VERBAL MISHAPS. Dickene Onca Made Two Bad Breake the Same Evening. Charles Dickens unre wrote to a friend: "I hnve distinguished myself In two respects lately. I took a youns ladj, unknown, down to dinner and talked to her ubout the bluliop of Dur ham's nepotism In the matter of Mr. Cheese. I found she was Mrs. Cheese. Later I expatiated to the member for Marylebone, thinking him to be an Irish member, on the contemptible character of the Marylebone constit uency and the Marylebone representa tive." Two such mishaps In one evening were enough to reduce the most bril liant talker to the condition of the three inside passengers of a London bound coach who beguiled the tedium of the Journey from Southampton by discussing the demerits of William Cobbctt until one of the party went so far as to assert that the object of their denunciation was a domestic tyrant given to beating his wife. Much to his dismay the solitary wo man passenger, who bad hitherto sat a silent listener, remarked: "Pardon me, sir. A kinder husband and father never breathed. And I ought to know, for I am William Cob bett's wife." Mr. Giles of Virginia and Judge Du val of Maryland, members of congress during Washington's administration, boarded at the house of a Mrs. Gib bon, whose daughters were well on In years and remarkable for talkative ness. When Jefferson became president Duval was comptroller of the treasury and Giles a senator. Meeting one day In Washington, they fell to chatting over old times, and the senator asked the comptroller If he knew what had become of "that cackling old maid. Jenny Gibbon." "She Is Mrs. Duval, sir," was the unexpected reply. Giles did not attempt to mend mat ters, as a certain Mr. Tuborvllle un wisely did. Happening to observe to a fellow guest that the lady who had sat at his right hand at dinner was the Ugliest woninn he had ever beheld, the person addressed expressed his regret that he should think Ills wife so ill looking. "I have made a mistake," said the horrified Tubervllle. "1 meant the lady who sat on my left." "Well, sir, she is my sister." This brought the frank avownl, "It can't be helped, sir, then, for if what you say be true I confess I never saw such an ugly family in the course ol my life." Youth's Companion. A SMALL WORD. It Haa Only Two Lettera, Yet It la Not Easy to Define. To define one word in the English language one modern dictionary takes eighteen columns of small type. And this solitary word upon which the dic tionary bestows such a wealth of elu cidation is one that hardly anybody except a 'dictionary maker can define at all. The ordinary educated, Kng llsb speaking person's knowledge of it could be expressed In about half a sin gle line. This fecund word is "of." If you were asked to define it unless you are a dictionary maker or of an allied trade probably you would have to re ply: "Of? Why. of Just means of." You might aiUI defensively, "i always comprehend perfectly what It means when I see or hear it und can use It correctly in speech, so what do I want to define it for anyway?" Rut if you were a child your actual mastery of "of would stand you In no stead whatever. You would be set to digging out and memorizing the things the dictionary had to say about It, or the driest and least Informing of them, as, for instance, that in some cases it is such a kind of preposition and in other cases some other kind and that prepositions have such and such properties when tltcy don't have some other, every bit of which you "would absolutely and mercifully forget at the first possible moment. Look over a child's grammar or "language" lesson, with its ghastly array of use- 'less bones. Saturday Evening Post. Persian Prayer Ruga. About 200 years ago small embrold ered rugs were largely made In Per sia, chiefly at Ispahan. These were f-rayer rugs, and on each of them near one end was a small embroidered mark to show where the bit of sacred earth from Mecca was to be placed In obedience to a law of the Koran, that the feoad must be bowed to the ground in prayer, this was touched by the forehead when the prostration was made, and so the letter of the ' law was carried out The custom still prevails. The Tersian women who weave the finest prayer rugs seldom weave any other kind of rug. What Ha Wished to Know. "Here's an article In this magazine entitled 'How to Meet Trouble,' " said Mrs. Wedderly. "Shall I read It to you?" "No, thank you," replied bis wife's husband. "How to dodge trouble is the brand of information I'm looking for." Chicago News. No Consolation. First Golfer (who is beating the cu rate all hollow) Never mind, Banders. Ion wait till you are saying the bur ial service over my grave. Sanders But. my good man, even then It wlT be your hole! London Opinion. Domeetio Bliea. . "Does your husband ever speak lutrahly to you?" "Ko. Thank heaven, my husband aad I are not on speaking terms." Chicago Becord-Herald. AFTER THE COLLISION. Effecte Upon the Nervea of Wrsoka ' Upon the Rails. ) A wreck sometimes upsets even the , most Iron nerved. Ouce the wreck master on his arrival noticed a bare- beaded man In overalls, covered with coal dust and blood, sitting beside his engine with tears running down his face. He recognized hlni as the en gineer, who had been hauled out a few minutes before from under the mass of twisted, battered steel that had once been a locomotive. Singularly enough, beyond a few cuts and bruises he was unhurt. He was crying be cause he could not And his cap that he had bought new that day and beg ged the wreck master to help him hunt for It. A passenger conductor of train that was derailed and had plunged down au embankment crawled out of the confusion and rendered cool and efficient help during the half hour be fore the wreck train arrived. A little later the wreck master chanced to look around and saw the conductor standing beside him holding a match box to his ear and shaking It Pres ently be put it back in his pocket, but took it out again In a moment and repeated his action. 'Wbnt's the matter with you.' asked the wreck master. "Mv watch has stopped. I cant get it to going, and I don't know what time It Is." answered the conductor, still listening to his matchbox. The wreck master took the conduct or by the shoulders and shook him rouehlv. Then he "came to."-Thad- deus S. Dayton In Harper's Weekly. MADE SURE OF IT. The Gift Waa Delayed, but the Groom Got the Bird. A wealthy patron of the turf In New York told an amusing story of a fa vorite groom and a turkey. "I had once promised this groom," he said, "a Christmas turkey, but somehow In the rush and flurry of December I forgot it It was some days after Christmas when I remem bered how I had overlooked my faith ful old friend. "Meeting blm In the paddock one morning and intending to make good my forgetfulness, I said to the groom by way of a Joke: "'Well. Jenkins, how did you like that turkey 1 sent you?' "'It was a very fine bird, sir,' said the groom. '1 came very near losing It though.' " 'How so?' said I, astonished. "'Well, sir.' said Jenkins, 'Christ mas morning came, and your turkey hadn't reached me. so 1 rushed right off to the express company and asked the manager what he meant by not sending the bird up. The managor apologized, sir, very politely, and be took me Into a back room, where there were ten or fifteen turkeys hanging, and he said the labels had been lost off thorn and I'd Just better take my choice. So I chose the largest, sir, knowing your generosity, and it was fine. It ate grand. Thank you very much Indeed, sir.' "Washington Star. Commae. . The French do not, as a rule, employ inverted commas to indicate a dialogue, but they employ the dash to Indicate a change of speakers, which Is Just as bad. Certainly many punctuation marks are sadly misused or overused. Dick ens flung unnecessary commas all over his pages whole battalions of thorn. Walter Pater also employed them with extraordinary prodigality, frequently before the word "and" where the con Junction rendered them superfluous. Pater was also overfond of the mark of exclamation, so that when he drops a "Yes" into his measured stylo It must needs appear as "YesI" But. though the Bible does without inverted com mas, there is real art iu its punctua tion. How admirably it marks the ca dence and helps the drama In that great story of the prodigal sou! Lon don Chronicle. Culpeoer'a Remedies. Old time physicians prescribed even more unsavory remedies than rancid butter, which was Emperor Menellk's cure for malarial feter. In "Culpep er's nerbnl." published originally in 1058 and reprinted as recently as 1820. are such prescriptions as "oil wherein frogs have been sodden till all the flesh is off from their bones." "horse leeches burned into powder" aud "black soap and beaten ginger." Some of Culpeper's remedies are of a more practical nature. "If redhot gold be quenched in wine," he says, "and the Vi)ne drunk It cheers the vitals and cures the plague. Outwardly used it takes away spots and leprosls." ' Cool Presence of Mind, Debtor (to Mhopgirl) It's an' outrage for your employer to have you presenl this bill here at the railroad station iu the presence of a".', these people! Tell him I'll attend to the matter as soon as I get home. And now give me a kiss, so the people will think that you are a relative and have come to bid me goodb;. !I'liegende Blatter. A Risky Study. "Why have you dropped your popu lar astronomy?" asked the visitor. "'Cause I got too many lickings," confided Tommy. "The other night I told pa that Mars' face was ever changing, and ma heard me and thought I meant her face. Next thing I didn't got any supper nnd got a lick ing besides." Chicago News. Making It Pleaaant For Her. Mrs. Goodsole (removing her wraps) I've owed you a call for a long time, you know. I hate to be In debt and I Just felt that I couldn't rest easy until I had discharged my obligations by coming to see you. Mrs. Sllptung Why, my dear Mrs. Goodsole, you shouldn't have felt that way at all. Chicago Tribune. Paid Him Back. The Mean Thing You're so conceit ed, Connie, that I believe when you get Into heaven the first question you'll ask will be, "Are my , wings on straight?" Connie Yes, dear, and I shall be sorry that you won't be there to tell me. Illustrated Bits. Now They Don't 8peak. ' Belle How silly men act when they propose! Why, my husband acted like a perfect fool. Nelle That's what everybody thought when your engage ment was nDOiTced. Clevelind Lead- it V. Miniaters Aboard Ship. A minister aboard ship has always been taken as a "Jonnh sign" by sea men. In recent years, however, this superstition has been modified to a cer tain extent. A young minister, the seamen believe, will not bring as much of a "Jonah" with him as an old one. Simplicity Itself. "There are only two points In suc cess." "What are they?" "Work and keep other people from working you." Do It Now. Decision never becomes easier by postponement, while habit grows stronger every day. Common sense as well as conscience says, "Choose this day." ' The teot of Fate are tender, for she sets her steps not on the ground, but on the heads of men. Homer. "The world wipes its xeet on me," said the doormat "And every hand is against me," said the push button. Kansas City Star. "I am continually being sat on," com plained the soft cushion. "And I get beaten hard for the light eat thing," the egg groaned. Boston Har Own Coin. There was quite a scene the Other tight at a certain bridge party. A loser paid a lady with her Own 1. O. U.'s. The lady said It was most ungentle manly. She said she wouldn't have minded being paid back In her own coin, but she disliked paper uioney. Excbange. The Harder Part. . ' "It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks," quoted the wise guy. "Yes, it's hard to And the new tricks," added Ae simple mug. Phila delphia Record. Well Bred. Gentleman That looks a well bred dog. Owner 1 should think he was well bred. Why, he won't have a bit of dinner till he's got his collar on! Puncb. There are about 26,800 worms to an ere of cultivable land. The First National Bank OF REYNOLD8VILLE. Capital and Surplus $ 1 75,000.00 Resources . . $500,000.00 Joan H. Zaucbbb, Prea. John H. Kaucher Henry 0. Delhle OFFIOEKtj J. 0. Kino, Viue-Prea. K. O. Bchookebs, Cashier DIRECTORS , 1. 0. King Dunlel Nolan J. B. Hammond John H.Oorbett K. H. Wilson Every Accommodation Consistent with Careful Banking 8hort 8torlea. She Short stories seem quite the thing Just now. He I should say so. Nearly every fellow I meet stops and tells me how short he Is. Boston Tran script The Chatterbox. "Miss Chatter Is a sort of talking machine, Isn't she?" "No, not a perfect machine. She lacks the 'exhaust' "Baltimore Amer ican. A good man does good merely by living. Bulwer. ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. Estate of Samuel T. Reynolds, lateoftbe Borough of ReynoldsvlUe Pa., Deceased. Notice la hereby riven that letters of ad ministration upon the estate of Bald deced ent have been granted to the undersigned. All persons indebted to said estate are re quested to make payment, aud those having claims or demands against the same will make them known without delay to V. G. Reynolds, Box 266, Johnstown, Penn'a. Olimbnt W. Fltkh, Attorney, Of Course You Do ! X If you would eat rich food and feel at your het, take NATURE'S H ERB8. If you want the best your food to digest, take NATURE'S HERBS. At the drug stores Is the place you can get It; Use NATURE'S HERBS and you will never regret It. If grim monBter death Is on your life's trail, take NATURE'S HERBS: Ii you want good health over death to prevail, take NAIURE'B HERBS. NATURE'S HERBS has met the monster death face to face, As Ills victim he pursued on his onward pace: And never once yet has he given up a case, But delivered death's victim Into good health's embrace. Use NAT URE'S IIEKBB and take no oilier. For it will be to you a friend and a brother. And If (he enemy of health should dare to draw nigh; With a smile on your face vou can bid It pass by. Some folks use salts In their buck wheat batter, that their cakes may well digest s But take a NAIURE'B HEhB tablet right after supper, you will Und it much the best. ; For pale at the Drug Stores, Keynoldsville, Pa., A. Carl son's store, PreBcottville, Jos. Bateson's store, Kathmel, Pa. For Most People It Is Easier to Earn i Money than to Save It. But your earning ability will not continue indefinitely, and it is therefore important to save while you can. Make it a rule to de deposit in this strong bank regular install ments of your wages. This will provide you with an income when earning money is not so easy and for emergencies like sickness and bereavement. THE CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK Do your banking with a bank that will pay you a liberal rate of interest compounded twice a year and allow you to withdraw same on demand no notice required. You may deposit any amount and at any time. We will do this. And no worry. ar The Peoples National Bank CD f KOldest Bank in the County.) KEYNOLDSVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA". Capital and Profits $130,000.00. Resources $550,000.00. NeW Also the Spring Jackets Spring NEW PERCALES Portfolio Of I NEW GINGHAMS StvleS NEW WAISTS NEW DRESS GOODS from the NEW SHOES AND American Ladies Tailoring OXFORDS Company , For Men, Women and Children. at BING-STOKE CO: . I GentS 1 Made to your individ- . r ual measurement. j New Spring Qm m to Suits I select from; 24 styles I of suits, 18; styles of J skirts, 12. 'dress de- Gents'iNew Neckwear ' CZlsigns, 12-Dcoatl and CD Gents' New Hats ' cape designs. ; CI Gents New Hosiery 8 Bing-Stokc Co. 1 .A