The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, November 22, 1899, Image 6

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    OLD-TIME HUSKINQ SEES.
Memory oftea take an oatlns
From the prwent passlnu- "how
Bprnad hnr pinion and goes scouting
To the soenes ol long airo.
Bank unto the fun and frolln
Of the rural sport and plays,
Pleasures charmlng-lv buoollo
That wnro ours la younger day,
And t ho very ehiof of I hone
Wore the country husking boos.
On the old bnrn floor we'd irnthor,
Hoy mid Klrls aud older folk,
Hearts n llxht us downy feather,
1.1ns all rim with matin Joke.
Air Jn-t np.irkllnir with our liiuichtar
Am the Kuy hour onward sptid
I'mil every cohnoMiod rnftor
In the shadows overhead
Hnmnud to quiver nnd to rtnir
A ll liiKli-keyed fiddle string.
Now nml then the air was riven
With a shout I'd wnke the cloud,
Tolling thut the fnte had Kivnii
Home lnd ens mi ear of rod,
Then would cmno thu kissing struggle
A A A A AAA A A A -A A
WHY IS A JELLY-FISH?
A WOMWHFITI.
BY F. W.
You little children of today, who
are so wise in school-room lure, may
object to the title of my story, "Why
i a jelly-fish?" I hear you day in
scoffing tones, ",Vby, be 'uuse it is,
of course, just like a Hutu or an '
oyster; it just is a jolly-fish?"
But I nm going to give yon the
answer that the Japanese fuiry-tales
give to the brown-eyed little ones of
old Jnpnti. Von know how very old
Japan is so it is quite likely that in
her pust history she would have seen
the very beginning of ninny things;
aud alio says t lint the jelly-fish wns
not always the holpleNS, quivering
mass that you see lying helplei-s
among the bright hned shells and
shining pebbles on the soashore.
Years and years ngn, when the
world was very young, tbe Japenese
fairy titles toll us thnt the jelly-fish
was far more active aud spry than any
of his finny brothers; for he, besides
his fius and tail, had tiny feet, which
enablod him to walk npou the land
with tho utmost ease mid grace.
I do not mysolf believe that his brain
was vory active; for I think that any
fish yes, even a clam would today
be wise enough to escape the horrible
fate by which one silly jelly-nib.
ruined a whole race of active, agile
creatures. For jimt see what
happened.
The old king of the dragons, who
had for many years beeu a cross,
cranky old bachelor, fell in love with
and married a beautiful young
drugoness. Ho lovely wns she, with
sea green eyes, coral lips, and yellow
hair, that it was no wonder tlie old
king adored her. Great wns tho re
joicing throughout all the kindgoin at
the marriage festivities. Kvory fish
that could swim, from the least to the
gentest, enmo bearing beautiful gifts.
But the clams and the oysters were
considered in those dnvs the wise
men of the kingdom; aud royalty even
deferred to thoin, waiting for hours at
a Mine for them to open tite r months
on grave questions of state. So, they
never left home, bnt received in great
cereinoiiv in their own domains. To
them, ntteuded by a long train of
courtiers, composed of the finest
scholars in all the schools of fish,
went the dragon king nnd his win
some bride;and so everyone in Dragon
Land welcome 1 the sovereigm(itnd nil
was joy. lint, alas! this happiness
was too great to Inst! At the zeuith of
tbe honeymoon the sweet young
dragon queen became mysteriously
illiquid iu spite of constant care from
the best doctors in the realm, she
pined away, and seemed about to die.
One day, in a voice as soft as a fish's
brentb, Hhe said to her husband: "In
a dream I learned of what will cure
me. Fetch me the liver of a live
monkey, and your little periwinkle"
for so the king had often called her
in a tender motuout "will get strong
again." "The liver of a live monkey,
periwinkle of my heart!" cried the
astounded king. "Why, monkeys
, live fnr away, among the great forests
on the la ml! Tuuy, poor things, can
not swim nor live in the water
kingdom of the dragons! Heart's
periwinkle you must be mud!"
Then the young queeu monued and
Bobbed: "Ah! it is true wbat mamma
sa d. You never loved mel One
little thing I uk, to save my life; aud
you will not givo it to inu. Go awny!
Disport among fairer und younger
dragonosses!" In great distress the
drngon king sought cou::solumong the
scholars of the juily-fiah school, und,
after listening to tbe strange fancy of
their idolized quoeu, the bravest
among then raid :
"Listen, O dragou king! I will
swim across the waters, and climb the
forest hills; nnd so sweetly will I sing
of the beauties uud delights of Dragou
Land thut I will entice the monkeys
from the tree tops, aud they will all
clamor to return with me. But I w ill
choose the plumpest uud the youngest
and bring mm on my buck to your
aUgltSt (ll'HgOUHUlp.
"Do. thin," fiuid the dragon king,
aud the choicest toiul house, inlaid
with pearl, uud the most rudiuut
dragouess in the kingdom shall be
yours!" rio tho gallant jelly-fish started
on his "uivor Quest." He Kwiftly
warn aoross the wuter; nnd fortune
always fuvo's the brave just where
be happened to land stood a grove of
trees, aud up iu the top of one he saw
beautiful young monkey. He knew
by the monkey's uheerful face, and the
eujoyuieut with which he was eutiug
nuts, that his liver was in good shape.
Bo he coiumo.ioo.l his begi'liug
talk:
"O Mr. Monkey, jump down from your trel
f'nmt, oroM the beautiful witter with me!
Taste shall you see a beuu.eous laud,
'Mid the husks npon the floor,
After whloh the girl would snuggl
To him oloer than before,
Blushing to her finger tl
From the thrill born on her Hps.
How the happy picture lingers
With n through the fleeting year
Of the way the toll scsrred Angora
Knatohed the lockets from tho ear.
Of the flashing lanterns hanging
'Hound, and casting fllrker o'er
Merry dancers who were banging
Dust from out the old barn floor
As the fiddler jerked his bow
Museularlv to and fro,
Every day I hear the singing
Of Home dear old rural ode,
Melody of yonthdnys ringing
Through our mouritalnluiid abode.
And my loving glances wander
Tot hut happy wifely faeo
That I li-arnud to love twk yonder
In that far east country place,
Hhe 1 nil the world to moi
Found h"r nt a busking bee.
A A. AAA
TALK OF JAPAN.
REMY.
Whore fruit-trees and nul-trees grow stately
and grandi
And man, who Is always annoying yon here.
That radiant country does nevercome near."
The monkey, entranced by this
lovely song, forgot the ties 'of his
home, and clambering quickly down
from his perch, said: "I accept yonr
invitation. Lend me your battling
suit."
"No," snid the wily jelly-fish.
"Jump on my baok, and I will take
yon there. It is not fitting that a
guest to my king shonld even wet his
worshipfnl feet." Now yon know
how impulsive a monkey is, and also
how clever. Ho it is no wonder that,
after they had started, the monkey be
gan to think and wonder if he had
not been acting unwisely in trusting
himself to this stranger. Ho he put
on his most winning manner, and
ottering the jelly-fish bis Inst nut,
said: "How clever yon are! You
wnlk so beautiful on the shore, and
swim with snch ease in the water! If
all yonr people nre so smart, why
should yon care to take such a clumsy
creature as I to your beautiful
country." And now the jolly-fish,
who had become very tired of carrying
his heavy load, and also was not loath
to show that his brain was quite as
clever as his shell, felt that he could
safely tell his real reason for taking
the monkey on this journey. "Oh!"
said he, in an airy manner, its he shook
the salt drops from his tnil and wiped
the water f torn his eyes with one tiny
foot, "Oh, I forgot to mention that,
although Dragou Lund is far more
lovely than I unve ever told you,
your visit will be short. His majesty,
the dragon kin, really wishes for
your liver, that it may be ma le into a
medicine for his wife, the lovely yonng
queen."
Now the shell of the jelly-fish was
so thick in those davs that he could
not feel the shiver of fear that shook
the monkey from head to tnil, and the
roar of the waters drowned the gasp
of horror that the monkey gave.
He only heard him say: "I ask
nothing better than to yiold np my
cbettoring, frivolous life for the sake
of the queen of the dragons, the fame
of whose biauty has mounted to the
tops of our highest trees. But, nn
fortunately, 1 left ray liver hanging
on the brunch of the tree in which 1
was playing. You see a good liver
and mine is of the best is too precious
a thing to curry about with one; nnd
so I usually take mine out when I am
playing, and only put it iu when I am
ready to go home. I am so sorry to
ask you to go baok for .1 Hut, you
see, I would be of no se -vice to the
queen at present, unless." n. sudden
thought seemed to strike him,
"unless my heart, lungs, or brains
would be of use. All I have is
ners!"
No," said the jelly-fish: "only a
liver. We must go back for yours.
I wish I had told yon at first what I
really wanted yon for. but I had no
idea you tree dwellers were so good
natnred." The jelly-fish was so ill
iinturel on the return trip that he
chose tho roughest course he
could, and the moukey became
very sea sick before they reuohed the
shore ugnin.
"Now hurry up yonr liver!" called
the jelly-fish, as the monkey bounded
f.'oin his back as soon as tliey touched
(he shore of Mi nkey Laud.
Up to the topmost brunch of the
tree climbed the moukey in less than
no time; und then, after scrambling
abont in the brandies, and making a
great fuss, he called out: "1 cuuuot
find my liver anywhere. Some one
must have stjlen it, or perhaps my
mother has taken it home to keep it
Hafely for me. I will go and look for
it; but yon had hotter go home and
tell your king about it, or he miry be
worried about yon. Come for me to
morrow at this time, and I'll have my
liver all ready and waiting for you."
Of course, you all kuow what the
silly jelly-fish never dreamed of,
thut the monkey hud no intention of
giving np his liver for uuy dragon
queen, ana that he was chuckling to
himself at the ease with which ho had
fooled tbe jelly-fish.
But the jelly-fish started off iu high
good humor, and hastened to thu
dragou king with a glad heart. What
was his auiu.etueut, however, wbeu,
after tolling the kiug all that hud
happened, he boheld hisbtiny mujesty
fiy into ' fearful rage.
Ho wild with fury aud disappoint
ment did the king become that he
culled to hia "o Ulcers of shell-fish
law," the sword-fish and the whale,
and bade them deal with the jelly-Ush
to the fullest fUeut of the law.
'Away with this Lai uac'.e of stupidityl
Bent him to a jelly! Let no bono, no
smallest bit of shell, remain nnbrokenl
May his feet, hia fins, his eyes, yes,
and his liver all become one shapless
mass!"
Ho the officers seized him, and did
as the king commanded; and that is
why, at this late dny, jelly-fishes have
no bones, are nothing bnt a pulpy
mass. And the dragon queen? Why,
would yon believe it? When
she found that she could not have a
liver from a live monkey, she simply
made np her mind to get well witbont
It, especially after she hoard two
young star-fish talking, as they glided
pnst her pearl window one night, of
the 1 eanty and charm of a young
dragouess who hnd just been presented
to the drngiu king by her match
mnking and farsoeing parents.
Christian Register.
QUAINT AND CURIOUS-
A yonng man in Bnflnlo, N. Y.,
from some impulsive freak, took it
into his hnd to save all his cents. He
wearied nfter two years when he got
1200 of them nnd tried to sell them, I
but nobody would buy even at 80 cents
on the dollar. Home shopkeepers in
timated that he might linve bean rob
bing poor boxes, and the agony of the
young man is not to be measured by a
boxful of cents.
They say thnt on Moosehend Lake,
Maine, an augler recently was fishing
with a steel rod during a thunder
storm nnd struck a trout at the some
instant that a thunderbolt dallied with
his rod. Tho cork handle prevented
the angler feeling anything more thnn
a slight shock, but when lie hauled it
in he found tho tro it stone dead. He
figured it out that the lightning bolt
followed the rod and the enameled
line down to where the front hnd jilfit
taken hold of the hook, aud there
killed him.
A workman drove a wagon loaded
with sixty gallons of nitro-glyceriuo
into Van Bitren, I ml., the other dny
nnd dismounted totrunsnct soran busi
noss. The horses became frighteued
and ran down the principal stee t of
the town, causing n panic. Citizens
ran from their ollices and stores, de
serting thoir business aud seeking
safety by getting a distance from the
wngon, which wns expected to explode
every second. Finally the horses
broke loose from the wngon and left
it standing iu the street.
English police report the strange
death of a valuable horse belonging
to the Lancashire & Yorkshire Rail
way company, which had boon placed
iu a field under suspicion of madness.
At midnight it es'-npod from the field
aud kno-ked up the landlord of the
Fielden Arms by battering his front
door w ith its forefeet. Driven thence,
it wns seen to try to scale several cot
tage bedroom windows, and being nt
length enptnred by the village con
stable nnd sundry helpers, nnd placed
in another field, it dashed away at a
gallop and leaped madly into the
swamp, breaking its neck against a
brick culvert. .
It has just been mndn public thnt a
find of incalculable value to science
was made a a stone quarry m ar Akron,
Ohio. The find i (insists of the skela
ton of a gigantic man, believed to
hnvo lived in prehistoric times, and
reli s of a time w hen civilization wns
just beginning to dawn. In clearing
awny refuse qnarrymeu found the
almost complete skeleton of a man
The skull was entire and the lower jaw
bone of such proportions us to easily
fit over the outside of the jaw of the
largest modorn man, ertebrio were
found, as were also ribs and femurs
and the large pelvis bone, which was
broken in two. It is believed the man
must have beeu at least ten feet in
height.
Gwandn in Africa, which contains
between 10,000 and 15,000 inhabitants,
is surrounded by a palisade of trre
poles, the top of every polo 1 eing
crowned with a human skull. There
are six gate, aud the approach of each
gate is laid with a pavement of human
skulls, tbe tops being the only part
that shows above ground. More than
2000 skulls are used in the pavement
leading up to the gate. The pave
ment is of snowy whiteness, polished
to the smoothness of ivory by the
dni'y passage of hundreds of naked feet.
Among other curious materials which
have been used for pavements may be
mentioned molasses mixed with sand
and compressed into blocks; horses'
! teeth set in cement, granulated ork,
i India rubber, shells, steel and glass.
A pavement of grass blocks has boeu
laid in the city of Lyons, France.
The costliost macadam on record is
thut whi.'h ouce paved the streets of
Kimberley, South Africa. It was so
thickly studded with diamonds that
gems worth millions were taken from
it,
Traveling In Java.
A man who has been traveling in
Java thus writes about the Dutch
colonial railways. He says: "Trains
are used in Java, not on account of
their speed, but on aocount of the
loug distances oue hue to cover. If
you lire iu a hurry and you haven't
more than live miles to go walk.
You insy find some difficulty in keep
ing up to the train if it is going down
a stilt gradient, but you will more
than make this up on the nut, as
you'll romp past it ou eomiug to the
slightest ascent. It is a solemn fact,"
he coutiuues, "that ouce iu the course
of a mile walk along a highway run
niug parallel with the railway line I
ouught up to aud passed a 'suel' (ex
press train). Toward the mil of the
walk I entered a shop to j"rohnse
ll article, and ouly after I had been
in the shop ten uiiuutes did the traiii
again pats wa," Fiutng Gazette.
tlOR WOMAN'S BENEFIT.
I
j A ?Te Held for Women.
' The widow of the former Governor
Atkinson of Georgia lie entered the
, ranks of business women ns a general
stnte agent for fire and life insurance
companies. Hy t he dentil of her hus
band Mrs. Atkinson was lo.it with five
children to support and edtlente, and
it -ns with this imrposennd also with
the object of opening a new field of
labor to women thnt she undertook
the work.
Winter Waist nml llndtrc.
Odd waist and bodices have
to be nn accepted nnd essmitinl
of every woman's wardrobe, so
come
part
it is
well to bestow a little thought upon
the general cfl'oct, and in selecting
material nnd trimming to have those
which match the skirt in color. This
applies to tho dressy bodice. A shirt
waist in winter is usually made to
wear with jacket suits and should
contrast prettily. LadioV Home J our-
n n I.
The Diversion of Cnlian flr1.
An American girl who. made a visit
to Cuba recently was struck by the
mild form of entertainments indulged
in by the Cuban dnmscls. They have
no games and bicycling is not con
sidered proper except for extremely
young girls. Dancing is one of the
few pastimes in which they enjoy
themsulvos, and concerts are always
well attended by the young women,
accompanied by thoir duennas. Ou
Sunday afternoon tho well-to-do Cu-
n .takes his family for a drive
around the Frndo, w hen the women
vie with each other in displaying the
latest fashions.
Til OulM llrl.
The quiet girl never wears high
colors in the streets; you do not see
her Haunting in brilliant checks when
they happen to be in stvle. hen
high hats are in she does not pile hoi s
so high thnt it sweeps the cobwebs
from tho sky. She does not wear the
longest train to hor tea gow n, nor the
greatest number of bangles when ban
gles reign.
Bnt because she does not chatter
and giggle and make herself couspicn
ous at mntiuces, di es not nnuouuee
her convictions on nil occasions and
on all subjects, and irofess her ad
miration at every hand's turn, it must
not) e supposed that she has no ideas
or convictions or eutnusiiivm. hue is
quiet because she has no power to
ninke herself henrd, to change her
condition or because, she is luuturing
thnt powei.
In the meantime it is the quietest
girl who marries earliest, who makes
the I ost match, who fills the inches
which her more biilliunt sis tors leave
vacant; who manages the servants
i nns the sew ing machine, remembers
the birthditvs, listens to the l eminis
cences of the old, nnd often keeps the
wolf lrom t'je door. Woman a Lite,
Twentieth Ontury Fiibrl'.
There are signs thnt in the twen
ticth century the hnnii lespider, whose
crenlive talents hnve loug been w asted
in spinning ondless trap--, to. cutcli
miserable little Hi. s, will bo promoted
to a higher sphere of usefulness, nc
cording to n writer in Cnssell's Mega
ziue. He seems predestined to iur-
uish tlte lovelier part of humanity
with her most choice apparel, although
the skeptical might fnucy that a dress
of cobweb, however suitable to fairies.
would scarcely pass muster iu tbe City
of London. Adopted by man and re
lieved from the necessity of en-ning n
precarious livelihood by expodieuts of
doubtful morality, tho spider is calm
ble of much. Already Oe French
military balloonists are lire ding and
taming spiders to yield fibers for their
balloon cords. About a dozen tamo
spiders furnish tho libors to niulie
thread. The spiders are placed iu
machine nnd the fiber is drawn out
automatically a certain length nt
time. These fiber nre pink in color,
and nfter 1 eing washed to remove the
sticky matter on them, are united
in a thread, and tlioso t memls nre
spun into cords for the balloons.
which, for their woight, nre much
stronger than silk. Hevernl species
of the imects nre adapted for this
domestication, but the most promis
ing is tho "Hum n, or silk Bpider,of
Wadugu8cnr.
Novelty lit Tucking-.
A novelty thut seems to be making
something of a sensation is a st. le of
tucking employed hugely by the 1'nii
siun modistes. The tucks uro no
larger than a cord, uud are not straight
nor yet on tho bius, but iu decon.tive
groups following u given outline.
They are not possiblo excepting upon
very supple cloth, such ns crepe ile
chine, soft cashmeres, heuriettas, etc.
A serpentine band-of tucks is very
pretty waviug up aud down near the
bottom of a skirt or tunic. One gown
that has lately boon imported is a per
fect uiurvel ol the needlewoman's
ct aft. Down the front of the skirt
is ti pnnel, and on either side of this
the oloth is worked up into a mass of
spiral scrolls iimtie as described, of
tiny nicks. 1 lie sleeves are simply
tucked ou the bias. A u other skirt of
light cinder-colored cloth hud n w ide
hem nrouud the bottom. Above the
hem were foil) teen or fifteen rows of
tucks iu the shape of largo scallops.
This is a mere trille, but such an im
portant one. After all, detuils of this
kind give the stamp of dute ns well as
of good taste to u gown. F.veryoue
knows when a certain sort of trimming
came into vogue nud whether or not
it is a last year's novelty. Hoi oiled
and curved tucks are rather dilllctilt
matters to handle, even by professional
modistes; applique, on the contrary,
that is so striking aud ao attractive,
cs, with a little rare, be done at
home so that it will stand favorable
empaHson with tbe imported articles,
which, by the way. are so exorbitantly
high priced that only women with un
usual means can afford to indulge in
them.
Women in thu Klondike.
The chivalry of American men has
received ninny testimonials from the
women whom a love for trnvel and ad
venture has led to try their fortunes
in tho Klondike. A mining ramp is
too npt to bo no place for women, and
a woman unprotected by husband or
brother might well have hesitated be
fore running risks of insult. The
event, however, proved the jnetlce of
the confidence of those who went.
One woman, the correspondent of
nn impoitant London paper, wns on
her way to Houtlle when she met nn
old miner and asked his advice. The
man shook his head wisely.
Impossible, he said,
"lint I must go," said his question
er. "I bave started and my paper is
relying npon mo. . I nm safe enough,
for I haven revolver and I know how
to use it. "
"Wal," drawled her adviser, "see
nig that you're a woman, if you want
to go, you'll go, bnt as to that air gun
o' yonrn, I'll give you a piece of ad
vice. Don't shoot often; but when
yon do shoot, shoot quick."
Hitch a precaution was anything but
comforting, but the sequel proved
that the revolver was of no more nse
to the traveler than if she had been in
Chicago or New Orleans. The cour
tesy shown her was universal, and
throughout her journey there was no
man she met who would not go out of
his way to do her a service.
Professor Angolo Heilprin, a fellow
of the Koyal Geographical society, has
a similar "good character to give the
miners of the Klondike.
"Woman," he says, "is a privil
eged chnracter in Dawson City. Hhe
hns immediate entree into the deposi
tories of mails, of records aud of
claims. Otheis may sit or stand,
awaiting their turn for days in a row;
she wnlks in by the side door with an
air of superiority which is as impres
she as it is refreshing. Hhe files her
claim in the recorder's office with dig
nity, while her trousered rival, who
may hnve stnked five days eurlier, is
still studying the entrance from the
outside."
tlntinonla reiTnme.
As much thought should be given to
the blending of perfumes of flowers ns
to colors. A vase full of diilerently
scented flowers can never emit a
wholly satisfying result. The strong
er scent, while being au'ucted by nil
the others present, aud therefore los
ing its purity, will in the end pre
dominate. Imagine, on the other
side, the sweet white violet, whose
oiior is so faint and elusive as to be al
most imperceptible, being placed with
flowers of stronger frngrunce. As far
as any gratification to the human
sense is concerned, nature might as
well not hnve endowed it with this
charm. The only wny to en;o.y this
little flower is to gather a large bunch
and thou to keep them separate from
all others.
As a rule, it is not well to place
more than two scented flowers to
gether, and even then they should be
selected with care. Of these, inignon
ctle nnd sweet pea may be mentioned
ns combining exteniely well. The
perfume they emit is no stronger than
thnt of the individual blossom, but it
is sweeter. Iu fact, wheu these two
flowers arc grouped proportionately
together oue is reminded on iubaliug
them of the frngrnut peach.
Heliotrope and lemon verbena form
another delightful combination, with
nu elemout of refreshment, for dnrk
eued summer rooms. A few bouquets
of these flowers, instead of niukiug the
atmosphere heavier, seem to clear
away some of its sultriness. The
lemon verbena should be a bled judi
ciously; a little over the right amount
mid its odor soou destroys thut of
heliotrope.
Hardly anything more lovely can be
imagined for a bouquet than the open
ing buds of the blush lose and a few'
shoots of honeysuckle. The deli
cate fragrance of the rose to temper
nud render even more luscious the
honeysuckle's strougor sceut. I
Large, heavily scented flowers
should bo used in moderation. Lit
tle can be done in the w ay of combi-1
nations to make their odors loss op-1
pressive. It is always best to keep
them separate nnd in a place through
w hich a current of air pusses. ew
York I'ress.
;l-Hliinu from Ilia htmp.
A profusion of steel, rh.uiestone,
pearl nnd jeweled ornaments for mil
linery uso.
Mmiv nAiv .lnuirvnu to black fdinn.
n! .;i, i l.r,.,l r m.tivoi
dotted centres.
t nl.tn- b, llM ba,lt
with variously shaped revurs and high
luedeci collurs.
lltissinu suble capes finished with
wbito satin rovers overium wiiu ueavy
poiui ue veu.se.
Bright red empress aud ieibeline
cloth costumes elaborately stitched
for children's wear.
Silk petticouts uiado with rich luce
flounce headed by rows of insoitiug
iu a matched putteru.
rJhort carriage coats having their
edge cut iu irregular scroll design
with lace iucruBteU revere and Lull-
shaped cull's.
I ur neck pieces finished with high-
pointed collurs from which depend a
series of fur balls or tassels.iustead of
tue regulation tuns.
Girls' suits made up of blue serge
skirt and round waist composed of
blue aud white chocked tull'eta with
trellis work yoke of ribl.0n.-D17
uoous economist.
THE PARSON'S LIMIT.
He'd been preaching and exhorting
For a seors of years or so
In n portion of the Vineyard
Where the harvesting was slow)
Where tho temporal Inducement
For his eenstdesa dlllR-enee
Wns a promise of four hnndred
For hln yearly reoompense.
Unrelenting was the ardor
Ho devoted to the cause, ,
And though slowly came the dollars
Mil ll he labored without iiattsn,
Till one day they came anil told him,
As hn kicked against tho pricks
That they'd rnUfd their ottered stipend
From four hundred up to six.
Then the good man sank exhausted
As he fi'ehly made roply,
"Don't, I pray you, meu and brethren, ,
Thus my patience overtry,
For to Kh un the four you've promised
Hath so warped my vital store,
That 'twould kill me If you taxed mo
To collect two huudred more."
lloston Courier.
HUMOROUS.
A note of great interest L O. U,
fl 00 at 8 per cent.
"Don't you admire football, Clara?"
"I detest it. I'orcy'a got his collar'
bone broken, nnd 1 can't put my head
ou his shoulder for a month.
Hicks There is one thing yon can
ssy with truth about I'inclikor. He
always keeps his word. Wicks Anil
anything else he gets bold of.
Ethel (studying grnmmar) H
Reggie, if a man druggist is a pll
mactst, what would vou call a won
druggist? Reggie A pharmacistei
of course.
"What wo need," said the edit
"is higher criticism." Thereupon
issued orders to have tbe hook ie
viewer and the dramatic eiitio giveiJL
ollices on tbe top lloor. .
"I bought a poor tramp some coffee
and doughnuts this alternoon," said
theshoe-cleik boarder, proudly. "Very
good idea. Buying sinker for a llout
er," said the Chceiful Idiot.
I. If Is but a little story,
I'linctuuted Iu the main,
With commas of our happiness
And periods of our pain.
He (telling a hair-breadth adven
ture) And. in the bright moonlight,
we could see tho cark muzzles of the
wolves. Hhe breathlessly Oh, how
glad you must have bedu thai they
had the muzzles on !
"Do yon," snid the notary, "swear
that yon will tell tho truth, the whole
truth, and" "Oh, ln;w lovely!" the
fnir witness int i nipteil. "Shall I
really be allowed to talk ull the after
noon if I want to?" '
Grimes Hee herp.Smith.why didn't
you call lust night? I told you my
daughter wns going to sing some of
her new songs, and you seemed de
lighted. Smith 1 was delighted to
know she was going to sing.
"These dialect storus make me
tired," remarked Noorich. "What's
the matter now?" nskul his wife.
"Why, when a linn writes 'sich' or
'sech' for 'such' that's ull right, but I
draw the line nt 'I svehe. "
Mr. Brugg I got n wiivless mes
sage from Hun Frnm-isco this morning.
Mr. Wise Bnt i didn't know Mar
coni's system would enrry io fur. Mr.
Brngg Marconi didn't limn naylhiug
to do with it. Jt m i:o by mail.
"What do you rhnrg to wash a
shirt?" inqnired the man nt the coun
ter iu the liiuuilry. " A hut kind of a
shirt?" nsked tho clerk, wilh his mind
ou ontiug shirts, di ess shirts, negli
gees, nnd the various other possibili
ties in thut line. "A dirty shirt," re
plied the mnn.
The Kemlnln-OIierv.r.
A woman's clnb is made np of
"don'ts" and dne,
Whioh is worse the bicycle face or
the football hair?
A woman is always lending the
fashion hints and llien giviug her
husband a few.
Wo often wonder what (ft her sort of
trouble would trouble us as much as
the sort wo littvo.
A widower alwnys argues that the
reason he marries a socond time is
out of compliment to his first wife.
Fashionable sleeves are so small
thnt it would bo nn utter impossibility
for women to wear their hearts in
tlinm.
A. man never feels that ho is really
getting old until ho has lost his desire
to rnu to every fire iu the neighbor
hood.
No matter how loudly a mnn snores,
lie never acknowledges thnt he is
sleeping; he is only thinking with his
eyes shut,
Hinull eyes are snid to indicate cun
ning, particularly when they are in
needles and must be threuded with
coarse cotton.
With the coming of winter a man
bus the joyous satisfaction of knowiug
whore hia ueckties are to be found, as
his shirtwuist wile and sister have no
special use for theui at this season.
1 "e.pnia nies,
'lilii Iln not Want Opium.
Tho Chinese on the west coast of
New Zealand have united with Eng-
i:BU eoiouil)ts to hold meetiugs, form
a committee and potitiou pnrliument
to suppress the import of opium into
the country. The Chinese are fewer
in number there than they formerly
o. almost all the opium used is
consumed by mem for smoking pur-
poses, aud this degradiug habit is in
creasing not ouly umoug themselves,
but among the Kuropeuu youths of
the colony, They, therefore, beg the
government to limit and control tbe
import of the drug. Almost all right
tlliuking men oml womea feel m.
,)athy with these people in their en.
;i,avor to check the use of the vile
drug We do not Wftnt to Uve upoa
our conscience but of the reproach
that still cliugs toithe mother country
ooncoruiug the M eed introduction of
opium into Cbiva. Correspondence V
ju uulc.go uccorfl
A