Why Ht Wt Daaf. ceue Stable of Scot I lab villus Inn. ' Landlord Is busy repiilrlng a piece t burnuss ami Ik currying on at the same time a conversation wltb the village bhukmiillh. Killer runner. Farmer Look hero, landlord! Can ye gie um a bollle o' yer best wblskyl Landlord Wool, ye see. the horses are a' out, an' I dlnnn ken when ony ' theiu ll be hanie. Farmer It's no a horse 1 want; It's a bottle o' whisky. Landlord Aye; bill, ye see. they're a guld hit awa", an" It'll be lute before the Clrst o' them's back. Farmer (louder) 1 tell ye. It's no' a boi'se, but a bottle o' whisky. I want. Landlord Weel. ye see, the beasts 'II be tired, an' Farmer Gang awa' wl' ye an' yer ben 8tg ! Exit. Blacksmith Man, John, ye're gettln" as deaf as a doorpost. It wasna' a horse, but a bottle o' whisky, the man was askin' for. Landlord Ou. aye. 1 beard blm fine, but he dldtin' pay for the last bottle he got. Pearson's Weekly. The Order of the Bath. ' The lust Knights of the Bath made according to the ancient forms were at the coronation of Charles II., when various rites and ceremonies, one of which was bathing, were enforced. According to Frolssart. the court barber prepared a bath, and the can didate for membership In the order, having been undressed by bis esquires, was thereupon placed In the bath, bis clothes and collars being the perqui sites of tbe barber.' He was then re moved from the water to the words "May this ,be an honorable bath to you" and was placed In" a plain bed quite wet and naked to dry. As soon os he was quite dry he was removed from the bed. dressed In new and ricb apparel and conducted by bis sponsors to the chapel, where be offered a taper to tbe honor of God and a penny piece to tbe honor of tbe king. Then be went to the monarch and, kneeling before him. received from the royal sword a tap on the shoulder, the ling exclaiming. "Arise. Sir ." and then embraced him, saying. "Be thou a good knight, and true." London Strand Magazine. England's Patron Saint. The story of England's patron saint Is surrounded by a mixture of truth and fable Which defies definite sifting. Be is generally believed to have Jieen born at Lydia, but brought up la Cap-, padocla, and suffered martyrdom in the reign of Diocletian. A. D. 303. The legend of his conflict with the dragon may have arisen from a symbolical or allegorical representation of blR con test with the pagan persecutors. When our crusaders went to the east la 1U0U tbey found St. George elevated to tbe rank of warrior saint, with tbe title of the "victorious," and as tbey be lieved that they were indebted to blm for aid In the siege of Antioch tbey adopted him as the patron of soldiers. Edward III. was thus led to make blm patron of the Order of tbe Garter, and eo gradually St. George became the tu telary saint of England. London Muil. Eva and tha Apple. Princess Duleep Singh at a dinner in New York said that she found the American woman a marvel of beauty and toe American man a model of good looks and kindness. "Tbe American man," said the charm ing princess, "Is rightly held up to the world as the pattern husband. In Eu rope tbey have a saying about Eve and tbe apple which shows bow wretched failure tbe European hus band is. Tills saying is unknown In America, I am sure. It would have no polat, no application, here In the land of pattern husbands. The say ing is this: " 'The evil one didn't give the apple to tbe man, but to tbe wom an,' because the evil one knew well that tbe nan would eat it all him self, bat the woman would go halves.' " Aisle of the Car In a Railroad Wrack. A veteran railroad man gave a piece of valuable advice not long ago. "If you ever get into a wreck." he said, "and have time to follow out this suggestion remember this: Always stand In tbe aisle. Most of tbe in juries that are suffered occur because tbe victim is ' crushed between the seats. If you are in tbe aisle you may be thrown forward and bruised a lit tle, but there is much less chance of receiving serious hurts. It isn't always possible to get out of your seat before the crash comes, but if it is follow that advice." Louisville Courier-Journal. A Use For Arithmetic "My boy." said tbe bead of tbe Arm. "I've noticed that you have a great head for figures, although you don't eeem to be able to spell or write at all. Bow does It happen ?" "I studied rlthmetlc.!' replied the of fice boy, "'cause I wanted to know how to figure de battin' averages." Chicago Record-Herald. A Myth Chaser, "What makes your youngest son so eager for athletics?" . "Filial admiration." answered the worried looking mother. "He believes all 'the stories his father tells uImh'I the wonderful things be did wbeu he was a boy and is trying to equal tbe record." Washington Star. Pereeveranoe. Perseverance is more prevailing than violence, and many things which can not be overcome when tbey are' to igetber yield themselves up when taken little by little. Plutarch. Late repentance is seldom true, bat itrne repentance Is never too late. Venning. American Brn Dance Tbe American barn dauoe, t " of the luadlnff novelties of the L mil hi ball rooms, ban bjen lctroduot-: m m,i country. Several society women ! tied the community with "8. 't (I ' Barn Dance,'' to which tbey rl " 'he figures of the Vlriilula reel ai 'I 'b., hoe down. Since tbwi. the ban. I Hiiri orches tras bavo taken up (he Cruz- The method In which the- dance in In terpreted Is that of lx emiol.M who swing tbelr partners to a o-n'ml point, then waltz back to an angle formed by the firBt retreating couple, who, in turn exchange partners. The following strains Indicate the musical theme to which this Is done: 'i The dance proper occupies Increased Interest. It Is wrought to a climax In which the couples slog as tbey dance. For this purpose a set of words called "Down at the Huskln' Bee" are In voked. The following bars from Mr Henry's barn dance are utilized: V-J K I H To this melody tbe text runs as fol lows: Come along and let's make merry down at the husklti' bte, Applejack and good blackberry, w 11 have a jubilee," etc. ONLY ONE MORE WEEK OF THE EXPOSITION Big Show at Pittsburg Will Close on October 23 Next week will be the last of the Exposition and on Saturday, October 23, the twenty-first annual season of the Institution will come to a close and pass into history as an event that has contributed to the enjoyment and pleasure of thousands of amusement seekers from Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia. The exhibits this season are varied, covering a particularly wide and di versified field. Those who went to the Exposition in search of knowledge did not go away disappointed. Every thing pertaining to the latest creation in mechanics and electricity were to be seen and among the latter was the marvelous wireless telegraph, the practical demonstrations of which are given dally. The Monitor and Merrl mac, one of the most pretentious naval spectacles before the public, has been particularly attractive, as it is a reproduction of an historical event which practically revolutionized the navies of the world. People In edu cational circles as well as the public at large have found the famous archaeological display of Professor Henry Stahl a subject of absorbing interest and the relics taken from Blennerhasset Island together with other features will not soon be for gotten. These with the Norfolk and Western Railroad agricultural exhibit and the irrigation display will be seen here next week for the last time. The brilliantly successful musical season will close with the United States Marine Band, which has been re-engaged. This notable organiza tion, which is making such a pro nounced hit this week, will appear In entirely new programs and Director William H. Santelmann promises novelties that cannot fail to please. "The President's Own Band" com pletely captivated the music lovers this week and there is no doubt but what the final concerts wlll.be given in the presence of overflowing houses. The grand and Inspiring performances of this notable organization will af ford a fitting climax to the Exposi tion's musical season which Included the foremost bands and orchestras' of the world. The last days of the Exposition have always been a big event of the season, as thousands come to pay a farewell visit, and next week will be no ex ception to the rule. People living in the outlying districts will as usual take advantage of the railroad half fare excursions and the twenty-first annual s ason of Pennsylvania's only permanent industrial show promises to end in a blaze of glory. Expense No Object. During mi Inclement spell of weather a lady of the order of the newlv rl-h was so unfortunate as to contract a painful affection of the throat, and she accordingly accepted the advice of a friend that she consult a great Lon don specialist noted for his expensive fees. "Your ailment is not a serious one." said the specialist after examination. "You'll soon be all right. I'll Just in dicate to your family surgeon pre cisely where to touch your throat with nitrate of silver, and I think that will meet tbe case exactly." "Oh,, doctor," protested the wealthy matron in a tone of mingled surprise and indication, "do order him to use nitrate of gold! Expense Is a matter. I assure you. quite Immaterial to mer London Answers. In that worthiest of all struggles the struggle for self mastery and good ness we are far less patient with cur se! vw tbta God is with us. J. O. Hoi He Got It Wrong. A lady while going downstairs to d''"'er hud the misfortune to step alUhtly on the dress of a lady in front of her. The man on whose arm the former was leaning said aloud, rudely, so that the couple in front might bear: "Always getting In the way. like Ba laam's ass." Upon which the lady whose gown bad been trodden on, turning round, replied with a sweet smile: "Pardon me! It was the angel who stood in the way and the ass which spoke."-Tlt-Bits. Touching. Jrack That young Slmperly seems such a fragile fellow I should hesitate to touch him for fear he would break. Sam He wouldn't hesitate about touching you If he was broke. London Telegraph. Why Women Are Like Tugboats. Biggs Why are the tugs on tbe Wis consin river like the co-eds who walk up and down State street? Muggs And the answer is? Biggs Some toe out aud some toe in. Wisconsin Sphinx. A Subordinate Position. "What Is a speuker of a house?" "Your mother is." "And what are you ?" "I suppose I might be called the leader of the minority." New York Tress. 'I'd Rather Die, Doctor, Than have my feel out oil," said M, L. Bingham, of Prlnoevllle, III., "but you'll die from gangrene (which had eaten away eight toes) If you don't," said all doctors. Instead he used Buckten's Arnica Salve till wholly cured. Its cures of eczema, fever sores, bolls, burns and piles astound the world. 25o at H. L. McBntlre's. , Letter Met. List of unclaimed letters remaining In post office at Reynoldsvlllo, Pa., for week ending Oct. 9, 1909. Pletro Flumefreddo, Bluggla Mao lerandl. Say advertised and give date of list when calling for above. K C. Burns, P. M. subscribe for The -X- Star Union Missionary Woik.', Following is a report of the union missionary work done by tbe American Sunday School Union In mining villages and rural settlements In Jefferson and Clearfield counties during five-years ending October, 12, 1909. T. G. God wlu was missionary from October 12, 1904, to March 1, 1907, and Joseph E. Klrkwood has been missionary from March 1, 1907, up to present time. Sunday sobool missions opened and re-opened 30; teachers and scholars in them 1,834; Sunday schoois otherwise aided 119; teachers and scholars in them 14.625; Y. P. Sooietei formed 2; prayer meetings formed 11; bibles and testaments distributed 2,458; vUits made to homes 2,734; value of liter ature distributed about $500.00; schools purchasing organs 7; schools purchas ing libraries 14; evangelistic and 8. S. addresses given 693; persons pro fessiug conversions 278; miles traveled 20,404: churches organized as result 3; churches built 2, thousands of traats and papers. Stoke & Felcht Drug Co. guarantees Ml-o-na to relieve stomach distress In 5 minutes and to permanently cure ln Jlgtston. Stops belching gas and heaviness Instantly. Large box, 50o. Want Column. Ran: One cent per word for each ano evorTloeertlon. . Wanted Hay and straw. & Mundorff. Robinson For Rent Six room house on Brown St., West Reynoldsvllle, and other houses and rooms to rent 'at reasonable rates. W. L, Johnston. Fob Rent Eight room house, First avenue, West Reynoldsvilje. Inquire of M. E. Weed, 'Keystone Hardware store. For Sale Fifty-one acres of land' In the Horm Settlement. Inquire of Amos Shumaker. Wanted Success Magazine wants an energetlo and responsible man or woman In Reynoldsvllle to collect for renewals and solicit new subscriptions during full or spare time. Experience unnecessary Anyone can start among friends and ac quaintances and build up a paying and permanent business without capital. Complete outfit and Instructions free. Address "Von," Success Magazine, Room 103, Success Magazine Building, New York City, N. Y. Sea food restaurant. Is delicious. City Hotel ShicR Wagner -The Bio Stork- Lace Curtain Sale to Begin Thursday Morning. ATTEACTIVE OCTOBER BA.HaA.HSTS HOUSE CLEANING QTIME iB now on and you may want somejnew Curtains Or Window Shades. We have anticipated your wants and have cleaned up a manufacturer's stock at 25 per cent off, or One-Fourth off regular price. In order to turn this stock over to you quickly we offer you the Bame attractive bargains. To make it a greater inducement to you we will give you, beginning THURSDAY MORNING and con tinuing for the balance of this week Double Trading Stamps on all purchases. Remember, you get $2.00 worth of trading stampsjfor every $1.00 you buy, in addition to 25 J per cent or One-Fourth OFF, on brand new curtains just shipped from the manufacturer. To make the sale which begins Thursday morning more interesting, we put on salejjour entire stock, which we had on hand, at 33 1-3 per cent, or One-Third Off regular price. . UNDERWEAR To give thisjsale a little more life and Jmagnitudvtwe include some Ladies'Jand Children's UNION SUITS fleeced lined, regular price 50c and 75c, to go at 25c. SILK PETTICOATS We add also a line of Ladies' Silk Petticoats, black and colors, regular price'$5.00 to go at -$3.50. DOUBLE TRADING STAMPS this week on all purchases. $2.00 in stamps for $1.00 you buy. LACE CURTAINS. $1.00 Lace Curtains, just new . 75c $1.25 Lace Curtains, Just new . 94c $1.50 Lace Curtains, just new . . $1.12 $2.00 Lace Curtains, just new . $1.50 $3.00 Lace Curtajns, just new . . $2.25 Stock on hand, including all left overs from Spring and Summer at 33 1-3 or One-Third Off. 50c Lace Curtains f or . . 33c 75c Lace Curtain for 50c $1.00 Lace Curtain for . . . 66c $1. 25 Lace Curtain for 83c $1.50 Lace Curtain for . $1.00 $2.00 Lace Curtain for . $1.33 $2.50 Lace Curtain for . . $1.67 $3.00 Lace Curtain for 2.00 $3.50 Lace Curtain for 2.33 $4.00 Lace Curtain for 2.67 $5.00 Lace Curtain for 3.33 $6.50 Lace Curtain for 4.33 UNDERWEAR 50c and 75c Union Suits for 25c All good staple numbers for Fall (fleeced lined) for ladieB and children. See them on display. SILK PETTICOATS. Black and colored. $5.00 Silk Petticoats for . $3.50 DOUBLE TRADING STAMPS - - On all ofjthe above, as well asjall other purchapeF. Now is yur timtfto fill your Stamp Books. $1.00 goeB as far as $2.00 ordinarily and with the advantages offered in THIS SALE $1.00 will go as far as $3.00 ordinarily. Come early before best numbers are all gone. , ' ', SHIOK & WAGNER Corner Main and Fifth Street. Reynoldsvllle,. Pennsylvania.