VOLUME 3. KEYNOLDSVILLE, PENN'A., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12, UK) I. NUMIJER 31. Ooti'la. II OTF.L McCOXNKLL, HKYXOT.mVHXK. PA. FItAXKJ. HLACK, Proprietor. The Iciidiim hotel of the town. 1 1 i-inlipiii r tcis for coininc rclnl men. Mtciini licnt, free him, Itiitli room unit eiovcts mi every llHir, HtiiiipU1 room-, lUlllurd room, telephone con nections II OTKf, UIXNAP, KKYNOM)SVlLLK, PA. L. S. .WLKLLAXIK Pwprktm: VlrM rnn Inrverv pnrtlculnr. Loralnd In llu very tvnirt of ilir IiiIih-o part of limn. I'm' lnit to inifl from iritln and rnnimodlmm ftnniplt' room for rnmtnrivhil traveler. C lOMMKKCIAL HOTEL, llRtmKVILLK. PA., PHIL . CAHUIHH, 1 ')!( tor, Htinmle rooms on the in-onml Ihsir. House licntcd I'V mil null mm. Omnibus to iinrt from til trains. M oonirs wixdsoh hotel, 1217-2!) FlI.llKKT BTHKKT. PHILADELPHIA. - PENN'A, PJiKSTO.X J. MOO UK, l'mjiriitor. IMS lu ll rooms, limes Slue per diiv Ameri can l'Inti. I1 Work from P. II. H. lH-Mil nml i liloi-k from New I'. A. K. It. In-pot. itlisccUtUtrcnta. JUSTICE OK TIIK PEACE And Ki'iil Kslalc Airt tit, ICf.vticlilvlll, Pit. Q MITCHELL, ATTOKNKY-AT-LAW. Oflit-e on West Mtllll street, opposite the t'onilncrelal Motel, Rcynold-vlUc. Pa. D 11. H. K. HOOVER, REYN Ll)SVILLE, PA. Itesldcnt dentist. Ill 1itlllilil neiir Metho dist chiiivh, opiiosltc Arnold hlock. t.entle-m-ss In opcrntiutf. c. r. (iiiKiMis. joii w. turn qordon & reed, attorneys-at-law, ltronkvllle, Jefferson Co., Pn. Office in room formerly occupied ny (iordon & I'orlK'tt West Muln Street. W. 1. KeCRACKEH, BrookTllli, e. m. Mcdonald, RsynoldiTllli. jyjt.'CRACKEN& McDONALD, Attornrtjn und Ciiwwllor-itt-Lutt, Office At Reynoldlvlllo mid ltrookvllle. It EYNOLDSV1LLK LAUNDRY, WAIT SING, Proprietor, rornnr4th niiwt nnd flordon alley. KlrM tf'ltiHH work dnm at rt'HHonahlv prtcw Givo thv laundry h trial. RllkfaiJlD.S. All Kinds of Work in the Dental Line Promptly and Neatly Done. Dr. Harbison is a graduate of the Baltimore College of Dental Surgery, the oldest dental college in the world. Office on Main St. oppo site Hotel Belnap, Reynolda- ville. Consultation and Examination FREE,! J. S. MORROW. DF.ALEB IN Dry Goods, Notions, Boots, and Shoes, Fresh Groceries Flour and Feed. . GOODS DELIVERED FREE. OPERA - HOUSE BLOCK Beynoldsville, Pa. HE WISHED HIMSELF A DOd. "I wh I wn a d"(f," hoaafd. With PVtd'Mit dtfttfit". And nMrttiHy hit Hlnchint fit Into htn puflo-tfl thrwit. Ill wifo ltovcd her trmli'NMit car tpon lnT puppy- Tun, B"t not. n kindly wort or lwk Would iliu ! itil ti lorn. Th nrnvrt rn.r .h rnmnritt Of all her innrr1-tl hi Who ftiH itst. in lift "no amounV Tim dnhv of n wll'o. I'vh st-wi It fri'intiMy mywdf And iti'Vi-T will f'lru-! 8ht fniwnd nnd ow1rd upna Mr "hnl.." liut null 'I iiij'Hi hnr it. 1 d not wondi-r tlntt, n rrmn In uoh dointiHiid hn. Will ulnk Into th d.pt. wo And wuli Mm tclf tbt It I had tuirh a wlh a Iht). On nwiH.1 rwna" I'd f ast. I'd muk" h r wpinrely t' tlm mark And kill Hii tartiul -Nfbratkn Jonrnal. NAPOLEONIC STOCK. HIS FATHER WAS A PATRICIAN AND HIS MOTHER A PEASANT. Hut the Lnttrt Wm Cast in Hernia Maid, nl IT in Ilrr tll Hon Clnt 111. Tremendous I'lij-.lenl Kndtininee Hli Wim Mother nf n l.nrite I'nnilly. Of tho father nnd niotlu-r of tlie em peror Frnfi'Heor W. M. Slonno writes its follows iu Century: Certnin undisputed facts throw n Btrong lilit on Nnpoluon's father. His peoplo were proud mid poor; ho endured tho hiuilsliips of poverty with equanim ity. Strengthening whnt littlo influenco ho conld iiuiKter, ho nt lirst npprnrs nni liitiouH nnd has himself dcserilH-d in his diploma as a pntrieinn of Florence, 8nn Miniiitonnd Ajnecio. On tho other Imnd, with no nppmeut regard for his person al advancement liy mnrritiKO, ho follow ed his own inclination, nnd in 1704, nt tho ngo of 1H, rashly perhaps, liut Ral lnntly, woddetl a lowly nnd beautiful child of 15, Lotitin Rninolino. Her descent was tho roverso of her huRhnnd's, although her fortnno was quite equal if not superior to his. Sho was of peasant nature to tho lust day of her long lifo hardy, unsentimental, frugnl nnd sometimes unscrupulous. Yet tho hospitality of her littlo homo In Ajncoio was lavish, after the manner of her kind, nml consequently famous. Among tho many guests who availed thomsolves of it was Mnrbonf, com mander in Corsica of tho first army of occupation. Thoro was long afterward a malicious tradition that the French general was Nnpoloon's father. The morals of Lctitin di Buonaparte, like those of her conspicuous children, have been bitterly assailed, but her own good name, at least, has always been vindi cated. The evident motive of tho story sufficiently refutes such an aspersion as it contains. Of the brido's extraordina ry beauty thoro novor has been a doubt. Sho was a woman of lieroio mold, like Juno in her majesty, unmoved in pros perity, undaunted in adversity. It was probably to his mother, whom he strong ly resembled in childhood, that tho fa mous son owod his tremendous, even gi gnntio, physical endurance. If in his mother was reproduced tho type of a Roman matron, in tho son would bo re called tho virtues and vigor of nn ira porator. After thoir mnrringo the youthful pair rosided in Corto, waiting until events should permit their return to Ajaccio. Naturnlly of nn indolent tem pcramont, tho husband was nt first drawn into tho daring enterprises of Paoli nnd displayed a temporary en thusiasm, but for more than a year bo fore the end be weariod of them. At the head of a body of men of his own rank he finally withdrew to Monte Rotoudo, and on May 23, 1769, a few weeks be fore Paaii's flight; the band made form al submission to the two Frenoh gen erals, Marbeuf and Vaux, explaining through Buonaparte that tho national leader had misled them by promises of aid which never came, and that, recog nizing the impossibility of farther re sistance, they were anxious to accept the new government; to return to their homes and to resume the peaceful con duot of tboir affairs. It was this pre cipitate naturalization of the father ai a French citizen which made his great sou a Frenchman. Less than three months afterward, on Aug. IS, his fourth child, Nupoleone di Buonaparte, was born in Ajaooio. The resources of the Buonapartes, as they still wrote themselves, were small, although their family and expectations were large. An only child, Letitin had inherited her father's little home and his vineyards in the suburbs, for hor mother had married a second time. Hor stepfather had beeu a Swiss mercenary in the pay of Genoa. In order to secure the woman of his clioioe he became a Roman Catbolio and was the father of Mme. di Buonaparte's half brother, Jo seph Fesch. Charles himself was tho owner of lands in the interior, bat they were heavily mortgaged, and he oould contribute little to the support of his family. His uncle, a wealthy landlord, bad died childless, leaving his domains to the Jesuits, and they bad promptly entered into possession. Aooording to the terms of his grandfather's will, the bequest was void, for the fortune was to fall in suoh a case to Charles' mother, and on ber death to Charles himself. Joseph, bis father, bad wasted many years and most of bis fortuno in weary litigation to recover the property. Noth ing daunted, Charles settled down to pursue the same phantom, virtually de pending for a livelihood on his wifo's small patrimony. Ho became nn officer of tho highest court ns assessor and was in ado in 1779 a member and Intern deputy of tho council of Corsicnn nobles. Tho peasant mother was most prolific!. Her eldest child, born iu 1705, watt a son, who died in infancy; in 1707 wai born a daughter, Mario Anno, destined to tho samo fato; in 1708 a son, known Inter ns Joseph, but. baptized ns Nabu lione; in 17(111 tlin gront sou, Napoleone. Nino other children wero tho fruit of tho samo wedlock, and six of them threo sous Lueien, Louis nnd Jerome, nnd threo daughters, Elise, Paulino nnd Cnrolino survived to share their broth rr'n greatuess. Charles himself, like his short lived nneestors of whom five had died within a century reached only early middle nge, dying in his thirty ninth yenr. Lctitin, liko tho stout Cor sican that she wns, lived to tho ripe ago of 8(1 iu tho full enjoyment of her facul ties, known to tho world by the sobri quet of Mine, Mere. FOOLEU THE POLICEMEN. Two Jokers In Loflr I'ereh FlnnllyOnt. wit I'stlent IllnecnaU. Two young men, supmseilly In spirit of mischief, climbed up ahlg polo of tho Hell Telephone company on N In dian street, between Twenly-liist, mid Twenty-second, before daylight and es tablished themselves in tho "crow's, nest" Just below tho first of tho wirn lieartng crossbars on a recent morning. Thern they sat and sang songs until a pns.sing milkman culled up and usked What tliey were doing. "Oh, ask of tho man in tho moon. " Warbled one, ami tho other said flint they wero hunting for tho milky w-ty. The milkman left iu disgust and nnti Hcd a policeman of tho Fifth district that a pair of nuisances wero holding forth "in a cage on a polo. " Tho police man summoned a brother patrolman, and tho two went to tho pluce designat ed, where the jokers'had changed their programme and remained s silent ns the grave. "Como downl" demanded the poltc man, but he received no answer. "If you don't, we'll coinn tip and bring you down. " "Then we'll push dom oops away," responded tho singer up tho pole. I'lm thrnfit u'ny tnn timnh for tlm hlnn coats, so they replied that they woultf wait below until the niun got tired of being up in the air and camo down nf their own accord. They were answered with a laugh, but sat dowu on the curb stone and chewed tobacco A crowd col looted, and the men up above outurtain ed it with making jokes at tho expense of the, patient guardians of the peace The crowd was augmented by hundreds of neoplo on their way to work, who stood nnd watched the strango spectacle until their necks got kinks in them Tho entertainers meanwhile were not Idle and rewarded their sightseers with a variety of funny performances In their elevated and oonlinud quarters. Tho wires and door of the box that contains tho head cable camo iu for a good share of their attention, and they rattled and banged to their hearts' eou tout. Finally they got tired and begun to descend. The poluieraeu grinned ex pectautly nnd tho crowd was breathless with interest. "You're coming down, are you?" shouted tho policemen derisively, but the men mndu no rosponso. Suddenly the lower one, when nbout ten feet ubovo tho roof of the itdjaceut housu, made it spring and lauded on the roof iu safety. The other one followed suit before the people below could say a word. Thoro they poked their beads over the eaves and shouted: "Yah, hnhl Did we como down?" Then thoy disappeared and huvo not been seen since. Where they weut is a mystery. Philadelphia Times. NEEDED DIETING. Aa Attenuated Horn That ElclUd an OfflMr UnDMarF Sympathy. A South Chicago policeman oame across an attenuated sorrel horse tied to a hitching post the other day. He wait ed a few minutes until the owner ar rived and then said: "Why don't you feed your horse something? I'd wager that he hasn't seen an oat since he was a colt Do you feed him on the photograph of a bale of bay?" "Mr. Offioer, you don't know that horse, or you wouldu t talk that way. ' "I don't know the horse, but I know that yon ought to be run in for working a starved beast like that. It's a case for the S. P. C. A. Do yon weigh out his food to him on an apothecary's scales?" "Officer, before you say any more do me a favor. Get in that buggy and drive around a block, and when yon come back here tell me what to feed bim. I'll do whatever you say. " The policeman got into the buggy and started off. He thought he was in a merry go rouud driven by oyolone pow er. He braced his feet against the dash board and hung on to the reins until hi wrists cracked and there was a thowei of heels all over the road The buggy slewed around corners on one wheel, and whoa the horse finally landed up against the hitching post with its front legs over the shafts the officer was io dazod that he couldn't speak for a nitn ute. "Well," queried the owner, "what do you think I d better feed the borse? ' "If I owned him," answered the po liceman sternly, "I'd feed bim ou some good reliable ansssthetia " Cbi ogo Tribune. old MicKOHv.n wars Vm PliaraeterMlo Ntnrln nf .larlmnii's ninnlnm Whn II Was rratilrnt. , General Armstrong, assistant com missioner of Indian n flairs, thinks that Andrew Jackson was ouo of the greatest men this country ever produced and has a number of stories which wero told him by his uncle, who was nn Intimate friend of (Jld Hickory. One of thorn is very characteristic of tho man. Lewis (.'as, secretary of war, was over ut the White House one day with some Important papers for the president to sign, among tliniu being a court mar tini findings "(,'ass, what. Is this?" inquired Jack. son as he was about to write his name to the document "It Is a court martial." answered Cass "Whnt bnvo I to do with It?" nskerl tho president It dismisses nn officer from tho serv ice, and the president must sign such or ders." Jackson toyed with tho paper nnd said musingly: "Dismisses him from . tho nrtny, eh? Why?" "Drunkenness; getting drunk anil falling down ou parade or something of that kind," answered the secretary. ; "Who ordered tho court?" asked Jack- '' sou. I "Ooiiornl Scott," answered Cass "Who is it?" inquired the president, with niciro inlorest. "Inspector Uetioral Krann, " replied Cass. "What!" shoutc i Jackson. "My old friend Krann I Cut s, just read what that paper says. " Tito secretary read tho usual form of the court martial sentence in such eases Tho president then took tho piisT nnd wrote across the bottom where ho was about to sign his name: "Tho within findings are dinpprriv. ed, and Colonel Krann is restored In his duty noil rutik. " Ho passed the paper back to Secreta ry I, 'ass and said, with his usual vehe mence: "lly tho Eternal, Cnss, when yon nnd Scott serve your country nil well as that man linn you can get drunk on duty ev ery day. " A young man from Tennessee, son of a friend of General Jackson's, came to Washington for a place. Ho looked nbout nnd found what ho wanted. It Watt in tho war department and tilled by a very efficient Whig, whom Secre tary Cass would not remove. The young man told Jackson tho situation, and Cass was sent for. "Cass," said tho president, "this young man, sou of my old friend, says you hnvo got a place iu tho war depart ment filled by a Whig which you won't give him." Secretary Cass explained that the duties of tho offlco were of a poeuliai kind, and he could get no one to till the place if tho mnu now in it should be re moved. Jaoksou flared up. "By tho Eternal, Cass, do you mean to tell mo you have nn office in your de partment filled by a Whig which can't be filled by a Democrat? Thou abolish tho ofllcol" Tho young man got his place. Wash iugtou Post. ANOTHER DELUGE. The Hoy Ilellrvrd In God's 1'romUs, but Was a Bit Beared. Boys Mint is, small boys have queer ideas in their littlo hoitds, ofteu finding expression in unique speech. That they are truthful, or nt least intend to be so, goes without saying. During the recent local flood n little boy about I years old stood at the window watching the rain as it rained. It seemed to him that be had never seen anything like it; had n over iu his brief experience no ticed such strong indications of a regu lar old fashioned flood. Finally he con fided his fears to his mother, asking if she didn't think that God was going to drown out the world again. Here was the golden opportunity for Impressing upon the mind of confiding childhood the teachings of the Bible. So he said calmly, "Don't yon remember, Archibald, that you learned in Sunday school that God promised that he wouldn't drown the world again?" The littlo follow watched the increasing rain a moment in silence while he poudered earnestly on the momentous questiou. "Yes," be said slowly, "yes, I s'pose I've got to believe what God says, but but" and he shut bis lips hard "but this is a devil of a shower." Stillwater (Minn.) Gazette. Cardinal CHwbons on BaOTaf Cardinal Gibbous, in a recent sermon at the'Baltimore cathedral, said ou the question of woman suffrage; The church follows the teachings of St. Paul, that woman is equal to man, when he declares that God makes no distiuotiou as to nationality, raoo or ex. It seems to me fearful to contem plate what would have boon the con dition of society today if it bad not boeu for the restraining, sanctifying and pu rifying iuflueuoe of woman. Womau does not today exorcise the right of suf fraga She caunot vote, and I am beurt ily glad of it. I hope the duy will never come when she can vote, aud if the right is granted ber I hope she will re gret it, eveu though there are some mis guided women who think tboy want it. Rest assured, if woman entered politics, he would be sure to carry away with ber some of the mud aud dirt of the po litical contact Sho, too, would lose some of the iuflueuoe which she uow exerts. CATHERINE HARRISON, WITCH. A I'M"" n :arlr Wllrh l.or of na- nvllt:llt. Dr C J. I loudly read a paper on "Catherine Harrison, Witch, " at a meet ing of tlin Connecticut Historical socie ty l)r I loudly said that while Cather ine Harrison was not executed two were undoubtedly executed for witch craft ill Connecticut, anil there Were others nlioiit whom there might liosoino doubt. This community was not swept by the superstition as wero sumo parts of Massiiehii-ctts, hut there Weru those hero who held t i It. Catherine Harrison Was a hnuso serv ant before her marriage, and one of the daughters of the house wberoslio work ed mado oath that she was a "notorious liar, n Snbliatli breaker mid a fortune teller." The depositions said she had caused sickness to some people, death toothers, hud uu unholy influence over animals, had Im-cii seen to appear ns a calf and change back to her own shape, and that ber form or face had frequent ly nppeared tit people's bedsides and other unlikely places. At this trial sho was not convicted, film was arrested again In May, Kill!), and ugnlu commit ted to jail. At the following term of con it she was Indicted, pleuded not guilty and was tried befo.e a jury. This jtuy then failed tu ugtee, nnd site was remanded to jail until cotyt should con vene again in the full. At thut term tho jury tendered u verdict of guilty, but tho court was not satisfied. It obtain ed an expert opinion on witchcruft from some mluisteiH, and still not being Hut islied referred tho mutter to the general conn. She remained in prison until Mny, 107(1, when tho general court released hor on Hie payment of the "just fees" of tho trial and on condition she should leave the stale. Catherine Harrison left the state luid went to Westchester, N. Y., but her reputation preceding her tho inhabit mils complained to tho governor. For some time she wns placed under bonds for good behavior. Sho was afterward released. Hartford Tiiuos. An Krcentrlc Character. It was at night, when the lower part of Broadway was as silent as a village street A lono cab was orawling along, its driver comfortably hunched forward smoking a cigar. Suddenly there was a crash, the sharp rattlo of brokon glass on tho pavement, and a leg protruded through one of the oab windows. The few pedestrians nod one policeman who heard and saw wore startled, aud the observing Suuinau had dismal forebod ings of having to go back to the office and write a story about a mystery or possibly the tragedy of a Broadway oab. But the tlriver remained comfortably bunched, did not miss a puff of bis ci gar, and the horse jogged on until the policeman motioned to the driver to stop. "What's all this?" he asked. "It's all right," answered tho driver. "But let's have a look," said the offi cer. Ho peered into the cab, which con tained but ouo person, a man, who, ob serving tho officer, remarked in any thing but tragic, in fact, in the friend liest of tones: " 'F'ser, le't all have 'uozzer. " "Drive on," said the pollcomau anil added, "But I don't want any more of this cab window smashing ou Broad way. " "Ho can't smash any more," the driver said, gathering up his reins. "Ho smashed tho left door glass at Dunne, the trout glass at Howard and the right door glass hero at Grand. He's all right. He does this about once a mouth. " "G'ni', M'ser,' said the fara "Good uiht, sir, "replied the offi cer. New York Sun. On UU Knee Mayhap. They sat at opposite ends of the sofa, "Be mine," he pleaded. "I am not iu a position to entertain such a proposal, " she answered coldly. He was not of the sort of man to re qnire the impact of a tabernacle falling on hi head ere be would tumble, and be shortly effected a rearrangement of positions mutually satisfactory, and of a uature to facilitate the matter in band. Detroit Tribune. Jim ThU One. Corporal Pi ton applies for leave of abseuoa "On what grounds?" inquired the colonel. "I have jnst lost my mother, oolonel. " "All right, sacrenotndunchienl Leave granted, but see this doesn't happen again 1' ' Charivari. Information For a Tourist. f "Is it still the custom in this country to reach for your gun to back it up aft er yon have called a man a liar?" asked a tourist "It air not, stranger, " replied the early settler, "and it never wuz. It bos oilers ben the custom in tho best society of Yallor Dog to reach for the gun fust " Indianapolis Journal. The camel's foot is a soft cushion pe culiarly woll adnptod to the stones and gravel over which it is constantly walk ing. During a single journey through the Sahara horses have worn out three sets of shoes, while the camel's feet are not even soro. Newark, N. J., was first oalled Mil ford, from the name of a town in Con necticut Its name was changed at the suggestion of the Rev. Abraham Pier son, an early minister iu the town, who bad beeu ordaiued at Newark, in England. HOW HE PROPOSED. Bad Thing All Arranged, lint Had to As cent a Compromise. John Dnross is n young nnd enterpris ing commission mnu of Pittsburg. No one over accused him of being eccentric tyitil recently. John Is a popular fellow with tho gentler sex, but until n few weeks ngo had withstood till their blan dishment. Finally, however, bn no knowledge)! himself whipped and pro posed. This is the wny he did it. He bought n house nod lot ouo morn ing, and in tho afternoon took tho fu ture Mr. Duress for a drlvo "I'vo concluded we'll get married," be said as the smokestacks of tho smok iest city ou earth grow faint and far away "Well," responded the young lady, with a gasp, "I presumo you will ac cord mo tho privilego of something to say about such nn important matter, es. peclnlly sineo I have been selected for tho victim," nnd she began to frown and pout. "Yon must and shnll sny ' Yos. Now, listen. I've got the cngo, nnd wo will go down town together tomorrow nnd get the roosts nnd tubs and things that belong to cages." "Why, Mr. Duress I Renlly, you ns tonnd mo with your npsurauco. Plenso take me homo. ' ' Instead, John whipped up nnd drovo further away from tho stacks. "After we get the mansion fixed np I will go mid get a license, wo'll got spliced, nnd ns I bnvo to go to Florida next week for a trainlond of orangos you can call it your wedding trip." The poor girl was paralyzed, but managed to protest. "No use, Meliss, I havo planned it ill) out, nnd it will bo that way." "But, Jack, 1 hnvo no clothes for such an occasion, and beside I've got some goodby to say. I shall want nt least six months for preliminaries." "Clothes be hanged I" exclaimed Jack as he urged his horso to travel faster. "I hnvo only four suits of clothes, and you have a dozen dresses at least I'm sure you have, " for Jack didn't know whether she had two gowns or two dozen. He simply mude a guess. And io, after a great deal of arguing, a compromise on four weeks' time was effoctod. That eveuing Duross rotated tho cir cumstances to a boon companion and wound up by saying: "I'll tell you what it is, Bill, women are the most perverse orentures in tho world. To think of that girl wanting six months' time for suoh a blowout! Why, a week was long enough, and 1 don't understand why Meliss should kick for more time. But 1 won tho day. Still I had to postpone my Florida trip, and I'll bet a (!) cuspidor that oranges will bn out of sight whon I got there. But Meliss is worth a thousand train loads of fruit, and I expect wo had bet ter have another cold bottle, "Chicago Mall. Women and Hanks. Said a bank cashier of this city: "Some few days ago a woman came in with a check for f 500 made payablo to her. I didn't know her nnd refused to cash it without tho identification of the maker signifying that the indorsement was O. K. Sho didn't understand what I meant, but seemed to think I was re fusing for pure cusseduess. " 'But, madam, it is against tho bank rules to givo nny money to peoplo wo don't know,' I explained. 'I don't know you. Any ono might llnd a check on the street and bring it in here to be cashed. ' "She regnrdetl this as a reflection ou ber honesty. 'What's that you say, young mnu?' slinking hor parasol at mo. Aud for onue I blessed my cage, which protocted me from ber indignation. 'I might havo found the check on the street, you young whipper snapper yout What do you take me for? I'd havo yon . know that I'm an honest woman and not going around picking up chocks. ' " 'I believe it, madam,' I said, try ing to appease ber; but, all the same, I can't give yon the money without t;.a maker identifying your indorsement ' ' "In great dudgeon sho weut out and returned in half an hour with the prop er indorsement Viciously thrusting the check in the window, she said, 'Now, young man, refuse to give me thut mon ey if yon dare I' "As I huutled her oat $500 in bills she remarked sotto voce: 'Picked it up in the street, did I? Umph!' " Phila. delphia Press. A Disagreeable Test. It baa been asserted that when a rail road express traiu stops very suddenly the passengers suffer in the same degree' as though they bud fallen from a third story window. Tho Pittsburg Dispatch is authority for this statement - As the majority of persons who have fallen from third story windows have been, killed, it is impossible to secure their testimony on the subject and quickly stopped traiu passenger refuse to mako the test. Exchange. Poetlo License, Mr. Goro of Louisville was reading "The Ancient Mariner" to her husband, aud had reached the liue Wutor, water everywhere, nor any drou to drlnkl Hero the colonel interrupted her with the remark; "What reckless poetlo license I Why should they want to driuk water?" Pittsburv Chroniolq i ne Big bandy, iu Kentucky, tooi English name from its saud bars. The Indians called it the Chutteroi, mean intr "the aandv river "