THIS JOURNALIST.
What is a hero, in this modern see?
No longer crowned autocrats are kings!
The mighty warriors that old Homer sing
Are dead or live but in his deathless page.
This is no time for prophet, seer or sage;
The tribute of a dream art vainly brings
For souls in thrall to earth's material things
No oracle or idler can engage.
The hero of the conquest ot to-day
Is he who grasps the moment as it flies
The arbiter through strife and failure wise,
Protagonist' of all life's moving play
Theknightwho curbs the wild barbaric Real
'And breaks it to the tight for the Ideal.
Henry Tyrrell, in the World's Anni
1 versary Edition.
READING ALOUD
The Ittie Bittie Ting Went
to Teep When He Yead
to Her.
g w v a s ft w w w
s n fi is r n tn n m
"I grieve to think It," he mused,
"but she sure hasn't got much of a
hunch for starry atmosphere and
things."
It wa3 with reference to the wife
Of his bosom that the man gave men
tal etpression to this little hunk of
musing. . She lay in bed sleeping
peacefully. He sat in a rocker beside
the bed. With hia thumb between
the pages where he had left off read
ing, the volume lay idly in his lap.
The volume was by Keats. He had
been reading the "Ode to a Nightin
gale" to her. It needs not to be said
that his position was indefensible.
Of course she had gone to sleep. Any
properly organized woman of healthy
mind and body, after a day's work
shopping and such is bound to re
lapse into slumber if-after her regu
lar hour for Blumbering has arrived,
Keats be droned at her even if the
droner be the overlord of the fief, the
main noise of the works. Of course
she had gone to sleep.
The "Nightingale" ode Is a good
thing for the man who thinks he
knows how to read aloud and Allah
alone knows how many men of this
kind there be who impose the "Night
ingale" and "slch" upon their de
voted wives after taps has sounded
end the lights should be doused.
Therefore, in spite of her heroin
effort, when he had finally reached
all that about Ruth standing amid
the alien corn, and so on, this de
voted wife simply could not help it.
To her the room became a croon
ing sea, illumined by soft lavender
lights, and she was lifted on board
her barque and wafted out upon the
sea which is rather a space-grabbing
way of saying that she just went
to sleep.
Her husband, his voice somewhat
choked and muffled by what he con
sidered the effectiveness and beauty
vi ma reuaering 01 tne lines, arrived
at the finish of the nightingale thing
with a flourish, and looked up from
the page for tumultous applause, not
to say vociferous cheers. If he didn't
expect these things why, any way, he
sure etpected to find her dissolved In
tears. Instead, as stated about three
times previously, he found her sleep
ing, and, sad to say, sleeping with her
mouth wide open, at that.
It was at this juncture that he
mentally delivered himself of the lit-
flft mitca tvilri ototo tt ...... u
- ...umw " Din. ia vu ima LI U IM
ful story.
"No appreciation of, no love for,
the beautiful things in life and story
and verse '
And plenty of other tommyrot like
this did this man chnn into a mental
hash with which to feed his belief
that he was abused. Yet for many
nights he had thus been using up her
beauty sleep with his prolonged dro
nlngs from the "Idylls of the King"
and "Chllde Harold" and such. And
this was the first time she had fallen
asleep under the infliction.
Now (maybe this is not generally
known a man can be a clip and still
love tire sound of his own voice ren
dering "Thanatopsis" and things.
Which Is why this particular man,
regarded with an abused expression
his deep-sleeping wife, gave a sudden
start, and why an expression ot craft
crept into his eyes.
"Blamed if It isn't abullyscheme!"
he mused kind of an explosive muse
this time.
He roso softly from the rocker,
tiptoed over to the chandelier, turned
out the lights, all but one, and that
be turned very low. Then he sneaked
down stairs. Then he softly picked
his coat and hat from the rack and
went down town, where he met the
old gang, and played billiards with
'em and told funny stories with Vm,
and just clipped around scandalous.
He got home after the middle of the
night, and found his unsuspicious
spouse still a-slumbering. When be
slipped into bed he murmured unto
himself, "Well, if this Isn't the
warmest gag I've framed up since I
got spliced, show muh show muh."
At the breakfast table on the fol
lowing morning she said to him:
"Why, Jackie, I really must have
gone to sleep while you were reading
to me last night. How stupid of me!"
"Stupid? Not stupid at all!" said
he. "That's what I read to you for,
my dear to read you to sleep,
y'know. Want you to go to sleep
every night when I read to you. Him
Ikes to tee him lttie bittie ting go to
teep when he yeeds to it," etc.. etc.
etc. you can just fill In the rest of
that conology to suit.
"Why, do you, really?" said she.
"How perfectly nice of you! I
thought I really had to remain awake.
Not that I don't Intensely enjoy your
reading but I do get sleepy some
times. And you don't mind my going
to sleep, then?"
Sure he didn't. He'd ha nn unrea
sonable brute If he did mind. Surest
thing she knew.
The gag went with a whirl that
came night, and for about two weeks
ot nights thereafter. He'd read to
her for about half an hour or so, and
then he'd say to her, "Now, here, my
dear. Is a dreamy, sleepy old part,
and you just want to close your eyes
while I read it and go drifting off to
the lttie wit tin land of nod," etc. And
because women are Just born unsus
picious some women she'd go to
Bleep every time. Then, as per pro
gram, he'd douse all the lights but
one and turn that low, and go down
town and foregather with the gang,
and, miraculously enough, never once
did she awaken when he sneaked In
and went to bed. Of course she
finally noticed that he was beginning
to look some rocky at the breakfast
table, and that he didn't care to par
take of much at that meal, except as
to the coffee part of it, and she wor
ried considerably as to the state of
his health. But Bhe didn't catch on.
"Never caught on at all," said the
brute. In laying bare his Infamy to
one of hi9 pals the other day, "until
last Wednesday ' night. Then she
nailed me on the home plate. I
thought she had me out at first, but
she didn't finish the play. Y'see, af
ter reading her to sleep I was sneak
ing over to turn down the light when
she shifted a bit, and her eyes halt
opened, and Bhe asked me why I
wasn't In bed. Told her I was just
about to come to bed. Then I fooled
and fiddled about a bit, and she
turned over and I thought she went
to sleep again, dogged if I didn't. But
she didn't go to sleep then at all.
When I got home at about 1.30 um
yeh, stepping a leetle high she lay
there wide awake and cheerful.
" 'Have a nice time, Jack?' says
she, smiley like.
"Knew it was all up then. Didn't
make any confessions. Wasn't neces
sary. She was next, and I was next
that she was next.
" 'Does him ike to have lttie bittie
ting go to teep when he yeeds to her?'
she asked me. Just like that, and me
I wasn't sayin' a word, bo. Not a
wud. I turned in and went to sleep.
She hasn't mentioned it since.
"But I guess maybe that reading
aloud thing hasn't been panned up at
our place or nothin' oh, no, I guess
It hasn't!" Washington Star.
The Bundle of Sticks.
By ELLIS O. JOXES.
The old man called his son to him
to explain the mysteries of business.
"My son," said he, "you have fin
ished college and you must cow make
a show at least of getting busy. Let
me explain to you a few fundamen
tals. Here I have a bundle of sticks.
See if you can break them."
The young man had been absent
from school with appendicitis at the
time his class read the old story of
the bundle of sticks, and so he was
not next. He tried and tried to
break the sticks, but could not. ,
"See how easy it is," said the old
man, taking the sticks, cutting the
cord and breaking them one by one.
"Gee, that's & bum joke," Bald the
young man, as he puffed his cigarette
and tried to look interested.
"It's no Joke," said the old man.
It Is a parable. The bundle yf sticks
taken together represent organiza
tion, which is very desirable In the
case of capital. If, however, we look
upon the sticks as representing la
bor, it is criminal and immoral for
them to be tied together. They would
then represent a union. Always keep
your capital sticks tied together and
your labor sticks separate."
"I should think what s- sauce for
the goose Is sauce for the gander,"
said the son, whose point ot view
was still blunt.
"It depends on how big a goose
yoa are," replied the old man.
From Life.
Dependence on England. -Old-time
American journalism oc
casionally makes better reading than
the new. Witness the first issue of
the Universal Instructor in all Arts
and Sciences and Pennsylvania Ga
zette, published In 1829. "We have
little news of consequence, the Eng
lish prints being stuffed with rob
beries, cheats, murders, bankruptcies,
promotion ot some and hanging of
others; nor can we expect much bet
ter till vessels arrive in the spring,
when we hope to inform our readers
what has been doing In the court and
cabinet In the Parliament house, as
well as the sessions house. In the
meantime we hope our readers will
be content with what we can give
'em, which, If it does 'em no good,
shall do 'em no hurt.." London
Chronicle.
Oddities of New York.
One family In New York City has
742 telephones. It is the Smith fam
ily. New York City is growing In build
ings at the rate of one and a half
each hour.
Inhabitants of New York City" are
using quite a river of water, for they
are now consuming 500,000,000 gal
lons daily."
No gold land in the world ot the
area of Manhattan Island is of such
great money value, acre for acre, and
Its output ot profit is practically with
out end. New York Herald.
The Baffling Egg.
They who uphold the doctrine of
utility In all natural phenomena may
well take pause at the color varia
tions of the cuckoo's eggs. It is diffi
cult to suggest any purpose in them.
Resemblance of the egg to those of
the bird dupe can serve no protective
purpose. The diet theory, if ever
seriously entertained, has been dis
missed as untenaMe, and the mystery
sUU remains. The Field.
New York City. Never has there
a prettier style been In vogue than
that of the over blouse and It suits
the young girls so peculiarly well
that It Is a special favorite among
the younger contingent. Here is one
that is charmingly graceful and at
tractive and which can be utilized
either separately or Joined to the
skirt, making a seml-prlncesse dress
as liked. In the illustration the ma
terial is pongee with bands ot taf
feta, while the centre front is made
of all-over embroidery, but almost
all materials that are used for girls'
dresses are appropriate and It will
be found equally satisfactory for the
thin materials of the present and
for the slightly heavier ones of the
near future. The centre-front por
tion is a feature and can be made ot
anything In contrast Bandings can
be utilized, and some of the Oriental
effects are exceedingly handsome,
while again, the bands on the blouse
Itself can be cut from any contrasting
material or could be of the same em
broidered or braided with soutache,
or banding could be applied over
them.
The blouse Is made with the fronts,
centre front and backs. The sleeves
are cut In one with It and there are
trimming straps which conceal the
shoulder seams while the shaped
strap finishes the neck, front and
back edges. The closing Is made In
visibly at the back.
The quantity ot material required
for the sixteen year size is two and
seven-eighth yards twenty-one or
twentytfour, two yards thirty-two or
Embroidered Net.
An exceedingly pretty touch Is giv
en the band-embroidered waist by
basting a fine net under certain fig
ures before embroidering them, cut
ting out the material afterward so
that the figures appear to be of em
broidered net.
Hair Worn Plain.
On occasions when hats 'are dis
carded the hair is worn plain, or
adorned with beads or paillettes, the
ribbons being quite abandoned.
'
one and one-half yards forty-four
Inches wide with one-half yard eight
een inches wide for the centre front,
three-quarter yard thirty-two Inches
wide for the centre front, three-quarter
yard thirty-two inches wide for
the trimming to make as illustrated.
Velvet Trimming.
An acceptable trimming for tall,
ored and semi-tailored costumes ia a
thin weave of chiffon velvet.
Child's Reefer.
There is no coat worn by the pro all
girl that quite takes the place of the
reefer. It is very generally becom
ing, it Is simple yet absolutely smart
in effect and it can be slipped on and
off with the greatest possible nie.
This one is made of white Berge with
collar and cuffs ot Copenhagen bine,
but the model can be utilized for
every material that is In vogue for
little girls' coats. White Is always
pretty and attractive, but dark red,
dark and medium blues and mixtures
are all in vogue, while for the real
warm weather linen, pique and
pongee all are liked.
The little coat is made simply wltS
the loose fronts and back and with
the big sailor collar. The shield
when worn Is buttoned Into place be-
neatb the collar and closed at the
back. The full sleeves are finished
with roll-over cuffs, but the plain
ones are simply stitched to simulate
straight ones.
The quantity of material required
for the medium size (six years) is
three and one-eighth yards twenty
seven, one and three-quarter yards
forty-four or one and one-halt yards
fifty-two Inches wide with one-halt
yard forty-four inches wide for col
lar and cuffs.
Hat Ribbons.
New hat ribbons show an Immense
white polka dot on deep colored back
grounds, such as dark red, navy blue,
golden brown and green. Three yards
will make a generous bow.
HOW TO KEEP JUICE IN A PIE.
Any one who has ever had the
Juice from an apple, rhubarb or other
pie run all out into the oven while
baking knows Just how annoying it is.
I have overcome the difficulty, says a
writer in the Woman's Home Com
panion, by taking a Btrip ot clean
white cloth, about an Inch wide and
long enough to lap when put around
the edge of the' plate, wringing It
out ot hot water, doubling together
lengthwise, and pinning tight around
the edge ot the plate. When the pie
is baked, take off this rim, and you
will find the juice in the pie instead
of in the oven.
FLOWERS FOR THE TABLE.
The fern which lent . so much
freshness to the dining table all win
ter suddenly presents an aspect dead
and depressing. Our very souls, at
this time of the year, call aloud for
frosh blooms. r
Flowers for the table should be
scrupulously fresh. . Nothing so dis
arms one at the beginning of a meal
as does a bunch of faded and too of
ten ill-odored posies.
The commonest field flower, fresh
ly plucked, has a transcending charm
over the faded orchid ot rarest -variety.
Then, too, be sure that the flowers
are free from ants or other little in
sects harmless, but not appetizing.
See that the water in which cut flow
ers are kept is always absolutely
pure. New Haven Register.
LAYING LINOLEUM.
In laying linoleum on the floor of a
room care should be taken to elimin
ate as much tracking as possible.
Around edges of room it should be
so cut as not to touch, that it may
have room in which to spread. Con
stant treading upon It has an Inclina
tion to widen it, and If it has not
room It will bulge out In Bpots over
the floor.
In selecting, It is always best to
pay the difference in price and buy
that which has its design imprinted
all the way through, as thai which
has the design only on the surface
loon becomes unsightly.
Considering tire length of time It
will lie on the floor before being re
newed, the inlaid quality will fall to
produce the usual eyesore that the
surface design does.
The kitchen and laundry are the
best places for this floor covering, as
it does away with the drudgery ot
scrubbing floors, the linoleum being
easily mopped clean in a Jiffy. New
York Press.
TO CLEANSE THE HAIR.
The hair needs frequent washing
during the summer weather because
one HveB out ot doors and gets all
the dust and soil blowing through
the air.
The simplest shampoo, which is al
ways available and which will take
out any accumulation ot atmospheric
dirt. Is a cake of white castlle soap
melted in a quart ot boiling water.
It makes a mild jelly and can be
kept In a wide-mouthed jar. When
using It wet the hair first with warm
water, then take two tablespoons of
it with a saltspoonful of soda and
rub this thoroughly over the hair.
Be sure to reach the scalp. Gather
the long ends of hair up on the
crown so they can be well lathered.
Massage the roots of the hair with
the fingers.
Then rinse off the soap with water
as hot. as the tread can stand, then
cooler water and lastly a spray of
cold water to close the pores. Phil
adelphia Ledger.
v.
Lemon Pudding To one -half
pound of stale bread crumbs add the
same weight ot finely chopped suet,
the juice and grated rind ot two lem
ons and four ounces of sugar; mix
well, beat three eggs and add them;
boll for an hour in a mold. Serve
with lemon sauce.
Sardine Salad Remove skin and
bone from six large sardines, cut Into
tiny pieces, place in a salad bowl
with six cold boiled eggs cut into
strips and three cold boiled potatoes
cut into dice. If yon like the flavor
add one-half teaspoon finely chopped
chives, then four tablespoons French
dressing. Serve cold.-
Sponge Cake One and one-quarter
cups sugar, one and one-half cups
flour, two small teaspoons baking
powder, four eggs, four tablespoons
boiling water, a pinch ot salt; cream
yolka and sugar, add beaten whites,
then the flavoring, add baking pow
der, add water; stir thoroughly.
Nice in two large layers spread with
whipped cream.
Waffle Potatoes Peel large whole
potatoes and cut each into flute shape
by holding It first lengthwise and
then crosswise on a potato cutter.
Keep the slices in iced water until
ready to cook, when fry them a light
brown in hot lard. Drain them care
fully upon removal from the lard and
keep In a covered vessel to retain
their beat until ready to serve. Be
fore serving drain again.
GARDEN SOUNDS.
I love to hear the bluebells chime,
And little cowslips moo.
Of tiger lilies roaring I'm
A constant lover, too.
But best of all the garden sounds
To which I love to hark,
Is when at eve I go my rounds
The Johnny-jum-pups bark.
Carlyle Smith, in Harper's Weekly.
A PRELIMINARY REQUIREMENT.
Tom "Why don't you get a new
spring suit?"
Dick "I can't find a new tailor."
Somervllle Journal.
A SPORTING EVENT.
Mrs. Peck "Henry, do you see
anything lji the paper about Blinker
running over his mother-in-law?"
. Mr. Pack "Not . yet. I haven't
come to the sporting news." Puck.
THE SPRING DELUGE.
"I had a delightful talk with the
Governor ot the State."
"Enjoyed It, eh?"
"Yes; he didn't want to sell me a
ticket for anything." Washington
Herald.
NOT UP TO DATE.
"Wasn't their divorce a shocking
affair?" said Mrs. Feathergllt.
"Inexcusable," answered Mrs.
Smartsett. "They both had the most
unfashionable lawyers they could
find." Philadelphia Press.
KNEW WHAT WAS COMING.
"I have often marvelled at your
brilliancy, your aptness at repartee,
jour"
"If it's more than $5. old man. I
can't do a thing for you. I'm nearly
broke myself." Houston Post.
CHUMS.
The Tall One "When I was your
size I was Just sweetly pretty."
The Short One "What a pity you
grew up!" In the New York Tele
gram. V
THE WILY AGENT.
"How do you succeed in insuring
so many people?"
"I look them over, and then I look
doubtful, and offer to bet them a dol
lar that In their present state their
application for Insurance would be re
jected." Houston Post.
NOTHING DOING.
"I tell you I must have some
money!" roared the King of Mart
tana, who was In sore financial straits.
"Somebody will have to cough up."
"Alas!" sighed the guardian of the
treasury, who was formerly court
Jester, "all our coffers are empty."
Judge.
THE TRUTH OF IT.
"You can't buy happiness," ex
claimed the sentimentalist.
"No," answered the man who is
sternly practical. "You can't buy
happiness. And at the same time
that fact doesn't imply that your com
fort is enhanced by being broke."
Washington Star.
MOVED .BY CURIOSITY.
"What are you going out before
the curtain again for?" demanded the
stage manager, clutching the arm of
the new vaudeville artist, who had
Just made a dismal failure.
"Somebody's clapped," blurted the
actor, "and I want to find out who it
was." The Circle.
DUBIOUS PRAISE.
, "Grey, the art critic, came along
just as I was looking at your new
painting."
"You mean my At Work in the
Fields.' And what did Grey think of
It?"
"Commended its realism highly.
Said even to look at It made him
tired." Boston Transcript.
HE GOT IT.
"James," said Mr. Rakeley, "I be
lieve you saw me er saluting the
nursemaid."
"Why, yes, sir," replied the but
ler. .
"Well, it's best to keep quiet about
it. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," replied James, with
upturned palm; "silence is golden,
sir."