Irl
Pip
VOLUME 2.
REYNOLDSVILLE, PENN'A., WEDNESDAY MARCH 21, 1894.
NUMBER 44.
THE OLD VALENTINE.
A souvenir of tha bygone years.
Breathing old odors faint as musk
Which roses spill In dew nnd dnnki
It blasoned rmse il Tilled by team
Its faded Cupid drooping low,
With broken wing and rusty bow
A leaf of life tnrned old and near.
Yet Mill she holili It iweet and dear.
For love embalms encli simple Una
Of that old, faded valentine.
(the pores opon the cherished page
A lily paat her morning glow.
But fair a In the long ago.
To anrh aa he what matter age.
Whose lore I ageless, and whom troth
Makes In her anul eternal youth?
Ptlll nnforgntten kisses thrill
With raptnra her swift pnlses: still
Phe cries: "How bright this world would bt
Could yoo, O Love, come bark to me,
As once my own and only mine,
My bonny knight and valentine!
"The fault was mlne-oh, hapless fatel
To learn our need and blame too late.
When prayers and tears cannot atone
For wrong and sorrow dealt our ownl"
But, lo, a tread of eager feet
Presages something strange and sweetl
He comes, forgiven, to forgive!
"Sweetheart, to love that Is to live,
And love like ours can never die."
Nor need to voice her heart's reply!
More eloquent the dumb, dear sign
Of that long treasured valentine,
New York Ledger,
THE TRAINED SEALS.
CAPTAIN WESTON TELLS ABOUT HI8
THREE PERFORMERS.
How He and a Famous German Fisherman
Captured Bobby, Blbby and Tommy.
Borne of Their Tricks They Lin L'poa
alt Water Fish.
Of all the different animals that go to
mako np the animal kingdom fiah ia
perhaps the strangest that should be
chosen for training, yet the acta done by
the three seals under Captain Weston 'a
guidance show that even a fish can do
wonderful things. Those now perform
ing every day are the oldest seals ia
taptivity. Seals are extremely delicate,
and they rarely live away from their
native sea and rocks for more than a
year, and yet these aeala, Bobby, Bibby
and Tommy, bave been performing reg
ularly for ais years. Tbeir longevity Is
Undoubtedly doe to the fact that they
receive great care.
The exact spot of the birthplace of
these aeala is not known, bnt when tbey
were yonngstersthey were found on one
of the islands off Ooxabaven inUerroany.
The German government does all it can
to protect its fisheries, and as seals are
constant menace to fish the govern
ment pays a reward of 5 marks for the
capture of each seal. There is a famous
seal fisherman in Germany named
Wortbman, and when Captain Weston,
who bad been on many sealing and
whaling expeditions in the North sea,
determined that be would give up the
life of a sailor and become a landlubber
it occurred to bim that the training of
teals would be novel and profitable. He
went to Worthman, and together they
captured the three sleek little fellows.
There are many islands outsideof Coxs
haven, and one of the smallest waa
chosen. In describing the capture Cap
tain Weston said :
We atretohod the net on one aide of one
of the smaller islands and then went to
the others and shot off pistols and made a
noise, driving many seals into the wa
ter and against the net. We bad to
work very quickly, becanse the seals
dived down and became entangled in the
net, and a seal will drown if kept five
minutes under water. When we finally
palled them op, we fonnd that we bad
about 20 seals, hnt when they found
themselves altogether they became en
raged and fought among themselves,
biting, scratching and tearing, even
killing one another, until there were
only three left, and those three are the
same three I have today.
Oue has only a faint idea of the
amount of patience which it requires to
teach a fish, for auch a seal really ia.
11 looks easy to see one of my seals play
the banjo or a harp, but it took me
three months of hard work every day
to teach them to do this even in an im
perfect manner, and the only reason
that 1 can give is that tbey bave been
at It long euougb to learn.
1 bave never before known a seal to
live in captivity over one year, and yet
1 bave bad mine many times that. I
am often surprised at their intelligence.
Especially is this trne of Bobby, the
clown. I believe that that fish under
stands humor, because be does things at
times which actually make me laugh,
to say nothing about the audience, fie
is the beat seal 1 over had, the beat 1
ever will bave, and 1 think thut be has
an affection for me, and that he knows
almost everything that 1 say to him.
Yea, tiie care of seals is a great one.
1 keep tbom in a tank, and above the
water is a shelf for them to lie on when
tbey feel so inclined. This water is
changed tftree times a day, and SO
pounds of salt are put into the water at
each chunge, for a seal cannot live in
freah water, you know. They are as
plump and fut today as they were lying
on tbeir native rocks in the North
sea, and tbey know a great deal more
about the world than tbey otherwise
would have known. It may surprise
some people, but it is nevertheless a
fact, that these three souls eat S00 ponnds
' of flab a weuk. They will only out sea
fish, such as herring or flounder, and 1
attribute their long life totj,e fact that
1 a in very careful with their food. The
Dab are washed and cleaned aud the
heads cut off just as carefully and just
as cleanly us though going on a hotel
table. The teul does not chew a flab,
bnt swallows it whole, and it would
surprise yon to see bow a great mass of
fish will disappear when three seals get
at it. All the accomplishments of these
seals ate not shown. They bave been
tanght water tricks. I can throw a 10
cent piece Into a tank of water, and.
small as the piece Is and flat as it lies
on the bottom, at a word of command
any one of my seals will dive for it and
get it. This I do not show in public,
becanse the tank is an unwieldy thing
to keep about.
Have they ever bitten me? Yes, sev
eral times, and tbeseal's bite ia a nasty
one. The last time was when 1 placed
the tambourine In front of Bibby.
Without warning be grabbed me by tbe
arm, and 1 certainly thought be would
lake big piece out r f it before I conld
Hake him let go, and i waa obliged to
Itrike bim very severely before 1 could
get bim to let loose. My seals to me
are great pets, and 1 think as much of
them as I wonld of a child, for their
great, big, intelligent eyes look np into
mine with an expression which tells me
If they only knew bow they would cer
tainly talk to me. New York Tribune.
Remarkable Rtalactlte Caves In I'tah.
Two of the most wonderful stalactite
caves in the world are locnted within the
territory of Utah one five miles south
of Toquerville and the other 23 miles
west of Bt. George. Neither is remark
able on account of size, and to the best
of my knowledge the dignifying title of
"cavern" ha never been bestowed npon
either of the two. They simply come
within the category of the wonderful be
canse of the immense number of stalac
tites of various sizes and colors which
depend from their roofs. The first, the
one near Toquerville, is known as La
Virgin, and the other by the name of the
Black Warrior.
The Virgin was discovered a few yean
ago by the contractor of an irrigating
company, who was engaged in driving a
tunnel through a mountain called "La
Virgin Bench" for the purpose of tap
ping the river beyond. When the light
waa first let into this wonderful under
ground chamber, the effect is said to
have been startling, the roof and floor
glittering with cubes and points of crys
tal alum and the roof studded with mil
lions of rain colored stalactites.
The "Black Warrior" cave is a coun
terpart of the Virgin and was discovered
by miners at a point where their tunnel
was 863 feet beneath the surface. St.
Louis Republic
Ex-Presldenta Ia Polities.
Several of the presidents bave remained
in active politics after retirement from
the White House. Buchanan was elocted
president at 66 and retired at the age oi
70. Tyler waa a member of the provi
sional confederate congress at the age oi
71. John Adams, at S3 years of age, was
a delegate to the convention for revising
the constitution of Massachusetts. John
Quincy Adams was elected to congrest
by the anti-Mason party when he was 64,
and he remained in congress for a period
of 17 years. He died in the hall of the
honse. James Monroe retired from the
presidency at 67, waa a regent of the
University of Virginia with Madison and
Jefferson at 68, but declined to serve ai
an elector from Virginia at 70 on the
ground that an ex-president should net
be a partisan, but afterward acted as a
local magistrate and waa a member oi
the constitutional convention of Vir
ginia. Andrew Jackson waa 70 when h
left tbe White House. Washington Star.
Humorous Trifles.
The floating bits of humor to be picked
np on many a random page of literature
are enough to convince us that the world
is a blithesome sort of place after all.
Chief Justice Ruahe and Lord Nor
bury' were walking together in the old
times and came upon a gibbet.
"Where would you be," at-lced Nor-
bury, pointing to tbe gibbet, "if we all
bod our deserts?"
"Faith," was the reply, "I should be
traveling alouel"
O'Connell's cutting description of Lady
H is worth a dozen ordinary witti
cisms, "She had all the qualities of the
kitchen poker without its occasional
warmth,"
Then take the remark of Sydney Smith
in regard to a very attractive and dash
ing widow, "When Mrs. ti appear
in tho neighborhood, the whole horizo i
is darkened with majorsr Youth's
Companion
A Hero.
Of all the wretchedly underpaid
American consuls we think the case of
our representative at Santos, Brazil, is
tbe worst. This unfortunate individual
a Muine man receives the munificent
salary of $1,300 a year. His expenses
are fU.OOO a year. He has buried his
vice consul, has had yellow fever twice
himself, resigns periodically, but still
sticks pluckily to bis post, waiting for
bis successor to be appointed and, what
is more important, to accept the ap
pointment. This consul deserves well
of bis country. Bath Times.
Th Cum Omitted.
An English paper says that on every
Christum day since the Napoleonic in
vasion of Russia in 1813 a prayer bus
been recited in all the churches of the
vzur's umpire, calling down the curses
it lieaveu upon the French. Indeed
the anathema formed puitof tbot'hrist
uiusday liturgy i f the orthodox church.
But ou Iut Chrirtunia day, liusaiu and
Frmwe having become friendly, the rzur
orduiod the aiming prayer to be omitted.
A NOVEL RACING MATOH.
Tnhegganlng Dowa a It a a a Roeklaf
Horse to Decide a tVsi-er,
There is no knowing what an Eng
lishman will not do to decide a bet.
Men have jumped across dining tables,
mounted upon untraceable steeds yea,
and even kissed their own mothers-in-law
in order to settle a wager. In fine.
It ought to be an established maxim
among us by this time that, given a cer
tain number of impossibilities and an
equal number of young Englishmen,
those impossibilities will not long re
main such, provided they be made the
subjects of bets.
One of those incidents which go a
long way toward justifying the reputa
tion which as a nation of madmen we
have earned among foreigners occurred
at Bt. Morits when, "in order to settle
a bet," Lord William Manners and tbe
Hon. H. Gibson agreed to go dewn the
village "run" mounted on rocking
horses In place of ordinary toboggans.
A feature of the race was that both
competitors were "attired in full hunt
ing kit," and as elaborate preparations
bad been made for the context and ru
mor of the affair had been industriously
noised abroad tbe crowd which had as
sembled to witness it was both large
and distinguished.
The start was fixed for 13 o clock,
and shortly before that hour the shouts
of the spectators announced that the
horses were off. Unlike the custom in
toboggan races, both started at the same
time. In the first course Lord William
Manners led as far as a certain angle of
t he " ru n " cal led Casper's Corners, from
the fact that a hotel of that name ia
situated close by, but "taking it rather
high Mr. Gibson passed cleverly on the
innide, which he maintained to the fin
ish," Lord William being summarily
dismissed from bis fractious steed's
back some distance to the bad from the
winning post.
In the second course Lord William
Manners again had the advantage as far
as Casper's Corners, where Mr. Gibson
again tried to pass him on tbe inside,
bnt being jockeyed by his opponent his
horse swnng round and proceeded down
the run tail foremost, but loading. The
merriment of the spectators at this
stage of the proceedings may be more
easily imagined than described, nor did
it abate in the least when Mr. Gibson,
dismounting, seized it unceremoniously
by the nose and turned it Into the way
it should go.
Meanwhile Lord William Manners
had suffered disappointment a second
time, for in attempting to "take" to
use a true hunting term a paticularly
awkward part of the "run" called Bel
vedere Corner bis horse refused to re
spond to its rider's exeitions to get it
successfully over the olistacle, and horse
and jockey came down to the ground in
one tumultuous somersault together.
Lord William's discomfiture proved
to be Mr. Gibson's opportunity. The
time and ground that the former bad
lost by hia involuntary flight through
the air were never recovered. Mr. Gib
son, with the position of hia horse re
verend and his legs thrust scientifically
in front of him, rode easily nnd trium
phantly forward and eventually reached
the winning post some seconds in ad
vaaoe of his opponent. Alpine Post.
His "Love" Test.
The story Is related of a bishop who
came to one of our state prisons and
was told: "No need of you here, sir.
We have eight preachers safely locked
up who are brought out each Sabbath
to minister to their fellow prisoners."
If this appear a doubtful tale, it can be
varied with the following about a young
lady Sunday school teacher who has
class of rather bright boys averaging
between 7 and 9 years.
Recently she requested sch pupil to
come on the following Sunday with
some passage of Scripture bearing upon
love. Tbe lads hooded tho request and
in turn recited their verses bearing upon
tbat popular snbjoct, such as "Love
your enemies," "Little children, love
one another, " etc. The teacher said to
trie boy whose turn came last, ' Well,
Robbie, what ia your verse?" Raising
himself np he responded: Song of Sol
omon, second chapter, fifth verse, 'Stay
me with flagons, comfort me with ap
pies, for I am sick of love."' Ex
change.
Color and Warmth.
The color of materials has some In
fluence on the warmth of the clothing.
Black and blue absorb beat freely from
without, but white and light shades of
yellow, etc., are far less absorbent.
This difference can be demonstrated by
experiment. Tbe Biune mutoriul, when
dyed with different colors, will absorb
different amounts of beat. In hot conn
tries white coverings are universally
worn, and sailors and others wear white
clothing in hot weather.
With regard, however, to heat given
off from the body tbe color of the ma
terials nsed ai clothing makes little if
any difference. Red flannel is popu
lurly supposed to be warm, though it is
no better in this respect than similar
materials of equal substance, but white
cr gray in color. Daik clothiug ia beat
foi cold weather, because it more freely
absorbs any heat tbat is obtainable.
Fortnightly Review.
Wuiuea as Conductors.
Mr. Harry Furuias, in The St. James
Budget, comes out as uu advocate of
femmiuH bus conductors. He aeka, "la
it not time the rude male conductor was
abolished and girls employed instead?"
HOTELS FORTIIE POOR
HOW THE HOMELESS ARE CARED FOR
IN GLASGOW.
Bfualelpat tadgtng Houses Minus the Sting
af Charity No Chance For Politics In It.
The Starday Night Entertainments and
How They A re Conducted.
One Saturday in Glasgow I tramped
about the poorer portions of the town
tilt midnight, first in company with the
head of a municipal department and
afterward with an estimable bailie who
la renowned in the town for bis opposi
tion to all things alcoholic. My tour be
gan soon after dusk, which comes aston
ishingly early in these northern lati
tudes, giving one hardly time to salute
the sun between dawn aud dark. Onr
points of call in tbe earlier half of our ex
pedition were the municipal lodging
honses, those places of agreeable.refuge
which the city established 20 years ago
for the purpose of selling decent shelter
to the lower elements of its floating pop
ulation. On Saturday night in winter time
some form of entertainment is devised
for the 2,000 municipal lodgers. The
entertaining talent volunteers for the
performance. It is part of the duty of
the city committee having in charge
those hotels for the poor to secure on
Saturdays the assistance of amateurs
who can sing or dunce or tell a story or
give an athletic show. There are seven
municipal lodging houses, and iu the
recreation rooms of each these Saturday
night pleasantries are conducted. Every
concert, or magio lantern show, or what
ever it may be, is presided over by a
chairman, who volunteers for the pur
pose from the members of the city gov
ernment.
The gentlemen so presiding are not
municipal politicians, because, as I have
previously explained, they have in Glas
gow no municipal politics, but merely
an administration, Mr. Chairman, there
fore, Is not in quest of votes, and if he
were his services in a lodging house
would ill requite him. Nor is there any
appearance of charity, condescension,
nor any other untoward thing in this
business. The entertainment is carried
on very much aa a concert is aboard an
Atlantic liner with this exception, that
no collection is made. The municipality
is put to no expense in the matter, and
it may be assumed that the chairmen
are put to no inconvenience. They are
usually men who devote a large part of
their lives to philanthropic work.
A Saturday night's audience at one of
these municipal lodging houses comprises
a wide assortment of characters anr a
considerable distribution of race. There
are sailors who have got hard up in port,
soldiers recently discharged. There are
poor devils who are spending their last
pennies for shelter and food, which will
take them over to the Monday morning,
wlien they may be ablo to pick up some
where somehow pennies enough to last
them over another night. And there are
laborers in regular employment, arti
aana, too, who are not hard up, bnt who
are lodging here while they are at work
in the town. There are of course men
who have seen better days and men who
by no possibility can ever see any worse
ones. Some are here from necessity,
some from motives of economy, and all
of them are fairly comfortable while they
are here.
The Saturday night entertainments are
voluntary altogether. The entertainers
give their services, and the audiences are
not asked for a penny. There were from
200 to 830 mon in each of the recreation
rooms which we visited, and hearty ap
plause gave evidence of the delight of
the men, wbo appeared to enjoy them
selves thoroughly.
A municipal lodging bouse is a large,
well lighted nnd well ventilated build
ing. At the cntriiuce there is un office,
where tho applicant for lodging pays hia
8)d. or 41(1. and receives a ticket en'
tilling him to tho privileges of the house,
Uu the ground floor t hero are three large
apartments, oue used as a sort of eating
room, anotl-.er as a sitting room, another
as a kitchen. The lodgers supply their
own food and cook it themselves, having
the free use of the kitchen fires and the
steam heaters for this purjiose. The lionse
is in charge of a superintendent, with
several assistants.
At 8 o'clock in the evening the dormi
tories are opened. These dormitories are
spacious rooms divided by partitions 8
or 0 feet high into small compartments,
each compartment containing a bed ar
ranged in the fashion of a stateroom
berth on an Atlantic liner. The only
difference between tho threepence half
penny and the fonrpence halfpenny ac
commodation is that the higher price en
titles the lodger to an extra blanket.
Lodgers are admitted to bed until about
1 s. m, Tbey must arise not later than
8 o'clock in the morning. The premises
are kept scrupulously clean by the staff
of assistants. A well fitted laundry at
tuched to the place is constantly ut work
washing the bedding. Cor. Boston Her
ald.
Count trillion's Camera.
Count Primoli is a familiar figure in
Parisian society, spending a portion of
the season each year at the hospitable
house of his aunt, Priuceas fllathildo, in
whose salons he formed the acquaintance
and acquired the warm friendship of tho
popular novelist, Paul Bourget. Ho ia
noted as beings with the possible excel)
I tion of the Hue do Morny, the most suc
cessful amateur photographer in Europe,
I and bus spent enormous sums on various
erfected apparatus connected with this
i purticulur fad. New York Herald,
UNCLE SAM'S WARSHIPS.
rittlag One af Them For a C raise Coats a
mall Fortune.
Furniture and supplies for Uncle
Sam's new war vessels cost a mint of
money. To fit out one of these ships for
a cruise la a bigger job than equipping a
first class hotel. Here Is a floating for
tress as long as two city blocks, with all
modern conveniences and complete res
taurant facilities, lighted throughout by
electricity a glgantio fighting machine
and military barracks combined. Her
steel walls, bristling with guns, shelter
a small army of men. The New York,
for example, has a crew numbering 433,
besides 40 marines and 44 officers. To
feed them all for a twelvemonth at the
government's rate of allowance costs
160,000.
On going Into commission such a ship
must be furnished throughout, from the
kitchen, which Is as complete as that of
a great city hostelry, to the captain's
cabin. She carries large stocks of sta
tionery, hardware and apothecaries'
goods, and is provided with tools for all
sorts of trades. Everything conceivable
that may be needed for purposes of war
and peace is supplied, becanse on the
high seas no shops or factories are ac
cessible. Usually the vessel ia pro
visioned for only three months, because
there is no room to stow more. The ra
tions are purchased by the navy depart
ment and comprise such necessities as
bard bread, cornmeal, oatmeal, hominy,
flour, salt pork, beans, peas, rice, pre
served meats, butter, coffee and tea.
Every man in the navy, from tbe last
boy shipped up to the admiral, haa an
allowance of 80 cents a day for rations,
which he may draw either in food or in
money. The paymaster of the ship haa
charge of all the provisions, which are
dealt out by hia "yeoman," wbo is in
turn assisted by the jack-o'-dust. Tbe
person last named attenda to opening the
barrels and packages. Coffee and sugar
are served out once in 10 days, flour ev
ery four days and meats daily. While
in port fresh provisions are furnished,
each man receiving one pound of fresh
bread, 1J pounds of fresh meat and one
pound of fresh vegetables per diem.
These take tho place of the ordinary ra
tions, only tea and coffee being provided
in addition. The allowance is at all
times so liberal that the enlisted men
cannot possibly consume the whole of it,
so they take part of it in cash. Phila
delphia Times.
The Way They Do It.
A little man with a sad face, a tbln
suit of clothes, a skullcap nnd a weak
voice stood neur the east end of the
Mudison street bridge holding out a
bundle of shoestrings toward the pass
ersliy. A policeman came along one
of the large, two breasted kind.
"Got a license?" be nked.
The man with the shoestrings unbut
toned his coat with the left band and
showed the badge, which was attached
to his vest. Iu the meantime be looked
up at the policeman. His expression was
one of mingled awe, fear and apprehen
sion.
"Give me a pair," said tbe police
man, pulling out two strings from tbe
bundle.
" Yes, sir," said the peddlor.
"Better make it two," said the man
who represented the dignity and maj
eaty of the law.
"All right, sir," said the shoestring
man, bis voice weaker than ever.
Tho policeman relied up the four
strings, buried them in his pocket and
went on.
"Did he pay you?" asked a man who
was standing in a doorway.
"iliiu pay?" said the man with the
shoestrings. "Dat copper pay for his
shoestrings? 1 guess not. What makes
mo sore is that he don't belong on this
beat ut all. I never saw him before.
"Why didn't you make him pay
you?"
"What's the use? He would bave
tipped me off to some other cop, and I'd
got the run. If they want anything,
you've got to give it to them, that's all
there is about it. Chicago Record,
One of the lleas.
"The best compliment I ever bad,"
mid a well known, lawyer the other
day, "was paid by an old lady in an
adjacent town, where 1 once went to
take part in a Fourth of July celebra
tion. I was a yenng man and always
availed myself oi every cbauco I got to
spout. That day I was on the pro
gramme to read the Declaration of In
dependence, and I put all the power I
bad into the lines.
"When the exercises were over, an old
lady, who wa arrayed in her finest.
came up to nui and said, 'That is ono
of the best declarations of independence
I evor heurdj you must have spent a
powerful long time writin it." Phila
delphia Cull.
Savagery Id Hawaii.
Adolph Marcuse, a European travel
er, describes in a vivid way the sav
agery which yet prevails in some por
tions of the Hawaiian Islands. In a vis
it to the crater of Kilouea bo wus ac
companiod by aeveral natives. When
night caine, they threw into the crater
as ott'oriugs sacred berries and live
fowls, ut the sunie time singing a mo
notonous chant to Pele, the tire god
dess. A Contributors' Club.
"Have you a Contributors' club
hero?" asked the author.
"Wo buve," replied the weary ed
itor. "John, bit him a jclin with that
I hickory 1" Atluuta Constitution.
Notebooks Not Allowed.
"He waa the best surveyor and drafts
man in my employ," said a well known
civil engineer, referring to a man whom
he had just discharged. "I discovered a
short time ago that he was keeping a
private notebook, and after notifying
him that he must stop it and again learn
ing that he was continuing the practice
I waa obliged to discharge bim.
"A snrveyor, said he, "in doing a
piece of work makes minutes as he goes
along of the lines he runs, of the various
points marking the bounds of the lands
be is surveying and all auch data as is
not only necessary for the drawing of
his plans, bnt also Incidentally that
which may aid him In the case of any
other survey being made later on.
"This data, you see, really constitutes
a sort of capital or stock in trade, for if
the party owning the land ever wishes
another survey of it for any purpose he
will naturally apply to that same sur
veyor, who, having these old memoran
da, can do the work easier and more
cheaply than any other surveyor. Often
times, after many years have elapsed
and old landmarks have passed away,
those minutes become very valuable.
'Consequently a civil engineer always
wishes to keep these In his own hands,
and men in his employ are not allowed
to make copies of minutes of surveys
which they make while in his employ.
Otherwise an old employee, in leaving
and setting up in business for himself,
could carry away a large slice of his em
ployers business. New York Herald.
Ha Waa Satisfied.
The old boarder, after an experience of
20 years or more, at last got iuto a place
which seemed to him to be as near the
Ideal as he cared about. When he had
been there a week, he went oue night to
a religious service, and one of the work
ers approached him.
"Are you a Christian?" was the first
question.
"I hope so," he replied humbly,
"though I don't belong to the church."
"Ah, my friend, there ia where you are
wrong."
"Possibly I am."
"Don't you feel that you are a sinner?"
"Well, I'm not perfect, I suppose."
"Don't you want to go to heaven?"
The old boarder braced up.
"If you'd asked me that 10 days ago,"
he said, "I should have answered 'yes'
promptly, but now I'm in a boarding
house where they don't bave stewed
prunes, skimmilk, hash, paralytic coffee,
dried apple pies, soiled napkins, tough
meat, a piano on each floor, gossiping
boarders and alot more discomforts, and
I'm afraid to take any risk in leaving it,"
and the worker gave him up as hopeless,
Detroit Free Press.
Blunders of Painter.
Tinoret, an Italian painter, in a pic
ture of the "Children of Israel" gather
ing manna, haa taken the precaution to
arm them with the modern invention of
guns. Cigoli painted the aged Simeon at
the circumcision of the infant Saviour,
and aa aged men in these days wear
spectacles the artist has shown his sagac
ity by placing them on Simeon's nose.
In a picture by Verrio of "Christ Heal
ing the Sick" the lookers on are repre
sented as standing with periwigs on their
heads. To match, or rather exceed,
this ludicrous representation, Durer baa
painted "Tbe Expulsion of Adam and
Eve From the Garden of Eden" by an
angel in a dress fashionably trimmed
with flounces. The same painter, in his
scene of "Peter Denying Christ," repre
sents a Roman soldier very comfortably
smoking a pipe of tobacco. Exchange.
Why She Stopped.
Marie Professor, I did enjoy my Span
ish lessons so much, bnt I have to give
thorn up because eggs are so high.
Professor (in profound astonishment)
Because eggs are so bight
Marie Yes. Yon see I learned to ask
for eggs in Spanish beau ti fully, and
then, of course, we had. to have them
three times a day so I could ask for them.
New York Times.
la the Fashion.
Mrs. Jackson Parke What in the
world is keeping you up so late?
Mr, Jackson Parke I am writing an
article for the papers on "How I Killed
My First Hog." These literary chaps,
with their stories of how they wrote
their first books, are not going to have the
field all to themselves, not by a jugful.
Indianapolis Journal.
Caught a Prlsa.
Father I've jusl fonnd out that the
strange young man who comes to see
you has been borrowing money right
and left.
Daughter Isn't that lovely? He must
be a nobleman in disguise. New York
Weekly.
Not less than 1,500 people were tram
pled to deuth in the crowds which gath
ered at the fete given in celebration of
the marriage of Louis XVI of France,
June 21, 1770,
Loring says that during 88 years in one
western state, whoso name he does not
give, the number of mortgages executed
was 200,000 and their nominal value
$180,000,000.
In tho Aldrich collection in the Iowa
state rapitol building there is a butterfly
that $1 ,000 wouldn't touch. There is ouly
one other like it known in the world.
French way of complimenting the old
lady, "Ah, maditmo, you grow every duy
to look more like your daughter."