VtlLlUIH 2.
WYXOMWYILLK, I'MXN'A., WEDNESDAY J UN K U, 1H93.
NUMItMK .
I
?4
lUrTAI.o, KOCTlKsTKU & PITTS-
HflfCIt UMIAVAY.
Th,..l,,,,i Hi. i' 1,,-iweeti ImlloR Klilirwiiy.
Pniilford, Siilniiiiincii, lliillulo. Km-hi HT,
Ninirura Fails mill I'oImin In I In- upper oil
rt'ir Ion.
on mill after .1 tim- 4ili. I".':i. lnijwij--cr
train will arrive mill dipmt from l-nll
( reck station, iliilly, cxrept Knndiiy, fol
low: 1:00 A. M.-llnidford Arromniodiitlon-1 or
point North between Full (nek and
liindfiml. 7:1.1 ii. ni. ml veil I ruin fur
l'iiiixutiiwncy. .,
10O.S .M. llurrulonnd HoeheMcr mnll-l or
Hroekwav villi-, 1 llir i v..l 1ii" ti l'nn. M t .
Jctri-tt, lirnilfoiil.Hilnniiiiieti, IIiiIIiiIii Mini
Knrhestcr; roiincrtltm HI .loliiiKonliuru
with l. F.. train H. fur Wileox, Kane,
Warren, Con y ami Frio.
10-.SH A. M. Aivommoiliitlon-lor lltiltol,
Sykcs, Hln Hun mill I'linxMitiiwncy.
1:80 I. M- Hnulfoid Accommodation-r or
Hem-lit tee, llrockwiiyvlllc, Kllniont, 'sr
mnn, Klditway, .Iiiliiisoiiliurit, Mt.Jewctt
rind Bradford. ...... ..,
5:10 I'. M . Mull lor Pnllol, fyke, llltf
Hun, l'iinxiiinwney nnil N iiMmi.
8ia .M. Accommodation For HuIIoKWk
Hun nnd I'unxsuliiwney.
Oiao A. M. -Holiday trnlti-For Hrockwiiy
vlllc, Hldirway mid ,lohnmliirir.
6tl3 l.M. Hiindiiy train For OiilluK fykc,
II III Knn ii lid I'uiixsiitnwney.
ThotiMind mile tlrkrlH at. two rent per
mile, irnort fur pniiirc between till station.
J. II. .Mi'Ixtykk. Airont. Kullf creek, Tn.
J. II. llAlllltTT K. '. LAI'RV,
General Supl. lion. I'll. Airent
Hrndford I'n. KocheMtcr IS. 1 .
ALI.KGHKNY VALLKY HAILWAY
I'OMl'ANY (onnm-neing Sunday
Doc. IS. 1H!2. Low (irttdo Division.
STATIONS. No. I.INO..V No. 0.1
A. M II. M. A. M.
Rod Hunk Ill 4M 4 if '
hiiWHtinlimn Hi .1" 4 4:1 I
Now Hi tlilohcm II .I'll a IT (I n
Onk lililmi II !IN ti A". ft ill
MiivnvIIIc II 4'i ft :n S :i"
Hiirhmervllle... 12 m AM ft Wi
HnmkvUlu 13 -i II 1:1 II I"
II,. II 12 III II in II Hi
Fuller 12 41 :il 2
Kcynoldsvlllu.. 1 li mi 47
I'llIlCOIIxt I iw II Its II V.
Full Crook 1 7l: "CI
HiiHiiIh 1 in 7 :l 7 i
Hlhlllll 147 J 4i J 2-1
Wlniciluirii .... I i H im 7 :r
I'enltold 2 il H mil 7 41
Tyler 2 1" H Hi' 7 ftl
filcn I-'lwlicr 2 V 2i K "I
Hi'ni'-ttu 2 4Ii H 44' h IM
(irnni 2 ftli Km h :m
Hriliwixxl :i 2u II 2.V mm
r m. : m.Ia. m.
in m
II Ik'i
WKKTWAIIII.
Prlftwood
(iriint
Hi'iicz'lio
tilcn rifhcr
Tyli-r
IVnlleld
AVInli'i'lillrn ....
Siililllu
IIiiHiiIk
KnllxCivck
I'tini'riiiNl
HcyiuililnvllUi
I'lllllT
Hill
Hrookvllli'....
HiininiiMilhi..
MhvhvIIIo
OiikUhlu.'
New llcllili'lii'lii
l.tiWHunliiini..
Hi'il Hunk
Train dully except Hiindny.
DAVID Mct'AKUO, liKN'l.. Si-it.,
I'IMhIiiiik, I'n.
JAS. P. ANPEKNON, Obs'i.. Paw. Aut.,
I'liiHliinir, Pit
PENNSYLVANIA UAILROAD.
IN KFKKCT MAY 21, lWk'J.
Plilliidi'lplilii A- Erie Knllrimd DIvIhIoii Time
TmiiIu. TmliiH leuve lirirtwiNMi.
KASTVVAHII
11:04 A M-Trnln . dully except Sundiiy fur
Hiiiiliui v. iiiirriNimru him iiuerniixiniie mil
tluus. iirrlvlnii m Plilludi-lplilii ll.-.Mi p. M.
New York, tl P. M : Hull Inlin e. H:4ft P. M.
WmhIiIiiiiuii. h: Ift p. u. I'lillniHii I'm lur cur
from V 1 1 lln iiimm il mill piiwienxer coiicIich
fivim Kline to I'lillllllelllhlu.
H:;l P. M. Tniln II, iIhII.v except Hiindny for
lIurrlNhurir hiki intei-niediitie hiiiiiihih, hi.
rlvlnir ill IMillli(ll'lllhlll4:;ill A. M.I New Yol k
7:10 a. M. TliroiiKli couch front PiiHoIh to
VllllnniMrt. I'tilliiiiin Meepluir cum riom
lliiiiisliuru to PlilliidelplilH mid New York.
. Plilliiik'lplila tiUHHetmetx ciin r(iniilii 111
Hleeier uiilllNtiii lied nut 11 i :IK A. M.
U : ;l" I'. M. Tniln 4. ilullv for Xiinliiirv. HnrrlH
luinr htmI iitterniedlHte hIhiIuiim, tirrlvliiir tit
I'lillililelnlilH, H:MI A. M.t New York, tl:;
A. M.; lliiltlmoru. 11:20 A. M.t ui-lilnirlon, 7.:(
A.M. I'lilltiiitn cum mid pHsHcnirer cuiiclien
from Ki le mid Wlllliiiiisimrl to I'lilliidelplillt.
l'uHsetmem In Kteeiier lor ifiiiiitnore iiihi
WiiHlilncton w ill he triniKrerred Into Viuili
IllKton lecer Hi lliirrlhliiuit.
WKSTWAKII.
7:: A. M. Triiln 1, dully except Htindiiy for
UlfliFwuv. IIiiIIoIh. Clermont mid Inter-
ineiUiiie HtittluiiH. Leaves ltlili;wiiy lit :(:'
. p. M. Tor r;ri(.
9:ft0 A. M. Train a, dully for Erie mid Inter-
niodliile nullilM.
(1:27 P. M. Train tl, dully except. Pundiiy for
Kline it nd Intermediate Hint Ions.
THUol'i;il TUAINS Ft i DKIKTWOon
FKOM THE EAST AND Hlll'TII.
TRAIN 11 leuvra Phllmlf Iphla :! A. m.;
Wiiililtmton, .M A. M.t Hiiitlnioru,H:4.'iA.M.;
Wllkeiilinire, ll):lft A. M.; dally except Hun
iliiv. iirrlvliiu' Kl Drill wood at 11:27 p. M. Willi
l'liilniiiii Parlor cur from I'lilludulplilu to
WlllluniHpoi-t.
TRAIN leuviiM New York lit. p. m.i P
ueiuntu, ii:au jj. ni.j iyuhiuiikujii, iu.4U u. '
lliiltlmoru. ll:4U p. nt.i dally urrlvl.,.,
Driftwood at. B:ftn u. m. Pullnmu nl,"?,..,;
cum from Plilliideliililu to Erie lln( mlu
WaNliliiKton and Hultliiioro to V)IIIIINH)l.t
lind throilKli piuiKeniier couclieH f,.,,m l,lt-.
delplila to Erie and Hultlmuru to WUllunin
IKii t and to DuIIoIk.
TUAIN 1 leaven Ueuovo at t:x, n, n)i (iujv
except Huncluy, urrlvhiK at lirlftwiKKl ;;;
a. m.
JOHNSONBUTvG RAILROAD.
(Dully excoiit'Sundui'.l
TRAIN IV loaves UUIrway in 11:40 a. m.t Jolin
HonliinKiii V:U u. lit., arrivlinj at t'lurimint
iit iii:4i a. ni.
xiiAiiN -a iuhvi t nirniont at lOtftft u. m. ar
riving tit JoliiiKoiiliui'K ut 11:40 u. in. lind
n lUKwuy m iiux a. ni.
JJI1XJWAY & CLEARFIELD R. R.
DAILY EYCKPT SUNDAY.
SOUTHWARD. NORTHWARD
P.M A.M. BTATIONH. A.M. P.M.
12 10 II 40 RlilKway 1 :) 7 00
12 IN II 4H Inland linn 120 II M
12 22 II W Mill Unveil 1111 II 411
J ' ill 10 02 (Jroyland Km (I if.
12 UN 1010 HIiortHMIIU 12.111 (I !I0
Ift 42 10 1ft lllue Hock . y 54 1A
12 44 111 17 Vineyard Uuu 12 ft2
12 4il 20 20 t'arrlur 12 iW 1121
lWI 10112 nroekwayvlllo 12an IUHI
1 10 1042 McMluil Hunuult 12110 SS7
114 104K llarvvyti ltllu 12 211 ft W
120 lo&ft FullH (lmok 12 20 5 4ft
143 110ft DtlUols 12 05 6 JO
TRAINS LEAVE UIDGWAY.
Eitatward. WoHtward.
TmlnM, 7:17a. ni. . . Train 8, 11:114 a.
Train , 1:4ft p.m. Truln I, 8:(J p
Train 4, 7 :S6 p.m. Traill 11, 8:2ft p
B M. PUEVObT,
Udu. ilauager.
- J. R. WOOD.
Gnu. Puwi. Ag'ti
Nn.2 Xn.ll No.KII l(l 110
A. M. A. M. P. M. P. M. P. M
1ft 4.'i ft (i :i'
11 17 ft :m 7 ni!
II ft 41 " Ml;
1 1 4" ft .Vi 7 :n
11 iVi II i' 7 44
r: m ml " m
12 ml ii i'. n im
12 22 :i7 12
I H'ii 7 In 2."i 12 ." ft 4ft
1 2n ; k ('. 12 i.'i ft ;m
l :m 7 2i N 411
1 421 7 411 4
1 ftM' 7 .17 ii in
2 ml h (ci ii 17
2 20 N III 2."i
2 :t; h :ih ii 44i
2 ft, h r.7 inw;
;t mi, ii n" m mi
II Ift II 15 III t.'i
H 47i II 47 I
4 !' 1(1 li
A. M A. M. P. M.Ia M.I P. M.
COLUMBIA'S EMBLEM.
Blnron Columbia's emlilem,
Tho bountrnuK, KuMcn corn!
Eons ago of tho im-iitsunV trlmr
And lite Joy of lite enrllt 'twas lmrn.
From Stiieiinr's shore tn Chill,
From thoncenn of dawn lo the west.
With Its linimers of irrecn lunltassckd sheen.
It sprnnn nt the sun's behest.
And by dew and shower from Its natal honr
With honey and w inc 'twas fed
Till the nils went fain to sliuru with men
Tho perfect feast outspread,
For tho rarest hoon to the Inml they loved
Wnn tho onrn so rich and fair.
Nor star nor brccr.0 o'er I ho farthest seas
Could And its llko elsewhere.
In their holiest temples tho Ineas
Offered tho heaven sent maize
Grains wrought of gold In a silver fold
For tho sun's enraptured Rare.
And It h arrest came to tho wandering tribe
As the trods' own (rift and seal.
And Montesuma't festal bread
Vs mado of lis sacred meal.
Narrow their cherished fields, but outi
Are broad ae the continent' breast,
And lavish as leaves and flowers the shrave
Hrlng plenty and Joy and rest.
For they it row tho plains and crowd the
wains
When the reapers meet at morn.
Till blithe cheers ring and west winds sins;
A song for the garnered corn.
The rose may bloom for England,
The lily for France unfold,
Ireland may honor tho shamrock,
Scotland her thlstlo bold.
But the shield of the great republic.
The glory of the west.
Shall bear a stalk of tho tassolcd corn.
Of all oar wealth tno best.
The arbutus and tho goldenrod
The heart of the north may cheer.
And tho mountain laurel for Mnryland
Its royal clusters rear.
And Jnsmine and inngnclla
The crest of tho south adorn,
Put tho wide republic's emblem
Is tho bounteous golden corn!
Edna Dean pepnipr jp Century.
HOURS AND HIS FLAG.
AN EPISODE OF WAR DAYS IN THE
HARBOR OF HONG-KONG.
An Impatient Yankee Kklpper Who Had
Confidence In Ills Ship nnd Who Dared
the Alabama Flying Two Flags In Neu
tral Waters How the Escape Was Made.
"During the greater part of the war,"
Mid tho retired skipper, "there were a
large number of American clippers stall
ed in Hong-Kong harbor, having order
to remain there from their owners, who
feared the Alabama. This arrangement
did not nt nil please the captains ahd
omcei s, as many of ns were anxious to
go home nnd ship in the navy, but orders
were orders. W e could not leave the
ships, and the frequent visits of the Alu
bama herself to tho hurlior, forcing her
self 'into our midst.' us the saying goes,
weTe very vivid reminders that nontral
waters were a pretty good sort of an in
vention. "Although we passed the long weeks
and months as pleasantly as we could,
with all kinds of arrangements for kill
ing time, both on shipboard and on
shore, there was of conrso a continual
and concerted growl going up from our
little) band of Yankee skippers, and old
Hobbs was the star growler of ns all.
"His ship was the Humming Bird, a
brand new clipper hailing from Boston.
The trip out to Hong-Kong had been her
maiden one, and it was chafing to Hobbs'
not very smooth temper to have hor lie
idle so early in her career. Having great
faith in the ship's speed and in his own
seamanship, he was more than anxions
to put to sea and lot Semmos catch him
if he could; but, like the rest of us, his
orders to remain were positive.
"Occasionally a ship would manage to
clear by sailing under some foreign flag,
but ns it was a complicated process in
volving fathoms of red tape and very of
ten foil through just when everything
seemed favorable it was not resorted to
very ofton. When it was tried, however,
old Hobbs would go on his beam ends
with wrath. He wonld fume and rant,
casting aspersions on, tho patriotism of
the owners, the agents', the officials, and
even the Chinese crew. He was so in
tensely patriotio that to see a good Yan
kee craft sail under false colors would
keep him boiling for a week.
"You can see what his foelings were
when one day he was ordered to proceed
to Sumatra undor the British flag. He
fumed, ranted and swore and then
fumed, ranted and swore over again,
with a few extra choice nautical anath
emas thrown in for emphasis. This nec
essary operation over, ho sent ashore to
the native sailmaker's for a British flag
the smallest to be had. When it came
aboard it was about 2 by 4 f oet in size
Hobbs looked at it askance and or
dered it to be put out of sight until sail
ing day.
"Sailing day arrived, and the British
flag was seen fluttering quietly from its
proper place on the Humming Bird. It
attracted mighty little attention, how
over, for the Alabama was entering the
harbor. She floated slowly along and
dropped anchor exceedingly close to the
Humming Bird. About this time the
harbor master was seen in his boat be
ing rowod rapidly toward Hobbs' ship,
and a huge bundle of bunting about the
size of au old shellback's sea chest was
rapidly haulod to the maintop of the
Humming Bird.
"The harbor master pulled up along
side the Humming Bird and yelled for
the captain. It could be seen that he
was angry about something. Hobbs
came to the rail in his plug hat and long
tailed bottle green coat, the customary
uniform of a skipper in those days,
and asked the harbor master what he
could da
" 'I want you to take down that flag
instantly, sir,' said the harbor muster.
" 'Gueaa not,' said Hobbs.
" It's a disgrace, sir, and an insult to
host such .a flag as that I'
"What's tho matter with the fiat;?
sitid Hobbs, surprised.
" 'It's nil wrong, ftr; tho proportions
nto nil wrong. The field ts too long for
it width, mid I'"' rest of it istoo wide for
its length. Tho crosses are wrongly nr
rnntfcd, ir, and it is a vilo caricature of
an honored flaff, sir! Remove it imme
diately!' 'Oness not,' said Hobbs again. 'Thnt
flag was bought in a British port and
ttiado by a British subject. Ho was a
Chlnnmnn, but that is neither hero nor
there. I don't care if it is tho flag of
Pntagonitt, so long as it was sold to mo
for that of England. Oood morning!'
"The harbor master had nothing to say
to this and started back, but he had no
sooner done so than the tunin halliards
wore pulled, tho bundlo at the peak
broko out, and in a second the stars and
stripes were waving before the aston
ished eyes of the harbor master, the Yan
kee skippers and Cnptnin Semmes of the
Alabama. Indeed, so large was Old
Glory in this particular case that it nl
most brnshed tho Alabama's decks, tho
vessels lining so near together. Tho huge
flag had been presented to tho ship at
her tunnelling and to tho excited spec
tators on this occasion seemed larger
than tho ship hersolf.
"The harbor tnnster put about, angrier
than before, and demanded explanations.
" 'What does that flag mean, sir?' said
he.
" 'That's my housu flag,' said Hobbs;
'tho trademark of my owners. I do not
lmow whether that red rag up there is
humpbacked nnd chibfooted or not, but
you enn't givo mo any points on the con
struction of that article up there with
tho stripes on it. I propose to fly that
flag how I please, when 1 please and
where I please, whether it bo in Hong
Kong or in h . For tho second time,
good morning!' aud Hobbs went below.
"Semmes was so angry over the stars
and stripes flaunting in his face that ho
swore to blow tho Humming Bird out of
the water if he ever caught her outside,
no mutter what ting she sailed under.
He never did it, however, as this voyage
hnng fire as so many others did, mid us
shortly after this tho Alabama exchanged
with tho Kearsarge certain little civili
ties we all know about liis blowing days
wore over." New York Sun.
A Itargatn lrtvin by Kinersun.
We were speaking of Emerson, and 1
had shown my idolatry of that sweet
Athenian Yankee, when mv friend said;
"There is no question that Ralph 7aldo
Emerson was a grand old American
Socrates, or Plato if you will, but much
of tho starch of my venoration for htm
was taken out by tho way ho onco coil'
tended with tho newsdealer at tho Cause
way street end of tho Fitchbnrg depot
for tho reduction of the price of a Boston
evening dnily paper because it was of tho
issue of a day or two previous. It re
minded mo of tho huckstering I wit
nessed in a bnkesliop gome time before,
whero a woman insisted on having a
8-ccnt loaf for 8 cents because it was two
days old, and finally, after a wordy con
tention with tho worthy white capped
baker, compromised by paying 4 cents
for the bread.
"Ralph, tho venerable, had tho cour
age of his mercenary convictions and in
sisted for a time on having a cent reduc
tion on the price of the paper. Tho
newsdealer, too, had tho courage of his
trade and did not seem to caro a banbee
for the author of tho 'Over Soul,' al
though I found afterward that ho knew
the intellectually august gentleman with
whom he was dealing. Knowing the
person of tho Concord philosopher, I was
amused enough to wait ovor another
train, had not tho purchaser and vender
compromised, and the dear good man
bought the wished for old paper with
another of that evening's issue." Bos
ton Globe.
Haw lis Dined.
The night lunch wagon is a product of
the nineteenth century. Its advent has
been hailed by thousands of weary night
workers, and the delectable frankfurter
and hot roll have carried joy and comfort
to myriad hearts and stomachs. Now,
Tom Carroll is one of the mon to whom the
night lunch is a thing of beauty and a
midnight joy. The other evening Tom
came into the reporter's room munching
at his heart's content, with the end of a
frankfurter in his hand.
"Where have you been?"
Tom smiled as he swallowed the last
bite.
"Been out dining a la carte." Boston
Budget.
A Publle Man's Frankness.
What sunshine is to earth a reasonable
publicity is to society. It is well enough
for every man to keep for himself some
cool and shady places where he may rest,
bnt the more he can live openly, and if
be is a public man the more frank and
unreserved he can make his relations
with other peoplo, the better it is for
him, and if he is worth knowing the bet
ter it is for the other people too. Har
per s Weekly.
The Latest Howl and 1'ltcher.
WaBhbowls and pitchers are offered
for sale at large china stores in charming
patterns, the bowl very large and shal
low, the pitchers high and slender. But
tho color, though beautiful within itself,
does not oommeud itself to the finest
taste. It is au exact reproduction of ths
brown earthenware usually relegated to
kitchen crocks. Philadelphia Press.
Tl, W.w - Tn..l .4 V4
Miss Kareve I was awfully tired
when I got into the car, but a gentleman
gave me a seat. Wasn't he kind?
Miss Sage Kind! What business have
the creatures to take the seats at all
when they know well enough that ladles
will want tuemr Boston Transcript.
HEADY FOIl THE HONK
CONVERSATION OF A MAN WHO WAS
PRIMED FOR A DYSPEPTIC.
A Clirnnle Invalid, llent on Iti latlng III
Own Case, Hears of a More Itemnrkable
One and Is Able to Oet In bnt a Fen
Words In the Course of a Ins; Talk,
"You are so burly and robust," said
the orgulous dyspeptic, with secret
scorn, to his casual traveling acquaint
ance, "that I presume you are never
troubled with dyspepsia. Yon have
much to be thankful for. t am often in
such a state that"
Was the burly acquaintance to endure
the garrulity of a chance dyspeptic? ' He
was not
'On the contrary," he Immediately re
plied, for, never having suffered a mo
ment in his life from any physical ail
ment, his mind was active and vigilant
"On the contrary, I have suffered un
told torture from dyspepsia, and as you
are interested in the subject I will will
ingly give you my experience. I began
with the finest digestion in the world,
but while engaged in the military service
of tho country, being 10 years scouting
on the frontier, the character of the ra
tions, together with the quality of the
confections of soldier cooks previously
engaged in driving hacks and slugging
castings"
"Oh, my trouble was not with cooks,'
interposed the dyspeptic loftily, but
nevertheless much chagrined to find the
burly acquaintance prepared to talk on
on the subject "As I was about to tell
yon, 1 am often in such a state that"
"And the irregularity of tho meals,"
hurried on the burly acquaintance,
"served, you understand, in camp, al
fresco and a la fourchette sans cereinonie,
threw me into such disorder that I had
indigestion, then dyspepsia, then non-
assimilation. 1 submit ted my case to the
army surgeons. They advised me
"Doctors are of little use. I will tell
you"
"To confino myself to the simplest and
most digestiblo edibles and esculents to
be found in the military commissary.
But 1 grew worse, and the surgeons or
dered me back to civilization, where 1
could obtain the delicate nutriment
which my disordered and seriously im
paired system rennired. I went to Chi
cago nnd liegan a diet of chicken broth,
fresh fruit, stale bread made from newly
ground graham, steamed oatmeal
"Oh, I tried all those. Five years
ago"
"The result was that 1 grew worse, as
before, aud the local doctors advised me
to go to to go to New York, where I
should be able to find foods better suited
to my parlous state. Accordingly I went
to New York aud laid out a diet of the
finest and purest of the selected foods
that that metropolis affords"
"Plain country food taken as the sys
tem requires"
"My physician advised exact regular
ity, I had two ounces sea food, two
ounces farinaceous food, two ounces of
the juice of fresh imported fruits and
two ounces coagulated albuminoids ev
ery twq hours. Growing steadily worse,
I consulted higher medical talent. Ono
doctor kept me on clam broth, another
on tangerines, another on shredded
broiled frogs' legs, another on distilled
alfalfa"
"Five years ugo"
"Growing Bteadily worse, I consulted
still higher huthority. I wns now told
that my diet was at variance with na
ture. The doctor told me that nature
was proportion, rhythm, music foods
must be takon in harmonious propor
tions. He prescribed the same sea foods,
cereals, meats nnd fruits as the others,
but in a chromatic scale of the decreas
ing seventh, throwing in occasionally a
few vegetables by way of variation of
the fugue and double extracts as over
tones" "Of course yon recovered, your case
being merely temporary"
"Growing steadily worse, I consulted
a doctor who had had great success
among the millionaires financial suc
cess. He was a man of blunt speech
and plain common sense. He said I had
overworked my stomach and must givo
it entire rest. What I was to do for a
living in the meantime ha did not say,
but he took a large fee with great scorn,
rightly despising me for the small
amount of money that he left me. My
stomach was now worse thnn ever. It
refused to be cajoled and despised my
offers of peace. Excuse mo a moment
Once I had spent over 48 hours fasting.
I then drank two drams of soda mint
with four ounces of aqua pura every
thing was now drams, scruples and
ounces with mo, and the zigzag symbols of
those distressing quantities appeared in
my nightly nightmares like a procession
of Daniel Quilps and Humpbacks of No
tre Dame as I say v drams of sterilized
milk at 70 degrees centigrado, with iv
wiggles of bismuth and ii jiggle jagglos
of soda, with a couple of glasses of wine
and pepsin to aid in the mysterious proc
esses of digestion.
"The large amount of actual food con
tained in the ounce of milk began to dis
tress me exceedingly, but the wine, to
which I was not accustomed, gave me
courage. I took several more doses of it
immediately, increasing the doses rhyth
mically. I had not felt so well in months,
I said. 'Wine is undoubtedly a mocker,
bnt it is a good rubifaciont, besides pogs,
sessing valuable qualities as an antinar
cotio and merrymaker. Now, very well,
Mr. Stomach,' I said, 'you are unamena
ble to gentleness, unmoved by kindness
mail iresiousiv to the concord of ".
culinary symphonies'.- I will givo you
something to rnge about.' Putting on
my lint, 1 wnlkml lightly adown tho
street, and entering, not a doctor's wait
ing room, bnt a reBtnurnnt, I instantly
ordered nnd partook of a repast consist
ing in part of turtlo soup, roast old goose,
broiled fat lobsters, corned beef and
cabbage, salt pork, hot rolls, Italian
chceso, tripe, mince pio, black coffee,
chartreuse nnd a black and green cigar.
"As you can imagine, when you con
sider the philosophy of it, that ended it
I hope yon will never be troubled as I've
been. Good day." New York Sun.
Disrobed In the Street.
, There is a young colored damsol in
Washington whose soul is at present
filled with wrath because of the sum
mary action taken by a society woman
to whom she had been handmaiden.
With wnys that are dark and tricks that
are vain the young woman proved her
self conversant by making away with
articles of value. Among these was a
silk dress of which her mistress had been
especially fond. Though accused of the
theft, the woman stoutly denied It and
took hcrdismissal, vehemently protesting
her innocence. Not long afterward, as
the daughter of Ham was sailing down
the street in all the glory of the stolen
garment, she came upon her mistress
rapidly walking toward her with the
look of a great purpose in her eye.
Retrent was impossible, as was a fall
lire to comply with the astonishing de
mand that she then and there divest
herself of the gown. As the alternative
was to be immediately handed over to
the police, the perturbed young woman
did as she was bid with all speed possi
ble, nnd in as brief a time as it takes to
tell the tale she stood with her ebony
perfections exposed to public view while
in nn opposite direction her former mis
tress wnlked nwny, bearing in triumph
the stolen property. Kate Field s Wash
ington. Honr Not to Exterminate the Indians.
Let us not vigorously crowd the Indi
ans to abandon tribal organization. If
this is done before they are ready for it.
thev will surely lapse into degradation
Let them remain in conpact bodies on
reservations to help one another over the
cl i lingo and do not compel them to com
minglo and compote with tho white race
in a struggle in which they must be hope
lessly doomed. Slowly by Ibw and by
Instruction teach them the value of our
property laws. Do not force citizenship
upon them, but let them sue for it We
should hold ourselves ever ready to grant
It, but let thorn first discover its benefits.
If such n policy is mnlntninod for two
generations more, tho problem will be
solved tho remnant of the Indians will
bo saved and absorbed in modern en
lightenment, Major J. W. Powell in
Forum.
Mlllns Melodies.
What on tho lips of the "intellectual
doubter" would have been only profane
sarcasm was' Irresistibly funny because
of its innocence, when Lewis, his im
agination fired by the first opera he had
ever witnessed, inextricably mixed up
Moodv and '-aukey and "I ho Jlikado
as follows: Tho day following his at
tendance at the hitter performance he
burst upon the scandulized maternal
vision attired in imitation of his admired
Ko-Ko in a patchwork crib quilt and a
feather duster in his hands waving ao-
contuation to each syllable as he capered
about chanting:
The will of the Ixrd be done, be done.
And so you had bettor succumb, cumb, eumul
Washington News.
Just Like a Man.
Mrs. Stocks If we move into that
cheap house, we'll lose caste.
Mr. Stocks Don't care if we do. It's
the best we enn afford without running
hopelessly In dobt, and besides it s a com-
fortablo place anyhow.
Mrs, Stocks Huh! Just like a man.
Only so you can be comfortable and pay
every little bill as quick as it comes in,
you don't caro what the world thinks.
JNow York Weekly.
The Dominion of Canada has an area
of 8,437,000 square miles nnd comprises
one-sixteenth of the land surface of the
globe. It is tho largest of all tho British
possessions, Australia, the next in size,
containing 3,0-14,028 square miles.
The boy who is whacked, cuffed,
kicked, half starved, overworked and
otherwise neglected, generally, if he
keeps out of prison and does not die,
makes tho best man. Exchange.
Fogg has about made up his mind that
life is hardly worth the living in thest
duys when a man has to keep posted on
so many things that are not worth know
ing. The oldest statue of the world is ol
the shoik of an Egyptian village. It it
belioved to be not less than 6,000 yean
old
The Great Eastern was the largest
stiip ever built 6b0 feet long, 83 broad
00 deep and 28,021 tons burden.
Too aiiHurous.
"It is said that Sum Rugglus, tho lady
killer, is dead gouu on that pretty Miss
Green. Why don't you warn hor?"
"Thanks, I never pluy with matches."
Detroit Free Press.
Just as Easily Worded.
Mrs. Cumso I advertised for a plain
cook today.
Mr. Cumso WUUo didn't you adver
tise for a pretty one while yon were
about it? Truth,
WHEN ARE WE "LADIES?"
Mrs, John Is Surprised to Discover That
It Is Not All of tho Time.
"I had nn experience today," said Mrs.
John ns she broke off a bit of her soup
bread last night nnd begnn dnlntlly to
lip tier cream of aspnrngus.
"You have so many," I replied, "thnt .
it should be no novelty, and they are nil
Interesting," 1 finished invitingly, though
I knew I should get the "experience"
without this little sop.
Mrs. John merely arched her eyebrows.
"It wns a small one," she went on,
but it is one of so many similar thnt it
set me to thinking afterward during my
ride up town."
I waited.
"I was in a shop near a crowded coun
ter to which I vainly tried to get access,
when I saw a woman completo her pur
chase, pay her money and stand waiting
for the change. I thought this an oppor
tunity, and I spoke to her: 'May I have
your place, please, if you are throught"
'Not until I am through,' she replied
coldly, without even turning her head,
and she stood there nearly five minutes
longer before parcels and coins were
handed to her."
I think," I replied, "she was a tele
phone girl."
"She waa a very disobliging woman,
certainly," said Mrs. John, "and at tho
elevated station I met another.
I was carving the joint, so I only
scowled.
I stood waiting my turn in tho line
with two men before mo," continued
Mrs. John, "when this womnn wnlked
up and along the line and calmly thrust
herself before us all."
"Well, isn't that what you call worn- .
an's progress?" I couldn't help inquiring.
"It was one womnn's progress," re
torted Mrs. John, "and everybody hated
her for it."
Then she dropped her vehemence nnd
became discoursive.
"It was this double experience which,
ns I said, set me to thinking. I began to
wonder when we are 'ladies,' if at nil.
"We are not certainly whon wo do
either of these selfish and unjust things,
nor pushing and scrambling around a
bargain counter, nor spreading our skirts
over two seats in a filling street car. Wo
are not When in church or elsewhere we
aro overcome with the consciousness of
being better dressed than our neighbors,
nor when we are devouring a bit of gos
sip, sepeatlng and enlarging upon it; nor,
indeed, when we are scolding the chil
dren, quarreling with servants or re
garding, if we nre boarders, our land
lady ns a neuteal enemy,"
"Nor when," I helped Mrs. John, "as
last summer in the mountains that
healthy young woman refused to give
up her big room over Hiindny to accom
modate four persons with no other shel
ter, while a perfectly comfortable single
room was at her disposal, and it had
been in the bond of her contract at low
rates that she should occasionally, if
required"
"No, indeed," echoed Mrs. John, who
was one of tho unhappy four, "I shall
never forgive that girl."
Then she caught my eye, and we both,
laughed.
"It's no laughing matter," she finished,
defiantly, "then or now. It is a pity
rather that there should be so many
women who wonld scorn not to be called
'ladies' who have only a thin parlor ve
neer of mannors."
And I said "So it is." Now York
Times. '
The All tho Yeur Bound Bathing Club.
The All tho Year Round Bnthino- eln.
of London was up to a few years ago
qnito a prominent institution in the eyes
of sanitary scientists, tbongh of late
years it seems to have relapsed into a -condition
of innocuous desuetude. Its '
members simply pledged themselves to
batlie in the Serpentine river every morn
ing In the year. It is hardly necessary
to say that none but the strongest con
stitutions nre able to comply with the
rules, but a sturdy bodv of men of varv.
ing ages for several years carried out the
obligations to the letter, and when it
was necessary they would cheerfully
break the ice before entering the river. '
Medical men frequently accompanied
the bathers, and quite a number of pa
pers appeared in the medical journals
sotting forth the good and bad effects of
bathing every morning before S a. m. in
running water. St. Louis Globe-Democrat,
The Influence of Association.
One sometimes wonders at the singular
lapses into slovenly aud illiterate blun
ders conspicuous in men and women who
"should know better." True, they should
and probably do know better, but in
daily practice few people rise very much
above the ordinary level of those with
whom they always converse. A city
bred girl went to live in a part of the
country where provincialisms aro the
current coin of daily talk. Returning a
fow years later to her home, no one
would have supposed her to be the same
person, so many queer little phrases and
downright forms of speech, inelegant
and lacking in good form, had she, a very
susceptible person, picked up nnd adopt
ed. Harper's Bazar. ,
In a Bostanraut.
A customer onco .ordered a brace of
grouse with chips for a party of nine.
On my bringing them to tuble his fiice
was a perfect study, and he exclaimed:
"Why, 1 thought they were as big as
geese 1"
He then took me on one side and ex
plained that be waa unablo to pay for,
grouse all round, and finally they all had
(rrill. London Tit-Bits.