SIR JOHN SOANE'S WHIM.
The I'nrltnl Joke it rrlrbmtrd Men
I'leyed on I'omrrllr.
One of the moat fatuous of postmor
tem Joke was Hint perpi'tratod by the
donor -of Uie oolohrntetl Honno museum
cf pictures nnd other valuable- objets
d'nrt to Enlani), (lie Into Hlr John
Bonne, who died In 1K17. In his will
Sir J olio umdo provision for tlio open
lug of three sealed ciiiboiin1s on cer
tain sperlfleil dales In the presence of
the trustees. In JSiM, Hint Is to any
almost thirty years after the death of
the testator, the first of the mysterious
' recvptaclcs v wllh much ceremony
nd brenkliiK of seals opened In the
presonco of a committee of men, with
the then presWlent of the Iloynl nond
emy, Hlr F. tiriuit, tit their bend. In
stead of a prlivless tivnsnro or some
evidence Hint would throw nil entirely
new llht upon some doubtful Incident
In political history the contents of tha
cupbonrd proved to be worthless ac
count, letters nnd Htutloncry.
Twenty yours pnsed by, nnd the In
terest Hint hnd smoldered hfter the
disappointment of lNtltt wns airaln
fanned Into lliiine nt the prospect of
breaking the scnls of the second cup
board, nt which rite there were pres
ent among others Ir. Alfred Water
bouse, H. A., nnd Sir (then lr.) 11. W.
Rlehardson. Like the cupboard mention
ed In the well known nursery rhyme, Sir
John's sjtml cabinet proved "bnre"
of any seusntlon, Iho contents being
chiefly composed of letters relntlng to
certain long forgotten fnnilly quarrels
thnt hnd not even the merit of being
Interesting. . If some of those author
lied to lie present nt the opening of
tha third nnd lust receptnelo of mys
tery were dubious about the prolit Hint
would accrue by letting the light of day
fall upon the contents thereof nfter
sixty years' darkness one nt lenst, Sir
B. W. Hli-hardson, looked forwnrd
With unabnted Interest to thnt day In
18IH1 when the Inst seal would be
broken and the mystery solved, but he,
alas, died Just two ilnys before the
ceremony wns performed, nnd the fact
that Hlr John bad played a practical
Joke upon posterity wns duly confirm
ed by the presenco of n collection of
perfectly worthless letters and papers.
MERRY MEALTIMES.
The Table Xo rince For Knnlt Kind
InK, KanalnK and Strife.
lias it ever been your lot to sit nt a
table with a group of young folks who
ate the meal In sllcnco or, with a few
constrained remarks, looked askance at
the head of tho family before ventur
ing on any rcinnrk? I have seen such
a sight on more than ono occasion.
Doctors hnvo told us over and over
again of the beneficial results arising
from a meal eaten with a contented
frame of mind nnd with cheerful sur
roundings; but, snd to say, thero are
many households where each meal la
a constant scene of bickering, nagging
and fault finding.
This Is not only the case where there
are young children, who require a
reprimand occasionally for careless
ness, but I am speaking of those homes
where the girls nnd boys arc well Into
their teens. Vroig Is that parent, ei
ther father or mother, who chooses the
hour when all are assembled round
the table to mention some half forgot
ten grlevauce or to find some fault.
If any trivial thing has been douo
wrong or any duty omitted wait until
dinner or tea la over before you scold,
blame or reprimand. Let the food
which God gives us for tho purpose of
nourishing and sustaining our bodies
have the opportunity of accomplishing
that end, which cannot be the case if
every mouthful Is swallowed with ei
ther a sarcastic word or an uncompli
mentary remark. Moro indigestion,
nervousness and other derangements
are caused by tho too common fault of
nncomfortablo mealtimes than many
peoplo -would supposo, nnd it Is our
positive duty, which we should all try
to remember, to make those hours of
the day cheerful and agrceablo to the
children and to set them on example
which you would be the first to notice
and approve in others. Scotsman.
80 Hie and Sympathetic
A. gentleman whose one glass eye
has served him for years had the mis
fortune to drop It. It smashed to
atoms. This happened when be waa
far away in the country. He inquired
of a friend where was the nearest
place for him to go and get refitted.
"Why don't you call upon the girl
yon were flirting with all last night?"
his friend Inquired. "She has a first
class reputation for making eyes."
Punch.
Prayer of the Convert.
A south sea Islander at tho close of
a religious meeting offered the follow
ing prayer: "O God, we are about to
go to our respective homes. Let not
the words we have heard be like the
fine clothes we wear soon to be taken
toff and folded up In a box till another
Sabbath comes around. Rather, let
thy truth be like the tattoo on our
bodies ineffaceable till death." Carle
ton's Magazine.
The Temprratare.
"Why do you watch the thermometer
on the wall so closely?" queried the In
valid. "Because," replied the untrained
nurse, "the doctor said If the tempera
ture got any higher I waa to give you
another dose of quinine."
Bewildered.
"John Henry, I'll thrash you soundly
If I ever catch you telling another
story that isu't true."
"And yet, ma, I heard you say to the
minister thut I hud great Imagination."
Cleveland I'lalu Ltealer.
A'show of duriug oft conceals great
cowardice-Lucjiu.
MISSING WORDS.
Annnrtna tin pi In r'.nallnh l.anaaaaT
that t'anne Inconvenient.
The Kngtish Inngungo may fairly
claim to lie the must proline In the
world. Not content with Its native
riches, It possesses In a special degreo
the faculty of nsslmllntlng everything
useful from other tongues, ancient and
modern. It ought Indeed to be tho
most perfect vehicle of thought In the
world, nnd In somo respects no doubt
It Is.
ltut, curiously enough, there are de
ficiencies lu lOngllsh not to tie found In
far less copious hiiiKunges. While In
ninny caws we have linlf a d07.cn
words expressing Hie snme or prac
tically Hie snme thing, there nre, on
the oilier tin ml. certain Ideas that hnvo
no appropriate words to express them.
In Hie words denoting relationship
some noliiblf gaps nre found. The
most glaring Instance Is Hie want of a
word to distinguish between n ninlo
mid female cousin. Other lniigunges,
such as Trench nnd Italian, have a sep.
urate word for each, but In Kngllsh
some addition or explanation Is re
quired In order to make 11 clenr which
sex Is Intended.
Curious gnps occur here nnd there in
our language If we look Into It. The
word "show" expresses the Idea of
milking to see, but there Is no word for
milking to henr-a phonograph, for ex
ample. "I took the phonograph to my
friend and" What "Got hliu to
listen to It" would probably be the In
elegant finish to the sentence.
On the other hand, "audience" mentis
those who henr nnd applies very well
to those present In n lecture hall or con
cert room, ltut what of those who see
a cricket in it eh, for Instance? "Spec
tators" Is the nenrest word, but It does
not correspond exactly to "audience."
There Is one deficiency In the Inn
gunge so awkward anil Irritating thnt
even nt tills lute hour It ought to be
made good. Need It be said that refer
ence Is made to Indiscriminate use of
the personal pnitioun to denote either
the person speaking or the person
spoken of? This may not be a defect
peculiar to English, but It lsf 11c from
which the ancient Classical tongues nre
entirely free.
"He snltl lie. lind olTerod hint money,
which ho bad declined." would lie quite
comprehensible either In Greek or Lat
in, but In Kniillsli It necessitates a num
ber of bracketed explanations which
nre positively nnnoylng nnd destructive
of grnco nnd fluency. London An
swers. THE GENTLEMAN BURGLAR.
He Tan Kxlut Only In Fletlon, Never
In Ileal Life.
Whenever n thief who Is dressed oth
erwise than In rugs falls Into the po
lice net there nre chronicled the adven
tures of a "gentleman burglar."
Such a being Is, of course, Impossi
ble. . Ho Is a literary creation, like tho
"Invisible Man," the Frankenstein
monster, Kipling's Mowgll and tho rest
of Hie rrew of prodigies that dwell
within book covers.
As a character in fiction the "gentle
man burglar" could be made plausible
and picturesque, for when wo get Into
Hie realm of fancy there Is an Implied
contract thnt the reader shall accept
the author's premises and not bother
about possibilities.
A burglar is Just a thief about the
meanest of thieves.
To a man endowed with qualities of
refinement and consideration of oth
ers and honor which nre tho ottrl
butes of a gentleman burglary or other
theft Is Impossible. Tho pride of such
a man, his regard for his own opinion
of himself, would prevent his sneak
ing Into another man's houso and tak
ing his plate or his' wife's Jewelry.
Then It must bo remembered that the
burglar Is prepared to do murder to
accomplish his rohlicrlcs, and tho Idea
of a gentleman committing murder for
gnln Is too Inconsistent even for fic
tion. A "gentleman burglar" Is a contra
diction of terms, like a brave coward
or a tall pygmy. Ho may bo better
dressed or his booty may be larger than
that of most burglars, but when it is
all summed up he is a thief Just a
plain thief with tho moral codo and
impulses of a- pickpocket or a card
swindler or any other predatory crea
ture whoso natural home Is a prison
and whoso deserved nnd fitting rai
ment is a suit of stripes. New York
American.
She Cot the Wool.
"A young American girl, on her first
trip to Italy, entered a shop in search
of black dinning wool," says a writer
In Harper's Bazar. "She. spoke no Ital
ian, the clerk spoke no English. She
pantomimed darning a holo nnd point
ed to her stocking. The clerk brought
white darning cotton. She showed
that her stocking was black, and black
farnlng cotton was produced. But she
wanted wool. A long pause, then
'Ba n!' bleated the American girl. Sho
got the wool."
A Nateral Mistake.
"I was Just telling our friend here,
Molly, that it was storming on the day
of our marriage."
"Surely not, Hiram! The weather
was perfectly lovely!"
"Well, well! I don't know how I got
so mixed up about It probably because
It's beon storming ever since!" Atlanta
Constitution.
Ike Kpew Her Dad.
Smithers Do you know any one who
has a horse to sell?
She Yes; I suspect old Brown has,
Bmithers Why?
She Well, papa sold him one yester
day. London l'unch.
, Sincerity Is the basis of all true
friendship. ' Without sincerity It Is
like a ship without ballast
ASKING QUESTIONS.
The Art of Interroa-atlon Shoald Be
Devoid of Impertinence.
"I)o not ask questions" Is the worst
piece of social advice which age can
give to youth. A man who never asks
questions Is the dullest fellow In the
world. He had better nsk too many
than too few. We can defend ourselves
against curiosity, but no armor avails
against Indifference. We must resign
ourselves to lie bored to death.
What Is the secret of tho art of In
terrogation? rutting asido quick sym
pathies, which tie nt the root of every
social nrt, we believe the most essen
tial qunllty for those who would excel
In It Is directness. The nrt of asking
questions so as to learn, Instruct, plenso
and Influence Is not the art of beating
about the bush. The questions which
offend nud silence nre the questions
which suggest some ulterior motive. It
Is a found out scheme which makes
men angry. Anything of the nature
of a trap keeps us on our guard. If
wo once fall Into ono we resolve It
shall bo the last time. Suspicion kills
confidence. Interrogative hints are ut
terly useless. The average man does
not dislike to be questioned. He bates
lo be startled, crossed, Interfered with,
reproached, wearied or betrayed. He
hates the questions which are not ask
ed with n simple Intention.
There nro questions which nre naked
not because the nsker wants to know,
but because he Intends to tell. Others,
while ostensibly directed to find out a
man's opinion, are really Intended to
reflect upon his character. Some men
Inquire as to their neighbors' projects
In order to put difficulties In their way.
Strings of niennlngless questions nre
poured out by those who desire to pre
tend nn Interest In some subject which
they neither know nor care anything
about.
We believe the conclusion of tho mat
ter to be this: The nrt of Interrogation
Is n serious branch of the social nrt.
Well asked questions nre of the essence
of agreeable Intercourse, lint the In
terrogative mood will not Justify nn
Impertinence, an Interference, a verbal
assault nor, for the matter of that, a
bore. London Spectator.
ODD NOTIONS OF WOMEN.
llosa Itonheur treasured a small lead
Image of St. Anthony of I'adua as 4
lucky charm. ,
Caroline Herschel firmly believed thnt
If she met a cross eyed lieggar lu tho
morning It presaged the discovery of a
new star that night.
George Eliot was a slavo to the In
fluence of the hunchback and club
footed man and did no literary work
upon the day when she saw one.
Lndy Mlllals, the wlfo of the grent
pnlntcr, was convinced that the crack
of doom would sound for nny ono who
stopped on 11 crack lu tho sidewalk.
Harriet Boceher Stowo bellved that It
was bad luck to throw away a tooth
brush which had outlived its useful
ness and, to tho anguish of her house
hold, preserved every one that Bho had
ever used.
Queen Victoria cherished n number
of superstitions, and, among them, she
believed that the removal of her wed
ding ling would surely bring calamity
and that a pet Manx cat would bring
good luck to the royal household. Ev
erywhere. Didn't Cure to fie 1'reaented.
The wife of a well known unvul offi
cer tells an amusing story of some of
her experiences In Washington society.
On one occasion when she wns asked to
receive at an army and navy gcrman a
congressman entered with a lady lean
ing upon each arm. Ono of the tloor
eommltteo at ouco approached him,
with the polite request that he give his
name In order that he might be pre
sented to Mrs. Blank, who received the
guests of the evening.
"No, thank you," was the nonchalant
reply. "I don't care to be Introduced.
I have two ladles now to take care of,
nnd that Is about as much as I can
mnnage."
tira.ee lu Old Forests.
Some trees are more graceful than
others. The elm and oak are noted for
their perfect and graceful form. All
their branches appear to be perpetually
moving, stirred by every wind that
blows, and the same may be said of
the pine. The graceful movements of
Its limbs, tho sighing sounds of Its
steins and evergreen needles, send forth
a solemn symphony. Everything con
tributes serene grace and simplicity to
old forests.
Behind Her Hack.
"She's very studious." said one wom
an. "Yes," answered the other.
"And doesn't seem to care for gos
siping In the least." '
"Oh, I don't know about that," an
swered tho other with a smile; "sho
merely prefers to talk about Helen of
Troy and Komeo and Juliet to paying
attention' to what la going on lu her
own neighborhood." Washington Star.
A Bare Slsro.
When a young man talks about the
business of "our firm" In a pftch of
volco that can' be heard from one end
of a street car to the other it Is a sure
sign that his wanes have been raised
to IfO a week.
The Prise Winner.
NaggHhy How did the contest in op
timism result last night?
Waggshy Gaggster won the prize by
laughing most heurtlly at one of his
own Jokes. Baltimore American.
Versatile.
Hobsou now Is your brother doing
it college?
Dobsou Fine, lie's singing first
tenor and playing second base. Indl
tuapolla Journal.
NATIVE PLATINUM.' '
The Noble" Metals Rstracted Front
Thl Peenllnr Babatanee.
On the slopes of the Ural mountains
nd In IJrtir.ll, California, Australia,
Canada nnd many other countries a pe
culiar substance known as native plati
num Is found. This Is nn alloy of the
metals platinum, palladium, Iridium,
osmium, rhodium nnd ruthenium, to
gether with a little gold nnd Iron. All
of these except the Inst mentioned are
Hie "noble" metals. They do not tar
nish In the air and arc not soltiblo In
any single mid. The most plentiful
metal occurring In native platinum Is
that from which It takes Its name.
This metal Is of a grayish color and
with one exception Is the heaviest sub
stance known. Its fusing point Is ex
tremely high, anil this property, to
gether with Its freedom from tarnish
ing, causes It to be largely used for the
manufacture of crucibles nnd other
vessels required by scientists to stand
a very high temperature. It Is also
sometimes used as a substitute for gold
In photography, mid when deposited In
n thin film on tho Interior of the tubes
of telescopes It forms n dend black
surface, which prevents the light from
being reflected by the polished sides.
Palladium Is of a lustrous white
color. It Is the most easily fused of
the metals found In platinum ore, and
can even be volatilized. A curious
quality which this metal possesses Is
that when heated to redness It Is
porous to hydrogen gas, allowing It to
puss through somewhat In the same
manner that blotting paper permits tho
passage of water. The silvery white
color of palladium and its freedom
from tarnishing render It useful for
making scales and division minks on
sclent Hie Instruments. A mixture of
this metal with mercury Is sometimes
used for lllllng teeth. Osmium Is a
metal which possesses two remnrknble
properties-It Is the most refractory
of the metals, resisting fusion at the
most Intense bent, and It Is nlso Hie
heaviest substance known, being twenty-two
and a half limes heavier than
water. Together with Iridium, It oc
curs principally In a peculiar variety of
native platinum called osmllidliim.
This mineral differs from ordinary
platinum ore In that It contains a
larger proportion of osmium and Irid
ium than platinum. Osmlridiiim Is
found lu small particles, varying In
weight from one-sixth to one-third of
a grain. These particles aro extremely
hard and nre used for pointing non
wenrliig pens.
Metallic Iridium possesses a whlto
steel-like appearance. Tho knlfo edges
of delicate balances and other bearings
which require extreme hardness nre
often mniio of It. An alloy of 10 per
cent Iridium and 00 per cent platinum
has b 1 found to bo very little affected
in volume by changes of temperaturo
and Is the substance of which the
standard meter kept In the Internation
al metric bureau at I'arts Is made.
IMioilliiui and ruthenium are metals of
little practical use. Tho former occurs
in platinum ore to tho extent of 6 to 0
per cent. Tho latter Is found only In
osmlridiiim and averages about 5 per
cent of that mineral. Tho metal which
ranks next to platinum In prico is sir
conluui, which occurs In hyacinth and
some other rare minerals. Uranium is
remarkable for Its high atomic weight,
the heaviest known. Chambers' Journal.
The Sedan Chair.
Tho sedan chair Is named after Se
dan, the town where It was first used.
The curliest mention of it In England
occurs in loNl. Early In the following
century the Duko of Buckingham
caused much Indignation by Us nso In
London, l'cqple were exasperated at
that nobleman employing Ills fellow
men to take tho place of horses to car
ry him. l'rluce Charles brought from
Spain In UZi three curiously wrought
sedans, two of which ho gavo to tho
iMike of Buckingham. A few weeks
after their Introduction Masslnger pro
duced his ploy, "The Hondmaii," and
In It he thus adverts to tho ladles:
For their pomp and enro being borne
In triumph on men's shoulders.
Tho referenco Is doubtless to Buck
ingham's sedan, which was borne like
a pnlanqnlu. "Ilygouo England."
Favorably Struck,
"Papa, have have you seen Harold
since you told him ho was too poor to
think of of marrying me?"
"Yes. I ran across hlin at the club
last evening. We got luto conversa
tion, and he struck me er"
"Struck you! Oh, papa!"
Struck mo as quite an agreeable
young man. I understand his uncle
bus left him $2HJ,000."-Knnsns City
Journal.
What They Wanted.
To explain why bis trip bad proved
so poor, a commercial traveler once
wrote a long account of bow the
weather had affected business In the
territory In which he had traveled.' In
due time lie received this reply from
his firm: "We get our weather reports
from Washington. Don't send us any
more. What we want la orders."
Not the Kind Me Wanted.
"If you're so hurd up," said the easy
mark, who was temporarily unable to
extend the accommodutlon asked,
"why don't you borrow some money
from Tlteflst?"
"Heavens, no!" exclaimed tho other.
"Why, he always expects to be paid
back." Chicago Post.
Improvemout on Nature.
Humble Admirer Are the characters
in your book drawn from real life?
Haughty Author Hid you ever 100
such Interesting people In real life as
my characters'? Somervlllo Journal.
We would make fewer bulls In this
life if we had not so many wrong
steers. Baltimore American.
COLLAR AND CRAVAT.
Way la Whleh They Atteet the An.
arane of the Wearer.
Men who do not want to look nny
fatter lu tho face than they can help
have nn easy means of accomplishing
their purpose. Not all of them nro
aware of the effect that may be erected
by the form of a collar or cravat.
"The stout man who wants to look as
thin as he can," said a haberdasher's
clerk, "ought to wear a tie of the kind
known as u four-ln hnnd. Preferably
It should be dark In color and drawn
tight. Thnt carries down the line of
the face and lengthens It to a degree
that tends to liuiko the face look thin
ner. "Another aid to making n man look
thin Is In the height of his collnrs.
Stout men who want to look tbln
should wear high collars and closed
ones. Any collar that opens In front
makes one look stouter under nearly,
every circumstance. Such collars are
becoming to the thin men.
"The fnt mini should avoid the kind
of tie that 1ms a horizontal effect. This
will add pounds to his iippenrnnce in
Ills face, nt least.
"On the contrary, this cross effect
will make the thin man look stout
The broad scarfs hnve little effect on n
miln's looks one way or the other.
When he wenrs them It Is the collar
thnt makes the difference.
"He should therefore see that he
wears a high one'thnt does not open If
he wants to look ns thin as possible,
v herons If he wnnts to seem stouter nn
open collar will produce that effect for
him."
Ktiallnli Siunaalers.
Smuggling was carried on with grent
boldness In England n century ago.
When Sniniiel l'ellew wns appointed
collector of customs at Kaliiimilh early
Inst century he found corruption tho
chief chnrnctciistlc of the service. Oup
day he surprised a party of his own
men attempting to smuggle In a cargo
of wine In broad daylight. l'ellew, who
wns a conscientious man. so worried
the smugglers that they threatened his
life repeatedly and posted bills offering
a reward for his nssnaslnntlou. One
smuggler, who kept a public house,
erected a battery of gnus to defend his
Illicit goods, nnd when n sloop of war
exhibited what ho considered n too In
quisitive spirit actually fired 011 her.
The vessel's guns were too low to re
ply with effect, but her crew landed In
boats, attacked the house In the rear
and leveled It to the ground.
The Difference In Two Word.
I Hd It ever occur to you to think of
the difference In significance of the two
words "seems" and "appears?" We
say "It seems to bo true" or "It appears
to bo true." Are those expressions
Identical, or If thero be a difference
what Is It?
There Is a difference, and it consists
chiefly lu tho strength of the expres
sion. If we read a story and say,
"That story seems to be true," we
mean that It has tho semblance of truth
and we Infer that It la true. If we
say, "Thut story appears to be true,"
wo mean that the statements made In
it or tho Incidents related go to show
Its truth.
In other words, "appears" refers to
tho nctuul presentation of something
to our view; "seems" refers to an Infer
ence of our mind as to the probability
of a thing being true.
Klr Type t'nat In America.
It was a good man Christopher
Sower, who made tho first punches and
matrices and cast tho first type In
America. The unvll he made them on
Is still preserved. They were for a
German Bible which he published.
'The price of our newly finished Bi
ble, in plain binding, with a clasp, will
bo 18 shillings." he said, "but to the
poor and needy wo have no price.
John the Baptist sent the message to
Christ, 'Art thou ho that should come,
or do wo look for another?' and Jesus
sent back word, 'The poor have the
gospel preached to them.'"
Sower's German Bible was printed
In 171.1 and was the first Bible pub
lished In America In any European
language.
Thornnsrhly "Done l'p."
"Have you done up my shirt yet?"
asked the patron of the laundry.
"It Is Just out of the ironing room,"
answered the clerk, "und we Vill have
It done up for you now, so' that you
muy take It ulong with you."
"All right. I hope it has had better
luck than the last one I bad done up
here."
"Better luck?"
"Yes. You did It up so completely In
the Ironing room that It wasn't worth
doing up in tho bundle" Judge.
Good For III Donlnau,
"If there's one tiling I hate," de
clared the passenger who had trouble
with the conductor. "It's to bo contra
dicted." "Well," replied the man who shared
his seat, "I like to have people talk
back to me."
"You do?"
"Yes. I'm an auctioneer." Philadel
phia Ledger.
, After a Iluritaln.
The. new woman had applied for a
marriage license.
"How much?" she asked In a bust
uessllke way,
"Two dollars," replied the clerk.
"Make it $1.08," she said, "and I'll
take two of them." Chicago Post.
A Fusil to the Last.
Wbon a womau tells a man Just
what sho thinks of him she really tells
him Just what she wants him to think
she thinks. Souiervlile Journal.
All imposture weakens confidence
and chills benevolence. Johnson,
MODE8TY OF THE GREAT.
bltdstone and llnrmln Felt Them"
selies Mlrdlnnry Person."
In "Studies In Contemporary Biogra
phy," by .lames Bryce, there occur two
Btoiirs whleh caused Some of Hie critics
to express astonishment at the "mod
esty of the great." The stories are
these:
"Mooting Mr. Gladstone In the lobby
and seeing his face saddened by the
troubles In Ireland, Mr. Bryce tried to
divert his thoughts by mentioning a
rei-iit discovery to wit, thnt Dante
had been saved from want In his last
Jenrs by 11 lectureship at Ilavenna. Mr.
Gladstone's fnce lit up at once, and be
said, 'How strange It Is to think that
these great souls, whose works are a
beacon light to all Uie generations that
hnvo come nfter them, should have had
cares and anxieties to vex Hiein In their
dally life Just like the rest of us com
mon mortals!'
"The words reminded me," ndds the
author, "that a few days before I had
heard Mr. Iiarwln, In dwelling upon
tho pleasure a visit pnld by Mr. Glad
stone hnd given him, say, 'And he talk
ed Just ns If he had been on ordinary
person like one of ourselves. The two
men were alike unconscious of their
greatness."
It Is only the Utile who think them
selves grent. They nre llko those who
do not know much nud therefore Im
agine thnt there Is not much to know.
The grent do not think themselves so.
Just as the learned are overwhelmed by
their Ignorance.
Snake In a Street Car.
The snakes with which I hnve gen
erally associated have mostly been the
little chaps, such ns the lively two foot
garter snake that I had In n Kansas
t'ily street car one day. I had picked
hliu up In the suburbs of the city, and
before taking the car back to the busi
ness section of the town I buttoned
him lu the Inside pocket of my coat.
Now, anybody who has ridden over
the streets of Kansas City knows that
In places It seems as though the cars
were climbing up tho roof of a barn.
When I got on the car It was full, and
;'o I hail to grab a strap In order to
stand lip. Presently a sont became va
cant beside me and I snt down. As I
did so I glanced up and there was my
poor little snake hanging to the strap
I had Just left. Various other peoplo
noticed him at tho same time, and the
ensuing exhibition would have enabled
any person In the car to secure a Job
ns a circus acrobat at a handsome sal
ary. After they had escaped I put
the snake bnck In my pocket. The
conductor was a hero and stuck to his
post, but be put me off the car and
kept my nickel. W. S. Dunbar In Out
ing. No Room For Him.
Several relics of exceptional value
and of unusual Interest to archaeol
ogists were discovered In a small town
near Nuremberg, and ns soon ns the
news reached him tho director of the
Nuremberg Historical museum went
to the village and Introduced himself
to the mayor, saying:
"I am In charge of alio museum at
Nuremberg, nnd I'd like to"
"You're too lnte, my good sir," in
terrupted the mayor. "We've already
got here several merry go rounds, a
benrded woman, a theatrical company
composed of apes, a troupe of trained
dogs and a band of Hungarian musi
cians, so you can reudlly see thnt we've
got no room for your museum."
And with these words ho nodded to
the director and went away.
Nature nnd Deformity.
Nature Is very particular to conceal
her deformities, and all that is worth
less or ungraceful generally drops off
from a tree unless It lie an Injury to tho
trunk. Fi'imi such effects tho tree nev
er recovers. (Jo Into the forests and
how often we see deformed trees, some
belli and twisted," somo parted till the
original trunk becomes like two, each
crossing and recrosslng tho other. This
was done by depression or injury to the
tree lu Its young and tender years. Na
ture has no power to right a broken
law either in the animal or the vesj
table organism. Punishment follows,
and deformity results.
Childish Amusement In Doilos,
"Are you playing horse?" asked the
benevolent gentleman who takes an
Interest In children.
"Curtalnly not," answered the little
Boston boy. "We nre amusing our
selves by tho assumption that Brother
Waldo Is an Ichthyosaurus and that I
am a prehistoric man In pursuit of
him." Washington Star.
Ono of Them.
"I am sorry to henr your unfortu
nato nephew has been closed out by
the sheriff," said the friend of the fnm
lly. "Have you any Idea what his lia
bilities are?"
"Yes. . I've mi Idee he's liable to call
on me fur help about the fust thing he
toes," responded Uncle Silas. Chicago
Tribune.
An Equine Pnssle flolved.
"Papa," suld small Elmer, "I know
why some pistols are called horse pis
tols." "Well, my boy, why are they so call
ed?" asked his father.
"Because they kick," replied the little
philosopher. St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Dlappolnted.
Aunt Margaret And if you're good
real good you'll go to heaven.
Little Dorothy-Oh, Is that all? I
thought maybe you were going to give
me a quarter. Puck. ,
Lea Expensive.
"Ho said he'd rather face father
than elope."
"And what did you say?"
"I said that father would rather have
us elope." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
I
Th3Curolh:!Curc3
Coughs, .
Colds, " '
, Grippe,
Whooping Cough, Asthma'
Bronohltla and Indolent
Consumption Is
CvtTH WvTttA Mi& Vuiwt o,to
MVaW tousta. 25A50eV
PENNSYLVANIA RA1T.KOAD.
HUFFAt.0 ft AtiLKOHANY VAIJiEY
DIVISION.
Low Orado Division. ' .
n Effect May 24, 1903,
I Eiitern Standard Time,
SASTWABO.
was
No IUt No. IIJo, lull Nol I NcioT
A. H. A. H A. M.lp. MHIt.
.... I ft 1:. 1 8 11 1 1 ; 1
.... y 2ft 11 in 4 or. vi
s 411 11 4 is 1 0:
.... 10 i;i 11 ? 4 m e i.
.... Hi 91 4 l -in 1.1
.... Ill Hi 11 M 6 III pi 111
.... HI 4.1 21 II Oil
I ft (ft II INI U'U II' y
t III Ml III (A All ; i
n tt hi Hi ts As tii x,
s :m it it: ii (h; 16 o
HI 4il t 411 tti HI
iti 11 4h I i.i, t in 10 M
; it" ill vi 1 s! c 4 !
7 1 : 1 w
? i 1 .vi1 7 hi
7 :i 1 f."i 7 10
7 K mi 7 I Not
'H :! 7 .
ts 11 tj .is : ,'1.1 ..
(HI M " I H li
A.M. A. H. I. M.p M F M.
STATIOSS.
riltsliurg
KJ llillik.,
LawHontiHiti
New Hetlilehem
Onk UIiIkb
MiiysvUlt)
Htiiiirnervtlle . ,.
Ilriiukvllle
lows
Fuller
Ktiyiiolrisvllle..
PlIIICIIHMl
K11II1. Cretik
Iiullula
ShIiiiIh
Wlnlerlnirn ....
Hfiinlleld
Tyler
tlciinetottc
Oriint
llriftwixid
TrHlnWIt iflllldliyileiivei I'IIIhIiii
tf 1IH. 01.
ynolilsvlUe
lied IIhiik 11.111 lliiniKVllle IJ.4I. Hi
i.u, luiif ( ieik 1 ..in. 1 hi urns :.,i5 i
WKN'l WAIID
No 108 No 108 No 102 No.ll4.No. 119
STATIONS.
Url'lwood
Oriint
lUMincr.cttd
Tyler
I'cmitlelil
WliiHirJiiirn ....
Mthulit
Illinois
KhIIh Creek
Himcimst
Keyiioklsvllltj..
fuller
Iowa
Hronltvlljft
ftiiiiunervllje....
l itysvlIlM
UiikKUlKli
New Hut lilnhem
liHWuiinhnm....
Ked Hunk
t'l 1 tHliu rg
A. M.A. M.ip. M. I'. H.
10 ll 10 .... I A 110
to :; tit ; .... tit mi
4i 11 t-i .... ft 17
7 13 Vi i .... ft 311
7 20 12 20 ... 7 W
7 3ft 12 2ft .... 7 0.1
7 W 12 Hit .... 7 IH
7 IW 12 Vi S 01 7 lift
H Oft 1 1ft A 12 7 42
tft IS 7 4H
K 1H 1 211 0 27 7 AH
t ao .... ts 4:1 tH 12
-tO AO t IH
K 4 ft t All II 00 ti m
tH AD 13 12 ft 1ft ....
til Hi J2 2ft ft ...
tH 22 ... 6 IB ....
9 ;) J ; a 4ft ....
II A7 8 (rt 7 14 . .
10 10 it 20 7 2ft ....
I2 : I 0 m ( 4ft ....
P. Dl. P. III. P. M. P, If.
I) 10
17
til 21
ft HI
til 4
til M
7 II-
7 311
7 ;t?
7 4.1
7M
n ;n
11 r
fralii IM2 (.Sunday) leaves liultuls 4.IU p.m.
Kill 1m Creek 4.17, Kt yiiiillsville4..lil, Hnxikviila
6.011, Hud Hunk .:!, I'litNlmri; p. m.
TnuiiH nmrked run dully; dully, excejit
Huniluy ; f Hit hiuIIiiii, where hIkuuIm uiiihI (mi
shown.
fhl.ailulphiu.St ICrle Kullroiid DIvMnn
In etluut Muy li'.Ui, 1'HKl. TiuIiih Iohvo
Driftwood as follows:
KASTWAItll
11:04 n in Train 12, WHekdiiys, for Huiihury,
VVilkestmrre, liulet.in, roMsv)lle,H:i-auUii,
tliirrlNlnirx und tliu lntertnd)Hltf Htit
tluliK, iirrlvliiK 111 I'hlluilelplilit t):i.l p. ui.,
New York, U:;m p. m. 1 lliillliiiort),rt:io p.m.;
WuMlilnuion, 7:1,1 p. ni I'ullniuu t'arlor cur
from Willlumsporl. to IMilliidtilpiilu und pu
Meuuer eouclies from Kunu to t'hlludelphia
und Wllllufiinport to hultlmore und Wanh
liirtuu. 12:.'i0 p. m. Train H, dully fur Kunlinry, Hur
rlsliurit snd principal iiiterniediulHHtatleiiM,
urrWIntf ut I'lilliiilelphiu ,::t3 p. m., Ntiw
York 10:2.1 p. m.. Hull iinore 7:. ui p. in., U ush
Intiltin H:.i.i p. ni. Vesilhuled purlor cur
und piiHseniter couches, Hutlnlo ui I'hiiadnt
iihiu und WuhlnxMin.
4:UI p. m. Train il, dully, for llur
rlslnirix and Intermediate HtuMon. ur
rivtiiK ut I'hiludclphlu 4:2ft A. M. : New York,
7.1.1 u. in. Itullitiiore, 2.20 a. m.; Washlnirlin
;i.-i! a. M. 1'iitliiiaii Mccptnir cars from
lluirinhurtf lo rhiludclpliiii niil Nw York,
I'liiliulelpiiiu i!khciitfcrM can l-einatil In
Hlei uer undlHlurhed uniH7;JUA, H.
ll:0ft p.m. - T ruin 4, dully for huiilen y ,;iliu'rU
hurtf und lut.ci iiii'diuiti slat ton, u,-i ving at
I'hlluilclphlu. 7:2i a. M. ; New loik, J:.; J
a. m. on Mt-tik dii and lu- a u. on .sun
day; Hall Itiiolt), i:Ioa.m.; V li-iimton, M.lO
A. H. I'lillman Hlt'Ucr" Iroui Ktie.
and Wllliutnspori to rhiludeiphiu, unit
w iiilanisport i. VVu-hinuion. j'iiM.iiier
coachlti. Illllll i-.rle lo I'liiluoili pluu, and
Willluuisport to lluliiniore.
I2:2i p. in. 1'ruiii it, nully lor.suiihur . Ilurrls-bui-
and principal Inlui inHdluiuitiutiiMiM.ur
riving at riitludctphiu 7:22 a. m., Xtm York
V-..S.I a. in. weekdays, I ;l..i.'l a. m., Miuduyi
Haltunoru 7:1ft n. ui., Wushiiiulon, h:.hj a in.
Vtislihulct) hull'ut sleeping curs ami pus
sender eoiiidivs, liuilaio ui i'liliuilwpliiu and
WusliliiKlon.
WESTWARD
4:;tl a. m. -Train 1, dully for Ilulfiilo vis
Kiuporiuni.
:: a. iu.-Trulii II. dally for Kile, llliln
way, and wm-k nay for ImHols. Clcrmopt.
anil principal ililci niediule staL.ims.
l:ft0u. ui.--Tiiiiu 4, daily (or rir.e uuil lllt4ir
mediate points.
4:4ft p. in. Irani Ift, dally lor Hutfulo via
Klnporiuiri.
3:t p . TH.--T i itln ill . vecUt:iy fm Kane and
intern. c ii .itest :ii ion
.lOHSoNiiUiiu U.wi.hoad.
u. in. Mhr.KI'.vts. a. ei.
777. .... in m srcTm iTi 1 1 Ii nv 77. io "m ...
in :t4 Wiimiviiie .... II 03 ...
to :tn (.itiliiw I .... ii o:i ....
1 211 Hmllh'r. I. on ... 11 00 ....
lu 20 liitanu r ... u Ift ...
to ill Mracilit , .... u IH
Ill 117 fill n llairiil ... It 37 ...
I1 ftii Jnhit-onliiii .... i ill ....
9 M Iv I: iliwuy ar 13 01 ....
IlIUOWAY St CLHAKF'IKr.D liAIMiOAD
and Conte c i. mi.-.
p.m. p.m.
u.ni.
0 HI
II 3ll
V 10
II (Hi
02
H .17
H 40
41
H 40
.1.1
8 :o
H 30
u.rn
7 no i
7 10 I
7 il I
.111. p.tc.
U 4 M!
i : :;4
! .si 4
J M i 1.1
ar Uld'.rvv Iv
Mill lluhen
IJroyliinii
Ml, oris Mills
lllua Kock
i urrier
HriN'kwuyv'l
Lanes Mills
McAl mil Mnt
Hurveys Kiln
Iv I'ull C'k ii r
Iv llultois ur
7 i0
7 on
7 Oil
01
i .17
I 47
I i
1 M
it .Ii
ii 10
1 10
t 01
I .14
1 Ai
1 47
I 4.1
I ::i
I -m
i'i
I IA
I Oi
i : u 4 M
I. H 4 i!7
-' -0 4 41
13 0 4 ft I
12 M 4 AI
0 00
I OI ft 02
i ;o ft in
I 3.1 ft lift
7 4.1
7 i:
7 .11
7 ftl
a on
HJ0
a Oft
Ih
4ft
u ;)
ti M I 1.1 II .1.1 ur I- al Is I "U Iv
It 13 12 A2 U :m Ueyiiolilsvlllu
A t" 12 24 ft 00 IfrooLvilin
4 AO II 47 New llelhl'in
4 01 II 10 He.) Hank
I IA
I 113
1 All
2 .IH
8 30
A ,IO
S 12
A 27
II 00
II 4.1
7 ii)
9 40
10 111
t lio II oil Iv I'titsburgur 13 :iA
p.m. n. ui a.m. p.m. p.m. p.m.
I'm- rime l.u bios una adtlltlouul liiformaLluu
consul I th'kul auuuu.
W. W. ATTKtlHUKY. .1 U. WiaiH
Uen'l Manaviir, IW Tnittic Mxr.
OKU. W. IIUYII, liun l PaM-uifer Auuni.
)ubcrlb for
The -X- Star
If you want th Nw