
"Do you?"
"Yas ; if you don't, I'll jea go back
agiu to Olo Lee, and tell him all I seen
iu your liueH."
This is what I call a good spceimon
of a rebel, Ho went in' for diotating
bis own terms,
I sent him to headquarters and hid
bim banged.
NO 20
'A FROG STORY.
A few years since, Squire . G.
was
Keeping a iietol in tlie town of C ,
State of Indiana. It was just after the
war with Mexico, and tho volunteers
had been disbanded, and were on their
way home, that among others that stop,
at Squire G's hotel was a volunteer who
carried under his arm a cigar box. To
the question if he could spend tho night
the Squire answered in the affirmative.
"fiivo me your box," said the Squire.
It was handed to him, and he was
about placing it under the bar room
counter, when the volunteer remarked,
that there was a srreat curiosity in that
1 o .
"Ah !" said the squire, "I should like
to f03 it."
Tho volunteer took the bor. drew
back the lid, and exposed to view one
of those horned frogs peculiar to Mexico.
The Squire, as he had never seen its
likebefore, took tin box and exhibited
it to tho family, as well as to several boar.
deis about the house. The nest morn,
ing tho volunteer called for his bill.
"Seventy five cents, sir," said the
Squire.
"Then you jut owe me oue dollar,"
said the volunteer.
"What for 1" aaked the Squire, open
ing I113 eyes.
"Why, for exhibiting my fro-' last
night.
The Squire found he was fairly caught
and without more ado, paid the dollar.
The volunteer went on his way re.
joioing, and tho Squire takes great de
light, to this day, in telling his "frog
storv."
DSStA Dutchman and his intended
appeared before a newly installed Dutch
squire to bo married. Biddiug them
to join hands tho squire began :
"Ilaus, dosh you lofe this womau as
mootch as you can v"
"Yaw," replied Hans.
"Katerinc, dosh you lofe
mootch as you can ?"
"No." promptly replied
"Vol, den, dosh you lofe him
II
aus as
Katerinc.
so much
replied
as marry
Katerinc.
him ?'
"Yell, den, I bronounce you man and
womans,"
Hati3 naked the charge.
' Oh ! nothing, nothing," replied the
! arc - , . i
squiia, -n you wii saiustineu a isn
too."
Some years since, tho Duke of Wel
lington was sitting at his library table,
when tho door opened, and without any
announcement, in stalked a liure of
singularly ill omen.
'Who aro you ?" asked the Duke, in
his short, dry manner, looking up,
without the least chango of countenance,
upon his Intruder.
"I am Apollyon."
"What do you want ?"
"I am ent to kill you."
"Kill me ! Very odd "
"I am Apollyon, and I must put you
to aeatli "
" 'Bliged to do it to-day ?"
"I am not told tho day or tho hour,
but I must do my mission."
"Very inconvenient very busy
great many letters to write. Call agaiu
and write mo word . I'll be ready for
you ;" aud the Duke went on with his
correspondence. Tho maniac, appalled
probably by the stern, immovable old
man, backed out of the room, and iu
half an hour was safe in Bedlam.
BEN HARDIN'S WIFE.
Ben Harden, of Kentucky, got a wife
by a rich and funny stratagem.
In the days of his young manhood,
he was hard at work on a farm of a
wealthy land owner in that State, and
there sprung up between the young la
borer and the old man's daughter what
is often called a secret attachment. By
the by attachments are generally secret.
Ben and his duloinea maiH. up matters
iu proper time, without the knowledge
or consent of his intended father-in law.
Indeed the old man never suspicioned
that the aspirations of the youth were
tending townrds an alliance with his
family and if it had ever ooourrod
to him be would have spurned tho
thought. Bon was awaieof his aristo
cratic notions, and the existence of al.
most insurmountable objections to tho
match, pne day, consulting the inge.
nuity of his nature, he devised ways aud
means to bring it about.
Going to the old man, he told hiai
that unfortunately he had conceived a
liking for the daughter of a wealthy far.
mcr in the neighborhood, and that it
was impossible togaiu tho consent ofthe
girls father; that he loved her. and she
loved him, and asked what course he
would advise him to pursue.
"Won't she run away with you," ask.
cd the old man.
"She might,", ho answered, "if I
could make tho arrangements. Do you
think it would bo right and honorable
for mo to take tho advantage in bat
way
''Certainly," replied tha originator f I
the plot. "There would bo nothinu-
wrong:"
! Hen kept at hiui and to enlisted tho.
old gcutleman that he made him a ten,
der of his home and a few dimes to car.
ryout (ho elopement.. Tho place of
meeting was arranged, and reader, yo
know what followed. Ken ran off witU
the old man's daughter, a fact which thft
old fellow snufled in the next morning'
breeze, and which chmrrinoil t!m nnt
little. 13ea .nnd his wife were far
given.
AN UGLY HOOSIEli.
A Hoosier, an awful ugly mnn,'fcli
ting his travels in Missouri said that he
arrived in Chickenvillo in the forenoon.
ami just a tew days before there had
been a boat busted, and a heap of peo
pie scalded and killed one way anil
another. So at last I went into a gro
eery, a squad of pjoplo followed in, and
one bowed and said : "It's one of the
unfortunate sufferers by tho bustin' of
the Franklin." Upon that ho asked met
to drink with him and as I put tho tuuu
bier to ray mouth he stopped me of i
sudden, with,
"I beg your pardon, stranger, but
"But what ?" says I.
"Jist fixyer mouth that way again,"
sez be
I done it just as I was gwine tu drink,
and I'll be hanged if I didn't think they
would all go into fits. They yelled and
whooped like a gang ol wolves. Final
ly one ol them sez :
"Don't make fun of the poor unfor
tunate he's hardly got over bein' blowetl
up yet. Less make up a puss."
They all throwed in and made up five
dollars. As the spokesmen handed in
the change, he axed me :
"Where did you find yourself after
the explosion '!''
"How fur from tho Franklin ?" he in
quire 1.
"Why, sez 1. "I never seed, but
as nigh as l can guess, about threo
miles,
scatter."
You'd oughtcr seen that ganjj
PUMPED IIIM.
WTo find the following good one in
the Nashville Union :
One day while Forrest was makiu
havoc ot tho railroad south of Pulaski .
a gentleman dressed iu gray called a
one of our leading hotels. The guesti
were at supper, and tho halls and sittiii'r
rooni3 were almost vacant, only a few
persons remaining in them. Amongst,
these was a government detective. Si
soon as he saw the gentleman in gray bo
thought he "smelt a mice," aud deter
mined to keep an eye on him. Grav
walked about apparently fidgety, and fi
nally took a stand near one of tho door
looking into tho dining roooui. Detec
tive approached him, and remarked :
'Forrest seems to he playing hell dowif
the road !"
Gray "Yes, he seems to have fhing
pretty much his owu way."
Detective "He's a great fellow '"
Gray "Yes, he's the greatest Gener-.
oral in the Confederacy."
Here the detective thought that ii
had made a point, had gotten a "greu
big" nibble, and tho smile, in his ci
denoted that ho did not expect t-t catc't
anything loss than a rebel spy. He pu:.
uumerous other questions, and got an
swers, all tending to confirm his suspi
cious1 Ho was in ecslaey, aud eoul 1
scarcely conceal his feelings. At la-',
ho ventured to remark :
"But, yet, if Forrest don't mind In
may be caught.
Gray And when he's caught, I hop '.
they'l hang him ! And, my good fe:
low, such fellows as you would dobettc
in the army as soldiers, than loafing
around hotels as detectives.
Detective turned on his heel and left,
tho most chop-falleu specimen seen for
many a day.
How He Did It. A committee ca'
led upon a flourishing trademuau to soli
cit a subscription fjr tho support of u
clergyman.
"Cau'tdo it, geutlenien," was there
ply : "I gave five dollars to the Rev
Mr. P -, yesterday."
After much persuasion, however, they
succeeded in getting him to put down
a like amount for the Rev. Mi. R ,
and departed with thanks; but a luiuin
afterwards he was overheard giving tha
following directions to au assistant :
"Draw off five dollars worth of Liquo:
and fill with water. Take it'out ot th
row of casks ucxt to those that yo'i w:i
tered yesterday for the Rev. Mr. P ."'
&3y"Why don't you give us a litibi
Greek and Latin occasionally V askcJ
a countiy deacon of a new minister.
"Why, do you understand those lau
guages?" "No but we pay for the best, aud w j
ought to have it."
t$"A. lady asked a pupil at a Sun
day school, "What was tho siu of h i
Pharisees?" 'Eating camels, marm,"
quickly replied tho chield. She had
read that tho Pharisee "strained at,
gnats aud swallowed camels.".
CSyAn editor aud printer downSout'i
offers to sell his whole establish mm) .
for a cloan shirt and a m?al of victual.
He has lived on promises till his wbU
kers have stopped growiug.
B5Au Irishman said a few goes
kerries gives 89 line a flavor to au ap!
pie, the,1; it would be a darliut of a.i
apple pie whioh was mado of gooscber.
riea entirely.
fX? A man took off his ooat to eho-v
a bear ho had received (oiuo yeav .
past. "Oh 1" said he, ou not baij :
able to find it, "I renjembe-, now, i;
was ea my brother Bill's arm."