VOLUME 2.
REYX0LDSV1LLE, I'ENN'A., WEDNESDAY M)YKMIlKIt 1, 1893.
NUMDEIi 25.
The Unparalleled
SUCCESS!
o-
-Of our sales for
s and
Men
Is due wholly to the
fact that we give
you one hundred
cents' worth of val
ue. Why does
everyone say that
Bells are always do
ing something ? Be
cause we have the
Goods and give you
Good, New, Fresh
Goods always. No
old, second hand
stuff on our counters
We have a few more
MEN'S
we are selling for the sum of
$7, 7.50 and $8.50,
actual values 10, $12, and $14, so if you care to secure one
of these Gems and at the same time save $3 to $5 in cash
you will have to come at once.
SCHOOL
11.
Reduced from $2.50 and $3.00.
School will soon commence again and many a boy will
be in need of new clothes. We will offer 1,000 Boys' Good,
Durable and Stylish Cassimere, Cheviot and Jersey Suits,
sizes 4 to 14, in all different new styles (see above cut) at
the unequalled low price of Two Dollars.
BELL BROS.,
Clothiers - Tailors - and - Hatters,
REYNOLDSVILLE, PA.
Summer of-
Boy's Suits
SUITS
SUITS,
I
$2.
CHRI8T AND THE 80UL.
When thon tnrn'st away from 111.
Christ Is tills shlo of thy hill.
When thon tnrnrtt toward K"od,
Christ Is walking In thjr wood.
When thy heart fays, "Father, pardonf
Then the Lord la In thy g-nrden.
When atom duty wakes to watch.
Then his hand la on the latch.
But when Hope, thy sons doth rouse,
Then the Lord Is In the house.
When to lore Is all thy wit,
Christ doth at thy table sit.
When God's will Is thy heart's pole.
Then la Christ thy very soul.
George Macdonalil In London Spectator,
TWICE EMBARRASSED
THE ONLY TIMES IN A CHEEKY MAN'S
CAREER WHEN NERVE VANISHED.
His first TJnfnrtnnate Experience Was In
Pnblle and Ills Second In rrlrnte, lint
In the Latter Kltnnllon Wes Cnnfuolon
Worse Confounded.
I have never been really and genuinely
embarrassed but twice in my life. I
have been close to it many a time, but
my training ns a traveling man and a
naturally cheeky disposition has always
laved me, excepting these two times.
The first time happened many years
ago. I had more hair on the top of my
head then, more self confidence nnd far
less experience. It happened during
come school commencement exercises in
the town hall of the little place where I
lived. I had to deliver an oration that
night. It was "Spnrtncus." Every boy
knows it nnd has been thrilled by it.
The wholo town popnlation and tho
country for miles around were there. So
was my sweetheart and all her folks.
The town hall had a regulation staso,
and in the center of that stage and near
the front was a trapdoor. I never knew
this trapdoor to be used, but it was
there, and nnderneath was a dark space
used for storing old broken chairs, di
lapidated scenery and wrecked furniture
of every description.
On this night in question somelnwly
had weakened the underpinning of this
door. I never knew who did it, and if 1
found out at this late day even I would
kill him. I came out in all the glory of
Sunday clothes a starched shirt nnd
tight shoes nnd began telling without a
tremor how Lentnlus, returning with
victorious eagles, had amused the popu
lation of old Capua and how the little
band of gladiators gathered that night
in the forsaken arena. At this point I
began the speech of Spartacus.
With right arm upraised I shouted,
"Ye call me chief!" and stepped square
on that fatal trapdoor. Down I went
like a piece of lead on the end of a plumb
line, and tho audience rose. I thrashed
around in the dirt and debris, half
stunned, for a few moments, but could
find no way out. They finally fished me
out np through that hole again. I was
covered with dirt and cobwebs, my
clothes were torn, nnd my reappearance
was the signal for wild applause. I can
state honestly and feelingly that I was
embarrassed. No boy has ever spoken
"Spartacus" in that town since. The rec
ollection of my effort has always been
too much.
Bad as this was, my second experience
was worse. It happened a short time
ago. The memory of it is so recent that
my blood hasn't recovered yet from the
chill I went through, I have a very inti
mate friend who has a young lady ac
quaintance in a certain city. We can
call her Miss Green. But that is not her
name. My friend is a fine young man,
but as careless and thoughtless as a but
terfly. I had to visit this city of which
I speak, and my friend insisted on my
calling on Miss Green and taking a let
ter of introduction. I didn't much like
the idea of being introduced in that
way and said so. But my friend was
so anxious that I weakly gave in and
departed, bearing a letter to Miss Green.
And, as I found out afterward, neither
inside nor outside of this letter did my
friend nse her first name.
The evening after my arrival I put on
my best and costliest raiment, rehearsed
a number of my best sayings and started
out. Miss Green lived in the very best
part of town. Her residence evidently
belonged to people more than well to do.
To the servant who opened the door 1
gave the letter, asking if Miss Green was
at home. She was. I was ushered into
a parlor, and the inside of the house
showed more than the outside that I whs
in the home of people of wealth and re
finement. I began to feel that awe that
strangers amid strange surroundings al
ways feel, when a door opened and the
prettiest girl I ever saw came into the
room. I arose and bowed. She stood a
moment irresolutely, and a faint blnsh
came over her face. She had my letter
in her hand also, I remember. Soon she
spoke. I will never forget her voice. It
was clear as a silver bell.
"Mr. Bee," she said, "I have no doubt
but that it would be pleasant to have
you among my acquaintances, but really
I do not know your friend who has writ
ten his letter. He is a stranger to me."
Talk about being knocked down with
a feather. A piece of down from a hum
ming bird's wing would have floored me.
Hot and cold streaks ran over me like a
flash, while the perspiration in drops like
marbles came out on my forehead. I
was embarrassed and wild with rage at
the trick thut had been played. I thought
in an Instant that here is this pretty, re
fined and modest girl, who thinks that
I have seen her somewhere and adopted
such a subterfuge to become acquainted
with her. I don't know how I ever es
caped from that house, but I did, nnd if
I had been in reach of the writer of that
letter that night there would have been
an immedinte row.
The next day the blackest negro out of
Africa brought me a little note. The
note said a terriblo mistake had been
made. My letter had been intended for
a sister who knew my friend very well.
The sister had been out when I called,
and as there was nothing in the letter to
distinguish which Miss Green was meant
the recipient took it to herself, and be
ing somewhat embarrassed and confused
hadn't thought of its not being for her,
and then, too, Mr. Bee left so suddenly
that she had hardly time to collect what
little thought she had, and wouldn't I
please call that evening?
I did call. But on the evening when I
first saw Miss Green and heard her speak
I was distinctly and emphatically em
barrassed as I never had been before.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Announcements of Mnrrlnges Thai Have
Been Unceremoniously Interrupted.
A few years ago n lndicrous, alltelt
vexations, incident occurred at a church
in Larkhall. A rustic couple, after hav
ing had the banns published the pre
scribed number of times, proceeded to
tho church to be joined in holy wedlock.
The service was conducted without a
hitch until the officiating clergyman ar
rived at that part where he asked, "Wil
liam Wisher, wilt thon have this woman
to be thy wedded wife?" when tho bride
groom replied with some astonishment
that his name was not William Wisher
The ceremony was of course suspend
ed, and on investigation being mwlo as
to tho cause of the mistake it transpired
that the bridegroom had written to the
sexton of the church requesting him to
have the banns published, and concluded
his letter thus, "So no more from your
well wisher and Mary Williams." The
sexton, supposing that William Wisher
was the name of the intending Benedict,
published the banns accordingly, and
the disappointed couple were compelled
to await the publication of the banns in
their proper names.
The precentor of a country parish
church near Arbroath one Sunday an
nounced from his place that "there was
a solemn purpose of marriage between
Alexander Spink of Fisher's loan and
Elspeth Hackett of Burn wynd," when
the parish beadle, who was something
of a character, suddenly arose and un
ceremoniously interrupted the proceed
ings by exclaiming: "That's wrang!
That's wrang! It's no Sanders Spink o
Fisher's loan that's gann to marry Els
peth Hackett, but Lang Sanders Spink
o' Smiddy croft." The name of one of
the parties had been wrongly stated in
the proclamation paper, and this wos
the way the leadle took to correct it.
Some years ago a middle aged agricul
tural laborer called upon the session
clerk of Alloa and asked him what tho
charge was for publishing the "cries" i.
e., banns of marriage three times on
the same Sunday. "A pound," replied
the clerk. "Aye," said the other, "an
what d'ye tak' when ye tak' two Bnn
days to do't?" "Half a guinea," was tho
reply. "An what d'ye chairge when yo
tak' three Sundays to't?" was tho rus
tic's next query. "Seven and six," an
swered the clerk, with an aranscd nir.
"Aye, man," rejoined the querist, "I
aee; the langer ye tak to dae't the cheap
er it gets. Just cry awa' till ye pay yer
sel'I" And he took hisdeparture without more
ado. London Tit-Bits.
Milord, Miss and the Dog;,
A traveler's tale of British phlegm i.
told in the following terms: A French
man was seated in a smoking carriage
and had for his companion a "milord
Anglais." Enter a British miss of
course with a plaid and protruding teeth
and a Skye terrier. She sat opposite the
milord. He politely informed her that
she had by mistake got into a smoking
carriage. She made not the slightest an
swer, but sat grimly on.
The milord threw away his cigar, much
to the astonishment of tho Frenchman,
who, according to the story, sat watch
ing what wonld happen. When they
reached the next station, the milord said,
with the cold dignity of his race and
cast: "Madam can now change into a
nonsmoking carriage. If she does not, I
shall assume that she does not mind
smoke and shall light another cigar."
Madam said not a word, but stared in
front of her. The train went on again,
and the milord lighted up. When his
cigar was well alight and the train in
motion, the lady bent forward, took the
cigar out of the milord's mouth and
threw it out of the window. The milord
not only did not make any remark, but
be did not even seem disturbed. All he
did was to wait a minute, and then to
bend over the lady, seize the Skye ter
rier, which was lying in her lap, and
fling it out of the window.
Of this act the lady, to the complete
astonishment of the French spectator,
took no notice whatever. At the next
station both the lady and the milord got
out, but without exchanging a word in
regard to the cigar and dog incident,
while the Frenchman turned over in his
head an etude fin the subject of "Leg
Anglais taciturnes." London Spectator.
Good Horse Sense.
Guinmey Skidmore has good horse
sense.
Gargoyle I suppose you mean he
knows how to pick the winners at tho
races?
Gummey No, I mean be never beta.
Detroit Free Press.
CAPITAL AUTOCRATS.
OFFICIALS IN WASHINGTON WHOSE
ONLY LAW IS THEIR WILL.
A Striking rtamute ts the tint Comp
troller of the Currency, Whose Decisions
Cannot Even lie Vetoed by the President,
' Who Has the Power of Removal.
Among the most remarkable features
of this government by the people is the
extraordinary authority vested in certain
subordinate officials at Washington.
For instance, no man in the United
States wields such power In money mat
ters as the first comptroller of the cur
rency. He is entirely independent of
the secretary of the treasury, and even
the president has no means of coercing
him, as the following story shows:
When Grant was in the White House,
First Comptroller Taylor refused to
countersign a warrant for the payment
of a big claim out of the funds of the
treasury. The president summoned him
and said:
"You mnst sign."
"I will not, Mr. President," replied
the recalcitrant official.
' "Then I will compel yon to do so," said
General Grant.
"You have not the power," rejoined
the comptroller coolly and respectfully,
"We will see about that," said the
president. "I will consult the attorney
general,"
The attorney general, on being con
sulted, stated that the comptroller was
right he could not be forced to coun
tersign the warrant. Next day the pres
ident summoned Mr. Taylor and said:
"I find that I cannot compel yon to
countersign the warrant. However, I
can get another first comptroller."
"Very well, Mr. President," replied
the officer. "You can have my resigna
tion, but not my signature."
In fact, the only way in which the
president can override a decision of this
powerful official is by dismissing him
and appointing another man. All of the
accounts of the government, except those
which relate to customs and the post
office department, are settled by war
rants countersigned by the first comp
troller. Without his signature the pay
ments cannot be made.
There are two autocrats in the post
office department. One of them is the
assistant attorney general. It is his
function to decide whether matter of
fered for i nailing is immoral or not. Ho
acts as censor for tho people. Whenever
a postmaster in any city is doubtful re
garding the morality of a publication
that is sought to be mailed, he forwards
a copy of the suspected work to the third
assistant postmaster general, by whom
it is referred to the assistant attorney
general.
Very likely tho latter may be too busy
to investigate the subject personally, in
which case ho turnB it over to one of his
clerks, who peruses it nnd marks any
passage which he considers indecent.
Thus the law lord has simply to glance
over the selected tidbits of impropriety
and pass on them. The assistant attor
ney general also determines what mail
matter shall be considered fraudulent
and be excluded as such from the post.
The third assistant postmaster general
is himself an autocrat. He has authority
to exercise his own discretion in depriv
ing periodical publications of the ad
vantage of second class postal rates.
Publications Intended for advertising
purposes primarily are not allowed
those rates. On account of the "Kroutzer
Sonata" a wholo series of books, of which
it was one, was shut out of the mails.
Publishers commonly get out vol
umes in series, because in this shape
they go second class as periodical publi
cations so long as they aro issued at
least four times a year. The decision
against that work did not actually ex
clude it from the post, because it could
be and was sent at first class rates,
sealed, so that nobody could lawfully
open the package and find out what was
inside.
The autocrat of the department of
agriculture is tho chief of the bureau of
animal industry. Ho has authority to
kill any animal he may choose any where
in the United States. When one of his
inspectors reports that such and such
cattle are afflicted with an infectious
disease, he orders them purchased and
slaughtered. The value of the beasts is
judged by two appraisers, one chosen
by the owner and the other by the bu
reau. If they cannot agree, they ap
point a third person to decide, , In case
a man refused to have his live stock
thus disposed of, the police and United
States marshals would be summoned.
; The payment adjudicated is made by
heck. The chief of the bureau's author
ity in such matters is absolute over the
territories and District of Columbia.
For operations in any state he must have
the consent of the governor, but the gov
ernor's consent cannot be withheld be
cause he is In a position to coerce the
state. If he chooses, he can quarantine
the state, preventing all animals from
going into or coming out for an indefi
nite period. St, Louis Globe-Democrat.
Spent Only One,
Little Dot Mamma gave me two
quarters to buy candy, but I only spent
one of them.
Father That's something like. Now ,
ril give yon another quarter to put
with the other.
Little Dot Thank you, but I can't
put it with the other till I find it. It
dropped out of my pocket on the way to
the candy store. Good News,
A Wonderful Timekeeping Automaton.
One of the most wonderful timekeep
ers known to the horologlst was made
in London about 100 years ago and sent
by the president of the East India com
pany as a gift to the emperor of China.
The case was made in the form of a
chariot, In which was seated the figure
of a woman. This fignre was of pnre
Ivory and gold and sat with her right
hand resting upon a tiny clock fastened
to the side of the vehicle. A part of the
wheels which kept track of the flight of
time were hidden in the body of a tiny
bird, which had seemingly just alighted
upon the lady's finger.
Above was a canopy so arranged as to
conceal a silver bell. This bell was fit
ted with a miniature hammer of the
same metal, and although it appeared to
have no connection with the clock regu
larly struck the hours and could be
made to repeat by touching a diamond
button on the lady's bodice. In the char
iot at the ivory lady's feet there was a
golden figure of a dog, and above and in
front were two birds apparently flying
before the chariot This beautiful orna
ment was made almost entirely of gold
and was elaborately decorated with pre
cious stones. St Louis Republic,
High Explosives.
There are certain explosives of high
power which, when heated, burn quietly
if freely exposed, or if confined explode
only at the spot where heat is applied
without the whole mass taking part in
the explosion. Nitroglycerol, dynamite,
gun cotton, picric acid and the new
German military powder are examples.
This Is said to be because they are bad
conductors of their own explosive wave.
If, however, the same substances are
subjected to a violent shock by the ex
plosion In their midst of initial charges
of mercury fulminate, the shock seems
to affect all the molecules of the explo
sive at once, and the whole mass of the
latter explodes with enormous violence.
New York Sun.
The Pearl Oyster.
Very few people are aware that the
pearl oyster is not in any way like the
oysters which we eat. It is of an entire
ly different species, and as a matter of
fact the shells of the so called pearl oys
ters are of far more value to those en
gaged in pearl fishing than the pearls.
There are extensive pearl fisheries in the
gulf of California, and some of the finest
pearls have been taken from those wa
ters. In 1881 one pearl a black one
was sold for $10,000, and every year
since that time many pearls have been
taken from the beds in the California
gulf valued at over $7,600 each. Chica
go Herald.
( Wire ne a Btrengthener.
The method of strengthening copper
steam pipes by means of coiled metul
wire has been quite generally adopted
in the Italian navy. The practice is to
serve the tubes with one or two layers
of wire wound under tension. The
method is not considered applicable to
other thar- straight tubes. The wire Is
of sufflcMht strength to carry the full
load of tJtoam, and the tension used in
winding is about li tons per square inch.
The wire Is put on In two or three Inde
pendent spirals, and the ends of each
are independently fastened to the flanges.
Seety Valve.
She Loved Hint.
Single Man (to himself) I am sure
that darling little angel loves me. She
takes me into her confidence and tells
me all her troubles.
Same Man (some years later) Con
sarn It all! From morning till night,
and night till morning, when I'm homo,
I hear nothing bnt tales about the serv
ants, the butcher, the butler, the baker,
the candlestick maker and all the rest
of 'em. New York Weekly.
Mot to Be Considered.
Mrs. Chugwater (after an unusually
spirited engagement) Joslah, if we can't
get along in peace, we'd better separate.
Mr, Chugwater (shaking his head'
mournfully) It wouldn't holp matters
any, Samantha. I can tell yon right
now you'd never get another man that
would endure your cooking as meekly as
I do. Chicago Tribune.
Switzerland's numerous waterfalls
have proved a means for the generation
and supply of an abundant amount of
power for a comparatively small expen
diture of capital. At the end of last year
' there were in that country 053 electric
light Installations and 63 plants for the
electrical transmission of power.
Roots of all trees draw large quanti
ties of moisture from the soil, which is
discharged Into the air through tho
leaves. It is estimated that an oak tree
wlth 700,000 leaves wonld give off some
thing like 700 tons of water during the
five months it carries Its foliage,
In British India the number of persons
adhering to the sects of the ancient
Brahmanio religious belief is estimated
at 211,000,000. There are 7,000,000 Budd
hists, 00,000 Parsees, 67,000,000 Molmm
medans and 0,000,000 of the ancient pa
gans or nature worshipers.
There was recently given in Denmark
a concert that may be regarded as abso
lutely unique as regards the instruments
used. The instruments included two
horns from the bronze age, which are
believed to be at least 8,600 years old.
The drinking of salt water is tuld to
be a perfeot cure for seasickness, though
it makes the patient very miserable for o
few minutes after be takes the cure.