I
Henting a Furnished Flat In the
English Metropolis.
THE TRICKS OF THE AGENT.
At First Everything It Pleasant, but
After the Place I Taken the Woei
of the Tenant Begin With the Ad
vent of the Inventory Man.
To the uiiiiiltlnted AuiM'Icnu the rent
i)f a IiiriilslK-il flat In lxndcin soema a
t-ery slmplo uud remarkably lueipcu
Blve matter. Every one In extremely
polite, and your path la made easy.
Hut no sooner have you cloned the
door of your new quarters llinn you
are heset liy the tmgy of "extras."
While you nre taking a eontented
glance at the new domicile, (-angrum-lat
Iiilc yourself ou the bargain and
thinking how much more a similar
place would cost you In New York,
your musings are Interrupted liy the
arrival of the man with Ihe Inventory.
Ills business Is to make an Inventory
of every blessed thing your flat eon
tains, from a four post bed to a kitch
en spoon.
At first you are vastly amused over
the listing of such apparently Insigulll
cant Items as "a llncrusta Walton
frieze," the number of tiles In the lire
place, the bolts on the windows. Ihe
locks on the doors, a description of the
bundles on the dressing chest and the
number of screws therein, but when
you have been dragged through every
room, going over these to us-absurd
details, you plunge from rage to de
spair and tlnally collapse when your
tormentor at Inst departs. For this
entertainment you have paid from half
a guinea (about JltlOi upward, accord
ing to the rent of your (lat.
But the real power of the Inventory
Is only felt when you lake your de
parture. Vou may be morally certain
that the only damage you have done
bas been to break one or two teacups,
for which vou are quite prepared to
pay an extortlonatp so without t
murmur. Vou may be sure of this, hut
presently ron will receive a hill all
neatly written out and covering sev
ernl pages of foolscap and entitled
"Dilapidations."
Vou will find that Id every room the
walls have been "chipped." the enamel
on the bathtub "slightly marred," a
monogram ou a napkin ring "scratch
ed.", several saucepans "damaged." a
knife handle "bent," a number ot
plates "cracked." and so on. I am
quoting from a list of "dilapidations"
presented to friends of mine who had
occupied a t)at for two months, during
which time, after strenuous cleaning
efforts, they left the premises In much
better condition' than when they went
in. The bill amounted to 1 18s. fid.,
roughly about $9.08.
Here there Is no such fact recog
nized as ordinary wear and tear on
furniture.
For the lease, which Is here called
"agreement." you have to pay from 10
shillings up to 3 guineas and more, ac
cording to vent. Then the government
stamp affixed thereto, without which
the document Is not legal, costs you
from half a crown (62 cental to a guinea
or more, again according to rent. ,
Ton may have taken your flat by
"the month." but when your agree
ment is sent you find out It Is for every
four weeks! Tou will probably phone
the agent calling his attention to the
error, and be will Inform you It Is cor
rect tbat way.
In renting an unfurnished flat, the
shortest term for which Is three years,
yon discover tbat the electric light fix
tures are not Included In the rental
Protest unavailing, you buy them
yourself and pay for their Installation.
Tou must rent also your own gas cook
ing stove. Tou fancy the fenders for
tbe fireplaces must bave been over
looked, but not so; you must buy them
yourself: As you bave been so accus
tomed to a continuous supply of hot
water. It never occurred to you to in
quire Into the subject. Vou find you
can obtain it only by keeping a con
tinuous fire In your kitchen range.
As tbe penetrating, clammy gray
horror of an English winter draws on
you begin to appreciate what it means
to be minus steam beat. Tour only de
fense are the coal Ores, romantic In
Story, but totally Inadequate to defy
this marrow reaching, damp cold of
London. Bathroom and balls remain at
arctic temperature, for the grate fires
do not radiate beyond a few feet, so
you may sit close and burn or retire
to a corner and freeze.
After bavlng learned through pain
ful experience the futility of struggle
against English ways and methods It
la amusing to watch the explosive
American, who in hotel ofiice, at rail
way station and on steamships holds
forth as to tbe various things be will
not submit to. He la usually listened
to with a certain exasperating defer
ence at which the British underling Is
a past master. But nothing is changed,
and be baa to submit, and the sooner
tbe lesson is learned tbe more comfort
able be will be.
Tbe tmpeotrable stolidity of the av
erage Briton Is not to be disturbed,
and the longer one remains In this
country the more definitely one learns
tbat tbe English people bave a pretty
substantial idea of commercialism and
that you are paying for tbe lesson.
London Cor. New York American. .
One Wish Unfulfilled.
' Wife Tou promised that if I would
marry yon my every wish should be
gratified. Husband Well, isn't it?
,WIfe No; I wish I hadn't married
you. Illustrated Bits.
Great results usually arise from
reat dangers. Herodotus.
"IN THE HOUR OF DEATH."
A Note on the Authorship of a Woll
Known Paem.
The question Is often aked In news
papers and nuiguxiuo, "Who wrote
the poem beginning 'In the hour of
death, after this die's whim?'"
The answer Is given that nothing Is
knowu of the author. It Is true-tills
poem was published with only the Ini
tials of the writer In the University
Magazine In 1N7U. Itut I hold the
manuscript of the poem, and I have
also Ulackmore'n letter that accompa
nied It. Illackmore has been so long
dead I do not feel that there ciiu be
any harm In giving his letter to the
public. 1 subjoin an exact copy of It;
also of his poem.
Ad.NKM K. COOK.
"Teddn.. Jan. 5, IS"!).
"My Dear Sir Having lately been
flt the funeral of a most dear relation.
1 was then- again (In a dreumi last
night and heard mourners sing the
Hues Inclosed, which Impressed me so
that I was utile to write them without
change of a word, this morning, I
never heard or rend them before to
my knowledge. They do not look so
well on paper as they sounded. But
If you like to print them here they are,
only please do not print my tin me be
yond Initials or send me money for
them. With nil good wishes to Mrs.
Cook and yourself, very truly yours,
"It. D. ULACKMOllE.
"K. Cook Usqre IX. D."
Domlnui lllumlnatlo mea.
1.
In the hour ot 'tenth, after this lire's
whim,
When the heart bente low, and the eyes
btow dim.
And pain has exhausted every ttmb,
The lover or the Lord shall trust In htm.
11.
When the will haa forgotten the lifelong
aim.
And the mind can only disgrace Ita fame.
And a man ta uncertain ot hla own name,
The power of the Lord shall till this
frame.
111.
When the last algh la heaved and the last
tear shed.
And the coffin la waiting beside the bed,
And the widow and child forsake the
dead,
The angel ot the Lord ahall lift this head.
IV.
For even the purest delight may pall;
The power must tall, and the pride must
fall.
And the love of the dearest friends grow
email.
But the glory of the Lord Is all In all.
R. O. B. In Memorlam M. F, O.
London Athenaeum.
DISCIPLINE.
The Way Binks Tried It on His Six-months-old
Baby.
Binks bad sent Mrs. Binks on a visit
to ber mother, and he was on the job
with the six-months-old baby.
In the night the baby woke and
cried. Binks looked at his watch-three-quarters
of an hour till bottle
time, lie said to himself:
"Let him yell. He's a healthy little
Indian, and he must be disciplined."
Then Binks tried to sleep.
But Binks couldn't sleep. Every cry
grew more pathetic and abused and
heartsick and discouraged. Kacb cry
said more and more plainly: "I have
no friends or relntlves. I'm unhappy
and uncomfortable and want some one
to be good to me."
Rut Kinks, tbe stubborn and stiff
necked, stuck It out, though eacb cry
stabbed blm clear through.
Finally (maybe be set it forward a
bit who knows?) Binks' watch an
nounced the arrival of bottle time. He
went to the Icebox for the food, heated
It and took it to bis now faintly sob
bing Infant son.
But tbe lnfunt son could not take tbe
bottle. He choked on tbe first swal
low, then put up bis bands and re
newed bis wordless plea to the big
man be could see dimly through bis
tears.
Then that father said, "Discipline be
banged!" Maybe, though. It wasn't
"banged" he said, but tbe vowel sound
is right, anyway. He took up that
baby, and the baby stuck to bis daddy
like fly paper. Further attempts to lay
him down were futile. He wanted no
food but heart food, no milk but thai
of human kindness. So the big man
laid that baby beside blm on the pil
low; tbe baby put one rose petal hand
to his father's stubby check, gave a
long, quivering, satisfied slgb and slept
for six unbroken hours.
As Binks lay there, afraid to stir lest
he disturb tbe little one and feeling
like a borse thief because . he bad let
tbe love hungry infant cry his heart
out, he repeated frequently:
"Discipline be hanged!" Chicago
News,
She Was Willing.
He Do you know that as long as 1
have known you I have never seen you
dressed in white? She Indeed! Are
you, then, so partial to the color? He
Not exactly tbat, but whenever 1 see
girl dressed in white 1 am always
tempted to kiss ber. She Will you
excuse me for a quarter of an hour?
Didn't Believe In It.
The Squire That's a splendid horse,
Giles. I suppose, you feed it daily
with punctuality.
Giles Naw, sur. None o' yer noo
fangled foods vur me. Just 'ay and
jats oats and 'ay. London Telegraph.
Business. fr'
Miss Coy (at the garden party) Let
you kiss me? Certainly not I've only
known you an hour.- Mr. Hustler
(looking at bis watch) Well, then, sup
pose 1 come around in an hour and a
quarter? Boston Transcript
He tbat is lit to himself will be good
to nobody. Scotch Proverb.
QUEER ANIMALS.
The llaipy Fsyle, the Aye ays and ths
Tasmania Devil.
The world has been so thorotigblv
I'viluii-d 1 1 in t one mliflit Imagine II
Impossible that any nolewori liy spc
cles of n hi in inn I or bird could still re.
imiIii unknown. Yet every now ami
ilicii something new Iui'iih up. I'or ex
ample. It was not ho von long ago that
n llrsl acquaintance was made with
ihe harpy eagle, a fowl native lo the
let Ion of the Ainuzoii. which feeds
i h icily on monkeys. Another curiosity
not long known Is Ihe iiye-nye of Sim!
tipiscar, a iiiiimmiil which has one t'u
ger of each hand most curiously skel
etonized and elongalefTTor the purpow
of dragging from l heir burrows the
earl liworms on which It feeds. As Is
well known, It is from Australia M nd
New Zealand thai come the flightless
birds, some of which readily breed In
captivity.
'J'he fur seal . rebels In captivity.
The seals which one sees captive and
which di such Intelligent tricks are
hair seals, belonging lo quite a differ
ent species. Ho opposed Is the fur seal
to the very notion of deprivation of
liberty that It will Invariably starve
Itself to death rather than submit to
such a condition. likewise It Is with
the Tasuianlan devil, a ipieer little
innrsupinl about two feet long, some
what resembling In appearance n baby
bear, which is found only In Tasmania,
a large Island formerly known as Van
lilemen's Land, to the south of Aus
tralia. It Is almost Incredibly fero
cious, preying upon the sheep and poul
try of the farmers, and never yet,
though captured In earliest Infancy,
has II responded lo kindness by mani
festing an amiable disposition. Phila
delphia Ledger.
TALL AFRICAN GRASS.
Beautiful Soenee at Night on the Veldt
When Fire Spreads.
Unlike a good deal of South Africa.
Rhodesia Is largely wooded. It) some
places the forests are of value, but a
large proportion Is not valued for Its
timber. The grass In this part of
Africa grows to a phenomenal height
In the valleys, and especially In the
valleys of the Sabl and Zambezi rivers
It reaches Its greatest height. To sny
that the grass Is often twelve feet high
Is no exaggeration. Naturally It Is
vpry easy to lose one's way In this
grass If one Is unfortunate enough to
stray from the beaten track. It Is the
custom there to buru this grass off
each year when It gets dry. This Is
usually In August nnd September or
even In October. Fires burn for miles,
and fls tbe country Is largely a wilder
ness little damage Is done by this
method of destroying the grass. It Is
a beautiful sight at night In the fire
season to see the hills for miles around
encircled with flames.
After tbe grass has been burned the
rainy season usually begins, and It Is
then that the country Is at Its prettiest.
The grass Is then green, and tbe foil
age on the trees Is beautiful. The old
leaves drop off gradually, and the new
ones take their place before tbe trees
are bare. The new leaves are of all
shades of the rainbow, and It Is much
like the fall scenery In this country
when tbe dead leaves are falling from
tbe trees. Waterfalls are numerous in
the mountains, and there are many of
great height, although tbe rivers are
usually small in volume. Springfield
Republican. .
The Winze.
Tbe superintendent of a western
mine in driving a tunnel struck a
body of ore. Tbe vein was vertical
and bad a sharp dip. To develop It
and get ready to mine tbe ore it 'was
necessary to put down a winze tbat Is
to say, to sink a shaft, in this instance
an Incline.
Elated over the discovery, be tele
graphed tbe board In tbe east that be
bad struck rich shipping ore and re
ceived the laconic reply to begin ship
ping at once.
He wired that be could not ship any
ore until be bad a winze on tbe vein.
"How much will a winze cost?" was
the telegraphic query.
"One thousand dollars," he replied
promptly.
The next query floored him. . It
read, "Can't you buy a secondhand
winze cheaper?" New York Post.
A Joke of Mark Twain's.
Probably few people are aware that
the theatrical godfather of tbat famous
actor Mr. William Gillette was Mark
Twain, who was a fellow townsman
and a friend of his father. Mark
Twain In referring to the matter said
tbat when be used his influence to get
young Gillette on tbe stage he thought
be was playing a great joke on the
management, for he did not think Gil
lette bad the slightest aptitude for act
ing. But It turned out to be no joke
after all. "1 don't know." said Mark
Twain, "which I like better having
Gillette make a tremendous success or
seeing one of my jokes go wrong."
Careful Sandy.
Meenlster Aud why didn't ye come
to tbe kirk last Sawbatb? Sandy-I
had nowt but a shlllln' In my claes.
That's ower muckle siller to pit in th'
contribution box all at aln time. Lon
don Tlt-BIts.
Mistaken.
"He says be's your friend for life;
says you lent blm $50."
"So I did. But he's not my friend
for life. I propose to ask him for It
next pay day." Louisville Conrler
lournal. His Role.
"That man made an immense for
tune out of a simple little invention."
"Indeed! What did he invent?"
"Invent? Nothing, you dub! He wae
the Dromoterr' Cleveland Lender.
FISH THAr WALK.
Climbing Psrch Travel Over Land
From Wator. to Water.
It may seem absurd to speak of fishes
as walking. The Hying Dsn Is well
known, but lis (light looks much like
swimming In the air. We naturally
think of Dalies its living always In
water, as being Incapable. In fact, of
living any where else. Hut nature main
tnlus no bard and fast Hues of distinc
tion between animal life which belongs
to the land and that which belongs to
the water. If we can believe the ac
counts of tint ii in lists, there are Ashes
that traverse dry Intnl.
It Is reported Hint Dr. l-'ninc-ls Day
of India has collected data of several
Instances of the migration of tlshes by
land from one piece of water to an
other. A pnrty of Kugllsh olllcers were upon
one occasion encamped In a certain
part of India when their ntlenllon
was attracted by a rustling sound In
tbe grass and leaves. Investigation
showed It to be caused by myriads of
little lishes that were making for one
direction nnil were passing slowly on,
There were hundreds of them moving
by using their side and small fins as
feel, now upright, now falling down,
squirming, bending, rolling over, re
gaining their lluny feet nnd again
pressing on.
These fishes were the famous climb
ing perch, and they were passing over
the country to avoid a drought. When
the stream In which they have been
spending the season dries tip they
scale the banks and, directed by some
mnrvelous Instinct, crawl to another.
Pearson's Weekly.
A HOPEFUL POET.
Failure to Recognize His Genius Didn't
Dampen His Ardor.
Paddy Qiilnn, a type of bohetnlau
found only between the covers of n
cheap novel, was sentenced by Justice
Samuel C. Hyde, congressional repre
sentative for Washington during ter
ritorial days, to serve ten days ou the
rock pile after confessing that he had
worked only seventy-five minutes dur
ing his stay of two months In Spo
knne. Asked by the court to explain
how he earned a living, the prisoner
said:
"I am a poet, but there Is no use
explaining to you that which would
be unintelligible to your mind. I will
recite some of my poetry Instead. 1
will read a few stnuzns from my mas
terpiece." Before Qulun could give voice to the
second line of his latest work the
court had imposed sentence and tbe
sweet singer was on the way to the
city jail, where his tattered garmeuts.
oxford shoes and flesh colored hose
were exchanged for overalls. Jumper
nnd hobnailed brogans. His long
black balr and flowing beard were also
trimmed for hygenlc purposes, and,
armed with a six pound hammer, be
started for tbe rock pile, mumbling as
be left the station:
"Tbe muse got an awful jolt that
time at tbe bands of an unsympathetic
judge; but, then, there's hope. Ilecog
nltion will come some time. It must
come. Officer, please see that Pegasus
Is properly cared for until 1 return!"
The Lunatic's Idea of It.
"I was going through one of, the
wards the other day," said the super
intendent of a lunatic asylum, "when
one of tbe patients Incurably Insane.
I believe walked up to me to an
nounce that be wanted to be dis
charged. "'Whyr I asked.
" 'Because I've been here three
years, and that's long enough.' be re
plied. 'And I want to be discharged
today, too,' be added.
"I looked at him steadily for several
seconds and then said:
" 'My dear fellow, do you realize
tbat I have been here seventeen years
and bave not been discharged yet?'
"Tbe question appeared to puzzle
tbe man for an Instant. Then be snap
ped ut me:
" 'Well, you ought to have been dis
charged long ago.' "New York Globe.
Corset Ancient Armor.
A French historian of women's dress
states that the corset was worn by tbe
ancient Egyptians. This assertion Is
borne out by tbe figures carved on tbe
tombs of women, who are Invariably
represented as wearing a garment
strongly resembling tbe modern cor
set. There does not appear to be any
representation extant of Cleopatra TI.,
tbe beloved of Antony, but In one of
the temples there Is a figure of ber
predecessor, Cleopatra II., in which
tbe sculptor has endowed her with a
corset cut on the lines of those worn
today. Wbalebone was probably un
known to the Egyptians, but a nation
capable of constructing pyramids with
out steam cranes would probably find
no difficulty in making stays without
busks. London Chronicle.
- His Favorite 8ong.
There is a young optician in Denver
Who sings very well, says tbe Post of
tbat city. Tbe other night be was
making a call on a couple of sisters up
on Corona street when be was asked
to sing.
"What shall it be?' he asked as he
went to tbe piano.
"Your favorite song," said one of the
girls.
"All right" he replied, and then
the optician sat down and sang "The
Night Hath a Thousand Eyes."
Impertinet.
Mrs. Hank If you won't do no work
yer won't g'.t nd dinner, and that's all
there is t6 It.
"Tell you what I am willing to do. 1
will give yon a lesson hi correct Eng
lish. laltagoT'-Llfe.
Are your clothes
insured?
If,when youbuy a smart, dash
ing, stylish suit, you could know
that it would keep on looking
just that fine and shapely so long
as it lasted, you would think a
whole lot more of that suit,
wouldn't you?
ma , a a
Mat jjustwhyyoushouldbuy
Clothcraft
All-Wool Clothes
for you get an insurance policy in the shape of
a Signed Guarantee with each suit and at no
added cost. This Guarantee protect! you against
disappointment.
Clolhciaft Clothes cost no more than common
clothes $10 to $25.
They are the ONLY line sold at these prices
with this all-wool, shape-holding Guarantee.
Now do be sensible. Wear Clothcraft .
Clothes.
Bing-Stoke Co.
edm
i
RfcYNOLDSVILLE
JOB WORK
PITTSBURG
Now Open and De
lighting Thousands
from Pennsylvania,
Ohio & W. Virginia
Dm'I MIm th GrMtMt latWrUI
Show ! Sor Ytn
Instantaneous hit of the
Thrilling Naval Spectacle,
showing the historic battle
between the Ironclads
MONITOR
AND
1Y1ERRIMAC
The show that was the talk
ol the Alaska-Yukon
Exposition
In the Hippodrome
The Greatest
Ruuian Symphony Orchestra. Sept I to II
Pryor and his Band, . SepLOtolS
DamroschsadhisOrchstra.Scpt20to25
i y
Who Gets
The Difference ?
Ilf your bank pays you only two per
cent on your deposits you are losing one
hundred per cent on your income.
If your bank pays you only three per
cent, you are losing thirty-three and one
third per cent
Because this bank pays four per cent
interest compounded every six months on '
all savings and time accounts of any size.
Yon can Bank by Mail with I Ask for Free Booklet J.E.
us a easily at in person it explains everything
Capital and Surplus, $10,000,000.00
"In Capital and Surplus, there Is Strength,'' ,
T"t(oLoIIAL"lRV5TMPAlY,
(SAVINGS BANK)
317 Fourth Ave. 314 to 318 Diamond St
PITTSBURGH, PA.
ss ill n r 1
EVERY WOMAN!
Who manages a home Is interested In the
best cooking appliance that can be made.
PRIZER'S
STOVES
re the result ot the best experience and
materials.
They contain advantages not found In others.
II you want a good baker and a perfect
Toaster without taking any chance buy
Frlier's. - .
We claim for them what we can prove
Ouaranteed-your money back If not satisfied.
HARDWARE CO.
ii
ff
ipranstiwssfifjglBsy
of all kinds promptly done at
THE STAR OFFICE
E
X
P
o
s
Archaeolog
ical Exhibit
with ita wonderful relics,
taken from Blennerhaaset
Island, attracting widespread
interest.
Irrigation
Another new and interesting
exhibit
Wonder Compelling Electri
cal and Mechanical Displays
MOVING PICTURES
FERRIS WHEEL
MERRY-GO-ROUND
TRIP ON STEAMER
SUNSHINE
Fun for Everybody
-
o
N
Circle Casters
Souse and his Band, . Sept 27 as Oct 2
Theodora Thocaas Orchcrfra. Oct4ta t
Ualitd States Marina Band. . Oct Its 23