WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
F. Frederick Foulkei was born in town.
And Sarah Smith was born In Boston.
Bis mother was u Bui railiie-Brown;
Har family the Mayilower crossed on.
Wise Nature from Instinctive stores
Secrets of sex to mot hers teaches;
Sarah was put In pinafores,
While Frederick was put In breeches.
Her eyes were blue, her hair was flaxen;
Her cheeks were like a pink verbena.
She was the typo or early Saxon,
Fair Iiotamund or mild Rowena.
Her nature was a gentle one,
As mild as codtlnh-lulls, or honey;
When lather mado a foolish pun.
She used to laugh and call It funny.
Her fond mamma preferred a school
Possessing up-to-dute attractions;
When klndiTRiirteiis are the rule,
Saruh was Just beginning fractions.
Bo Sarah chose tho True and Good,
And satlslled her fond relations
But Freddy turned from rectitude
To questionable divagations.
His fond mamma was hard to suit;
And thinking Freddy seemed unhealthy,
Bhe sent her darling to a tut
or patronized by all the wealthy.
But Fre.l soon pave his mother cause
To drink of bitter sorrow's cup;
He disbelieved In Santa Clans,
And would not hung his stocking up.
The simple tales of Snnilav school
In earliest youths ha would not credit;
Jacob he thought a hopeless fool.
And often publicly be said It.
Solomon's private life, he swore,
Unfitted him to near the ermine;
And Noah he ptrnnuly censured for
1'erpetuallng all the vermin.
Bnrly a skeptic In his tone,
He soon became a flagrant Arlan;
And then too horrible to own!
' An out-and-out humanitarian.
Of Satnn not at nil afraid.
Ho really doubted he existed;
And Sundnvs, when he might have
prayed,
Ho goli'ed, or country-houso-brldge-whlstcd.
His wealth, when he was twelve years
old.
With Croesus' would stand comparing;
Sarah was Just as good as gold
But Frederick was as good as Boring,
Contrasts of this engaging kind
The happiest man laws beget;
And so a pathos you will find
In learning that they never met
For she was wedded to a suh-
Instruetor In the Arboretum:
While P'red was wedded to his club,
And. as for girls, would never meet
em.
Tet elreumstnnces will afford
Their own amends, and all have known
some;
H,Jl!,8li?ni' nls ,lfe w bored
While Frederick was merely lonesome.
Harper's Magazine.
The Judge's Friend.
. Shameful to relate, he was In jail. A
strange place for a 12-year-old boy
with a soul and heart.
The Jailer had telephoned me one
cold wintry night that the boy was
in a spasm of crying and had bo larmed
him that he urged me to come at
once. I grabbed my coat and hat and
went out into the night, feeling that
the pitiless beat of the sleety rain was
ever kinder than a criminal law that
condemns little children to crime and
Iron cells. But this was before tho
fight against ithe jail was fought and
won. This was before love and firm
ness had supplanted hatred and deg
radation. Behind iron bars that would shame
the king tiger of the jungle, I found
the boy. He was sleeping, and you
would have thought not a care had ever
visited' that Utile tousled head with its
worn and tear-stained face. But he
wakened, startled by the grating of iron
bolts and bars, and clinking of great
keys turning in their solemn, monot-
onous locks as the jailer, leaving me
alone with the boy, returned from the
cell back into the dimly lighted corri
dor. The boy, frightened at these strange
surroundings, looked at his new cell
mate at first cautiously almost fear
fully. Then a look of joy came to his
eyes, as might come from a captive
at the approach of deliverance. The
boy knew me, for he had been a
chronic little truant, and there may
have been worse things, but they may
be left unsaid, for it was the boy, and
not the "things" we were trying to re
deem. I 6at down In the cell on the iron
floor and put my arm around the boy.
I told him how much I thought of him,
and how I despised the bad things he
did. Yet what could I Jo if he did not
help me? I might help him, but I
could not carry him; I would always be
his friend, but he was getting both
himself and his friend, in (rouble, if
he "swiped thing's," for if I should
let him out and he "swiped things"
again, would not the officer say that
the judge made a mistake in not send
ing "that kid to the state Industrial
school, where he would not have a
jhance to swipe things?", Then they
would say both the judge and the boy
should be in, jail. How could he ex
pect to keep his job If his boys did
such things? He saw the point and
standing Upright there in the cell,' the
light in his eyes speaking better than
bis words, the earnestness of 'his prom
ise to "stijr"wid yer, Judge," as', he'
tearfully declared he would never get
into trouble and we would both' keep
out of jall.v ' '- !
And so I almost as tearfully accepted
bis proffered protection, and out of the
Jail we walked together into the now
raging storm. And yet, It was no such
storm as had raged in that-boy's life
-a home blighted by a father who had
deserted and trodden under foot every
vow he took at the marriage altar. And
so a father's care, the divine birthright
of every child,. had been denied him.
The boy was not bad. His opportunity
had been1 poor; his environment was
bad. I took him home to his mother,
l poor, struggling woman deserving of
, t better tale than to tail all day to
A TRUE STORY. '
feed and clothe her hungry children. A
child with no father and a mother,
however noble, who under such handi
caps and difficulties tries to perform
the functions of both, generally falls to
perforin that of either. Is it a wonder
tlieu that the child is not "brought up
in the way.it should go?" Is it the
child's fault? If not, why then tho
Jail and degradation?
The boy returned to school. He
brought good reports for over two
years, and with tuoni he brought Joy
and gladness. Wo had, in a poor way,
tried to supply what was lacking In his
little life, but to do this well a spark
had to be struck somewhere, or a
heart-string had to be sounded that
would respond.
One day his mother came at the end
of a weary, toilsome day to tell me that
Harry was a changed boy. She told me
how thoughtful and loving he was;
that once when she had been sick he
had, with the tenderness of a woman,
waited on her nud given up all the
pleasures of the street. Finally the
tears came into her eyes, and she said:
"Judge, I never knew just why Harry
changed so much till one day while I
was ill and he had been eo sweet and
kind I asked him how It was he be
came g'ood for the Judge, and looking
up Into my face with a tear In his
eyes, he said, 'Well, mother, you see
it's this way, if I ever gits bad, or
swipes things again, the judge the
Judge will lose his Job see? and he
is my friend he is and I am goln' to
stay wld him.' " B. B. Llmlsey, Judge
of the Juvenile Court of Denver, in
Woman's National Dally.
TAMING A RIVER.
The Erratic Susquehanna Has at Last
Been Harnessed.
Although with the exception, of the
bt. Lawrence liver It is the lnrgest
stream flowing Into tho north Atlan
tic, the Susquehanna liver has never
been renowned for anything but
scenery and trouble.
Since the timber has been stripped
from its mountainous drainage basin,
embodying an area of 27,000 square
miles, the floods of the Susquehanna
have been extremely sudden, violent
and destructive. Not infrequently It
attains the remarkable record of a flow
at high water equal to 25 times its
volume at low water.
Large as it is, the erratic Susque
hanna is navigable for only five miles
above its mouth. Beyond that point it
is so full of rocks and shoals and ra
pids that nothing but an occasional
raft at high water has ever passed
down.
Such a particularly outrageous
stream Is the Susqueuhanna, says the
Technical World, that it is difficult
to find room upon it even to navigate
a ferryboat comfortably. One of these
quiet reaches is McCall's ferry, where
a part of Washington's army crossed
on Its way to do up Cornwallls at
Yonttown. The commander himself
crossed at the Conowlugo ford, 14
miles below.
At this historic spot some clever
engineers are demonstrating that the
Susquenhnnna is good for something
after all, for they are building a hydro
electric power plant which Is remark
able. Not the least Interesting feature
is the extraordinary care with which
the situation was studied before plans
were formed. To be sure engineers
are proverbially painstaking, but in
this case a new record for thorough
going accuracy was established. It
was the highest tribute that man
could pay to the terrors of the Sus
quehanna. London Fogs.
A osirtaln undeslred supremacy has
always been granted to London In the
matter of fogs, and the London pea
souper has always been considered
unequaled in its way. But things
have changed a good deal of late. In
the first place, those of late years,
ratably that at the beginning of this
month, have been overhead fogs,
whicli mado the noonday like night,
although In tho streets it was perfect
ly clear, and there was little or no
dislocation of traffic. This is said to
be owing to the fact thnt a few hun
dred feet up the air is cold enough to
condense the moisture, whereas in
the streets the air is warm enough to
keep tho moisture uncondensed. This
variety of fog is certainly the least ob
jectionable, for it enables people to
go about their business without grop
ing along the walls in utter darkness,
as used to be the case. Another
change that must be noted Is the
prevalence of fogs in Paris, notably
in the present month, when In the first
week the fog was much worse on ibe
banks of the Seine than on the banks
of the Thames. Some years ago.
when Paris burned wood, the city had
no real fogs, but now that it has ta'
en to burning coal it has imported tho
"London particular." And as the
Seine at Paris is not tidal, there, is
less chance of a breeze to carry away
the fog than there is even in London.
London Globe.
He Won His Case.
"9o you want a divorce on the
grounds of cruelty?" asked the great
lawyer. "Yes, sir," replied the plain
tiff. "What sort of cruelty was it?"
"Well, sir, for three consecutive nights
my wife took the door mat in." "Took
the door mat in? How can you con
sider that cruelty?" '"Well, you see,
Monday night was lodge night, Tues
day night was a smoker at the club,
and Wednesday the annual blowout
I got home each morning at 4 o'clock,
to find the door locked and the mat
taken in." "But where does the cruel
ty come in?" "Where does the cruelty
come in! Why, didn't I have to sleep
on the bare step, without anything to
rest my weary head ?" Birming
ham Post.
PEARL8 OF THOUGHT.
Honesty needs no press agent. -The
rolling stone is never on the
level.
Happiness is merely not being mis
erable. You can't nlways measure a good
time by the price.
A man can't hold his own unless
be can hold his own tongue.
A man may be all right in his way,
but be wants it to be in his own
way.
It is better for love to laugh at
locksmiths than to cry over spilled
milk. t
No man can become popular unless
he Is willing to be bored once in a
while.
The man Who succeeds is the one
who makes use of other people's mis
takes. Tell a lazy man to hump himself
and he will Immediately get his back
up about It.
It takes a good bluffer to keep the
other fellow from finding out that we
are afraid to fight.
The fellow who blows his own horn
should be careful not to come out at
the little end of it.
A man can keep more things from
his wife than she can find by going
through his pockets.
There are men who don't consider
they are taltlns their own part unless
they grab the whole thing.
The theory thnt love makes the
world go round may account for the
fact that so many gliis are giddy.
From the "Muslims of a Cynic" in
the New York Times.
EARLY HUMANITY.
A Geological Discovery of Great Im-
port at Toronto.
Will? two workmen named Miller
and Haneys were at work on the big
water works tunnel under Toronto bay
they found human footprints in the
blue clay 37 feet down, or 70 feet be
low water level.
This find In the Interglacial clay de
posited unknown ages, said to be 50,
000, to 100,000 years ago. Is the most
Impoi'tamt! geological discovery of that
period made in America. The city In
spector,, W. H. Cross, thus describes
the discovery:
"It looked like a trail. There were
over a hundred footprints. You could
follow one man the whole way. Some
footprints were on top of the others,
partly bllteraMng them. There wero
large footsteps of all sizes and a single
print of a child's foot three and a half
Inches long.
"All tho footsteps toed in. You could
see the hollow between the ball and
the heel in many of them nnd they
were all made with mociisslned feet.
In some places you could see where
the toe had been driven in and the
clay had shot up underneath the heel.
All the footsteps pointed north except
where some turned off to the side.
"This piece of blue day was at grade
In the tunnel. A shot hnd been put in
each sldo and tho men were cleaning
the loose rock from the floor to go on
with the concreting. That is how it
was preserved. When one stratum of
the clay was cleaned oft these foot
prints were underneath.
"About too feet south of the trail
we found remains of footprints at tho
same level, but they were indistinct.
Between the two lots of footprints I
picked up some pieces of stone which
appeared to me to be petrified twigs."
Telegram in New York Sun.
A Change of Mind.
A Wellesley College student rushed
into a telegraph office a few days ago
and asked tho clerk for a message
blank. She Immediately wrote a mes
sage and after she had finished it she
tore It in two nnd began another
blank. This was also torn In two and
then Bhe wrote a third, which sho
handed to the telegraph operator.
After the lady departed the opera
tor became curious and picked up the
torn pieces of paper.
The first read "It Is all off. Never
want to hear from you again." Tho
tecond read "Do not write to mo
again, as I never want to hear from
you." The third message, which was
sent, read "Come at once on the first
train." Boston Herald.
Gen. Grant's Farm.
The days when Ulysses S. Grant
was interested In the development of
Missouri were recalled yesterday at
the local United States land office
when the record entry of the Grant
Farm in Maries country was found in
the musty ledgers of the office. The
record shows that on March 26, 1859,
Gen. Grant entered by means of land
warrants a quarter section of land in
section 5, township 39, north range 8
west. The description by numbers
shows that land to be situated in
Maries county and about ten miles
southeast of Vienna, the present coun
ty seat, and fifteen miles north of
Rolla, the seat of the Missouri School
of Mines. Springfield Republican.
Would Have the Author.
During a performance of Sophocles's
tragedy of "Antigone" at the Theatre
Royal, Dublin, the gallery gods, a very
Important portion of the audience in
that city, were greatly pleased and,
according to their custom, called for
the author.
"Bring out Sopherclaze!" some one
shouted.
After a while the manager appear
ed, and there was a general shout un
til he explained that Sophocles had
been dead two thousand years and
more, and could not well come.
"Then chuck us out his mummy!"
came back in answer from the gal
lery. Youth's Companion.
To Defy Old
-N
r?i
ne
Ey Beatrice Fairfax
KNOW a little old woman of 70 whose heart Is as young as
though she were In the twenties. Her hair is as white as
enow, but In her eyes there burns the fire and vim of youth.
She has worked hard all her life and has saved quite a
sum of money. Her people are anxious that she should stop
working and live comfortably on her savings for the rest of
I
her days; but she says she is too young to give up work yet
? for a wnII-
So she trots cheerfully about the kitchen. She Is a cook,
aud makes the best pies In the country.
She has a keen sense of humor, and her laugh rings out a dozen times
a day as gay and merry as a girl's.
She likes to have young people about her, "For," she says, "Sure, Miss,
we are all young together, and do be having a fine time."
Dear little old woman! Her heart Is as sweet and pure and kindly as
a bnby's, and that is what koeps her so young. Time could not have the heart
to do other than deal gently with her.
You can all keep young, if you keep from getting into a rut and keep
your Interest in people and things alive.
Gray hairs and wrinkles will come, but it Is the spirit that really keeps
you young. If your heart gets dried and old it will show In your face, for
the eyes are the windows of the soul and the truest Index to your character.
If you are an unmarried woman, don't sink into the typical old maid
existence.
Don't be kittenish. Nothing Is more objectionable than the kittenish
woman. But keep young.
Keep abreast with the times. Bo interested In young people and their
doings, and don't withdraw yourself into a shell of reserve.
Uo out aud visit your friends, and if you have ailments, keep them to
yourself.
Don't get into one way of doing things and Imagine that your way Is the
only way; and don't fall to appreciate a Joke, even when it is at your own
expense.
Look for the sunshine of life, for nothing so preserves youth as cheer
fulness. The mere fact that you are over 50 need not make you an old man or
woman. If you take care of yourself and live sensibly, getting plenty of
sleep and fresh air, you will be able to hold Father Time at bay for years.
Train yourself to take a cheerful view of life. Don't worry over trifles,
and don't lose your temper. Frowns are great wrinkle builders.
I know that this is a true recipe for youth, for has not ny little old
friend proved it? New York Evening Journal.
a The Bachelor Tax
Ey Walter
HAT, I wonder, do the lawmakers of Wisconsin, Iowa, Texas
and other states, expect to accomplish by their bachelor
tax? If they think that they will benefit anybody by tell
ing a man Uiat be must either marry or pay a tax, I think
that they are badly mistaken.
In the first place, why are there bachelors? Do they
exist Just for the fun of the thing, because they don't want
a home, because they want to be different from other peo
w
ple pr because they can live cheaper in that state? I think
not.
The main reasons they don't marry are twofold: First, they cannot afford
to keep a, wife, and second, most of the marriageable women are not fit to
become wives.
Why can't they afford to keep a wife? Simply because the various trades
are so overrun with female labor thai the man hasn't a chance to earn a
man's wages. A woman's sphere Is the home, a man's sphere is business.
Why are most of the marriageable women unfit to become wives? I am
sure I don't know. It certainly isn't the man's fault that a woman doesn't
know how to sew, cook, made a bed correctly, and In fact keep a house in
the way a house should be kept.
Every man likes to have a home, a place where he may rest from his la
bors, a wife and children to welcome him. Give a man a decent position
and a woman who knows how to run a home and he will get married every
time.
P
Felling a
Ey Clifton
N the wooded shores
I
particular, reacn a vast girtn, ana in me vauey oy uio
roadside was one with a circumference at the ground of 63
J feet, and nearby was
... - - .4 l. V. I, t 1 (
llliuu&u Ik nuuiuuig tuoj imsoabo iui a. uiau vu uuiacuoi.ii,
But the tallest trees are the firs. Two hundred feet is a
very moderate height, and some shoot up to above three
hundred. The fall of one of the monsters when the woods
men have cut through its base is something appalling. As the tree begins to
give the sawyers hustle down from their perch and seek a safe distance.
Then they look upward along the giant column and listen. "She's workin'
all the time," says one.
"Yes," nifrees the other, "you can hear her talkln';" and he gives a
loud cry of "Timbor!" to warn any fellow laborers who may be in the neigh
borhood. The creaking and snapping Increase, and the tree swings slowly at first,
but soar, with tremendous rapidity, and crashes down through the forest
to the earth. There is a flying of bark and broken branches, and the air is
filled with slow-settling dust. The men climb on the prostrate giant and walk
along the broad pathway of the trunk to see how It lies. What pigmies they
seem amid the mighty trees around! The ancient and lofty forest could
well look down on them and despise their short-lived insignificance; yet their
persistence and Ingenuity are Irresistible, and the woodland is doomed.
The Outing Magazine.
f The Child
Home Training
By Perciual Chubb, of the
i UR old home culture;" and, wrose still, the old home pieties,
Oare disappearing. The church and Sunday school have not
kept pace with modern pedagogy, and are losing thi . hold
on society at large. In the increase of hoodlumism, divorce,
child labor, luxury and extravagance, there- is a relaxation
8 of moral muscle, and In distress we are turning totho3chools
to stem the tide of moral insufficiency. President Eliot said
spend more money for education; but it is a mistake. We
cannot transfer the duties of the home or of the church to
the school. In his social environment, in the time he spends out of school,
the child gets more education or miseducatlou than he gets in it. We have
to come back ti the old idea of having tho parents purge out the moral ma
laria. Leslie's Weekly.
Age,
r- t
rr . T if
neari i oung
s
C Michel
Great Tree
Johnson
of Puget Sound, Washington, the trees
another that had a Gothic arch cut
nnnnnnA nM n mnn sin kn-.Al.nnb
Must Have' ?
Ethical Culture Socle y
MARTYRED PRESIDENT
' C03T NATION $42,817
After careful guarding for more
than seven years the facts as to the
government's expenditures incident
to the last Illness and burial of Pres-
Ildent McKlnley, the treasury officials
have made a statement covering all
oi me items oi expenauure unaer
the appropriation of $45,000 for this
purpose, made by congress on July
1, 1902. The sum spent was $43,
517.88. The items as they appear
on the treasury ledgers follow:
Dr. M. D. Mann, $10,000; Dr. H,
Mynter, $5,000; Dr. C. McBurney,
$5,000; Dr. Roswell Park, $5,000; Dr.
C. O. Stockton, $1,600; Dr. B. Q.
Janeway, $1,500; Dr. H. G. Matzlnger,
$750; Drs. W. W. Johnston, E. W.
Lee and H. R, Gaylord, $500 each;
Dr. N. W. Wilson, $250; Dr. G. McR.
Hall and Dr. E. C. Mann, $200 each.
Undertakers Druggard and Koch,
$2,204.15; McCrea and Arnold, $283.
Nurses and miscellaneous M. B.
Mohan and J. Connolly, $500 each;
G. MacKenzie, $400; Evelyn Hunt,
$200; M. C. Morris, M. E. Shannon,
M. D. Barnes, K. R. Simmons, M. B.
Dorchester, A. Barron, A. M. Waters,
B. F. Simpson, F. Ellis and B. J.
Blxby, $100 each; 3. Parmenter and
H. A Knoll, $500 each; Edison Man
ufacturing Company, $250; E. L..
Pausch for death work, $1,200; B.
Garret, post-mortem cost, $45; West
ern Union Telegraph company,
$1,593.61; Postal Telegraph-Cable
company, $440.27; New York Electrlo
Vehicle Transfer company, $192;
Chesapeake and Potomac Telephone,
$187.60; Woods Motor Vehicle com
pany, $128.50; Price & Niehaus, $120;
J. Powell, $308; H. O. Hicks, $100;
the William Hengerer company, $30;
Whlte-Evans-Penfleld company, $35.7?.
Old Animosities Gone.
Jefferson Davis, name Is to be put
back on the tablet of the Cabin John
bridge, near Washington, that span
to carry the Washington aqueduct
across a deep chasm having been
completed while he was serving as
secretary of war. The name was
chiseled off in 1802. There is no
good reason why it should not be
restored, the animosities which it
was once capable of Inspiring having
passed Into history. New York Tri
bune. Professor Perclval Lowell declares
the end of the world will come when
some dark star crashes Into the sun,
and he adds that such an occurrence
is sure to come. However, the ca
tastrophe seems to be a little too far.
in the future to worry about, anyhow.
New York Herald.
In a scene of a balloon race, repro
duced in a New York moving picture
show, R. J. Mailer saw his younger
brother, whom for three years he had
been unable to communicate with, and,
writing to the officials of the club
conducting the race, was able to ob
tain his address.
Clarence B. Cralle, a policeman Of
Louisville, Ky., at a recent sale of
rifles discarded by the government,
purchased one which proved to be the
Identical gun he had carried through
the Spanish war.
Talks on Alveolar
TEETH
E. Dayton Craig, D. D. S.
INVESTIGATE
MY
METHOD
X have heard a definition for a
skeptic, which reads something like
this, "A Skeptic is one who first
doubts, then investigates." -
If you are skeptic in regards my
Alveolar Method "Investigate" and
you will be satisfied that it will do
all that Is claimed for it
Investigations are being made
dally and I wonder if you, who may
he reading this article, are ready to
start yours. There must be merit
fl my method, else It would not
stand the test of time. I can send
you to patients who are wearing my
Alveolar teeth you can talk with
them and be satisfied for yourself.
But first of all I would have to ex
amine your mouth. No charge is
made for examination and there Is
no obligation to have work done.
There Is no two cases exactly
alike, hence each case has to be ex
amined carefully before I could say
whether you could be supplied with
these Alveolar Teeth.
When by examination it is found
that you can have teeth put in that
will give you absolute satisfaction..
I will be ready to proceed with your
work.
If you cannot call at this time, send
for my booklet on "Alveolar Teeth"
which explains my method fully. It
Is free on request
E. DAYTON ClAIG, D.D.S.
MONONGAHELA r VNK BUILDING,
The Most Compl- i Dental Office
In Plf ;urgh,
8IXTH AVE, COR. WOOD ST.
Bell Phone Grant 362, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Office Hours: 9 A. M. to 5:30 P. M.
(Not Open 8unaays.)