THE "HOME, SWEET HOME" HOUSE.,
6tfl1 stand the maples st the gate,
I he dark fir-tret'a beside the door!
ihe bob-white calla hia potiBive luute ,
As sweetly aa he did bvfure.
Ho more the footpath breaka the lawn,
- ' course is overgrown and dim;
Wy father never trends upon
Ike spot for years so dt-ur ts him.
AN EXPERIMENT
d - --t.(Si.d:
How the Jimmy - i
Supplemented the Pen.
DY JULIEN JOSEPIISON-
J0v V you linvo ever tried to
X sb Jt write story I" which a
O T O burglary forniB a vltnl part
Jt f of the plot, you will agree
TMT tlmt for this Hurt of work
theoretically, nt least there
Should be no time bo fitting as the
midnight hour; no plnce bo prolific of
plnal Blilverings as a btiro, dimly lit
room in a rambling, deserted old
house, where cold draughts, and eerie,
unnccountablo creuklngs conspire to
add just the right flavor of glioKtllnpRS
to the situation. It was exactly upon
this theory that I rented such n room
In such a house In a lonely suburb of
San Francisco, and on a certain bitter
cold evening In December prepared to
pass the night there.
My desire waB to work up a vivid
account of a burglary In all Us fas
cinating details depicting the entrance
of the burglar, the feelings of the un
fortunate Individual whose lot It was
to be the victim, and all that sort of
thing. Naturally, I spared no pains
to make my environment as suggt'Rtive
as possible. On the tnbla at which I
Intended to sit while recording my im
pressions of the situation, I placed a
loaded magazine pistol. The blinds I
had drawn so closely that from the
outside the room must have seemed
to be in darkness. My only light was
a dark lantern, which I hud bought
that day from a benevolent-looking
Hebrew patriarch, who recommended
the lantern most highly. lie evidently
had mistaken my calling.
I did not nt once feci In the mood
for writing. And ro, ns there was a
comfortable fire going In the old-fnsh-loncd
grate, I got out my pipe and
Smoked until the midnight hour with
all the weird, fantastic images that It
talis up In the Imagination was almost
nt hand. At such a time and such n
place, sterile, indeed, were the imaglna-1
tion that did not feel Itself aroused. 1
twns soon scratching away quite mer
rily. I had been working thus for
perhaps twenty minutrs, and had just
reached the point where the burglar Is
due to make his entry on the scene,
tjvhen I fancied that I heard a faint
scraping sound nt one of the windows.
It startled me for the moment. Then
t concluded that it was nothing, con
gratulated myself on having brought
my imagination to such a responsive
, pitch, and laughed at myself for hav
ing been frightened by a monster of
tny own creation.
I resumed my writing. But I had
not completed , a dozen lines when
something occurred which was not
down on my program. It was a repe
titionthis time unmistakably real
Of the sound which had startled me n
few moments before. In a flash I shot
the slide of my lantern to, picked up
my revolver, and slipped quickly and
noiselessly into a closet. I pulled the
closet door almost shut just leaving
a sufficient, opening to enable me to
nee what was going on In the room
without myself .being seen. I did not
have long to wait. The window at
Which I had first heard that faint,
scraping sound was slowly, carefully
shoved tipward. The blind was then
cautiously thrust aside, and a masked
face appeared in the opening. For a
moment it glanced warily about the,
room. Then, apparently satisfied with
what he saw, the prowler raised the
blind and climbed in softly through
the open window. This was realism
with a vengeance.
I shifted my feet silently, and took
(a new grip on my revolver. For a
moment I thought of sallying forth
from my hiding place and giving battle
to my nocturnal visitor. On second con
sideration it seemed better for me to re
main where I was and await develop-
ments. Then if the burglar did dis
cover my hiding-place, I would have a
fleeided advantage.
While these speculations had been
forming in my mind, the burglar had
pulled an ugly-looking pistol from his
pocket, examined it, and put it back.
Then with the slide half closed he be
Ran to flash his lantern about the room.
ie was in truth a burglar to satisfy
tie' requirements of the most sau
ralnary youth who ever reveled in a
lime novel. He was short and squat
f figure, shabbily dressed, and pos
lessed of a gait which for pure burglar
tousness far surpassed anything I have
ever seen on the stage. He wore a
oiled mufller about his throat, for
the night was bitter cold. Now catch
ing sight of my watch which, in my
excitement. I hrfd left lying on the
table he slid over to the table, picked
op the watch, and after a moment's
scrutiny he rhrust it into his pocket
with a grunt of satisfaction. He con
tinued his search of the room, but
could find nothing else worthy of his
attention. Once he seemed to be look
I atill behold my mother' fare,
lli'r sinking voire drifts down to me;
lint varatit now her waiting place.
Where she had always loved to be.
No hand ran stay the crumbling walls.
The fearleas weeila and niosaes atart;
And every niece of Home that fulls
Keats heavy on my homrait-k heart.
Koacoe Brumbaugh, in Lijipincott's.
IN REALISM
1S1HI1I
ing rather queerly at the closet, ns if
he thought it might be profitably Inves
tigated. I had c rather bad minute
jUHt about this time, and felt greatly
relieved when he went silently froci
the room, leaving the door open behind
him. For some minutes nfterward I
could hear him walking down the halls
and through the uncarpeted rooms of
the old place. I was juRt beginning
to hope thnt tic would find his investi
gation so barren of results as to cause
him to leave the house In disgust, when
his footsteps now sounded in the hall
lending to my room, and an instant
later he was with me again. He looked
about him; then walking over to my
table, he picked up my unfinished man
uscript, contemplated it a moment, and
thrust it into his coat pocket. Then
going over to the coal box he scooped
up a generous shovelful of coal and
threw it upon the fire, which had near
ly gone out. After which he calmly
almost luxuriously drew my choir up
to the fire, laid his pistol on the table
within easy reach, and proceeded to
read my manuscript. Ho was clearly
a inoRt extraordinary burglar.
At first tho unexpectedness of Ms
singular actions dazed me; then the
boldness of them fairly took me off
my feet. I watched my felonious
friend narrowly, noting with pardon
able pride that he semced Interested in
my story. Then a sudden wild idea
seized me. AVhy not enlist the aid of
my degenerate guest In the noble cause
of literature? Indeed, coul4 anything
be more appropriate? Surely, I reas
oned, It does not necessarily follow
thnt no good can come from a burglar.
And this one seemed unusually intelli
gent. The more I thought of tho Idea
the more it pleased me, the more It
took hold of me. Still I hesitated.
The thlug was undeniably dnngerous.
To be sure, I had obtained my knowl
edge of guns on n cattle ranch, and
felt thnt I could shoot nhout as fast
and ns straight as nine burglars out of
ten. Hut what if this burglar hap
pened to bo the tenth? I had just
about come to the conclusion that I
had better lie low until my knight of
the dark lantern had departed, when
something occurred that suddenly
changed my plans. As the burglar
finished the manuscript, he 'yawned
and laid it back on the table with the
nufttered remark: "Nobody but n
blamed idiot would act like that
burglar!"
Those were unfortunate words for
him. For no sooner had he delivered
himself of this caustic and unmerited
aspersion on my powers of character
ization than I sallied forth with blood
in my usually tranquil eye. Ho
reached as If for his pistol. "Cut it out
quick!" I snapped, with as much in
clslveness and determination as a mild
and peaceable author could reasonably
be expected to muster. Then I picked
up his gun and plnced It In my pocket
after which I addressed myself again
to my burglar. "Now, my good friend,"
I said, pleasantly, "seeing that you
have expressed dissatisfaction nt my
conception of your calling, I shall be
Indeed grateful to you if you will give
me some idea of what a true burglar Is
like. You will find my fountain pen an
exceptionally smooth writer."
The burglar regarded me for a mo
ment with puzzled face. "I'm not a
burglar any more than you are!" he
then said, with a short, snappj- laugh.
His statement almost made me drop
my pistol. 'But I never took my eyes
off him. Then a sudden idea occurred
to me. "Take off youi mask!" I
commanded.
Off came the black cloth. One look
at that thin, scarred face, with its
crooked mouth and restless, shifty blue
eyes, convinced me that if ever a
burglor lived, here was a choice speci
men. But I determined to humor him.
"That may be," I said. "At any rate,
will you have the kindness to place on
paper and perhaps hand down to a
grateful generation of authors a true
description of the most exciting bur
glary you have ever committed?"
He looked at me in appnrent aston
ishment. "Why," he replied, smiling
broadly, "I'm a writer myself. I just
fixed up In these togs for a bluff. I'm
out for the same thing you are. I
thought tills old place was deserted.
That's why I came here. I'm an Am
herst man," he said, with a tinge of
pride that was either real or else ex
ceedingly well done. "Class of ninety
four." But the farce had proceeded far
enough.
. "Will you kindly explain to me in
what way you expect your literary
experience to be enriched by purloin
ing my watch?" I asked, politely, wish
ing to bring matters to .a head.
For reply the burglar sprang at me.
,Bnt 1 had seen his sharp eyes moos-1
urlng the distance between himself and
my pistol-baud, and I was prepared.
Springing back quickly, I avoided
his grasp, nnd dealt him a chopping
blow on the head with my heavy pistol.
He went down like a log.
I was sincerely sorry thnt the neccs
slty for violence should hnve arisen
and up to a certain point in our inter
view I had even hoped that I was
about to secure some bits of realism
that would be real contributions to
the common literary fund. But as mat
ters now stood, tliere seemed but one
thing to do. Ha I bound the burglar
hand nnd foot with some rather feeble
looking rope that I found In tho close!
where I had been hiding. Then going
to the window, I blew shrilly upon the
police whistle with which, In my stren
uous endeavor to attain the realistic
atmosphere, I had previously equipped
myself. Before many minutes a couple
of blue-coats were on the scene and a
little later the patrol wagon was clat
tering over the pavement with my
burglar inside. At that moment he
probably did not know just what was
going on. No doubt, Jiowever, tho true
situation occurred to him Inter.
And now for the sequel which con
cerns Itself with the fate of the manu
script and of the burglar. The fato
of the manuscript, like that of the
burglar, was cruel. After many trips
across the continent. It was flnaUy ac
corded nn entire pigeon-hole In my
desk, where It will probably rest to the
end of my days. And tho question of
why nn unavailable manuscript should
bo preserved nnd given an entire
pigeon-hole brings me to the second
part of my sequel. Shortly after the
arrest of the burglar he was identified
ns one Nicholas Ware, a man wanted
by the police In half a dozen cities.
The aggregate reward offered for his
arrest amounted to some two thousand
dollars, nnd as the chief of police was
a man of small experience in such mat
ters, we divided the money.
All of which, I humbly submit,
merely goes to show thnt the pen is
mightier thnn the Jimmy. The Ar
gonaut. Ilrare Man 1'apa.
Evelyn is the little (laughter of a
Marshall County family, relates the
Chicago Chronicle. Sho Is very timid.
Her father, finding that sympathy only
Increased this unfortunate tendency,
decided to have a serious talk with his
little daughter on the subject of her
foolish fears.
"Pupa," she said, nt the close of his
lecture, "when you see a cow ain't
you 'frald?"
"No; certainly not, Evelyn."
"When you see a horse ain't you
'frald V"
"No, of course not?"
"When you see a dog ain't you
'frald?"
"No!" with emphasis.
"When you see a bumblebee ain't yon
fraid?"
"No!" with scorn.
"Ain't yon 'frald when It thunders?"
"No!" with loud laughter. "Oh, you
silly child."
'Tnpn," sold Evelyn, solemnly, 'ain't
you 'frald of nothiu' in the world but
mamma?"
An Irving Story,
Sir Henry Irving tells that at one
time visiting Shakespeare's birthplace
he had a slight experience with a rus
tic of the vicinity. Being in a quizzi
cal frame of mind, Sir Henry addressed
a few questions to the fellow, nnd in
reply obtained some illuminating in
formation, according to the Buffalo
Commercial.
"That's Shakespeare's house over
there, I believe," Sir Henry innocently
remarked.
"Ees."
"Have you ever been there?"
"Noa."
"I believe Mr. Shakespeare is dead
now. Cnn you tell mo how long?"
"Dunno."
"Let's see, he wrote, did he not?"
"Oh, yes, he did summnt."
"What was it he wrote?"
"Well, I think it was the Boible."
Meaning of Storthtns;.
The storthing, which has deposed
King Oscar from theNorweglan throne,
Is, being Interpreted, the Great Court,
and should be pronounced to rhyme
with "courting." The second part of
the word is identical with our "thing,"
however, as the Scandinavian lan
guages, in common with Anglo-Saxon,
have the same word for "thing" nn?
"eotinc'l." In modern English a trad
of the second sense survives in tbi
word "hustings," which came to meat
the public platform upon which a cari
didnte appeared at election timcj
though originally the "busting" wnl
the council at which the candidate war
selected, the "house-thing" or houst
council.
BuwDors a Fly Light?
"It's odd," sold 'the casual diner it
the quick lunch restaurant, to hil
neighbor, a stranger, "and it's an ol
query, but did you ever stop to thlnll
how It is that a fly lights on the ceil
Ing? Now, a fly, you know, natural
flies with his legs hanging down. II
flies from the table, for Instnnce. ftp U
the ceiling nnd there he halts for a
moment to wash his face, but presto,
he is upside down.. How does he da
It? Does he grab hold with his front
hands and swing himself under? Does
he do n corkscrew curve nnd catch
with all fours, or sixes? Or how does
he do it." New York Tress.
The Professional Gossip. I
In Arabln the trade of "gosslper" has
many followers. The "gossiper" col
lects nil the news, tittle-tattle, Jokes
and stories he cau get hold of, and then
goes from house to house retailing
them. If he has a good manner, and
can adapt his recitals to his audiences,
be makes a very fair Income.
Plucl cmH debenture.
A STHANflM FOCK ET BOO K.
AltAII CALDWELL was a
llilln frld tlilffitoti rmi fa ,.1,1
I when, toward the close of
W I the Civil War. she hud a
perilous drive, nnd yet one
which I nm sure any of you
boys and girls would envy' her. One
night, after she hnd prepared her los
sons for the next girl and hnd little
thought of any adventure It might bold
in store for her, her father asked,
"Well, little woman, how would you
like to drive with me to-morrow to
Louisville?"
Now, lionlRvllle was thirty miles
from the little Kentucky lown In which
they lived, and tliere was at that time
no railroad between the two places.
The drive Was one full of danger,
Sarah knew, for the guerillas, a des
perate band of plunderers and high
waymen, who did so in mil harm during
the war, were constantly waylaying
travelers, robbing banks and raiding
the little tswns. So when her father
propositi the drive her feelings were
a mixture of surprise, doubt and (lc
llghr. Our little heroine was always
ready for adventure; and having the
greatest confidence In her father's abil
ity to defend her, If necessary, she
seized the chance to go to the city with
him. She cared not to know his er
rand, but felt instinctively that it was
nn Important one, for he was a busy
lawyer, n judge and president of the
bank of their town.
So, unqiifRtloiiMhly, Sarah prepared
that night to stnrt enrly the next morn
ing. She noticed her mother was unus
tiolly busy sewing on the dress she was
to wear, although she knew of no
stitches necessary to be made on It.
Yet she did not wonder, but with child
ish confidence of the coming day's
pleasure. You children who travel so
frequently these days, In which trains
run everywhere nt nil times, cannot
appreciate tho keen delight of a boy
or girl forty years ago, whose trips
from homo were red-letter days.
Tho next morning found Sarali up
for nn early start. It was Ialo spring
nnd the dsy o glorious one. The drive
lay over the "State Tike," and led past
grassy Acids and woods full of great
beech nnd oak trees, whose tender
green leaves were peeping forth. The
country is so exquisitely run in Ins; that
often nt the top of a gently sloping lint
high hill o great panorama of benuly
lay before them. Along the roadside
ran gray stone fences, and now and
then an only chipmunk would bob up
from n crevice between the stones and,
scurrying along, disappear as If by
magic. Tho noisy blucjiiys were dis
cordantly crying in the trees, and the
busy woodpeckers industriously ham
mering, while from time to time a gor
geous red bird would fly by, nnd nil
Ihe birds seemed Inspired by tho splen
dor of the morning to sing their sweet
est. Wnlchlng eagerly nil this, and un
heeding n;iy danger that might He in
their way," our travelers reached Bos
ton Tavern, midway between tliatr
town nnd Louisville. It still stands at
the foot of Boston Hill, and Is n long,
low, ra milling structure, closely re
senililing the Inns of old England.
Tliere excitement reigned. The stage
coach stood nt the door, and its pas
sengers were telling of nn attack ninde
on them n few miles back by a band of
guerillas who hnd stolen their money,
watches and the mail carried by the
conch. Here Sarah's courage wavered,
for she had heard so much of these
terrible men. l'.nt on her filler's reas
suring her that they would be too busy
escaping after this robbery to moles!
them, she was eager to start again.
He must have felt great uneasiness,
but his dughler felt that her father
wns oil bravery nnd that nothing could
harm her under his core.
And nothing dkl harm them, although
along the path through a big woods lay
mail strewn by the escaping guerillas.
They reached Louisville lu safety. In
spite of the fact thnt they were to be
there but for the day, Sarah's father
took her to a hotel. On reaching their
room, he gravely told her to take off
her dress; and not being hecustomed
to questioning him, she wonderlngly
obeyed. Reaching ont his band for the
dress nnd opening his knife, he began
to rip the skirt from Its lining; and to
our little lady's astonished eyes ap
peared bank note after bank note,
mounting to thousands of dollars. Her
mother had carefully sewed them in
her skirt the night before, that the
money which her father had to take
from his bank for deposit in the city
might be carried in safety from the
guerillas.
This was the end of nn adventure,
hut the very beginning of a romance;
for that day Sarah met the young man
whom In nfter years she married; nnd
the long drive, which might very easily
have proved so disastrous to her. was
In the end worth a good husband and
many years of happiness. From Mary
Caldwell Laurens' "A Strange rocket
book," in St. Nicholas.
KILL WHALES WITH LANCES.
The tug Wyadda has arrived at Neah
Bay with a whale captured yesterday
ten miles off Flattery by six cnnoelonds
of Ncnh Bay Indians. When the Wy
adda reached the Indians they were
killing the monster with lances.
Another tugboat had been lying by
during the chase, which was a long
one. Members of the crew state that
it , was, a most interesting sight to
watch the maneuvers of the Indians
and the great dexterity with which
they handled their frail craft in the
nasty sea, several cjnoes being fast
L
m m
ened to the shale., The levlnthsn's
wild plunges till but swamped them.
Tacoma Correspondence Los Angeles
Times.
LIONS AT THE DOOIt.
News Is nt hand from two Independ
ent sources, says South A Men, of nn
extraordinary adventure that recently
befell Mr. Dlckert, n farmer living
nhout fifteen miles from Mnllndl Sid
ing. Mr. Illckert went to bed at ten
o'clock, and was just going to sleep
when he heard what he thought was
a pig grunting and snlllliig outsldo the
door.
lie got up nnd stepped outside to call
his dogs, when he wns seized by a
lion. He shouted, and Mrs. Dlckert
ran out with n rifle, with which she
lilt the animal on the bend and caused
it to loose Its hold.
Mr. Dlckert Immediately snatched at
the rifle nnd fired poliitliloiik. Fortun
ately, be killed the lion at the first
shot. TIip whole affair wns over In a
few seconds, nnd occurred close to the
bedroom door, where the hungry ani
mal bad evidently been waiting. Mr.
Dlckert was badly scratched, and his
arm was lacerated where the lion
seized him.
The people nt Mnllndl Siding have
been nnnoyed by a Hon that developed
the habit of coming close to the sta
tion, and wns heard In the neighbor
hood of the railway men's bouse. A
short time ago the conductor of the
Falls train nnd several of tho passen
gers sow two young Hons playing be
tween the rails near the (Jwiinl.
Farther up the line, in the direction
of the Zambezi, the Hons appear to be
much more numerous. Not long ago
the native commissioner nt Mntetsl Is
reported to hnve lost fifteen bend of
live stock .which bad been killed In
broad daylight by nine Hons which
were hunting together.
MAN-EATING TIKE.
Dr. 0. V. A. Itohertson, of Pickering,
reports: "On Saturday I received a
call to visit the son of a farmer. The
mcsRage was: 'The lad has been bitten
by n fish.' On my arrival I found the
lad RiitTerlng from a severe wound of
(lie right foot, which required several
stitches. On making Inquiries I wns
told the lad had been bathing, along
with two others. In the River Levn,
which runs near to the farm nt Sin
iiington, nnd on getting out of the
water lie sat on tho bank, s lads are
wont to do, when suddenly a large
fish jumped out of the water on to
the bank, seized the Ind by the foot and
jumped in ngain. Tho distance from
(lie water to tho edge of the bank was
quite two feet and the lad's foot was
three feet from the edge of the bank.
A lady who wns passing and heard his
cries went to .his assistance and car
ried him home, ns the font wns bleed
ing profusely, A gentleman who stays
nt the farm nnd is nn enthusiastic
nngl(r, nsked to be shown the place,
nnd said lie would try to catch the
fish. On taking his fishing tackle he
hnd the gratification of cntching the
fish In a few minutes with nn artificial
bait. It turned out to be n fine pike,
measuring two feet one and one-half
Inches long, nnd weighing Rix pounds.
'There can be no doubt,' adds the doc
tor, 'ns to the truth of the occurrence,
for I not only saw the lnd and the fish,
but I nlso saw the fish measured and
the gentleman who caught It.' "York
shire Tost.
LASSOED A BIO RATTLESNAKE.
W. B. Edwards, a Shoal Creek farm.
er, came to Joplln with n four and a
half foot black diamond rattlesnake In
n frail Avomlrn box covered with win.
(low seivciilng nnd treated the vicious
reptile in n spirit of friendliness thnt
caused more cautious people to shud
der. "I caught the snake yesterday after
noon by lassoing it," said Edwards.
"My sister-iil-law wns walking along
a path when the snake struck nt her.
It wns coiled up In the grass along
side the path. It sets Its fangs Into
her dress nnd fell bnck to the ground.
This attracted her attention nnd she
called to me ti come nnd kill It. She
was carrying a little child in her arms
nt tlie time.
"I saw what It wn. nnd had my sis
ter get out of the way, as it was pre
paring to strike her again, and then I
got a little rope nnd made a lasso,
which I dropped over Its head. It was
easy after that, and I Just set my foot
on its neck, reached down with n nnlr
of pincers and pulled out its fangs.
Don t yon want to buy it?" he added to
the stream of questions fired by each
interrogator.
Edwards appeared to have no fear
of the snnke. Failing to find a nr.
chnser, he sought to effect a bargain
ny giving the crowd a better view of
his snakeshin. He deliberated lifted
one of the boards from the top of the
uox, exposing his hand and wrist to
the lightning stroke of the
the reptile chosen. Evidently his faith
in the tooth pulling was perfect. But
as the lid was raised, and the snake
twlsteu nround into position to strike,
forming the coil that has meant the
death of hundreds of people, the crowd,
not having the same faith, drew bnck
In apprehension of nn attack. But the
snake made no effort to leave the box.
The snake is a splendid specimen of
the black diamond rattler. It measures
four and n half feet In length and is
larger thnn a man's wrist. Nine rattles
and a button constitute the rattle box
attachment, showing the age of the
reptile to be ten years. Last year
Mr. Edwards killed a diamond rattler
on his farm that measured six and a
halt feet In length nnd had sixteen
rattles. Joplln (Mo.) Globe.
An ingenious Greene County (Mo.)
farmer has rigged his farm wagon up
with a gasoline motor, and runs into
Springfield several times a week auto
style.
EFFECT OF WEALTH OM LEARNING.
A brilliant and learned prof.
Became of great wealth the poss.
Said the voters in town.
"Give a job to l'rof. Brown;"
So now he s become an
Puck.
AN IMPORTANT STEP.
Elln "I suppose May Is busy prepar
ing for her wedding."
Emily "Oh, yes. She has just se
lected her advertising ngent."
IMPRUDENT.
Ethel "Is she very extravagant?"
Helen "Yes, Indeed. She spends so
much money that she sometimes has
little or nothing left for her complex
Ion." YES, THEY KNOW!
Bertha "He had the Insolence to
Imprint a kiss upon my lips."
Ethel-"But then that kind of print
ing doesn't show, you know." Boston
Transcript.
ONE THING LACKING.
"There goes a man who says he has
the key to the situation."
"Yes; he was in here a while ago,
trying to borrow a dollar to get the
lock!"-Atlanta Constitution.
A GOOD THING.
Mrs. Hicks 'John, I'm sure there's a
burglar down In the dining room."
Mr. Hicks (sleepIly)-"Good! If we
keep quiet maybe he'll take away thnt
chafing-dish of yours." Philadelphia
Press.
A MEAN ADVANTAGE.
Mrs, Jones (reading) "A man in
Ohio sells his wife to a blind peddler
for ten cents. Isn't that awful?"
Mr. Jones "It certainly is anybody
who will stick a blind mun is no good."
-Puck.
NO REASON FOR PRIDE.
Fuddy "Don't you think Frost rath
er opinionated?"
Duddy "I don't see why he should
be. He Is one of the chief men In the
Weather Bureau, you know." Boston
Transcript
THE TALE OF A DOO.
I'fo bo continued.)
Philadelphia Record.
PREFERS A HEAVY TOMBSTONE.
Mrs. Hanks "What sort of tomb
stone shall we get for dear mother
something elaborate or a plain one?"
Mr. Hanks "Well, I think some
tiling good nnd heavy will be best."
Cleveland Leader,
HE WAS SATISFIED.
Sister "What! You engaged to
Miss Prettyun? Why, she has no fam
ily tree."
Brother "Oh, I guess she has and
Judging from her appearance it must
be a peach!" Columbus Dispatch.
IN OTHER WORDS.
"Those who dance," remarked the
man with the quotation habit, "must
pay the fiddler!"
"Or, in other words," said the grass
widower, with a sigh, "those who wed
must pay alimony." Chicago News.
SOMETHING SUBSTANTIAL.
She "Do you go to the opera much?"
He "Never."
"But I understand your wife to say
you were passionately fond of Italian
productions?"
"So am I. I love macaroni." Chi
cago Journal.
MIGHT HAVE WON MORE.
"And you promised me you would
never speculate again."
"I know It, but it was such a temp
tation. I bought steel at sixty rnd
sold at sixty-eight."
"Oh, Algernon, how could yon; it
went to seventy -three. "Brooklyn Life.
- TnE INEVITABLE FRONT.
"I wonder why it is that we are al
ways short of money?"
"That's easy, my dear. Because,
whenever we get prosperous in one
home, you always Insist on our moving
to a more expensive one and living be
yond our means."
"But hww can we be happy other
wise?" Life.
THE KINDEST THING.
Ranter "I thought this paper was
friendly to me?"
Editor "So it is. What's the matter
now?"
Ranter "I made a speech at the ban
quet last night and you don't print a
line of it"
Editor "Well? What further proof
did you want of our friendship?"
Philadelphia Fress.
Q MoDONAU.
4TT0RNETATLAW.
Notary lull!. rstl fiun agent, Pateasi
-cured, enlrtinn n 'le .rmptlr OsaSt
In ?o linata building, KarnaHsTllls, Pa.
Jjll. B. S. DUOVKH.
RKVNOLIiBVILJ.B, PA.
Rratrlant 1Mli. ( ih Bnnrr katMiat
J)R. X L. MEANS,
DENTIST.
Office on second floor of First Ks
atonal bank building, Main strest.
J)R. B. DKVERB KINO,
DENTIST.
Office on second floor Reynoldsrfn
Real Estate Building,. Main street.
KnynoldsvUle, Pa.
J NEFF,
JUSTICE OF THE PEACH
Aud Real Estate Agent.
Reyno!dviln, Pa,
gMITH M. McCREIGHT,
ATTORNBY-AT-LAW.
Stnury Puhllo and Has! Estate Afiata. M
tactions will snonlTn prom 1. 1 attention. Offloa
In the KornoldKTllla Ilanlwara Co. Bulldlaf,
Main slraet, HfjnoUiTllle. ra.
PITT8BUR0.
Grain, Flour and Feed.
Wht No. red I 75 SO
Hjn No. 3 S
Corn Nn 2 ynllow, mr (II t,i
No. tl jxilow, ahxlled Si f.l
Mlixd nar 4 4
Oats No. white ro 81
No. H white to m
Flour Winter patent Hi S 10
Fancy ntralvhl winters "Hi ft C0
Hay No. I Timothy 18 fl i 14 l
( IcTrr No. 1 11 00 II 80
Feed No. 1 white mid. Ion 1ft M SO O'l
Hrown middlings IS 50 170
Bran, hulk 11 r.o 17 W
fliraw Wheat 5i) 7 00
Uat tU 7 00
Dairy Products.
Butter Eltrln e'eamery I
Ohio creamery ! W
Fancy country roll IS H
ChreKe Ohio, new II IS
New York, new 11 IS
Poultry, Etc.
(Tens per lb I II IV
Chlfkene dreneed al IS
Eggs Pa. and Ohio, Ireab 19 81
Fruits and Vegetables.
Apples bhi ( si gnr
I'otatoeH Fancy while per nu.... bo fii
Cahbnge per ton m no SI IO
Onions per barrel 4 50 j ou
BALTIMORE.
Flour Winter Patent t im S r
Wheat No. 3 red gq 94
t,'orn Mixed f
Eirirs........ , ,8
liut.or Ohio creamory yo tt
PHILADELPHIA.
Flour Winter Patent I 5 so 57s
Wheat No. red go j 01
Corn No. 'i mixed 51) 51
Outs No. a white jja 37
Butter Creamery so iu
Eggs Pennsylvania firsts js jr
NEW YORK.
Flour Patents I SO) 89
Wheat-No. red 10 1 f
Corn No. S
Oat No. 8 white D7 W
Butter Creamery 0 S
KgB State and Pennsylvania.... 17' IS
LIVE STOCK.
Union Stock Yards, Pittsburg.
Cattle.
Extra. HSO to inno lbs 5S5 5
Crime, 1300 to 1400 lbs oil 6 :V
Medium, 1200 to 1200 lbs. 4 SO b 10 '
Tidy, IOTiO to 1160 440 4K
Butcher. KlO to 1100 400 470
Common to air 8S0 875
Oien, common to fat 7.i 400
Common tog-ood fat bulls and cows n 830
M Ik b cow a, each 1800 45 DO
Hobs.
I' rime heavy bofs $ in
prune medium weights IM thf,
Bett heavy yorkers and medium. 8 50 65
'ood pigs and lightyorkers 6 70 5 7j
Pigs, common to good 4 70 4 Ho
Houghs 87 41(j
o'ess 835 85o s
Sheep. v
'r I 6 S3 8 40
ood to choice soo 515.
Medium 47.5 600
Common to fair., J.V1 400
Lambs 5 50 soo
Cslvea.
Veal, extra 500 TM
Veal, good to choice IU 450
Vtai, common heavy 8JJ 87
rr.OMIXEXT TEOPLE.
King Leopold will leave a fortune ot
$10,000,000.
Admiral Togo draws a salary of
$3000 a year.
Cliauncey Depew Is said t te a suc
cessful horticulturist.
Tlie Kaiser owns eight automobiles,
all big touring cars.
Enron Haynslii is understood to be
a Bood liorse trader.
King Alphnnso of Spain draws a
salary of $1,400,000 a year.
William Jennings Bryan is to makfr
a two-years' trip around tbe globe. '
Emperor William bns done almost
everything except to edit a daily paper.
King Edward receives daily, no
fewer than 3'KH) newspapers and 1000
letters.
Faul rorton sc the new head of
the Equitable Life will receive fSO.OOO
a year salary.
John Tierpont Morgan's recent tour
In Italy partook of the nature ot a
royal progress.
William McKinley and W. T.
Walsh were playmates iu Ohio aud
went to the same school.
King Edward sent a magnificent
wreath for the ftinerai of the victims
of the French submarine disaster.
On his recent visit to Taris the Shah
of Fersia was fanned, night and day.
by relays of perspiring attendants.
Frince Henry of Prussia has just
purchased for .SoO.OOO tUroijgh an
agent a wonderful Maine tourmaline.
It is a curious fact that Mr.' Gully,
former Speaker of the r.ritish House
of Coinuious, at one time was very
despondent as to his future.
Governor Folk, . the terror of the
Missouri boodlers. is described as bc
Ins a rather small man with n round,
big head, snapping eyes and thin lips,
closing tightly over a wide ;trs:.ht
auoulh.