PROGRESS AND PATRIOTISM.
PERFORMANCES WE WILL CELEBRATE AT THE
CHICAGO WORLD'S FAIR.
OUR FIRST FOUR HUNDRED YEARS.
What America Has Achieved Since Columbus' Time. A Won
derful Era in the World's History. Architectural
Triumphs at Jackson Park.
NCE a Thought enmrt
I from the great nn
I known mid wondered
tlirouji'i thebusy haunt
ot men. It whs not
sublime thought, a
holy or a lovely thought.
Hut it was a great
thought, brnve and
heroic, with a high des-
7 tiny for the benefit of
-r-L.'C r w1 tne unman race.
n i i&p' n"1 u movj thT"Vh
bodiless and unseen,
but people felt its In
fluence and wondered. At length a
bold tea captain found favor with it,
and it settled upon blm, and he be
came Its slave. He was a rover from
Ills childhood, half trader, half pirate, in the
days when piracy was no crime; hardy,
courageous, enterprising, persistent and
avaricious, the type of man that succeeds.
We have this man's name variously as
Cristobal Colon, Christ, iforo Colombo, and,
latinized, Christopher Columbus.
The thought filled his mind and told him
that ti e world was round, and that the
magic island of Ziptinull and the fabulously
wealthy Indies could be reached by sailing
west in ships, instead of riding eot on
(lromadar es. And Columbus believed it
and thought there was money in the
scheme.
So, on Aug. 3. 1403, with three ships
filled out by the impressible Queen Isabella
of Osti e, he set. sail Irom J'nlos harbor,
touched st the Canaries Sept. (1, and on Oct.
12. after a voyago that was not lacking
either in dangers or hardships, lunded on
Uuanahani one of the llahama islands. Im
mediately on touching solid earth ihe bold
navigator raised the cross of the true faith
and the ronner of Iheir Hpanish majotties
of Catile and Aragon, ollored up prayers
for his safe voyage an t proceeded to cluitu
everything in sight,
It is this landing that we who live four
centuries later inhabitants of the new world,
that Columbus in all his ilfe never know,
was a new world, are about to celebrate in
the dedicatory ceremonies of the world's
fair. Across the vast space of 400 busy yesrs
the spirit of discovery will clusp hunrlg with
the spirit of progress, marking at once tho
close und beginiiiug of an epoch.
These are in the French phraso, fin do
aiccle, "end of the age" days, audi in a
sense they are, for the tremendous Nine
teenth cenlury Is drawing to its finality
and not long hence will be historic, rather
than actual. Therefore it is titling that the
preparations and plans for the Chicago dis
play should include not only trophies of
present achievement, but also tangible ex
hibits of past endeavor.
And what a magnificent period It la to be
commemorated by these preliminary page
ant at Jackson parkl No oilier volume of
roan's record so . teems with tales of
toil and buoomw! First the discovery nf the
mi world; then tbe exploration; after that
the conquest and settlement; the creation of
new states, and finally the vindication of
toe principle of tbe republic.
lue but barely hint at some of the
' 1. ' Ui By orally subset themselves
IT lKY-AV
r
Vy t A mi oip"ill'''m'll'm fTA ' a 1 m
Hf ipy' p --" gcgP?', " '.;,,Cz
few tMmm
In connection with the dedicatory ceremon
ies. The ton years between Columbus and
the I'liliiniMii'n exposition liavo been so
stupendous in tlielr outcome of progress,
ile-p t woes nod disasters, that it Is fitting
I lint t lie) world s fair should be a stupendous
e.Nponi nt of this mighty and unexampled
era.
The participation of women In the expo
sition promises to be one of the most Inter
rating a well as novel features. With a
commodious mid imposing building design
ed by a young ldv architect, and with an
aliiiiiilnncoof motley, and with lull recog
ntn.n. Indorsement and aid by the l'i-.::eil
Suites government and the exposition dtrec
torv. tlie women have an opportunity of
nhnwing, In most signal manner, the con
dition I their sex ilirniigbnut the worlil,
what are the achievements ot women in tho
various brunches of human ind'-avor, and
what Is her ailnntnhih'tv lo different occupa
tions ami lines of industrial ami charitable
work. I mler the direction nf the hoard
president Mrs. Potter rainier tho work
ol organization and of enlisting the interest
of women tlirouijliout the United States and
in foreign countrim has progressed to u
most satis actory stage. The lady managers
are practically in charge i f several ot the
congresses which the auxiliary will hold.
Tbe woman's building is two stories high,
with on elevation of Ik) feet. The rotunda
is TilxiiA feet, ri ni lilng through tho height of
the building, and covered Willi a skylight.
On the roof of the pavilions are oen areas,
which will be covuied with oriental awning,
tine will serve us a cafe and the other as a
tes gnrden.
Naturally one associates the work of wo
man with tho progress of art, and so it is
quite appropriate, to group tho two, for art
would be nothing without woman, and wo
man owes much of her idealization and
emancipation to art.
Tho hue arts building is an admirable,
type of re lined classic, architecture of
(irecinn-lonic design. The main building,
500x3a) feet, is entered by four groat portals,
richly ornamented with architectural sculp
ture. Located in tho northern part of tlio
park, the south front faces tlio Ingoon, while
the immediate neighborhood of the build
ing is ornamented with groups of statues,
replica ornaments of classic art, and other
statues of heroic and life size proportions,
(ialleries ill feet In width extend around the
entire building, forming a continuous prom
enade. The lop of tho dome, 125 feet in
height, is surmounted by a colossal statue of
the type of the famous figure of Wiaged
Victory. The general color of the building
is light gray stone, and although the struc
ture is temporary, H is ti reproof. The frieze
of the exterior wul Is and the pediments of
the principal entrances are ornamented
with sculptures and portraits In baao-relief
of the masters of ancient art.
In the great palace of art the space is as
signed to the nations as follows: The Uni
ted Htatos, S4,3tl square feet; France, 8S.8IM;
Germany. 20.400; Ureat ilriiain, 20,31tt;
Italy. 12.410: Belgium. 12,318; Austria, 11,.
504; Holland, 0,337; Norway, 0,402; Pen
mark, 3,moo; Japan. 2.01U: Canada, 2,803.
Mexico, 1,500,
In addition to the adornment! ipeolal to
each building tiiere are scattered through
the park and in the main halls 48 sculptural
groups and 103 distinct figures, all of herolo
size and the work of the sculptors Daniel
C. French, llohl-Bmllh, Martlnv Hitter, John
Hoyle, Laredo Tafl, Robert Kraus, M. A.
Wsagen and Miss Hideout. These figures
and groups are plsoed aa follows: Franklin
iu electricity building; Bepublio lu the
mz - "P jjnnr SiSsv,
basin; hottlcultiirn building, 10 figures;
transportation building, HI figures and S
groin; administration building, M figures
and 2U groups; machinery hall, 1.5 figures
(these ore duplicated several times); agricul
tural building, 6 groups; manufactures
building, 1H sculptural eagles 111 feet high
and 21 lecl across the wings. There are two
cattlo groiiis In the colonade hetwteu the
agriculture ami macninery muioings.
Hevernl of these figures and groups de
deserve more description than can be given
here, nnd those completed, as well as the
designs for those vol In making, have re
ceived the highest praise. Among them
are Hculptor Mead's large group on the agri
cultural building and bis minor art groups;
the groups representing Industry, Con
merco ami Abundance; the stutuu of Frank
lin and the statue of the Hepuhlio. '1 he
Kranklin. bv Itohl-Sinith. Is HI feet high,
cost 'Us, and stands in the main entrance
if the electricity building. The Jlepublie,
bv Panlel C. French, is (in feet high and
stands on pedestal 40 teet high at the
entrance to the lla-in from l.olte Michigan,
The cost of the statue wLen completed will
b in.um.
Kveiy where, on tho buildings and In the
statuary, crops out. hi glorious designs the
intense Americanism in mo wnoie vast pro
tect. 'Tatriotlsin.'' Tradition." "I.llierly."
these area few of the manv groups that
adorn the structures and do honor to the
makers. Hesldes tills highly creilitablo ex
tiression of lovaltv to the republic, nearly
every department of the great exisltlon
will nave Its relics on view oni recorus,
portraits, machines. miKlels, inventions,
etc. eoch Inivlng historical interest or
niarkiiur n stinio of itrogress in Its own line.
l'articu arlv nuniornn will be these histori
cal exhibit from the United States. Almost
everv stato will contribute.
In the practicnl sen-o nothing can lie
more inteimtiuir than the bortlculturnl. n
ricultnriii and tlsheries' displays. .Mo'her
F.arth and Father Neptune are the sources
of human existence, and it Is well that to
the Held ami oce. n proper tribute should be
paid at tiiegreut anniversary.
The horticultural department i f the ex-
fositiou has ro. eived a great number of con
ri Initio 11 toward its display, Chiol Hamuels
Is daily l i receipt of information iu regsrd
to collections of rare plants which are being
made, in my of whiili are now on their
way to Chicago. In ihe exhibition of the
horticultural department Australia will
make it line showing. The commissioners
from the New South Wales arc preparing a
tine exhibit of large plauls.tree ferns, palms,
eto.. and tho first installment ison its way
to Chicago. An officer ol tho Hydney bo
tanic gardens accompanies the shipment to
Han Francisco. Should this consignment
arrive in good order more will be forwarded
at once. The first consignment of the col
lection of plants from Jumaica has already
arrived In Chicago.
Horticultural hall is the largest and
f;rmidu3t ever erected for a horticultural ex
lib tion. It contains about H1I.0O0 square
feet more of lloor space than the combined
floor areas of Ihe buildings used for a similar
Jurpose at the centennial, New Orleans and
'una. It is 1,000 feet long by an extreme
width of 287 feet. Tho dome is 187 feet iu
diameter and has an altitude of 113 feet on
the iniiile, thus giving room for the largest
palms, bamboos, tree fetus, giuut cacti, eic.
The basKo and alto relievo ornamentation,
in a frieze extending along the front and
sides ot the building, is especially attractive.,
and in connection with statuary and foun
tains will have an unusual phasing effect,
aside from the plant decoration, which will
harmonize with the general plan of the
building.
The plan Is a central glass dome, con
nected by front and rear curtains with two
end pavilions, forming two Interior courts,
each 88 by 270 feet. In these courts will he
placed bearing orange trees and other seml
tropical fruits from California and Florida,
to illustrate the niannor of growing and
cultivating the orchards and grovel iu those
Htates.
Near the liortloulturs building green
houses, aggregating 2VX square feet, have
been constructed, ami will be used for recup
erating plants injured Irom any cause, and
for the purpose of developing tnom to the
highest degroe of perfection before pluciug
them on exhibition.
The epace assigned to the department for
exhibits of trees, shrubs and plants which
will be hardy In Ihe open gr und during tbe
time ot the exposition embraces about 25
acres, and includes the greater port of
beautiful island, cenltally located, artisti
cally laid out In beantifii) walks, and the
choicest part of the fair ground. Through
this entire area has been placed a complete
network of plies tn supply all tho water nec
essary to Insure vigorous mid healthy growth
of all trees, siiruns anil plants.
There will be dlspinvt ot nowors in an
parts of the ground, but. particularly
around the horticultural building and on
the wooded Island. Here will be the rose
garden, with more than ftn.lKjo rose tmsties
in It. Here also will he every variety of
flowering slinth or tree, with aquatic, plant
along the lagoon shores.
There will e a continuous procession
of different flowers throughout the six
months of the fair, special attention
being devoted to ench in its season. ihe
fnir nrlllonen ill MtlV With a million tlllipl
In bloom around the horticultural building,
and will close In October with a great chrys
anthemum show. Inside the horticultural
building the fair will oien with the greatest
show of orchids ever seen. The horticul
tural building faces the center or tho wood
ed island, which contains 10 acres.
The agricultural hiiildiiig is in slie S00 by
WW feet. Toe I el rbt of the enrob Is (11
f et and the dome 11. The floor area is 1. 5
acres anil there is an annex covering nearly
four acres.) There h Im n used In the main
building i.ftm U'Hfect of lumber and 2,lsKj.
mm isitiuils of structural Iron; in the annex
2,0l,0,)0 feet of lumlier.
'I bis building is most richly ornamented,
and Is adorned vhh many groups nf statu
arv of heroic sue. '1 he main entrance Is 04
feet wi'l", noil Is adorned with Corinthian
pillars 50 feet high and 5 feet ill diame
ter. The rotunda is WO feet in diameter and
is surmounted by a great gttis dome. It is
worthy of note in this connection that agri
culture and its kindred Interests of foieary,
dairy and live slock has exhibition space
under roof if 09 acres, the buildings costing
1.21S.O00. The agricultural building is con
nected with machinery hall by a colon
nade. Tlio fish and fisheries building has an ex
treme length of 1,100 feet, and its width il
2n0fuet, The building i-snb-di vldod into
three part to conform tothesluie of the
site. In the central portion will be n gener
al llshories exhibit, ill one of the polygonal
buildings will be the angling exhibit, and
in the other the acquarin. The cxtorior ol
tho building; is Spanish lloniannsqne, and
will contrast agreeably in appenrnnco with
the classic atyioofall the other building.
Manufactures und liberal arts will re
represented iu tho largest mulling in I
world. It is interesting to reud about th e
stupendous structure. It is awn inspiring to
contemplate tho vast expanse of its exterior
or stand within it and with the eye measure
its glgiintic proportions. 1'y many this
great building will bo regarded ss distinct
ive a feature of the fair of 1SU.1 as was the
Kiflel tourer of the 1'arls exposition of 1880,
From a mere statement of the dimensions
of I his monster structure one can get but a
faint idea of Its immense size, A few com-pari-ons
will assist greatly. One has to
truvel utmost a mile in walking about it.
The building occupies a most completions
place iu the grounds. It faces the lake, with
only lawns ami promenades between. North
of it is the I'niled S.ates government build
liiir, south the harbor entrance and the Casino
and Music hall, and west the Klcctrical
building and the lagoon separating it from
the great Island, which in part is wooded
and iu part resplendent with acres of briijht
flowers of various hues. The building is
rectangular in sbapo, being 1,087 feet long
by "87 feet wido.
Other facts und statistics of this levlsthan
of tlio exposition aro numerous and Inter
esting. From the fact that it is the largest
building in the world and the chief archi
tectural market of the greatest world'a fair
iu history, one can scarcely tire in gaxiug
at it or grow weary In reading about It. Its
erection has Involved achiovemouti of con
struction never tefore attained.
Tae grounds embrace 033 acres, of which
Jackson park has 553 and Midway pjaisance
has 80. Jackson park is beautltu ly situat
ed In the southeastern portion of Chlacgo,
about seven miles from the city ball or
central business portion, and has a frontage
of a mile and a half on Lake Michigan. It
may be reached fmm "down towu'r by the
Illinois Central railway, by elevated road,
by two lines of cable cart, and by steam
boats ou Lake Michigan. During the ex
position all excursion trains from outside
points will run within tbe grounds, and
visitors will not have to make any uhange
THE DAY Of DEDICATION.
OPENING- OP THB WOHLD'S AI3
BUILDINGS OCT. 01.
Chicago's Car. minlals, A Great Crowd
of Distinguished People Will
Oathir to View the Expo
e.ton Orounde,
HE dedication exercises of tht
World s rair wl II be held in tl,a
great hall of Ihe mnniifacturen
and liberal arts buildings nt ('lit
Cairo, and the iimostnp turn.
monies of national and ofllciul dedication
will take place. It will be a memnrnbM)
line, the proudest In the history of Chicago.
It will be pieeedcd bv an introductory day
nf street paiales ami followed hy a day ol
lesnvities and rejoicing tnree davs or dis
play, outdoing by far eve thing heretofore
wit'tii-sseil on this continent.
The audience itelf will te historic. Th
president and eiihinct have bran invlied,
and many members nf tlmsupri me court
and boib houses of congress, governors, ora
tors, generals and statesmen, distinguished
foreigners of various ranks nnd eminent
me:i and Koinen ol our os ii land will be
the central liirti.es. In the audience will
b'j p'-opleof almost e ery race on earth, e
pwlallv from our on 3..VIJ,isr) squats
miles of territory. There will indeed be
union of stales, hearts and hands, an Meat
ly nertect representation of Ihe greatest re
public, the greatest single nation the world
has ever seen.
i ll i orators will be worthy of th occa
sion. Hon. Chaiineev M. Iiepew to delivet
the Columbian oral ion. the venerable and
eloquent William C. I. llreekintiilge, ol
Kentucky, to g ve I ho denratory oration
and trace the uphol ling of tho 'nation In
i hlc'i bis own family has held so distill-
fuisiic.i a place for tiioro Huin a century,
'octry will lend Its aid. music of the grand
est sort wil. enliven the occasion, and art In
its hl'-'hest development will add i s im (Ta
ble charm.
This will bo the great day of the three, l
It is roper lor me romiiiemorjtton ol ail
event hy far the most important in the his
torv nf the last 18 centuries. Hut the pre
ceding and f dinning days will be only
second to it III Importance and display. On
IM. 20 will occur the great civic proe'e.-sion,
the principal 'rniiiat,ons in the imtion
passing in review t efore the president and
t-ahiiict. At night Jackson park will he il
luminated as no ground In America ever has
been, and the last ritv, Oct. 2 i, will he de
voted to military reviews and the evening to
grntul S'S'iol features.
Tho exposition buildings are practically
com pi te. Th Inst of Hie Inn work on the
tTfUl machinery lu I was placed early in
September, and the principal carpentry
work is in finishing the tno spires. The
exterior covering is nearly all linishod on
ihe north front of the main InilldiiiL'. l bs
annex is practically fin shed exteriorly and
Is being lathed. Tho linal estimate of the
Kdgemnor Ilridge company for the fteol
work on the iuaiiufiicturers''biiiiillng shows
that in the roof of the central hull there
have been placed 12.0 8,77,' pounds of steel,
costing .V.lt.l"r!t.77.
'i he example has stimulated the men In
charge of the Slat buildings, nnd cverv one
will be completed in goo-i time. The visitors
pr sent on tlie first day will look on a com
pleted exposition, vt lion tne electric cir
cuit is closed, which shall start the pon
derous machinery goiii j, It will be far as
possible a show complete and entire. The
State buildings now enclosed and rooted.
with the rough work done and Interior fin
ishing progressing, aro Illinois, Kansas.
West Mruiina, Khnde Island, Ma-rachu
setts, Connecticut, New Hampshire, loaa,
Maine. Arkansas. Indiana. Ohio. 1'eunsvl.
vanta, Nebraska, Montana, Maryland and
Delaware.
Seventy buildings are now In progress ol
cnnsirui lion i n ine exposuion group, H, us
follows: Main exposition buildings Ad
ministration, agriculture and annex, dairy,
electricity, fisheries, forestry, tine arts an I
annexes, horticulture, manufactures, mines.
machinery, transiortation mid annex, wo
man's l;l.
Minor exposition buildings TlnMeahlp.
boiler house, casino, cleaning works, co.d
storago house, colonnade, freight sheds
(three) fuel, oil ank. greenhouse, Hyde
park police stations, life-suving station, mu
sic hall, otllceof ground and building, is-r-Istylo,
photographic bulldinif, pump house,
Woodlawn polico Hat'.on 17.
The State and foreign buildings nnmhei
28, and the concessions of special buildings
are: linker's cocoa, German village. Litihy
glass works, Moorish palace, New England
clam bake, naiatoriuin, panorama of the
Duruiose Alps, ounoraiuu uf tho volcano of
Kilauea, l'uck, sliding railway, Wlilto Star
line .11
it may be well to odd that there are 2,2 tn
employes on the pay roll, their waes aver
aging 711 per month. F.unu'h has hen
done to strike visitors w.th astonishment
even now, and there yet remains six nioiithf
for active work.
Of course, iie finances of such a lrlg en
terprise will be of interest to tlio American
people, llown to Sept. 1 the total receipts
from all sources were tlii. i),0l.i, of which
Chicago hud paid .",0n.'l,72il iinil f j,ft'is,!i.fj
had been paid on current installments of
stock subscriptions. The government's
contribution was not counted on as yet,
and only iM,60) hud been received in sou
venir coins. Of the total 88,7 ld,2.'.0 hud
been paid out, leaving a cash balance of
!t,fk7,785. It is painiul to find the follow
ing item at tlio close of tho report:
"Six hundred and forty-eight accidents
had occurred up to the time of the comple
tion of tho report, divided as follows us to
the extent of injuries: Killed, I I; fatal y In
jured, 2; seriously injured, 25; sligiitly in
jured, i)07. Of tnis number only one vas a
Visitor.'
At the same data foreign governments
had expended 12i,000. England of course,
leads wltii an expenditure of $11,785. The
Argentine republic, Uruguv and I'ariiguay
have together exiended tlSJ.i.70. Neither
France nor Spain has yet expended any
sum worth mentioning, but wid do so, of
course, before the exposition opens. Ex
clusive of work done by foreigners, the
total paid on building to Sept. 1 was 44,381,
7U0 94.
There can be no doubt that in extent,
lieauty, artistic effect, completeness, adapta
bility to it purposes and iu all reiects that
appeal to the sense and the taste even of
the moat critical, Jackson park 10 1803 will
be the most beautiful exposition spot the
woxld hue ever seen.
The World's Shipwrecks.
We hoar much of tho many finely
modeled ships that are built from time
to tlmo, but little ot tho many veasole
that are lost. Occasionally publlo in
terest Is excited by heroism displayed
in saving a shipwrecked crew;' but In
many canes tiie Iojs of a ttltip is only
Indicate! by a line or two in the list of
casualties In tho daily papore. Who,
for lnatanoo, would think that last year
68 vessels, the larger proportion chips,
tailed from some port or other, and ae
cording to Lloyd's annual return, never
again were heard ot, and those, too,
were fairly good-sized craft. England
and hor colonies contribute 2H.E00 out of
the 40,100 tons whloli have thus passod
out ot rot ord. The total ot wrecks, too,
seems large 1,086 vessels ot 64tf,lMtf
tons but it rouat be remembered that
there are probably always afloat on the
high toas over '20,000,000 tons of ship
ping, which taut, although it Increases
the surprise that so many vessels should
be lost without any news, indicate
generally a fairly low ratio ot loaa
V to 4 per cent, ot tounage.
When a nian Is no longer bl
to do barm, be becomes possessed a'
ua ambition to do good. ,
0UK BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS 8AYING3 AND DO
INGS HERB AND THERE.
Jnhrs anil Jokelets that Are Rnpposesf M
flare Hem lloesntl Jtorn flaylnss and
Doings that Art Odd, Curious . auid
l.aughab!o.
Sprinkles of Spies,
fla thought lio'd go to Congress, but he
didn't got a votei
Although he took his check-book and wrote
and wrote aud wrote.
Detroit Tribune
Tub nnnouncotnent of purses for 8-ycar-olds
seems llkoa bitter partiality
when so ninny grown folks have none.
The echotl teachers nro gcttlnp
tan on their cheeks. 'cxt month
they put rattan on their pupils
Huston Transcript
She I thouiht you tokl me Mr.
.Nixon was a man of regular habits.
He Well, ho has been drinking
Steadily ever since I knew hltn.
Lire.
Tommy The lion Is a carnivorous
itnlmal, nin't lie, paw? Mr. Flgg
Yes. That Is what makes him so
dangr-rous to meat Indianapolis
Journal.
He (anxiously) "Did I understand
you to say Miss or Mrs.?" bho (de
murely) "Miss." He (gallantly)
"Pray, allow mo to make It Mrs."
Troy Press.
Edisox has patented 000 Inven
tions, but he lias to slap at tho sum
mer liy Just ns vainly as anybody else.
Uenius cannot do everything. Balti
more American.
"Now," said tho new reporter, as
nls eye followed tho track of tho blue
pencil, "I understand what Is meant
by an editor's line of thought-"
Washington Star.
Dashawat How do you like my
friend Hunker? Travers Ho hasn't
any backbone. Why, the fellow let
me have ns snon as I asked blm!
New York Herald.
Surface Isn't Righol rather
young to bj a cynic? Kowlcy Oh,
no! Ho has b"5?n graduated a year
find tho world hasn't rocognlzod hlra
yet. New York Herald.
Road Aoext (stopping funeral)
Hold up y'r hands! I want all th'
money ye'vo got! Chief Mourner
Iilcss mo! Here's tho undertaker's
bill-collector already. Llfo.
Traveks "How long a cour.o does
your son tako nt college?" Pobson
"That's Just tho question I usked. He
wrote back that it would bo 'two
tulles with a turn.' " New York Sun.
Mn. Wickwuie Hero Is something
you ought to road an article on
ways n woman can save money. Mrs.
Wlckwiro Does It say anything
about her remaining single? Indian
a polls Journal.
Smith 'ou needn't tell me that
dogs don't know ns much as human
beings. I took Ponto to church with
me last Sunday. Jones Yc.s? Smith
Well, sir, ho slept through the
wholo sermon. Life.
Mrs. Keedick (praising young Mr.
Adlot to her daughter) He doesn't
smoke, drink, or swear. lie's a good
biy nnd would be truo to you. Miss
Keedick (slinking her head) He's
too good to be true, mamma. Truth.
"I suppose," observed narry Ho
Jack after the doctor had amputatod
both arms ns tho result of Independ
ence Day casualties, "I suppose that
I shall have to learn to shoot cannon
with my toes by tho next Fourths
Jury. A SKfppER claims to bavo seen the
jea sorpent In the sky. If tho phe
nomenal monster has really been
translated, many an ancient mariner
will experience a discouraging loss
of material for new yarns. Now
York "World.
Mits. Kekne There aro times
when I wish I wore a man. Mr.
Keeno For Instance? Mr. Kecno
When I pass a milliner's window, and
think how happy I could make my
wifo by giving her a new bonnet.
Texas Si flings.
"I hear that young Slimly is dying
ot consumption. How does that
happen when ho Is such a constant
smoker, and tobacco kills the germs
of tho disease?" "Oh, Slimly doesn't
smoke tobacco. He smokes cigar
ettes." Buffalo Express.
"Youu husband," said the caller,
sympathlzlngly, "was a man of ex
cellent qualities." "Yes," sighed the
widow, "ho was a good man. Every
body says so. I wasn't much ac
quainted with him myself. Ho be
longed to six lodges." Texas Sitt
ings. "I wonEit why It Is," said old
Tobe to his wife, "that women pre
fer drowning and men shooting In
caso of suidde?" "I suppose," she
replied, as she thoughtfully contem
plated his nose, "that it is because
men hate water so." Detroit Free
Press.
"Dear me!" exclaimed Mrs. Eogosh,
'look at that man com In' out of tho
restaurant He's plckln' his teeth
with his pocket-knife." "Humph!"
replied her husband, "he probably
wasn't raised where they have forks
and so bo don't know no better."
Washington Star. ,
SnE "That couple in front of us
do you think they uro married?" Ho
"Yes, I am sure they are. They
have been married a long time, too.
She "Why, how do you know?" Ho
"Haven't you noticed that when a
pretty girl comes on tho stage she
always hands the opera glasses over
right away?" Somerville Journal.
Mr. Jaosby My dear, allow me
to Introduce Mr. Bagsby. Mrs.
Jagsby I am delighted to meet you,
Mr. Bagsby. But do you know, Mr.
Bagsby, that I have so often heard
you helping Mr. Jagsby to get the
front door open when he comes home
late at night, that it Is almost the
same as meeting an old frlond. In
dianapolis Journal
ft