lie
VOLUME 3.
ItEYNOLDSVILLE, l'ENN'A., WEDNESDAY, AWJUST 15, 1894.
NUMHEJJ 14.
Itntlroitb (Tim PnMc.
1
I'FFALO. KoCHKK'IT.It & 1'ITTH-
lUUCIl KAI LWA Y.
Tin- nlmrf llui' bi'lKci-n Pullols. lilditwny.
llrnilfoiil. Niliiuinnrii. Miilliiln. INn'lifstiT.
Miurtirn l'n I Is mill points In the tipper nil
region.
(in unit lifter .lime (Till, IsMI, piiuici!
per trnlii will iiitIvi- unit ilepiirt from lulls
Creek stutloti, dully, cccpt Sundny, ns fol
low: l.HO P.M. mill S.Wt p. m. Vvonitnodiitlob
(rum riiiiHtitiivinv mill Itlu bun.
:ftO ,. M - lltillnloiitiil li.x ln -m r mull lor
llrorkwii vvtlle. Idtbrntiy .lolinMiiilniiir.Ml.
.b'Wel t. Ill ml fill il. S:il:iiiiiini'il. ItllMnlo mid
KiM'lirstrr: romit't'titm ni .loloi-oiilnitu
wlih I'. A V. 1 1 it 1 11 :i. for Wilcox, Kutii',
iit-rcn, ( 'oitv it n. I l-.ili.
10:f: A. M.-Arioinniiiiln! Inn-I'm- Sjkrs,
lllu bun iinil I'liiixsiiiiiuni'v.
I". M llni.lfnnl Aivoiii'ino.hitlon I'nr
H lit -. Ilr.x'kn il v v I ll-. I llinirni. mi
nimi. Illik'wn v, .loliiisonbiiri:, Ml. .IcHi'tl
timl llrnilforil.
3:10 I'. M . M nil lor DulloN, Hylccs. IIIr
Klin. I'linxHiMiiunt-y mul WtiNlon.
Pn-woner lire it-iiui-Mi'd to puri'liii-!' tlok
rtn liefoie entoiliu; I In mis. An cxei"s
I'linl'ili' nf Ten I'rlils will li Heeled by rim-
ihlrliiis lii-n fiifrs lire ptilit on trtiln. from
nil sin I Inns ulii'it'ii tli-lo-i olllrc Is inn Im n I nisi.
Tlioiisnnil mile ticket ni twoi-eiiM prr
milt', tfOOll flir fill ss:. between nil Htiiitnns.
.1. II. Mi l NTVIIK. Altl'lll. I llllll'lcck, I'll.
It. (I. MATiiKWrt K. t'. I..i'i-:v,
(icncrnl Sunt. lien. I'ns. A-ient
llulliilo, N. V. lioolicnor N . V
pr.N NS Y LYA N I A KAIL1 ( ) A !).
I KFl'KCT NOV. Ill, 1HIKI.
I'hlhiilclpliln It Kile Ibilhond Division Time
Tiilili'. Tntliis-lciivc Di Ift wood.
EASTWAUH
l:04 A M-Tniln s, ilnlly except Snnilny fur
hiinbiiry, lliiMtsliiiiy iiml liiterini'illiiie Htu
llnns . nri'lvlnir nt I'lillmlclphlu it:.n p.m.,
Now York, III: p. m.i Hull Iihoh- T:'.1l p. in.!
W tmhluuloli, 8:;i7 p. in. rnllmnn I'mlor cur
friim W llllntntpoii iiml piisHi'iijriT roiii-hi's
from Kiini' to IMilliiili'lplilu.
3:'M I'. M.-Train tl, ilnlly except Hiiudiiy fur
llnlTlsliiittf mill liitcrmcfltnt,' Million, nr.
riving nt riillmli'lplilii 4::m a. m.: New York,
?:;i:i A. M. Tlirotitili I'liui'li from llilltnls In
Wlllltinisinirt. I'ulltntiti Slccplnir cur from
HtiiTlslnirir to I'lithiilclpliiii iiml New York.
IMilltiili'lplilii pitsst'iii:i'!-s run rt'innlii In
sleeper iinillstiirlHsl tinttl 7:nn a. m.
t:M P. M.-Tniln 4. ilnlly for Simlnirv, llnrrls-htll-it
iiimI Itili't'tm-illiili' HtHtloim, nit-lvlntf lit
I '1 1 1 1 it 1 1 ' I l i i il , tl:.'i a. M. ; Ni'tv Vork, !::ni
A. M.; llnltlmori', :'-1i A. M.: Wnslilimton. "::l
A.M. I'lillmmi run from Krli'iiml Wllllmns.
port to riillmli'lplilii. I'nssciiii-H In si.pir
for Itiiltlmnrp mill XViislilmrton will Ihi
triiiisfi'rrril lino Wiislilinitonsli'i'pi'r lit Mnr
rlslinru. PtiHsi'infi-r roih'lii'H from Kill to
I'lillnili'lplilii mill Yillliimsxirt to Itnlll
nioru. WESTWAUD
7:32 A. V. Trnln I, ilnllv I'xri'pt 8:inilny for
Klilitwiiy, liiillols, Clermont timl IiiIit-
iimmIIiiH' st ut Ions. Li'iivi'H llliluwuy nt
r. M. for Kill-.
fl:!W A. M. Trnln 3, ilnlly for Erie mill Inti'r-
nii'illnie iHilniM,
4:27 I'. M. --Trnln II, ilnlly i'xri'pt Hiimlny for
KnnHiinil Ititi'rnit'iliiiti'Hltitlojm.
THHOroil TltAlNS KOK II1I1TV(HII)
V HO M 1 HE E A ST AM) HU I, T 1 1 .
TRAIN 11 li'ftvi'H I'lillnili'lplilit H:."VI a. in.
Wllsllllllfton, 7.511 A. M.; Itllltltliolf, H:4.1 A. M.I
Ullkcslimit'. 11:1.1a. M.: ilnllv I'Mvnt Him-
lny. ni rlvliiK nt In Hi il m nvi" i. m. lilt
l'n 1 1 mn n I'lirlor nil' from I'lillnili'lplilit to
i 1 1 1 in niHiort .
T1IA1N Hli'iivi'liNi'W Vork nt 8 p. m.t l'lillii.
(Ii'lpliln, p. m.; Washington, HUH u. in.
t
mi n in
tort'. 11:41) t). m.i ilnllv nri-liliiLr nl.
lrlftwootl lit lls.VI it. m. I'lillmmi Hli'i'iilnif
nirs f noil I'lillnili'lplilit to Kill' mill from
Washington mill Iinil Imoi-i to W'lliliimsport.
tind tliroiiKli piissi'inri'i-roiii'lii's from I'hlhi
1 (Ii'lpliln to Ki ll' iiml lliiltlmoiu lo U lllliiins
port mill to IHillofs.
THA1N I li'iivi-s lti'iinvo nt II n. m., ilnllv
vxi'i'Pt. Hiimluy, urrlvliin nt Dririwooil 7:;i
u. m.
JWUXSONUUIMJ KAILKOAD.
(Daily exci'iit Similiiy.)
THAIN 11) li'it viH Hliluwuy nt ti:4nii. m.: .loliti
Minliiii ir nt li:,Vt it. in., iii i IvIiik nl ( li'i niont
tit IH:4. n. m.
Tli.MN -M Ii'hvph Cli-rniont nt IftM n. ni, nr
rittinr nt .lolinsoiilniru at 11:40 h. -in. mill
Kltlttuity nt 11:" il. in.
It
IDGWAY & CLKAlil'IKLU It. It.
DAILY KYCKIT SUN'DAY.
KOCT1IWAKD. M)H I IIWAIU).
TTST
-ATM-
STATIONS.
A.M. 1.M.
12 II)
12 IK
'W
12 a!
12;in
Kdi
1'44
40 Itliluwuv I :m n;ii)
4S Islnml Kim 1 20 0 22
"2 Mill llavi'ii 1 in H t:
i rj Cmylmiil I ml mil
10 Shun h MIIIk 12.111 (MO
1.1 Blue KiH'k 12.14 A M
17 Vlni'ymil Kim 12.12 Bill
20 ('airli'r 12 m ft 4s
M ltroi'kwnyvlllii I2W (i:m
42 Mi'MInn Snmuilt 12 : It 2(1
4N llui vi'.vs Kim 12 20 20
:V1 1'iillH t'li'i'k 12 20 ft 1.1
oft liiillols im a oo
12 4(1 II)
1(111 111
1 1(1 II)
1 14 ill
120 10
14.1 11
TUAIXB LEAVE HIIIOWAY.
Ensl
Tmln H,
Train ,
Train 4,
waru. Wimtwitrd.
7:17b. m. Tinln ;), ll::w n. m.
1:4ft p.m. Train 1, :() p. di.
7 :ftft p. m. Train II, K:2ft p. m.
8 M. I'KEVOST.
Ucn. MuiiHKor.
J. K. WOOD,
Cii n. IMms. Ag'U
A LLRGHENY VALLEY IIAILWAY
COMPANY cnnimoncliiK Sunduy
May 27, 1894, Low Grado l)tviion. '
CA8TWAIID.
STATIONS. No. 1. KOA. No. 11. !
. . A. M. P. M. A. M. P. U r. U
Bed Han k 10 4." 4 40
LitWHonliiim 10 .17 4 A2
Now Hi'tlilnhum It HO 5 2.1 6 12
Oak UIiIko 11 ax ft III ft 2o
MayHvlll II 40 ft 41 ft 2k
HommiTvllle ... 12 0,1 dill ft 47
HrookviUifc. 12 2.1 ft 20 a 07
Hull 12 ai 2ii a i;i
Kullpr 12 i a as a 2.1
Ucynoldsvlllo.. 1 00 8 57 8 44
l'lincoHsl 1 ( 7 0.1 a (12
Eallitrrwk 1 2 7 2.1 7 00 10 M 1 Ha
HiiHoIm 1 ai 7 M 7 pi a ix, 1 44
Hiiliula 1 4H 7 47 7 Zl
Wlntnrhurn .... 1 ft" 7 ft" 7.14
l'l'iiHuld 2 ui h ui 7 40
Tylnr 2 1ft 8 HI 7 so
lll.'n Kinder 2 1 M 27 III
llmit'toltt) 2 l M 44 8 Is
runt 2 M 8 M 8 2
Driftwood 8 2 a 2.1 8 M
P.m. P. M A. M. A. M. P. M
WESTWARD.
Stations. No.2 No.a No.10 KM 110
.. , A. U. A. M. P. M. P. II. P. II
Driftwood 10 10 (l on a lii
Ornnt 10 42 A 112 7 Ml
Himetetto 10 ft: ft 42 7 111
Glen KUlier 1100 ft All 7 .tl
Tyler 11 20 ft lo 7 44
l'mimild 11 HO a 20 7 A4
Wlnturburn 111 a 2ii 8 01
Hnhula 11 47 8 7 8 12
DuHoU 1 UI a A 8 2.1 13 10 ft 00
KalU Creek 120 7 2n 8 It! 13 20 6 10
PancoaHt 1 H4 7 2" 8 40
KeynoldkVllle.. 1 43 7 40 8 4m
Kuller 1 AH 7 S7 9 0.1
Bell 2 10 8 Oil 8 17
Hrookvllle t 20 8 1!) 9 2.1
BuDimervllle.... 2 30 8 Us 9 44
Mayavllle 2 AN 8 A7 10 04
OakKldxe 8 OH 9 Oft 10 1M
New Uethlebeni 8 1ft 9 1A 10 25
Lawxonham.... 8 47 9 47
Bed Bank 4 00 10 UI
A. M. A. M. P. M. A M. P. II.
Trains dally except Sunday.
DAVID MoCABUO, Oia'L. BOPT.
JAB. P. ANDERSON, Ocm'U PASS. AOT.
THE WHITE RUBBER GOAT.
Lnnl Myrnn liHiks with a linnlily ulnro
Strnluht nut from the nhnlf at me,
Willi tho linnilMimrnt wara to III" nmooth
blsipie lintr
Tlmtnn nrtlsi wnnlil rare tonpp.
Anil thr pronili'sl curl to h! hIIciiI Hp,
Anil thr rol'lrst anil lofili-st ninllr,
W ith hlit hrml ri't Imi k nt n Inrilly tip
O'er that collar nf llnrlnit at yip.
And down In the pornpr nf that anme phplf
Aa tnrrk ns a ir"nt inl(;ht lin,
A w hile tnhh-r aunt a-lmmeil of litmnl r -
HIiiimU wnhhltiifr his lH:irl nt t:i'.
A w hltp rtihbiTuo.'it thnt 1 li'ipi'cm d to knew
Has a wonih-rfnl whlslln pomi'whrrn
ronrralril In the Trillin that's htil below
Tho wealth of his rubber hnlr.
Tho whllo rtibbpr Koal is alioniply Rimt,
With ryes that are blnoil-hof anil red.
And lumpy whiskers that hiru from bhlhrnnt
In a bunch IIUu a lHnnl of lend.
And the mien that liu shrieks from Ills ntomnrb
Is shrill
And bis llKurolsnwkwnrd and sipiat.
But I ween thnt that w hllo rubber Kent will
fnllill
An errand which Hyrnn rnnnot.
Oh, Myron, look down with your cold, blsipie
eya
And scorn tho wbltr (font if you will!
You never can quirt my baby's cry
With thnt t'otinteiinneo hiiiiuhty and rhlll.
Thlsrrltlrof art with her rosy list
Will iiis you nil scornfully by
For the Kont whoso red mouth Into White baa
been kbsed
And whose voice Is n sqitpejin whlstlo's pry.
Ladles' Home Journal.
JOKES AND JOKERS.
SOME OF THE FUN AND FUNMAKER3
OF BYGONE DAYS.
From Dloffenrn to Afore Modern Men The
English Furnish Rntlirr a Heavy Class of
Humor Inexhaustible Supply of Irish
Bull.
Tlioro is mnro renl humor in a mod
ern clodhopper thnn in nu ancient phi
losopher. Tho jokes thnt have como
down to ns from Greece are mostly poor
ItulT, tint collejfo loys are gltid to Ret
any comfort at nil from root RrulibliiK,
and 'therefore thny InnBh nt DioReucs
mid Aristoplmnes. It is snld thnt tho
old cynlo beKd n tnb to livo in and
toted this nhont where ho liked and
sqnnttcd nuder it when ho plowed.
Wlien Alexander called on him in this
polntinl residence, ho asked what he
conld do for him. "Got out of my sun
Unlit, " suid Diogenes. Thnt wns tolera
bly good, but uncivil. The nnsty old
cub with his tub could he duplicated by
a thonniind trnmps in America any day,
and ninny of thorn are doubtless mistier
and smarter. Pluto is snid to hnve
preitched fntnlity. When a rogue rnn
agniust him with a beam and excused
himself ns "fated to doit," "Yds,"
snid Plato, "I see, but I also am fated
to bent you for it," and gnve tho fellow
a good cnuing. For sportiveuess Horace,
was tho most pleasing of the nncients,
but his verses aro very amatory and
soino of them moro suggestive thnn a
French piny. Charles Lamb is worth
20 of him, only thnt Horace could bo a
poet when ho chose of a different sort
Homer's plcturo of Tiiersites is the old
est burlesque thnt I remember A joke
coming down from 1000 II. C ought to
bo pretty good. Will M. Quad Inst ns
long?
English joking is genernlly heavy.
Hero is 0110 told by Jninos Pnyn. A wit
ness in a slander enso sworo that Miss
lies wns thrown over tho wall a dozen
times. "What, "snid the judge. "Who
wns Miss lies, and why did they throw
her ever?" It was missiles. I cannot see
anything so very funny in Sydney
Smith's wishing ho could, on a certain
hot day, take oil his flesh-nud sit in his
bones. But Hood nud Charley Lamb are
a brnce thnt no one ought ever to bo
without. I have given up trying to keep
a complete set of either. They are bor
rowed and rolishod, and, I suppose, road
to pioces.
Hood was enpitnl in every direction
he tnrned, whether pnthos, antire, pun
or pure joking. His taking off of cele
brated characters was as good as any
thing. You should first read Boswell's
"Johnson" and then read Hood's
" Johnsoniana. " Bnt does anybody read
BoBwell nowadays? Alas, for onoe fa
mous books I Hood, says Johnson, was
onoe consulted by a lady as to the de
gree of turpitude and spanking dne her
boy for robbing an orchard. "Madam, "
said the ponderous doctor, "it all hangs
on the weight of the boy. I remomber
my school follow, Davy Garrick, who
was a little fellow, robbing dozen or
chards with impunity, bnt the very first,
time I climbed an apple tree, for I was
always solid, the bough broke, and it
was called a Judgment on me. I sup
pose that is why justice is represented
with a pair of scales. "
Sheridan was the best of jokers) but
half that is attributed to him is floating
Wit thnt needed a father. It is probably
true that he asked his roistering bnt
highborn crew one night whether they
should drink like beasts or like men.
Some one snid, "Men, of oourse." "Oh,
then," cried Sheridan, "we'll got aw
ful drunk, for beasts only drink what
they need. "
Irish wit is famous the v. jrld over.
Port of it consists in the brogue, but it
Is rare that an Irishman has not sur
prises of speech, in which consists the
wit of the highest ordor. Le Fann, in
his "Seventy Years of Irish Life," has
collected a great doal that is delicious.
A witnoss that was badgered by a law
yer was asked, "You're a nice follow,
now, ain't you?" Witness answered,
"I am, sir, and if I were not on oath,
sir, I'd say the saie of yon. " Another
witness was asked by a bullying coun
sel, "80 you had a pistol?" "I had,
sir." "Who did. you Intend to shoot?"
"I won't iiitendlii to shoot no 0110. "
"So yon got it for nothing?" "No, I
didn't." "Como, cornel On your oath,
what did yon get thnt pistol for?" "For
three and liliii'penco, sir, ill Mr. Rich
ardson's shop. "
Tho Irish bull is of ten better thnn
any deliberato wit. Sir Hiclmrd Steele
insisted theso hulls worn owing to the
nlr of tho country, "nixl, sir," he add
ed, "if nn Knglislitiian was born here,
I don't doubt he'd do tho same." In a
debate on taxation 1111 Irish member of
parliament insisted that "n tax on lentil
er would press heavily 011 tho barefoot
ed peasantry. " Sir Boylu Roche replied
they could '"make tlm under leathers of
wood. " Tho Hiuiio Sir Uoylo urged tho
union of Ktiland and Ireland, so that
"tho barren hills would becotno fertile
vnlleys. " In another debnto lin nnswer
ed, "1 boldly answer in tlm nlllrmntive
Not" Hu wns ntithor of "Yon should
refrain from throwing open tho flood
gate of democracy, lest yon should
pnvo tho way for n general conflagra
tion. " At a race nu Irishman was do
lighted because lit) wns "first nt Inst. "
When they laughed, ho lidded, "Sure,
wusn't 1 behind before" One day a
friend ot liishop Ilramstoun nppronched
Mm with the remark that ho wanted "a
wifo, young, rich and pretty, " and ho
wanted the bishop to pick her out for
him. "Tut, tutl" said the bishop. "My
name is liramstone, not Ilriinstonul I
do not make matches!" K. P. Powell
in St Louis Globe Democrat.
" A MODERN RALEIGH.
Bis Velvet Clunk Was Only a Ilandannn,
but Ilia Spirit Was Itlght.
It Is not true that manly chivalry it
being starved out nud replaced by mere
politeness in theso (lays. Homo young
men seem to hnve grown into a resem
bianco in usefulness and strength to the
cignrettes thnt are ever present with
them, nud tunny young women nro
adopting the cutnwny coat and tho
man's necktie, but tho spirit of Sir Wal
ter Raleigh has not vuuished from the
earth, and dainty womanliness doth still
inspire chivalry.
She was a fair West Philndelphinn
who had just returned from a shopping
tour in tho city. She carried three bun
dies too precious to be left for a deliv
ery wagon nud a mackintosh and two
boxes of candy also balanced in uncer
tain equilibrium about her. He was a
big, plain, everyday workingman, and
his weapon wns a pick, with which he
waged successful war upon tho cob
blestones and the dirt of a bndly muti
lated West Philadelphia stroet Three
little strips of wood were supposed to
be enough at the point whore she dis
mounted from the car to enoblo foot
passengers to cross the muddy thorough
faro, but just as she came opposite tho
man a littlo tilt of tho flimsy pontoon
bridge sent one of her daintily shod
feet up to the nnkle into a fine yellow
tnudhole, and when sho drew it out it
was a sight to make one weep. Sho
could not go on without hopelessly soil
ing the edge of her skirt Sho could not
stoop for bundles. Sho stood in petri
fied perplexity. Then tho spirit of Sir
Walter Ruleigh showed itself. The pick
was dropped, and tho man grabbed a
little stick and said, "Wnit, miss, an
I'll clean yer shoe off. " There seemed
to bo nothing elso to do, so she waited
The rest of tho gang lenued on their
picks nud shovels and watched tho scone
out of tho corners of their eyes. When
ho had done nil tho execution he conld
with tho stick and quite a respoctablo
pilo of clay had been scraped from the
small shoe, ho whisked out a red ban
danna handkerchief, a sort of substitute
for Ralolgh's crimson oloak, and, still
kneeling before her, notwithstanding
her protest thnt he would get it dirty,
proceeded to clean the shoe with that
Sho thnuked him and walked down the
street with a littlo blush on her cheek.
He tonohod his well worn hat and gazod
after her for a fow moments, then stuff
ed the bandanna in his overalls pocket,
ayiug, "It wasn't very cloan anyhow,"
and was again a common laboring man.
Philadelphia Press.
ODDITIES OF SCOTCHMEN.
tarn Delightful Peculiarities Pointed Out
. by an Excellent Authority.
Borne dolightful oddities of Scotch
character nro given in Wilmot Harri
son's new book, says The Scottish
Americnn.
Professor Adam Ferguson, the author
of "Roman History," at whose house
Burns and Scott mot for the first and
only time, eschowod wine and animal
food, "bnt huge masses of milk and
vegetables disappeared before him. In
addition, his temperature was regulat
ed by Fahrenheit, and often, when sit
ting quite oomfortably, ho wonld start
np and put his wife and daughters in
commotion because his eye had fallen
on the instrument and he was a degree
too hot or too cold. " Yet at the age of
72 he started for Italy with bnt a single
companion to prepare for a new edition
of his "Roman History," nor did he die
till he had attained tho age of 03.
Another "charaotor" is Dr. Alexan
der Adam, rector of the high school and
author of a work on Roman antlquitios
and a man of extraordinary industry.
When at college, he lived on oatmeal
and small boons, with an occasional
penny loaf, In a lodging which cost him
fourpenoe a week. In later lifo be de
voted himself absolutely to the work of
teaching. In addition to his classes in
the high school he appears to have bad
for his private pupils somo of the most
eminent Scotchmen of his day.
Rev. Sir Henry Wellwood Monoreiff,
member of a Scottish family distin-
gnlshed during several generations in
connection both with church mid stnto,
appears to hnvn given wonderful Bnn-
duy suppers. "This mostndmirnblontid 1
somewhat old fnshloned gentleman wns !
0110 of those who iihvnys dined between 1
sermons, probably without touching
wine. Ho then walked buck from his
smnll lionso in tho enst end of (Jueen 1
street to his church, with ills bonds, his 1
littlo cocked hat, his tall cane anil his I
cardinal nlr; preached, if it wns Ills j
turn, a sensible, practical sermon, walked
homo in tho same style, took ten about J
B, spent some hours in his study, at 1) '
had family prnyers, nt which ho was
delighted to seo tho friends of his sons,
nfter which tho whole party sat down
to roasted hares, goblets ot wlnoand his
powerful talk."
NOT A TRUE MURPHY.
He llnd tlto Name nnd the l'liysdiui', but
I.nrknl the Itmiriie.
A Boston scion of tho grent Celtlo
family of Murphy, while traveling in
Ireland recently, emtio nornss n littlo
village where tho man who did not bear
his patronymic wns regarded ns o ruri
osity. While wandering about this in
teresting hamlet ho chanced to como
upon a littlo tavern, nud being nthlrst
entered tho taproom for beer. Be it hero
known that the traveler wns considera
bly nbovo tho nverngo in stature, mid
this wns noticed by two old habitues
sitting by I ho flro. Ono of theso pres
ently remarked to Ills companion,
"Mike, that giutlcmaii is taller than
Jerry Murphy, Ol think." "Ah, now,"
replied tho other through tho 2 inch
stem of a T. D., "ho's not" with a
rising reflection on tho end of tho sen
tence. "Yis, ho is," retorted the first,
with conviction. "Cnn't Oi seo Jerry's
mark thero on tho dure?"
Tho traveler's nttentlon wns then
called to a doorpost whereon wns mark
ed tho statnro of four men, all over 0
feet 4 inches in height. Tho tallest wns
Jerry Murphy, and Ills mark wns 0 feet
6 inches. Accepting this challenge,
tho trnveler stepped np to the doorpost
and hnd his height mnrked, nnd, lot it
wns a full half inch nbovo thnt of Jerry.
, When he hnd written his nnmo over
his mark, for ho Noticed thnt tho others
were so designated, nnd that they were
all Mnrphys, somo one present called
out, "Ho's a Murphy tool" Bnt one of
the old fellows by tho flro wonld not
havo it so and replied: "Indado ho's
not. Ho hasn't got tho broguol" Bos
ton Transcript.
Enameling Cast Irnn.
It is noted ns n somewhat singular
fnct thnt there nro not moro thnn two
processes for enameling cast iron, not
withstanding tho ntnount of ingenious
effort put forth in this direction. Ono
of theso is tho hot process, in which tho
iron, hentod to a vivid red, is powdered
with a flnx powder, borosillonto of lead
distributed with a sieve, then honted,
and when tho flux fuses it is powdered
afresh with glnss more soluble, forming
the glaze of tho ennmel, but this opera
tion is attended with danger nnd is not
adapted to lorgo articles or for decora
tion. Tho second process, which meets
tho objections named, consists in dress
ing or coating tho nrticlo first with mag
netic oxido, then dipping it in borosili
cntcsof lend, colored by metallic oxides,
to which is ndded 11 littlo pipe clay, in
order to give rather more body. Tho
nrticlo thus covered cold, by dipping or
witli brushes, is put into the furnace,
tho eunmel ndhering nud vitrifying nt
the usual fnrnnco temperature used by
eniunelers, nnd by putting a contiug of
colored eunmel with a brush on a first
coat simply plain it is possiblo to make
any decorations desired, which may be
burnt in nt 0110 operation for outdoor
vases, eto. Now York Sun.
Quarter Deck and Gangway.
Quarter deck originntcd from the ar
rangement that the portion of the deck
0 -called wai about one-fourth of the
wtiole spnae. Fore 01 forward oastle
received its nnme as being the principal
part of the ship in which the fighting
took place, being raised much above the
level ot the other part ot the dock and
holding a commanding position Poop,
the raised after part of the ship, set apart
tor officers, both la meaning and deri
vation, comes from the Latin,
Gangway has been handed down from
the days ol the ancient galleys of the
Phoenicians, Carthogenlant and Ro
mans, it having been board whtob
ran along the whole length, serving si
passage for the rowers to and from
their teats. It wai also utilized at a
resting place toi the matt and sail
when not to use The term now denotes
t place ol exit or entrance from 01 to e
vessel, generally from the shore, by
meant of 4 long plank ot platform.
Chambers' Journal
Meat Water,
Every good cook is careful to dispose
It once of the water in which meat has
been washed. Only a very few honrs
are nocossary to change it into a foul
smelling liquid if the temperatnre is
suitable. This change is due to a little
plant called Baotorium termo. A drop
of this pntrid material under the micro
scope reveals many thousands of them,
aoting nnder a peculiar vibratile motion
What we truly and earnestly aspire
to be that In some sense we are. The
mere aspiration, by changing the frame
of the mind for the moment, realises it
self. Mrs. Jameson.
The manuscripts of Fenelon show no
change. It is said there are not 10 era
ares in a hundred pages.
THIS IS NEW YORK.
APletnre nt the Metropolis ns Dratrn hynn
Knalhli Artl.t.
I regard with interest tho custom
honso olllcer, tho first American I havo
seen on nntlvo soil, and can scarcely nn
swer his questions for staring. Ho is n
handsome, weary man, exactly liko mm
of Leech's volunteer odlcers of 1RI10,
nnd ho writes rapidly, holding tho pun
between the first nnd second fingers.
There's Ilarthohll's gignntio iitatno nt
Inst, nnd theru nro tho piers nud swing
of Brooklyn bridgo. Sam has fastened
up nil my luggage, nud wo shako hands
heartily. I shall never forget him nnd
tho oranges ho brought mo stuck on n
fork.
As I go down tho gangway n crowd
of faces look up nt 1110 lrom tho duel.
A twinkling Irishman darts nt mo with
a telegraph form nnd a pencil. IIo
leaves them with me, with n sweet, wist
ful fiiile, nud rushes nwny nfter others.
My lnggago is nil waiting for mo un
der my initial in tho liugn shed. I hnve
to open every trunk and bag nnd wntch
large, dirty hands play over my clean
linen. Sam comes to shako hands with
mo iigaiu and gets mo nn Irishman nnd
a truck to talto my luggage to n fly. An
Irishman opens tho door; nn Irishman
drives mo. Tho first shop I see is Michael
Feeney's saloon bar.
I drivo jolting over tramway lines,
under elevated railways, between piles
of snow its high as the early wnlls of
Rome. I seo nn nnmistnkablu Irish po
liceman, in n helmet with a turned
down brim, regarding with ndmirntion
a colored lady sauntering through the
slush of tho sidewalk in goloshes. We
are nearly smashed by a cablo enr slink
ing nloug, ringing a funereal clanging
bell. I seo a disnsed lamppost, with a
dnrk red letter box fastened to it; next,
a tall, black, electric light polo. On
tho lamppost I read, on ono side, Fifth
avenue; on tho other, East Twenty-sixth
street. On tho top of a hugo building
them's a hugo sky sign advertising
certain cigarettes. On the face of
it three large clocks tell tho timo in
London, New York and Denver. As we
jolt past, up Fifth aveuuo, I rend on a
bonrd, "Oh, Mamie, won't you tnke
your honey boy to see Peter F, Dniley
In 'A Country Sport?' " This Is New
York. Cornhlll Magazine.
What Pnsseil Between Them.
Two men of more or less bibnlosity
who had always been friends got into a
row one night which ended In one get
ting pretty badly battered nnd tho other
being nrrested for nssnult and bnttery.
On the trial one of tho attorneys wns
quite anxious to know why two such
friends hnd got Into such trouble.
'Will you state Just how the diffi
culty originated?" he inquired of the
one on the stand.
The witness told a very much involv
ed story
"That Isn't what I want to know, "
laid the attorney sharply
The witness made another try.
'That's no clearer than the other, "
objected the attorney "Cuu't you tell
just what passed between you and noth
ing more?"
The face of the witness showed a
light in It
"Oh." he said, "t that what you
want to know?"
"Ol course it ts. Tell that and no
more. ' '
"Well, as near at 1 enn remomber,
there were 10 beers, four whiskies, two
gin fizzes, two Mnnhnts, one brandy
and one vermouth, one bottle of cham
pagne" "Thnt's enough," interrupted the at
torney. "All the rest is easily explain
ed now. "Detroit Free Press.
Temperature of the Karth.
Qoldthwoite's Geographical Maga
sine is authority for the statement that
the temperature of the enrth increases
one degree on an average for each 55
feet of descent into its interior, basing
Its conclusions on observations made at
the groat shaft at Sperenberg, Oermany,
which is the deepest boring ever made
by man 4, 1 72 feet. At such a rate of
Increase the earth's temperature of only
100 miles is 18,000 degrees above the
ero of Fahrenheit's thermometer. One
curious point In this connection is that
18,000 degrees is Professor Rosetti's es
timate of the probable temperature of
the sun. St Louis Republio.
Bewildering.
"What has become of that man who
used to call here so often to see you?"
asked Mrs. Eostside of her house serv
ant, a rather good looking girL
"He doesn't come any more to see me
lince he got married, " was the sad re
fly. "Oh, he has got married, haa he?
Whom did he marry?"
"Me." Texas Sif tings.
Condensed Correspondence.
Many Philadophians upon arriving
abroad make use of the cable code. The
first message usually received by friends
and the one that gives the moat pleas
ure is that containing the word "abla
tion," whloh means arrived safe and
well; good voyage. Amelia.
II Is estimated that of the 5,000,000
Inhabitants In Loudon over 1,000,000
are poor, living on leu than f S week
for each family. Over 800,000 are In
chronic poverty.
Nothing indeed bnt the possession of
tome power van with any certainty dis
cover what at the bottom Is the true
Character of any man. Burke.
SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION.
Remarkable Cases nf Its Occurrence la and
EnYct an Human llndles,
Modical litiTiitnro of this country ns
well ns that of England nnd continental
Ettropo relates many rcmarknhlu in
stances of tho spontaneous combustion
of tho human liody. In nil such cases,
which nro tho moro interesting on ne
count of their comparntivo rarity, tho
victim hits liecn aperson addicted to tlm
Immoderate uso of spirituous liquors,
either ns n beverage or In tho form of n
bath. Littlo by littlo nil tho water nnd
other liquids of tho body nro replaced by
alcohol, nud then nil that is itircssnry
to cause n catastrophe is to find somo
means of applying flamo totliospiritons
gases which nro escnplng from every
poro. Occasionally the breath of the
poor victim is fired whilo lighting a
pipo or a cigar, or it may Iwi that n
flamo comes in contact with nnd lighti
tho nlcoholio vapors which nro escaping
from somo other portion of tho body.
When onen tho flro is npplied, a bluish
flamo extends very rapidly to nil parti
of tho body, leaving it n shapeless mass,
of churred flesh nnd calcined bones. In
mnny instances attempts have been
made to extinguish tho flames with wa
ter, but nl ways without success. When
tho nireotod parts of tho victim nro
touched, a fatty matter attaches itself to
tho finger, still continuing to burn nnd
giving off a very disngreeablo odor,
something similar to thnt which aviscs
from burning a mixture of horn, hair
and wool.
During nil this nmo a thick black
smoko arises from tho body nnd attaches
Itself to tho surface of nil objects with
which it comes in contact, tho "set
tlings" from it being in the form of a
sweat, n net nous to the tonch and of nn
unlxmrablo fetor. In the majority of
such cases combustion is only arrested
when tho flesh has been rednccd to
cracklings nnd the bone to powder.
Viiiceut, in his "Curiosities Respecting
Man," says, "Commonly tho feet nnd
portion of tho head are not burned, but
usually when tho combustion is finished
it is difficult to beliovo thnt tho inciner
ated mass is nil thnt is left of a human
body. "St Louis Republio.
COMMERCIAL TRAVELERS.
The Kmrllsh Drummer Compered With If It
Fellow Salesman In America,
Tho commercial trnveler in England
is littlo difforont from his American
brother, pursuing the same line of pol
icy in "getting there" so far as securing
trade is concerned. His invariable rulo,
however, is thnt his first price given to
a locnl merchant is his last and only
one. Thero is no going in tho morning
with an offiT nnd then in tho afternoon
with nn extra inducement to mnko the
trndo. This being tho invariable rulo, it
saves much labor nnd npprehenslon in
tho mind of tho buyer that ho has not
dono so well as ho could have done with
moro diplomacy.
Everything is dono for tho comfort of
tho traveler, and at the hotelH a special
apartment called the commercial room
is set apart for his exclusive use. In this
room smoking is prohibited until 0 p.
m., a place being devoted to that pur
pose nt other times. Tho traveler takes
his meals in tho commercial room, tho
dinner being a set affair in which all
travelers in tho house generally partici
pate. Tho oldest mini is at the head ot
the table and is called the president,
whilo nt the foot is tho yonngest mnn.
and he is termed vice president. Selec
tions of food aro often made by vote,
and two or three will club together for
special dishes or wines, the president
generally putting the question.
A dinner costs in this way from 60 to
75 cents and other meals in proportion,
very good food nd service being had
throughout Great Britain and Ireland
at these prices. At these dinners and la
the general conversation no introduction
of on to (be other, If ttrangers, is
necessary, and tl! join in the genera!
conversation and itory telling, t trait
common to the whole brotherhood of
oommercial travelers, be they found tn
London, New York or Kamchatka.
Hardware.
A Careful Father.
"Look here," said the parent to the
schoolteacher, "I see that one of tho
lines in my boy's copybook is, 'Less
haste, more speed. ' "
"Yes."
"And here's another that reads, 'The
longest way round is the shortest way
home,' "
"Yes."
"Well, I want It stopped. I don't
want those moldy proverbs festooned
around his intellect. I'm educating him
for business, not the United States sen
ate. "Washington Star.
Rla-ht In His One.
A man from the country heard some ,
one talking about the Woman's Ex
change. "Woman's Exchange?" he in
quired, "what's that for?"
"For the exchange of women," said
wag.
"Golly," said the countryman, who
looked as though he waa henpecked,
"I'll go around and see." Kings too
Freeman,
What May Be.
Old Fashioned Passenger (awakening
suddenly from a dose) I beg your par
don for not seeing yon standing, madam.
Please take my seat.
Woman Conductor (shaking him
sain) Say, uncle, how much longer
re you going to keep me waiting for
your fare? Chicago Tribune.