VOLUME 3.
KEYNOLDSVILLK, PENN'A., WEDNESDAY, JANUAKY 215, 181)5.
NUMBER 30.
OF UKYSOLltsriU.K.
CRPlTnU $60,000.00.
l lirtl. Presidents
Srotl VfrClclliind, Vice t'rt-ia.l
John II. Kiiiirlii r. t iixlili-r.
Director:
C. Mitchell, frntt McClclliinil. ,1. ('.Klnr,
.1i)t pit Stl-llU'-s, Josi pli I lenflt'l-soll,
(J. V. Iiillcr, .T. II. Kinii'lii-r.
Pin' n ircllel III llllillnrtilllncs llllil sollells
tile tii'niiiiitH of tiipirleinls. piofcsviontil mi'it.
fiirmers. nicclinttifi. tiilliri. Ititiiliciincn mill
oilier, irolillslii-j I ho inosl direful littcntloM
lO till' IHIHlllt'TsH uf till pel-sons.
Kllfo Pi'llnslt Hocs fof I't'lil.
I'llsl Nntliimil Hunk hill Ml ter, Nolnti block
Fire Proof Vault.
COME IN
Where?
TO TIIK
"Bee Hive" Store,
viii:ki;
L J. (llclintirc, & Co.,
Tim (.roneryinan, tloal.- in all
kinds of
Groceries, Canned
Goods, Green Goods
Tobacco and Cigars, Flour
and Feed, Baled Hay and
Straw. Fresh goods always
on hand.
Country produce taken in
exchange for goods.
A share of your patronage
is respectfully solicited.
Very truly yours,
Lawrence J. McEntlre & Co.,
The Grocerymen,
CHEAPEST
and BEST
GOODS!
Ever brought to our town in
Ladies'
Spring and
Summer
Dress Goods!
. Brandenberg never was
sold less than 20 to 25c. per
yard; will sell you now for
121.
Dimity,
Turkey Red Damask,
" 44 Prints,
Ginghams,
China i ilk,
121c
87
05
05
25
Better Goods than you can
buy any place else.
The same Great Reduc
tion in
Men's - and - Children's
CLOTHING.
Children's Suits, $.90
44 1.00
4 4 4 4 1.25
44 1.75
44 Single Coats, .50
Youths' Suits, $3.25 to 8.50
Men's Flannel Suits, 5. 50
44 Worsted 44 7.50
44 Fine Cheviot SuitB,
$6 to 9.50
A fine line of Men's Pants.
Come and examine my goods
before you purchase else
where. N. HANAU.
MY EYES FOR BEAUTY PINB.
Jly ryrn for fatuity pine.
My mill for tloiMi'.' uniee.
Nn other hnfm nor mm fa mine.
To heaven I turn my fnco.
Ono splendor tltm-p In nhvA
From nil Hip Htur nfaivp.
Tfa mimed when tlnd'a nnmn fa Mild.
"Tin lovo, 'tis hcnvruly lovo.
And pvery gentle honrt
Tlint burn with Imp ilealrn
Is lit from eye Hint mirror mrt
Of Unit celestial fin'.
, -Hufa.rt BrlilRp.
8UPERSTITI0N3 ABOUT TEA.
Qnmlnt Iilraa t'onrprnlm tin, t up That
Cheer, bnt IinrH tint Inchrlnte.
There nro probably moro quaint super
stition woven nbont ti n tlinn iibimt nny
thing elso In tho world. If you put
crenm in your cup beforo tlio sugar, it
will "crops your lovo," so you imiHt bo
very cnrefnl. If, whllo tho ton Is being
nindo, tho lid, removed to pour in tho
water, is forgotten to bo replaced, it Is
tlio sure sign of tho approaching arrival
of n stranger.
If n tea Ktalk floats in tlio cup, it is
railed n "beau," find when this is seen
unmarried women should stir their tea
very quickly round nnd round mid then
hold tho Fpoon upright in tho center of
tho cup.
If tlm "beau" is nl t:ehed to tho spoon
mid clings to it, ho will bo sure to call
Very slim tly, if imt nn that very even-in-;,
but if tho stalk goes to tho Fide of
tho cup, bo will not come. In notno
place i this is also raid lo doiinto tho
coming of n stvnn;:i r, nnd if t'.m stalk
is mft thn liowcinm r will bo a lady; if
toivili, n gentleman.
If yun want to know how many years
will flap'-o In foro you nro married,
Iv.iai'i'K yonr Fpoon on the edgo of your
rnp, Ili-it noting that it is perfectly dry,
fill nnother epoon wllh ten, mid holding
it nhovo tho balanced Fpoon let tho
drops of ten gal her to tlio tip of tho
spoon nnd gently fall into tho bowl of
tho ono bolow. Count the drops. Each
ono stands for n yonr.
If tho cluster of small nir bubbles
formed by tho sngnr collect nnd reninin
in tho center of the cup, it is a sign of
fair wont her. If thoy rush to the sides,
there will be rnin very shortly. Phil
adelphia Press.
Bobcrt Bnrns.
He wns born nnd brought up in the
midst of poverty and comparative iguo
ranca When, in 1867, Nnthnnlol Haw
thorne visited the poet's residence at
Dumfries and took notice of its filthy
and ninlodorous surroundings, he won
dered that Hums conld have preserved
bis marvelous gc-jins in such an unsa
vory spot. The author of "The Scarlet
Letter" was even more horrified at the
wretched aspect of Burns' farm at Moss
giol and could not compare the habita
tion in which the Scottish bard passed
o many of his days to a pigsty. "It is
ad," wrote Hawthorne, "to think of
auybody not to sny a poet, bnt any hu
man being sleeping, eating, thinking,
praying and spending all his home life
in this miserable hovel. " Ho praises the
"heroio merit" of Burns for being no
worse man amid "the .squnlid hin
drances" that beset the poet's moral and
intellectual development
Hawthorne was right Low associa
tions, bnd sanitary conditions and the
companionship of the vile are all but
fatal to humnn virtue. Burns was never
utterly degraded. He was always, in
spite of his failings, true man, and
his passionate love for his follow men
ontlived all his sufferings.
His relations with Jean Armour,
though they proved his frailty and hors,
were honorable to him in some respects,
for he loft nothing nndone to repair the
error of his youth. His intemperance
was rather the effect of his convivial
disposition than of any vicious tenden
cy. If be sinned, he paid the penalty,
one might say, with his life. His ca
reer terminated at 87, and, having re
gard to hit oirenmstanoes and opportu
nities, hia record as a poet la unparal
leled, for no man ever aohieved so much
aa Burns with so little aid from the
world and with suoh terrible impedi
menta in hia path. Westminster Re
view. What Ailed the Ipeoeh.
At the olose of one of the tea. 'ont in
the trial of Warren Hastings, when
most of those engaged had gathered in
the anteroom, Dr. Parr stalked up and
down the room in his pedantic, pompous
way, growling ont praiaoa of the
tpoechet of Fox and Sheridan, bnt say
ing not word about Burke's.
Burke, sensitive at thit omission and
anxious for soma commendation from
the great authority, could at last con
tain himself no longer and burst ont:
"Doctor, didn't yon like my speech?"
"No, Edmund," replied Dr. Parr,
oalmly eying hit exoited qnottiouer.
"Your speech was oppressed with meta
phor, dislooated by parenthesis and do
bililated by amplification I" Youth's
Companion.
A Phenomenon.
"Human beings cannot see in the
dark," remarked the teaoher.
"Sister can, " replied the small pupil
resolutely.
"Are you sure?"
"Yea'm. The hall waa dark the other
night, bnt lister knew that Mr. Jones
had thaved off hit mnstaohe before he
said a word about it "Washington
Star.
The wheat grown in southern conn
tries ooutains a larger proportion of al
buminoids than northern wheat and is
more suitable for maoaroni.
B0USA3 rjiwCt:-LiiJ2.
Ocnpral ftrliofl, I'nvny P.rmh
ti
the Comlm't iif nn Orchcutrik.
How Conductor Smisu was taken to
tnsk by General H.-lmdeld for his Inekof
discipline is told by tho Ban Francisco
Chroniclo.
The last echo of one of Bonsn's over
tures wns Just dying away over tho sand
hills south of thn fair grounds when
Ocnernl Schofiold stepped in front of
tlio bund nnd saluted tlio distinguished
leader. Bousn returned tho salute nnd
lent ono of his men to escort tho geuernl
up into tho band stand.
"That muslo was beautiful beauti
ful," exclaimed tho general as ho shook
Sousn's hand warmly. "I am astonish
ed, sir, that yon get such results with
so littlo discipline."
Thero Is nothing that Bousa prides
himself moro on than being ono of tho
strictest of disciplinarians, nnd ho was
naturally nettled at the general's criti
cism. "Why, general, tny men nro nnder
perfect control. I'm snro they nro thor
oughly drilled, nnd I can hardly believe
that there is any lack of discipline. I
have never noticed it. "
"No, that's just it; you don't spo it,"
persisted the general. "I saw It, though.
Do yon know that, as soon ns you turn
your back on one side of your band to
halto yonr I aton at tho oilier tl.-o fel
lows all quit playing? Of cmnv.e yon
don't seo if, for as soon ns yon turn
around they befjin injalii. "
Tho fun in this, nt the expense of tho
general, lies, of cours in tlio fact that
when a section of Hmiaa's men beeanio
Filent ns ho turned to tlio other was
when tho ninsio fo required Hut tho
general looked upon this Inpsn ns ho
would upon the suspension of a section
of his artillery when ho turned his at
tention to nnother part of the field.
CASSIUS M. CLAY'S MISTAKE.
now the Annn of Wliitr llnll Incurred tlie
C'xurlna'M UlrtpUiOHure.
However valuable nid Mr. Clay may
have rendered his country nt court
while in Iiussiit, his nutobiogrnphio
memoirs aro full of proofs that ho was
no more a trained diplomat than a
trained military man. One incident will
sufTico the story of how he lost the
favor of the czarina. Ono day he was
invited by the czar to Czarsko Belo, a
privato estate 18 miles in circumference,
containing forests and lakes. The czar
sont him for a drive in his carriage,
which, of course, bad tho royal livery.
The Princess Suwarrow, a member of
the royal household, had gone rowing
in a light bout and invited Mr. Clay to
go with her. It ennio on a rain, and the
princess won in a light summer dress.
It was thus necessary to go to shore at
once. But how was the princess to get
home?
Mr. Clay proposed that the should
take the carriage, and that ho should
find sholter under the trees till it re
turned. The lady teemed reluctant to
do this, but at length got in and drove
off. The result was that the was seen
driving in the czur't carriage Tho
czarina did not forgive Mr. Clay for
this. Mr. Clay afterward explniued the
oircumstanco to Princo Alexander Dol
gorouki. He says, "I saw tho priuoe
took my explanation in good part and
believed in my sincerity, but he smiled
in a tad way, which as much as said,
'It's all over with you.' "Washington
Star.
PetllMon's Little Adventure.
Pelllsson was frightfully ugly. One
day at he was walking down tho street
beautiful lady took him by tho hand
and conducted him into a houso olose
by. Dazzled by the lady's charms, and
flattering himself that thit adventure
oould not possibly entail any unpleasant
consequences, he had not the ttrongth
to offer any resistance. Hit fair captor
introduced him to the master of the
house, saying:
"Line for line, exactly like thit,"
whereupon the took her departure.
Pelllsson, on recovering from hit as
tonishment, demanded an explanation.
The master of the house, after tundry
apologies, confessed that be was a paint
er. "I have undertaken, " he added, "to
supply the lady with a pioture of the
'Temptation In the Wilderness.' We
have been debating for a couple of hours
as to the mode of representing the
tempter, and she ended by laying that
the wished me to take you. for a model"
Revue Anecdotique.
nappena Oaee Every 1,000,000 Yi
A remarkable freak in moon phases
was noted in the mouth of February,
1866, a month which hat gone into
astronomioal annals at "the month with
out a full moon. " In that year January
and March each had two full moons, but
February none. A writer in a leading
astronomical journal uses the following
languago in describing it: "Do you
realize what a rare thing in nature it
was? It hat not happened before sinoe
the beginning of the Christian era or
probably tinoe the creation of the world I
It will not occur again, according to
the oomputationi of the astronomer
royal of England, for how long do you
think? Not until after 9,600,000 yean
from 18661" St Louis Republic
From m atandpouii ot jceonomy.
Mrs. O'Mulligan Phwbat do yes
think av dhrosa reform?
Mrs. Wbalon Dhress refarm, hit it?
Bthure it't a great savin I It's on'y yis
terday I reformed the onld man'i pants
to fit Denny, and it't no small job
nathur I London Tit-Bita.
THEY LIKED NOISE.
Literary Lights Wlm Fnnnd a Rthnnlni to
Work In Tnrinoll.
All that concerns tho men and wom
en who glvo distinction to their day is
of interest to tiioso who ndmire, criti
ciso and perhaps envy their achieve
ments. A special nnd legitimate curi
osity is felt in reforeneo to the condi
tions tinder which success is won.
Glimpses nro occasionally given intotho
methods of eminent toilers, mid a won
derful variety is revealed. It is nt least
plain that no guidebook to great per
formances tho anxious nut Imr can have
his choice of severnl will determino
the point where exactly tho best results
are to bo obtained. Ono man's help is
another'! hindrance. Many famous
writers, for Instance, havo only been
able to perfect their thought in slleneo
nnd seclusion. Hut thero have ulsobeen
thoso who could work in the midst of
babel and defy distraction. Jauu Aus
ten, whoso unpretentious nnnvases nre
full of somo of tho most lifoliko por
traits in fiction, was never in the habit
of seeking solitude to compose, fcho
wrolo sitting in the family circle und
under perpetual risk of interruption. It
was the sauio villi n sueeesslul lady
novelist happily still living.
Mrs. Harriet lleeela r Blown wrote
lit r best known story on n plain pino
table by the aid of an evening lamp in
a thiy wooden house in Maine. About
her were pathen d children of various
n; i s, conning 1 1 : i r hssons or nt play
and never glassing what a ti'eai.mo
jnino of rM'ileinent. f as coming into
fxhtcuco for citlur young pci plu in
"Undo Tom's Cabin. " A large part of
the "Rotmin History" of Pr. Arnold
was compesed under similar ciieiiiu
Fliiiices. Demi Stanley has sketched tho
Itu;;by student, where Arnold sat at his
wink, "with no attempt nt seduFion,
conversation going on nrontid him hia
children playing in the room bis fre
quent guests, whether friends or former
pupils, coming in or out nt will."
Thomas Love II Boddoes, a poet of lux
uriant fancy nnd trno genius, though
much neglected, nlso found stimulus to
tho crcntivo faculty of his muse in
working in playful nnd even noisy com
pany. Such cases recall tho story of tho
learned limn of Padua, who assured
Montnlgno thnt ho nctunlly uoeded to
bo hemmed in by upronr before ho could
proceed to study. Chambers' Journal.
Cavalry riatnl Practice, 1070.
Here follow the commands for the
pistols:
1. Uucnpe yonr pistols. 2. Draw forth
your pistols. This must be performed
with the right hand. The left pistol
first and then to mount tho muzzle. 8.
Order your pistol. Rest yonr pistol a
littlo in your bridle hand, and then im
mediately take your pistol near the mid
dle pnrt of it, and place the butt end
upon your thigh. 4. Sink or rest your
pistol in your bridlo hand. 6. Bend
your cock (or draw up your cook to half
bend). 0. Secure or guard your oock.
7. Open your pnn. 8. Prlmo your pan.
0. Shut your pnn or order your hnm
mer or steel. 10. Cast about your pis
tols, which Is to be dono against your
loft thigh, with your muzzlo upward in
your bridlo hand. 1 1. Ungo your flasks.
12. Lade your pistols with powder. For
your more speedy lading of your pistols,
there is lately invented a small powder
flask, with a suitablo charge, but it is
not to be denied that yonr cartroaohes
are very serviceable.
Thore are 1 1 moro motions, and final
ly in 84 give firo. In tho firing of your
pistolt you aro not to fire directly for
ward, to yonr enoinies' horses' heads,
bat toward the right hand, with the
lock of the pistol upward. Notes and
Queries.
Papa la the Same List.
A gentleman formerly in the service
of the United Statot navy married a
Japanese beauty fow years ago and
settled down to domostio life in the Land
of the Rising Ban.
Only a few months ago an old chum
of hit, an officer on one of our tbipt of
war, went to oall upon him at hit home
in Nagasaki. While waiting in the room
which might correspond to the parlor in
this oountry he hoard the prattle of a
child in the adjoining apartment Baid
the youngster:
"Who it the foreign devil that haa
oome to tee papa?"
"Hush, " said the nurse. "Toe gen
tleman might overhear you. Ho it a fel
low countryman of yonr father's. "
"Well, papa it a foreign devil too. "
Thit incident would seem to show
that certain colloquial phrases have sur
vived the feoling of hatred for foreign
era whioh tho Japanese abandoned to
many years ago. Washington Star.
The Primitive FUhhook.
The first implement used by man for
oatohing flub with a line wus not a hook.
It was a pointed pieoe of bone or flint,
a simple baitholder, and the lino, possi
bly a length or to of tome driod vine or
grass, was tied to the middle of the
piooe. Tho fish swallowed the whole
bait, bone and all, and to the first im
plement wot what we would oall a gorge
hook today. In time bronze wat substi
tuted for bone, but the form of tho first
implement was retained. Uutold ages
passed before the first fishhook wot
made, and, strangely enough, whon a
prong wat fashioned on the hook, the
prang turned outward and not inward.
New York Timet.
Coleridge left hia wife and ohildren
Without apology or farewell and never
Would see them again.
FOR "GOOD OLD tiUDDtR."
A Newabny Cii-ts a Hmll I'lnitn(t -ph
Tnken lo 'i nil to Her,
When Curtiss, tho pi 'ographer, got
down to his studio n few mornings ngo,
bo found a diminutive, tattered and
very dirty littlo hoy waiting for him,
with n bootlilaek's kit slung on bis
ahouhhr. With nn inimlta! j tough
drawl tho boy said: "Say, Mr. Coitlss,
I caino ter git mo tinlypo taken. I want
ter send it ter mo inudder, wot live in
Cleveland. Bee?"
Mr. Curtiss said: "1 don't take tin
types, my boy. Why don't you go to a
tintypo gallery?"
"Aw, Mr. Coitlss, yonse do only
pitcher takerl knows. Bee, Mr. Coitlss,"
he wheedled, "here's de stuff I've been
av In ter git cr pitcher ter send ter mo
madder. Youso ken hara it nil. " And
ho opened IiIh grimy, sweaty littlo paw,
in which reposed a silver dime nnd a
cunt.
"All right," said Curtiss, "enmo in,
and I'll tako your picture. You needn't
pay mo with money. What can yon do?"
"Say, Mr. Coitiss, I kin tr iiuythin.
I'm a wiso kid. Dry ain't no Hies on
me."
He was lilted into a clmir, nnd his
feet didn't como within n foot of the
floor. Ho was trembling with excite
ment, anil his teeth glisti nctl in a line of
white against his dirty lace. Alter tho
shutter clicked and be was told it was
"ull over" be laughed and saio: "Hull,
dat ain't imttin. I cud do dat mosolf,
Mr. Coitiss."
He was put to work ch ining tho
globes on tho chanddii rs to pay fur his
pictures, und during the afternoon dis
appeared. About (I o'clock ho came buck
nnd said: "I bad ter go r.fter inn 3
o'eloe!:". Horn's n pulpy I saved for
you, Mr. Coitiss. " And ho drew a
rumpled dirty paper from nnder his
coat.
When tho pictures wcro finished nnd
handed to him, hn said: "Hnlly gee I
Alu'tdiitouterslght? Won't do old lady
bo proud nv her (.'holly boy wen sho gits
dls? Bay, Mr. Coitiss, me mudder's a
good old lndy, and she's got six more
kids ter wush for, so I fought I'd
skip."
One of tho pictures wns mailed to "do
good old madder" in Clevolnnd, and the
boy bnd one for himself. He looked at
it admiringly for a moment and then
said: "Say I Won't dis kill de kids at
do Junction dend when I show it to
'em? Aw, sny! Photogrnffed by Coitiss.
Whero't me chrysanthemum, Cholly?"
and he itrutted out Kansas City Btnr.
Swltserland a Modern Babel.
Bwitzerlnnd, with its mixture of races
and tongues, is a sort of modern Babel,
a fact which causes much trouble in
particular to the military authorities.
At Wallenstadt, the other day, at the
recruiting itntion, there was a ganrd
composed of five men. The chief was a
lieutenant who spoke German only, the
second a sergeant who spoke Italian
only, the third a corporal who could
speak French and Spanish, the fourth a
private who could speak French nnd
Gorman, and the fifth a privato who
conld speak French and Italian. When
the lieutenant had to transmit an order
to the sergeant, he had to get tho Inst
named mnu to interpret for him. When
he wanted to coinmunlcato with the
corporal, be had to requisition the fourth
man, and so on, great delay and oonfu
sion being thns occasioned. London
Newt.
Betrayed by a Pin.
No matter how masculine a woman
may become, there is always some little
womanly wenknost about her that inva
riably betrays hor. She may woar real
men's tboet anil tie hor own tie, bat ber
manny hat hat a hatpin through it Her
coat may be made by a real tailor, but
it it tight at the waist Bhe ii still and
always the woman. , Now, for example,
in Tim Murphy'a play, "Alimony,'.'
there waa one of the dapporest young
things yon ever saw. She waa a real lit
tle gentleman, from the crown of her
billycock bat to the aole of her hunting
boots. Her oorduroyt were real cordu
roys, and her shirt had link sleeve but
tons, but the had her high boot pinned
up with safety pins. She did, and I taw
them. Wasn't that the woman of it?
Washington Pott
By Wholesale.
A young lady who waa in a hurry to
take a train and wanted to bny a small
hopping bag walked into a wholesale
establishment by mistake.
"Will yon show me a bag, please?"
he began, but the clerk interrupted her
politely.
" We tell nothing at retail, " he said.
"I oould only let yon have bags by the
quantity."
"Dour met Not one bag?"
"No, madam. I'm very sorry. "
"And I'm in mob a hurry I Weill"
Bhe turned toward the door, and her
eye was caught by a sample bag on the
oounter.
"Ah," the exclaimed," that ' exaotly
the bag I want I Couldn't you. soli nie
the twelfth of a dozen?"
She got her bag. Youth's Compan
ion. Women Onsen Re-elected.
The Woman's Benevolent association
of Kansas City, Kan., elected officers at
Its recent meeting. Without an ex
ception the old officers were re-elected.
Here they ore: Mrs. Phuube A. Eager,
president; Mrs. E. J. Harris, vico pres
ident; Mrs. W. H. Ryns, teorotory, and
Mrs. J. C. Martin, treasurer. The soci
ety it ovor 90 veara old.
Tim Iyk of Borneo.
Tho ferocity of tho Dynks of Borneo
when Rajah Brooke first caino wns Ap
palling. No social or religious function
conld tnko place among tho tribes with
out bloodshed. Young unmarried girls
ciunn forth from tho long seclusion to
which they had been condemned sinco
childhood so mm-mio that they could
hndly stand. A slavo was killed is
tin Ir honor nnd tho blood of tho victim
sprinkled over them. Head hunting had
deciuiuted the race. It wns imperative.
thnt linsbandsshnnld conjure evil spirits
by bringing a human head to their
wi"cs before thn expected birth of a
child. Boys might not nsplro to man
hocd without having earned the badge
of tho bend hunter.
A skull wns tho first gift of a lover
to bis mistress and tho last token of re
spect by which tho living could honor
tho dead. On account of his rank no
petty chief could bo buried without
ninny freshly decapitated heads to form
his escort into tho next world. Tho
greatest respect, moreover, was shown
to such trophies. They were smoked
over n flro to preserve them. Their lips
were forced open to receive the choicest
morsels during the family meal. To
bacco and betel initu wcro also spread
before them. They were looked upon as
honored picsts, nnd every effort was
made to w in their friendship. Fort
nightly Review.
I'mmntlon.
"IIow'h Hint, boy o' yonrn (.'ot; in along
in tlio city, Josiali?" asked ono farmer
of dot her.
"Ho's workin bis wny np right
along. "
"What's bo doin?"
"IIu'h workin fi r tho city. "
"You don't tell inel Whut's bo (loin
fer it?"
"Ho'n driviu ono o' them things they
cnll a street sweeper kind o' wipes np
tho road nights, yon know. But, my,
he's beiu promoted! Fust off ho was
workin in tho Twenty-fust wnrd. By
an by ho writ mo that he was workin in
tho Eighteenth ward. Lnst week ho
writ that ho was in the Twelfth ward
now, an, I swan, yon see if thnt feller
don't fetch up in the Fast ward with
his sweop cart yitl" Youth's Compan
ion. On a Rnnlneas Baal. ,
The banker was talking to the bach
elor broker about bit future ttate, to to
speak.
"Why don't you get married?" he in
quired. "You've got money enough. "
"I presume I have, but you know I
take no stock in matrimony."
"Pshaw I That doesn't make any dif
ference. "
"I think it makes a great deal."
"Of course it doesn't," insisted the
baukor. "Don't yon very often make a
mighty good thing by assuming the
bonds of a couoern you wouldn't take
stock in under any circumstances?"
The broker hadn't looked at it in that
light before, and he took the proposition
under adviscmont Detroit Free Press.
Dancer la Everything.
Bcionoe shows that possible danger
lurks in everything. Butter, for in
stance, may contain pathogonio germs
and evory one knows bow bad they are.
Bo also it is shown in the London Lan
cet that bread oontaint many kinds of
living bacteria. And the conclusion is
reached that many unaccountable dis
eases may be eventually traced to the
agency of bread. New York Tribune.
Two Merits.
The Hibernian gift for courteous
speech was seldom better displayed than
by a certain Irish boarder.
Hit landlady, a "pleasant spoken"
body, had poured him a cup of tea and
presently inquired if it was all right
"It it jist to my taste, Mrs. Halla
ban," laid the boarder "woke and
cow Id, jist aa I loike it" Youth 'a
Companion.
Cloee Beannbla
Crimtonbeak Do yon know a mar
riage service always reminds me of a
prize fight?
Yeast How so?
"Why, the parties talk about it for
months, but it only requires a couple
of seconds for the event " Yonkera
Statesman.
More Abont the Dollar Mark.
Teacher Tommy, did you find out
anything about the origin of the dollar
mark?
Tommy I asked paw about it and
he said the straight lines stood for the
pillars of society and the orooked onr
for the way they got their monoy.
Cincinnati Tribune.
Equal lo the Oeeaelon.
Bob What did the lecturer say when
yon threw those cabbage at bim? .
Dick Oh, he said he had hoped the
audience would be pleased, but ho real
ly hadn't expected they wonld entirely
lose their heads. Louisville Courier
Journal. Annapolis wot so called in honor
of Queen Anne. The Catholics, who
settled it called it St Mary's. 16
was renamed Arundelton, in honor of
the Earl of Arundel, still later waa
christened Anne Arundel, and finally
the present name waa bestowed.
Mrs. Portly Pompua Oh, Bridget,
yon have broken that magnificent Japa
nese vasel
Bridget Sure, mum, isn't it lucky
that there wat nothing in itl Tam
many Times.