SUCCESS 18 LIKE
Siicppm U like A fur-off hill,
Serenely wreathed In mellow n?",
It loom there, dim nml illnlnnt, still
When, after inntiv trying dti.vs,
With waning hopes nnd shuttered will,
We lift our weary heads ami guze.
And like Mm fnr-off lilll thnt through
The softening Unzo shows gem li' Mopes,
The clouds oft hide It from lit view
Thtit in the ilnrkeni l vnllcv propci
The. roudwlnds much In lending to
Thu lulit whereon ho at Is Ins hopes.
-3. K
I MABEL versus
By CHARLOTTE
It vm Mat Bronson who put the lde
Into our . heads which, Indoed, were
ready enough to receive It. I knew
that Mat wes crois thnt nfternon
JuBt by the way he slammed his wheel
gainst the veranda and came charg
ing up the s'.eps.
"See here, Molly," w9 his only
greeting, always having lived next
door, he Is not always very ceremoni
ous, "why don't you girls take the
nonsense out of Mabel Rogers?
I asked him, "What nonsense?" I
knew well enough, but Mat has such
an exasperating way of brenklng Into
subject!
"Don't be unnecessary denso," was
all the satisfaction I received. "I tell
you, Molly, I'm sick of Mabel's city
airs and affectations, and so are all
the other fellows. They're all begin
ning to keep shy of her."
It was wicked of mo, but I could
not resist.
"And yet," I said, "when Mr. Matth
ew Bronson came home from college,
about two weeks ago, ho paid It was
refreshing to find one really stunning
girl in town n girl with fome style
and manner, a girl who knew what
was what. And he considered It such
a pity that the rest of tho Harwich
girls couldn't visit somebody In New
York, and"
But that was as far as I got, for Mat
was fairly snorting something about
Its being Just like a girl to remember
everything a fellow ever Bald, and
rake It up after he had changed his
mind.
Then, when he felt a little more
comfortable, he said he thought It was
somebody's duty to make Mabel "cut
it out," as he expressed It. Her fath
er did not care to, It s?emcd, and her
aunt did, not dare to, so he thought it
was left for us his sister Nell and
me as Mabel's most Intimate friends.
Bhe was too fine a girl to be spoiled
by such silliness, if It were one of
the boys, now, the other boys would
"take it out of hira mighty quick!"
Nell had come upon tho veranda dur
ing the oration, and she asked Mat,
sarcastically, what method he would
suggest Would he advise us to p:t
Mabel on the floor and sit on her until
she promised to be nice and natural
again? She believed that was the us
ual mode of procedure with boys.
But Matthew only shook his head
and hinted dnrkly that girls had
"ways;" he did not know how they
did things, but he knew they did. He
could not tell, for instance, how they
had made Ned Bates slop smoking
but they had.
Nell guve me a funny little look and
cald that she guessed Ned could not
tell, either, nnd I hurried to ask If
Mabel had been doing anything new
and striking. She was certainly inter
esting in those, days.
"I was over there a little while ago,"
said Mat, "to see if sho would go to
Edith's party with me. That new maid
held me up at the door for a card
wouldn't let me in without It, either
and ordered mo to walk Into the
'drawing room' while sho took the card
to Miss Mabcllo. Mabel had eccu mo
from tho window too."
"Oh," I interrupted, "did you hear
bow sho tried, to make Timothy wear
livery whon ho took tho horses out?
Fancy It Old Tlm! Of course he
wouldn't, and for onco Mr. Rogers in
terfered. He said that ho would pay
the extra maid and change his dinner
hour end call her Mabello, but ho
wouldn't ot her niahe a fool of Tlm,
too."
Mat raid, "Good for him! I didn't
know he had tho spirit."
Then he told how ha asked Mabel to
ro to the party, and sho wanted to
know If he did not think that sort of
thing "so country." Mat asked her
what sort of thing, and she said, think
ing you must always go to places with
boys. And her aunt preferred her to
Co Just with ono of the maids.
Then Mat had scJd things. Ho told
her that was all right in a city, but in
the country, where they have been
neighbors all tfcoir lives, it wca sim
ply ridiculous. He finished by telling
her that she could go with ono of the
maids until the ond of her days, so far
as Mr. Matthew Bronson was concern
ed. .Then Mabel told him not to act
like a small bcry, and be came away.
Nell and I screamed. To be called
a small boy is so Irritating when one
Is! And Vat is undeniably undersized.
But he did not sse the cause of our
mirth. He said severely:
"It's all very well to laugh, hut I
think It's your duty to make ber drop
tt, if you can. You think it over."
So Nell and I thought it over. To
tall the truth, we felt flattered by
Hat's conOdencs In our power to do
something, and we agreed with him
In thinking that something ought to be
dona
Mabel Rogers usod to he considered
the prattlost. brightest, moat popular
girl in town before aha went to visit
ber New York cousins; but that visit
nearly spoiled ber. When she came
back ber aim la Ufa was to look and
A DISTANT HILL.
Tho lilll that looms before its, fnr
Away iutom the misty space,
Pli'im"nnt. n imp nor hrctik to miir
The even liimntv of Hit face,
But. when wn renc'h It innny n sear
And cleft It rough steeps liiterlnce.
Silve In like the hill wp fro
Kitr off, v Ihtp might v river spring,
Ami few Hint rem-li It w nlt for free,
l-nii- ilnys tlm tnt lire l to luliigi
It 111 not I'umi' to u, 'tin we
'I hut Imvu to ilo the traveling.
KImi', In The Chicago Ucoord-llcrnld.
MABELLE. I
SEOOWICK.
act and talk llko the city girls she hud
mot, nml of course she overdid It, No
city girl ever would have recognized
herself as tho original of Mabel's ex
aggmiied Imitation.
Sho wore her pompadour about three
sizes too big; her manner was all
"gush," and her affected way of talk
ing made it a standing John In town
that "Mabel Rogers went to New York
on the cars; Akibolle Wogehrs came
back fwom New Ynwk on tho enhs."
What Mabel needed most, I think,
was a brother. I have noticed that
the girls who have brothers are
not so apt to get silly little airs and
affectations as other girls are. I have
often wished I had a brother, but Mat
does very well. Ho keeps me supplied
with many ot ho comforts of one, par
ticularly In the matter of frank crit
Icsm. Nell and I thought It oil over for
several days. We thought hnrd. It
takes hnrd thinking, 1 nave discovered,
to find a really successful way of not
mlmling your own business. In tne end,
I am sura wo would have given tt up
If Noll had not had an Idea In Latin.
She Is always having ideas in Latin.
She hnd this one while we were read
ing In tho hammock one afternoon, and
she gave a little bounce that made the
hammock flop nnd throw us out on the
ground. Our hammock has tho flop
piest disposition, anyhow.
Then, whllo we sat there on the
ground, weak from laughing, she ex
plained that sho had the loveliest Idea.
1 said It seemed to have quite upset
her, but she utterly euubbed my poor
pun.
"I Just found it in this book," she
went on. 'Slmllla slmllibus curantur.
I wonder we didn't think of it before."
"Translate it," I said. I never havo
Ideas In Latin myself.
"And you expect to enter college this
fall!" Nell said, significantly. "Llko
cures like,' of course, my dear. I've
heard it somewhtre before," she added,
honestly.
"You mean " I began.
"Exactly," Nellie assured me. "We'll
Just try being affected ourselves, and
lot Mabel see how sill- It Is."
I had my doubts. I said that Mabel
would be mere likely to see that wo
were Just rudo, end perhaps we would
only offend her Instead of reforming
her. Mother agreed with mo, too. She
advised us. If W3 really felt called on
to mend Mabel's ways, to tell her
frankly what W3 thought, Instead of
using a method that was so likely to
be misunderstood.
But Nell and I agreed that we did
not have tho 'courage to do that, and
besides, this other way would be more
fun. Mother smiled and did not say
any more. She never uags, and she
never says, "I told you eo, my dear!"
She Just lets mj find out a good many
things for myself.
So Noll and I spent sovcral days In
learning how to do It. We studied
Mabel prettly closely, and I confess I
had a kind of sneaking feeling, for
flie Is one of the Bweetest, frankest,
most generous girls I ever Kuow.
But at last we considered our edu
cation completed, and ono afternoon wo
started out, with trailing skirts bor
rowed and absurdly fccpompr.doured
heads, to make a formal call on Mabel.
We flattered ourselves that wo had ac
quired tho correct accent, and our man
ner was affected to a point several de
grees above Mabel's. We tried It on
Mat before wo started and he uoarly
had a fit.
At Mabel's house we usually waik
right In and announce ourselves, but
this afternoon wo rang tho bell and
brought Meg.ito with her tray. I know
she was surprised, but sho was "game,"
as Mat would have said.
As we gravely presented our card9
nr.d asked for "Miss Wogehrs and Mlsa
Mabcllc," her face was as expression
less as if wo were perrect strangers.
She quietly showed us Into the parlor
and went to "tell the ladles." She came
back in a minute to say that Miss
Rogers was out, but Miss Mabelle
would be down in a minute.
Noll and I wonderod afterward if she
gave Mabol a hint. We have never
found out.
Perhap3 our sending in cards warned
Mabel. At any rate, when she came in
to the parlor nothing in her manner
euggosted that thore was anything un
usual about us. She had played tennis
with us all the morning, too.
She said, "Aunty will be so sorry to
miss your call! How do you do, Mary
and Helen?"
Then she shook hands with us both,
explaining how glad she was to see us,
and bow long it was since we had met.
She was simply delicious, and for
a moment Nell and I were staggered.
We thought we were ready for any
thing, but this perfect composure near
ly routed us.
Then Nell rallied and "went Into
action." Nell Bronson Is nothing If
not thoroughgoing, and she Is a born
actress. It was the funniest thing I
ever saw those two girls matching
their Imitation city manners against
each other. I stayed out, for the most
part. I bad all I could do to keep
from laughing and spolHng It all; and
besides, fell did not need any help.
They talked about the weather; about
Edith's party, which Mabel pronounc
ed a "charming bit of local color, but.
.so country, you know." Then she de
scribed a party she had attended In
New York.
Nell said, feelingly, that It must be
trrlbly stupid to live In a country
town whon one was used to tho city,
Mabel said It was oh, unspeakably
Rttipldt (Sho had been In New York
Just five weckn! ) There was no society
In Harwich. Of course there were nice
people, but no society. Nobody knew
how to entertain, except, perhaps, Mrs.
Merlwenther, and site really was a
New Yorker.
So those girls went on, nnd I think
they would hr.vo kept It up Indefinitely
only 1 rose to go, fairly bursting with
swallowed laughter. Nell got up, too,
and Mabel.
" Must you go?" she said. "But you
will come again? Mary, love, pardon
me, but your hat Is a bit too far for
ward. Do you mind If I fix It? There!
Really, ono needs to have lived In a
city to get things Just right."
Then she asked us if we would let
her show us some day how to do our
hair. And Bhe insisted on showing
Nell how to put her belt on "the new
way." And aa wa started down the
steps sho offered suggestions about the
"correct wny" of holding up our skirts,
which Nell and I hnd caught up any
how, to keep from falling all over the
miserable things.
I watched Maoel closely to see If she
mennt mischief, but her face was as In
nocent as a baby's. She seemed to be
doing it all out of the kindness of her
heait. She honestly wanted to help, I
thought, and sho appeared positively
flattered by our wanting to bo like her!
Tho noblo Duke of York, or whoever
tt. was, who marched up tho hill and
then marched down again, has my sym
pathy. I know exnetly how he felt.
Nell nnd I felt llko that when we
marched down tho hill from Mabel's.
We camo away In good order, how
ever. Wo did not run until wo were
round the corner; and then we did not
stop running until we were safe In
Nell's llttlo "den," where we dropped
on tho divan and proceeded to have
hysterics, all by ourselves, as we sup
posed. nut In a minute we henrd Mat polite
ly Inquiring from the door If he could
be of any assistance, and In tho next
breath Impolitely advising us to "stop
snorting" and tell him what tho "row"
was.
Nell sat up, mopping her eyes, and
tried to explain. "O-M-Mat," she
choked, "It's the f-funnlest thing! Ma
bol never Eaw tho p-p:lnt! She thought
we really wanted to be 1-liko her. Mol
ly, I shall die!" and she collapsed
again.
"Hurrah for Mabel! She's all right!"
was the only sympathy that we got
from Matthew. "Of course she was Just
blufllng you, and It serves you riptt!
Girls never can mind their own lusl
noss, anyhow. They're all the time
meddling."
That brought Nell and me to In a
hurry. We started for that wretched
boy, but ho waa too quick for us. Ho
dodgod Into his room and locked the
door, so we had to content oursmves
with 'telling him through the keyhole
our opinion of boys In general and of
Matthew Bronson in particular.
Noll said It waa Just llko a boy, any
way. If you took his advice and suc
ceeded, ho was a wonder; If you failed,
you woro a meddler.
Oh, we said several things, nnd we
could have said many more, only be
fore we camo to them somebody ran
up t'jo stairs and distracted our atten
tion. It was Mabol.
"I'vo come to return your call,
girls," sho said, "and I couldn't wait
tD Bend up cards."
Noll and I Just stared. She was
speaking In her old, natural way, and
somehow I know she had boen crying.
"I want to toll you that I'm very
grato.'ul to you," she went on. "I was
furious at first, fcr I think It was a
pretty mean way of tolling mo that
I've been a goose, but I suppose I do-
j served it. Only, Instead of discussing
mo behind my back, and lotting me
' keep on being a goose so Ions, I think
! you might have told mo frankly."
j Then her voice began id tremblo and
sho stopped. Things looked pretty
squally, and Noll and I could not seem
to tli I nit of a thing to say. We Dim
ply stood there and folt mean. And
then suddenly tho door flow open and
that I) leased boy camo bouncing out.
I could havo hugged him!
"I beg to Inquire," he said; solemn
ly, "whether I have the pleasure of ad
dressing Miss Mabello Wogehrs or
Miss Mabol Rogers?"
"Mabel Rogers," Mabel said, laugh
ing. "I Just came back from Now
York this afternoon. Come on, Mat!
Let's show these little girls here how
tc play tennis. Go change your skirts,
my dears!"
Mabel is all right! Youth's Com
panion. King Edward's Power.
How can a monarch become efTtcl.
ent who is constliutionally'constralned
to Inefficiency? The kaiser can be
efficient, but would England tolerate
In her king the sort of efficiency that
Germany sustain at her kaiser's
hands ? The kaiser has some real
power. Tho king woll to be Bure,
the king has enormous social Influence
at home, and very Important personal
and official Influence with other mon
archs and heads of European govern
ments. Possibly King Edward could
stimulate efficiency In England if lie
bent blmself to the work a camel
may pass through the Needle's Eye
but It would be difficult. Casto, more
than royalty, Is hurting England. Tho
srlstocracy Is on trial more thar. thu
tbrona, Harper's Wekly.
THE CANAL A HARD TASK
DIFFICULTY THAT MUST BE
MET TO PIERCE THE ISTH
MUS. Labor Is Expensive and Must be Im
ported Nstlves Too Proud to Da
the Work Chinamen Cannot Stand
Climate West Indian Negroes the
Best.
M. K'.nlln Pernot. a French civil en-
glnoer, arrived here from Colon, Pnna-1
ma, on his way to his home In Quebec.
M. Pernot was ono ot the engineers
who helped the Panama railroad, as
he also did the Suez canal, being em
ployed for four years at the latter un
dertaking. In an interview M. Pernot
spoke of the difficulties that our en
gineers will have to contend with in
constructing tho Panama cancl.
"Now that tho canal Is really to be
built," ho said, "one of the first things
yop will have to look to will be the se
curing the right kind of labor. That
may seen rldlculounly easy thing to
get ct first thought, but when you
come to consider the terrible nature of
the climate at the isthmus you will
see where the difficulty may arise In
getting the right class of men that
It, men strong physically to withstand
the climatic conditions.
"To secure such men much higher
wages wll have to be paid them than
they make here at home. That Is an
Important matter for your government
V consider, because wages will be
the chief source oi expense In the con
struction cf the canal. If men were
hired Just as they come along, regard
less of their physical fitness, an enor
mous death rate may be expected
among them. Such a thing, however,
could be materially lessened If the
men were to bo first put through a
physical examination as to their abill
tv to combat a lever-ridden country.
Ycti see, most of the labor will havo
to be Imported from this country, be
cause If you were to employ native la
bor it Is doubtful it the canal would
ever be completed.
"Neither tho Colombians nor the
Isthmians will settle down to pick and
shovel. They have a keen dislike to
laborer's work nnd consider them
selves tar above such menial tasks.
Politics and revolutions are their
forte. Nevertheless they are experts
at handling their machetes und clear
ing bush and Jungle, and for these
put poses only they would be useful.
Chinamen are equally unsatisfactory,
if not mere so. They are not only
very expensive to hire at the Isthmus,
but thonr habits and customs preclude
them from hard and rough work.
"Tho number that succumbed dur
ing the construction of the Panama
railroad Is almost Incredible. It Is a
saying at the isthmus that 'every rail
way sleeper covers the dead body of
a Chinaman.' From what I saw I
don't think the estimate Is over much
exaggerated.
"The West Indian negro Is the only
laborer that would be fit for the heavy
work of digging tho canal. He Is han
dy with the pick and shovel and is
proof against yellow fever, which Is
the chief curse of the Isthmus. He
would, of course, havo to bo paid the
same wage as the white laborer, and
also kept separated In order to prevent
racial disturbances.
"Aside from the labor question," M.
Pernot continued, "thore will be many
almost insurmountable engineering
difficulties to contend with.
"Tho wcri of the Sues offorod no
such momentous obstacles as does the
Panama undertaking. For Instance,
In the cutting of the Suez canal there
were no marked differences In the.
lovels of the Mediterranean and tho
Red Seae, nor great variations In tho
rise and fall of their tides.
"With the Panama canal It Is Just
the other way, as the Pacific tides vary
In their tIbo and fall from 18 to 22 feet.
In order, therefore, to compoto with
that difficulty breakwaters ot great
strength and size will have to be
thrown up. At the Atlantic, terminus,
too, ground must be reclaimed from
tho sea to allow buildings, quays,
wharves, and other necessary conven
iences to be built. Then again, at Pana
ma and Colon the depth of the water
at both termini is shallow, and in
many places tho bottom Is composed
of cornl-reffo and hard conglomerates.
All such obstructions bavo to be blast
ed and dredged.
"Tho canal at the Panama terminus
will also have to be extended to tho
Islands of Naos and Flamenco, a dis
tance ot between threo and four miles
from the Rio Grande, the proposed
mouth of the canal. Of course, all
theso difficulties will be overcome, and
the waterway, when finished, will be
a glorious triumph for American en
gineering skill."
Of the condition of affairs at the
Isthmus M. Pernot said that when be
left Colon the people were wild with
enthusiasm at gaining their Indepen
dence. "It has always been a wonder to
me," be said, "why tho Panamalans did
not revolt long ago. They are better
able to govern themselves than the
Columbians, and cf the two peoples
the Panamtans, as a whole, are of a
higher honor and Integrity."
And Now They Don't Speak.
"Thoy say that Brook, a little town
In Holland, is the cleanest town in
the world," said the New York Girl.
. "Do you suppose that's true?"
"I know it's true from personal ex
perience," answered the Chicago girl.
"Some girl friends ot mine In Chi-
! cago and I were there not long ago,
and they wouldn't let any of us go Into
! any of the bouses without taking off
our aUoos."
"Yes, I suppose the bouses thera ara
rather small," mused the girl from
I Kew York. New York Times.
MEET YEARS AFTERWARD.
Men Oppoted During Civil War Now
Work In the Treasury.
Blrango things happen In the course
of a lifetime. Persons whom we meet
under peeullur circumstances and
ncvor expect to encounter n?aln have
a curious way of bobbing tip. A re
markable coincidence that has of late
ptcsented Itself wns tho singular
meeting cf M. P. Knight, watchman,
mid William M. Skillman, assistant
messenger In the treasury building,
During the civil war Mr. Knight
served as sergeant In Uie Fifth Indi
ana Infantry, Col. J. W. Foster, after
ward secretory of state, commanding.
Mr. Skillman wag a member of Mor
gan's cavalry, serving on the side ot
the confederacy. One day, during the
early years of the war, while Morgan
toas operating In Kentucky, Skillman
and others of his troop received an In
vitation to attend a wedding, which
was to be held the same night In a
part of Kentucky lying uncomfortably
near a federal outpost Nothing
daunted, however, the confederate
cavalrymen decided to attend, and
when night fell they were all, to the
number of 15 or more, gathered at the
home of the bride's parents to partic
ipate In the wedding festivities.
Everything went well, and the guests
wf;re having the time of their lives,
when, unfortunately, Information of
what was In progress reached Col
Foster, stntloned at some distance
from the scone of the festivities. He
at once determined upon prompt and
decisive action, and. without more ado,
dispatched Sergt. Knight and a body
of 25 or 30 cavalrymen to surround
the houso where there wedding ban
quet was gomg forward, and capture
such of the guests as were members
of Morgan's cavalry. Sergt. Knight
performed his part to a turn, sur
rounding the house and taking prison
er every member of the 15 Confederate
cavalrymen within.
Doubtless at the cIoro of the civil
ar Knight and Sklllmfcn had little
Idea of ever meeting or seeing each
other again, and the surprise of both
may bo better imagined than described
when, several days ago, the two men
met In the treasury building. Wash
ington PoeL
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.
At the burial of a South London
man, his six dogs, draped In black,
followed the cortege.
It Is figured out by some one that
the average traveling man, preacher
or teacher talks 12,0uu words a day.
The following advertisement, recent
ly appeared: "I will gladly sing to the
sick or those who are unable to leave
their homes."
In nearly every street In Japanese
cities Is a public oven, where, for a
small fee, housewives may have their
dinners and suppers cooked for them.
Trout are believed to he exclusively
fresh water fish. It happens, however,
occassionally that some are caught
with tho herring In tne Oerman ocean.
Australia has more churches per
capita than any other country. She
has 210 churches to every ino.000 peo
ple; England has 114 and Russia but
65. .
The amtomobl'3 principle has been
applied In Paris to baby corrlages.
The nurse sits behind and regulates
the qpeed, which does not exceed a
moderate figure.
An English syndicate has been
formed for tho purpose of removing
ono of the worst evils with which
Irish Industrial development Is af
flicted, viz., dear coal.
The experiment of serving honey at
a Sunday school picnic was tried In
Kansas. The bees In the neighbor
hood learned of the affair and tho pic
nic disbanded a bit suddenly.
A new occupation is opening , for
tramps In England. They station
themselves near a police trap and
warn approaching motorists of danger,
and, as a result are rewarded with do
nations of small pieces pf money.
A tramp smoking in a g-anery at
Znarnoe, Hungary, set flro to the
place. The inhabitants, unable to ex
tinguish it, threw the tramp into the
flame, whenco he was rescued by the
police In a dlng condition.
The use of sea water for flushing
Btreets and sewers in English towns
has been abandoned because tm salt
dust damaged the goods ot merchants,
the paint on carriages, and corroded
plumbing.
In several respects the Albanians
are the most Interesting people in
Europe. They commit no crimes but
murder. Among them human life has
an even smalled value than in Sicily,
and the vendetta prevails even more
rigidly.
In any large city of Germany a spe
cial delivery card or stamp, costing
less than eight cents, wiu cause a mes
sage to be shot by tube anywhere In
the city. A messenger will carry it
from the point of reception to the re
ceiver, and will wait for an answer.
Message and answer In Berlin take
about two hours.
American Tourists.
About 85,000 Americans cross the
Atlantic every year. Many make the
voyage every spring and return each
fall. Business men find In a cruise of
six or seven days going and as many
more returning the most restful ex
perience t their command and take
their vacations on shipboard.
"ROOM UP FRONT."
Inthe jnmmpd nnd Jouncing street enf I,
wiik tumulus to n Ktrnp,
Trying hind to keep from xlttli'flmouie
totiil M ranger's dipt
Every time we Mopped, some others
rernmliled IiiiitIciII v iiIioiii-iI.
While In tones Hint tl r iled with enrn-
frtiii-M the lilne cliid mini Implored
"U, tln-i-e's plenty room up li-ont there
If you'll move nloiig unit limit
Step u little lively, people, for there's
ltoutii
Front."
If we'd heed that llttlo lesfon as we
struggle lny liv iliiv,
Tolling on nnd iiioillnguiiwnrd in a dull,
hiilf-liein ted way,
If we'd miike n resolution that we'd do
our work so well
That unless the others hindled we'd be
i i tnln to excel,
We would feel a lot left crowded us we
do our iliillv Mnnt
If we d "step it little lively" tliere'd be
"Itooiu
LP
Front."
Iliiltiinore American,
HUMOROU8.
"I thought sho was going to marry
an English duke." "No. Her father
found a Russian prince that he could
get for half tho price." Chicago Record-Herald.
"Yes," said the sharper, who had
Just succeeded In obtaining change for
a bad flO bill from a guileless old
clergyman, "If there's anything I like
It's pastoral simplicity." Puck.
"Say, papa," aBked little Cordelia,
"what is a woman called who thinks
twice before she speaks?" "Slie's
what they call a mute, my dear," an
swored the knowing parent. Chicago
News.
"People say," remarked the girl in
blue, "thnt wo look very much alike,
and 1 believe I can sec a little resem
blance myself." "You conceited
thing," pxelolmc.'d the girl in gray.
Chicago Post.
Bob Are you fond of reading,
Dick?" Dick No, I hate It; that's the
reason I pretend to like It. If my
mother thought I didn't like to read,
she'd keep me at It all the time."
Boston Transcript.
"Well, nnyway," he said during
their lltle spsit, "when I proposed to
you, you took mo promptly enough."
"Yes," sho heplled: "I wns only a
woman, and you did look so cheap."
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Yes, It's all off between Laura and
Reginald." "What was the trouble?"
"He met her unexpectedly out onto
moblllng and she had on her new auto
cap. The next day he broke the en
gagement." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"The day Is done." murmured the
sentimental maid. "That's right," ad
mitted the prosaic youth, "but the
night Is pretty raw." Whereupon they
both shivered and broke up the camp
on the front stoop. Chicago Dally
News.
"I wish I had been born with a nil
vet spoon In my mouth," sighed the
youth. "Oh, don't let that worry
you," rejoined the village sage. "You'll
probably get a lot of gold teeth In
your mouth before you die." Chicago
News.
"Now, dear," said the hero of the
elopement, as they boarded the train,
"we are safe from pursuit." "And
also," said tho radiant girl, "safe from
starvation. Here's a check papa made
ou to your order." Philadelphia
Press.
"What your town needs most," said
tlu traveling man, "is a hotel with all
the comforts of a home." "Not much,"
replied the housekeeper. "A home
with all the comforts of a hotel is
what most of us want." Philadelphia
Pi ess.
He Do you remember when wo wera
children, nnd I used to come over to
your house to ploy? Wern't those
Jolly times? Sae Weren't they? And
your ninmma never let you stay more
than an hour. Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
"When you send your poetical effu
sions to the magazines do you call
them 'poems' or 'verses?' " "Well,
when I'm sending them I call them
my 'poems,' but when they come back
I call them my 'reverses.' " Philadel
phia Pre.
Miss Screecher So Mr. Critique
said my singing was heavenly, did he?
Mr. Howells Well, not in so many
words, but he probably meant that.
.': Sreecher What did he say? Mr.
Howells He said it was unearthy.
Chicago News.
"You have spinal troubles," said the
physician at the conclusion of his ex
amination of the able editor. "Well,
ah h'm doctor," returned the Jour
nalist, "how much do you charge per
column for treatment In such cases?"
Town Topics.
"Yes," said the grass widow with
the perpetual ticket to Dakota. "I can
count my husbands on my fingers."
"How about that short, stout gentle
man you married some time ago?"
asked her friend. "Oh, I count him a
thumb." Buffalo News.
"He's the most eccentric genius I
ever met" "Ho certainly Is a gen
ius, but I never considered him eccen
tric." "That's Just it. The average
genius Is eccentric, and his lack of ec
centricity makes blm all the more ec
centric." Philadelphia Ledger.
A 8oclal Cannibal.
An amusing story Is told of a miser
ly old gentleman who visited his rela
tives uninvited. One morning his llttlo
niece of Ave summers came up to him
unexpectedly with the indignant ques
tion: "Uncle, are you a cannibal?"
The gentleman was startled, and said:
"No, of course not my dear; but what
on earth makes you ask?" The little
girl replied: "Ota, I thought you must
be, because mamma was saying this
morning. Just as you came In, that you
always lived on your relations."
, SCIENCE NOTES.
Flowers out of the natural season are
usually obtained by keeping the young
plants in cold, dry houses, and forcing
them later by heat and moisture.
Why do mocmtltoffl bite human be
ings? Aci'ordlnq to Dr. Santos Fcrr.an-rt-z.
of Cuba, It Is because the female
cannot form their egsa without suck
ing somo warm blood. If they fall to
cct it they lay no cgc.
The dog rrows for two years and
lives for ten or twelve. The cat grows
only for about eighteen months and
may oIfo live for ten years. In ve.y ex
ceptional tares for twice as leng.
The atom of hydrogen Is the small
est of tho "ultimate atoms" of tho
chemists, hut It Is 17S0 times as larga
as the corpuscles which have recently
been demonstrated aa the elements of
the atoms.
A and worm of tie northern and
western roads i,t Fi ance seems to have
a flciiM of time. It Is known as "con
voluta," nnd M. Uchn states that It
makes green spots on the sand at low
tldo and disappears as the tide rises,
nnd continued this course during the
fourteen days In an aquarium.
Great Britain Is to have an habitual
criminal law resembling thews of some
of our states. According to the Daily
Mnll the pion now under consideration
Is that ot an Industrial penal settle
ment for tho special benefit of such
"habltuals," where special efforts
would be made to reform them and op
portunity given them of regaining their
liberty by Industry and good conduct,
but only on probation.
A curious Investigation by Alfred
Blnet of the Laboratory ot the Sor
honno has revealed differences In the
handwriting of tho sexos. Numerous
characteristics are traced such as
carelessness In the writing ot women
and firmness and simplicity in that of
men and an expert graphologist has
been able to glvo the sex of the writers
of 141 addresses out of 180. The writ
ing ot old men resembles that of wom
en. CINEMATOGRAPH IN SURGERY.
The Machine Improved So as to Seem
to Throw Moving Objects In Relief.
The cinematograph. In addition to
Itc many other uses. Is now adapted i
to the clinic. Tho machine common
ly displayed has, however, been Im
proved upon for tho surgeon by the
addition of an ingenious appliance by
which photographic projections seem
to ho thrown upon the screen with the
veilef that accompanies the same
scene In nature.
This has been done In Paris. To
lock at the picture of a surgeon per
forming an operation as It is thrown
upon the screen It exhibits no special
peculiarity.
But when the same picture Is exam
ined through a small apparatus con
sisting of two aluminum plates with
some mechanism between apertures
for tho eyes, there ara seen plainly as
In life all the details of the operation.
The Illusion Is so perfect that the man
looking tt it might almost imagine
himself present at the operation.
The va!ueof the apparatus, which
h the Invention of Dr. Doyen, a
Frenrh Burgeon, is that tt Is possible
with its aid to display beforo tho eyes
of almost any number cf students typ
ical surgical operations In their min
utest details end In the most life-like
aspect.
Later It is expected to bo ahlo to af
fix the apparatus to opera glnseei so
that It may be used In t'-'.o samo man
ner with ordinary cinematograph pic
tures. The Invention has received
warm praise from several learned so
cieties In London before which It has
been exhibited. New York Sun.
Dritish Birds for Canada.
An attempt cn a largo scale to intr
3uce English song birds Into Lritish
Columbia Is at present being mada.
The Victoria (B. C.) Natural History
society is taking out from Eng'.and
about 500 birds, consisting of loo pairs
of goldfinches. 100 pairs of larks, and
50 pairs of robins. Thuy go by way
of New York to Victoria. In accordance
with the arrangements that have been
made, half of the consignment will be
placed In Vancouver and taken care
of there until next spring when they
will bo distributed throughout tlm
woodlands of the lower mainland. The
remainder will be placed In Beacon
Hill Park aviary and kept until spring;
when they will be given their liberty
at various points on Vancouver Island.
It will bo very Interesting to hear if
this extensive scheme of acclimatiza
tion proves a success.
Submarine Hotel In France.
A submarine hotel near Perdun, on
tho south coast of France, Is proving
a great attraction. Quite a number cf
guests aro entertained there during
the summer months. Tno building hr
of steel on a rock foundation, and has
heen firted with larga plate glass win
dows, from which the guests rr.ay
Icok out on the peculiar form of life
under the water at a depth of 36 feet.
.Machinery at the surface pumps -air
Into the rooms for those visiting be
low, and at the same time drives away
t:io Impure air through draft tubes.
It was in this hotel that the famous
uovelist Richoburg wrote some of his
best stories wheu taking his annual
vacation.
Once In three years tho fish In a
large pond belonging to Prince)
Schwarzenberg In Bohemia ara
caught The latest catch, which last
d three days, yielded 32,000 worth
ot fish.