Why Not Re Happy, Today !
I have questioned my hopes of tho future,
I have doubted my dreams of the past i
J have roamed through tho malms of ombl
tlon, With vision too lovely to last :
I have lonired for youth's fondest Ideals,
But those hnntoms aro now fnr away,
And nt Inst fair Tpllosophy whispers:
" Oh, why not bo hnppy, today.''
Thoiiuh storm cloud may darkeu life's vol
Iny. And rah heart have mnw shadows of
earn,
Tho bright sun will soon Rlld tho heavens
And thy troubles will molt Into air.
80 what Is tho uso of repining?
No ! tho world does not eara for your whln
Inv. Ho why not bo happy, today?
Ah, tho old world at heart Is too solemn,
And life is at bst full of trial 1
Hut try to be elieerful, 'twill help you
If yon brlirhton all pathways with smile?,
Thn llfo will bo w ll worth tho living
Let kindness lllumlnnte Its wny,
And with hope's glMeil banners before us
Let's strive to b happy, today.
Larry Chittenden, In Form,.
THE PHANTOM VOICE.
Sitting on tbe veranda of his sum
mor resiilonco by nn inland lake in
Michigan, surrounded by his family
and guests, tbo venerable Judge Wat
tles told tho strangest story of bis
professional career.
"Immediately following my admis
sion to the bar," he said, "I was made
f prosecuting attorney, accepting tho
honor as a deserved tributo to my su
perior abilities. But you must bear
in mind that this was a good many
yearn ago in a little valley towu iu
Pennsylvania, whero wo wero liommed
in by the mountains and hud few with
whom to compare iu tho matter of in
telligence or attainments.
"Iu tho criminal auuals of the
comity thero wcro tho evidences of a
well-disposed community and it came
as a Htnrtling sensatiou when Farmer
Jenkins, driving homo Into ono night,
was beaten to insensibility and robbed
of a large sum of money. Here
was work for me and I went at it with
the zeal of nn umbitious begiuner.
Jenkins insisted that he would be able
to identify bin assailant, seen in the
dim moonlight that sifted through
the trees, describing him as a tail,
well-dressed young man with a dark
mustache and au angry red scar across
his left cheek.
"Why, I seed that air critter,' de
clared Constable Joe Huskey, 'I kim
on him suddou liko yisterday when I
was ttshin' at Punkey Holler crick,
Th' feller war in swimmiu' an' tolo me
he war jist outen the city fur a leetle
recreation. I'd kuow him 'mongst a
thousan'.'
"By employing competent assistance
from Philadelphia, we ran down our
man, Jenkins and Htiskey both recog
nizing him at sight, A few days after
the arrest and while I was working on
the case, a handsome, matronly ap
pearing woman walked into the office,
introducing herself as the mother of
' the prisoner, who had given the name
of Harry Winter. She bore the tin
mistukable marks of refinement, and in
brief statement, punctuated by con
vulsing sobs, assured me that a ter
rible mistake had been made. Harry
was her sou, her only support, and
she a widow. He was tbe aoul of
honor and had never given her an
hour's anxiety. Ho was with her the
night of the assault and robbery.
They had walked for an hour in the
evening, after which he read to her,
going to bis room at 11. It was a
pbysioal as well as a moral impposi
bility for him to hare done the great
wrong laid at bis door. Her story
greatly impressed me, but there was
the positive iudontification by Jenkins
and the oonstable.
"Less than a week later I bad an
other caller; a well-dressed man who
walked with a limp and who said ho
had been subpoDuaed by the defense to
show Winter's good reputatiou. But
nothing oould have surprised him
more, for he knew the aocused to have
a damning reeord. He declared that
he bad a full confession of that very
crime front the prisoner wbo bad re
lied npou the cripple as a loyal friend
aimply because they had met occasion
ally at the mother'a house, Tbisswept
away the doubts that she bad created,
convincing me that her dinging love
had overcome her regard for the
truth. I gained a promise from tbe
cripple that he would aay nothing till
oalled to the stand by tbe other aide.
"When tbe prosecution bad made
its oase at tbe trial I was entirely sat
isfied. Just after Jenkins and Huskey
had sworn point blank, as I kuew tboy
would, word reached me that tboro
was a private deteotive in tbe oourt
room wbo wanted Winter for a crime
committed in New York. This was
help from an unexpected source, aud
I soon bad it before tbe jury that tbe
ugly soar on Winter's obeek was made
by man defending his borne against
burglars. There was not a weak link
in the chain of evidenoe that had been
coilod about him.
"On bis behalf the testimony of the
weepiug mother msdo a deep impres
sion, but I was confident that the spell
she had put upon tbe twelvo men sit
ting in judgment would yield to the
cool deliberations of the jury room.
After several unkuown witnesses had
givon testimony tending to show that
Winter had led a reputable life, tho
man who had called upon me litnpod
to the stand, and I must confess that
I rejoiced at the anticipated confusion
of the defense.
"But there was a most unacounta
ble intervention. No soouer was tho
oath administered to the witness than
a voice from overhead solemnly warned
him to remember that ho bad made
sncred promise before his Maker to
tell nothing but the trnth. The pris
oner dropped heavily into his chnir.tho
jurymen went white as ghosts and tho
judge cast a troubled look about the
ceiling as if to detect tho bold offend
er. 'Order in tho court' was gruffly
demanded aud the case procoeded.
The first material question asked was
as to the character of the prisoner,
aud that samo phantom voice, this
time from the rear of the judge.callod
the collapsed witness byname and said
in measured tones: 'ltamumber that
the pains and penalties of perjury are
not iufliotod in this world alono, but
are imposed through all eternity.'
"The court whirled and gasped with
a terror that his pride sought vaiuly
to conceal. Au unknown dread was
upon mo and jurymon were stricken
with fright. Hard-headed and prac
tical old farmers as tbey were, tbe
superstition that had lain dormant
and dying through generations was
quickened into life. But it was the
witness who cringed and stared as
though in the presence of death. Ho
admitted a bitter enmity toward the
prisoner whose liberty ho had meant
to swear away, though called in his
behalf, and wound up by not only
swearing that Wiuter was a model
young man, but that ha was seen walk
ing with his mother by the witness on
tho night in question.
"I fult tbe ground 'slipping from
under me, but tbe dramntlo climax
was yet to come. From an open door
into one of tbe small adjacont rooms
hurried an excited man with striking
features and blazing eyes. He rushed
to the prisoner, embracing him as a
father might have doue, and then de
manded, rather than requested, that
his evidence might be taken. It was
to the effect that he bad been a captain
in tho Mexicau war, that Winter, then
a more boy, was a drummer whom the
captain loved as a father; that when
be was shot from bis borne iu a
charge, the boy gallantly fought back
the murderous Mexicans till strongor
assistance could como, and that thero
he had received the wound which loft
such a ghastly scar. The impetuous
witness even got in a statement that
thore must bo somo vile conspiracy
against Winter and wanted to confront
tbe privato detective. But he bad
disappeared. Tho jury acquitted with
out retiriug, and I thought thoir ver
dict a righteous one.
"One evening some years later,
when South on business, I found
time heavy on my hands and dropped
into a place of amusement. I was in
differently interested until that voioe
of the court room, whioh still haunted
my memory, came from an upper
oorner of the hall, I felt like run
ning, but, turning to tho stage, I saw
my hero of the Mexican war. He
tipped me a recognition and lator
went with me to tho hotel. There,
under plodgo of secrecy, be gave me'
tbe inside fuots of that mysterious
trial.
"The alleged mother, thd alleged
detective, tbe alleged captain, tho
cripple aud Winter were all members
of a shrewd gang of crooks operating
in the East. Winter bad committed
the robbery aud his pals bad put up
an elaborate scheme which saved him.
Tbey enjoyed many a laugh over the
manner in which tbey had 'done' tbe
'Rubes' up iu my country. Winter
was then doing a life sentence. Tho
'mother' was dead, the 'detective' fled
tbe oountry and tbe oripple went with
bim. The 'captaiu' was one of tbe
best ventriloquists of tbe day, and bad
become a 'pi'ofesaor'who made an bou
est living. It was bis voice, thrown
at will, that left us simple folks think'
ing that we bad enoountered tbe su
pernatural" Detroit Free Press-
Evidence, .
Crummer I kuow be oonsldors him'
self a self-made man, though he doesn't
say so.
. Gilleland How do you know?
Crummer Whenever I enter his
room unexpectedly I find him stand'
ing iu front of his looking-glass.
Truth.
Feats of Memory.
A case of an unusual memory which
is attracting much attention is the re
cent achievement of Secretary Car
lisle in Chicago. Mr. Carlisle's speech
on the flusnoes, which would fill eight
or ten columns of the Demoorat and
Chroniole, was delivered without man
uscript, and the speaker referred to
his notes only two or three times dur-
ng the whole of his address. As he
gave many figures and statistics refer
ring to this and other countries, tbe
performance must be set down as a
noteworthy one. It has, however,
been equalled or surpassed by other
men prominent in our public life. Ed
ward Everett, Charles Sumnor.Roscoe
Conkling and James Or. Blaine wcro
famous for oratorical efforts which
had nil the foroe and attractiveness
of extempore deliverances, but which
had been carefully prepared and mem
orized. Mr. Conkling had special
gifts in this direction. It was often
difficult for his hearers to persuade
themselves that his flights of elo
quence, flashes of wit, volleys of in
vective aud appropriate gestures were
not inspirations of tho momont.when,
in fact, they wore the finished product
of laborious preparation, aud, in some
cases, of private rehearsal. His great
spoecu in New York in the Garfield
campaign was n wonderful achieve
ment of memory and in oratorical art
that conceals art.
Mr. Blaine also knew pretty gener
ally well what be was going to say, aud
just how he was going to say it, before
delivering an important speech. It
long ago ceased to ba a secret that
on the occasion of bis last oppcaranco
iu Rochester be secured the attend
ance of au expert shorthand reporter
in his private room. The reporter
seated himself at a table, with paper
mid pencils, and Mr. Blaine, slowly
pacing the room, deliberately thought
out a dictated speech. A typewritten
copy of tho reporter's notes was im
mediately taken to the newspaper offi
ces, and a few hours later Mr. Blaiue
delivered tbe speech, word for word,
to a largo assemblage of people. Be
tween the dictation and the delivery
Mr. Blaine had many callers, and his
thoughts were diverted in other ways
by tho events of the day, but his mem
ory did not fail him. Although this
was by no means one of the most im
portant mental efforts of his life, it
was a peculiar and impressive one.
Bochestor (N. Y.) Democrat and
Chronicle.
A Sarcastic Sign.
Floods in lowland countries have
their humorous side as well as their
tragic ones. A gontloman recently re
turned from tho West relates a little
exnoriouco he had with a swollen river
iu Missouri. The oountry had been a
veritable swamp for somo days, aud
after traveling through it on horse
back for a week doiug business here
and there, ho says ho arrived at tho
bank of tbe river. Tbore was uo way
to cross it except by swimraing,so,dis-
mounting, ho tied his clothes to the
horse, and drove him into the river,
swimming after bim. Reachiug the
other side, he drossod ami continued
on bis way. Beforo going twenty foot,
however, be came to the forks of the
road, and not knowing tho correct di
rection bo wanted to go, be looked
around for a sign. There was none,
but just across the river, near tbe spot
be bad entered to swim across, be saw
a board nailed on a tree. Well, there
was nothing to do but to got in and
swim across again, as undoubtedly that
was the sign containing the directions.
He swam across, and after climbing
up tbe bank be read the following
notioe:
"Five dollars tine for crossing this
bridge faster than a walk,"
He says that under the circum-
stancs the sarcasm of that sign put him
in bad humor for the rest of tbe day.
Harper's Bound Table.
Obtrusive Solicitors of Alms.
London streets were rendered well
nigb impassable the other day by the
droves of girls and women soliciting
alms for the hospitals, says a London
correspondent. Even tbe suburbs
and tbe suburban railway stations
were invaded. One is prepared to en
dure a good deal of annoyanoa where
the hospitals aro oonoerned.but I ques
tion whether they reaped much advan
tage from this collection. Street
solicitation has beoome unbearable in
tbe metropolis. You are badgered
from morning till uight.all days in tbe
week, for charities which you never
beard of, and which probably never
existed. Tbe oousequeuoe is that tbe
legitimate charities suffer considerable
monetary damage. It is nigb time
parliament stepped in to define wbat
charities shall be allowed to make
street collections, and to fix stated
days in the year for such collections
to be made. New Orletnt Pioayune.
Hi
ltoriTit Axn Bourn.
Tho little boys In Labrador
Would stare If they could os
A erop of yellow oranges
(I rowing on a tree.
Tho llttlo boys In Florida
Deelare they'd like to know
How balls are made
And walls aro made
Of watery stuff like snow.
OX CAT DAT. ''K
It is a habit of the house, whenever
there has beon a wash day among the
cats, to give them a party iu tho even
ing; they have bows on their necks,
and are all brought to tho drawing
room, whero their balls are thrown to
thorn, aud as they are always iu a etato
of hilarious excitement when tho first
sleepiness of the bath goes off, a gen
eral frolic follows.
Some of them do not like the bow
at first aud try to twitch it off, but
soon como to take pride iu it, like the
bull-weather. .......,.....
Czarina, a truo Parisian in that re
spect, had lovo of adornment and
showed excessive coinplaceucy in her
neck ribbon, but at her kittens' first
party, when they ran to meet her,
after kissing them in turn she saw that
each had a bow aud boxed their ears
all around.
She had a little brass and velvet col
lar with a bell which she was allowed
to wear for the rest of tho day after a
washing. When tho bell was jingled
she would run and hold her neck to
havo the collar fastened, and then trot
about to bo soen and heard. She bad
a great deal of tbe love and admira
tion which I have observed iu cats.
New York Mercury.
WIIEM! DID rOTATOES COME FROM ?
Nobody knows precisely where the
potato came from originally. It has
been found, apparently indigonous, in
many parts of the world. Mr. Dar
win, for instauce, found it wild in tho
Chouos Arcbipolago. Sir W. J.
Hooker says that it is common at Val
paraiso, whore it grows nbundnntly
on the sandy hills near the sea. In
Peru aud other parts of South Amer
ica it appears to be nt home; and it is
a noteworthy fact that Mr. Darwin
should have noted it both in the
humid forosts of tbe Chouos Archipel
ago aud among tbe Chilian mountains
where sometimes ruin does not fall
for six mouths nt a stretch. It was to
the colonists who Sir Walter Buleigh
sent out in Elizabeth's reign that we
are indebted for our potatoes,
Ilerriot, who wout out with those
colonists, and who wrote an account
of his travels, makos wbat may, per
haps, be regarded as the earliest men
tion of this vegetable. Under tho
heading of "Boots," be mentions
what ho calls the "openawk." "These
roots," be says, "are round, some
large as a walnut, others much larger.
They grow on damp soils, many bung
ing together as if fixed on ropes.
They are good food, cither boiled or
roasted. "
At tho boginning of tho seventeenth
century this root was planted as a cu
rious exotio, in tho gardens of the
nobility, but it was long ere it came
into general use. Mauy hold them to
be poisonous, and it would scorn not
altogether unreasonably so cither.
Tbe potato is closely related to the
doadly-nightshade aud the mandrake,
and from its stems and leaves may be
extracted a very powerful tiarootic, Iu
England predudice against it was for
a long time very stroug, especially
among tho poor. Detroit Free Press.
city children's enyoysient.
Perhaps the children wbo have
plenty of sunshine, fresh air, mouu
tain streams and large lawns to enjoy
will appreoiate them more if they read
the following touching incident, writ
ten by Graoe DuOla Boylan for the
Chicago Journal:
Tbey came from tbe noisome alleys
and squalid tenemeuts along a mile of
misery edging South Clark street, aud
when they had been gathered under
the early morniug sky, and marshalled
in ragged, straggling files up to the
Polk street railway station and into
tbe long line of cars waiting to take
them out for holiday in the country,
I tbey numbered almost a thousand.
The Salvation Army officers were in
command) but thoir ten regimants
made up ns strange an army as has
ever been aeon since the piper of
Hamelin marched beforo bis host
For they wore little white-faced and
destitute children, who have nevor
seon a river running clear ns crystal
or shining pebbles or tbe sky bending
like a dome of sapphire, over their
heads and down to touch tbe green
and level land. The good women
planned the trip to Moineuco a month
ago, and not an invitation was de
clined.
Not one, did I say? Tbore was
just one. Little Giuletta Condi bad
beaten on tho doors of the barracks at
sunrise that very morning ; and when
they were opened had rushud sobbing
to the pretty young captain to tell her
that she could not go. Tbe wotnnu
nurse with the stripod dress and the
cool hands had been all night sitting
in the hot and poisonous air by Giul
etta's mother's bed, she explained ;
and she had told her to hurry back,
for if the priest did not get there in
timo it would bo something for the
poor mother to die holding fust to her
littlo hand. All this between short,
sharp sobs that shook the frail shoul
ders aud filled tho softblack eyes with
bitter tears. . -ys .
Tho little captain comforted her as
well us sho could, and with the power
bom of long experience iu just such
sorrows. But Giuletta was the only
one absent when tho time for starting
came. How they swarmed out of the
yellow coaches nud went over to
possess tho land that borders the
Kankakee I The land, indeed! They
had not been there five minutes be
fore they were dabbling thoir
pave-worn aud grimy littlo feot
in the water; and in an hour
thero wasn't a wild flower ungathered
or allowed to blush unseen for two
miles around. For the first timo in
their starved aud wretched lives they
knew what it was to be "knee-deep iu
June." Deeper, even, for tbe pink
clover aud tall grasses grew high, al
most to the tops of some of their
heads. That's what made tho trouble.
For a aniir of the air and a touch of
cool blossoms made little Paul Strauss
au upostle of freedom- He called his
brother Johnnie und told him of his
great scheme. They wouldn't go back
to the city ; they'd just stay right
there all summer.
"Eat," respondod Paul, "what we
eat iu dot towu? Nothiu'l Look at
iloiu cows; ain't dcre no fish.
Paul waved his hand oratorical!?
toward tho pasture aud theu toward
tbe river.
Ten minutes beforo train time tbe
officers in charge of tho excursionists
called tho roll, and found two hun
dred missing. Searching parties were
uunble to ifud tbom. Sharp whistles
from tho waitiug engine brought no
answer from tbo usually noisy throats.
Finally n deserter ran crying iuto the
exoited camp:
"Dey're out dere.undcr de bridge,"
he yelled.' "Dey's goin' to stay and
bo farmers!"
And, sure enough, bohind the low
abutments, aud under the shadow of
the bridgo were 100 children, while
deep in tbe field of clover anotbor 100
children lay hidden.
They wept and struggled desperately
at being taken out, and ploaded with
their captors to leave them where they
were.
"I don't want to go back," criod a
tall girl of ten or thoreabouts, piti
fully. "I can be good here. Oh, I
cuu bo good here. Let me stay."
"What cau you do, child J where
would you stay?" asked the captaiu,
kiudly, aud tho girl went reluctantly
toward the train.
Another, with an old face, pinchod
and eerie looking, under her tangle of
hair, said sententiously :
"Yo'd hotter let her stayed ! She'd
joe' sturve here, an' in town she'll hev
to get so many wollopins first."
Tbe tall girl beard her and turned
around.
"Yes," she said, as if tbe argumeut
was unanswerable. "An' I'd like to
die when I feel ao so sort o' clean.'
God pity her, and pity us all I Pa
cifio Eusign.
Odd Way to Learn Sews.
Tbe late Lord Lilford, in hia re
ceutly published work on tbe birds of
Northamptonshire, Eugland, tells this
story of a singular incident which 00
curred in one of bis frequent visits to
Spain: "I first learned," he says, "tbe
uews of President Abraham Lineoln'a
murder from a scrap of a Spanish
newspaper found iu a 11 est of tbe kite
by mv climber, Agapo, soar Aran
iuet"
BABES FOR BAIT.
How Ceylon Hunters Lure Hun
gry Crocodiles to Their Death.
Exposing Fatlnfant3 Temptingly
. On River Bank3.
Crocodiles like to ent babies not
their own awkward offspring, but
human darlings, fat and dimpldd. This
liking of the saurian for babies is used
by hunters in Ceylon -to luro the rep
tiles to their death. A niae, fat baby
is tied by the leg to a stake near some
pond or lagoon where crocodiles
abound. Soon the child begins cry
ing and the sound attracts tho croco
diles within hearing distance. They
start out immediately for the wailiug
infant.
Thobnntcrin the meantime con-
ceales himself in the bnsbos or swamp
grass near tbo baby, with a rills in his
hand projecting out and almost over
tho child. He remains perfectly quiet
and tho reptile, intent on its prey,
notices nothing but tbo screaming
and kicking child. As tho monster
approaches to within a few feet of the
bait tho hunter sends a bullot dircotly
into tho alligator's eye,causing instant
death.
A miss would mean death for the
baby, but the hunters are expert shots
and at the short distance at which
they fire a miss is noxt to impossible.
As a rule the sound of tbe firearm
scares tho baby worse than tho pres
ence of tho crooudilo's jaws and the
rows of sharp and glistening teeth,
but after being shot over a few times
tho child takes tho shooting as a mat
tor of course aud pays littlo attention
to it.
So expert aro many of the hunters
that they do not shoot the allligator
nntil it has approached to within a few
feet of the baby. Thou, with but a
few iuehca of spaoe botwoon the muz
zle of the rifle and tho eye of the alli
gator, the shot is fired that ends the
existence of the reptile and saves the
child.
A rpnnnfc fannA rtt A Cnvlnn fiAir
j i : 1 .1.. fit : l ..
tisoment:
WANTED Some very fat ohildre
as bait for crocodile uuntiug ; we guar
autee to return them safe und sound
to the homes of the parents. Apply
to So and So.
This advertisement, whioh is in
perted in all seriousness, makes its
svppearance regularly in the Ceylon
papers aud is said to bo productive of
pood results. But those Ceylonese
mothers must bo different from . most
raot.'jors, or elso they have a high
opiaioa of tbe ability and skill of the
mou who hunt crooodiles with human
bait
Ceyloc Lai many curious customs
and curious people It is best known
now as a oouitry ffvrn which tea is
exported. During relent yoara tbe
tea planters then havo beoome more
numerous, and vaions bmuds of Cey
lon teas are now widely advertised in
Europe and Amorioa. Tbe country
formerly raised more coffee than tea.
Many of the tribes that inhabit the
laturior of Ceylon are but partially
civilized. Tbe oldest of the abori
gines are the Veddas, Their language
has less than 100 words and they live
a pastoral lifo, bows and arrows being
their weapons. They have a primitive
form of government, tbe oldest man
In a settlement having a littlo author
ity by virtue of his age. Tbey are
truthful, however, and honest
There aro not now morothan 200 or
300 unmixed Veddas in tbe island.
whiab has a total population of about
2,000,000. Some of the tribes are
highly oivilizod. Tho oaste system
prevails there as it doos in mauy East
ern countries. Tbe richest man in
Ceylon is a butcher, and because of
bis caste, which is regulated by his
occupation, is not allowed to associate
with many families whose possessions
could bo hauled iu a hand cart.
Tho Blcyclo on the Farm.
Here'a an up-to-date inoident for
you. In a certain aeqnestered rural
neighborhood a small urchin drivea
tbe cows to and from pasture every
morning and evening, juBt as baa
been tbe habit of such urohins in
suoh neighborhoods since time inime-
mortal, cue limine me urcuins 01
times immemorial, and contrary to all
preoedent and established convention
regarding tbo mutter, this youth does
so upon a bioyole. He is dirty ant
tousled, is this youngster, not to speak
of being barefooted and out-at-knees,
yot bo skims along the country lauea
upon an 1390 high grade (100 wheel
This is what might be termed calling
tho cowa home with ull the modern
improvements. Who saya that there
is anything left for the bicycle to re
volutionize? Nw York Sua.