According to English insanity re
turn, sixteen caioi in 1,000 are
caused ly love affair.
An international tclcphono Hystom,
to cover nil Europe with it network,
in one of tiio Intent movements.
Statistical of inHnnity, collected nt
tho Kiikbridge Asylum, in England,
showed thnt out of n totitl of 2 pa
tictita, only ono had reil lmir unci only
tlil'eo were blondes.
Hehleaig-Holsteiu boasts of having
the richest peasant in Europe. Tliey
prow n great ninny flowers, lmt their
chief occupation is raising enrly vege
tables for tho large citios of northern
Europe.
Xn a recent report to tho United
State Department of Agriculture,
Alexander McAdeo states thnt tho lia
bility to dainngo from lightning de
creased in thickly-populated districts
tho risk in tho country being, in gen
crnl, nbont five times na grcnt an thnt
in tho citv.
Oenernl Armatrong, Commissioner
of Indian Affairs says: "There is more
danger from Anarchists in Chicago
thnu from nil tho Indiana in tho W cut
Indian wars nro n thing of tho past
With tho railroad facilities troop
an bo transplanted from tho largo
poata more quickly than they can
march from nny of tho littlo poata
which hnvo been nbnndonod. "
Of over 5,000,000 children in ele
mentary schools in England, only
890,000 pay for their schooling, and
of those 500,000 pny no nioro thnn a
penny a week, Recording to a recent
official statement. Of tho "Voluntary
schools," in which tho wholo or pur
of tho tuition is pnid by tho parents,
5,000 rcceivo from $2.50 to 85 n head
for tho children in attendance; 1,000
front .1.24 to $2.50, and 5,000 under
11.25.
Natural gaa ia graduiilly declining
in pressure throughout tho country.
From a preaauro of 210 pi, inula in
18.H7 it ia now roduced to loss thnn
half that amount. The banner your
whs 1NS8, when tho product reached a
vnltio of 822,000,000. Lust yenr
tho product was worth lest than S15,
000,000. Indiana was tho lending
Stuto, her product nlouo being valued
nt 85,718,000, and it was the only Stnto
'showing nn increnso for 180;).
During tho pnat year between 000,
000,0 io and 700,000,000 pussongers
weiv carried on Hteaniboitta on tho
water of this country. Supervisor
Inspector-General Duinont reports
that only ninety-six pusaeugcrs lost
their lives through cusunltio-. "Thcro
ouId bo no moro oioqneiit testimonial
Riven to tho cflluioncy of Oenerul Du
moiit and his corps of associates,"
comments tho Now York Mnil and Ex.
pros. '
Tho Boaton Cultivator snys thnt ono
satisfactory reason for tho poor suc
cess of the Chiueso in fighting is tho
fuct that they nro fighting for a for
eign dyuns y whioh tho groat mnjority
of Chinamen wish to soe depoaod. A
nativo of China now in this country
ays that half of las ooutryraon would
pretor to turn in and help drive away
tho Tartar rulors of thoir native lund,
rather thuu to aid them ia maintain
ing power. Tho Chinese rebellion oi
18110 was an attempt of the peoplo of
China to regain control of their own
country. It would have sucooeded if
(funeral Gordon had not betrayed
Ihuir cause.
A luto number of tho Chattanooga,
Teun., Times oontuiiiH an account of a
rumurkuble affair that occurred in Unit
state. A truin carrying a largo mini
bur of state prisoners, going to work
on the rnilroad, ran into a lundhlido
on the Hurrimnn Coal and Iron Itoud,
nour Euffiior's Mill, wrecking a train
and wounding a largo number of pas
sengers. Tho guards of tho prisoners
were all injured and so badly as to bo
helpless, l'iuioued beneath the debris
of tho wreck and helpless to do any
thing, thoy wero oxpeotingthe prison
ers in their charge to make a break
for liberty. Among tho prisoners wero
two on long sentences, one for 25 and
one for 45 years. Those two men
wero unhurt, and they promply seined
tho guns of tho injured guards and
gavb thoir follow prisoners to under
stand that there wus to bo no running
.away, .but all who could must go to
work for the ruscuu of tho suft'jrors.
The wounded were taken out of the
wreck and thoir wauta ministered to
as tenderly us possible. Not ono of
the oouvicts csouped. Tho two long
timers who behaved so well wero both
colored. It is not probable that .Gov.
Turuey will overlook them when thu
oircumutanoos arc brought to his no.
Alio. . ...
A BONO FOR THANKSGIVING,
A few Ut roast linger an1 smiling (look the
sort,
And the world Is llks a picture whero ths
harvests smile to Oo.l
There's a greater Joy la living for no Moss
ing Ha denies.
And the soul's divlns thanksgiving drifts in
Incense to the skins I
Through tho darkness ant ths dangor
through t Tin peril ol the. past,
To the starred and stormless haven He has
Ind our ships at Inst,
And with rl.-hest treasures laden wo have
furled ths flag shove,
For ths garlands of HI glory and ths ban
ners of His lovst
Ring swool thy sweet Thanksgiving, O.Soul I
nnd ring ye. hells,
Till ths world shsll catch ths chorm snd ths
anthem heavenward swells t
For His love snd for His mercy for His
cross snd chastening rod,
For Ills tender benedictions, lot tho whols
world thank Its Ood !
F. L. Hlnnton.
A Double Thanksstfvine:.
hi tivM.x ronnesT oravks.
EARS to me,
raid Miss Hepsy
reabody, "that
the weather's
eoldor'n when I
was a gal.
Things is chang-
ia' yes, they
be!"
And an odd,
complacent
smile crept
around the cor
n e r a of her
mouth, aa she
stood on the
doorstep, a
faded,
three-cornered
shawl pulled over her head, and
calico skirts blowing in the keen
her
No-
v -nber wind.
Cautiously she crept along the line
of the fence, cowering behind the
leafless gooseberry bushes, like some
escaping criminal.
" 'Tain't daybreak yet," said she to
hrrselr, "hnt Deacon Cooper is an aw
fill early riser 1"
She paused beneath the shadow of a
riokely old barn, where the wisps of
hay protruded through the starting
hoards, aa you sometimes tee a child's
yellow hair rioting through the cracks
of its ragped straw hat. Her keen
car had caught a squeaking sound.
"I k no wed it!" muttered Miss
Ilepsy. "That mink trap was always
a master good thing to ketch I And
the hinges ain't got rusted yet. My I
I do wonder what the deacon'll say ?"
For there, with its parti-colored
wings flopping wildly, and one foot
firmly caught in the iron teeth of the
trap, was Deacon Cooper' biggest
turkey gobbler.
Miss Hepsy captured it in an in
stant, loosing the mctallio grip with a
dolt movement of ono hand, while
with tho other she silenced the croak
ing sounds in the folds of her apron.
"He still, you creetnr I" she mut
tered, energetically. "I guess I've
got you at last, arter all them young
daylia plants yon scratched up and
the btrorberry runners you ruined for
me. And Deacon Coopor standin' up
for t that it was my fences to blame 1
Fences, indeed 1 when there waru't no
fence between here an' the Connecti
cut State line but you could fly over
easy as winkin'. I guess I'll hev a
Thanksgivin' dinner now, and no
stenlin' neither, for I hain't never for
got them youug ducks o' mine thatthe
deacon's city nephew shot, niakin' out
he didn't know but what they was
wild game, and the deacon never
offorin' to pay for 'em. The law
wouldn't do nothin' to help me, beiu'
they was swimmin' in the deaoon'
pond, but I'll be my own law this
time. I set the trap to ketch the
weasels, and if the deacon's gobbler's
walked into it, 'taint no fault o'
niiue."
Fifteen minutes afterward, the de
capitated fowl lay on ilis Hepsy'
kitchen table.
"It's pretty tongb," said she, "but
I gutss I can par-bile it au' give it a
good long spell in the oven. I'll
change a hank o' that blue yarn for a
part o' Mrs. Miller's cranhorries, an'
I'm 'most sure Desire Hawkins '11 let
me hev a handful o' her summer
savory to flavor tho stuffin'. Widder
Hall's got more pumpkins than she
knows what to do with, and Surah
rikimmer'U be glad to exchano a peck
of apples for some o' that crochet lace
I did last week. Bless me I I hain't
hail no Thaukagivin' dinner for a
dozen good year not since mother
died but it all comes back to me
now as handy asrollin' off a log."
"Why Miss Hepsy I"
"Laud o' Uosheu, Duloie Cooper, is
that you?"
Quicker than lightning Miss Hepsy
flung her apron over the defunot tur
key gobbler and interposed her gaunt
form between the kitohen table and
the door, in whioh, tramed like some
lovely Guiusbwough pioture, stood a
blue eyed young gill, with yellow hair
ruffled by the frosty wind and an old
fashioned rod and blue shawl wrapped
around her.
"Miss Hepsy," said the girl, quiok
ly, and with a certain tremulousuess
of aooeut, "don't don't you need
some one to help you? I'd come for
my board only. Please, please don't
say no I"
"Why," stammered the spiuBter, "I
was calculate' to oleau house and fix
up things a little, but- what ou earth
docs this moan, Duloie? You ou' your
pa hain't had words, have you?
d(jain?"
yye'i we have 1" suid Duloie Coop
er, breathing quicker than ever. "I
told futhor this morning thut I was
going to he married" (turning her
ruaeoud of a faoe to OUU hi lilt ILH lilts
spoke), "ud he twitted me with. iu.
gratitude for gnin off to leave him '
after all the schooling I'd had. And
I'm sure he never paid a cent for it.
And he said I wasn t a good honse
keeper, because some one neglected to
lock the fowl honse last night, and
the biggest gobbler is lost this morning-"
"La !" interjected Miss Ilepsy.
'And so," went on Dnlcic, "I Jnst
told him to get some one else to cook
and wash and scrub for him, and came
away without my breakfast. And if I
could only stay here until ho comes
for me"
"When' he comin'?" demanded
Miss Ilepsy.
"I I don't quite know, bnt very
soon !"
"Can yon whitewash?" said Hepsy.
"Yes," assented the girl.
"And put on wall paper?"
"Oh, yes 1 I've often repapored the
old rooms at home 1" eagerly responded
Dulcie.
"Much of a hand at sewin' ?"
"I can do almost anything with a
ncedlp."
"Well, then," nodded MissTeabody,
"yon can stay. I want a new dress
made silver-grsy poplin--and I must
hev the best room whitewashed and
papered new to-morrow. You needn't
fear but what I'll give you plenty to
Thanksgiving Day A
do, Dulcie Cooper."
"A silver-gray poplin 1" repeated
Dulcie, her blue eyes shining. "Oh,
Miss Hepsy "
"Yes," smiled the elder woman, not
without a certain complaoency, "you've
guessed it. I'm goiu' to be married,
too."
"Really?"
"He was an old bean o' mine thirty
year ago," confessed Miss Hepsy ; "but
Betsy Barnes she was killed in a rail
road Accident Centennial year she
made mischief betwixt us. So when
I seen hi name in a newspaper, I just
up nnd writ to htm, and invited him
here for Thanksgiviu', and he sent
back word he'd come. So of course
But run, Dulcie, and drivo that cow
outer the garden. I must get tho
gate pin fixed."
"That's thf reason she's got her poor
old gray hair np in crimps," thought
pretty Dulcie, as she waved her sun
bonnet to frighten the cow away.
"And a new set of teeth ! Well, I de
clare, if that ain't our old Mooley I 1
don't wonder Miss Peabody is always
complaining. Father didn't do quite
the right thing by her obont those
ducks that Billy Porter shot ; and our
fowls always scratching up her gar
den. Poor, dear Miss Hepsy I 1 do
wonder who can possibly want to
marry her?"
For blue-eyed Dulcie was only
eighteen, with hair like corn-silk and
dimples in either cheek. And Miss
Hepsy was fifty-odd and had only just
boguu to put her scant tresses up in
crimping pins and wash her wrinked
skin in buttermilk of night.
Why should she? Until now she had
not cared to look younger or prettier
than she was.
When Dulcie came back, breathless
and blooming, the turkey gobbler was
locked into the cellar cupboard, and
Mis Hepsy was slacking pail of lime,
in readiness for the whitewashing
operations.
"Because," said she, "we hain't no
time to lose !"
Duloie was kept too busy to talk,
what with wall paper, whitewash
brushes, and the breadth of the
eilver-gray poplin, which, unhappily,
proved to be such a scant pattern that
nothing short of magical ingenuity
sufficed to make it into a suitable
dress.
"But why didn't yon buy two or
three more yards?" said Dulcie.
"I hadn't no more money," said
Miss Hepsy. "Besides," a little un
wittingly, "it's sort o guess work,
after all!"
"Why? Hasn't he asked you to
marry him?"
"We kept company thirty years
ago," Miss Peabody evasively
answered. "And if Betsy Barnes
hadn't meddled but, of course, it'
juht the same. He' to be here Thanks
giviu' Day. "
And she looked sidewise at her gray
crimps.
Duloie gazed with pitying glance at
the elderly maiden.
"Everything change in thirty
vers," she thought. "Eveu a man'
heart I How cau she talk about things
beiug 'just the Bame!'
"Is this the turkey?" she said,
aloud. "Oh, what a beauty Where
did you get it?"
"It is a pretty tol'able fat one,"
said Miss Hepsy, proudly. "And I
made the slullin' arter Urandma'ara
Gibson's receipt. Look, Dulcie, the
pumpkin's all billiu' up.' Do you sup
pose you could bake pier never
wau't much of a hand at piecrust ; but
I b'lieve everything else is ready for
to-morrow. I do hope it ain't goin'
to snow."
( The old house wor it holiday as-
psjet the afternoon before Thnnksgly
ing. The new wall paper a trellis
pattern, with big, impossible roses
blooming like red blobs all over it, re
flected back the leaping blaze of the
birch logs; the ceiling winked whitnly
down at the brightly-scoured andirons.
Unlcie bad gone ont to the woods to
get some scsrlct berries, which still
hung on the pendent branches ot the
mountain ash trees, ami a few balsam
boughs, to decorate the mantles and
Miss Peabody, in her best black alpac,
cnt after the pattern of a bygone day,
was polishing tip the six silver tea
spoons which had been her grand
mother' bequest, when there came
knock at the door.
"Tramps!" was her first reflection.
"Rook agents!" the second.
But it was neither one nor the oth
er. It was a red-cheeked, black
haired yonng man, with traveling
bag in his hand.
"Yon didn't expect me so oon?"
said he.
Miss Hepsy stood with teaspoon
uplifted.
"I didn't expect yon at all," said
she. "Who on earth be you?"
"Yon invited me to visit you, and
here I am I" he exclaimed, in some
surprise. "Don't you know ma
Liorenzo Wingneld? '
Transfer of Aff63tion3.
Home familiar accent in the fresh
young voice, some indescribable, like
ness in the straight features, had
furnished the clue almost ere he
spoke.
"Lorenzo Wingfiold?" she te
peated, vaguely.
"You used to know my father,"
said he "my father, who died ten
years ago and when you kindly wrote
to me '
"I didn't know there was any yon,"
stammered Miss Hepsy. "I never
beard o' Lorenzo Wingfiold marryin'.
I a posed I was a-writiu' to him." 8ho
drew a quick, short breath. "But
you're welcome, all the same. He'
dead, is he? And nobody never let
me know 1"
"And Dulcie Cooper she lives
near here? ion see, Mias Peabody,
I met Dulcie at Decphavon last sum
mer. I coulduhelp loving her, and
1 wont back to Montana to make
home ready for her. Can you tell me
wnere 1 snail tlud her? '
"Why on earth didn't she tell me
tne name of the feller she was engaged
to?" gasped Miss Hepsy. "Where'll
you find her? Just look down the
garden path, and you 11 see her a-com-in'
up it with both arms full o' red
berries for Thanxsgivin' Day."
She turned her face resolutely awav.
She could not bear to witness the glad
meeting between the two young lovers.
"I'm sort o' left out in the cold,"
said she, with a dry sob in her throat
".No, laint, nuttier!"
Her face brightened at the sight of
ueacon Uooper, in hi Sunday suit,
coming up tne garden path.
She opened the door wide.
"Come in, deacon," said she. "Set
np to the fire and warm yourself.
Drefful snowy feel in the air, ain't it?"
"I ain't thinkin' nothin about the
outside air," said the deacon, whose
new gold spectacles made him look
portentously owlish. It' here I feel
oncomfortable. "
And be struck hi butternut-oolored
vest across the fourth button.
"Well, I declare!" said Hepsy. "I'd
onght to ha' thought of it before. You
will be lonesome Tbanksirivin Day)
Hadn't you better come over and eat
your dinner with us?"
"Mis Hephsibah," said the deacon,
"you're a dreadful forgivin creeter! I
ain't been the neighbor I'd ought to
been to you. I ain't treated Dulcinea
quite as I should ha' done. But we're
all poor errin' mortals, Hepsy May I
call you Hepsy?"
"I hain't no pa'ticular objeotion,"
said Miss Peabody, half smiling, as a
sweet young laugh sounded under
the leafless lilacs in the garden out
side. "If good Soriptur' name," said
the deacon. "It sounds sweet in my
ear. I'm a lone, solitary man, an'
you're a-livin' bore by yourself. You
ain't noway principled ag'in mar
riage, be yon?"
He put hi butternut-colored arm
around Mis Hepsy hi spectaoled
eye beamed tenderness.
"Say you will be mine I" he mur
mured. "I hain't no pa'tickler objection,"
Misa Hepsy answered. "Do lemma
go, deacon I Can't you smell thut suet
puddiu' Bcorchiu'?"
Flo there wero two weddings in the
little church, hnfura llm 'I'l.m.L
sermou was preached, and the two
l 1 ; . . .
unuci nurrieu uome to superintend
the dinner.
"I never was so astonished in mv
life," said Duloie. "It was so good
of you, Mis Hepsy I mean, mother
pirpwe iucu a surprise lor me I
The desoou's wife only smiled.
l'h deacon declared he had never
enjoyed A dinner so ranch. Little did
he know it history I
"I'm afraid the turkey' a little
tongh," said Mr. Cooper; bnt".
Ana tii (topped just mere I
A Colonial Thanksgiving.
An old Colonial Thanksgiving clinrch
service and dinner was written in the
year 1714 by the Rev. Lawrence Con
ant, of the old Houth Parish, in Dan
vers, Mass., and runs thus:
"Ye Governors wa in v house and
ricr Majesty' commissioners of ye
customs, and they sat together in a
high seat of ye pulpit stairs. Yo Gov
ernor appeared very devout and at
tentive, althongh he favors Episcopacy
and tolerates ye Quakers and Baptists.
"lie was dressed In a black velvet
coat, bordered with gold lace, and
stuffed breeches with gold bnakle at
ye knees, and white silk stockings.
"There was a disturbance in ye gal
leries, where it was filled with diver
negroes, mulattoes and Indians, and
negro called Pomp Shorter, bolongina
to Mr. Gardner, was called forth and
put in ye broad islo, where he was re
proved with great carefulness and
solemnity.
"He wa then pnt in ye deacons'
seat between two deacons in view of
ye wholo congregation ; but y sexton
was ordered by Mr. Prescott to take
him out, because of his levity and
strange contortion ot countenance
(giving grave scandal to ye grave
deacons), and put him in ye lobby un
der ye stairs; some children and
mulatto woman were reprimanded foi
laughing at Pomp Shorter.
"When ye service at ye meeting
house were ended ye council and othet
dignitarios wore entcrtaiued at yt
house of Mr. Epes, on ye hill near by,
and we had a bountiful Thanksgiving
dinner with bear' meat and venison,
the last of which was a One buck, shot
in ye woods near by. Ye bear was
killed in Lynn wood near Read
ing. "After ye blessing was crawl by
Mr. Garrich, of Wreutham, word came
that ye buck was shot on ye Lord't
dy by Pequot, an Indian, who came
to Mr. Epes with a lye in hi mouth
like Ananias of old.
"Ye council therefore refused to eat
ye venison, but it was afterward de
cided that Pequot should receive forty
stripe save one, for lying and profan
ing ye Lord's day, restore Mr. Epes ye
cost of ye deer, and considering this a
just and righteous sentenoe on ye sin
ful heathen, and that a blessing had
been craved on ye meat, ye council all
partook of it but Mr. Shepard, whose
conscience was tender on ye poiut of
ye vension."
Thanksgiving Dishes Abroad.
A few years ago one of the diplo
matic corps in Paris complimented
some Ainericau visitors by giving
Thanksgiving dinner. He made some
elaborate rcseaches regarding our Na
tional customs as applied to the day,
and with the help of his chef offered
among other things baked beans well
thinned with custard aud frozen. The
crowning glory of tho feast was
pumpkin pie. It crust Jn shingly
puffed paste fully au inch thick. The
pumpkin was meroly a filmy glaze
upou the paste, with a taffy-like con
sistency that made it cling to the eat
er's teeth.
The chef must have imparted the
secret of the National pio, at least in
part to others of his craft, for a little
later a well known restaurater an
nounced on a little placard at his es
tablishment: "Bounkin pie a l'Amer
icaino." In Berlin the traveler will find, if
he is there in November, an addition
to the meuu at aome place of refresh
ment. The addition is a flourishing
announcement to American that In
dian puddings, bean puddings, pump
kin tarts and other delicacies, which
the waiter will affably say are for the
American "Danksgiving," bnt whioh
only resemble the originals they im
itate as the mist resembles the rain.
Foreign restaurants pride them
selves upon catering to Amerioan cus
tomer' tastes, but their translations
are striking and worked out labori
ously from the dictionary. Ono Ber
lin hotel proudly put upon the menu,
"False hair stewed Amerioan fashion."
It requires some penetration to dis
cover that dish of smothered beef,
known to us a mock-rabbit, is meant.
Anil Was Detained.
Mme. Gobbler "My children, I
have sad news for vou."
The Little Gobblers "What?"
Mme. Gobbler (breaking into sobs)
"Your poor, dear fathor attended a
Thanksgiving dinnor yesterday."
A radish three feet and eight inches
in length and twenty-two inches in
ciroumference u on exhibition at Win
ter Haven, Fla.
Foresight.
Mm
"That" the ohp what wa alway
pokin' fun at me 'cause I kept from
eatiu' all the stuff they gave me ; I
knowed what I wa about. The
oouldn't fool in when 'i'tuukjiiiviu'
wot coxum" Lit.
Monn-Mcf
The night wind Idles thro' tho dreaming flrsy
Hint waking murmur low,
As soma 1-nt m-lody returning, sjtlr",
Tho luvi of long ago.
And thro' tho lur, cool dirtnneo, sepliyr
fanned, Tho moon Is sinking Into shadow land.
Ths troubled night Idrd culling plaintively,
Vand"rs on r-stlnsj wing,
Thocednrs chnritinx vespur to tho una
Await nnaniw.ir lag.
It dm'? In wash of wnva along tho strand,
Tho wlillo tho moon slip into shadow
Innl.
01 muslo of the night your minstrelsy
Is tender ns the tuns
Of somi dear voice outsailing unto mo
ltosponsive. to my own.
Vour harp-strings throb hmith an unseen
hand,
And sing thn moon to sloop In shadow
laud.
E. Pauline Johnson In Outing.
Ilt.MOROlS.
Tho dead bent is often very shrewd.
Ho is never wfso,
A woman on a vacation tisuily leave
more clothes at every pltieo sho etop
than man takes with him.
There are a good many people w ho
waut to do good, but they are going
to wait until tomorrow to begin.
Mr. Bacon When is tho cook to be
married? Mrs. Bacon Sho has brok
en her engagement. What, broken
that, too.
Homo men show remnrknblo good
tasto iu their selection of tics until
they put their uecks into tho matri
monial halter.
Stella Just look nt Mis Dcsplnino
ndMr. Bnldy over there 1 Miss Pot
ter Yes; a romauco of the middle
ages, so to speak.
Do you think tho world is getting
worse?" asked tho genial citizen."
"No," replied tho pessimist. "I
don't sco how it cnu. "
"Whore nro you going, my pretty maldV"
" I'm g'jlng n-i'hetnutlng, sir," sho said.
'.May I go with you, my pretty mnid?"
"I prrr tho kind In the tro!," sho said.
Tho man that U always waiting for
tho wagon generally finds three wheels
out of geer when it arrives and no
money to pny a blacksmith.
Wuiter Ah, but this docs not in
clude the wuiter, mister. Guest (who
has given correct change) Why, bless
me, man! did I cut tho waiter?
"Spillnt is nn awful mean man."
"What did ho do?" "His wife's n
political candidate and ho gave his
vote to her for n birthday present
Mrs, Smithfwhu is reading a humor
oiii pnper) I don't seo nuy fun in
these jokes about big bills for ladies'
huts. Mr. Smith I don't, either.
Ho (very conceited) I don't think
I should like to marry nuy girl unless
I knew she was of a self-sacrificing
nature. She But wouldn't that provo
it?
Though mothers fume when youug mon call,
And wonder If they'll ever
Oct up and go, their d uightora know
It's better Into thau never.
Wilks I heard the girls talking to
day about some fellow they said could
make any woman happy. . I wonder
who it is? Jilts Spriggs, the man
milliner,
"It must bo strange for Spaniards
to feel that they nre ruled over by a
mere infant." "Why?" "It's so un
common." "Humph! It's pluiu you
never had an infant."
Artist'a Friend (pointing to sketch)
I say, Hurry, where did you get
thut? Hurry Why, I got it out of
my head. Friend Well, its a lucky
thing for your head that you got it
out.
Ho They say you arc something of
a mind reader. She Do they? He
Yes. I am going to teat you. What
mu I thinking of? She (looking at tho
clock) Yoti nro thinking of yoiug
home.
What a sad look this moment oros-iej
That woman's face with dread!
I wonder has sho loved and lout
Or baa sho loved nud wed?
"I wish you would give mo a re
ceipt for this lovely cake, Mrs.
Bouncer." "certainly, Mr. Bounder;
but don't you think a receipt of yom
last quarter's board would do in
stead?" "I am told," remarked tho young
woman who is fond of research, "thut
twius are usually very much attached
to each other." "Yes," replied the
matter-of-fuet man; "tho Siamese
twius wero."
Mrs, Paucako (suspiciously) Why
nro you hanging around my hack
window so long? Tramp M.i'iua,
those apple pies are us puny ns pic
tures, an' I'd like to be the lY.uno o
one o' them.
Friond Why do you scud yom
liusbaud's clothes to a tailor, when nil
they need is a button? Mrs,Maiiiofcin
Well, tho fact is my husbaud married
o youug turn ue uever leurued how lo
sow ou buttons.