I BOMB QUESTIONS FOn XOU. Do you come nearer day by day To the port where your dreams all anchored iier Or do you sail farther and far away In an angry tea with a sullen sky? Do rou come nearer the Ouulit-to-be In the wagon you hitched to a distant star? Or do you drift on hopelessly, Content to bide with the Things that are! Are you a Drone or a Do-itnow A Hurry-up or a Wait a-while? A Do-it-so or an Anyhow? A Chcer-up-boya or a Never-smile? It' none of my business, that I know, For you are the captain and mate and crew Of that ship of yours, but the Where- you-go , Depends on the AVhat-and how-you-do. Are you a Yes or a Mayhc-ao? Are yoti a Will or a Guess-you'llbe? 'A Come-onlnds or a Let's-nntgo? A Yes-I-will or an Oh-l'll-see? It isn't the least concern of mine, I know that well, but as time endures, IH'hen they thresh the wheat and store the wine, Tou'll find it's n bin concern of yours. J, W. Foley, in Youth's Companion, Maria's Burglar. He Is called Maria's burglar be cause I hired him on her account. As the children would say, he was not a "really" burglar. One glance at his gentle frankness, his serene respectability must have convinced you of that fact beyond peradventure. Moreover, he was my daughter's fiance, and no decent citizen, bo far as I am aware, would suffer an avowed lawbreaker to remain In his household In that capacity. Maria's burglarphobla exhibited Its first symptoms the night we moved Into our new home. We were sleeping for the first time tinder Us roof. Hardly had I dozed oft when I felt the gentle Impact of Maria's fist In my ribs and the soft ibilance of her whisper In my ear: "Get up, John. There's some one on our roof." I raised my head and lis tened attentively. "There's no one there," I announced definitely. Maria Insisted there was; adding that there were two of them, and that one wore hob-nailed shoes. My query as to the ize of the shoes met with no re ponse. At last, to satisfy her, I arose and went to the little closet on the top floor which marks the en trance to our scuttle. In one hand I carried a lamp; In the other an un loaded revolver. Twice I called, "Who's there?" and twice was I an swered only by the running of the wind as It swept along the chimney (ops. I did not raise the scuttle lid; Time for that ir. the morning. Though fully regaled with the details f my expedition Maria remained awake for at least four hours. She told me about It the next day. In the morning we found an old felt hat on our roof. Maria gloated. Our neighbor's son claimed it Inter In the day, saying he had dropped it on our roof while playing on his own some weeks previously. Our burglars next appeared on the front steps about 4 o'clock of a frosty winter's morning. From her trem bling place under the blanket Maria could almost distinguish the words of their conversation; something I failed to accomplish, even though I stood for three whole minutes in the chilled vestibule with my ear at the front door keyhole. That we arose the neit morning to find ourselves alive, our silverware intact, and out doors securely bolted, Maria was in clined to attribute to a renascence of the age of miracles. After thf.t we were besieged no less than three times a week; sometimes ofteuer. "Maria," said I, at last, "what is It about a burglar that you fear so abjectly? If one wants to get into our place he'll get there, never fear. Whatever he takes will be replaced by the insurance people, anyway." "And if he kills us where we lie I presume that will be liquidated by the insurance people as well if either of us is here to collect it." This in Maria's most sarcastic man ner. "So It is bodily inju.y you fear? Why? Am I not here?" Our hero spoke these words with calm confi dence and fine fearlessness. Under the circumstances Marie's responsive sniff was hardly complimentary. Bluntly she inquired if a burglar saw fit to enter our room with a loaded pistol In his hand and a fero cious scowl upon his face what would I do? - "I'd Jump out of bed and grapple him where he stood. I'd put my knee on his neck and throttle him until he iowled for mercy. I'd pummel him with all my might, and leave hm lying Inert on the floor, while I went oft to fetch an ambulance in which to remove his battered carcass tba- is, of course, provided he was not inconsiderate enough to take to his heels before I had time to com plete my vengeance." So that due modesty might attend my claim, I vouchsafed the opinion that all bur ' glars are cowards at heart. "Indeed! said Maria. The sub limated sarcasm and skepticism con tained In that brief word determined tne. My prospective son-in-law, Clar ence Colburn, failed to evince instant enthusiasm over my plan, even though I offered to purchase on bis behalf the real thing in the shape of a mask, a jimmy and a lantern. Be fore he agreed to carry out the pnrt I had assigned to blm, I was obliged to promise several things.' first, the wrath of his prospective mother-in- law must be appeased by me, in cast of the discovery of his identity at whatsoever expense. Secondly, my demonstrations of bravery miiBt be strictly passive and largely oratorical. I might command him to 'desist; to leave the house under threat of speedy apprehension; to abandon his plunder where he found it but I must not leave my place. I was not to touch the floor until he had full opportunity to clear the room. Lastly, my pistol must remain un loaded "In case we get too excited, you know." These details fixed, we set Thursday as the date, and prompt midnight as the hottr of our adven ture. Maria was very nervous that night. Three evenings before the Sanborn house in our street had been entered and" its contents removed to parts un known. That very morning we had learned of two other burglaries in our Immediate vicinity. Eagerly Maria scanned the obituaries in the local journal; I fancy she was disappointed at the lack of funeral announcements. Before we Anally retired she saw fit to recount all three affairs mosaically, and to remark dolefully that she was sure our turn was coming soon. "Nonsense," said I, having left tha door unlatched. The town clock bell had completed its dozen peals, and we were Ij'lng cosily in our places when there came a soft creaking on the hallway stairs, followed by the muffled tread of foot steps outside of our door. "John," Maria whispered, "did you hear that?" "What?" I asked, fearlessly. "Some one is at our door. Go out and shoot him. Oh-h-h!" The door opened softly and a clrcla of light was planted on the opposite wall. Our visitor jjiacle straight for the bureau and started to fill his pockets. I rose In my place. Impressively I demanded, "What are you doing there, r-r-rascal?" For answer he flashed the light Into our faces! My own was unruffled; smiling even. On Maria's I saw such a look of frozen terror that I was sore tempted to abandon our experiment then ami there. It was only my promise to Clarence that Impelled me to see It through. "See here, sonny," said he, as he took my watch. "Get your thinking apparatus busy locating where you keep the decent things. This is junk. The stuff I got down in your dining room is enough to make anybody mad. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." "Out of my house this instant, or, by Heaven, you perish where you stand! . Begone, villain. Vanish! Vamoose! " "Vamoose" was Clarence's cue to depart. Instead of that he strode over to our bedside and dealt me a smart cuff on the ear. This was no part of the agreement, and I hastened to voice my remonstratlon. "Not do what?" was the answer. gruffly given. "That is funny. Ha, ha! Keep quiet, you fossil, or I'll run a rapid transit tunnel right through you." A ball of fire flashed into my eyes and I felt the impact of cold steel on my forehead. "Spare us! Spare us!" came In muffled tremolo from under the blanket. "Give blm that (100 you have under your pillow, John." He did not wait for me to give it. He pushed my head aside and thrust his hand under the pillow. As the gleam of the lantern was turned aside for an Instant I caught a glimpse of the pistol as it went by me. It was a tiny automatic revolver. And I had bought Clarence a horse pistol! "Give me your diamonds," growled the intruder, "Quick, or I shoot." My tongue clave to the roof of my mouth and my teeth rattled. As speedily as I could I withdrew my head under the coverlet and kept it there until tun sound of retreating footsteps made known that the bur glar had gone. It was Maria's voice that I heard as I emerged. Her tones, I confess, were slightly hysterical. "Grapple him, throttle him, pummel him; pummel him, throttle him, grapple him." She said this over and over again. I did not stop long to listen. I Jumped out of bed and made for the window. I called for help, and an answering whistle told me that my call had been heard. As I left the window I spied some one coming up on the run. I rushed down the stairs and ran through the hallway. On the porch I ran into a policeman. There was another man with him held tightly. "Here's your burglar." said the officer. "I got him as he was coming back. Said he came up to help you; good nerve, eh? His partner wasn't quite so cool about it; I saw him run ning away with a bag. He was too quick for me, so I nabbed this one." The captive removed his mask and showed us his startled, white coun tenance. Yes. It was Clarence. We have tried to explain matters to Maria. Time and again we have assured her that it was all a joke perpetrated for her especial benefit. No use. Each time she rewards both of us with a cool stare aud asks icily: "Where, then, are my coffee pot and my silver spoons and the soup ladle?" Besides, she Invariably concludes, had Clarence been the burglar, she had small doubt that I would have grap pled him, throttled him and pum meled him. Cold type does not re produce the possibilities lurking in hor tone. New York Tribune. The Pet Dogs of Paris). In Paris dogs are treated as well as human beings are. They wear auto mobile togs when they go motoring, they have a hospital, and they even have a good-sized cemetery, with monuments and headstones and in scriptions and mortuary wreaths. New York World. Chicks in the Garden. The Bmall chicks can run in the garden Just as well as not. They will do no damage and the vermin they will pick up will help the gar den. Place the coops or brooders alongside the garden fence aud make a few'openlngs through the fence to admit the chicks. They are safe while In the garden, too. Farmers' Home Journal. Remedy For the Worms, A small striped worm has been cut ting the young corn off, after it is a few Inches high. I would like to know what it la. A. J. It is one of the climbing cut worms. It is too late to treat him, he has disappeared; but another season yoti can kill him by soaking some clover leaves in water saturated with Paris green, aud scntterlng them around in the part of the field where the worms are at work. They will eat the clover leaves and die. Indiana Farmer. Comfort For Hens. The hen that Is kept under com fortable conditions will produce more eggs that it given no care In that respect. Cool quarters at night in summer correspond with warm quar ters in winter; that is, it is" comfort that assists in securing desired re sults. The material used on the floor and in the nests should not be bulky. Cut straw makes not only excellent nests, but provides litter for the floor of the poultry house, nnd assists in keeping it clean. Wh?n grain is thrown in cut straw, as litter, the hens will work and scratch In It in dustriously. Farmers' Home Jour nal. Drag, 13 ro If your road is soft or rough. Drag, brother, drag; Once or twice will be enough Drag, brother, drag; Wheels won't sink into a rut, . Kvery time you strike a cut Teams won't worry if you'll but Drag, brother, drag. T won't take long to lix your road, Drag, brother. drag; If you d pull a bigger load, Drag, brother, ding; It means dollars in the end, Saved on teams and wagons, friend, So to this your best ear lend Drag, brother, drag. 1'aw Paw (Mo.) Bazoo. And "if at first you don't succeed," Drag, brother, diag; And once or twice don't fill the need, Drag, brother, (hag; When a shower of rain has passed, And the sun shines out at last, While the roads arc drying fast, Drug, brother, drag. Kvery time you drag the road, Drag, brother, drag; Tho lighter to your team the load, Drag, brother, drag; It will pny you every time, Just to see your horses smile, As they quickly trot a mile, Drag, brother, drug. Anil "Cube" will come along nnd see, Drag, brother, drag; Just how a good road ought to be, Drag, brother, drag; When lie gets home he'll take his pen, , And write you up the best of men. And you'll be mighty famous then (?), Drag, brother, drag. Republican Press, Butler, Mo. : c. liny For Hens. Possibly there are fine bits of pea hay, or hay from alfalfa, or clover, lying about in the barn. It these are soaked up with hot water, they,wlll make happy hens and aid the' egg business. Do not feed the hay wet. Use Just enough water to moisten the leaves and see what a nice color they become. It desired, bran can be added to the hay to dry It and to sup ply more egg feed. Cornmeal may also be UBed with the hay. Do not feed long bits of hay and do not fail to feed it in clean troughs. Have the mixture as cool as blood temperature before feeding it. Progressive Farmer. Itopy Milk. Concerning this trouble, which is caused by an outside germ which gets Into the milk after it is drawn, Pro fessor Farrlngton recommends the following: The best way to overcome thi3 trouble is to carefully wash the cow's udder and brush her lcg3, afterwards drying both with a clean towel; theu the milker should wash his band3, thoroughly steam the pall Into which he milks, and after throwing away the first streams of milk drawn, milk the cow with dry hands into this clean pall. The milk should be protected as carefully as poBsIblo from dust, and then strained into cans, in which It is to be transported, or in which it is set for cream riBlng. The Strainer cloth, carrying cans and sep arator, it one is UBed, should be given an extra washing and scalding in or der to destroy any of these germs which have been the cause of the ropy milk. There Is no doubt that this trouble may be overcome in this way, and the success cne has in doing It will depend entirely upon how carefully he protects the milk from the gcrni3, which must get Into the milk that is drawn from tha cow. The Top Notch Farmer. That farmer or stockman who han dles the best stock and feeds the best Is the top notch farmer, the one that gets the most out of the business, and you never hear him growling around and saying that there is nothing to be made In farming. There are a few of this kind in nearly every commun ity, model farmers, whom we would all do well to follow. Right here let ms state that most of us would be greatly benefited for our business If we would spend more of our time with our neighbors and these model farmers. Probably the workings of one of these farmers, with whom the writer has had considerable dealing in the capacity of a live stock trader, would be of Interest to the readers. My first deal with him was for his spring fed hogs and they were so good that I reached higher than usual for them. These hogs were fine blooded Polands and they-all looked the same age and as if they were all out bf the same mold. They were real fat and toppy, the kind that any man ought to be proud of. And he was proud be cause he produced the best In the neighborhood and received tho top price. He says that when he began with them he was surprised that they kept In fine fix and fattened on so much less feed than the nondescript type that was so common. No other kind for him now. -I happened around again in time to buy the next litter and they were flue. Ho had another Utter, just come, of the same type and all about the same age. The sire cost a lot of money, but it was well spent, for he was a fine indi vidual. His brood sows were selected mothers, gentle, large nnd long. The other stock on the farm was liter, Drag. of the same good quality. The horses and mules were of a type that at tracted buyers and Included a high priced harness mare and the toppy mule colts of Jiia own raising. His cattle showed good Judgment in tho selection, and the cows for home us9 numbered only two, but I have seen halt a dozen that altogether could not make such a fine showing in milk and butter. Besides furnishing his table with such fine dairy products, enough was Bold to meet most of his store bills. In the production of lambs and wool he ranked well up towards the front, for he had tried to make up for whatever was lacking in the qual ity of his ewes, in extra care and feeding. Most of the ewes in this section are from the mountain coun ties and with good care and feeding may be made to produce toppy lambs. Our model farmer uses good sires, feeds his ewes at lambing time, and together with blue grass, he Is able to produce lambs that are toppy. So much for the stock. The farm Is made to produce feeds nearly all to gether, but wheat mtist figure in the rotation and It is of good enough quality to sell for seed wheat at-about twenty cents premium. . The corn, though used for feeding only, is of the same good quality. E. W. Jones, In Agricultural Epltomlst Ambassador Tower's Popularity. At the Philadelphia Club a Phlla delphlan adverted to Charlemagne Tower's great popularity with the Kaisor and the German court. "Mr. Tower has a pretty wit.' My sister, who lives in Berlin, tells me that the Kaiser, Inviting Mr. Tower to dine with blm informally, called him in the invitation 'the most engaged man la Berlin.' Mr. Tower in his reply said: 'The most engaged man in Berlin will be but too happy to dins with the most engaging one.' Wifh the Funny The Hottentot Tot. If a Hottentot tot taught a Hottentot let To tot ere the tot could totter Ought the Hottentot tot To be taught to say "aught" Or "naught," or what ought to be taught her? Or- If to hoot nnd toot a Hottentot tot He tnught by a Hottentot tooter, Should the tooter get hot if the Hottentot tut Hoot and toot at the Hottentot tutor? In the Right Spirit. Miss Passy "Oh, It's very good of you, captain, to invite me for the first waltz." The Captain "Don't mention it, ma'am. This Is a charity ball." Philadelphia Inquirer. A Wise Salesman. "I er wish to look at some er false hair," said the embarrassed young lady. "Very well, miss," rejoined the diplomatic salesman. "What shads does your friend wish?" Rain-Water. "Looks a bit like rain, ma'am," ob- served the friendly milkman as he handed In his morning pint. "It does. Indeed," replied the ready-witted housekeeper with her gaze on the bottle. Boston Tran script. The Proper Punishment? "I have here," began the poet, " bit of vagrant verse." ' "Say no more," responded the kind ly editor. "I'll cheerfully give it thirty days in the pigeon-hole of my desk." Kansas City Journal. x Killing Her Mace. The Curate "Good gracious, Giles! whatever makes you keep such a spiteful old cat ns that?" Giles "Well, sir, you Bee, It's like this I've felt a bit lonely since my old woman died!" London Opinion. Understood nt Last. Lawyer "How is it that you hava waited three years before suing Mul ler for calling you a rhinoceros?" Countryman "Because I neves saw one of the beasts till yesterday at the xoo." Fllegende Blaetter. How Smitliers Got Rabies. "And so Smlthers died of hydro phobia?" . "Yes, poor chap." "How did it happen?" "He put too much horseradish on his bologna and it bit his tongue." Chicago News. Cholljr Built No Ark. Towne "Why do you call young Fetherbrane 'Cholly?' His first name is Noah." Browne "Yes, but that's so in appropriate. Noah had sense enough to get In out of the rain." Phila delphia Press. Present Was Absent. Mammpv "Well, Edith, how did you liko the kindergarten?" Edith "I didn't like it a bit. The teacher put me on a chair and told me to sit there for the present. And I sat and sat and she never gave me the present." Chicago News. Quite So. "Every woman has thirteen- per sonalities." "What of it?" "Women should be so Informed." "Aw, what's the use? Most of 'em only have hats for eight or nine of those personalities." Louisville Courier-Journal. On to the Ropm. "I guess my father must have been a pretty bad boy," said one young ster. "Why?" inquired the other. "Because be knows exactly what questions to ask when he wants to know what I've been doing." Wash ington Star. Poor Old Hubby. "John, ' dear, I wish you would taste this milk and see if it's perfect ly sweet." "What for?" "Because if It's the least bit sour I don't want to give any to Fido. It isn't good for him." Chicago Tri bune. An Extensive Wardrobe. The Tragedian "I'm indeed sorry to leave you like this, Mrs. Buskins; but I presume you have no objection to me taking my belongings away with me?" . Landlady "You needn't worry. My husband has already hung your ether collar on the hatrack." Sparing the Horse. Cabman (with exaggerated polite ness) "Would you mind walking the other way and not passing the horse?" Stout Lady (who has ju.it paid the minimum fare) "Why?" "Because if 'e sses wot 'e's been carrying for a shilling 'e'll 'ave a fit." Pick-Me-Vo. BUSINESS CXRUtt, ' JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, Pension Attorney and Rear.Esta.te At sat. . RAYMOND E. BROWN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, , (j, m. Mcdonald, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, Rsal estate agent, patents secured, col lections mulls promptly. Office In Syndicate siillding, Keynoldavllle, Pa. gMITH M.MOCREIGUT, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, Wnt... .1I- ... 1 ...... ... b M-,. V lections will rece ve prompt attention. Offlot , In the Reynoldsvllle Hardware Go. building, ' Main street Reynoldsvllle, Pa. Qtt. B. Ei. HOOVER, DENTIST, Resident dentist. In the Hoover buildlaf Main street. Oentloness In operating. )R. h. L. MEANS, DENTIST. Office on second floor of the First Netloaes bank building, Main street. TJR. R. DEV ERE KING, DENTIST, office on second floor of the Syndicate balls Ing, Main street, Reynoldsvllle, Pa. JJENRY PRIESTER ' UNDERTAKER. Dlack and white funeral cars. Mala street, Reynoldsvllle, Pa. PITTSBURG. Wheat No. 9 red f -s W Rye No. 2 Corn No ? yellow, e:ir 9) No. 8 yellow, shelled H" HS Mixed ear "." 71 Oats No. white K 8i No. 8 white ' SI Flour-Winter patent 6 HO (0 Fancy straight winters Hay No. 1 Timothy 160) li s Clover No. 1 12 V) ISO) Feed No. 1 white mid. ton.; 18 V) Brown middlings -f0i 5 50 Bran, hulk WtO) i Ml Straw Wheat 7 :i 7 9U Oat 7 11 1 00 Dairy Products. Butter Elgin crnainory M S Ohio creamery 21 Fancy country roll 17 IS Cheese Ohio, new I ' 17 New York, new lit 17 Poultry, Etc. Hens per lb 17 M thickens dreesed 11 13 Eggs Pa. and Ohio, frosh i; 1 Fruits and Vegetables. Potatoes Fancy white per bu.... tt' I 01 4'ahbage per ton IM 1 7 Onions per barrel.'..., 5 1j U 0J BALTIMORE. Flour Winter Tatent $ 70 i 00 Wheat No. 4 red ., 1 at Corn Mixed 71 78 Eggs 17 M Butter Ohio creamery itj at PHILADELPHIA. Flour Winter Patent f SCO a 75 Wheat No. S red 7 Corn No. 2 mixed eft m Oats No. S white ii 54 Butter Creamery M Iggs PennsylTanla flrsts 17 IS NEW YCRK. Flour Patents I 6 Ml i ) Wheat No. red I'" Corn No. t 1 Oat-No. S white M it Butter -Creamery ai Eggs State and Pennsylvania.... 17 ltl LIVE 8TOCK. Union Stock Yards, Pittsburg. CATTLE Extra, H'O to IftOO pounds Prime, 1WO to U0 pounds Oood, lltno to 110 pounds Tidy, 1060 to 1150 pounds. Fair, W) to 110) pr.ur.ds Common, 70J to 900 pounds.... Bulls , tow a 1100s Prime, hear? Prime, medium weight Bot heary Yorkers Light Yorkers Pigs Roughs. Stags SHEEP Prime wethers Oood mixed Fair mixed ewes and wethers.. Culls and common Spring lambs Veal ealves Heavy to thin calves . b0 04 s HO . 5 8 1 5 7r ' , (ISaJW . 4 00 at, a 7a . 800 40f . 8 00 (4 4 W) . 1 )0 4 4 i in tn 1 o 6 71 at 7r 6 7 ") 14 7 00 , M i 71) 5 45 ft 5 7,5 5 1 t 5 t 4 00 C4 I5i . i a 4 , 4 1)0 c$ 4 ) , saw 17. . 1 SJ ) 0 , 3 01 :Vt , 50) its 7 7 at 1 s Railroads In the Knitoil States, by facilitating communhatirn, have spread a uniform language, the Am erican language, over the entire cout try, leaving pleasant provincialism of speech hero and there whrre writ ers of dialect poetry may find them In England, says the Indianapolis ?Tews, the railway travel taking the place of tho stage roach, has done quite the different thing. It has de stroyed the country dialects and tent In their stead not English undefiled but the jargon of the cockney, which has been spread everywhere by con cert hall performers and made espe cially popular by Albert Chevalier the singer ol costernionger ditties. "Wot's th' biby's nlme. lidy?" 'asks an Kng lish boy of a young mother. Shi? answers: '"is nlme is Jimes." Other countries may have greater standing armies and may force all their young men to undergo military service for a fixed term, but the Unit ed States, boasts the Pittsburg Dis patch, by the organization of tho tional Guard of the various States practically has a standing army able to cope with that cf any other Gov ernment of the world, and that with out taking the ycung men from their occupations and their duties as citi zens and burdening the national trea ury with their continual support. HOW TO PREPARE FAT FROM SUET, ETC. Cut the Tat In small pieces, cover with cold water and let stand ovfr night; pour off this water, add frosi? water cr milk a cup to each two pounds of fat and 't cook very slow ly until the pieces aro li?ht brown in color, and the f-it Is clear und still (no sound of b'.tbblin? or cocking). Strain through a cloth and press the fat from the pieces fcr a second quality of fat. i