IN A FRIENDLY SORT OF WAY.
When a mnn nln't got a cent, and he', feeling kind o' bine,
An the cloud, hang dark an' hriivy, an' won t lot the aiuiHhine throuuh,
Jf. thing, uh, my brethren, fur n feller just to lny
Ilia hand upon your shoulder in a friendly suit o' wuyl
It makes a mnn feel curious; it ninkea tlin tennimna alnrt,
An you sort o feel a flutter in the ipgiini of vour heart.
Jou can t junk up and meet his eves; you iloii't know what to ay,
Wlien hit hand m on your shmildui in u friendly sort o' way.
Oh, the world', a curious compound, with its hmicv nml its gall,
With its rates and hitter crones, lint a good world alter all.
An a good Cod must have made it leant wava that ia what I say,
hen a hand is on my shoulder in a friendly sol t o' way.
lumen' Whilcomb Riley.
I
orooooooooooooocnooooooocoscxocoooocooooooooooooooooo
' mv mjK. a &jy ri
li By C. A.
.. .
OOQOOOOOOOOOSOOOCOOOOOCCOOOOOOOOOOCOOCQCO.-SCOOOOOOO
o
When tidings reached ns thnt In
4he great conflagration of Inst August
Fertile and other new towns of the
Crow's Nest Taas region In British
Columbia had been destroyed, my
first thought was of nn old school
mate, named Murray Bartlett, who
Went West from Mnlnn twn vpnrn nrrr.
to embark In the lumber business in j
that viclnltv.
According to tin rpnnrta flrat tntn-
... .., , .. ..... .
If 41 1.. 1
ni'ui iiiniuirua, il nui luuiiaii.tn,
f the people about Ferule bad per-j
tehed; and for some time we feared
tt XT n .....1 1.1- ........... ..!r. I
... jiiuunj mm ma luuiiu
wnom we lial also known well, were I
morn; the victims nf flip flrp I
I rejoiced, therefore, when twelve
iye later a letter came, written by
" ' '
aye later a letter came, written by
Murray nimscir.
"We are ptill alive," so his letter
pens, "but It was touch and go with
Os one day. I had seen forest fires
before, but we never bad anything
like this in Maine. I could give you
. no Idea of It If I tried the heat, I
mean, and the great waves of flame
that rolled through the sky!
"Just one little thing saved our
lives and the lives of eight others
who took refuge in our house Just
ne little Iron rod.
"That will sound so queer to you
that I shall have to explain It.
"Our house Is on the Elk River,
bout five miles out of Pernio. I
built it myself. It was just a Bhaeli
. -
f squared logs, thirty-two by twenty,
with a shingle roof good enough in
a new country for Elsie and myself.
I had trouble about getting a well
there on account of ledges. For over
year I used to bring all the water
,we used in buckets from the rivor
The Elk Ulver comes down a great I
- -- -
Talley between the mountains west
t the Crow's Nest Pass and empties
Into the Kootenay, which Is a large
tributary of the Columbia.
"But I grew tired of fetching water
bo far, so last May I put up a wind
mill at the riverbank, one of thoBe
mall iron 'turbines' such as sell for
fifteen dollars. A slender steel tri
pod, or tower, thirty feet high, came
with It. The only woodwork about
K was the long pump-rod, and that
was broken coming up on the cars
from Spokane. So I replaced it with
a little iron rod which I pieced to
gether at the sawmills where I work.
I mention this because I suppose we
11 owe our lives to that half-Inch
rod. If the wooden pump-rod had
not happened to get smashed on the
ears, well, you would not be reading
this letter, that's all!
"The windmill worked all right. I
got, two hundred feet of pipe, and
then nailed together a wooden tank
In the kitchen, where Elsie found it
great convenience to have plenty of
water handy.
"All through the Inst week of July
It was very smoky. This whole Elk
River valley was heavily wooded;
nd since lumbering began, there
weremiles and .miles, of dead, dry
treetops and brush. Not a drop of
rain' had fallen for, weeks. You can
Imagine how dry all this Waste stuff
became. It was like so much tinder.
Even the forests over the mountains
were very dry.
"On Saturday, August 1, I went to
the mill, as usual, at seven o'clock,
t noticed that the wind was blowing
pretty hard. But in the mill we were
11 busy with saws and planers. Not
much attention was paid to things
outside till toward noon, when two
Welsh miners ran in and shouted
that . a big fire was raging on the
ther side of the river.' While they
were talking, five Chinese came run
ning down the river road, their pig
tails streaming out behind them, they
were so scared. They yelled to us in
tne mm as they ran by and made ex
euea gestures up-stream.
"My house was up in that direc
tion and without saying anything
more to any one, I threw the belt off
my machine, grabbed coat and hat
and jan for home. The smoke was
driving down so thick that my eyes
marted; the air, too, felt very hot.
"When I came in sight of my
Bouse. I saw Elsie out throwing
water on the roof.
"'0 Murray!' she cried, when she
aw me. 'Help me wet the house
own. They say there's a big fire
earning this way! I'm afraid we'll
lose'our house!'
" 'Not If we can both help It.' said
I: and catching' another bucket, I
began throwing water.
'.'The wind appeared to be rising;
the gusts roared Ithrough the woods.
That IHtle windmill of ours was Just
whirling for all it was worth, and a
mart stream of water was coming
into the tank. I should say I threw
fifty bucketfuU on the roof and on
the walls. 1 meant to soak the whole
utside of the house If I could. The
Ir was so hot and dry that the hou
teamed like a boiling pot.
"Just then three or four lumber-
o
o
o
I')
o
o
o
r
n m m m u ti u bi
STEPHENS.
O
5
men came down the road, riding their
team horscB.
" 'The fire's crossed the river up
here In the woods!' one of them
shouted to me. 'It's a hot one!
You'd belter be on the move!'
" 'What do you think, Elsie?'
said 1.
"Let's Rave our house!' she ex
rlnlmed. Hut neither of us realized
.. ...... ,n 1.11111111, l oiiu,
1 1.1 i
wnnc was coniln;;; If we lind, we
nnttiuu iinvH run witii me ouiers. i
"We wont on soaking the house and
wetting the ground round it for ten
ne.. . .
ur iiueen in I nil ten more, tlin kihiiI.-p
getting thicker all the time. We
hrrn'.I ...... i ,
" i.u.n.,1. 111 Ultl JUiUl
find pretty goon saw her coming, trv-!
ing to run. crrvln dm,. 7, i.A, .
ing to run, carrying one child , lu'-r ,
ai ms and pulling another along by
,,,, ,.,,.. V '
tne Hand. When she saw us throw-
.,. , . , ,
2V.t-l.'bn Tn:t nJ?l J?.
,., ,,, , , """
gai tan llllnnrn ix-lvpa ami nra .n,tl,1
not understand much that she said,
save that a great fire was coming. I
did not know what to do about hav
ing her stop there; for In case our
house burned, It was wasting time
for her to tarry there with those
children.
"While Elsie was talking to her
another woman, a strangor to us,
came running, and with her was a
boy ten or twelve years old. They
also turned in; and close behind
them a bndlv frlelitnnpil nlil riiinn
,ii6iiiiriieu ulu V.II1I1U-
man made his appearance from over
the river. He, too, ran to the door
and pushed Inside, jabbering ex-
clteillv t v,im irii'.
and set him to passing water from the
tank to me.
'Thus far there had been no fire
n sight, merely n storm nf think
- -e"-, ...ccij a Biunu ui llUCK
smoke and ashes driving past. Thefl
all at once flainea nnnpnrai! ovofv.
where in the woods, on both sides of
the river and all about us! Such a
fierce wave of heat made itself felt
that we all ran inside and shut the
door. It was bo hot that I knew the
house would soon dry and burn un
less I kept it wet.
."I set a box on top of a table,
grabbed an ax nnd cut a hole through
the roof large enough to put my head
and shoulders out. ElSfe and the
Chinaman passed up buckets of water
to me and I sluiced the roof. If the
shack had been a large house I could
not have done much, of course, but
being bo small, I kept the roof wet
and a Bheet of water running off the
eaves to the ground.
"Within three minutes' It grew so
hot that I could not keep my head
out at the hole. Waves of clear flame
swept overhead. Hot, blazing cin
ders came in at the hole; I had to
soak a blanket and stuff it in to keep
the fire out. .
"We heard pitiful cries at the door
and Elsie opened It a crack. There
lay two more Chinese, who had
crawled there through the smoke and
fire; their clothes were burning, their
very hair was singed! We pulled
them in at the door and threw water
on them.
"The roar of the fire and the wind
outside was now awful like a great
furnace roaring up Its chimney. But
soon above it all we heard a fright
ful squealing. Four horses, with
which some teamsters had been draw
ing a load of lumber up the river,
came galloping along the road, with
broken harness flying. The luckless
beasts either saw or smelled the
water on our house. Instinctively
they rushed to the door and crowded
their bodies against the dripping
house. Elsie looked out at the door.
" 'O the poor creatures! " she cried.
'Shall I let them crowd in?'
"'We can't.' I ald., 'Thero'a no
J room!' But one t,2 them thrust Mo
head in as she spoke,
,,. , M . , i
I rushed to push the door to, but
the horse pushed harder than T mnin
hold. He forced his way in among
us, his mane all afire, his whole coat
smoking! We had to get out of the
way and make room for him. But I
managed to shut the door. Two of
the other horses perished Just out
side; the fourth ran a little way
down the road and fell and died
there.
"There was hardly space to stir
IyibMa 1(1.1 - . . .
""" iiiuo irouc room. Tne
horse squealed and groaned from his
e8j-.tj.eve.8veke-eve"3kek9ei.e'
Counterfeit
But the worst enemies of religion are not those who turn
away in disgust from its perversions. "Not they are profane
who reject the gods of the vulgar, but they who accept
them," says Lucretius. . Yet it may be partly a question of
words. If men stop their ears to shut out harsh and jarring
Bounds, it will not do to conclude that they hate music.
They may love It all too well to lUten. And, if I hold up
some theological daub, and tell them that it is a portrait of
Deity, will it be strange if some take me at my word, and
cry out, "Then we are atheists?" Yet when did men ever
deny or doubt the reality of the universe, merely because
science gave absurd or Inadequate explanations? Charles
a G. Ames.
bums; the stenoh of bis burnt hair
was dreadful.
"Then came another of those aw.
ful waves of fire. The heat of It
nearly suffocated us. I knew the
bouse must soon, catch and tyirn and
soaking a table-cloth for my head, I
got up to the hole In the roof and
began throwing out water again as
fast as Elsie and the old Chinaman
could pass It to me. With every
third or fourth bucketful I soaked
that tablecloth and kept It over my
head and shoulders. When the gusts
of flame came I had to draw down
till they passed.
"The gale had been blowing from
the west, but now the gusts seemed
to come from every quarter; they
were like whirlwinds, sucking this
way and that. Most of all, the wind
mill worried us. If that stopped
whirling the water would stop com
ing into the tank. Then nothing
could save us. The water was our
only hope. When these counter gusts
began to come the windmill would
stop and whiffle round and Elsie
would cry out, 'It's stopped! Oh, It's
gone!' Then up at the hole I would
strain my eyes to see if the wind
mill had blown down.
"Often I could not see It for smoke.
I expected It would blow down, for It
seemed as if nothing could stand those
gusts. nut every time, when the
smoke cleared a bit, I saw the faith
ful thing whirling again. ' How It
stood it I don't know; but it did,
twirling first this way, then that. If
It had been of wood it must have
burned with that first wave of fire.
"I ketit (llniilnir tnv hnniln In thn
..... . .... ,
" "l "r. " m "'DUt
M.MWered and smarting, although
water and splashing my face; but I
J" t Z L !T, " ,,UB3
' the te,ent I hardly not ced
"'-at. The logs at the north end of
n i. , . . ., . ..
the shack took fire three t mes, but
-tcblng n,y chance, when the gusts
slackened, I rushed out and dashed
water on them. White steam rolled
up In clouds off the whole house.
"At length the counter gusts were
so conflicting that the windmill
stopped pumping for Borne minutes.
The clouds of smoke and fine ashes,
too, were now bo thick that we could
not see down to the river. Elsie is
a plucky girl, ns 'brave as need be,
but for a moment or two uhe was in
despair.
" 'It's all over with us, Murray,
she whispered, for she knew as well
as I that the house must burn if the
windmill stopped.
"But Just then I caught sight of It
again, twirling round In the smoke,
the tall bobbing this' way and that.
It looked lopsided, it was getting such
rough usage and I could see thnt It
wabbled as It started to turn again.
But turn it did; and a moment later
Elsie came running from the kitchen
and shouted up to me that water was
coming once more. But I can tell
you that those were anxious moments
for us!
"It went on much like that for
nearly two hours; and then I began
to notice that the Are and smoke were
thinning out for the very good rea
son that everything combustible had
burned up, evergreen trees and old
stumps clear down into the' ground,
with nothing left but ashes. So great
had been the heat that when once .it
was gone it was all gone, with no
coals nor brands left to smoke or
Bmolder.
"Miles away we could see that the
conflagration wbs still raging, but
round us it was over. Terribly deso
late, too, the whole region looked,
with all the green forest gone. The
outside of our shack was actually
charred black.
"What with thnt humeri hnrsn mil
all, we were in such bad shape inside
our shack that I got them all out of
doors as soon as the ground was cool
enough to step on. Two of the Chi
nese had their clothes nearly burned
off them, nnrl WPrA In n nnrl rnnrll-
tion, whimpering from their burns.
tne children, too, were crying and
the women lamenting that thev had
no ho roe left and nowhere to go.
"We soon learned that Fernle had
wholly burned, as also the lumber
mills and nearly everything else
along the river. Luckily we had
flour and other groceries in the
kitchen. Elsie began cooking; and
we fed and did what, wn cnnlrl fnr
our queer refugees for two days, till
tne relict trains began to come in
from the outside world.
"But that afternoon, as soon as we
were able to Btir out of the house.
Elsie and I went down to the river
bank to look at that windmill. The
paint was all blistered off the vanes
and the tripod. It 'limped' and
squeaked as it turned, for the oil had
burned out of the cogs. It was a
wreck, yet It still turned and kept
" j ii. oiiu milieu i
water going up to the shack.
'Elsie shed tears over it
" 'Oh, you poor dear, brave thing!
sne criea. "i Know you re notblnz
rP
i
Europeans have discovered that
American sirup barrels, once used,
are better than new ones. They are
used especially for the pickling of
meat, and If of hard wood, even In
the United States, bring better prices
than new onpg
vs. Genuine.
The Confessions of a Fakir.
ByJamesAndfewa, ,
m
NTAVKil even guessed that i was a seer until the spur of poverty
drove tne into prophecy. Then I happened to light upon the ad
vertisement of a wholesale dealer In prophesying machines at an
' address in Brooklyn of nl 1 places! and he sold me an outfit for
a low price. Advice he gave free.
"Look wise," he said. "Hand 'em a line of hot talk full o' big
words. They'll fall easy."
The machine has been seen by millions of Amerlcuns and trusted Implicitly
by hundreds of thousands. It is to be found at nearly every seaside and moun
tain resort In the counfy. Whnt met the eye of the victim was a swarthy, hol
low, bodyless hend of papier-mache, mounted on a tall tube that sprang from
a pedestal. The head was wrapped In a turban, nnd the dreamy eyes peered
afar Into the future over a scrubby plantation of black Oriental beard. That
head was my familiar, and 1 was Abdul Aziz Khan. Had 1, too, been of swarthy
nd Oriental appearance, that fact might have been some pallatlnn of the folly
of the gables who (locked around the cheat. But, far from suggesting the mys
terious l5aHt. I am .hlond. hlue-eved. thin, nervous American, Impossible to be
mistaken for a citizen of any land east of Cape Cod. The stupidity of the dupes
was gross and unpardonable.
.Madame and I collected the nickels nnd distributed the blank sheets of
paper among the dupes, asking each jolterhead whether he or she prererreu an
answer in English, French, German, Spanish, or Italian, and giving one (. sheet
bearing the prophecy already written In the language chosen. My loyal partner
never iinrmltttMl hpruelf Hip liixurv nf a smile Ht the gross credulity all around
tifl. Each dupe wrote hlslnltlals with
paper handed to him, and when thirty or forty or fifty sheets had been coneciea
I put them In a solid block In the metal box, nnd mumbled a Jumble of poly
syllables at the crowd, while the invisible words were Btewlng into visibility.
This done, I tapped the box with the wnnd most majestically, opened It to the
accompaniment of an Incantation, and distributed the sheets, each to Its right
ful victim. Shall I ever forget those scones, always alike, the quick gasps of
surprise, the gleam of of staring eyes, the hastening off to a remote corner,
there to read In obscurity the oracular hodgepodge I had cooked for them?
Sometimes I could have sworn that I heard the papier-mache head laughing.
Toor old Abl He did the work and got none of the nickels. Harper's Weekly.
0 &
TtaFirstgf Living Irishmen.
By Sydney BrooitB.
iT Is twenty years since Sir
ill
life. He entered it with all the advantages of a fresh eye and
mind and a keen, untrammelled outlook acquired by years of
ranching and roughing It on the Western American plains. In po
litical opinion he leaned to the Unionist Bide, but he quickly saw
that the Irish nroblem was only Incidentally one of politics or
of "race" or of religion, and that at bottom It was a human prob
lem, a problem of the Irish mind and character. He at'mlttod altogether no
Nationalist could do so more completely the results of history, of lopg cen
turies or English persecution and wlsgovernment, and of the failure of either
people to understand the other. But he held that "great as Is the responsibility
of England for the state of Ireland, still greater Is the responsibility of Irish
men"; that the Irish through their absorption In a peculiarly rhetorical form of
politics, their habit of living In the past, their overoonfldence In legislation as
a cure for economic Ills, and the defects of their character and temperament
their "laeTt of moral courage, Initiative, Independence and self-reliance" had
aggravated the effects of English misrule; and that their duty now was to
overcome these defects, to cultivate a salutary Individualism, nnd to turn their
thoughts to the ways and menns of practical Improvement. To do this what
was needed was a positive Irish policy, springing from the people and depend
ent for Its success upon their own powers of application and energy. The form
such a policy should take was prescribed by that characteristic of the Irish peo
ple which Sir Horace was the first both to appreciate and to utilize their clan
nlshness, their faculty for acting In common. They had pre-eminently, he
argued, the associative qualities; then let them associate. The Irish problem
on its economic side was predominantly agricultural; then let them associate In
agriculture. iSuch was the central idea, simple as all great Ideas are, of the
Plunkett policy. Harper's Weekly.
Our Foolish
Ambassadorial Rank
By Henry M. Hyde.
TIE carefully trained diplomats sent abroad by foreign countries
where diplomacy Is a regular profession are letter perfect as to
the gymnastic and sartorial details of their Jobs. Born with the
mildew of caste in their veins, they glory in the triplicated kow
tow and gloat over the backward glide.
Diplomacy, the French say, is the art of tying one's nicktle
X
mas
and, under that definition, foreign diplomats are its masters, am
in handling men, In adjusting really Important affairs ,ln promoting interna
tional amity and understanding, In dealing with those quick crises which are
the true test of diplomacy, the wider training, the broader outlook, and the
more diversified experience of the American ministers made them unequaled.
IMeanwhlle the stupidity or the cowardice of Congress statesmen are wel
come to the choice which was responsible for the creation of the ambassa
dorial rank without providing funds for its support, will stand In the way of
applying either possible remedy to the Impossible situation. And so the Amer
ican people must continue to sponge on the private fortunes of ambitious mil
lionaires who are anxious to buy for themselves and their families some tem
porary glitter and -glory abroad, until the National Legislature either makes
suitable provision for ambassadorial support or quickened and Inspired by the
living memory of Abraham Lincoln returns to the old Ideals of republican
simplicity. Success Magazine.
0
0
NatureV Stamp of
Approval Is Sugar
By Dr. Woods Hutchinson.
HY do we always couple "sweetness and light" -with sweetness In
w
mm
the lead as our highest conception of spiritual development?
Why Is it that In all literatures and legends "sweet" is invariably
associated with "sound," wholesome the scent of flowers, the
song of birds ,the golden sunlight with everything that is pure
and fresh and sound? Why is a sweetheart the most delightful
form of cardiac motor that
nnvwhere? Whv don't we say "sour as
breath of klne, "bitter" as the nightingale's song, "nutritious" as the new-mown I
hay? Because deop down, Instinctively, In the heart of us, we feel, no matter j
what the preachers or philosophers or the nealtn Journals may say tnat, to
paraphrase Browning's defense of beauty,
' If you get sweetness and naught else beside,
You get about the best thing God Invents.
Sweetness Is to the taste what beauty Is to the eye nature's stamp of ap
proval and certificate of wholesomeness. It Is one of the most universal flavors
of foodstuffs known. Over one-half of our rea'i foods taste sweet or sweetish
that is, they contain sugar In some form. Success.
s& m
brigandage.
By Oillon Wallace. v .
tJE Rurales, or mounted
brigandage. Several years ago, during the presidency of Comon
fort, the government recognized the wisdom of the old adage, "Set
a thief to catch a thief," and offered pardon and protection to all
brigands who would come in and enlist as Rurales. Alost of them
took advantage of the offer, and with these men on the side of
Baa
law and order, holdups soon became infrequent, and the Rurales
developed into a wonderfully efficient mounted force to hunt down bandits.
They are fearless riders, they know every mountain pass and fastness, and
when they once start after a man he Is pretty sure to be caught or killed gen
erally killed. ,
The Rurales of Mexico compare favorably in bravery and reckless daring
with that wonderful organization, the Northwest Mounted Police of Canada, and
are by far the best armed force in Mexico. Their calling gives them opportun
ity for wild adventure, and thus satisfies the craving for a life of danger, wbtch
led many of them to be brigands in the first Instance. They are a free and easy
lot, quite In contrast to the peaceably-inclined policemen of the towns, and the
low-moving, indolent soldiery of the regular army. From "Beyond the Mexi
can Sierras," In The Outing Magazine.
Taking the average for the world,
there Is one newspaper lor 82,000 ia-uablunts.
lead pencil on a iproper blank sheet of
Horace Plunkett entered Irish public
0
can be 'begged, borrowed, or stolen
a May morning," "alkaline" as the
m
police, have pretty nearly put a stop to
A purchase dn a Geronan tuoacco
shop entitle you to one telephone
caU.
To Carry Freight by
. Air-ship. t
Germany will soon be leading the
world In air-ship construction If the
enthusiasm over the sport, or indus
try ns some consider It, continues to
be as wide-spread as it Is to-day.
The Zeppelin alr-shlp made several
notable performances before its mis
bap; the Wright Brothers are urged
to give some exhibitions with their
aeroplane at Berlin; a company was
recently organized to promote an ln-ter-ctty
aerial passenger service la
Zeppelin machines; and now a dirigi
ble balloon for the carrying of freight
Is proposed.
Professor Svhtiette, of the Technl
cal High School at Danzig, Prussia, I
the Inventor of the new cargo balloon
oon to be constructed at that place.
The gas bag will be 310 feet long,
with a diameter of about fifty feet,
and the skeloton frame Is to have
double diagonal wooden ribs Instead
of the customary aluminum ones. A
car 120 long by twelve and a half
feet wide will be carried, and the
power for driving the propeller will
be generated by two gas motors of
150 horse power each. By the sub
stitution of wood for aluminum, th.
ability of the machine to carry weight
Is much Increased, and, In addition to
the equipment and crew, 4000 to
4500 pounds of freight may be .taken.
It Is estimated that an average speed
of fifty miles per hour attained by
the new dirigible. Harper's Weekly.
liONCJ DISTANCE MARKETING.
Rural Telephones a Business Piece,
slty to Kvery Knrnier. ,
Practically every business man in
the city has a telephone. No one who
deals with his commercial colleagues
would think of doing without the
phone It pays to have one. That's
iiiiu m I'm city uui uu yon realize
Just how much more valuable the tel
ephone is to the farmer? Those with
whom he deals are often miles away.
To him It Is an absolute necessity,
and to do without would be worse
than uncomfortable.
For Instance, take the stock raiser
who wants to sell some animals.
What a Job It Is to drive them along
the road, to find his man, and, If the
bargain Is not made, to drive them all
back again. If he has a telephone,
arrangements are made for a meet
ing, or even a dicker can be made
over the long distance wire.
What a relief It is to the farmer to
be able to find out how prices are In
town to watch for a good market
and sell at best advantage to himself.
Yes, a relief, but not only that, a sav
ing of money real, jingling coin la
his pocket.
A glance at the sales reported this
season gives an idea of the growing
popularity of this great medium of
comfort and convenience. The West
ern Electric Company, the largest
manufacturers of telephones and tele
phone apparatus in the world, sup
plying the entire BeU system with ap
pliances, reports having sold no less
than 50,000 rural telephones in the
past sixty days.
ma ot Like the Tone.
A Door foreign mnnlrlnn was I a it.
--a " O
gedly wrestling with his trombone
outside a village Inn. He knew that
The Last Chord was somewhere in
that Instrument, but the latter
seemed loath to part with It. At
length the landlord appeared at the
door. The poor musician bowed, and.
doffing bis cap, said, "Musig hath '
Jarms," and smiled.
"Well, not always." he said: "hnt
try that tune utslde that red brick
bouse and 1 11 give you sixpence."
Three minutes later the trombon
ist was back again, mud bespattered
and forlorn.
"You vos right," he said, slowly
ana sadly; "musig hath Jarms not al
ways no. A mad vellow out ov dat
house came and me mlt a brlgg he
knocked down yes. He not like
that tune ntf, no," and he rubbed
the back of his head.
"I thought he wouldn't," said the
landlord; "he's Jusi done a month's
hard labor for -baling a clothesline
from a back g-.Jtn." Dundee Ad
vertiser. Needless V.'.- ir of Roads.
A county surv. ' r protests against
the habit which :,. my motorists have
of doing the m-..'.,.:ty of their driving
on the crown or centre of the road.
This method of driving means that
one portion of the road takes all the
wear, and naturally of course gets
worn Into ruts and ridges.
If the traffic would spread Itself
and make all that portion of the road
from gutter to the top of the crown
take a share of the wear, road sur
faces would laat much longer and
would require less frequent repair.
In these days when roads are made
almost flat there is no excuse for this .
habit of clinging to the crown, but
where roads are made with a great
deal of camber it Is perhaps excusa
ble, as driving on a continuous slope
is the reverse of pleasant. Gentle
woman. .
How Elephants Sleep.
In captivity elephants stand up
when they sleep, but In the jungle, lu
their own land, they lie down. .
The reason given for the difference,
between the elephant in captivity and
in freedom is that the animal never
acquires complete confidence in hi
keeper and always longs tor liberty.
The Watchword.
The newest department store tn
New York will have a bank of fift
levators.